The Trip
by TJE
Summary: Bella's vacation ends up being quite different than what she'd expected when she crosses paths with actor, Anthony Cullen. ExB. All Human. OOC. AU. Canon pairings. Romance/Humor/Drama. Rated for language & lemons
1. Chapter 1  Pizza and Packing

**Rundown: This is an All Human (AH), Out of Character (OOC) – to some degree or another - Bella x Edward (BxE) fic. Thanks to MC for agreeing to beta this for me!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

**Thanks for reading. **

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 1: Pizza and Packing**

"Yes, Mom, I promise, I'll bring pepper spray," I said with a sigh as I leaned against the counter in my little apartment's kitchen.

"Rose too," my mom fretted sternly.

"Okay," I promised her, though I was certain Rosalie was not going to let anyone do anything to either of us, pepper spray or not. Rose was a force to be reckoned with. She was very nearly the victim of rape back when we were in college. A case of unfortunate happenstance found Rose alone late at night walking from the bar back to our apartment one night. I was stressed about a final I wanted to study for the next week and had stayed in—something I would never stop kicking myself about. But Rose handled herself just fine. Incredibly, that woman bit the guy's chest, drawing blood, and managed to tear his nut sack with her freshly manicured nails. She scared the living death out of me when she got back to the apartment with ripped clothes, all dirty and bloody. Admittedly, she was shaken up. But it wasn't from being so close to being a victim, it was because she was in a shaken rage. She wanted that guy's demise the way a vampire was consumed with the need for blood. Rosalie couldn't stop rambling nonsense about letting the guy get away. Of course the police found him pretty quickly. Given the fact the injuries she inflicted on him, they just had to keep an eye on the local hospitals. I was proud and in awe of my best friend when I found out what she'd done to the guy—and to be honest, a bit frightened.

So, despite feeling certain we'd be fine, I conceded to my overly concerned mother because I could picture her worrying a hole in the kitchen floor with her pacing back and forth, fretting about my and Rosalie's trip.

"Thank you," she breathed a sigh of relief. I could almost hear her relaxing. "It will make your father and I feel a lot better about the two of you going on this trip."

_Because we're just helpless damsels,_ I thought sarcastically.

Okay, so, I'd probably trip over my own feet trying to run away from an attacker, rendering my self-defense skills useless, so my mom had a point there. But Rose? I would have liked to have seen a guy who thought he could try to take her down. That woman was like a grizzly bear cub; she looked beautiful and harmless, but those claws could kill.

"Well, have a safe flight and give me a call when you arrive so I know you got there alright." she ordered.

I sighed. My mother, the eternal worrier. It was amazing to me that she didn't suffer from ulcers.

"Sure, mom. I promise to call you, but don't freak out and have Dad or Jake register me as a missing person if you don't hear from me within five minutes of our scheduled landing time," I teased my mom with a laugh.

"Ha, ha Bella," she said dryly. "Don't get smart."

"Alright Mom, I'd better get packing."

"Okay, but don't forget, I'll talk to you tomorrow," she reminded sternly. "And have a great time. I can't wait to hear all about it."

"Bye." I said as I quickly snapped my phone shut and threw it onto the kitchen counter before my mother could think of something else to make me promise her.

I loved my mother, but it was like she had two polar opposite personalities living in her body at the same time, like a grownup and a kid living trying to co-exist as one person. On one side, she would worry to the point it was like a worm eating at her; the more she thought about it the worse it got until she was driving herself and everyone around her crazy, especially when it came to her children—a byproduct of seeing and hearing about too many horrors from being married to a police chief; even if it was in just a small town like Forks. But then there was her flip side. The side where she treated my sister and me like we were her best friends instead of parent/children. That part was mostly great, except for the fact that she wanting us to talk about our sex lives with her. Thankfully for me, I didn't have much of a history with the other sex, which saved me from too many fiery blushes when she'd try to get Jess and me to share with her.

I turned to my fridge and began rifling through it, looking for something to eat for supper. I stared and stared inside the thing, willing for some sort of food to magically appear.

Nope. Still nothing.

Sigh. I really wished I wouldn't have forgotten to eat lunch.

As if in conversation with me, my stomach twisted in a hollow rumble, moaning with its emptiness.

I let out a growl of frustration. Then—and I completely blame this on the hunger—I started talking to my stomach.

"Fine," I told it curtly, in reply to its pitiful sounding whine of a grumble. "You go ahead and tell me how I'm going to make something eatable out of a stick of butter," I said tersely picking up each item as if proving to my empty stomach, I wasn't holding out on it, "an opened package of shredded mozzarella cheese, a nearly empty jar of pickles, and a half a jar of jam." I finished plopping the jar of jam down with a loud "thunk."

My stomach made no reply to my point. Whether it was in petulant silence or it conceded my point, I didn't know. But either way, it made me feel like I'd won the argument.

Yes. An argument with my stomach. It wasn't my finest moment.

A quick flicker of wonder passed through my mind of what Freud would think of my speaking to my stomach like it was its own person. Would he classify me as crazy? Or would he tell me some part of my childhood was to blame? Like how, according to Freud, people who have some sort of oral fixation; smoke, suck their thumbs, bite their nails, etc were weaned as a baby too early or too late.

I mentally shrugged, brushing off the thought as I shoved the refrigerator door closed with more force than necessary. I took a breath, said a silent prayer to the food gods and pulled open the freezer holding out little hope of success.

I—ever diligent—had done my best to not keep much for food on hand the last several days. I ate up what I had and didn't buy anything new unless I knew for certain I would use it up before I left and—stupidly—threw things away a night too early. With leaving the next morning I was to the point of pretty much… nothing.

I supposed it was kind of silly for me to be so thorough. I was going to be gone less than a week, and really, most things would still be fine after that amount of time. The problem was a deeply engrained habit I'd picked up from my mother when I was little that had now gotten to the point where it was almost obsessive compulsive.

Another brain shrink musing. I was full of those tonight.

Well, the toss all food habit wasn't really _from_ my mother per se. More aptly, it was a habit I'd forced myself into in order to avoid coming home from a trip to near vomit-inducing surprises. There had been some not so welcoming homecomings that greeted my family when we'd come back from family vacations growing up. One in particular, My dad, had always insisted on turning off the thermostat while we were away to save electricity and my mom had left out an open container of milk on the counter from breakfast the morning we'd left. To make matters worse, it was one of _the_ hottest weeks on record that week we were gone. Sweltering heat beat down on that milk, through the window, while we were away and the house turned into something akin to a sauna, resulting in a horribly rancid smell that assaulted us when we'd returned. The stench seemed to permeate through the house so even when we removed the culprit and aired out the house, the odor lingered behind. For the longest time I could still smell rotten milk in the carpet, furniture, curtains, clothes, everything, though I wasn't ever sure if the smell really did latch itself into every fiber of the place or if the memory was just that jagged. Of course I stopped smelling spoiled milk after the time my mom left out a can of garbage in the kitchen; forgetting to take it out. It was full of food from the fridge, making an attempt to clean it out before we left—she'd tried. Our return was a very similar scenario. Even if though it hadn't been a record heat that time we were gone, it didn't take away from the fact of how awful the house stunk.

After a few various versions of that, I began to take it upon myself to remove all items of food in the house that had even the smallest bit of a chance of spoiling in absence of daily supervision. I was unwilling to go through anything like that again, in turn it became a deeply engrained habit to purge almost everything before leaving longer than a day—a habit that was backfiring spitefully on me right now.

As I surveyed the freezer, my first thought was that I was right in my bleak prediction. It seemed to be about as empty as the fridge. I shifted around frozen bags of vegetables and a half-eaten cup of a Dairy Queen Snickers blizzard. I inspected it. It was rock hard and freezer burnt, but I had to admit, it was winning the race of supper possibilities.

I dared my stomach to protest. Wisely, it remained quiet.

Stubbornly refusing to accept defeat in having to make a run for food or skip supper altogether, I persisted—ignoring my stomach as it practically reached out and grabbed the car keys from the table. Sadly, I got far too excited when I spotted a package of tater tots in the back corner.

I pulled the bag out and stood there in front of the open freezer debating on whether or not tater tots would be good enough to be the only food I ate that day. Work had been so chaotic trying to wrap things up before leaving, the day slipped by without being able to stop for much more than the occasional sip of coffee.

At this point, the tater tots were looking mighty good.

My stomach spoke up, demonstrating its echoing emptiness as if telling me to suck it up and find it some actual food already.

It had a point.

I moved to put the bag back in the freezer when I spotted something hiding under where I'd found the tater tots in the back corner. I reached in and tugged the item out with a hard yank—the ice build-up put up a good fight, but I won… I nearly fell on my ass when I dislodged my find, but I had won all the same.

When I looked down at the item in my hands, it was as if the thing glowed, and I heard the celestial chorus singing a resounding, "aaahhhhh!"

A frozen pizza.

I clutched it excitedly—not caring about its freezer burned state—and hugged the pathetic-looking thing to my chest as I twirled around to set the oven temp. It was no gourmet meal, but it was good enough for me. I twirled back to the refrigerator—bruising my hip on the edge of the counter in the process—and pulled out the bag of shredded cheese I had in there. I emptied the bag's contents onto the ice-coated pizza, making an impressive mound, crowning the little thing, feeling quite satisfied with myself in both finding something for supper and using up one more thing before heading out.

I flipped the lid of the garbage to throw the now empty cheese package away when my phone sang out my newest favorite song.

Despite my love of the song, I cringed at the sound. I figured, for certain, it was my mom who had thought of something else to make me promise to do. Like, maybe somehow buy a Conceal and Carry permit and handgun before the flight out the next morning—despite the impossibility due to the waiting period for background screening—so I could have a gun with me for protection.

I let out a groan as I trudged to the phone, dragging my feet the three steps to get to it. Because far-fetched as it might have seemed, it was exactly the kind of think my mom would dream up.

Ugh. Or worse, she was calling because, though she had sternly instructed me to pack condoms, she forgot to make me promise to _tell her_ about any hook-ups I had, hoping for once I'd let loose so she could live vicariously through me.

Despite the highly unlikely chance that would happen, my face heated up just thinking about it.

I grabbed my phone off the counter and looked at the display. I felt instant relief—and a wave of excitement. It was Rosalie.

"Hey Rose!" I said grinning ear-to-ear the moment I'd flipped my phone open, and continued talking without waiting for her returned greeting. "Can you believe that we finally leave tomorrow?"

"I truly can't wait," Rose said with a grin in her voice. "So, are you all packed and ready?"

"No. I… haven't started packing yet, actually," I reluctantly admitted to her. "Unless of course, you count reducing the amount of food in my apartment to the point even a mouse would probably not be able to sustain itself. At least I shouldn't return to a rodent problem." I added in mock delight.

I turned to the stove and set the oven timer. Normally, charred pizza would just be annoying, but with no stock of food presently at my place; it would be detrimental.

"Are you serious?'

"Yes, I'm serious. I was far too thorough with my food removal this time. I almost didn't have anything to eat tonight."

She let out a sharp, petulant sigh knowing I was dodging an answer to her question. "No. You really haven't even started packing yet?"

"Don't worry; I'll be packed and ready in time. Have a little faith."

I could practically hear Rose's eyes roll over the phone. But I knew that she knew I was right.

"You know, I should have become a teacher," I said the random thought that had crossed my mind aloud with a sigh as I opened the fridge foolishly hoping I'd missed a beer or soda somewhere in there.

Nope. Tap water it was.

"What? I haven't heard you mention teaching in probably years. Did something happen at work? I thought you liked working at Newton's… despite the fact that you're the least outdoorsy person I know."

Newton's was a sporting goods company that was rapidly opening more and more stores throughout the country—owned by none other than my brother-in-law's family. My family and friends, of course, found the humor in the fact that I worked there, even if it was in their office in Port Angeles.

"I don't need to be outdoorsy to work in an office," I bristled. "I work with computers, meetings and conference rooms. Very indoors, remember? But no, I do still like it there well enough, I just had the thought that if I'd become a teacher like I was going to, I'd be off of work for the rest of the summer."

Rose hummed in agreement. "You have a really good point."

"I know I do. But dreaming aside, what I really should have done was taken today off to get ready. I take it you're all packed and ready to go," I confirmed, already knowing the answer.

"Almost. I would be, but Royce is coming to pick up Henry in about a half hour and with having to go the next week without seeing him, I wasn't about to waste time with him packing. But right now he's eating, and being a typical boy, that's all he's focused on. So, I thought I'd give you a quick call," Rose defended herself.

Royce was Rosalie's ex-husband and Henry was their little son who was almost three. He was an adorable, doll of a thing—complete with dimpled cheeks. He was a perfect, gorgeous mix of the two stunning people that were Rose and Royce getting both Royce's smile, Rose's piercing violet-blue eyes.

Henry was the type of child that tricked a person into thinking kids weren't such a bad idea. Being around Henry or a child like him would result in even the most resilient to the idea of children to be bitten hard with baby fever because he was so adorable, charming and sweet. Rose openly admitted her luck in having one of the best behaved children on record because even at his worse it was better than many kids' best. Rose joked that there was no way, after Henry, she would be able to have another child. She said, with how good Henry was, her next child would be bound to be Satan's spawn—child from _The Omen_ horrible.

Royce and Rosalie had a whirlwind romance a few years ago. They'd met and married within just a couple months' time.

Not that I blamed Rosalie for jumping the gun with Royce. He was the definition of a catch; handsome, smart, funny, kind, affectionate, sweet and—after Henry came—a great father. To be honest, I still thought the two of them should try to reconcile and I didn't keep it a secret I felt that way.

"How _is_ Royce?" I asked full of meaning.

"Royce is fine," Rosalie answered the literal question, ignoring the embedded—making me laugh. "He's actually beside himself excited to get to have Henry all to himself for the next week—it's actually pretty adorable. You should hear all the things he has planned to do with the kid. Henry is going to think I'm boring when I get back, not to mention he's is justas psyched as Royce is. Of course I'd made the mistake of telling him he gets to spend a whole week at Daddy's while I go spend some time with you. He's been asking about it non-stop since. Every time he sees Royce he tells me, 'Bye-bye Mommy! Have good trip.' And when he doesn't, he asks me, 'when you go 'way so I can go fun places wif daddy'," Rosalie said mimicking her son's voice. "I wish he would have been more of a Mommy's boy. I'm still kind of salty that he prefers Royce so much more than me. I thought it was mommies and their boys," she huffed.

"Come on, it's cute he's so excited," I said smiling at her light whine.

"Yeah, whatever. It still sucks being the dispensable one," Rose griped. "Someday Bella, you'll have a kid—despite your claim you won't—and they'll want nothing to do with you. And when you come to me complaining about it, I'll tell you 'I told you so.'"

"Gee, thanks Rose. How sweet," I said with mock appreciation.

"Aw, you know I'd bring alcohol to ease the sting of it," she added in consolation. "Anyway, you need to get moving on packing or you'll still be up when I come by in the morning. You know, actually I'm really surprised you hadn't even started."

"I haven't had time, my mom was on the phone with me from the time I got off work until just a minute ago."

"Is she all worked up?" I could hear the knowing smile in her voice.

"To say the least," I laughed. "She had to talk to me about all the things she's worried about, which of course made her more worried. Then, of course, she made me promise to take precautionary measures."

"Did she tell you that you'd better have condoms packed?"

Rose knew my mom well.

"You know she did," I laughed and blushed. "But I was talking about the pepper spray she made me promise we'll both carry."

"Sounds like I need to add that to my last minute store run list," Rose snorted a laugh. "Pepper spray," she paused probably to write it down. "Got it."

"So," I cleared my throat, "would you mind picking up one for me too? Since you're already going out and all."

Rosalie laughed. "Sure. Pepper spray times two."

"Where do you even get pepper spray?" I wondered out loud.

"You are related to not one but _two_ police officers, and you don't know?"

"What? I've never had to buy any. Charlie and Jake had always given me cans of the stuff."

"So… why don't we just take along some of your stockpile? I'm sure you have a mountain of them. Or have you been using it on unfortunate random people for entertainment?"

A laugh burst from my mouth.

"That would be something you'd do, not me," I teased. "No, I just don't have any, actually. I very smartly emptied my drawer full of pepper spray cans I'd collected over the years and threw them in the trash about a month back."

"Great timing, Bella."

"Yeah, I know. I seem to have a knack for it," I said with false smugness.

"Alright, I'd better get my last few minutes with Henry—he's almost done eating. Get packing because if you stay up all night and are still asleep when I get to your place in the morning, I will not hesitate to go on this trip alone."

"It won't happen," I promised. "But why don't we give each other a call in the morning just in case?"

"Sounds like a plan. Hey, is your brother still driving us to the airport?"

"Yep. Jake will be at my place bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Great. Oh crap! Royce is here early." Rose spoke away from the phone, "Henry, hon? Go wash your hands. Daddy's here."

An excited Henry could be heard screaming, "Daddy!" then "Bye-bye Mommy! Bye!" in the background, completely ignoring his mother's request to wash his hands.

"I have to go. See you in the morning." Rose ended the call before waiting for my reply.

I set down my phone and hopped up onto the corner of the kitchen counter to wait for my pizza to finish baking. I leaned my head against the cupboards and closed my eyes letting my mind drift.

Rosalie and I had met our first year of college, when she practically bit a guy's head off who wasn't getting the picture that I wanted to be left alone. She'd overheard, got annoyed at the guy for being so dense and stepped in. It wasn't that I didn't know how to handle myself, I was completely fine and could have handled the situation, I had just went for the non-decapitating route first. Rose? She went straight for the nuts. Her theory was that it was better to got it out there instead of dancing around things. She'd always tell me that an issue wouldn't get resolved if the other party didn't know there was a problem to begin with.

Many people disliked Rose because of her love of brutal honesty and I could see why. I would have probably not looked as kindly on Rose if I'd first encountered her telling me exactly what she thought of me—sharp edges to it and cut and all. Between her stunning beauty and her abruptly brash personality, it didn't win her a popularity vote with other women. But it had become one of my favorite things about Rose. I liked that I never had to guess with her, I didn't have to wonder whether she really liked me or was just pretending she did, like I'd found with far too many people in my lifetime.

I gave a start when the oven timer beeped, loud and demanding, telling me the pizza was ready, breaking me out of my train of thought.

Resisting the urge to dive into the pizza the moment I pulled it out of the oven and burning my mouth, I took the pizza, a glass of water and a roll of paper towels—I was so classy—to the bedroom with me so I could eat and pack at the same time. Setting down the items—trying to ignore how amazing the pizza smelled—I picked up the list I'd compiled of what I didn't want to forget to pack and went to pull out my suitcase from the other room.

When I returned to the bedroom, the smell was just too much to withstand and I caved. I plopped my luggage onto my bed and practically ran to the pizza—knocking my shin on the corner of the bed in the process.

Ungh! God that hurt!

I grabbed a piece of scalding hot pizza, still hopping on one leg from my freshly knocked shin, and took a bite, ignoring my logical side telling me it was a bad idea.

"Ugh! Shit! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!" I reached for the paper towels—nearly spilling over the glass of water in my haste—to wipe the scalding hot pizza sauce and string of cheese that has swung to and clung on my chin.

After I removed the burning food, I tried to do damage control for my poor mouth by dumping the entire glass of water—that had narrowly escaped demise from the paper towels a moment earlier—into my mouth and down my throat.

I went to pour myself a fresh glass and forced myself to ignore the smells that were making my stomach begin to riot as if telling me it knew the food was out there and if I wasn't going to send it down, things were going to get ugly.

In effort to block out my stomach's shouting, I let myself get wrapped up in the excitement of The Trip. I was beyond excited about it, Rosalie and I had talked about doing this forever and now it was finally a reality.

Ha. The Trip. Rosalie and I had talked about our trip so much for so long; it had been given a proper name. "When we go on The Trip…" "I was thinking of places we could go to for The Trip." "I think I have enough money saved up for The Trip."

A couple hours later, I had finished far more of the frozen pizza than I would ever care to admit—but my stomach was happy—and everything was packed or ready to go.

Exhausted, I had a bit of an internal debate over the pros and cons of crawling immediately into my bed as I was dying to do, or hop into the shower. My body practically threw itself on the bed, but I rallied against it and headed to the shower deciding I would thank myself in the morning if I happened to oversleep. Given the sheer exhaustion I was feeling at that moment, it worried me that Rose's fear was actually a possibility. I had worked long hours, ran around all over preparing for The Trip and slept next to nothing. I was glad I knew Rose would save me in the morning with a safety net of a phone call if I should oversleep.

After the shower, I crawled into bed and curled up under the soft covers realizing the good thing about being so worn out was that I knew I wouldn't be up all night too excited to sleep. I could already feel sleep washing over me the moment I laid my head on my pillow hoping The Trip would be as great as I was anticipating.

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	2. Chapter 2  Coffee: cream, sugar or

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 2: Coffee - Cream, Sugar or Too Early to Care?**

The alarm clock sounded far too soon. I turned over with a groan, far too tired for it be time to actually wake up and hit the snooze button. As I did, my heavy lidded eyes caught a glimpse of the clock before they reclosed.

My head sunk into my warm pillow. It cradled me, welcoming me back to sleep with open arms.

Then the time registered and I jerked my head up, studying the numbers displayed on the clock, feeling the rush of adrenaline wash through me from head to toe.

Holy crow!

I must have already pressed snooze several times without realizing it, because I had wanted to be up a half hour ago.

So much for letting myself wake up slowly.

I shut my alarm off, swung my legs off the bed and groggily padded to the bathroom thanking myself for taking a shower the night before. I tied my hair back to wash my face, and then plugged in my curling iron. While that was heating up, I went into the kitchen, stifling a yawn and started a full pot of coffee.

It seemed like it took my brain ages to reach a certain level of consciousness where it finally processed the fact that The Trip was really, truly, actually _today!_ Either that or it was linked to the switch on the coffee pot, because that was when the realization hit me; Rosalie and I were _finally_ taking our girls' trip. I turned and headed back to the bedroom with enthusiasm… until I snagged my toe on the floor and nearly fell on my face.

Walking with a bit more care, I stopped to turn on my little iPod doc station. The iPod began to flip randomly through my music collection. I couldn't help but hum along as I got ready; excited that we were finally going. It seemed to have taken forever for all the plans to get finalized, but as impatient as I was for this trip to finally take place, I had to admit, it was better that it had taken a bit of time. Sure we would have still had fun if we'd gone somewhere right away when we were still raw from the ending of our relationships. But I felt like I was finally ready to let go of it all and move on with my life—and what a way to launch back into the land of the living then with a hell of a vacation with my best friend.

Okay, talk was cheap, because if I was being perfectly honest with myself, I knew I was still scared shitless about getting burned again, but it was a start.

I'd tried dating since my almost wedding—without success. I even dated a guy named Tyler for a while, but I broke it off with him as soon as he started talking about meeting my family and a future together—someday buying a home and even a hint or two about marriage. Whoa. Warning alarms sounded off blaringly loud in my head, I became completely spooked and I ran away as fast as I could. He was a great guy, but I just didn't return his feelings. Truth was, I'd kept mine too guarded to even know if there was anything there. In fact, no one even knew Tyler Crowley had even existed in my life at all except for Rose, and I'd only told her after I'd bolted.

_Not all guys are like James, Bella._

Rose had appeared to be ready to move on from the moment she said we should take this trip—although, her lack of dating since her divorce made me think otherwise. I wondered if she didn't still have feelings for Royce. I knew it was not in Rosalie's nature to hold out on anything to do with how she felt about something, but I also knew we all had things that were just too private to be laid out on the table for others to view. I was willing to bet that Royce might have been hers and why Rosalie never went on more than two dates with any one guy since. She claimed it was because of Henry. I was pretty certain she was lying—it might have been part of it, but I doubted that was the whole story. I didn't call her out on it though. If there was something that she, of all people, was not going to be forthright about, it was best to leave it be and made me wonder if I should lay off of my not-so-subtle hints and teases of her rekindling something with Royce—but _that_ I knew Rose would have told me to, "knock it the fuck off," if it really bothered her, so maybe not.

All Rosalie and I just told people, though, was that we needed a girls' trip; we didn't get into the fact that the root catalyst for The Trip was two failed marriages. Yep. To us two crapped-out, failed marriages was cause for celebration.

_Woohoo. We failed! Go us!_ I thought dryly.

Okay. Not technically two failed _marriages _since I narrowly escaped the clutches of the altar and_ the_ biggest mistake of my life—thank God for that—so officially, two failed relationships. But, "po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe," close enough.

Rose convinced me that we should spoil ourselves with a well-deserved vacation. I didn't want to go at first. But Rose was persistent. Apparently, she was more stubborn than me because not long after, I conceded. Then before I knew it I was just as damn giddy about the whole thing as she was. Because Rose was right, James was a jackhole, ass crack who had never deserved me in the first place.

Obviously, my position on my relationship with James was not exactly the same as what it was for Royce and Rosalie. Royce was a decent guy—things just didn't pan out for Rose and him. James on the other hand was a scum-of-the-earth bastard—that lying fucking asshole.

Yeah, I still harbored some serious resentment towards the bastard but it was completely justified.

I forced myself to stop the path my thoughts were on, shaking it off. I didn't really want to think about that now.

Thankfully, a very upbeat song was playing on my iPod and it helped distract my train of stormy thoughts that were tying up my mind up in knots. I shook the bubble of anger and betrayal that had started to spread through me and I concentrated on the song… one I would never openly admit I actually even listened to, much less had purchased. But it was fun, upbeat and catchy. It worked, quickly I could feel myself absorbing the happiness the song emanated and only a few bars later, I was humming and swaying my body along with the music as I curled my hair.

My phone sang out its own song loudly, competing with the music coming from my docked iPod.

I disentangled the curling iron from my hair and caught my phone that had nearly vibrated itself off the counter.

"Hello," I said as I paused the iPod.

"You awake?" Rose voice came brusquely through the phone.

_No, I'm answering the phone in my sleep._

"Of course I am. I'm up and getting ready. I wouldn't miss this thing for the world," I claimed as I meandered into the kitchen finding the coffee was ready. I pulled out a cup, dumped a mountain of dry creamer into it—the preferred real creamer banished from the house days ago with my perishable purgings—and topped it off with coffee.

"Why the hell didn't you call me then?"

"Oh."

Was I supposed to call her if I'd gotten up on my own? I'd thought she was just going to call me regardless. Whoops.

"Sorry. I forgot." I took a sip of my coffee. Mmmm. Creamy.

"Well then I'm glad I woke up on my own, you shit," Rose complained. She sounded pissed, but to the trained ear that was fluent in "Rose speak", there was a hint of amusement that could be detected in her voice, meaning she really wasn't. "See you in a little bit, Bell. Love ya."

"Yeah, I know you do. See you in a few." I hung up and noticed that I had a text message. It was from my sister Jessica. She'd sent it to me the night before but I'd missed it.

_**Guess what? Riley gets not just one but TWO little brothers or sisters! I'm pregnant w/ TWINS! I'll email u the ultrasound pictures! I'm so excited! Mike too.**_

I stared at the text. Jessica's recently announce pregnancy just graduated up a level in crazy. Jessica and twins. I knew Jess would be beyond thrilled about it the way she was with her pregnancy with Riley told anyone that plus the text she'd sent oozed her excitement; it was because it was something she could make all-about-her. I knew it was probably terrible of me to think, but it was true. She, for some reason, felt the need for attention and to feel special at all times.

I was very happy for her. It was great news, really. I was just wary about how difficult it would be to be around Jessica for the next several months… years… decades…

I groaned lightly as I took my phone and my coffee with me to the bathroom, turning the music back on as I went, debating on texting her back right away or not. It was insanely early—practically the middle of the night still—and I didn't want to wake her. I decided the beep of an incoming text probably wouldn't wake her and took my chances.

_**Wow Jess. That's great! Congratulations! :)**_

I finished curling my hair, forcing it to go in the direction I wanted it to go—instead of the multiple chaotic directions it thought it should—and began putting on a light brush of make-up when my phone buzzed with a text. I cringed. Crap. It was from Jessica. I'd woken her up.

_**Thanks! I'm SO excited! **_

At least she still sounded chipper.

_**What are you doing up? It's like 3am. I hope I didn't wake you. Sorry if I did.**_

_**Oh no! I was up. Took off work. I told Mike we both have to buy new vehicles today. Ours aren't big enough for 3 kids in car seats. I'm online looking at different cars. Couldn't sleep.**_

I felt better that I didn't wake her, but I felt a twinge of sympathy for Mike. He didn't have a chance reasoning with Jessica that the vehicles they had were fine or that they had a half a year to worry about getting new ones. Jessica would be driving home a new one by the end of the day, and most likely so would Mike if Jess had her way. His pockets were going to be significantly lighter by the day's end.

I shook my head and replied.

_**Glad I didn't wake you. :) **_

_**Nope, wide awake. But exciting, right? Twins! All those matching outfits & things. But, now I have to think of twice the names. Ugh. **_

_**You'll figure it out.**_

_**Yep. Always do. I can't wait to show U the car I get. I'll swing by and show u later. **_

_**I'm leaving this morning with Rose. Vacation. Remember?**_

_**Oh. That means U'll miss out on seeing my new vehicle right away. :( That sucks! Well don't worry. I'll text U pictures so UR not left out.**_

_Have a nice trip Bella._ I thought sarcastically. Well, I guess I couldn't say it didn't surprise me. Jess was Jess, it was about her.

_**Thanks Jess. Later**__._

I set the phone down with a shake of my head.

I was applying the final swipes of mascara to my lashes when a knock startled me. I cursed my brother, knowing it was him, as I cleaned up the glob of mascara on my face waiting for him to appear in the bathroom doorway.

Another series of knocks.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath, realizing I didn't unlock the door for him when I had gotten up. I screwed on the top of the mascara, threw it into my makeup bag and jogged over to the door to let him in.

"Hey you big jerk!" I greeted Jacob with a smile as I opened the door for him.

Jake looked a lot like our dad only taller and darker skinned—hovering around six-and-a-half feet tall which made me feel practically dwarfish standing next to him. He was a good looking guy with kind brown eyes, dark brown hair and really built—he should have been given the amount of time he spent running and working out in his spare time. He put the paunch police officer stereotype into question. He was anything but.

I'd always kind of wished I would have gotten more of whatever genes he'd gotten… well, the pretty girl version of them. He was really sort of beautiful and it felt a little unfair that the most beautiful of us siblings was the boy.

"Morning you spoiled little brat," he replied with a wide, sparkling white grin of his own as he swooped me into his big bear hug. "You'd better have coffee, or it's your fault if I fall asleep at the wheel taking you to the airport. I need a refill."

"Nope. Sorry. Fresh out," I teased and shut the door behind him as he walked in. "I, uh, like the um…" I trailed off gesturing to my chin unable to come up with a name for Jake's newest facial hair change, "_thing_. It kind of looks like you laid your chin in a pile of crap." I slammed, even though it actually looked kind of good on him.

"Thanks," he said seriously knowing my tease was completely devoid of substance. He pulled his hand up to his chin rubbing the hair there. "I kind of like it too. I think I'm going to have to do this one again."

Jake was always doing different things with his facial hair. Sometimes it would be a layer of long stubble, then a full, fuzzy beard. Then the next time I'd see him, he'd have shaved it off minus big old "pork chop" sideburns. Then he'd try a handlebar mustache. Occasionally his creativity would meander further up his head and he'd do something with the hair on top of his head like a Mohawk… or wait, he called it something else. A, ummm, a Fauxhawk—something to do with not completely shaving the sides of the head…?

Today's feature was a goatee minus the mustache, so it was just the patch of hair covering the chin. He had a pretty good start on the length because he'd had a beard for awhile before this look.

I had stopped asking if there was a reason behind the newest change years ago because there never was any. Jake had always said that it was just what he had felt like doing that time around. I theorized that it was just a way he showed his like for fun and that he didn't take anything too seriously. Or maybe it was just something he did to break up the monotony of daily life. Who knew? It was just Jake being Jake. And when Jake made the police force, he said that it intimidated the criminals. I laughed harder than I had in a long time when he'd said that. Though he might have been right, to the outside person who didn't know Jake, he probably looked dangerous. The sheer size of him alone was enough to intimidate someone, I was sure. But to me, the idea was preposterous.

Knowing I was lying about not having coffee, Jake walked over to the coffee pot and unscrewed his travel coffee mug. I watched him as he poured a heap of dry creamer into his cup, topped it off with coffee and replaced the cover.

Like brother like sister.

"You know what you should do Jake? You should grow that patch of hair out and braid it like that guy from the band System of a Down," I suggested, remembering a music video I'd seen. One of the band member's chin hair was crazy long and braided. If he was telling the truth about wanting to intimidate criminals that would be one he'd want to try—it looked pretty bad-ass.

Jake turned around and leaned against the counter sipping the coffee. His brows puckered in question. "The lead singer or the bassist?"

"I know it's not the singer. So he must be the bassist? He's the one that has his chin hair _really_ long, shaved head…"

"Yeah, you're thinking of the bassist," Jake nodded confirming. Then he paused considering it. "Huh. Maybe, but I don't know if I could leave it as one thing for that long. It must have taken _years _to get his hair that long. It would probably get in the way and annoy the piss out of me. Besides, I'm a sprinter on these sorts of things Bells, not a marathon runner."

"I'm just saying," I defended. "You know, maybe they have facial hair extensions. You'd look cute getting hair extensions on your chin. We could go to the salon together. I'll get my hair cut, and you can get chin hair extensions," I giggled.

Jake rolled his eyes trying to stifle a laugh not wanting to admit he thought I was funny. He couldn't concede that. Then he took a sip of his coffee and gave me a look. I knew that look. Jake was thinking up some way to tease me back. He had to get back at me for the jibe I'd just thrown at him about the extensions—he'd come up with something. It was hit or miss, but he couldn't have it go unanswered.

"You _would_ think that was a good idea given the way you're dressed. Plaid? All that time at Newton's rubbing off on you there Bells?" Jake gave his best mock horror look.

"It's not plaid," I defended with a squeak, appalled at the suggestion. I looked down, examining the top a bit closer.

Wait. Maybe it was. Crap. I had just liked the purple color of it when I bought it. It was light and fitting and I thought girlie too. Damn it. He was right—though I wasn't about to admit it to him. Besides, I still liked it even if it _was_ plaid—though I'd still deny it.

"Uh-huh. Sure, sure. But, you look like a sloth," he said as he reached over and tugged on the bottom hem of my shirt.

I did not.

Then he tipped his head forward pointing with it as he pulled his cup to his mouth and added, "You know, you should at least brush your hair. And you're going to scare people going out without any makeup on like that. Really Bella, you could at least put in a _little_ effort when going out in public."

Jake shook his head and widened his eyes as he gave me a look as if I was a horror to lay eyes on. He paused for a moment for effect, then flashed a devious smile and winked as he took another sip of his coffee.

I stuck my tongue out at him—Jacob bringing out the kid sibling in me—and refilled my coffee in the same manner as he just had.

Plaid or not plaid, we both knew I looked just fine, but Jake and I lived off teasing one another with jibes and sarcasm. It was our thing. Since we were little, making mud pies in the back yard, Jake and I picked on one another. The funny thing was, Jake would pummel anyone else for even thinking about messing with me but he could torment me until next Tuesday.

"I suppose you don't have any food in the house for me to eat? I'm starving."

Oh, how he knew me. He should. He grew up in that house too, and it was thanks to me that those House of Horror surprises at the end of family vacations stopped occurring.

"Nope. Not unless you want pickles and jam, Chief Jacob," I teased.

Jake had taken after our dad who was the police chief in Forks by joining police force himself becoming a police officer in Sequim. Jake wasn't a police chief yet himself, but the nickname sprang from when we were younger. When Charlie made chief, Jake had crowed excitedly, non-stop that he wanted to be police chief just like Dad. Mom started lovingly calling him "her little chief," to which Jess and I began to tease him about, like siblings did. Eventually, the nickname no longer was a tease and had just became as natural as calling him Jake.

Jake rolled his eyes at my over-thoroughness but otherwise made no retort.

Yet.

"Hey, did Jessica text you too?" I asked knowing full well that Jessica was eager to tell everyone she knew. I loved my sister dearly, but with Jessica, it was all about her.

"Yeah," he scoffed a laugh. "She'll take full advantage, I'm sure," Jake shook his head feeling the same way I did.

"Did Jess tell Leah?" I asked glancing at Jake out of the corner of my eye. Leah, Jake's wife, was not shy about the fact that she wanted to get started on having kids.

"Oh yeah. You know Jess told everyone she's ever said more than two words to in her life that she's having twins. She'll probably put something in the paper, knowing her."

"Again," I snorted in acquiescence.

Jess had put an announcement in the paper when she was pregnant with Riley that read, "Congratulations Jessica and Mike Newton on expecting your first child! Love your family." We were happy for them, but none of us sent in the congratulations to the paper. Jessica thanked all of us as if she knew nothing about it. Did she think the rest of us never spoke to one another?

"How'd Leah take it?" I hedged.

"I swear she's about to fursplode."

"_Fursplode_?" I snorted.

"Yeah, fursplode," he confirmed. "Explode didn't seem like a strong enough word to describe her. She's going nuts. Between that this morning and the fact that she got to do a delivery on her shift yesterday, I'm not going to be able procrastinate on the kid thing much longer," Jake answered morosely.

Leah was an obstetrics nurse at the hospital here in Port Angeles. She _loved_ her job. I, myself didn't understand the appeal. I really didn't understand why women, who didn't have kids and wanted to, would want to see all the pain and horrors that having a baby did to a woman's body like that. I would have thought seeing all that would scare off even the bravest of souls and stave off even the severest bites of baby fever. Not Leah. If anything that job made her itch for a baby even more.

"Oh suck it up Jake!" I chided him. "You've always said you wanted kids. What's the problem?"

"I do want kids. But it's just—everything changes. That's what." Jake said seriously, then his face scrunched up, "and who are you to give me crap? Miss 'I'm not going to have any kids.'"

"To each their own, Chief," said mock punching his shoulder. "You know, though. Jess and Mike seem to be fine still after they had Riley. I mean, after their, 'on again, off again' dramas from high school up through their wedding day, I _know _neither of us thought they'd make it a year beyond the altar—if they managed to make it there at all. And look at them; still married, seem to be relatively happy and expecting again. You and Leah, you're—" I paused letting out my breath before drifting serious with my big brother for a moment, "you have what people spend their whole lives searching for. I see the way you look at one another. You have that something. So, yeah it will change things. Completely. But you both want kids and you two are great together. You'll figure it out."

Jake stood there staring at nothing for a moment absorbing what I'd said, nodding absentmindedly. Then he snapped out of his train of thought and narrowed his eyes at me playfully.

"I hate it when you make sense."

"I know," I said smugly. "And it happens so often that you must be miserable a lot."

A series of knocks at the door interrupted Jake from being able to make a comeback.

"Come in!" I called as I raised my coffee mug to my lips, knowing it was Rose.

Rosalie was kind of a hard person to be friends with, and I wasn't just talking about her shameless gall. The woman was not one speck less than striking. She was the definition of statuesque, had thick, long, naturally blonde, wavy hair and eyes so strikingly violet-blue that they almost felt like they pierce right through you. Her face was perfect too; full lips, wide eyes fully framed with thick lashes, I could have gone on forever, really. I couldn't deny that my self-esteem took a bit of a hit whenever I was in the same room as her, and even worse, being friends with her brought me right next to her for easy comparison as to just how I paled.

I couldn't help but feel a bit petulant about how blessed Rosalie was compared to the rest of the world in looks. Though Rose had told me on more than one occasion that she wished she had coveted things about me. With a woman as striking as Rose the kneejerk reaction was to disregard her as trying to be nice—because really, what could anyone have that she would want—but Rose told it like it was, so I tried to believe her when she told me things like wishing she was as little as me. That was one thing I did have on her, I had a smaller dress size and weighed less than her—but of course I also had smaller boobs and was several inches shorter than her too.

"Geez-us!" Rosalie exclaimed as she entered my place. "Holy shit, that rain is _cold_ out there. Is it asking too much for it to lay off occasionally for fuck's sake?"

"Oh, don't worry about the rain. We're leaving, remember?" I smiled at her.

"Yes, yes we are," she grinned widely with the reminder—satisfied. "Hey Jake."

"You better have a cup of coffee. You look like hell." Jake wasted no time starting in on Rose.

"Aw," Rose said sounding actually touched and put a hand over her heart. "I love you too Chief." Then she flipped him the bird with a smirk on her face as she went to help herself to some coffee—black. No messing with pesky things like cream or sugar for that woman. Give it to her straight, just like everything else.

Jake grinned back at her.

"You ready?" she asked me taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, I just need to throw my make-up, brush and curling iron—" I began to say but Jake cut me off.

"Nah, don't bother. It's not like you use any of those things," he scoffed holding back a laugh while trying to keep his poker face.

"…into the suitcase and I should be set," I finished saying to Rose as I shoved Jake's shoulder. "You know Chief, who the hell invited you, anyway?"

"I don't _have_ to give you a ride to the airport, you know," Jake threatened.

"No. But you're already here. And you wouldn't leave me here, you like me too much," I told him smugly.

"Lucky for you…" Jake laughed in concession.

"Well hurry up," Rose said practically shooing me out of the room. "Get that little ass of yours moving."

"I am. But don't you worry your pretty head. We have time." I said looking at the clock but headed out of the kitchen to my bedroom to pack the last of my things, and get my bags.

"Not if we hit traffic in Tacoma," Rose called.

"Blah, blah, blah," I called back.

Jake managed to coerce our luggage into his car, grumbling something about us thinking we were moving there. Then we were on our way, Jake navigating his way along the wet, dark roads to the airport.

"Oh. Rose?" I asked awhile into the drive.

"Yeah?" she asked sleepily and opened her eyes raising her head from the headrest.

"Did you find pepper spray?"

"Actually I forgot to look," she said a little clearer sitting up in her seat. "I didn't remember until I'd returned home and saw it written down on the list I'd forgotten to bring to the store. But wasn't about to run out again. Looks like you're going to have to break a promise to Renee."

"Crap." I couldn't have cared less about having pepper spray on me on our trip, I was concerned about the fact Jake would be a shit and tell Renee. "Don't you dare tell Mom."

"Your secret is safe with me," Jake laughed. "Mom worries about you too much. Telling her would only make _my_ life more difficult while you're away anyway."

"So it's not about helping me out, it's about helping yourself out. Okay Jessica." I grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Ouch. That stung. Well, if you put it that way," Jake said pausing for dramatic effect, "telling Mom _just might_ be worth it." He teased cracking a huge, devious smile.

"Jake, don't be such a jerk," I said giving him a playful smack on the shoulder. "If you told on me I'd hate you forever and you know you wouldn't be able to live without my company."

"Nah, you wouldn't hate me. I'm too lovable. And you're company isn't _that _phenomenal, Sunshine."

I rolled my eyes at my brother.

"You know Bell, I doubt we would have been able to take pepper spray on the plane anyway," Rose pointed out. "They'd probably just take it from us. It has to be one of the banned items."

"True," I began. "But _Jessica_ here," Jake interrupted with an appalled "hey!" but I didn't pause, "might rat on me then I'll have Renee calling me every five minutes. I'll have to find some there, I guess," I sighed in defeat wishing I was a better liar. The last thing I wanted to do was spend part of my vacation on finding pepper spray or being harassed by my mother. Because if Jake wasn't bluffing and if Renee called me on it, she'd know I was lying immediately.

"Oh, here," Jake groaned reaching over into his glove box to open it. "There's one for each of you. Put them into your checked luggage and you shouldn't have a problem."

I looked down. There, in the glove box were two cans of pepper spray.

"Aw, Jake, you don't hate me after all."

"Yeah, well, as much fun as it would be to have something over you like that, I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you and I hadn't given you these. So…" He shrugged with one shoulder.

"Thanks, but I don't think you need to worry about us. You and Dad make sure I'm always taking self defense classes, and we all know Rose can take care of herself." I reminded him of Rosalie's stellar ability to not just take down an attacker but send him to the ER.

"Damn right," Rosalie piped up from the back seat then mumbled under her breath, "lowlife bastard."

"Yes. We all know that you two are forces to be reckoned with," Jacob said in a way that made me feel like he was humoring a small child as he rolled his eyes. "But I don't like that I won't be nearby if you need me. Mom's right about this. You should keep these on you."

I grabbed the cans out of the glove box and handed one back to Rose. I had to smirk a bit seeing Jake visibly relax as I did. My brother the protector.

Rose's prediction was right. We did hit traffic in Tacoma, but it wasn't bad enough to really slow us downsince it was so early in the morning and we still arrived at the airport in plenty of time—as I had told her.

Jake pulled up in front of the airport's drop off area by the ticketing doors navigating through all the vehicles and people that were all doing the same. When he stopped, he got out and unloaded our luggage for us putting them up on the curb.

"Alright you two have a safe trip," Jake said with a grunt as he placed the last piece of luggage on the sidewalk. "Have fun. But _behave _yourselves." His dark eyes narrowed as they met mine. "I don't want any three a.m. phone calls resulting in me having to fly to New York to bail your asses out of jail."

"Oh come on. You and I both know you wouldn't have to take the trouble to fly all the way there. I'm sure you could wire us the money, right? And you're a cop, Chief. I'd bet you could pull a string or two to get them to let us go on your word. Scout's honor and all that."

Rose tried unsuccessfully to hold back a snicker.

"Always the fucking smartass," Jake said trying to sound put-out with me, but he was unsuccessful at holding back his grin.

"I'll tell you what, Jacob. I promise that _we_ won't do anything _you_ wouldn't do," I said failing to keep my lips from curling up into a smirk.

"That's not promising crap," he scoffed as he pulled me into his arms for a bear hug and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Now, promising not to do anything Jessica wouldn't do would be more reassuring."

"True, she's not nearly as fun as we are," I agreed. Jess loved things about her, but only good things. So while she did everything she could to draw attention to herself, she never did anything really wrong or rebellious, like say, jump on the back of a random guy's motorcycle—not that I had ever done anything like that myself.

I smiled at the fun stupidity of that night.

Jake smiled back at me thinking I was grinning about our conversation.

"I love you Bells."

"You too Chief. See you on Sunday."

"Keep an eye on her, eh?" Jake asked Rose, jerking his head in my direction.

Rose snorted. "She's a big girl Jake. She's not as fragile as she seems—I've rubbed off on her over the years you know. She'll be fine."

Jake nodded. They exchanged a quick hug and Jake hopped back into the car. He waved as he disappeared from view between other vehicles and into the dark morning.

"Ready?" Rose asked with a smile.

"Definitely."

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	3. Chapter 3 Are we there yet?

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**Chapter 3: Are we there yet?**

I was getting antsy. The flight from Seattle to New York was nearly five hours long.

_Five_ hours. Sigh.

It didn't seem so bad, thinking about it abstractly, during the excitement of planning. However_,_ enduring five hours in an uncomfortable, confined seat was a wholly different thing. I wasn't sure if I could take it any longer. I was going stir-crazy. It didn't help that I was jittery from all the coffee I'd had at home and at the airport.

I had tried reading the book I'd brought with me on the plane. I only just started reading it recently, but was already really into it and was excited to have the long plane ride, with a nice block of time, to dedicate to reading it.

Little did I know…

I wasn't a seasoned traveler, so I didn't take into account the crying babies, restless children, distracting nearby conversations; having my seat bumped every two minutes by the person behind me; having the person in front of me unable to decide if they wanted their chair reclined a little, a lot or not at all; multiple interruptions by the flight attendants offering food and beverages; constantly being bumped by person after person with their trips to and from the bathroom…Why hadn't anyone ever warned me? I found out quickly, an airplane was not the most conducive environment for losing yourself in a good book.

I had chided Rosalie when she'd stopped at an airport terminal shop to buy a whole stack of different magazines. I figured she'd be through them before we were done with the first half of the flight; knowing there were generally only a couple of articles in each magazine that you wanted to read anyway. Plus, most of the ones she'd grabbed were rag mags and those could be flipped through really quickly; being mostly photos and quips or paragraphs. I personally didn't fully understand the appeal of those trash rags. It was rare that I would actually buy one. I usually only glanced at them, to pass the time, if I was standing in a long line at the grocery store; but Rosalie loved to look through them. She'd said a vacation wasn't complete without junk magazines and she assured me she would be perfectly fine with them to keep her entertained throughout the flight.

But yet there I was, not half-way through the flight to New York, swiping Rosalie's magazines. She gave me a playful smirk, but said nothing about making me eat my words, as I grabbed and flipped through first one, then another magazine as I bobbed my head along to the music on my iPod. It was when I began to slide the third magazine from the middle of the pile, however, that she piped up.

"Make sure that one doesn't get left on the plane," Rose said quickly when she noticed which one I had started to pull from the pile.

I stopped taking the magazine out from the stack and looked at the name that was peeking out from under the others. I looked back up at Rosalie questioningly. The name of it didn't spark any significance. I pulled out an ear bud to ask her what she meant, but she clarified the moment the bud was out of my ear, thinking I hadn't heard her.

"I don't care about the others, but don't leave that one on the plane," Rosalie instructed as if it was quite important. "I'm not done looking at it," she added lightly, giving a casual shrug. Then a smile began to play at the corner of her lips.

Curious, I pulled the magazine completely out from under the others. When my eyes fell upon the cover, I found a pair of stunning hazel-green eyes staring intensely back at me.

Wow.

He had short, cropped black hair and his square jaw that was covered in a close layer of stubble. The look on his face screamed sex and feral lust. He was wearing dog tags and a wife beater that showed off his huge shoulders and bulging biceps. I could vividly imagine that his chest and stomach looked every bit as rigidly toned.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at Rosalie. She unabashedly licked her lips and gave me a mischievous smile before turning back to the gossip magazine she was looking at.

I breathed a laugh and turned back to the magazine.

Emmett Cullen.

I knew of him. He was an actor, but I hadn't seen too many of his films because he typically played in action movies that were more geared toward guys—I figured it was because of his sheer size. Despite that, I definitely knew who he was. If I didn't Rose would have made sure I did—she kind of had a thing for him; like I kind of had a thing for Emmett's brother, Anthony, who was also an actor. Rosalie was probably the only hot-blooded, heterosexual female out there that, "did not really see the appeal," of Anthony Cullen, but she definitely saw it in Emmett. Rosalie seemed drawn to big, built guys with chiseled, bulging muscles—if I would have kept a photo log of Rose's boyfriend history, it would definitely display a pattern—Royce included.

Rosalie hadn't been coy when she told me why she liked that kind of guy. We'd only known one another a very short time when she'd said, that not only did she love the way a built guy looked, she liked a guy that could "handle" her in the bedroom. When I had looked at her stupidly, unable to grasp what she meant, being an innocent, naïve college-age virgin, she elaborated for me. She'd told me that there was nothing better than a guy that could pick you up and fling you around in the bedroom, adding that the position options were far greater, the more flexible you were and the stronger he was. I'd, naturally, flushed tomato red from head to toe and my mouth hung open from shock and embarrassment. I was completely mortified by her casual reference to such a personal topic. Rosalie had laughed at my reaction and told me to keep hanging out with her and she'd break me out of my meek and innocent little shell.

I smiled; knowing that while I probably would never be as brash and open as she was, she had definitely helped me overcome my extreme introvert tendencies, by exposing me to many new experiences throughout our years of friendship.

I flipped open the magazine and started to page through it. When I stopped at the article on Emmett Cullen, I looked over the photos of him. In the first photo, he was standing, shirtless with black sunglasses on and wearing a black, wool jacket with the collar popped up. He looked nothing short of incredible—in a league of his own, out of anyone's reach. In the second photo, he was—shirtless again, of course—but this time he was only in a pair of button-fly jeans that were half undone. That photo was hot, sensual and erotic. It screamed sexual anticipation. The way he was positioned and the look on his face, it suggested that he might have been about to reach in and grab himself. I blushed, for no apparent reason other than at the thought that had just crossed my mind, and moved on to the next picture hoping to cool my warmed face, but it was no less tame. In the next one, he was down to just a lowly pair of very tight fitting, plain, boxer briefs, showcasing his body's etched-to-perfection muscles and, um, package, while he held up a naked woman. She was strategically placed so all vital areas were covered and she was straddling—yes straddling—the one arm he held her up with. Her arms were casually draped on his shoulder, as she looked seductively into the camera, while he held her up with just one arm and his other arm was draped casually at his side. Somehow, he managed to make holding up an entire woman with one arm appear effortless, while looking brooding and sexy as hell. How did he do that? Sure the girl was probably at most a hundred pounds soaking wet, but still.

Feeling like I was being watched, I looked up at Rose. But she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at the photo of Emmett Cullen looking like he was taking the woman on his arm back to his cave. Even without the small humming sound that escaped her throat, as she looked at the photograph, the smirk on her lips and the way her eyes shone, I knew what she was thinking. The memory of Rose telling me why she liked the guys she did, came flooding back to me for the second time in minutes. I knew that the mental images running through her mind would have made me blush fire engine red—wait. Yep, even without knowing exactly what she was thinking, I could feel my face flush.

Rose's eyes flashed up to mine.

"Are you blushing Bella?" Rose's smirk became noticeably bigger with her tease. "He's not even naked. I don't think we'll ever be able to take the innocence out of you. Will we?"

"He doesn't have to be naked, that photograph is probably more erotic because he _isn't _naked." Seriously, those photos were like porn for women. "Besides, you say that like it's a bad thing. For your information, I'm blushing more because I can pretty much guess what you're thinking about the pictures, not really about the pictures themselves," I defended myself, feeling my face grow slightly warmer with my partial lie.

"Okay," she said in a way that made me think she didn't actually believe me. "And, for the record, I don't think your innocent blushes are a bad thing. It's sweet, but it makes me doubt I'll ever succeed in getting the both of us laid on this trip."

"I didn't know that was on the list of things to do," I laughed once, masking my discomfort, as I closed the magazine. This knowledge surprised me, though I knew I should have fully expected Rose to decide to make a "trip to do list" that would be something so far out of my comfort realm that I couldn't grasp if I would really want to participate.

"To do", certainly just took on a whole new meaning.

"Sure as shit it's on the list," Rose said sternly. "It's at the fucking top."

Oh no.

"I've been far too responsible, for far too long," she continued. "And we'll be on the complete opposite side of the country from our real lives, obligations and responsibilities—I have every intention to stop giving a flying fuck and do _whatever_ and _whomever_ I damn well please, while we're in New York!"

"And… how is that attitude any different than any other day for you, Rose?" I quipped.

"It's not, really, I guess with the 'doing whatever' part, but I haven't exactly let loose on the 'whomever' since Henry came. So, I'm upping the ante, for myself, and putting it on the table for you. The biggest difference is now I have half a chance in hell to convince you to adopt the same attitude—for the duration of this trip anyway," she laughed and then her voice turned pleading. "Come on Bell. Let loose. You're not going to be single forever, live a little while you can. A little fun won't kill you."

I was all for fun, but I wasn't cut out for the hooking up world. Rose knew that, so I doubted she'd try too hard to get me to hop on to her "let loose" agenda with her. Though it probably meant I might have a hotel room to myself one of the nights we were here.

Hmm, that thought kind of sounded nice; a night to myself to curl up, relax and lay low. Plus, it might at least give me a chance to put a dent into my book I was unable to read on the flight. Being able to have some downtime during our busy schedule that was sure to fill the rest of the trip was not an unwelcomed thought.

Static on the intercom system interrupted my train of thought and saved me from an inevitable moment of temporary insanity where I would actually agree to Rosalie's plea.

"This is your captain speaking. I will be turning on the "fasten seatbelt light," as in a few minutes we will be begin our preparations for landing. The weather in New York City is clear and seventy-seven degrees. The local time is one seventeen in the afternoon. We are currently flying ahead of schedule folks. We are set to arrive about ten minutes ahead of our scheduled landing time, allowing a bit of extra time for those of you with connections, to check in for your next flight. It has been a pleasure flying for you; and for those of who are staying in New York, I hope you enjoy your stay. Thank you for flying with us today." There was a pause and then static rustling….."Flight attendants please prepare for landing."

"Ready or not…" Rose said with a smirk.

"Us or New York?" I returned her contagious grin.

"Both," she laughed.

**XXXXX**

As we rode in the taxi, the biggest impression New York City gave me was that it was absolutely massive. The buildings were crammed tightly next to each other; one in chaotic levels of heights; one block right after the next. And it was so _busy_. The streets were teeming with people along the buildings, spilling in and out—it reminded me of when I was a kid and Jake would turn over rocks to find swarms of bugs packed in underneath to try to gross Jess and me out. The people were just everywhere. I thought, several times, that the cab driver was going to run people over, during our drive from the airport to the hotel. People just kept walking across the street. They didn't stop when the lights changed. They just kept on going. The cabs pressed through the throngs of people, honking and pushing towards the pedestrians until they were past them. Then they did it all over again at the next intersection. It was definitely something to see.

We'd booked a room in a large chain hotel just off of Times Square. It was a nice hotel in the middle of everything, but it was nothing extravagant. With the hotel prices in New York City, we couldn't afford to shell out the money it took for a swanky hotel. Besides, we didn't plan to spend that much time at the hotel, other than to sleep anyway; so accommodations that had a five page long list of amenities was not a requisite.

Surprisingly, despite the rudeness and lack of courtesy that we'd seen over and over on the ride from the airport, the hotel staff was very pleasant. I wondered if the city had a Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde thing going on. That the people there were nice and friendly until it came to the streets, then the gloves were off. Since, I had only about an hour's worth of observation to go on I'd have to wait until the end of the trip to make a more educated ruling.

When we finally made it up to our room, I looked around the crisp, clean-looking space we'd be calling our "home away from home" for the duration of our stay. I surveyed the multi-hued, grey patterned carpet, the light colored bathroom, the light designed curtains, the dark wood table and chairs and the new-looking, flat-screen television that I knew Jake and Charlie would appreciate, as I walked into the room. I liked it. It was generically comforting. We'd lucked out, a decent place for far less than we could have spent.

Then, I laid eyes on the bed that I would be calling mine for the next week and we locked eyes. Never mind that beds don't have eyes—because I saw them nestled sleepily in the form of pillows that laid resting against the bed's dark, swooped headboard. The eyes, disguised as fluffy, soft pillows, looked back at me with a lazy, welcoming expression. I walked over to the bed, keeping eye-contact with its pillow-eyes and stood in front of it with longing. After my lack of sleep, the past several nights, due to getting ready for _The Trip _and the long flight, I wanted nothing more than to collapse on the plush, cozy, inviting bed to take a nap.

The bed smiled and opened its arms to me. It called to me. It talked to me. It begged me to curl up in it, telling me I'd find blissful dreams there. It promised happiness and heavenly sleep.

Oh no.

Not the bed too. I wondered if I had either lost my mind, or I had tapped into the unknown intelligence of inanimate objects…..essentially meaning, to the modern world, that I'd lost my mind. So I guessed it didn't matter which it was, the end verdict was the same; I was crazy.

Shit.

Well, I guess I'd always wondered as much. I had always viewed the world and my experiences in it, differently from others. I knew this and had accepted it long ago, but it still concerned me from time to time.

"Earth to Bella," Rosalie called snapping me out of my moment with the bed. "Stop daydreaming woman. We have to get moving. We're supposed to be there by four."

Rose had been able to score us tickets to "The Late Show" with Aro Volterra. She'd gone online to request tickets once we'd finally nailed down a certain date for _The Trip._ I had to say I was pretty excited about it. I'd never been in close proximity to someone famous and the idea was kind of exciting to me. Plus, it just seemed like a fun thing to do in New York City.

I nodded to Rose before petting the bed as if telling it that I fully expected to keep it to its promises later that night. Then I threw my bag on the foot of the bed and zipped it open.

Rose had insisted we go shopping before _The Trip_. I had resisted, pointing out that New York was like _the _shopping Mecca of the country—not to mention that shopping really wasn't my thing. Rose had rolled her eyes, impatiently telling me that we needed some nice, new outfits to wear before we had a chance to shop in NYC. She also insisted we should bring suitcases that were a good size larger than what we needed so we would have room for our shopping spoils for the way home. I had shaken my head, but wisely listened to her.

I peered into my case. It looked a bit sad in there, being only half full.

I looked at Rose, to take a cue from her, to see what she was going to change into—what did one wear to an evening talk show taping? I hadn't a clue. She was slipping on a simple but dressy blouse. It was a rich, bold red that slipped slightly off her shoulder. The deep color looked stunning with her light, golden blonde hair.

I sighed in discouragement. Did it really matter what I wore when I'd be standing next to her?

No. Not really. But for some reason I kept trying. Probably from Rose's encouragement—well, either that or I was just a masochist who loved to try to attain the impossible.

I looked back down at my clothes and began flipping through them. Hmmm. I really wasn't good at this.

Obviously.

I'd worn plaid without realizing it. The breadths and depths of fashion were quite far beyond me. Though Rose, bless her, continued to try.

I stared at the clothes. I'd not worn most of the items in there before. Not only was it a bit daunting to determine what to wear when I couldn't pull out a favorite article of clothing, but it also felt like I was looking at someone else's stuff. I was suddenly pining away for my comfy green hoodie. I sighed in longing. I knew I should have packed that.

Rose must have sensed my dilemma because she paused from her shoe debate and walked over to me as I stood, dumbfounded, in front of my open suitcase.

"Why don't you wear this one?" she said pulling out a light, rich blue blouse.

I pulled it on and turned to Rose in question.

Rose nodded enthusiastically—of course she liked it on me, she'd picked the damn thing out and told me I "had" to buy it. Then she shoved pants and shoes in my arms to put on with it.

**XXXXX**

Waiting to go into the taping of "The Late Show" felt kind of like trying to get into a club. We went to confirm, with an employee, that we were on the list and then were corralled into a queue to wait to be seated. I lightly rolled my eyes at Rosalie who was chatting with a moderately cute page about good places to go out at night in the city. The guy looked at her just like every single guy I'd known looked at Rose—James included. He seemed so enthused that she was paying attention to him that I was nearly surprised he hadn't started to drool all over himself. I shook my head, but I was thankful when she asked about good places to eat nearby because I hadn't eaten yet today and was painfully aware that it was lunchtime back home.

All the interns and pages were tightlipped about who the guests were. They just kept saying that it was going to be a great show. I wondered though if the workers even knew themselves.

As I watched the employees flitter around getting everyone situated and everything set for the show it seemed that all the female staff were almost…giddy. I didn't know if that meant they knew who the guests were and they were a bit beside themselves about it, or if they were just _really_ stoked about their jobs.

Or maybe they were all fed some sort of happy pill at the beginning of their shift.

Uppers; job perk.

I giggled.

As we were led to our seats I noticed the place was much larger than what they utilized. There was a lower and upper level and only the closest rows of the upper level were filled. The place was frigidly cold making me wish I'd known to wear something warmer. The seating area was dimly lit and darkly decorated, while the stage and band area were drastically opposite, draped in such intense lighting the areas glowed.

When everyone was seated, a severe-looking, strict woman named Jane, with tightly secured white-blonde hair, instructed the audience on rules and how they had to be obeyed or we would be removed from the theater immediately. She warned us harshly that there were _no _second chances.

Then after the light little "pep talk" from Jane, other staff members had us practice cheering and laughing.

_Yeah, we all felt like laughing after that "bubbly" lecture Jane had given_. I thought sarcastically.

I felt completely idiotic wishing we would have had time for a drink or two before we arrived to stifle my self-consciousness of acting stupid cheering and forcing laughs.

First a comedian came out. I was surprised, but now thinking about it I shouldn't have been. It made sense to get us laughing before the interviews started–-they needed us to be in a laughing mood for the taping, but I hadn't expected a comedy show too. Personally, I thought the guy was a bit crude and smarmy; and his jokes really weren't that great. He relied too heavily on the shock factor and it came off as just plain gross.

I was starting to feel disappointed, but the show's band came out and played a few songs for us. They were great and very entertaining. They definitely knew how to win over the crowd. I thought they should ditch the bad comedian and have the band members play and joke around with the audience because they were definitely more entertaining.

Finally, Aro Volterra, the host of "The Late Show" walked out on stage and greeted the crowd, over the music, while the cameras zoomed in on him to start the show.

"We have a fabulous show for you tonight," Aro grinned to the audience, as the band quieted.

Aro was a very confusing character to watch in person. He looked creepy with his slick, black hair and light-colored eyes that had a hazy look to them. Despite his creepy appearance, there was something about him that was comforting at the same time. As he spoke, I decided it was his voice that was comforting, conflicting with his really creepy looks. I was surprised how overwhelmingly eerie he was in person, when at home, watching on television, he'd never given me heebie-jeebies.

I stifled a giggle when Rose made a face and shuddered. Apparently, Aro gave her the same feeling.

"Tonight," Aro continued, "we have actor, Anthony Cullen here with us," my stomach tightened and leaped to my throat with excitement as the women in the audience erupted loudly. I looked over at Rose and mouthed, "Holy crow!" as a huge smile swept involuntarily across my face. I could feel my eyes were hugely wide and if I was being honest, I kind of felt like screaming like a school girl.

Anthony Cullen. Holy shit!

Aro continued to talk and joke with the audience, as Rosalie struggled to hold back her laughter at me—not to spare me embarrassment, but to not get us kicked out, as was promised by Jane, who even frightened Rose. I realized in that moment, I may or may not have bounced in my seat a little bit with the wave of excitement that washed through me. Her laughter caused me to blush fiercely, which only made her laugh more.

I saw Jane standing to the side of the seating area, eyeing Rose with a look that felt like it could have shot pain through a person, as if daring Rosalie to make the smallest peep. Jane looked like a predator waiting to swoop in, as she eyed Rose who's body shook silently with laughter as she tried to recover from her amusement with me. Thankfully, Rose was able to prevent an audible laugh because the woman looked like she was almost hoping for the chance to toss Rosalie out of the studio.

I didn't understand what Rose thought was so funny. She knew I liked his movies and really liked to look at him—but really, who didn't? Okay, so it might have had something to do with the fact that I was a bit giddy that I was going to get to see Anthony Cullen in person. I'd always felt some kind of _draw_ to him, beyond thinking he was probably the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen.

Of course, it didn't help that Rose had never really understood the thing I had for Anthony Cullen. I remembered how she had crinkled her nose, asking if I was joking when I'd admitted my lust for him. She had shrugged her shoulders and said she just didn't see it. She'd always told me that I could have him because she'd just want him to introduce her to his brother.

That was fine with me because let's face it, in the imaginary world where Rose and I would meet Anthony Cullen, if Rose wanted him too, I'd not have stood a chance in hell with him.

_Like Rose not being interested in Anthony Cullen actually gave you a chance in hell, even if you did meet him, Bella. Ha!_

Great, even my subconscious was laughing at me.

_Hey! I said "imaginary" world, didn't I? _I defended hotly. Then I realized that I was not only talking to myself, I was arguing with myself. I was sorely relieved that the argument happened completely in my head where no one had heard my moment of questioned sanity.

Aro was done talking. The band was playing for us during a commercial break. A commercial break? Wasn't this show taped? Weird.

"I'm sorry," Rosalie said still breathing a laugh, not really sounding sorry at all, as the band played. "I shouldn't laugh at you. It's kind of cute how you're turning all teenager-like about seeing him. I don't think I've ever seen you act this way about a guy before."

"I am _not_ turning teenager-like," I defended petulantly. "Did I squeal?"

Crap. Wait. Did I squeal? I didn't think I did. No. I was pretty sure I hadn't. Oh, thank God for that.

"Have I started crying?" I asked lightening my tone. "Have I tried running backstage to attack him? No. Thank you very much."

"No," Rose smirked. "But I bet you thought about it."

I stuck out the tip of my tongue at her, being unable to conjure a witty reply.

"I better call Jane over here," Rose laughed. "Sticking out your tongue is the first symptom of teenager regression. Next, you'll let out a squeal, and then before anyone can stop you, you'll be charging the stage."

I flashed her the most annoyed, pissed off look I could and replied smartly, "How much do you want to bet his brother is back stage keeping him company?"

I watched Rose's entire body visibly perk up. Her eyes snapped to the stage before she could stop herself from doing so.

"Now who's the one in danger of charging the stage?" I teased, grinning hugely now that the ridicule wasn't pointed at me for the moment.

"Oh shut the fuck up," Rose snapped, but then a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

I giggled at her.

Then our attention was being called to the stage as Aro re-entered and sat down behind his desk. We were cued to clap and cheer as the music faded. Then Aro started to speak over the clapping.

"Please welcome our first guest, actor Anthony Cullen!" Aro called excitedly as the clapping faded and then picked up to a roar.

As Anthony Cullen came into view from behind the stage, it was almost as if he sauntered out in slow motion. The first thing I saw was the profile of his face that showcased his strong, faint-inducing, square jaw that drew a line up and back. It drew my eyes to his neck that was the home to the sexiest Adams Apple I'd ever seen in my life.

What? A sexy Adams Apple?

Yes. Holy hell, _yes_.

Then as he rounded the divider, his head dipped down, hiding his face from view, but the action showed off his riot of bronze-brown hair that lay in a disheveled disarray atop his head. As he walked out dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, he pushed his hand through his hair as if he could read my mind, knowing that it would make my breathing stutter.

"You might want to close your mouth Bell. I'm sure drooling isn't one of his turn-ons," Rose whispered breathing a laugh.

It was then I realized that while the rest of the audience was clapping and cheering, I'd sat there with my mouth open agape as I took him in.

I shook my head to dispel the daze and began to clap with the rest of the audience. Anthony looked up, smiled and waved to the audience before shaking hands with Aro and sitting down in the guest chair nearest to Aro's desk.

"Anthony! So good to see you again my friend! How are you?"

"Good. Good," he smiled wide but shyly, nodding his head.

"What are you going to do while you're here in New York?" Aro prompted making a bit of small talk. "Anything planned?"

"Wow. Um. I don't know," Anthony said seeming to have been stumped by this question as he raked his hand through his hair and cleared his throat. "I don't know what I'm going to do while I'm here, actually, except say hello to my brother who's wrapping up a film here in the city right now."

"That's right!" Aro clasped his hands seemingly overly excited about that simple tidbit of information. "Emmett is…"

Just then, someone let out her own little shout-out for Emmett… or Anthony, or Anthony and Emmett both being in the city at the same time as they were, or something that made her overwhelmingly happy that she just couldn't contain herself from yelling out. I started. The scream was so near me I actually thought it was Rose at first because it sounded like it was right in my ear.

No sooner did Anthony let out a laugh of amusement, at the fan's enthusiasm for interrupting them, than Jane and her army of security swooped in to usher the girl out of the audience.

I looked away from the girl being removed from the studio, over to Anthony who looked surprised by the reaction of the show's security, and then to Aro. He sat looking at the audience member seeming amused at her outburst as she was being ordered to leave and escorted out. But, something told me that he was behind the strict policy. I had gotten the feeling Aro did not like to be interrupted.

Aro took the opportunity to throw out a bad joke to the crowd, during the distraction, to which they forced a laugh from cue, probably all now worried about making a wrong move resulting in them being removed as well.

I drew my eyes away from the creeptastic Aro and back over to the fucktastic Anthony Cullen, more than happy to have an opportunity and an excuse to stare at him.

I watched as Anthony looked at Aro questioningly and then back over to the exiting figures, obviously confused by the whole scene that had resulted from a simple shout-out. He began to turn his face back towards Aro when his stunningly green eyes, slipped down from the unfortunate person exiled from the room, and met mine. I felt a shivering jolt of want race through my entire body and I couldn't look away. His head jerked with a sudden mid-movement redirection as he snapped it back and directly faced me. Anthony's eyes locked with mine, causing a strange warm, electric sensation to intensely dance through my entire body.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4 Sparks and Dessert

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**Chapter 4: Sparks and Dessert**

An amazing warmth spread through my body, despite the frigidity of the studio. My whole body felt like it was burning. I knew my cheeks had to be glowing from embarrassment, but I was too transfixed on Anthony Cullen to be able to look away or care about anything else at that moment.

As I stared at him and he back at me, I felt the world stand still. Everything else melted away, like the sound of the world had a volume switch and someone had turned it down to a dull muffle. My vision became singular—it was just him, me and nothing else. Fuzzy, grey nothingness swirled lazily around in my head—effectively blocking out everything but Anthony Cullen. As soon as my eyes locked with his piercing green eyes, nothing else existed.

It sounded corny and cliché, but there it was; Anthony Cullen and I had a moment.

I knew how preposterous the idea it was, but yet it felt like his eyes were boring into mine. Anthony was looking so intensely at me, that I felt like I was bearing my soul to him. I felt naked and exposed, but oddly enough, there was no corresponding wave of self-consciousness. I _liked_ it. It felt wonderful and I could feel myself become instantly addicted to it—to him. I wanted more of _that_—whatever "that" was, that he was doing to me.

In that moment it felt like my sister, Jess, had actually not been spouting crap when she'd told me she had heard that Anthony Cullen could actually make a woman spontaneously ovulate, with just one look. I'd laughed at her at the time, but being ensnared in his eyes at that moment, I could see where the rumor that his eyes held inexplicable powers when they locked with yours was started.

And oh God what a look.

The jolt of electricity that was coursing through me, as Anthony's blazing green eyes continued to lock with mine, left me reeling. I felt myself do an involuntary keegle. Dear God, my whole body was standing at attention for this man from just one look. My mind started to blissfully wonder what a touch from him would do to me. My teeth dragged across my lip as I felt the warmth in my body centralize and my stomach tighten in want.

"Anthony?" Aro's voice intruded, dispelling our moment. Anthony pulled his eyes away from me and over to Aro, but it seemed like he was reluctant to do so.

After his eyes left mine, I let out a shaky breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding, and released my lip I had held hostage with my teeth.

Holy crow, what did that man just do to me?

I felt changed somehow. Actually, I felt sort of empty not having his eyes filling me with warmth and want. I could feel my body rioting in panic; desperately searching for whatever that was, to have it again. I was a desperate addict, after just one hit and even after only a moment without my drug, I was going through withdrawal.

I needed that again.

I chanted silently for him to look back up at me—pleading for a fix.

Aro laughed hardily. "That girl catch your eye my friend?"

My face flushed deeper, anticipating Aro calling us out and all eyes shifting on me.

"I have to say that if screaming out for you will catch your attention like that, you're going to go deaf by the end of tonight," Aro joked, assuming Anthony's distraction was from the disruptive audience member calling a shout-out for him. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

Anthony blinked his eyes a few times and lightly shook his head before turning his face fully towards Aro. He smiled a very easy smile, sunk back into his chair, pulling his left ankle on top of his right knee and then leaned toward Aro reengaging with the interview.

"Oh no," Anthony laughed through a long breath, before he shyly looked down, as he cleared his throat and then reached up with his right hand to scratch his stubble-covered left cheek with his thumb.

God that was sexy.

"Just a bit of jetlag catching up to me, I guess. I checked out there for a minute. Sorry about that." He laughed again still sounding a bit embarrassed.

I felt the elation quickly drain from me, causing my face to fall, as doubt flooded in.

Could it really be possible, that what I thought was a life-altering and near-orgasmic experience, was really just someone zoning out in my general direction? Was my moment completely one-sided?

No. I wasn't so delusional that I'd only _thought_ I'd felt all that from his eyes locking into mine… that his eyes never even locked with mine in the first place… that… I couldn't have… I… Oh God. Anthony Cullen's presence _had_ turned me into a crazed teenager, like Rose had just been teasing me about. I was nothing more than an overly fanatical, fourteen year old fan-girl who'd thought that it was actually _possible_ for her to wind up romantically involved with some unattainable actor like Anthony Cullen.

I felt like someone had just untied my happy balloon and let out all the air. My body slumped forward from the feeling.

Of course it was all in my head. Anthony Cullen was… well, _Anthony Cullen_. He was beautiful and funny, and probably smart and great at everything. He had an amazing job, hung out with amazing people, went amazing places, did amazing things, and I was just plain, small-town Bella Swan with plain brown hair and matching plain brown eyes. I had no distinguishing qualities. Well, unless I counted my unnaturally pale skin and tendency to blush tomato red over a drop of a hat. I'd really done nothing of consequence in my life. I'd never really gone anywhere awe-inspiring or done anything extraordinary.

My dejected thinking, accompanied by my drug addiction-like withdrawal, twisted together, dragging me down, spiraling me quickly towards an unpleasant depression. I felt slightly dizzy and nauseous with the sudden shift of polar emotions.

My emotional nosedive into misery was interrupted by Rosalie nudging my arm.

I looked up to see Rose turning her head away from me, looking over her shoulder at Jane, confirming her attention was elsewhere. I looked up with her and saw Jane was reviewing a clipboard with a man that looked like he could have been her twin. Once confirming we weren't being watched, Rose whipped her head back to me, her blue eyes were wide with excitement and a shocked, incredulous grin spread across her face. Then she flashed me a demanding look that asked, "What the hell was that?"

I pushed my eyebrows together in confusion and shook my head, not understanding what she was referring to. My moment with Anthony Cullen had been all in my head—imagined just like my conversation with my hotel bed—so I had definitely missed something that had happened while I was swimming in my delusional state.

Continuing our conversation in mime, so we weren't on the receiving end of the Wrath of Jane, Rose gave me a withering look, as if it were obvious what she was referring to. She rolled her eyes, sighed and very looked significantly at Anthony Cullen, on the stage conversing with Aro Volterra, and then back at me as in explanation.

Wait. What?

My delusional moment, with the sexiest man I'd ever laid eyes on, might _not_ have just been completely a product of my imagination? Holy crow!

I couldn't help but glance quickly over to Anthony who was still chatting with Aro. I felt my whole body perk back up like an excited puppy who'd just heard the word "treat."

Despite my newest internal bi-polar mood swing, I looked back at Rose, casually shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, giving her a look that told her I had no idea what she was talking about.

Rose pressed her lips together, petulantly holding back her inquisition. She opened her mouth and then closed it again before she shook her head at me in annoyance and frustration, being unable to speak to me. Then she sighed and faced back towards the stage, watching Aro and Anthony continue with the interview. She knew we had to be passive bystanders until they cued us otherwise, so her inquisition would have to wait because if Rose opened her mouth she'd be Jane's next meal. She was going to have to wait for a commercial break to drill me on what she thought she saw. What I hoped she saw. What I wanted so much to be not just something I made up in my head.

I chanced a glance up at where Jane had stood where I'd seen her last with "Twin Boy." But he had left and she was back at her post, glaring at me with narrowed eyes. I had the feeling that for some reason, that woman wanted us gone.

What was her problem, to make her so hateful towards us? Who sucked the joy out of her?

I straightened up in my chair and faced the stage to avoid her icy glare.

"Oh no! I don't do stunts anymore!"

"Any more?" Aro asked curiously.

"Well, I tried once. That was all it took for me to learn."

Aro and the audience laughed.

"What happened?" Aro asked sounding absolutely enthralled.

"It was one of my first big films and Emmett and I were working together. Emmett was doing most of his own stunts himself, so I thought, if Emmett could do his own stunts, then I could too," Anthony rolled into his story animatedly. Aro continued to listen with rapt attention, while the audience laughed along enjoying the tale. "Everyone advised against it. Emmett tried to talk me out of it. But I was all, 'I can do this. I don't need a stuntman. I can handle this little thing, no problem. If my brother can do this, so can I.'" Anthony stopped to laugh at himself, which was infectious and people in the audience started to giggle. "Of course it all went horribly wrong." he continued with a breathtaking smile on his face.

Anthony ran his hand through his hair and I swear I heard a collective sigh from all the women in the studio.

"I ended up bruised and cut. The worst being a bad gash on my face," he continued.

The audience let out a light, collective gasp.

"The thing wouldn't stop bleeding. Emmett was no help at all. He just stood there and laughed his ass off, while everyone else went chaotic—some were concerned, others were completely pissed off at me for being stupid and getting hurt. Marcus, started lecturing me about getting injured and that we should have used a stuntman as I was being carted off to get stitches." Anthony then looked up directly at Aro and exclaimed, "_He_ had agreed to me doing the stunt!" He paused breathing a laugh and continued. "Though my saving grace was that in my remaining scenes I was supposed to look beaten up anyway, so it ended up okay."

"So, no more stunt work for you," Aro ascertained with a smile.

"God, no! One experience like that was enough to put my ego back into place where it belonged on that subject. Emmett can go ahead and do all the stunts he wants, I'm sitting those out—the stuntmen who know what they're doing can have at it. If it's not something I know for certain how to do—like walking or talking—I'm more than happy to let someone else handle it."

"Well, my friend, I'm glad to hear that! And obviously you ended up all right," exclaimed Aro.

Anthony laughed and nodded.

Aro turned to the camera, and announced, "We'll be right back with Anthony Cullen who will tell us about his latest film that has hopefully not been such a dangerous endeavor."

The band started up and the audience was prompted to clap and cheer, which they did enthusiastically.

I stared at Anthony, hoping that he would look back up at me, to prove to me that I wasn't making the moment up in my head, but Aro was keeping his attention, chatting animatedly while the band played.

The moment the show's producer announced that we were "at a commercial", Rose demanded my attention by grabbing my arm and putting her face into mine.

"Holy shit, Bell. What the hell _was _that?" Rose asked animatedly while grabbing my arm.

"I… I don't know…" I stammered, making it sound like a question as I shook my head.

Rose rolled her head slightly with her eyes and sighed. She glanced up at the stage and let out a laugh. "He's staring at you again," she grinned.

My head whipped to the stage so fast I was in danger of suffering from whiplash.

I gasped when our eyes met again. Light flutters spread deep inside me, I felt myself clench a kegel and immediately stand at attention. I was completely turned on and ready for him. Just like that. Thankfully I was too enamored by him to care about how pathetic I was for how he affected me.

Anthony's eyes locked with mine for a beat before he shifted in his chair and tore his eyes away. He turned his eyes to the band, staring studiously at them as they played. It was if he was determined to not look at me again. I watched him as he shifted his body in his seat, looking completely uncomfortable while he squirmed repeatedly.

Wait.

He seemed totally freaked out. A flash of hurt, laced with doubt, rolled through me. Suddenly I was convinced I'd just been making stuff up in my head again.

Questions started racing through my mind. Was I delusional? Was I "that" woman? The kind who stared creepily at him; making him unbearably uncomfortable; making him want to run far, far away?

Ugh, God. I was.

My hands slid up to my face in mortification, making a steeple over the bridge of my nose. I was a "crazy" that creeped him out with my overt ogling.

Why did that bother me so much?

Rose was tugging on my arm again, demanding my attention. "Bell. Why do you suddenly look like you were just told someone died?" She whispered loudly over the band playing, putting her face right up to mine. "Anthony Cullen, the man you've had this _thing_ for since the moment you first laid eyes on him, totally and quite _thoroughly _eye-fucked you a few minutes ago! I would have thought you would be over the moon!"

What? No. What?

"No," I breathed, incredulously. I'd just seen how uncomfortable I'd made him.

"Uh, _yes_," Rosalie insisted.

My eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, come _on_! Little Miss Innocent, even you have to realize when you're being eye-fucked, especially that hard. That, and the fact that you were doing it to him every bit as much. You two looked like you wanted to jump each other." Rose let out a laugh and started to tease. "I almost thought I was watching one of those cartoons where the wolf's eyes shoot out of its head, his tongue lolls out to the side of his mouth and he starts panting. Both of you looked just like that—and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Geezus! I was just waiting for the whistling and the 'ah-ooo-gah!' sound effect," Rose laughed at herself. "Either that or the two of you to start going at it on the stage, in front of everyone."

"Oh come on, it wasn't like that."

"Pretty damn close," she laughed grinning hugely. "Probably worse. It was like eye-fuck porn between the two of you." She teased. "I've never seen you like before, Bell. Ever."

I took this in, trying to wrap my mind around what Rosalie had said because she didn't embellish, she told things like they were.

My breathing picked up and I looked back over to where Anthony was sitting. I caught him quickly turning his head back to the band—not quite quick enough because his eyes had met mine for a split second—sending a shiver through me. My body practically moaned in the satisfaction, getting another hit of the drug that was Anthony Cullen. He was the most dangerous drug there was—I had gotten instantly and desperately hooked. The moment he turned away from me, I craved more.

But I focused on the fact that he had been watching me. I'd caught him looking at me. Maybe Rose was right. Maybe I wasn't a creepy crazy that freaked him out after all.

I looked back at Rose who also had seen it and gave me a smug; "I told you so," smirk.

My chest expended with flutters of incredulous excitement.

The band finished the song and began playing another as we were being prompted to applaud and cheer.

"Welcome back! We're talking with Anthony Cullen," Aro said in his excited tone he always used. "So Anthony, you have a new movie coming out soon?"

Anthony smiled an easy, comfortable smile. All discomfort gone, as he looked at Aro.

"Yes," he said. "Next month. It's called _Love of Ire_. And thankfully I didn't have any botched stunt attempts during the filming of this movie," Anthony smiled. Aro and the audience laughed, and Anthony joined in.

"What's it about, my friend?"

"It's about a couple of people who wind up entering into a volatile relationship with one another. Their relationship blurs the lines of love and hate, but they succeed together, where they've always faltered separately."

"I actually saw this the other day," Aro admitted. "And wow, my friend, I was completely blown away. It is dark and seductive, and I was shocked with where the story turned. I thought it was fantastic. You were absolutely wonderful in it. Amazing!"

"Well, thank you. Yeah, it's a pretty intense film."

"It is," Aro agreed. "Well, you brought a clip here to show us, right? Did you want to tell us about the scene we're about to see?"

"Yeah, I believe that this is the scene where my character, Will, and Maria face off for the first time." Anthony says simply.

"Ah yes," Aro smirks. Huh, he must have liked this scene.

Anthony looked down at his lap while the scene started to play on all the monitors around the stage. I smiled with the realization that it was so he didn't have to watch himself.

I heard the clip playing; a heated argument between Anthony Cullen's character and a woman that sounded to me like it could have been Tanya Denali. But I didn't look to confirm if I was right, instead I watched Anthony, trying to will him to look up at me so I could make up my own mind if Rose was right or not. God, I felt like a desperate heroin addict—frantic for my next hit of drug. Anthony continued to be fascinated with his hands, not able to watch a clip of himself on the monitors, which I found kind of adorable.

The monitors went black indicating the end of the scene and the audience, who'd been sitting in awe, erupted into applause. Anthony looked up and I thought his eyes flicked over to me for the briefest of seconds before he turned to Aro.

Pathetically, I spent the remainder of the show hoping for Anthony Cullen to look back up at me again. I was rewarded several times with quick glances, giving me small hits of whatever addictive substance emanated from his gaze. Each glance, both momentarily satisfied the ache for more, as well as making me even more hopelessly addicted.

The second guest was a chef who made us positively starving with amazing-smelling food we didn't get to eat—and Anthony caused a flash of desire to roll through my body with the sound of his moan when tasted the food. Before I knew it, the taping was over.

"I'm positively starving," I admitted to Rose when we stepped out of the studio. The smell of the crisp early evening air met my nose as we walked out onto the sidewalk. We headed directly toward one of the places to eat that the page had told Rose about before the show; navigating through the endless throngs of people spewing from every crevice of the city.

"Me too. Luckily that guy I was talking to before the show recommended a place with great food that is just around the corner," she said pulling out her phone from her purse to turn the ringer back on and check for any missed calls or texts. "You know, I'm a little disappointed—and actually really surprised—that one of those interns didn't grab you on your way out to cart you back stage to be Anthony's toy for the evening." She smirked over at me.

I flashed Rosalie a sarcastic look.

"Don't tell me you still doubt it. The guy kept looking at you through the entire show."

"Yeah, maybe he noticed me. Don't get me wrong, my ego completely got a boost with that," even if it was probably just because I looked just like someone he knew I added to myself. "But really what did you expect to happen?"

"That Anthony Cullen would have asked for you to go back there so he could have his way with you—like I said. You know, the way his eyes did at the beginning of the show." She smirked.

"It just seems a bit too 'Crazed-Teenager-Fan-Fantasy' to think that would actually happen."

Rose snorted. "Come on, I had even gotten a little hot and bothered just from the energy you two were giving off with that first exchange. Besides, I figured for sure he'd want to meet the woman who gave him an instant hard-on, like you did for him at the beginning of the show."

"Oh come on," I dismissed figuring she was just teasing me.

"Uh, Bella, why do _you_ think he was squirming and fidgeting up there?"

"Crazy woman in the audience drooling and ogling at him so hard it creeped him out?" I said, half teasing, half still unsure if that wasn't what it was.

"Ha! Hardly."

I smiled and laughed once. I still wasn't completely convinced. And even if she was right, what did it matter? I would never see him again in my life. So, I decided, why not live in the fantasy that he did "eye-fuck" me, as Rose called it? I mean, it was a near-orgasmic look that I still swear caused spontaneous ovulation. I might as well enjoy the memory of the best "eye-fuck" I'd ever had. Bar none.

We almost walked completely by the pub—partially because we were too busy in our own world with our conversation and partially because it wasn't well marked. They must have relied on local word-of-mouth with such poor street-side advertising to pull the random person off the street.

The place was bigger than I figured it would be from the outside. There seemed to be a natural, pine-log theme throughout; tables, chairs, booths, walls. Each piece of wood though, was very polished and shined. It was light, open, looked clean, and the smell of the food was nothing short of fantastic. My stomach rumbled in anticipation.

Even though our stomachs were telling us we were late for lunch—still being on west coast time—here it was early for dinner, so while most of the tables were full, we were able to get a table right away without issue.

We were handed menus and asked for our drink orders. We both ordered a beer—it seemed like the right drink for the setting. Plus, while it was an astronomical cost, it was still less than a glass of wine or a hard drink.

"That page guy I was talking to said that this was one of the places that was a local favorite," she had said when the server walked away to get our drinks. "He said it's partially because it's relatively unknown by tourists, plus he said the burgers are amazing."

"Really?" I asked drawing my eyes to the burger section of the menu.

"And," she leaned in whispering conspiratorially, "he said that a lot of times after tapings, the guests of the show will come here for a bite to eat. So…." Rose trailed with a mischievous smile.

"Hoping Emmett Cullen will meet his brother here?" I said turning the subject to her.

"Mmmmm. I had meant to suggest that Anthony might come in and give you round two, but now I'm hoping Emmett Cullen will have a craving for a burger."

I cursed looking down at my phone.

"What?"

"My mom," I groaned. That was all the explanation that was needed for Rose to understand. I had numerous missed calls, voicemails and text messages from her—the last one threatened to make Jake and Charlie coordinate with the New York City police department to begin performing an emergency search and rescue. Then a couple of texts from Jake and a call from Forks police station—Mom had Dad calling me from work. I even had a text from Jessica… no, that was just a picture text of her and Mike's new vehicles.

I sighed and sent a text to my mom

_**Calm down Mom. I'm answering you now. We're fine and having a good time. - B**_

My mom's reply came quickly:

_**Check your phone more often! Glad you're okay. XOXO**_

Almost immediately after the last text from Renee, another one buzzed in from her:

_**Remember to be safe and use condoms!**_

I shook my head at my mother and sighed in relief that a text to her was enough to sooth her this time.

Our beers arrived and the server took our food orders.

Rosalie had picked up her phone and was talking to Henry, so I texted Jake and Charlie quick to tell them I was fine and had let Mom know. Jake was quick to reply.

_**Look at that, you're alive. Just so you know, you won't be alive for long after you get home though. Not for what I had to put up with today with Mom.**_

_**Come on Chief. You know I'm well worth the trouble. Sorry about Mom. I'll get you something cool to make up for it. Any requests?**_

_**Hmm. I'll have to think about that one. I'll get back to you.**_

I smiled at my brother's text and went to send one to Jessica. For her, I had a little bit of fun in mind. First I had to make sure to reply to her picture text of the cars she and Mike got, or she'd ignore whatever I had to say and bring that up.

_**I like the new cars. Which is yours?**_

I grinned when she replied right away.

_**Mine is the red one. I love it! Mike's is the grey one. I can't wait for you to see them. How's NYC? Mom will be glad someone heard from you. Thanks for sending her into a tizzy. :(**_

_**Don't worry, I just texted her. Sorry for the family emergency, I was at The Late Show taping. You'll never guess who was a guest on the show… :)**_

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, with anticipation of Jessica's reaction, when I told her that I had seen Anthony Cullen in person. Jessica had it hard core for Anthony Cullen. Rosalie teased me for the "thing" I had for him, but we both knew that Jessica was practically obsessed. Naturally, Mike hated the guy, even though he'd never met Anthony and knew nothing about. It was the fact that Jessica openly told Mike that Anthony Cullen was at the top of her "List." You know the list of people that if given the chance, would be your "gimme." The person that you would get a free pass from your spouse should you ever get the chance to sleep with them. The idea was that it was someone you didn't know and was so far out of your range of probability that it would never happen. Basically, it was a relatively harmless fantasy list. But, for whatever reason Anthony Cullen got under Mike's skin. I was pretty sure there was an interesting story behind the exact reason for Mike's hate, but those specifics had never been shared with me—though I was sure the fact that Jess had his picture plastered everywhere, was a contributing factor.

_**Well are you going to tell me or just leave me in suspense?**_

I smiled deviously, having more fun with this than I probably should have at my sister's cost, but I couldn't resist.

_**Anthony Cullen. I was in the same room as THE Anthony Cullen. Jealous? :D**_

_**Holy #$&*$%! OMG! I hate you! Anthony FREAKING Cullen?! Was he every bit as hot in person? Please tell me no. No, tell me yes. No… ugh! Just TELL ME!**_

I could just imagine the worked up state she was in. This was too much fun. I replied to her honestly.

_**Hotter. DEFINITELY hotter.**_

_**You should have taken me to NYC with you so I could have seen him too. I hate you.**_

_**No, you don't hate me.**_

_**Okay I won't hate you if you send me a picture! If you love me at all, you would have taken a picture to share with your favorite sister.**_

_**Sorry. No picture. It was against the rules to take pics. I would have gotten thrown out.**_

_**It would have been worth getting kicked out for. I kind of do hate you for not getting me a picture. Fine. Describe him. In DETAIL.**_

I waited a couple minutes. When Rose was off the phone I told her what I was up to. I handed her my phone to show her the thread of text messages back and forth.

"I _have_ rubbed off on you after all," Rose smirked with satisfaction at my tormenting my sister as she grabbed the phone from me. "Why did Jess and Mike both get new vehicles?" she asked seeing the picture text from Jess.

"The twins." Obviously.

"What _twins_?"

"She didn't text, call _and_ e-mail you?"

"No!"

"Scroll up!" I said directing her to the text I'd gotten from Jess announcing her news. "Apparently, Jess is not just pregnant. She's pregnant with _twins_." I explained before Rose had time to reach the text I was telling her to look at.

"Oh my fucking God! No way. Help us all," Rose said taking a pull of her beer. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew." I shrugged. "I figured Jess sent the text to everyone and their brother. Besides, I saw the text right when I woke up this morning. I was too distracted with looking forward to _this_," I said gesturing around us, "to remember to bring it up, I guess."

"I wonder what the newspaper announcement will read _this _time," Rosalie mused.

My phone buzzed with another incoming text, as I laughed in agreement. Rose handed the phone back to me. It was from Jessica.

_**You better be writing a damn descriptive text for as long as this is taking… :(**_

I laughed, reading the text aloud to Rose who laughed with me before I replied to her.

_**His hair was copper brown, wild and unruly. His face was covered with a layer of scruff. He wore a black, cotton shirt and a pair of stone washed jeans. And I sat in the same room as him. For an entire hour.**_

_**That's it? That's all I get? More detail!**_

"Tell her about the _eye-fuck_, Bell," Rose teased as she took a drink of her beer. "She'll really hate you for that."

"Maybe after we get home. I can't give her everything at once," I pointed out deviously.

_**You'll have to watch the show when it airs on Friday for more. Just remember that I was there when you watch it. :)**_

_**Ugh. Definitely hate you.**_

I smiled and put my phone away.

The page had been right. The food was great—every bit as good as it smelled when we walked in. Nothing fancy, but it was delicious and it had a great bar with a good variety of everything. Not that Rose and I were venturing past a reliable beer standby. Maybe if we were hard-pressed to think of a place to go eat while we were here, we could hop back over to this place. Besides being good, it was really close to the hotel. It would be a good fallback.

After we finished our food and I sat sucking down my third beer, I was thinking that I wasn't going to be able to stay up for more than another five minutes, with the alcohol swimming in my system making me sleepy. I very much hoped that Rose felt the same and that I wouldn't be a Debbie Downer for being on vacation in New York City and opting to head to bed early.

I looked up, about to ask Rose if she was set on going out somewhere tonight or if I could sink into my talking bed, when something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye and I looked over. My mouth dropped. A hugely built, tall, gorgeous man with dark brown, wavy hair and a freshly clean shave surrounding an easygoing smirk sauntered into the pub walking towards us.

_Holy crow, Rose is going to freak out! Hell, I'm kind of freaking out._

"Uh, Rose?" I whispered looking behind her as he approached.

"Yeah?" she said turning her attention away from her purse, where she was fishing out a credit card, to me.

"You _might_ want to look at this," I said not quite believing what I was seeing.

Rose turned just as Emmett Cullen's eyes scanned in our direction. He looked at Rose appraising her appreciatively. He raised an eyebrow, smirked and then winked at her before turning by our table to head into the back of the restaurant. Rose unabashedly checked out his ass as he walked away from us. It was then I noticed that there were a hand-full of people already gathered back there at a table, in a separate area. Emmett shook hands or hugged the people in the room before disappearing to the side of the table that was out of view, behind the partition.

I looked back at Rose who looked a little flustered and was… _blushing?_ Neither reaction was typical of my friend. Who was this woman sitting across from me and what had she done with my friend, Rose?

"Looks like hoping to see him did the trick. Emmett Cullen, in the flesh," I mused, then turned my voice sultry teasing her, "Was it every bit as good as you dreamed it would be?"

"Hell yeah, I am thanking the gods above right now. The only thing that would have made that better is if he would have had his shirt off," Rose said as she moved in her seat trying to see around the partition that Emmett Cullen had disappeared behind. "Holy, shit." She breathed.

I laughed at the affect he'd had on her because it was so outside of the Rosalie norm.

I pulled a swig of beer into my mouth just as I looked up and saw a guy walking into the pub, who looked almost lanky after just seeing the sheer size of Emmett Cullen. He had a leonine way about him with the way he walked it was kind of a rock star look—lean and built. It took me about two seconds to process the chaotic mess of bronze-brown hair and perfect, chiseled, square jaw covered with a short layer of brown stubble that belonged to Anthony Cullen—about the same time as it took me to pull the beer from my mouth to my throat, to swallow it.

Apparently my body's involuntary reaction to seeing Anthony Cullen again in this lifetime was to gasp in disbelief. Because that is what my body did, causing me to choke on the beer I was in the middle of swallowing.

I choked quietly the first two coughs and force myself to swallow the remaining beer that had not gone down my throat so I didn't spray it everywhere, causing a huge scene. When my mouth was free of additional liquid, I gasped in a breath of air and coughed and choked loudly over and over as my body attempted to rid the liquid that had went the wrong way down.

I could feel my cheeks and ears burn, partially from the coughing fit, but mostly from utter embarrassment because most of the people in the place had turned to stare at me. I prayed to the gods that Anthony Cullen had ignored the idiot who in twenty-some-odd years of life, still hadn't figured out the air goes in one tube and the food and beverages go into another because the body isn't happy if you mix them up.

Rose started laughing at my expense as I tried to calm the coughing, dipping my head down in attempt to hide myself. I nearly had the coughing under control when I noticed the server had stepped up to the table.

"You alright?" the man asked in a voice like deep, seductive velvet.

That was _not_ the server.

I looked up to find a now-familiar pair of piercing green eyes, meet mine. My thought process instantly scrambled, as my embarrassment twisted with a flash of want that raced through my system.

Holy crow! It was Anthony Cullen! Talking to me…. as I choked on something so simple as a mouthful of beer. If I wasn't so mortified, I would have been beside myself excited.

I stifled a couple more coughs while trying to force my body to just deal with beer in my lungs. I tried to remember how to speak, nodding to bide a moment until I could gather my wits.

"Yeah," I said finally, stifling another small cough. "I'm just still learning how to swallow." I said stupidly as I unsuccessfully attempted to hold back another cough. "Apparently it's an art I haven't quite mastered yet." I continued to babble, flustered.

Concern that had been etched deeply into his face melted away as a grin spread across it while he tried to suppress a laugh. I could feel my cheeks flush impossibly hotter as I became even more mortified that he seemed to be trying to not laugh in my face for being such an idiot for choking on a gulp of a beverage. But then a split second later, Rose busted out a hysterical laugh which rolled into a fit of giggles she tried to stifle with her hands in front of her face.

"Oh my God Bella!" she said between giggles.

I looked at her for a beat, completely confused.

The double-entendre of what I'd just said caught up to me just as a laugh escaped Anthony's lips. I wanted to crawl into a hole. I'd just unwittingly made a blowjob reference to _Anthony Cullen._

"Glad you're alright. And, good luck with that, uh, swallowing issue… Bella," he said with a wide grin as he shoved his hands in his pockets, turned and walked away.

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5 Shots and Shocks

**Enjoy. **

* * *

**Chapter 5: Shots and Shocks**

Reeling, I sat there stupefied while Anthony Cullen walked away from me. I was relatively positive that I wasn't imagining seeing his muscular shoulders—straining against his black t-shirt in a way that tormented me—shake lightly with laughter while he retreated. He was obviously still chuckling about his encounter with me, the Village Idiot. My humiliation was interrupted by a ribbon of lust, twisting through my entire body, when my eyes slipped down over and beyond his back, noticing the perfection that was Anthony Cullen's ass in those stone washed jeans.

Sigh. Wow.

When he disappeared behind the same partition that Emmett Cullen had just entered a few minutes before, Rosalie's unsuccessful attempt at stifling her laughter snapped me out of the haze that Anthony Cullen seemed to cause me to fall under. Once the haze was dispelled, all of what had just happened came crashing down on me.

I closed my eyes, with a futile hope that the blackness the back of my eyelids provided, would black-out what had just happened. Knowing immediately it hadn't worked, I dropped my forehead onto the table with enough force that I hoped it would wipe the whole thing from my memory. Or better yet, that it would be all a dream and I would wake up, never having actually made an idiot of myself in front of Anthony Cullen.

Nope. No such luck; I still remembered—vividly. I also didn't wake up, so I wasn't dreaming either.

And now my head hurt too. Sigh.

"Oh my God," I moaned, as my mind so kindly replayed the whole nightmarish encounter in its entirety.

I groaned. It seemed as if the replay was somehow worse.

"I can_not_ believe you actually said that!" Rose rolled out another fit of laughter. "We might as well go home now because I don't think anything else that will happen on this trip could top that!" She took a drink of her beer. "The look on your face when you realized what you'd said was _priceless_!"

"Shut _up_ Rose!" I demanded as I groaned again into my lap. I was trying to _forget_ what had happened, I didn't want her to re-hash it for me. I lifted my head off the table, but covered my face with my hands, as if believing by hiding behind my hands I could hide from the truth of what had just happened.

"Do you need change or need me to run cards?" the server asked coming up to the table.

"Yes, please," I said shoving our bills and credit cards at the woman, who jumped a bit at my forcefulness. "I need to get out of here." I added.

"Actually, I think we are in need of some stronger drinks," Rose announced.

"No, Rose, I just want to leave," I protested. Getting away from the place where I had unintentionally made a sexual reference to Anthony Cullen that suggested my _lack_ of ability in the aforementioned area, felt more like a need, than a want. But, swiftly following the overwhelming urge to bolt was another, just as powerful urge, that nagged me to stay. Which succeeded in thoroughly confusing me.

"Oh, come on Bell, you know you could use a couple more drinks to make you forget about this, or at least to get you to see it with the humor in it—because it really is funny," Rose insisted.

The waitress looked slightly annoyed that we were making her stand there as we argued about leaving or staying while the place rapidly got busier.

"Go ahead and run those," Rose instructed the waitress with the authority Rose possessed naturally. "And start up a fresh tab for the new drinks," she said and then turned to me. "What do you say Bell? A couple of shots?" her eyes twinkled at the mention.

I looked up at Rose, giving her a withered look of pleading to just go, while I tried to ignore the irrational urge to stay that was strongly warring with my need to leave. I needed to go somewhere where my emotions were less conflicted and confusing.

"Definitely shots," Rosalie ascertained the look on my face as a need for stronger alcohol instead of internal warring confusion. She paused for a moment, deciding on what shots she was going to have us do.

I didn't bother to protest at this point. If I was being honest with myself, a little alcohol to help me not care, or even better forget this whole hellish ordeal, sounded kind of tempting. I just would much rather have went somewhere else to do it—knowing Anthony Cullen was only a wall away from me was distracting in more ways than one. Or maybe it was because I knew I very much wanted to stay because of that very reason and it frightened me.

Suddenly a huge, devious smile spread across Rose's face and I immediately got worried what shots she had in mind. Rose could handle her alcohol much better than I could—I was a bit of a lightweight and was already feeling the beers I'd had. Visions of hanging over the toilet, throwing up all night, flashed before my eyes, but Rose surprised me with something else.

"Blowjob Shots," Rose said with certainty. "I think we have to. It's only fitting," she added throwing me a wink.

"That is _so_ not funny!" I interrupted her, causing the server to look over to me startled.

"No off brand crap," Rose tacked on to the server sternly, ignoring my outcry, demanding back her attention. "Two. And two shots of E&J," she instructed the server. "VSOP" she added.

The server nodded and walked away to get our drinks.

"I cannot believe that you just did that!"

"What?" Rose asked, in a voice that claimed innocence she did not possess in the matter. "They're booze topped with whipped cream—a girl needs to treat herself to a little whipped cream every once and awhile."

"You're absolutely horrible."

"No I'm not," Rose said, her voice of innocence gone, replaced by one that sounded almost arrogant. "I'm trying to get you to laugh about it a little. You can't do anything about the fact that it happened, so you might as well just brush it off and find the humor in it—because it was hilarious if you remove your embarrassment from it. Besides, you got Anthony Cullen to think about you giving a blowjob. That's not something every woman can boast and definitely not something to be sulking about." She grinned.

"Yeah, I got him to think about me doing that, coughing, gagging and choking—very sexy imagery," I pointed out. "I think I'd much rather have been left in the category of women who'd not induced that image for him at all."

"Here you are ladies," the server said a few minutes later as she set down the four shots in front of us and walked away.

Rose pushed both of the Blowjob Shots in front of me, and pulled both of the brandy shots over to her.

"I thought you ordered two of these to do one with me," I said confused thinking we'd each do one of each kind together.

Rose snorted. "Nope, they're all yours Bell. And we both know it's not a good idea for you to do the brandy shots. I know how you and _actual _straight, hard liquor mix; your tiny little ass would tip over in no time if you had these."

She had a point.

"And," she continued, "If I'm getting a shot for myself, I may as well get what I want."

I dipped my finger in the whipped cream crowning one of the shooters so I could drink the thing without ending up with whipped cream all over my face, and popped it into my mouth.

Rose held one of her shots of E&J waiting for me to be ready to take the shots together. With the first shot's whipped cream reduced to a thin layer versus an overflowing mountain, I grabbed the glass.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rose asked, as I picked up the shot glass stripped of its whipped cream.

"I'm going to drink the shot you bought for me," I said as if it were obvious.

"No, no, no. Those are supposed to be taken with just your mouth—no hands. Well, technically they're supposed to be set between a guy's legs and _then _with only your mouth, but I doubt you're going to let me go run into that room back there to grab Anthony Cullen for you to do the shot off of." Rose said, nearly laughing again.

"Not happening." I cut her off and shot her a glare before she entertained the thought too seriously.

"Oh, I'd still be willing to bet he'd be more than up for it with the way you two were eye-fucking each other at the taping," Rose pointed out.

"Not even a factor, it's not happening. Now take your damn shot," I ordered, pulled my own shot up to my lips and dipped my head back—taking it the regular way.

"So, what did you want to do tonight? Did you want to go walk over to Times Square when we're done with these?" Rose asked. "Or we could just keep drinking here. Or we could drink our way through Times Square…"

"Actually, Times Square sounds like a plan," I said completely up for it; which surprised me given it'd just been minutes ago when I had been exhausted and wishing for my talking bed. Humiliation must have come with a heavy hit of adrenaline because I felt very awake. "Let's, um…" I trailed off glancing back to the room I knew Anthony Cullen was sitting in, unable to help myself. The moment I decided to leave, I felt that same tugging ache that, despite my humiliation, made me want to stay right where I was.

"If you want to hang out here for a while and drink, we can do that," Rose said glancing between me and the room. "That _was _one of the options."

"No," I said snapping out of it, waiving off the ridiculous feeling. "Let's go."

"Are you sure? Because—"

"I'm sure," I said cutting her off and raised the second shot to my lips no bothering to clear off the whipped cream.

Mmm. That actually tasted _really_ good.

"Well. Maybe another shot, then we'll go," I amended, earning a wide grin from Rose.

Two more rounds of two shots each—sans whipped cream—I found that Rose was right, I felt great. I began to find the humor in my unintentional play on words and it began to stop bothering me.

The pub had grown quite packed and noisy while we'd been there when we decided to leave. And when I moved to leave my seat I once again felt the irrational urge to stay. Reminding myself it would be very teenage stalker-like to hang out, waiting for him to leave, I forced myself to go. I didn't want to touch that vision with a ten foot pole. I told myself that I was just having drug addiction withdrawals from whatever it was that emanated from his eyes, and that it would be stupid of me to let my irrational craving for him rule my actions. I knew if I did, I'd end up chasing the hit of him the entire trip and definitely be tagged a stalker. Not okay.

So, I stood up—feeling the warm rush of alcohol flood through my entire body, causing me to sway lightly—and made myself focus on my desire to see Times Square. The daylight was rapidly waning on the city, giving in to the cool shadows that were draping over everything. The growing darkness made me all the more excited to see Times Square, imagining what it would be like all lit up in the evening hours.

Not knowing the city or how far it would be, we decided to hail a cab. We'd already done a fair bit of walking, from the hotel to the theater and from the theater to the pub. I knew that my feet would be hurting bad enough with the walking we were signing up for by wandering around Times Square. I didn't need to add to it. Plus, I was a bit turned around in this unfamiliar city. I had a feeling if we went wandering around aimlessly, trying to find it on foot, we'd get lost and the thought of getting lost in New York at night was not a nightmare I cared to even flirt with turning into a reality.

The street we were on was so busy and bright, I actually, naively thought that we were there before we were. But the moment we came up to the north end of Times Square, I knew with complete certainty I'd been very wrong, and there was no doubt where we were now. It was massive! There really was no other way to describe its enormity. The busyness of New York hadn't even revealed itself to me before that moment. The sheer noise alone—! Darkness was all but settled on the city now. Large shadows swept across everything, but the brightly colored signs and fluorescent lights illuminated every inch of the Square—the place literally glowed. Each sign, big and small, demanded your attention. It reminded me a lot of the strip of Las Vegas, though neither looked a thing like the other. It was just that they were both so amazingly bright and busy. People were everywhere, even busier than the rest of the city that I'd already seen. Despite seeing Times Square countless times in movies, on television shows, and in pictures on the internet, it was nothing like I had imagined. No artificial imagery could do the reality of Times Square visual justice. It was nothing but spectacular.

The atmosphere was so different than what my day-to-day reality was, I felt as if we entered some dream world.

The cab driver moved to let us out of the taxi.

"Um, actually could you drive us through, to the south end of the square and drop us off there instead?" I asked the driver as I unabashedly gawked like the tourist I was out my window. I didn't even tear my eyes away from the sites to talk to the man or to turn to Rose to see if she objected. I just continued to stare at the cacophony of things to take in.

The cabbie agreed in a thick accent, sounding a little annoyed, but I wrote it off as the token rudeness I'd always heard to be synonymous with New York taxi drivers. Besides I was too distracted by the sites to really care.

When we reached the other end of the square, the cab driver pulled onto an adjacent street to let us out, and I was beginning to feel all the drinks. My head was feeling light, fuzzy and heavy all at the same time—it was a fantastic feeling I knew could not be good. When I stood up to leave the cab, I stumbled, finding my already naturally precarious balance had gotten very well acquainted with the alcohol I'd dumped into my system.

Woah. Serious head rush.

Perhaps I shouldn't have had those last couple of shots, but I couldn't find it in me to care all too much about it because I felt wonderfully and heavily buzzed.

"Hey Bell," Rose called my attention after paying the cab driver while I found my balance.

"Yeah?" I called over the noise.

"Do you want to go?" she asked pointing to Madame Tussauds.

It was about at that point the rest of the night got a bit blurry.

**XXXXX**

I was in a state of in between. Reality began seeping into my dreams and I was having a hard time figuring out which parts were dream and which parts were reality. Some of the things that seemed so completely unrealistic nagged at me, insisting they were real, despite their lack of believability.

Actually everything seemed to be laced with that hazy, dreamlike quality and I was inclined to think it had to have been all a dream. Maybe I did actually crawl into my talking bed after we checked into the hotel and zonked out for the entire night, because everything after that either was too far stretched to be real, or it had a hazy feel to it.

My dreams sifted quickly away from me, draining away into the black hole of my subconscious. First, the finer details were beyond me. Then, larger and larger details became fuzzier and more indistinct until it was just a haze of grey and I was unable to recall really any specific detail, no matter how hard I tried to regain hold on them, staying just beyond my psyche reach. Then, I could only remember that most of them included Anthony Cullen and how they made me feel ways I'd thought were beyond possible.

That was the first time I dreamt of Anthony Cullen and I wanted desperately for those dreams to visit me again.

I stretched, feeling the ache of my sore muscles, as I did feeling the heaviness of the alcohol weighing down on me from what I'd drunk the night before and my mouth was begging for some water. I hooked my hand around my hair, pulling it from my face, dug my fingers into my eyes, rubbing them, giving them their wake-up call and yawned as I turned my head to find either my phone or an alarm clock to check the time.

Before I could force my eyes completely open, my searching hand landed on my phone and I pulled it up to my face. I struggled to hold open my heavy eyelids and succeeded only in drawing them into slits, thankful that the window drapes were shut, keeping the room in a dim, sleepy state despite the slash of bright sunlight that poked its way through the small gap on the side of the thick drapes. My eyes were still so laced with sleep; I felt that if I let up the effort to stay awake even the littlest bit, I'd fall immediately into unconsciousness. I considered momentarily giving in, but stubbornly persisted.

I pressed the button on my phone that turned the backlight on, not caring really what time it was anymore, but still checking all the same. I barely read the time and my arm was already dropping heavily back down to discard the phone and return to sleep. But the icon indicating I had a message caught my attention and I pulled the phone back to my face to see if I cared enough to delay my reuniting with Anthony Cullen further.

Jessica. Wow, there were a lot of messages from her. I opened up the text thread deciding that many messages had to have been due to something important. The most recent one—from this morning—read:

_**CALL ME!**_

A rush of concern pulled me out of my semi-conscious state as I read the text before that one.

_**U have to tell me how he was. I bet he was amazing. He was amazing, wasn't he? OMG. I want to know every last detail. Ugh! Crawl out from under him for just 5 min and call me!**_

Concern vanished. Confusion swept over me. What the hell…?

Wait. Was she texting me, meaning to text one of her friends? It's happened before; Jess would get excited about something, click the wrong thread in her haste and start shooting off texts. She usually wouldn't figure out she'd been texting the wrong person until the person she'd sent to incorrectly would reply back, since she'd keep clicking on the same text thread without paying attention—which would explain the number of texts. Given this, I briefly considered the possibilities. I decided the texts were probably meant for Jess' friend Lauren. She was an evil troll of a person and I hated that Jess had remained friends with her. I knew I probably shouldn't judge, since many people saw Rose as a total bitch, but Lauren was different. Lauren had earned every last bit of her reputation as an all-around pretty awful person as well as being quite the shameless slut. My mind started turning over the possibilities of who Lauren had slept with this time that got Jess so beside herself.

I scrolled up to the text sent just before to find out my theory was wrong:

_**OMFG! I can't believe you slept with Anthony FREAKING Cullen! I hate U, U lucky $#*t! **_

My eyes practically bugged out of my head.

Wait. What? No.

* * *

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h t t p/ /www. you tube/watch? v= XNtTEibFvlQ


	6. Chapter 6 Corrections and Connections

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 6: Corrections and Connections**

My head whipped around to survey my surroundings; both to make sure I was indeed with Rose in my hotel room—not in another—and to confirm I was alone in my bed.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Rose in the bed next to mine and no sign that anyone else was or had been in the room with us. It wasn't that the thought of actually having slept with Anthony Cullen wasn't all kinds of blissful imaginings, but I was pretty damn certain I hadn't. Sure, the night before had gotten a bit hazy, but let's face it, sleeping with Anthony Cullen would be something I was almost certain I would remember with perfect clarity, alcohol or not. And since no such blissful memory was coming to me, my certainty was holding pretty solid.

I almost laughed at myself for even considering the preposterous idea. Even if the gods would have shined down on me and Anthony had shown me any interest, I was not the kind of girl that slept around. The laugh never escaped my lips, though. It was stopped short with the realization that, when it came to Anthony Cullen, my morals on that subject would almost certainly fly swiftly out the window.

The fact remained; I was positive that I'd not had sex with _anyone_ last night. So, how did my sister get it into her head that I had slept with not just anyone, but with _Anthony Cullen_?

I scrolled to up to the top of the text thread, between Jessica and myself, finding the first text from our exchange when I'd first gotten to the pub the night before.

When I got to the beginning of that particular exchange, I burst out a loud laugh and immediately covered my mouth to stifle the sound; both to spare my slightly throbbing head and to not wake Rose. I glanced over to her to see if I had awoken her, but she only stirred slightly before returning to the deep breathing of sleep.

I clamped my lips together, to stifle my giggles, realizing this particular "dream" had not been a dream at all.

The night before, Rosalie and I had decided to go into Madame Tussauds' wax museum, after we'd ridden through Times Square. We'd been lucky because we'd gotten there just as they were about to stop ticket sales for the evening.

It was a great. The wax figures were so realistic it was almost like standing in the presence of so many great and famous people past and present. Rose and I had a fantastic time walking through all the different themed rooms, with all the different historical icons, rock singers and other famous individuals.

When we got to the room where all the Hollywood stars' wax figures were located, Rose spotted Emmett Cullen almost immediately. When walked over to assess his likeness, I found, standing right next to him on the far side, was Anthony Cullen's wax figure.

Rose piped up—remembering Jess' text saying she was mad at me that I didn't get a picture of Anthony Cullen for her. She said that I should send Jessica a picture of me with the wax figure and told me to ask her if that was close enough.

Giggling from the alcohol swimming through our veins and at how wickedly clever we were, we waited for the people who were already posing with the figure to depart.

When the people crowding him left to the next figure and I walked up to stand next to it, I surveyed how alike the wax figure was to the real thing.

"I can't believe you just checked out the ass of a wax figure!" Rosalie laughed at me.

What? A girl couldn't look?

It was actually a pretty accurate replica—from what I could tell with the minimal exposure I'd had to the real backside. I wondered briefly who the lucky son-of-a-bitch that had the job to study and sculpt that piece of him.

"Give me your phone," Rosalie demanded, snapping me out of my envious pondering. She stuck her hand out, waiting for me to hand it over. "Now, smile."

Rose took a cursory glance at the photo.

"No. That looks weird," she ascertained in a voice that to the untrained ear wouldn't have given away that she was even buzzed from all the brandy shots she'd consumed that evening. But, I knew her well enough to hear the slight slur that someone else might take as just the way she spoke. "He's all sultry, giving a smoldering look. It doesn't look right that you're grinning like an idiot, when he has that expression on his face. Try again." She clicked a new photo. "Oh yeah, definitely better."

"Let me see," I demanded ungracefully taking my phone back from her, unable to hide my buzz with my voice or actions.

I'd surveyed the photo, deciding that despite the fact that I looked about as schnockered as I felt, I kind of looked good. Then, I sent the Rosalie approved picture text to Jessica with a caption:

_**-Picture text: Me with Anthony Cullen— **_

_**Happy? I got you that pic you wanted. I must love you after all. ;)**_

As soon as I sent the picture text, I told Rosalie to pose by Emmett Cullen's wax figure and took a picture with my phone. Then I took one with Rose's phone, after she protested saying the picture I'd just taken wouldn't do her any good when it was on my phone.

_Picky, picky._ I thought with a buzzed giggle.

A new text had come through from Jessica, just as I was about to shove it into my purse:

_**Holy F*#%ing $#*t! Not only did u get 2 see him at The Late Show taping, but u ended up MEETING him 2?! NOT FAIR! At least u had the decency to get a picture this time.**_

I laughed because I figured she would have realized it wasn't actually him. After I showed Rose, I'd gotten the bright idea to send Jess the picture of Rose with Emmett Cullen's likeness:

_**-Picture text: Rosalie with Emmett Cullen—**_

_**Thought you'd like to see this too... :) **_

It was at that point I had put my phone away, completely forgetting in my alcohol induced haze that my sister might reply to me.

Back in the present, I began reading the subsequent texts from my sister:

_**EMMETT CULLEN TOO?! U 2 are officially the luckiest $#*ts ever! God, I hate you!**_

Then, after several minutes of no reply from me, Jessica sent a whole string of texts one after the other:

_**That's it? Just the pictures? UR not going to say anything about what they were like? No other information? Nothing?!**_

_**Fine. Be that way.**_

_**Wait. Are u still with them? Is that why u won't text me back? Or are u messing with me? God. Between u and Jake I don't know who is worse.**_

_**No. UR not messing with me. Phones don't have PhotoShop. Right?**_

_**I looked at the picture again. God, he's so freaking hot. It's so not fair! He looks kind of weird though. Spaced-out, maybe. Like he's been drinking. **_

_**Hold on. Are u out drinking together? 'Cause, Bella, u look drunk.**_

_**I bet drunken Anthony is fun. Is he fun? He always looks fun in the pap pictures when he's been drinking. He's fun, right?**_

_**Why aren't u answering me?**_

_**Seriously? U drop photos like THAT on me and then u don't say a word? WTF?**_

_**OMG! UR hooking up with him, aren't u? Holy crap! UR not replying because u went back to his hotel with him. **_

_**U are! UR SLEEPING with ANTHONY CULLEN! Aren't you?**_

_**OMG, UR! HOLY CRAP! OMG OMG OMG!**_

This brought us back to the texts:

_**OMFG! I can't believe you slept with Anthony FREAKING Cullen! I hate U, U lucky $#*t! **_

_**U have to tell me how he was. I bet he was amazing. He was amazing, wasn't he? OMG. I want to know every last detail. Ugh! Crawl out from under him for just 5 min and call me!**_

And finally, her straight-out demand:

_**CALL ME!**_

And _that _was how my sister took a picture I texted to her, of me with the wax likeness of Anthony Cullen from Madame Tussauds', and turned it into me hopping into bed with him. The funniest part though, was that trying to pass off the likeness as the real thing hadn't even been my goal. I had just figured it would be funny. She wanted me to get a picture of him, so, being smart, I sent her a picture of him—or what _looked_ like him.

I knew that the wax figures were very realistic, but I figured the vacant look in his expression or the background of fake paparazzi would have tipped her off. In my simplistic, drunk mind, I'd thought she'd recognize it as his wax figure. I figured she'd text back yelling at me for sending a pic of a wax statue in lieu of the real thing that I'd gotten to see at the show. Apparently, I underestimated Jessica's gullible-ness, or how realistic something looked on the small screen of a phone.

Gotta love Jess.

On top of the texts from Jessica and her typical nature of turning a mouse into a mountain lion—despite how blurry the rest of the night was and remembering that we'd found a bar… or two…(?) to have a few more shots—I distinctly remembered us making it almost back to the north end of the square before Rosalie and I hopped in a cab and headed back to our hotel room. Just us. No guys, famous or non-famous. No side trips.

I decided I'd better send Jessica a reply before she told the whole town, or called the rag mags, being their "inside source" for the next headline—if she hadn't done one or both already.

_**Hate to break it to you, but I did NOT sleep with Anthony Cullen. Those were WAX figures from Madame Tussauds. Thanks for thinking it were possible though! I'm flattered.**_

As a quick afterthought, I sent a second text to her:

_**Oh and if you could send a retraction letter to the press (and family and friends), that would be greatly appreciated. ;)**_

I smiled, as I set my phone down on the nightstand, sat up on the bed and grabbed a bottle of water that was sitting there. I wanted to gulp it down, but forced myself to pace my rehydration, so I didn't upset my stomach, that wasn't feeling completely stable.

My phone sounded with a new text message from Jessica and I wondered when that woman ever slept. She was up last night when I had texted the photos and then again now. It had to have been early back home. I picked up my phone and read her text:

_**UR horrible for making me think that! UR worse than Jake. I really hate u now, u know and I'm not talking to u anymore.**_

I sent her a reply:

_**Oh, come on. It wasn't intentional. BTW – don't you ever sleep?**_

_**I don't believe u. Yes I sleep. It was around supper time when u texted the bogus pics last night. Now, I'm going in to work.**_

My thought process was still working on getting up to full speed between still being groggy and from the aftermath of all the alcohol. I decided that made sense as I yawned through my reply back to her:

_**You can't stay mad at me, I'm your sister and I know you love me. Have fun showing off your new vehicle at work today. BTW, I thought you weren't talking to me. ;)**_

I sat on the edge of the bed, sipping my bottle of water, waiting to see if my sister would reply back again. Either she got busy or she was showing me how she wasn't talking to me because she didn't reply. After a few minutes, I got up and made my way into the bathroom for a shower.

**XXXXX**

Rosalie and I were returning to the hotel from our visit to Ellis Island late that afternoon, where we'd taken the Ferry ride to see the Statue of Liberty. The trip sucked up the entire afternoon, but we were both glad we'd gone and seen her. Though we'd probably seen Lady Liberty hundreds of thousands of times since we were zygotes, it was an experience worth having to see her in person as she was awe inspiring.

It had been a beautiful, sunny day, but the wind had been blowing on the ferry and out on the island, so our hair was wild and snarled and our cheeks were a rosy shade of pink, despite the sunblock we'd applied. We were quite the wind whipped sight to see when we exited the taxi in front of the hotel.

We headed up to our hotel room to unknot our hair and change for the evening. I had yet another outfit ready to wear, courtesy of Rosalie—one she had picked out for me during our pre-trip shopping. It was something I was kind of excited to wear because it was closer to my comfort zone. It was jeans and a t-shirt. Well, jeans and t-shirt, Rosalie style. Meaning, the t-shirt was a fitted purple, threadbare, graphic tee that dipped to a V in the front and the jeans were some brand that I probably would never learn the name of, despite knowing how great they felt and made my ass look. I left that stuff for Rose to worry about for me because I wasn't one to go shopping unless persuaded by her to update my wardrobe. It worked out because I didn't have much for fashion sense and Rose seemed to enjoy dressing me.

Rose and I had somehow managed to get tickets to see Rules of Caius, one of our favorite bands, in a small venue tonight. Rosalie and I had actually gone to see them play in a little hole in the wall place back when we were at college; when the band was just on the cusp of getting big. Because of that, it'd become a nostalgia thing as much as a liking for their music to see them live whenever we could. We were both really excited to see them again as we'd missed them the last couple times they'd been in Seattle. Go figure, we had to be on the other side of the country in order to finally make it to one of their shows again.

"No, don't put your hair up," Rose admonished as she walked into the bathroom to set her brush on the counter catching me in the middle of throwing my hair into a slicked-back ponytail. "You're hair is looking better than usual—it's like the wind out on the ferry did something for it. You definitely need to wear it down," she said, and then tacked on, "it really looked hot."

"Thanks," I said laughing once dryly. "But I decided I'll roast if I leave it down. I'll be a sweatbox before the first band has finished playing," I protested stubbornly. Though I agreed it had looked better than usual down, my thick, long hair was not my friend at a concert, it was like wearing a thick, wool blanket over my head and upper body—not something you want when you're compacted between hundreds of other hot, sweaty bodies bouncing around.

I surveyed Rose; she had her silky, golden hair down. It fell down to her shoulder blades in perfect, shiny, uniformed waves. The sad part was, at the end of the night, her hair was sure to look much the same. Even sweating, Rosalie looked amazing.

"Just keep a binder in your pocket like we always do and throw it up during the sets," Rose said simply, in reply to solve my dilemma. "That's what I'm doing."

It was true, that was what we always had done. I'd just thought since I'd be pulling it up later, why not just save myself the time and do it now?

I sighed knowing that standing next to Rosalie, it wouldn't matter much how I wore my hair. But I released my hair from my hands anyway, letting it fall in loose waves that made a dark curtain around me.

"See? Smoking hot!" Rose smiled at me satisfied and left the bathroom.

I shook my head at my friend knowing I should believe her because Rose wouldn't hesitate to tell me if I looked like an oaf. But as I looked in the mirror, I just couldn't see it. I stared at my reflection, trying to look at myself impartially. There wasn't anything "wrong" with me, but I just didn't find anything out of the ordinary. Admittedly, my best feature was probably my skin—despite the fact it was so outrageously pale that every slight blush shone bright like a beacon—because I'd always been lucky to have a very clear complexion. My long hair was thick, but it was just a plain, boring brown—same as my eyes, which were wide but I'd always felt were set too far apart. Rose had always told me—in fact it was almost the first thing she'd said to me after she bit that guy's head off back at college for not getting a hint with my declining a date—that she would have killed for my small frame. She'd also commented on wishing for lips as full as mine on more than one occasion. In spite of that, I'd never played them up with deep lipstick like Rose had tried to get me to do on numerous occasions, I was too self-conscious over the fact that they were unbalanced; the lower one fuller than the top.

Well, if "smoking hot" was what I was to be going for I should do it outright. My typical, minimalist approach to my make-up wouldn't do tonight. I grabbed my make-up and began to darken my eyes. I knew I'd never look effortlessly stunning like Rose, but I figured I might as well try to lessen the gap, even just a little bit.

By the time I was done with my eyes, even I had to admit, I looked pretty damn good, for me. Satisfied, I put the makeup away and exited the bathroom.

"Holy fucking sexpot!" Rose exclaimed when she saw me.

I laughed and smiled, rolling my eyes, as I went to my purse to pull out what I needed for the evening, so I didn't have to lug it around.

"Seriously Bell, if you look that drop dead in jeans and a t-shirt, imagine the hearts that would stop if you put on a slinky, little dress? I don't think I've seen you do up your eyes so dramatically before," Rose mused. "Wow. You should do that more often."

"Thanks," I said with a blush; then tacked on teasingly, "I'm just trying to keep up with you."

"Keep up? Bell hon, you need to wake up."

I mentally shook my head indulgently. She was my best friend. She didn't have an impartial view of me any longer. Instead of replying, I pulled on my boots, shoved my driver's license, a credit card and a little cash into my front pockets of my jeans. Then I took a larger amount of cash and shoved it into one of my boots for safe keeping. I grabbed my phone to stuff it into my other boot and noticed it was blinking with a message.

There were two from Jake a few minutes before:

_**Heard you're hanging out w/ the wax figures of big stars in the Big Apple. Don't forget us little people. Jess was freaking out over the pics before she found out they weren't the real guys. Nice one.**_

I tried desperately to not think of specifically _who _the wax figures were of that Jacob was referring to. But I failed completely and felt the consuming desire to see Anthony Cullen burn through me again.

I shook off the feeling as best as I could and with a deep breath, I read the text Jake sent following the previous:

_**I wanted to check to make sure you were okay. You looked like you'd had plenty to drink in that pic. (Yep, Jessica shared, though not to any newspapers that I know of.) Pepper spray anyone yet?**_

I smiled as I sat on the edge of the bed. I thought about shoving the phone in my boot to reply to him later, but I saw Rose put her phone to her ear and then a moment later start talking to Henry, so I texted him back.

_**No pepper spray victims yet, but the trip has only just begun. ;) I might have been a little buzzed last night. But I'm fine, Chief. Rose too. I hope Mom isn't too tough to deal with.**_

_**Buzzed? Ha! Right. Mom hasn't been too bad since you let her know you arrived okay, though if you ask Dad, he may say different. **_

Just as I was about to reply to Jake, my phone beeped with another text from him:

_**BTW: Jess's real pissed at you for tricking her with the pics. And somehow she's mad at me for your stunt too. Thx for that.**_

_**It wasn't a stunt. Swear. Yes, I was being trying to be funny, but I figured she'd be able to tell they weren't real. How did you get into trouble for the pics I sent?**_

_**She said you sending the pics was strictly from my influence on you or something. I don't know. She'll be over it soon, if she's not already. **_

_**I know; quick to anger, quick to calm, that one. :) Hey, guess what? Rose and I are going to see Rules of Caius tonight. Jealous? I know you are.**_

_**You two and that band. How many times have you seen them now?**_

_**A few. You went a couple times too, you know. And don't pretend you don't like them. I know you do.**_

_**Few? Ha! Try again. & I'm not pretending anything, I do like them. It's just you two are a little obsessed. You're in New York and what do you do? Go to a band you've seen 100 times.**_

_**LOL :P Heading out to go obsess. ;) Talk to you later Chief.**_

Leaning forward, I shoved the phone into my boot. Then feeling guilty because of the mention from my brother, I pulled the can of pepper spray from my purse and shoved the little can into the other boot. It was uncomfortable, but I _had_ promised to carry it.

I stood, waiting for Rose to finish her phone call, and then we headed out to find some food. During the elevator ride down, we did one last inventory that we had everything we needed. When we got down to the lobby we solicited a quick sandwich recommendation, from the hotel staff, to which they directed us to a deli down the street.

After we ate our sandwiches, we flagged down a taxi, swearing that tomorrow we'd attempt to brave the subway system—though I wasn't sure we believed ourselves. But tonight we stuck with a cab because we had absolutely no clue where this venue was. Thankfully though, the driver recognized the name and address of the place the band was playing at immediately and set off to our destination.

During the ride, Anthony Cullen, who I had been struggling to banish from my thoughts since the night before, after my unintentional play on words, crept back into head. I'd been trying to ignore the fact that I ached to see him again. I pinned it as simply craving another hit of the mystical drug that he was to me. I knew it was stupid to allow myself become somewhat obsessed with the man, but I could feel that I was doing just that. All I could hope was that by the end of the vacation, the all-consuming addiction to him that I felt will have vanished. I told myself unconvincingly that the longer I went the easier it would be. Regardless, I was glad that we were going to the concert, so I could keep my mind occupied on something other than him.

The cab pulled up to the front of a building that had a sizable crowd slowly shuffling in through the doors. I paid the driver and we joined the queue.

After being checked for weapons and our tickets scanned, we were allowed into the main area. I surveyed the place. It held pretty standard characteristics of a small concert venue. Black floor, black stage, black walls, a few black tables—a kind of dark and goth description, but really it was that way so everything but the band on the stage was blacked out, keeping the focus on the performers. There was an open floor in front of the stage that was rapidly filling with concert-goers. The stage was stacked with all three of the bands' equipment, one grouping set up snugly in front of the other, so all that had to happen between sets was for the roadies to strip off a layer. A few members of the road crew were busy checking cords, and working with whomever controlled the sound and lights to make sure everything was perfect. Spotlights of several different colors flashed on and off while the crew member on stage nodded or relayed back to the other person adjustments that should be made.

I felt kind of at home here—comfortable. I loved going to concerts, especially ones in small venues. There was something intimate about them that could never be replicated in a large arena. Plus the headlining band was Rules of Caius which was like meeting up with an old friend in a strange city. Or maybe it was because I had an iron-clad excuse for wearing a t-shirt and jeans—even if it was Rosalie-style t-shirt and jeans.

Rose and I stopped and grabbed a beer at one of the small stations set up just inside the door, manned by a scantily clad, young, beautiful girl. Instantly I wanted to hate her simply on principle because she was so absolutely stunning. Of course, I immediately rebuked myself for the thought because I had no actual justification to dislike her, and if I had relied solely on that principal, I never would have become friends with Rose; who had become the most amazing friend anyone could ask for under her crass exterior.

The concert was general admission, so beers in hand, we began scoping the place out, deciding where we wanted plant ourselves for the first bands before we wedged ourselves in the middle of the crowd on the floor for when Rules of Caius came on. We spent some time over at the merchandise table that was tucked off to the side of the stage. We both debated on, but put off, buying anything yet.

When we turned away from the table, I saw that the place had an upper level and we headed for the black painted metal staircase to check it out. About half-way up, I misjudged a step, catching my toe on the edge. I jerked forward grabbing the handrail to keep myself from doing a face-plant on a metal step that would sure to require a run to the hospital for stitches and cause us to miss the entire show. Refusing to look around to check to see if anyone had seen my flub and reveal my overly flushed face, I silently prayed Rose had been the only witness.

I realized, at the top of the staircase, my beer was nearly drained. I was about to break the news to Rosalie that we were going to have to trudge right back down the stairs, when I looked up and saw a bar lining the back of the upper level, shining like a mirage—thankfully a mirage that didn't start singing, dancing, or talking to me.

We were standing at the bar, waiting for the bartender to finally acknowledge our existence—so much for "sexpot"—so we could watch the first band that had already begun to play.

"Maybe you're going to have to flash him," I joked dryly to Rose.

"I'm starting to think I'm going to have to," she agreed petulantly.

"If that's the case, I'm sure as hell glad I showed up when I did," a man laughed jokingly.

I was about to turn to see who'd made the comment. A line like that could get you on the good or bad side of Rosalie really fast depending on her mood and who you were. But, at that same moment, I felt the presence of someone step up behind me, distracting me for a second.

"Are you stalking me?" the person who'd come up behind me asked playfully into my ear, with a smile in his velvety voice.

A shiver rippled through my body. I would have known that voice anywhere. It was far too familiar than what it should have been. It was a voice I hardly knew, but I recognized it as easily as if I had been listening to it my entire life.

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	7. Chapter 7 The Concert

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**Chapter 7: The Concert**

A gasp of shock escaped my lips.

I turned my face toward the person who'd just spoken to me, almost expecting the voice to turn out to be a figment of my imagination—a phantom that my mind had conjured up. But it wasn't imagined; I found myself face-to-face with Anthony Cullen.

No mirage, no wax figure, and _thank God_ I wasn't choking.

He was looking down at me with a small, playful smile. His face was so close, our noses nearly touched—so close, I could smell him. He didn't smell like cologne—it wasn't a single overpowering scent of anything I could put a name to—rather it was a mixture of light, subtle fragrances, combined into one, that was incredible and all its own. It took everything in me to not put my nose right up to his neck or chest and take a deep breath of his heady scent.

A beat later I met his shocking green eyes. They held me, leaving me speechless, as they ushered out a heavy hit of my _Drug de Anthony Cullen_. My body was apparently incapable of handling such a large influx of my favorite drug because all my mental faculties came grinding to a screeching halt. I just stared up at him like a complete and utter idiot. My mind was totally… blank.

His lips twitched, fighting a wide grin at my dumbfounded state. I had finally located the part of my brain responsible for speech and was about to reply, when he spoke again.

"So, are you? Stalking me, I mean," Anthony Cullen asked again with a sexy, lopsided smirk.

I again lost all semblance of speech, as his breath rolled across my lips. My tongue peeked out, dragging itself against my bottom lip as it pulled back into my mouth, in hopes of getting a taste of him. Realizing my tongue seemed to have a mind of its own and had begun to act unbidden, I bit my lip to control my unruly tongue, trapping it inside so it couldn't escape without permission again. Then realization of what I'd done hit me and I felt myself flush with embarrassment.

While working again on recalling how to speak, I released my lower lip from between my teeth, knowing I wouldn't be able to reply if I was biting it. I then took a deep, shaky breath to try to clear my head. Unfortunately, it only scrambled my senses further, as the action caused me to receive a large dose of his scent—which I determined reminded me of a combination close to honey and the crispness of a sunny day.

He quirked an eyebrow up and waited.

"Um. No," I said, finally able to form words. It was meant to be a statement but it came out sounding more like a question. As if I was unsure if I was stalking him or not.

"No?" he asked, his smirk melting into a full-on grin, as he pulled his hand up to rake it through his sexy bronze-brown hair.

Seriously. Could the man stop dazzling me for two seconds so I could remember how to speak or who the hell I was?

Thankfully, after his hand made its way to the back of his head, he dipped his face down, hooking his fingers around the back of his neck. It was just enough that it broke our eye-contact.

I took full advantage of this reprieve and closed my eyes for a moment finding it easier to gather clear, coherent thoughts that way. After a moment—prepared for the dazzling this time—I opened my eyes, determined to keep myself from being stupefied by what he did to me.

"No." I repeated concretely this time; in absolute statement of fact. "Are you stalking _me_?" I asked stupidly—apparently I was unable to be unaffected by him. The words were out before I could stop them.

Where did that come from? What the hell was I thinking? In what world would Anthony Cullen be stalking me? My cheeks flamed and I wanted to smack myself hard on the forehead. I was such an idiot.

He smiled even wider and then laughed; obviously amused by my ridiculous comment.

Great. He was laughing at me.

"No. I'm not," he promised with a grin and then mumbled what sounded like, "just really lucky," but that didn't make any sense, so I immediately dismissed it as being incorrect. "I'm sorry. Let me start again. I'm Anthony Cullen," he said smiling holding out his hand.

I turned my body to completely face him. As I turned, the length of my arm lightly brushed his hard, muscular chest and stomach.

Oh God! That did not help keep my mind clear. _Deep breaths Bella – in and out, in and out,_ I coached myself as I desperately repressed my urge to run my hand down the length of him.

"Bella Swan," I managed to say, proud at myself for remembering my name. I was sure he'd already begun to wonder if I was mentally handicapped after all my recent verbal blunders. And if I'd forgotten my name, I was certain he would not be able to be convinced otherwise.

I reached forward, sliding my hand into his. When our hands finally connected, my heart lurched into double-time, in response to the powerful electric sensation passed between us. I would have told myself to get a grip over a handshake, but I heard Anthony take a sharp intake of breath, making me believe that whatever _that_ was, he'd felt it too. My eyes flashed to his, just as his flew to mine, increasing the sensation coursing through me from our touch; holding me there for a moment. And then, all too quickly, he pulled his hand away, shoving it into his jean pocket, mirroring his other.

I was beginning to think that Anthony Cullen must have been "other" because what his eyes radiated seemed to be just a diluted form of whatever his body held. My knees had actually gone weak and I swayed a bit, feeling slightly faint.

"Right. Bella. We sort of met at the pub last night," he said with a smirk I would have loved, had it not been brought to his face because of that "swallowing" problem I'd had the night before.

"I was rather hoping that you would have forgotten about that, but yes," I confessed feeling my cheeks light up.

He laughed. "Why is that? I rather enjoyed the encounter."

Damn him and his wits scrambling smirk.

"Yeah, well you weren't in the position that I was in," I countered.

"True. I wasn't," he paused, looking down at me with a sparkle of amusement dancing in his green eyes. This made me wonder what I'd just said that was so amusing. But he didn't pause long enough to rehash what was just spoken or consider the possibilities. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked and then quickly added, "It's the least I can do to make up for apparently causing some embarrassment for you last night."

Wait. What? Anthony Cullen had, for some incomprehensible reason, not only just approached me to talk to me, but he _wanted to buy me a drink_?

I looked down at my nearly drained beer suspiciously; wondering what kind of hallucinogenic that chick at the beer station had slipped into it because this was crazier than if I believed I was flying with fairies.

"That's really not necessary," I promised, looking away from my almost empty, delusion-inducing beer and back up at him. I looked harder at Anthony's face, as if thinking I could dispel the hallucination by studying it or that maybe I could see through it. All I saw though was the likings of a stubble-covered Greek God standing before me, looking into my eyes, making me melt in ways I'd never thought possible before yesterday.

"Well, I'd really like to," he said, his face falling a bit. He looked a little confused and suddenly unsure. "But if you'd rather not, that's okay. It is probably best for you to n—"

"No!" I said a bit too eagerly, cutting him off; afraid he was going to walk away. The emotion etched into that one word betrayed just how much I did not want that, causing me to flush just as the last blush had begun to fade. My body almost ached with the thought of him walking away from me. I tried to brush off how odd and irrational the feeling was and then took a deep breath to settle myself, so I wouldn't scare him away. _Get a grip!_ I reprimanded myself as I tried to ignore the euphoric scent that wafted off of him. "A drink would be great. I just meant that you didn't have to feel like you needed to. I cause my own embarrassment all the time—last night included—you just happened to be unfortunate enough to witness one of those times."

"I wouldn't call it unfortunate," he said, his smile returning. "But in that case though, I'd just simply like to buy you a drink then, Bella."

Oh the things hearing my name on his lips did to me. The only way my body's reaction to it could have been any more pathetic was if I'd started presenting to him like an animal in heat.

"Sure," I nodded. "That would be great."

I was rewarded with a triumphant smile before Anthony turned towards the bar.

Released from his mind-dazzling face, I suddenly remembered my best friend's existence. Feeling guilty, I looked over to where she'd been a few minutes before, when I'd fallen under Anthony Cullen's spell.

She was still there, facing in my direction, but she wasn't looking at me, witnessing my idiocy. She was engaged in a conversation with a really tall, built man—someone from what I could tell, fit Rosalie's type to a T. It was obvious to me that Rose was flirting with him. If this was the guy that had made the comment in response to the suggestion of her flashing the bartender to get his attention, he'd lucked out by being her type. The man stood taller than Anthony—who was at least six feet tall—and he had dark, wavy hair that nagged at me with familiarization I couldn't place.

"Hey Em?" Anthony called in almost a shout over the music and the guy turned towards us.

Holy crow! It was Emmett Cullen. No wonder Rose looked so damn happy talking to him. I felt even more idiotic for not considering that it could have been Emmett Cullen, since he was Anthony's brother and all.

"Yeah?" he asked with a playful grin, while Rose flashed me a rare, wide-eyed excited smile.

"Did you want something?" Anthony asked him, gesturing to the bar.

I was about to wish them good luck getting the bartender's attention, when I saw the bartender was in fact standing there looking at Emmett Cullen with a beer in his hand, raised in question. He was waiting for confirmation if that was indeed what he wanted or not. I wondered fleetingly if the bartender was gay, given that he was so attentive to these two gorgeous men, and seemed oblivious to the knockout Rose was. But then I decided that being who Anthony and Emmett were, I was sure that the owner of the place would have instructed the staff to be attentive and well-versed in their drinks of choice.

"Damn it, bro!" Emmett Cullen complained teasingly. "Rosie here was going to flash the bartender to get his attention. Now I won't get to see that. I was really looking forward to it too!"

"I wasn't serious," Rosalie protested through a laugh.

Rose let someone call her _Rosie_? That was new.

Emmett Cullen smiled widely at her and then nodded at the bartender who opened the beer and handed it to Emmett before prompting Rose for her drink.

I turned to the feeling of my shoulder being nudged and was met with a fresh beer being handed to me, by Anthony.

How did he do that? I didn't remember him saying a single word to the bartender.

"Thanks," I smiled at him through my confusion as he traded me for my empty beer and placed it on the bar. The bartender was handing Rose her drink when I asked him, over the music, for a glass of water too; like I'd originally planned. In addition to my original reason for wanting water, I also wanted to make sure I remembered tonight.

Emmett reached to meet the bartender's hand-off, taking Rose's beer and passing it to her, then grabbed the water.

"Well, aren't you just a spinner of a thing?" Emmett Cullen commented, handing me my water. The question came off like a statement, in a way that it sounded like it was meant to be a compliment.

"Em," Anthony started to complain to his brother, shaking his head at him in disbelief and embarrassment at what his brother had just said to me.

What the _hell_ was a spinner? I hadn't the slightest clue. But before I had a chance to even process the statement, he continued with introducing himself, "I'm Emmett. You must be Bella," he said with a wide, friendly smile, extending his hand.

Wait. What? I "must be Bella"? He knew my name? The way he'd said that it was as if I'd been a topic of conversation, like I was expected; someone discussed that he'd been hoping to meet.

I was _talked_ about? Holy _shit_!

My heart just kicked up notch processing this, while a muffled part of my mind heard Rose and Anthony introduce themselves to one another.

Rose. I sighed and told myself—not for the first time tonight—to get a grip. Emmett had just been talking to Rosalie while I'd been talking with Anthony. Even though I'd failed to mention my friend, during my brief exchange with Anthony—because he made me forget things like my own name and how to speak—Rose had probably mentioned me to Emmett.

I must have looked helplessly confounded as I processed this, standing there with a drink in each hand, because Anthony reached over to grab my beer that was sitting in my right, to hold it for me. Remembering that Emmett had his hand out, offering to shake it, I shot Anthony a shy thank you—not daring to look at him quicker than a glance in order to keep my mental function from grinding to a halt again. Then I wiped the condensation from my hand, on my jeans, and met his. My hand was practically lost in his as he wrapped it around mine—making him seem even bigger to me than he already did.

"Yes, I am. Bella Swan," I said over the music, "Nice to meet you Emmett."

Emmett flashed me a contagious smile and winked, before flashing a playful look of significance to Anthony and then turned his attention back to Rosalie.

"Ignore him," Anthony insisted handing me back my beer. I wondered if he was referring to the look I'd seen Emmett just give him, or if he was talking about the "spinner" comment Emmett had made before—which made me wonder again what the hell that meant. "Emmett's harmless, really. He just seems to have been born without a filter, or has never cared enough about what anyone thinks to ever really use one. I don't think there was ever a thought in his head he would really care too much about being known by someone else."

"This should be interesting then," I said. As if the fact of whom the hell was in my company wasn't interesting enough in itself.

"Why's that?" Anthony questioned.

I realized then, that I'd spoken aloud—crap. "Oh," I breathed a laughed and explained. "Uh, it's just that Rose seems to have been born with a broken internal filter, too. She's very…blunt about what she thinks and has no problem voicing her thoughts. I just was thinking that it could be interesting if neither of them filters what they say."

"At the very least, it should prove to be good entertainment for us this evening," Anthony laughed with me, while raking a hand through his hair. Then he leaned in closer to me until I could feel his breath hit my cheek, which caused my heart to ratchet up a notch after it'd just found a semi-normal rhythm and I drew a ragged breath. He just began to say something when a loud, excited scream erupted nearby, interrupting ed him. Both our heads turned to the source of the noise.

"Oh my GOD! Emmett Cullen?" a girl screeched so loud it drowned out the sound of the band playing in the background. Her eyes were huge and her jaw was dropped so far open I thought it was in danger of being dislodged from the rest of her head. "No Way! Can I get a picture with you?" she begged Emmett, as she desperately reached for her phone and began pulling up the camera feature, before even waiting for his reply.

"Sure," Emmett said, smiling kindly at the woman.

I glanced over at Anthony, who looked like he was trying very hard not to be seen. He was looking down and away from the woman—towards the bar, trying to blend in. Did he not know that it was simply not possible for someone who looked like him, to blend in?

"I heard you were in the city doing a movie," she babbled, "but I would have never thought you would be _here_ at the same concert as I was at! My friends are going to _freak out_ when I go over there and tell them! They are—" she stopped talking abruptly in the middle of shoving her phone at me. "_Anthony _Cullen too?" Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head as she screamed again, making me feel embarrassed for her.

Anthony hesitated for a moment, probably cursing the fact he was caught, before he looked up with what appeared to be a genuine smile on his face.

"I seriously think I just died! No one is going to believe this! Wait, yes they will because I'll have a picture! Thank you so much for doing this!" she continued to excitedly shout. She shoved her phone at me, wedging it between my arm and side, given I had each hand occupied with a drink. "Just press this," she told me hastily pointing to a button with a shaky finger and then wrapped her arms securely around each of the guys. As she did so, her eyes rolled back up into her head and she mouthed the words, "Oh my God!"

How, exactly, did she expect me to take a picture with no free hands?

Anthony reached out to help me, but Rose waved him off and grabbed my drinks from me. As she did, she grinned with amusement and mouthed, "Jessica."

I smiled back at her and nodded, sharing the inside joke, before turning to the trio. She was right; I would imagine Jess reacting pretty much like this chick did if she'd spotted these two.

"Ready? Smile," I commanded and watched Anthony's smile change from the one I'd seen him give the woman a moment ago, to one that I was more familiar with; the one that made me forget how to breathe. Thankfully though, I managed to click the button and got the girl her picture before his smile rendered me useless. I quickly looked at it. It was really dark with no flash on the phone, but the stage lights gave just enough light to be able to tell that it was Emmett and Anthony.

The girl took back her phone, looking immediately at the picture, squealed again and thanked the guys several times, looking at them like if she looked away for just a second, they would have been just a delusion. Then, she stole away quickly, presumably to tell her friends.

I could relate to the feeling of thinking Anthony Cullen was just a dream. I still wasn't convinced I wasn't dreaming or having a full-on hallucination right then. I quickly glanced around for flying fairies, as I grabbed my drinks back from Rosalie, relieved that there still were none to be seen.

"I was wondering, did you want to join us in watching the concert?" Anthony asked me, returning to my side and sending another jolt of electric want to race through me. "At the risk of sounding pretentious, we're in a separate blocked off area over there. It—"

"It's not pretentious to call it what it is, little brother," Emmett piped in. "It's the VIP Room for our very important selves," he said in a joking voice as he laughed.

"Well aren't you just an arrogant ass," Rose quipped.

Emmett laughed harder. "I just say things like they are, gorgeous. What do you say? Want to take this somewhere more _private_?" he asked her with one of his infectious smiles.

"It'll let us watch the rest of the concert without being interrupted like that again," Anthony clarified, ignoring his brother as he dipped his head down to meet my eyes and effectively scrambling my thoughts again. When I didn't immediately reply because I was trying to recover from the hit of Anthony I'd just received, he continued, "I have a feeling that girl will be back with her friends," he said scrunching up his nose. "Which is fine," he quickly tacked on, probably worried that what he'd said might have made him sound like a jackass, "it's just—I would like to enjoy the concert I'm here for. And I would really like it, if you would join me—that is unless you don't want to. Or your boyfriend wouldn't think too kindly on the idea." He looked cautiously hopeful.

Yep. I was definitely dreaming or hallucinating. But damn it all, I was going to go along with it because it was, by far, the best damn hallucination I'd ever had.

My whole body ached to stay with Anthony, but I had to remember my friend. I glanced at Rose to make sure she didn't have any hard objections to the "arrogant ass", as she'd called Emmett, before I gave my answer. But she was already walking away from the bar with his arm around her shoulder.

"There's no boyfriend to object," I said. Did I just imagine Anthony's face light up? I had to have been imagining it… right? Because Anthony being relieved to find out I was available was too farfetched to be even plausible. But yet, there it was, etched in his face. My stomach fluttered with this realization. "And I'd really like to join you for the concert," I added; causing a triumphant smile to cross his lips. I bit my lip to prevent my face from exploding with the idiotic smile that wanted to burst across mine in response.

The upper level of the venue made a U shape out from the sides of the stage and skirted the outer edge of the open floor in front of the stage below. We walked away from the bar, following the U to the left-side of the stage. The first band finished their set and people were disengaging their eyes from the stage as we made our way over to the area. Curious eyes met Emmett and Anthony's faces, followed by widened eyes and whispers of disbelief if they were really them or not—reactions that both Anthony and Emmett seemed to be completely unaware of.

The VIP area wasn't just an area blocked off with rope or something the way Anthony had tried make it sound; it was an actual room, like Emmett had said. There was a huge security guy sitting just outside the door, on a high stool, with his arms crossed. He leaned against the black wall, looking quite menacing—though Emmett was actually larger than he was—and gave a slight jerk of his head acknowledging both Emmett and Anthony as we walked in.

Like the rest of the place, everything in this room was darkly decorated with black floors and walls, but it was accented with deep red furniture in addition to the black pieces and everything in it was much nicer than the rest of the place. Against the wall opposite the stage, was a plush red couch and matching chairs around a large, square coffee table. The wall with the door, we'd just walked through, had a long table running its length that held a spread of various snack and finger foods, and the far wall had two doors; one claimed to be an exit with the lit sign hanging above it and the other was the suite's own bathroom. The room, like the rest of the upper level, was open; overlooking the stage and mob of people crowded together standing on the floor below. But unlike the rest of the upper level, there were two railings; the back one raised higher than the front, there was a narrow ledge to set drinks down on in front of each railing and dark, plush stools lined up along each row.

There were about a half-dozen or so other people already in the room, when we entered it; sitting, talking, grazing on the food and standing along the railing, drinking. A few of the people glanced at us when we entered, but went right back to what they were doing. They either already knew Anthony and Emmett, or they didn't care. I didn't recognize any of the people, but I did notice that the women were nothing short of stunning.

Ugh, I had just entered a room full of Rosalies. The heavenly dream I'd been having somehow just turned into something closer to a nightmare. I felt, what little self-esteem I possessed, lose footing and begin to plummet.

I hadn't realized that Anthony had been on edge until we walked into the room and I saw him visibly relax.

The second band had taken the stage. Anthony placed his hand lightly on the small of my back, sending a wave of heated shivers radiating through me, as he guided me to the front railing, to watch the second band's set. To my disappointment he removed his hand from my back when we reached the railing. But my body was still hyper aware that his was lined up next to mine, only just not touching, as we watched. Well, I tried to watch the set, but honestly, I had no idea what they had played or if they were any good, as I was too busy trying to not give into my body's overwhelming urge to reach across that small distance between us and touch him.

"So, do you live here in New York?" Anthony asked when the second band left the stage and the road crew began dismantling another layer of instruments.

"No, Rosalie and I are just here on vacation," I laughed, finding the idea of me being perceived as belonging here in this enormous city, preposterous.

"Oh yeah? Are you here for any reason in particular?" he asked as if the simple reason for a vacation was the utmost importance to him.

"We both always wanted to come here," I explained keeping my answer truthful while weaving it around exes, not wanting to bring them up, "and Rose convinced me that we were far overdue in doing something for ourselves."

"Let's go out there!" Emmett interrupted us, with Rosalie standing next to him looking positively glowing and every bit as anxious to go out into the crowd for Rules of Caius—her hair was even already up in a messy bun. It was true that we'd always been in the middle of the crowd of people for their concerts.

Anthony hesitated.

"Come on! You can't spend your whole life hiding! Who cares if you're seen? Live a little!" Emmett persuaded. "Besides, I know you're dying to get all hot and sweaty with Bella here," he said to Anthony throwing me a wink. "We're not eighty.," Emmett continued. "We're at a concert. If we wanted to sit in a boxed off area, listening to music we could have gone to a damn opera or something."

"Even at eighty, you wouldn't go to an opera, Em," Anthony chided as he grabbed the fresh drinks he'd requested from the room's own server and handed me mine.

"Sure I would. I'm cultured," he defended himself with a grin. Then he sighed in annoyance. "You're trying to distract me," he complained to Anthony and then turned to me. "He does it all the time and the little shit's good at it too. You've got to watch out for that."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine," Anthony said breaking into a smile at his brother and then turned to me and asked, "Did you want to go down?"

Both Emmet and Rosalie nodded, encouraging me to agree. I handed my beer to Rose.

"Let's go then," I said as I threw my hair up into a ponytail and took my beer back.

"I knew I'd like you, Spinner" Emmett said with another infectious grin, as we headed out of the room.

On the way down to the main level I caught my foot on the edge of a step. I lost my balance and began to fall forward. I desperately grabbed for the rail with my free hand, but it wasn't necessary; Anthony—who was walking beside me—had turned and had snagged his arm around my waist, catching me from falling and causing my heart to leap up into my throat.

"Woah. Careful," Anthony said as he steadied me. "You're just having all sorts of trouble with these stairs tonight, aren't you?" he said with amusement dancing in his eyes. The grin he was hiding from his face was evident in his voice.

Distracted by being enveloped in his arms, it took me a minute for his words to catch up to me. To my chagrin, I realized he'd seen my flub attempt to climb the steps earlier. I could feel the heat of my face flushing deeply with embarrassment, despite the fact that I was in his arms and the feelings that coursed through me with that were unbelievable.

My eyes flashed up to his. I had every intention of calling him on what he'd said, but when my eyes met his, I once again forgot my name and it felt like some wonderful, unknown force was holding me there. I was locked in place—lost in his stunningly bold, green eyes. They were so intense, it was unsettling, but somehow, they also managed to be comforting, and kind—it felt like there was nothing in the world that could be better than getting lost in those eyes forever.

"Are you two going to go at it right here on the stairs? Or are we going to go watch Rules of Caius?" Emmett piped up behind us, a smile evident in his voice.

Emmett's words dispelled our trance. Anthony broke our eye contact and I flushed red with embarrassment, as I sucked in a desperate breath of air, realizing only then, that I'd stopped breathing.

I glanced back, to see Rose mouth, "eye-fuck."

I flashed her a look of warning that said to keep her mouth shut. She just smirked as she and Emmett walked around us. I righted myself and Anthony released me before turning to follow Rose and his brother.

Emmett let the way into the crowd, using his huge size to make the way through, pulling Rose behind him. I followed Rose and Anthony grabbed onto my hand following right behind me. The feeling his touch sent through me caused me to involuntarily squeeze his hand tightly, as if being tied to him in some way kept me together. Before I could give myself a chance to be embarrassed over my reaction, Anthony lightly squeezed my hand back. We continued to follow Emmett, whose progress slowed the further we got into the crowd. But he didn't stop weaving through the people until the band came out and we were tightly compacted in the middle of the crowd, in front of the stage.

When we stopped moving, Anthony let go of my hand. Pathetically, a small whine of protest escaped my lips at the loss of contact, which thankfully was lost in the noise of the crowd. But a second later I felt his hand slide down the side of my waist and rest on my far hip. I swear I heard my body sigh in relief of his touch. It was as if it was relieved from pain I didn't know I was enduring until feeling the release of it.

Then, I felt his lips brush my ear that was nearest to him. My breath caught in my throat.

"Are you alright with this?" Anthony asked into my ear over the music that had begun playing.

I wasn't sure if he was referring to being out on the floor, crammed in the middle of all the people, or about his hand on my hip. But it didn't matter. The answer was the same; I was definitely alright with this. I nodded as I turned my face towards him. I stopped short finding our lips were nearly touching. My breathing sped as I felt the heat from his lips hit mine, radiating across the small distance that separated them. My mouth ached for his. I begged for him, in my mind, to kiss me because I couldn't command my body to obey me and get rid of that sliver of space that separated us—I was frozen.

A shove from someone in the crowd, moving to the music, broke the spell between us. Anthony pulled his head back shaking it, as if attempting to clear it, before turning his head to the direction of the shove and then to the stage as he stepped in closer to me, pulling himself semi-behind me. The right-side of his chest rested against the left-side of my back. I couldn't help but feel that this was a protective gesture and I didn't know why, but it completely turned me on—especially when I felt the front of his right hip and leg press against my ass.

Oh God, if I hadn't wanted him before, I most definitely did right now.

I tried to listen to the music, to pay attention to the words as a distraction, so I didn't start grinding against him like some cheap whore that just wanted to be able to claim they banged this famous guy.

Words. Think about the words to the song, Bella. Concentrate.

Well, crap. The damn song was about sex. Ugh! That. Was. _Not._ Helping! All that did was feed my imagination with more things to try to not think about.

After a while I realized that there may as well have not been a concert going on at all. My mind was too busy trying to distract my body that was happily absorbing the feeling of Anthony's hand on me and the span of his hot, perfect body pressed against mine. His touch stood out from the other people around me bumping and jostling against me in the tight space. His touch was easily identifiable; it demanded my attention; it sang to me and it was torturous to try to distract myself from it, to deny myself from giving in to the feeling, but I had to restrain myself. I knew that if I gave in to my feelings of want, I would not be able to control myself and could not be held accountable for my actions. But I didn't want him to think I wanted him for his name, because it wasn't that at all. It was him and what he did to me, not who he was. So, I concentrated on keeping myself from touching him in the many ways I wanted to and tried not to think about the many ways I wanted him to touch me. Ways that shocked me because I'd never considered, I'd never done, I've never wanted, but now I did. I wanted it all. Badly.

I could feel my attempt at decency crumbling as every minute passed excruciatingly slowly. The temptation up in the VIP room, standing so close to him at the railing, was nothing compared to the temptation to practically climb on top of him right here in the middle of this concert floor. Of course, it didn't help that Anthony's body pressed more and more soundly against mine as the crowd of people naturally crept closer and tighter together toward the stage, throughout the performance.

I could feel it. The last shreds of my resistance were starting to fail me. I could feel my mind and body disobeying my restraint; and being unable to stop myself, I slowly began to turn my body around to face him.

* * *

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	8. Chapter 8 After the Show

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**Chapter 8: After the Show…**

Anthony's hand that rested on my far hip still remained so, until I started to turn. As I moved, I felt it slide from my hip and dip across my ass. If I'd been able to rally control over myself to stop what I was doing, it would have been lost with the feeling that sprang from his fiery touch.

The moment I fully faced him, the music stopped and the crowd erupted in applause—or maybe that was just my inner floozy, I had never known existed until the day before, enthusiastically cheering me on.

Anthony looked down at me, his expression unfathomable. He pulled up his hand and paused in hesitation just before touching my face, seeming conflicted—torn. Then the conflict vanished and in its place came the expression that literally made me weak in the knees. He closed the small space between us, pressing our bodies flush against one another. His body betrayed him, telling me what I realized then I so desperately needed to know; he did want me too. My breath hitched with this realization that I couldn't deny. Anthony brushed his fingers long my cheekbone and slid them down my neck, leaving a trail of warm, electric shivers in their wake. My eyes fluttered shut for the briefest moment and when they re-opened, I was greeted with the site of Anthony leaning in to me, slowly closing the distance between our lips. I was rendered senseless. I was a mere spectator, watching him move closer to me, as my head blissfully swam in his scent. My body hummed with anticipation and my eyes closed again.

My inner floozy jumped up and down and clapped her pom-poms together with excitement, cheering him on.

"Bro!" a voice boomed in my ear, causing the private bubble Anthony and I were encased in to disintegrate.

My inner floozy threw her hands on her hips and snapped her head around to scowl at the source, her high ponytail swishing like an angry whip with the action. My eyes, however, were still locked on Anthony. He pulled back. I watched the thick emotion of want drain from his eyes, being replaced with annoyance, as he reluctantly turned in Emmett's direction.

_No! _My inner floozy and I screamed together in my head.

"Bro! They're about to start their encore song. We better get moving to our exit so we can be out of here by the time they're done," Emmett said loudly over the crowd and gestured with his thumb. As if on cue, the band came back out and started to play. "Unless you want to be in the middle of all these people when the lights go up," he shouted over the noise, backtracking, putting his hands up in a peacemaking gesture as he took in his brother's murderous expression, aimed at him. "_I_ don't care. I just know you do. Well, I thought you would care. You usually care. I…um…" he trailed off confused.

Anthony pulled his hand away from me and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before he spoke. "Yeah. Let's go," he conceded, yelling barely loud enough for us to hear over the song playing.

Emmett looked at his brother speculatively, but then started to make his way through the crowd, leading the way when Anthony nodded. Rosalie flashed me a mischievous, knowing smile as she turned to follow directly behind Emmett. Anthony gestured for me to follow Rose before grabbing my hand, causing a warm tingling to radiate up my arm, and followed behind me.

As we weaved through the crowd, I tried to figure out if I was more relieved or disappointed that my dignity was saved. I began to seriously question if I would have been able to content myself with just a kiss, once his lips brushed mine.

I'd never felt anything like it before—the things Anthony did to me. I'd never really been much of what you'd call a sexual person. Physical contact wasn't really something I ached for; it was more something I'd done because I thought I was supposed to want to do it. But with Anthony…I couldn't describe just _how_ different it was for me. Nothing in my life, before him had come close, which both exhilarated and terrified me because it was so foreign.

Though confused with the direction Emmett led us, as it was the opposite direction of the exit and further into the crowd, I followed. Our progress slowed as Emmett worked his way towards the front, by the stage. People were less willing to give up their prime spots even if it was for the very last song.

Despite most people having their attention completely trained on the stage, I didn't miss the expressions a good number of people—namely women—gave Emmett and Anthony. Usually shock or disbelief colored their faces as they switched their attention from the stage to them. Then their eyes would pop wide, and they would rip out their cameras or phones, or they would desperately grab the attention of their friend next to them. By then the four of us were luckily out of their reach.

I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was when I looked back to glance at Anthony and noticed that there was a hand-full of women trying to catch up to us—or rather, to the guys.

Geez.

Thankfully, we reached the security barrier set up between the stage and the crowd. Emmett flashed something to the security guard and he opened the gate the smallest bit letting Emmett and Rose scoot through, but it was immediately closed in front of me. The guard looked at me sternly. I saw Emmett double-back to the guard, but Anthony was faster, maneuvering around the people, next to me holding up a pass that I'd not noticed before hanging around his neck. The guard moved aside the barrier and let us squeeze through before quickly closing it again just as the group of women made it to the barrier and started to yell to get Anthony and Emmett's attention. I could feel the nervous adrenaline racing through my body. I felt uneasy and anxious to get out of their sight, to get wherever Emmett was leading us to. It was almost as if I felt like I'd done something wrong and was running away, trying to not get caught. I shivered in response to the eerie feeling.

Was this how Anthony felt all the time? How horrible.

As soon as Emmett saw that we'd made it through the barrier, he led us again a few more steps to a door at the side of the stage and held it open for us, motioning for us to go through, while sporting one of his wide-grins. Instead of proceeding, Rosalie stood next to him with, her violet-blue eyes lit up. I hesitated, to let Anthony get out of sight first, but he pulled his hand from mine and set it on my low back, guiding me through the door ahead of him with. Again, I felt protectiveness in his actions and it made me feel kind of special.

Emmett had Rose followed after Anthony and then Emmett let the door close shut behind him.

My anxiety pooled and drained, as it gave way to a fresh wave of excitement that raced through me. We were backstage!

We began walking down the cold, cement bricked hallway that looked like it had once been painted white, littered with equipment, folded tables, and instruments along the sides; when we heard the crowd erupt into cheers as the last notes of the song hung in the air.

"Just in time," Emmett grinned at Anthony.

A second later I started from a loud crash behind us. Turning to the source I saw a guitar had been thrown into the hallway, breaking and scattering along the cement floor. A moment later Caius, the lead singer, stormed out from where the guitar had flown out of. He picked up a piece of the guitar and violently chucked it back to the stage, presumably at someone, cursing a blue streak; then angrily tore past us, without acknowledging we were there. Anthony pulled me in front of him and held me out of the way as Caius stormed by and opened up a door just down the hall, breaking the relatively quiet space with a burst of loud music and raucous laughter. The door closed and cut the noise of the room to a muffle. Even with the noise of the crowd coming from the stage, it was removed, feeling distant, and we were left in an eerily still and quiet hallway.

"Uh oh," Emmett laughed, unperturbed by the scene.

I looked back in the direction Caius had come from and saw an overwhelmingly tall man—taller than Emmett's near six-and-a-half feet—with cropped black hair, kick aside the largest piece of the broken guitar and laugh once without humor. He was the Felix, the drummer for Rules of Caius. Sure I'd always seen him sitting behind a drum set and size was hard to judge, but I'd never realized the sheer mass of the guy. Holy crap he was huge!

He looked up and his face lit up with recognition. "Hey! I didn't know you were going to be here tonight!" he greeted Anthony and Emmett in an accent, with surprised excitement coloring his words, and shook their hands.

"We were just as surprised to find out you guys were in the city, doing a show when the both of us were here, so of course we had to come and make sure you hadn't let Caius drag you into his dark dredges," Anthony teased. "No, it was great show, as usual."

"Thanks. I'm glad Caius' piss-poor mood didn't show—it's nights like this where he's worse than a PMSing princess—the spoiled, bitchy ass that he is," Felix complained. "Sorry ladies."

"You don't have to worry about us, I assure you," Rosalie spoke up before I was able to.

Felix laughed. "Who are these two—"he began to ask, but was interrupted by a loud stream of expletives.

We all looked back in the direction of the voice to see a guy walking from the stage, into the hallway looking at his arm that was bleeding from a gash, wiping it with a small towel. I couldn't see his face; his shoulder-length hair hid it with him looking down.

"Fall down again, Dem?" Emmett chortled, causing the guy to look up, showing that it was Demetri Roland, the bassist for Rules of Caius. Holy crow! Just when I thought things couldn't get any more surreal; Rose and I were standing backstage at a Rules of Caius concert, with two of the band members and Anthony and Emmett Cullen. No one would ever believe us if we told them.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen? No fucking way!" Demetri said with a grin, pulling his hair out of his face, as he walked over to where we stood. "I thought that you were just messing with me, when your assistant called for passes! Shit!" he laughed. "That's why you had your assistant call, wasn't it? To throw me off because you _always_ call me yourself! You are the biggest shithead!" he laughed harder and gave Emmett a huge hug. "I thought I was going to have to track your ass down in order to see you again. I see Edward these days more than I see you. Man, it's been forever."

"And here I thought you couldn't be thrown off a scent, Demetri," Emmett rolled. "I can't believe I fooled you."

"We all have our off days," Demetri chortled back in defense.

"Likely excuse," Emmett scoffed through another laugh.

"Though I see you and Edward apparently don't. Who are the knockouts?" he asked, appreciatively checking Rosalie out from head-to-toe.

Wait. What? Edward….?

"Demetri, Felix, this is Bella and Rosalie," Anthony quickly piped in, distracting me with introductions. "Bella, Rosalie, this is Felix and Demetri. Demetri is an old friend of Emmett's. The four of us have known one another for far too long," he laughed.

"Yeah Felix," Demetri interjected, after the guys greeted Rosalie and me, "Thanks for Caius' piss-fit and my gouge from that guitar. What the hell was that fit about you stealing his stash?"

"Yeah, well I didn't steal it so much as just hid it from him," Felix admitted unapologetically. "It's for his own yippy-ass good. The asshole wouldn't have been able to go back out there for the last song. He's going to OD if he doesn't knock it the fuck off. As it is now, we'll be lucky if he's not too strung out for our gig tomorrow night. Let him bitch. He'll pass out soon enough from sucking down booze anyhow and we'll be able to throw him on the bus. Maybe get a rare, peaceful ride," Felix ranted. "You see?" he continued, clasping his hand on Anthony's shoulder and dipping his head to meet his eyes. Anthony's height couldn't match Felix's towering form. "You should have stuck with us. You're not a prima donna like Princess Caius, you had a better voice and can you can play like mad too. Caius can barely even strum a note anymore; he's too coked up to do even the little he used to know. We have to use fill-in guys to do the guitar bit. We're good, but with you," he paused shaking his head and letting out his breath, "we would have been great."

Anthony used to be in the band Rules of Caius? It sounded like he did it really well too. Was there anything he didn't do?

"I highly doubt that, Felix," Anthony laughed. "Besides, Rules of Caius has a much better ring to it than the name you'd come up with for us. What was it? Well-FED?" he snorted.

"No, I'd come up with a better one. It was EF'D Up!" Felix protested.

"Yeah. Much better," Anthony said sarcastically and laughed, shaking his head. "You were a little too obsessed with finding a way to incorporate initials, then. Besides, I love to play; I realized doing this would make me hate it. I couldn't handle hating music. Plus, I'm sure you'd just be complaining about me right now instead of Caius, if I'd stayed with it."

"Nah, man. With Caius, it's like we're babysitting a PMSing, binging monkey-princess with an out-of-control drug addiction. You're no monkey princess, dude," Felix insisted.

Anthony laughed again, shaking his head.

"I don't know Felix, he is pretty enough to be a princess," Demetri dead paned, grabbed Anthony's chin and laughed hardily at his own joke, causing the rest of us to join in as Anthony pulled his face back and playfully swatted his hand away.

We were interrupted by the road crew that had begun pulling instruments from the stage and taking them past us, to the direction we'd been headed before the guys started talking to Felix and Demetri.

"Ah shit," Demetri complained. "We have to get to packing up. The bus has to leave in an hour to make it to our next show tomorrow night. I hate when Matt does this to us and books two nights in a row where the gigs are states away. Especially now that I know you guys are here. We need to hang out!"

"That's alright," Anthony promised. "We'll catch up another time—maybe when you're done touring."

"Or maybe we'll surprise you on the road at another stop," Emmett grinned.

"That would be great," Demetri grinned back at him.

"Yeah, it definitely would." Felix agreed. "Alright," he sighed, "we better go round up Caius." He sounded annoyed like he wasn't looking forward to the task.

"I'll help you after I'm done with the Medic. I'm still bleeding all over the place," he stated as he pulled the now very bloody towel away from the gash on his arm to prove his point. Blood flowed readily from it. I'd forgotten about the wound, but now that my attention was drawn back to it, I could smell that rusty salt smell of the blood next to me. My stomach turned and I felt a little dizzy. "It feels like there are shards of crap in there too. Fucking Caius."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my mouth. The spinning slowed and I opened my eyes to find Anthony looking at me with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows pushed together.

"I'm fine," I promised with a weak smile, feeling idiotic at how much a little bit of blood affected me, causing my cheeks to flush with warmth. Rose caught my lie, but left it alone. She knew I didn't like the attention about it, but I knew she'd keep her eye on me until she was satisfied I'd recovered.

Anthony didn't look convinced, but let it go and bid Felix and Demetri goodbye.

We walked out of the back of the building, Anthony holding my arm as if ready to hold me up if I collapsed. I must have looked greener than I'd thought. Cool, wet air greeted my nose, and I realized that the air had constantly smelled wet since the moment Rosalie and I had arrived in New York; though it hadn't rained once. I wondered why that was.

A huge, dark bus stood idling, backed up to the wall next to the door we had just walked through. On the other side of the door was an unmarked semi-trailer backed to a service door. I could hear the road crew talking as they loaded it up. A black car sat parked between the two, straight ahead. Emmett and Anthony lead us to the car and I realized as we approached it that it was actually a small limo. The driver quickly exited and held open the door for us. Anthony gestured for me to go ahead and get in, offering his hand to help me if I needed. Rose climbed in behind me.

"Holy fucking shit," she whispered to me as she took the seat that faced me.

"I know!" I whispered back, just before Anthony climbed in and slid next to me, followed by Emmett.

"I'd kill for some food," Emmett announced as he pulled his arm around Rosalie. "You girls up for a bite?" he asked wagging his eyebrows at Rose.

We arrived at a restaurant where we were quickly ushered into a private dining area for just the four of us.

"So, is this how you live? Always secluded from everyone and everything else?" I asked Anthony when we'd sat down. It seemed a little sad to me if that were the case; feeling like you're always having to be careful, like you have to hide out, like you were confined in order to have peace and never being able to simply relax.

"What do you mean?" Anthony asked.

"You know exactly what she means, little brother!" Emmett piped in. "You hide from people whenever you can, and you know it. It's so obvious that Spinner here has already picked up on that within the couple hours she's been in your company." He then answered my question for Anthony, "Yes, this is how he lives; away from the general population. He's got the art of a hermit down to a science. Not me though. I only hide out around him because it's the only way I can see him. I swear he's allergic to attention or something."

"Emmett," Anthony interjected to me, ignoring his brother, "is extremely extroverted and does nothing short of bask in the glow of attention. He loves it—lives off it, really."

"Of course I do!" Emmett defended. "There's nothing better. Who else on this planet besides you wouldn't love people acting insanely giddy because they're so split up over themselves about meeting you? It's a rush. It's fun to be adored by the general populace, as I have been by my friends and family my whole life. I can't help that I'm so lovable."

Rose and I couldn't help but laugh at Emmett's statement and playful smile.

"I, on the other hand," Anthony continued again, rolling his eyes in humor at his brother who'd broke off into conversation again with Rosalie, "am quite the opposite. The attention is something I'd really rather not have—I don't like it. It makes me feel like a freak and uncomfortable. It's unnerving, getting screamed at. I miss privacy, I miss when people used to not have preconceived perceptions of me, I miss being _normal_," he said, sounding contrite.

"I can see that," I told him honestly. I knew that if it were me, I'd miss normal, too.

"You can?" Anthony asked surprised by my obvious honesty.

"Definitely. But, why acting and why music—almost—if you'd rather not be in the spotlight? They're kind of synonymous, aren't they? They both come with fame and fame comes with loads of attention."

"On the surface they are, I suppose. But, that scenario doesn't necessarily, automatically come with either of them. Usually, they're both pretty secluded careers. When you're in a band, the majority of your time is spent rehearsing, in a studio recording your music, or sitting alone writing songs."

"You've written songs?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"Yes."

"Anything I might know?" I prodded.

"The point is music isn't all spotlights and stages, that's a small piece of it. Like acting," Anthony said, changing the subject off his writing without answering my question. "Most of the time you're on a location, on set with the cast and crew and usually there's just a hand-full of people there. Your free time then is clogged up, mostly alone going over lines again and again. You spend large chunks of time away from friends and family—that's the hard part for Emmett because he's so social, but something I never minded and actually kind of enjoy. The publicity with talk shows or premieres and things is a small piece of it. But, it's that piece that I'm horrible with—and Emmett soaks up."

I laughed because I could see that plainly in the very small time I'd spent in Anthony and Emmett's company, how truthful that was. Emmett seemed so lively and like he just didn't have a care in the world. Anthony seemed uncomfortable when he felt exposed and around a large amount of people. He didn't like drawing the attention that his big brother relished.

"What about you? What do you do?"

"I have a very ordinary office job, nothing very interesting."

"I doubt that."

"Really. Unless you find discussing the dynamics and dramas of program changeovers or projects working to streamline processes and cut costs enthralling—which I highly doubt."

Anthony laughed. "Actually that does sound interesting," he admitted, sounding like he honestly thought my dull office job was truly interesting to him, which surprised and confused me to no end. Next to his life, how could anything in my very ordinary life—extremely ordinary job included—be of any interest to him? "But since you're on vacation, I get that you probably don't want to think about work," he grinned. "Which reminds me, I never found out earlier, where are you vacationing from, Bella?"

"Washington state," I said as I tried to ignore the way the sound of my name on his tongue affected me, knowing he'd probably never heard of the tiny town I lived now or the one I'd grown up in. For some reason, my answer seemed to pique his interest.

"Where in Washington?"

"A small town outside of Seattle you've probably never heard of."

"Try me," he pressed.

"I live in Port Angeles now, but I grew up in Forks," I replied smugly, knowing that the chances of him having ever hearing of Port Angeles, much less Forks was practically zero.

"You're kidding."

"No. Why?" I asked, confused by his answer.

"I just—," he stopped himself from saying something and redirected his answer. "I know the area," Anthony said vaguely, still looking at me in disbelief.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "I swear that half the people in the Seattle area don't even know Forks exists, I'm more than a little surprised that you do."

Anthony smiled, but the look on his face as he studied me was like he was looking at something unbelievable and trying to convince himself something impossible was real. Though I couldn't figure out what it was that caused that reaction. I was about to satisfy my itching curiosity when the server interrupted the moment with the food we'd ordered—well, mostly Emmett ordered—and the moment to ask it was broken, sidelined with light chatter about the food.

I was distracted from eating when I glanced up to see Anthony's strong, stubble-covered jaw tense and relax, moving up and down as he chewed—the commonplace action was mesmerizing. I couldn't look away. Seriously, I never knew seeing someone eat could be a turn-on.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Anthony asked with a laugh, catching my blatant staring and sucked food off his finger.

Oh God.

"Oh, uh, no," I said blushing crimson as I dragged my eyes reluctantly from his jaw porn, knowing he'd caught me ogling.

At least I was pretty certain I hadn't been drooling. Wait… No. No drool. Seriously, his presence constantly turned me into a chronic imbecile.

"Then, what?" he asked amused, licking his lips.

Uh. What?

"Um," I stalled, trying to think of some reason I would be staring at his face other than the embarrassing truth—because there was no way I was admitting to him that his jaw and lips were like porn to me. "I, uh, was just wondering if there was a reason you have the stubble look going on, or if you just decided to do it, 'just because,'" I said stupidly.

_Brilliant save, Bella._ I chided myself dryly, wanting to hit my forehead on the table. _I think jaw porn would have been better._

Anthony's eyes lightly narrowed for a beat in speculation, as if he didn't buy my lie but then smiled, and rubbed the back of his fingers along his jaw a few times before replying as if knowing the truth and taunting me. I nearly had to sit on my hands to keep myself from reaching out and running my fingers along his heavenly stubble-covered jaw myself. Instead, I clenched them into fists at my side, feeling ten shades of jade of those lucky fingers of his, wishing fervently that it were my fingers rubbing along his jaw. Mmmm. Or maybe wishing that his fingers were running the length of my jaw—or down my neck, or across my lips, or twisting in my hair, or running the length of my bare body, or—oh God. I shifted squeezing my legs together as my body did an involuntary Kegel.

"Kind of," Anthony replied. "The movie I did—_Love of Ire—_the one I was talking about when I saw you at The Late Show—"

Distracted, I interrupted him. "You noticed I was there?" I asked, baffled. Apparently I still didn't fully believe that the moment wasn't all one sided.

"I thought it was obvious that I was very much aware of your presence," he smiled, amused. "I guess apparently not—?"

"I thought that—I guess, I thought I'd imagined that." I admitted.

"You must have an active imagination because mine has never been so inventive." He said, his eyes lit up and burned with a rawness that made my body go weak. "I—" he started to continue and then hesitated.

"What?" I asked, after the pause lasted, dying to know what he was about to say and confused with his abrupt stop. It wasn't possible that he'd felt the same thing I had when he looked at me. It was simply impossible. But yet, I hoped and I tried to will him with my mind to tell me he did.

"I'm sorry. I never finished answering your question." He said, his eyes suddenly seemed cooler, distant, guarded causing me to feel dizzy from his quick mercurial shift in emotion. I couldn't help the irrational rush of hurt run through me and chastised myself for even entertaining the possibility of hope that he'd felt what I had too.

"Oh." I said lamely, unsuccessful at trying to hide my feelings of disappointment.

"I," he began and cleared his throat, "had to have it like this for that film. I ended up keeping it because I grew used to it. Are you saying I should rethink it?"

His honest, eager face for my judgment made me smile and caused my stomach to flutter, practically forgetting my low a second before.

"No, I like it. But I doubt there's anything that you couldn't pull off." I said the words before I could stop them from crossing my lips. My cheeks blazed just as they'd returned to normal color and temperature and I squinted my eyes shut in effort to hide myself from my too honest reply. I was glad Rose was so thickly engrossed in conversation with Emmett, that she wasn't catching all my idiocies that were flowing from me left and right.

Thankfully Anthony let out an easy, laugh that made me feel comfortable, rather than more embarrassed. I peeked open my eyes and couldn't help but smile back at him when he flashed a crooked smile that warmed me down to my core.

"Yeah, well," he replied, "I can tell you with absolute certainty that that's not true. But thank you," his eyes caught mine and held me in stillness, as I stared helplessly back into his until he broke the spell by speaking again. "Why? Was there a reason behind your question?"

_Other than poorly trying to cover up my admission of thinking your jaw was like porn? Nope. Think fast, Bella!_

"Oh, well, my brother is always doing different things with his facial hair. He never had a reason other than just wanting to change it to whatever it was that day. I guess I was trying to figure out if other guys had actual reasons."

_Another winner cover-up,_ I thought sarcastically. I should just confess.

No. Still too embarrassing.

"You have a brother?" Anthony asked, distracted from my terrible lie to cover up a terrible lie. Saved by a distracting detail. Yes!

Wait. Aw Crap! My dating history wasn't very extensive, but I did know that Jake was really good at scaring guys away.

"Um. Yeah?" I said like it was a question.

Anthony laughed. "You're not sure if you have a brother?"

"No, I do have a brother. It's just that he tends to freak guys out. You know, the big brother protector of his little sister thing," I babbled. Great. Now he knows he's a protective brother. He's so going to run.

"Yeah, well, usually it's the guys that get scared away from big brothers that you don't want around anyhow." To my amazement, he laughed. "I have a little sister, so I kind of know about how that whole brother thing goes. Poor Jasper—my sister's husband—he had both me _and_ Emmett to contend with. But he's a right good guy and we all get along great, so it's all fine," he assured me with an easy, genuine smile.

We sat for hours. We laughed, talked, drank, ate—well mostly Emmett ate—and in what felt like minutes, hours had passed. It was fun and easy, like four paired off friends having a fantastic night out, though Anthony continued to be cryptic and vague with information he gave about him. It was as if he would catch himself saying too much—more than he wanted to divulge. I tried to be understanding of the fact that he barely knew me and didn't know if I'd run off to the press, but mostly it made me want to unveil his secrets all the more. To find out what made him, him. Not to pass along to anyone, but because I wanted to know him.

Before I knew it, dawn was threatening, our bodies began to feel the hour and the guys were giving us a ride to our hotel.

"Thank you Anthony, I had a really great time," I said when the car pulled up in front of our hotel. I didn't want the night to end. I didn't want to leave the car. I felt that once I did, I'd never see him again—the thought was literally painful.

Anthony looked back at me with that torn expression again, as if debating something before quietly replying, "It's Edward."

"What?" I whispered, confused.

"Anthony isn't my real name. Well, it is actually, it's my middle name, but my agent told me Anthony was more marketable than Edward so I—."

"Edward?" I asked, trying it out on my tongue. I struggled to remember what Emmett had called him all evening, but I couldn't recall him ever addressing him by any name at all. Then I remembered Felix or Demetri saying something about an Edward. It had thrown me off at the time, but I guess I'd disregarded it as hearing them wrong or that they were talking about someone else.

He took a deep breath and let it out before smiling widely. "Yes."

"Well, _Edward_," I said playfully, as I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to ignore the things his eyes were doing to me. "Is there anything else you've been holding out on that you think I should know?"

Instead of replying, he reached up to hold my face in his hands. His fingers sliding behind my ears, into my hair and his thumbs caressed my cheeks. His eyes darkened and danced thickly with prurience. For a moment he seemed almost at war with himself—hesitant, as I sat, helpless as prey locked into the eyes of a predator, though I felt no fear. Instead I felt desire that was so overpowering, I ached painfully from it. Because I knew it was for something and someone I could never truly be able to have for myself—I knew I couldn't keep him. So, I basked in the feeling of his eyes holding me, soaking up every bit of it while I could and waited for him to all-too-quickly release me from the home I felt I belonged to, but could never call mine. Instead, he closed the small distance between us and pressed his lips to mine.

On the surface his kiss was tender and sweet, but guarded, as if there was something feral inside him that he didn't want to let out and kept under tight control. But, I wanted him to release it, I wanted to feel all the intensity he had, I wanted to bring out the side he kept reined in, to soak in all he had. To my frustration, however, I sat stupefied, held immobile with the realization that Anth—Edward, that _Edward_'s perfect, warm, pliable lips were pressed against mine, causing me to be unable to remember how to breathe. I felt my heart falter out of its rhythm, stutter and begin to gallop disjointedly with the sudden rush of heat from my want of him racing through my blood. But yet, I still was unable to command my body to respond as I wanted it to.

I felt him begin to pull back, disengaging with my lack of response to his kiss. Thankfully my desperation to not lose his touch jolted me out of my inert state. My breath came in a desperate and wild gasp, and I surprised both of us by leaning into him and kissing him with the consuming passion that had held me—now unleashed and exposed—unable to hold back my raw want. My hand reached up and I slid my fingers through his soft, unruly bronze-brown hair; like I'd wanted to do since the moment I'd first laid eyes on him. I grabbed a hold of it, clutching it, desperately holding him firmly to me.

Edward moaned lightly in response. For a blissful moment, the world was only us; only our lips moving against one another.

All too soon, he pulled his lips away, resting his forehead against mine.

I tried pulling in deep breaths to regain linear thought. But, it was no use to try and pull rationality in with the air, as it was filled with Edward's intoxicating fragrance, scrambling my senses almost as completely as his kiss had just done.

But I didn't care. If I was a complete idiot the rest of my life I wouldn't care if it meant Edward was there. I'd happily pay the price, whatever it was, to keep Edward near me.

"Would it be horribly rude to ask to be able to encroach on your vacation, crashing it again, while you're still here in the city?" Edward asked brushing an unruly lock of hair out of my eyes.

I couldn't find my voice, so I simply shook my head forcing my fingers to surrender his hair and slide across the sides of his neck—the tips of my fingers grazing across his soft stubbles.

A breathtaking smile spread across his face, "So, can I see you again, Bella?" He asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yes. I would love that… Edward," I replied in a whisper—all I could coheres out of my voice—saying his real name again, liking the feel of it on my tongue.

I somehow was able to recall my cell phone number when he prompted me for it and to my surprise; he asked for my phone and plugged his into mine. Then he promised he would call me in the afternoon to arrange a time.

He kissed me again, making my head spin in the most delicious way, before I fumbled for the door handle. I was surprised to be helped out by the driver who'd apparently been standing there the entire time, waiting for us to move to exit the vehicle.

I felt like I was walking on a proverbial cloud-nine, as Rosalie and I made our way into our hotel, just as the sky was lightning up with the early dawn praying to the gods that it wasn't all just a deliriously intoxicating dream.

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	9. Chapter 9 Plans

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**Chapter 9: Plans**

Groggy, I rolled and stretched with a huge yawn. I hummed as the blissful dreams I'd had, of Anthony Cullen. They still lingered, spilling into my conscious mind, causing me to seriously consider just returning to the heavenly dreams, without delay. Instead, I decided to check on the time first, it felt like I'd slept a long time and it was late in the day, I was curious if I'd actually spent a whole day in New York City asleep.

I rubbed my eyes and felt around for my phone on the nightstand and accidentally knocked it to the floor. I couldn't summon the energy I needed to reach the floor to pick up my phone, so I let my arm go limp, dangling it off the bed. I began drifting back into my heavenly dreams that still danced along the edges of my consciousness, as they waited for me to return to them. It was when I was at the very edge of sleep, sinking almost completely back under, that the night before came rushing back to me like a tsunami after an earthquake.

Stinging panic hit me with such severity that a cold sweat swept across my skin in an instant. I was terrified that my memories had just been one of my vividly imaginative dreams. A rush of energy surged through me, following the cold sweat and, this time, I nearly dove off the bed in effort to pick up my phone, off the floor.

"Please let it be real. Please let it be real. Please let it be real," I chanted in a desperate whisper, as I pulled up my phone's contacts.

The panic ebbed as fast as it has risen and felt my chest swelled with overwhelming relief, amazement and giddy-like happiness, when my eyes came across the name, "Edward" and the phone number that followed it.

It was real! Holy crow! Thank God, it was _real_!

My fingers flew to my lips and glided across them, remembering the blissful feel of Edward's mouth on mine. My eyes closed, as I relived the memory in my head and I could almost feel the electricity of his lips again.

I let out a small, contented sigh.

And, on top of that, he had promised to call me. Not just some abstract empty promise of, "I'll call you," meaning; "maybe some time in the future if I'm feeling lonely or have no one else to call, but probably you'll never hear from me." No. He promised to call me _this_ afternoon so we could get together again _tonight!_

It felt like my chest was going to explode from the blissful excitement that beat through me with that realization.

I flopped myself back onto the bed and recounted the entire night before and let out a humming sigh of contentment, as actual memories, not just dreams, of Edward replayed in my head.

I knew that it was a good thing that we had gotten back to the hotel at such a late hour; I had had a hard enough time falling asleep as it was. If I had been anything shy of exhausted, it would have been hopeless for me to have slept one iota.

"Oh my God," I breathed to myself, in awe of what had actually happened.

"I know," Rose said, causing me to jump, breaking me out of my dizzying recall of the night before. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I'd not even noticed she'd begun to stir. "Holy fucking shit, right?" she said with a smile in her voice, as she rolled over on her side to face me on my bed.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," I agreed. "This trip was the best idea we've ever had."

xxxxx

After we'd both showered, dressed and Rose talked to Henry, we headed out to find some coffee and a late lunch, since it was already well into the afternoon.

"So," Rose said, after we had coffees in hand and had begun looking at the menus of the little café for what we wanted to eat. "Emmett asked if we could get together again, while we're in the city. I gave him my number, but told him to give me a call today because I'd have to check with you first."

"Oh. Well, aren't I a bad friend?" I laughed.

"Why do you say that?" she asked, looking up from her menu, eyeing my quizzically.

"Well, Edward asked if we could get together again tonight, and I just told him, 'yes'. It didn't even cross my mind that I should run it by you first. Sorry."

"Edward?" she laughed. "I guess he didn't make as big of an impression on you as I thought. You mean Anthony."

"No. Well, yes. They're one in the same. Anthony's real name is Edward. Well, Anthony is his middle name, but his first name is actually Edward. He said his agent told him to use Anthony because it was a more marketable name," I babbled the explanation. But the moment I did, I felt this wave of chagrin and quickly added, "It didn't seem like it was something he shared with everyone though, so don't say anything to anyone."

I felt the overwhelming urge to keep Edward's secrets. And for some reason the fact that he actually went by Edward felt like it was one of his guarded secrets, one thing he'd actually opened up about the night before, in between all the cryptic and non-answers he'd given. Now that I had shared Anthony's real name, with Rose, I felt very protective of that information and wanted to make sure it didn't get shared with anyone else.

"Who the hell am I going to tell that to?" Rose defended. "Besides, his agent is right, Anthony is a much better name than Edward."

"Really? I kind of like Edward," I admitted.

She laughed, "No. I think you _really_ like Edward."

I flashed my best sarcastic face. "You know what I mean."

"I do. But you also know I'm right," she said smugly.

Apparently it was obvious just how infatuated I'd become. I bit my lip, as I pulled the menu up to my face to hide my blush, pretending to be in a sudden deep debate about what to order.

It was so much more than what he looked like, and it wasn't that he was famous, as to why I liked him and wanted to see him again. Sure, who he was, was cool, but if Edward had been a total prick, I wouldn't have wanted to ever see him again. But he wasn't; he was fun, easy to talk to, sexy, witty, charming, an amazing kisser and the way my entire being came to life when he was around, was indescribably amazing. It was like my whole body sang for him; his eyes, his smell, his touch. I'd never felt anything like it before and found that he was highly addictive.

The server returned, took our orders, and then unfortunately took my prop, so I could no longer hide behind the menu.

"What?" I asked, noticing Rosalie studying me.

"I just want to make sure you remember that this is just a girl's weekend," Rose said gently.

"So you don't want to get together with Edward and Emmett tonight?" I asked, realizing my voice sounded dreadfully sad and almost frantic.

"No. I want to see Emmett again… yeah, we're definitely getting together with them again, if we can. But what I'm saying is this is all supposed to be just for fun. That's it," she said.

"Okaaay," I said with a laugh, trying to hide the desperation her words evoked in me. I wasn't sure what she was trying to get at, other than trying to depress me by popping the little happy bubble I was in. I was trying my hardest to ignore the fact that in a couple days this would end and we'd go back to real life. The thought of going home and never seeing Edward again made me feel even more desperate to see him right that second. It felt like I _needed_ to see him, needed to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to smell his very own insatiable fragrance…

"I'm just saying, don't get too attached. I would love to see some guy make you deliriously happy, but these two are poster children for unattainable, unavailable guys. Take it for what it is, alright?" she said sternly.

"Sure," I said noncommittally.

"Bell, I've seen the way you look at him—I've never seen you like this before. There's more there than just eye-fuck lust. Just keep it in check, alright? Letting yourself fall for him isn't a good idea."

"Rose, I'm fine. You're imagining things," I scoffed.

_She wasn't imagining things_. A little voice in my head piped up.

"Bell..."

"Blah, blah, blah," I interrupted her, in a light smart-ass voice and a forced laugh that I'd hoped didn't sound like it was. She was too worried about me. I really liked Edward, but I wasn't falling for him. I wouldn't let that happen.

My attempt to lighten the mood worked. Rosalie broke into a laugh and I joined her.

"I promise. Really, okay? I'm fine," I said and then added, "If by some _miracle_ they actually do call us, to get together again tonight, I'll do my best to remember that this is just for fun. And if they don't call us," I began, but was distracted by my chest feeling like it'd just been filled with cement, at the thought of never seeing Edward again. It was everything I could do to not double over from the feeling. Crap. Rose was right to be worried. I forced myself to take a deep breath—hoping she didn't notice my distress—and continued, "we'll have one _amazing_ night that highlighted our trip. Satisfied?"

I smiled and stuck my tongue out at her, trying to hide the ache of sadness at the very real possibility of never seeing Edward again. I didn't need Rose's worries confirmed with me confessing that I could feel how easy it would be to fall for Edward. I was going to do everything I could to stay atop of the precarious ledge I teetered on and not fall off. I could tell that it wouldn't be easy. But I could do that. I would have to.

Rosalie narrowed her violet-blue eyes, "Sure," she said, but didn't sound convinced.

I'd have to prove it to her. _And I would._ I thought stubbornly.

"And seriously," she continued with an air of rightly deserved arrogance, "Why the hell wouldn't they want to get together with us again?"

"I know, we're simply amazing," I snorted, and my voice dripped thickly with false bravado.

"We are," she replied seriously to my joking remark. "So, Anthony wants to see you again too, does he?"

"Yes, _Edward_ asked if he could see me again tonight."

"Right. Edward," she corrected and then crinkled her nose. "You seriously like Edward better than Anthony?"

"Of course. It's like he let me see a little bit of the real him."

Rosalie smirked at me, but just as she opened her mouth to comment, the server came with our food, interrupting her.

"So, what do you think?" Rose asked as the server departed and we started on our food. "Should we tell them tomorrow night?"

"Why tomorrow? I told Edward we could meet tonight," I challenged, my voice betraying how horrified I was at the thought of having to wait until the next day to see him.

"We have tickets to see _Chicago_ on Broadway tonight, remember? The show isn't until eight o'clock. I don't know how long it will be, so I figured the night was probably a wash. And since we don't have anything specific planned for tomorrow, I figured then would be the best time."

Crap. I'd completely forgotten.

Honestly, I wanted to say screw the show, even though before I'd known I'd have the chance to spend an evening with Edward, I'd been as excited to see a show on Broadway as I'd been about anything we'd planned on doing while we were here.

"Oh," I said feeling deflated, realizing how much I was counting on seeing him again tonight. "Well this is all hypothetical right now, right? We don't even know if they'll call."

"Oh, they'll call," Rose smiled confidently and took a bite of her food.

Of course she was certain; every guy Rose ever gave her number to, called her. I wished I could have said the same. Well, I supposed I could have, but that was only because it was such a rare occurrence that my number was given to a guy at all.

As if on cue, not a minute later, my phone started singing my newest favorite song that was set as my ringtone. My heart lurched with a mixture of hope and fear. Nervous, trying to tell myself it was probably just Jake or Renee calling me, or work with some "urgent" problem, I pulled my phone out of my purse, noticing my hand was shaking as I looked at the screen to see who was calling.

"Who is it?" Rose prompted, noticing me staring stupidly at my phone.

"It's Edward," I breathed.

"Well answer it!" She demanded the obvious, not understanding why I was still staring at the phone like an idiot.

My chest felt tight and uneasy with nervous anticipation as I took a deep breath and pressed the button to answer the call, just before it rolled to my voicemail.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively.

"Bella?" Edward's velvet voice replied sounding hopeful.

With that one word, the tightness in my chest loosened and melted down to my stomach that was suddenly under attack by a flurry of butterflies. My heart started to race and my chest filled with a warm, happy feeling that I felt like I might explode from. It was one word, but it was everything because it was Edward and he was saying my name.

"Yes," I breathed, as I tried to recover from the swirling assault of fantasies of Edward breathing my name in a much different setting…

Oh God. Focus.

"Hey." His voice said, saturated with a mixture of pleasure and relief. "It's Edward. So, did you still want to get together again tonight?" He sounded hopeful and genuinely unsure, causing the butterflies in my stomach to ratchet their crazed fluttering up a notch.

"Yes," I breathed concretely as a huge, face-splitting grin spread across my face; Edward Cullen was calling me to go out with him.

_Breathe_ I told myself. Since I wasn't within smelling distance of Edward, the deep breath I took before I continued helped—though the memory of his fragrance danced in my nose.

"Definitely, but…" I trailed off biting my lip, not wanting to say the words. I wanted more than anything to say screw the damn show, but this vacation was supposed to be about me and Rose and, we'd already made plans to go. I'd be a horrid person and worse friend if I backed out on her—especially since I was not one to back out of a commitment.

My spirits dropped to the ground, depressed at the knowledge that I was actually not going to get to see Edward tonight.

"But…" Edward prompted.

"Well, I'd forgotten that Rose and I had already planned to go see a Broadway show tonight."

"Oh," he sounded genuinely disappointed. "That's alright Bella. I had a great time with you last night anyway. And you have my number if something works out another time while you're here, okay?"

_No!_

"Well, actually I was hoping that maybe we could still get together after the show lets out," I said hopefully. "We're seeing _Chicago _at eight o'clock, so whenever that gets done maybe we could meet up? Or would that be too late?" The mere second between my asking the question and his answer felt excruciatingly long.

_Say it won't be too late. Say it won't be too late. Say it won't be too late._ I chanted like a rosary.

"Actually, I'd love that, if you think you'd be up for it," he said, disappointment that had colored it a moment ago was washed away.

_Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!_

"Really?" I squeaked, revealing a bit too much of my excited relief—my body was practically vibrating.

Edward breathed a laugh in to the phone and I could picture him raking his hands through his unruly bronze-brown sex-hair. "Really," he replied with a smile in his voice. "I don't know if Emmett has called Rosalie yet about getting together tonight, but I know he was going to—seems they really hit it off."

"I'm not sure," I said, looking over at my friend who I'd found had abandoned her meal like I had and was talking on her cell, radiating so brightly I thought she might burst into flames at any second. "But she's on the phone right now, and if I were to make a bet as to who it is she's talking to, your brother would be at the top of my list."

"Good," he said sounding satisfied. "I'll give him a call in a bit—did you have any place in particular you wanted to go to?"

"Um, no, I don't. I could check with Rose to see if she does, but we only planned a few things and the rest we've kind of been winging it, so wherever."

"Alright. I have a couple of ideas for a late dinner then."

"Okay, do these ideas come with dress codes I should be aware of?" I asked.

"What were you planning on wearing to the show?" he said, deflecting my question with a question.

"Um, I think Rosalie is putting me in a dress," I said balking at the idea. I didn't really do dresses, but Rose kept trying to get me to finally get the allure of them.

Edward laughed at the obvious distaste in my tone. "Perfect. So, which theater is Chicago showing at?"

"At the Ambassador Theater," I said as a question, as I was uncertain. But Rose, who'd already hung up her phone, heard me and nodded her head yes. "Why?"

"I need to know where to pick you up," he replied, like it was obvious.

"Oh, you can just tell me where to meet up with you. You don't need to do that," I argued, feeling stupid for doing so, but at the same time it felt like an imposition, being catered to by having to be picked up at the theater. I didn't need him to go to any trouble.

"Yes I do, Bella," he insisted. "What kind of a guy would I be if I made a lady find her own way to a date? I'll pick you up at the Ambassador Theater after the show."

A date? My breath caught in my throat and I could feel my eyes go wide as I choked on the idea that I had a _date_ with Edward Cullen. Oh my God.

"Okay," I breathed, in concession.

"Good. You have my number, so give me a call when the show lets out and I'll let you know how to find me."

"Alright," I said, feeling the thrill of the mystery and secrecy in his words. A whirlwind of emotions raced through me, leaving me feeling like I was twirling, flipping and dangling in the air up-side-down all at once. It was incredible.

"I'll see you later then, Bella."

"Goodbye, Edward."

"Let me guess," Rose piped up, "Anthony wanted the same thing Emmett wanted… a date tonight," she stated insisting on continuing to call Edward, Anthony. She smiled surely and her voice rang thickly with confidence, like she knew with absolute certainty an answer to a question before it was asked.

"So you_ were_ talking to Emmett," I ascertained.

"The one and only," she confirmed. "I take it the four of us are set to meet up after the show then?"

I nodded with a grin.

"Well, Bell, it looks like we have some shopping to do," she beamed.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For something to wear tonight," Rose explained, like it should have been obvious.

"But I already have a new dress that you made me buy specifically for tonight," I protested.

"Oh, but Bella, we're not just going to a show and maybe to some bar or club for a couple drinks anymore. Tonight is going to be more than we ever thought. So naturally, we need dresses that are _more_."

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	10. Chapter 10 A Date

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**Chapter 10: A Date**

I had never felt so nervous before in my life as I stood in the Ambassador Theater restroom staring at my reflection. Suddenly, the slinky, black, strapless dress that Rosalie insisted was "made for me" and told me I had to buy, seemed far too tight and way too short. I began nervously alternating between pulling down the back hem, to make sure my hind end wasn't peeking out, and pulling up the front to make sure my chest was still covered—even though the dress hadn't budged an inch since zipping it up. I couldn't believe Rosalie had talked me into getting another dress when I had a perfectly fine dress in my hotel room that would now probably never get worn. But I succumbed to Rose's persuasion when I had stood there showing Rose the dress and a couple of girls—who could have easily been models—walked by, stopped and commented on how fabulous it looked on me.

Now I was suspicious that they were paid by the store—people who looked like random shoppers, paid to tell people they looked great in something they weren't sure about buying. If that job didn't exist, it probably should, because I'll be damned if right after that, I wasn't running my credit card through the machine.

Sigh.

More shocking than my caving into buying the unneeded dress, I'd actually bought new shoes I didn't need too. Rosalie insisted I _had _to have them because they made my legs "look like sex" and they "were as if they were made for my dress." They were more than I'd ever paid for shoes and higher heels than I'd ever before dared to venture into to top it off. But after my initial unsteadiness—wondering if tonight I would end up in an ER instead of with Edward—I was happily surprised to find I'd gotten used to them and barely fumbled now.

I had to admit, I did feel incredibly sexy in the dress and shoes—when I wasn't worried about my butt peeking out of the back, my breasts popping up out of the front or breaking an ankle with the heels, that is.

I had done up my eyes again, though not as dramatically as I'd done for the concert. "Subtly sultry," as Rose called it when she'd approved, voicing again her inability to understand if I was able to dress up my eyes so expertly, why I didn't do it more often. To my hair, I'd added root booster to give it volume, but otherwise left it alone, so it waved thickly, spilling over my shoulders and down my back.

Rose had found a blue dress that brought out her violet-blue eyes, making them practically glow. She pulled her hair loosely at the back of her head, leaving wavy, golden tendrils curling freely away from the knot. The final result: she looked effortlessly stunning, as usual.

The show had just let out and we'd made a quick stop at the restroom to freshen up. Ladies were filing in and out as I checked again, in the large, full length mirror in the sitting area of the room, to make sure my dress was still covering all my essential areas. Rose was touching up her eyes when she looked away from her own reflection and stared at mine.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked. "Call him."

Emmett had called Rose again earlier, while we were shopping and told her that he would be with Edward, waiting for us somewhere outside the Ambassador Theater. And since I'd already agreed to call Edward when the show let out, they kept that plan.

I shook myself out of my immobilizing fear and pulled my phone out of my purse—the one part of my ensemble I'd been able to convince Rose I could use out of what she'd already had me buy before the trip. It was a black clutch that had a small chain attached to the zipper. On the other end of the chain was a silver hoop that was just big enough to slip your hand through to wear it like a bracelet instead of having to hold onto it the entire time.

I took a deep breath, brought up Edward's number, said a silent prayer to a nameless, faceless deity, and for the first time, called him. I found myself holding my breath as I put the phone to my ear—the stress was so overwhelming I wondered if I was going to pass out. Even though I'd seen he'd called me from that very number earlier in the day, I had this horrible fear that it would be a disconnected or wrong number.

I could feel the sheen of nervous sweat threaten to break across my skin as I heard the first ring. Whatever deity who'd heard my prayer, answered it because before the phone had a chance to ring a second time, I heard Edward's velvety voice on the other end and I felt myself instantly relax for the briefest of seconds, before butterflies started assaulting me.

Edward explained how to find them, and signed off with the promise of seeing me in a minute.

"What's going on?" Rose demanded, concerned about my confused expression. "What did he say?"

Instead of replying, I shook my head and led the way out of the ladies room in search of what Edward had told me to look for.

I spotted the man almost immediately. He was standing right where Edward had said he'd be, near the exit doors. The tall, uniformed man, who appeared to be in his fifties, looked just as he was described. He was diligently scanning the crowd of people milling about and leaving the theater, as if looking for Rose and I, though I didn't know how this stranger would have been able to pick out a couple of women he'd never met before.

"Bell, seriously, what did he say?" Rose demanded, point-blank.

"I think we're supposed to tell that guy," I explained pointing out the uniformed man, "who we are and he will bring us to Edward and Emmett." The statement came out like a question with my uncertainty. It sounded ridiculous, like some cheesy super-spy movie and it didn't make any more sense when I had said it out loud—in fact, it made it sound even more peculiar.

"What?" Rosalie asked, confirming that it was not just me who felt the whole thing was odd.

I shrugged and led the way towards the man. There was only one way to find out if the instructions were kosher. Rose followed behind me curiously.

"Excuse me," I said to the gentleman who was still thoroughly scanning the crowd. Before I could say anything further, the man looked at me flashing me a relieved smile and spoke.

"Miss Bella and Miss Rosalie," he dipped his head, his voice full of recognition and relief.

"Yes," we admitted in tandem, both of our voices betrayed our confusion.

"How did you know who we were?" I asked feeling like it was a stupid question, but a bit unsettled that a man I didn't know from Eve, knew exactly who Rose and I were with one quick glance.

Rose shot me a confused glance full of questions, but I shook my head; I had no explanation.

"I've been expecting the two of you," he answered formally, as if that explanation answered my question. "This way, ladies."

"No," I pressed stupidly, as he led the way out, holding the doors for us. "I was told you were expecting us, but how did you know we were _who_ you were waiting for?"

"I remember you from last night, Miss Bella. I was driver who dropped you off at your hotel at the end of the evening," he answered with a simple smile, as if it was to be expected that he would remember us perfectly, as he forged ahead now that we were outside.

"Oh," I said lamely, trailing behind him, feeling a surge of guilt for having no memory of him, when he obviously remembered us, as if we'd known one another our entire lives. "Sorry, I guess I should have recognized you too." The man had even helped us out of the car when we were dropped off last night—well, this morning. I tried to make myself feel better by reminding myself that Edward had me in my own little world, but I still felt terrible. I had even spoken to him, but his features, hadn't registered.

Rosalie walked along beside me, listening to our exchange, but said nothing.

"Thank you miss, but your apology isn't warranted. It is _my_ job to not only be good at navigating the city, but to know names and faces. It's _your_ job to just enjoy the city. I wouldn't expect you to remember me," he said with a smile, as he stopped in front of a black limo with dark tinted glass and opened the door for us.

I stood there for a moment while he gave Rose a hand stepping into the car ahead of me. He had brown eyes, framed by crinkly smile lines, which made him seem cheerful even when not smiling. He was tall with dark grey hair—fatherly looking. I noticed the name tag he wore and caught the name as he moved to take my hand to help me into the vehicle: Charlie—the same as my dad's. Between his fatherly appearance and sharing my dad's name, I was positive he was now etched into my memory.

"Thank you Charlie," I said softly with a meek smile, not fully able to meet his eyes—still abashed, feeling bad for the faux pas of not remembering someone who remembered me.

"You are most welcome, Miss Bella," Charlie grinned wider with my effort to know his name.

I slid into the seat and Charlie closed the door behind me.

"Did you enjoy the show?" Edward's velvety voice rustled in my ear the moment the door was shut. I turned and was met by his shocking green eyes, mere inches from mine. They drew me in and melted me through in a way that already felt familiar. I drew in a sharp breath with the strength of the feeling, realizing my memory hadn't done them justice. And even better, my contented breath pulled in the blissful smell of sunshine and honey that was all Edward.

Mmmm…

"I did. Thank you." I said my voice unsteady with the last word as Edward leaned in to give me a chaste peck on the cheek that set me ablaze with desire, wanting to claim his mouth and taste him again.

"Hey spinner girl!" Emmett piped up saving me from pouncing on Edward. "Did you get littler since the last time I saw you?" He laughed. I looked up to see he and Rose were sitting tightly next to one another, limbs semi-entangled. I was just about to ask him point-blank what a spinner was, to end my curiosity once and for all, when Emmett turned to Edward, "Seriously, bro, she's got to be almost as little as Alice!"

I felt a wave of jealousy surge through me at the mention of another woman. Who was Alice? Emmett wouldn't bring up an ex-girlfriend of Edward's in front of me… would he? No.

Well… Edward did say Emmett didn't filter. Maybe he would.

"Em, please don't compare Alice to a spinner. It's bad enough you insist on calling Bella that when I really wish you wouldn't. Besides, Alice is a hyper little pixie. Bella's not a pixie," Edward piped up. I couldn't help but feel ten shades of jade of this Alice person.

"Ugh. For the record, I did _not_, nor would I ever, refer to Alice as a spinner—that would be just wrong. I compared Bella to Alice. You're right though, Bella's not a hyped up little pixie," Emmett conceded. "And what's so wrong with me calling Bella a spinner anyway? It's not a bad thing! And dude, you can't deny that she _is_ one," he added gesturing towards me as if whatever a spinner was, it was obvious I was one as he threw me a grin and a wink before turning back to Rose. He eyed her up and down appreciatively. He leaned in, whispered something into her ear and then began to enthusiastically kiss her neck.

Awkward. I looked away, uncomfortable with their display, and decided to not press the spinner comment until later. Besides, at least I knew now that Emmett considered it a compliment though I was confused as to why it would be wrong to call the Alice person one.

With the display Rose and Emmett were putting on, I wondered why Rose was so worried about _me._ Then I suddenly realized that Rose hadn't told me much of anything about her and Emmett and what did or didn't happen the night before between the two of them. She had been too wrapped up in finding new dresses all afternoon.

"You look… _amazing_," Edward said pulling me from my internal dialogue, sincerity dripping from his words, causing me to blush with my quickened pulse.

"Thank you," I mumbled, embarrassed by the compliment and fidgeted with my dress. "So do you," I admitted peeking up and was rewarded with my favorite crooked smile. It was nothing short of the truth. He did look amazing. He was wearing a pair of black pants and a button up dress shirt, partially undone, showing the smallest glimpse of a white undershirt, paired with his scruffy face and bronze hair that seemed constantly disheveled. He looked like…sex, simply ravishing.

And oh how I wanted to ravish him.

What was wrong with me? I'd never been like this before in my life! I'd always just figured I was the only person in my family that had been born without a raging sex drive. Renee and Charlie still embarrassingly acted like newlyweds a lot of the time. Renee was always dying to hear detailed "girl talk" from her daughters. In turn, Jess always dished her love-life details to Renee, her friend Lauren or myself without reservation, whether I wanted to hear it or not—and I never did want to hear about it, but always was made to. And then there was Jake who was about as bad as Mom and Dad were when he was around Leah. I had really never gotten the whole hand-holding thing or even touching much at all, in general. But now? With Edward? I would all but kill to have him hold my hand—to touch me in any and _every _way imaginable. Edward made all the difference. Edward made me come alive when I hadn't even known how stoic I'd been my whole life.

As if reading my mind, knowing my body begged for his touch, Edward reached over and casually rested his hand on my bare thigh, shooting a strong, burning desire through me, amplified by the fact that my mind was already on Edward and sex.

I found myself having to tie up and gag my newly discovered inner floozy, who had nearly succeeded getting me to grab Edward's hand and slide it up under the skirt of my dress, dragging it up that short distance and pressing his fingers against my sex.

I crossed my legs, clutched my purse and held the world's longest Kegel; holding reign over her. Then, when the car had stopped, arriving at a restaurant, Edward slid his hand down my leg, leaving a flash of heat followed by a trail of goosebumps in the wake of his fiery touch, to my knee where he finally pulled his hand away.

Edward exited and then turned to help me out of the car. But as soon as I stood, he dropped my hand, stepped away from me and shoved his hands in his pockets. I felt a wave of disappointment and hurt, as years of insecurities made me feel like he was embarrassed of me. I followed behind him trying to piece together his mood shift and mixed body signals, from just a moment ago in the car, until now.

We were seated in the back corner of the restaurant, not in a separate room this time, but in a spot that was semi obscured and away from most of the tables. The hostess led us around so we didn't walk by too many tables, only drawing a small amount of chattered attention, as we passed through to where we were seated.

The conversation between Edward and I flowed as easily as it had the night before. We laughed, joked and, more than once, locked eyes so intently that Rose and Emmett—and once the wait staff—had to break us out of our electric moment. But yet, despite what his eyes were saying, the fact he seemed intently fascinated about every mundane facet of my existence, or his flirting, many of his answers and explanations were still stilted and cryptic, and even more confusing, it seemed as if he was determined to not touch me—going out of his way in fact.

The mixed signals I was getting from him confused me and festered doubt. Plus, being in his presence without his touch, made me realize just how addicted to it I had become. Being without it felt like being denied air—critical for survival and torturous to endure.

Then there were also times where it felt as if he was saying goodbye. Or as if he was trying to tell me I should stay away from him. But then in the next breath, telling me he hoped he could see me again before Rose and I left the city. The inconsistencies were puzzling me to no end.

"Hey," Edward said, calling my attention out of my endless looping questions as he swiped his thumb across the crease between my eyebrows, smoothing it out and leaned towards me. His touch made my body gasp, as if drawing in a life-saving breath and shot a thrill through my entire body, settling deep inside me. Edward dropped his hand just as I met his eyes. "Is there something the matter?" He asked and his forehead creased in confusion. "You were lost in thought that seemed upsetting to you."

"No," I said shaking my head. There really wasn't anything the matter, I just was having trouble piecing things together, getting them to make sense. Trying to figure him out. "I'm fine," I smiled.

"Bell?" Rose interrupted. "I'm going to go freshen up. Did you want to join me?"

"Sure," I acquiesced, grabbed my purse, and tried to discreetly check to make sure that my hind end was covered by the dress, as I stood up. When we were out of earshot of the guys, I complained, "I don't know how you talked me into this dress, Rose, it's _way_ too short!"

"No. It's not at all. It's perfect," she disagreed. "You look unbelievable in it. Besides, it makes your legs look a mile long. You have great legs; you should show them off more often." She threw me a smile as she opened the bathroom door and added, "You'd be fighting guys off left and right all the time if you made skirts and dresses part of your regular wardrobe, you know."

I scoffed at Rosalie's claim. I doubted that. I still was trying to figure out what miracle had occurred to have Edward wanting to have my company because I'd never done anything in my life good enough to deserve this. I was sure of it.

"So," Rose said after noting that the bathroom was empty, save us. Then she turned about-face on me so fast that I nearly collided with her not expecting her to do so. "Would you care if Emmett and I split?"

"I don't know Rose," I said trying to sound serious, but not quite succeeding, then completely botching it by cracking a smile. "No, go ahead; I don't need to witness any more of you two practically pawing over one another. Where are you going to go?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. He mentioned some place he and Anth—Edward were going to take us to after here, but to be honest with you, I would be surprised if we make it that far," Rosalie confessed, unabashedly.

"Really?" I asked, as Rose practically glowed in anticipation. "Well who am I to stand in the way of you fulfilling the top item of your "To Do" list?" I laughed.

Rose did one last glance in the mirror—flawless, naturally. "Oh that was accomplished last night," she said nonchalantly, turning to head out of the bathroom. "It was just so good I _have _to go back for more," she added in a matter-of-fact tone, as if she'd been discussing food and not sex.

My jaw dropped as the door shut between us, leaving me in shock. After a moment, realizing I wasn't beside her, Rose poked her head back in, "Are you coming?" she smirked.

"You're kidding?" I breathed.

"No," she said seriously, shaking her head with a smile walking back into the ladies room. "Not everyone is sweet and innocent like you, Bell. Not that it's a bad thing that you're the way you are. I'm not saying that at all, because I kind of wish I was more like you in that way sometimes. But damn it, sometimes a girl just needs to get laid," she said. "So are you going to hang out in the ladies room for the rest of the night, or are you going to come with me back to the table?"

"When the hell did that happen? We were all together the entire night!"

"Let's just say that during the second band's performance, we took advantage of the fact that the VIP room has its own private stairway. Did you know that you can get backstage from those stairs?" she admitted unabashed.

I remembered noting Rose looked practically glowing with her hair up in a messy knot before we headed down to watch Rules of Caius. I'd figured it was just the rush of the fact of who we were hanging out with; apparently it was a post-coital glow.

"Holy crow!" I exclaimed.

"That doesn't even cover it. It was the hottest fucking lay I've ever had—including Jake—which honestly I'd come to terms a long time ago with the fact that he wasn't ever going to be topped."

"Ugh, Rose, I'm well aware of your verdict on how sex was with my brother. I _really_ don't need to be reminded of it," I cringed.

When Rose and I'd begun to hang out, I'd made an attempt to get my two best friends—my brother, Jake and Rosalie—to become friends too. Unfortunately, it backfired; they hated one another and fought incessantly. From the first words they had exchanged they rubbed eachother wrong and it was if they were determined to disagree about everything. That was until Rose came to me one morning, after another night of trying to force the two of them to hang out together, apologizing profusely. She'd explained that after I'd gone to bed—tired of their bickering—one minute they were passionately screaming at one another in an argument and the next they were in the heat of passion. She was afraid I'd hate her for sleeping with my brother, but I was too dumbstruck to feel anything but shock. As soon as she realized I didn't hate her, she had begun blurting out all the explicit sexual details that no sister should ever have to be privy too and that I'd never be able to un-hear. Then she wrapped up her over share by exclaiming she was relieved that I didn't hate her because it had been _the_ hottest sex she'd ever had and definitely wanted to do that again. And unfortunately, since then, she has compared every one of her lovers to him.

Fun for me.

They'd hooked up several times after that too—basically the same scenario replayed—but they had continued to never got along outside of the bedroom, to have had it go anywhere beyond sex.

Then Jake met Leah and he never looked away. Since then, Jake and Rose had developed a more easy camaraderie—almost like family with friendly banter. Jake still doesn't know that Rose ever told me about it, and I'd found out from Leah that she doesn't know about what had gone on between the two of them. She'd mentioned once in conversation with me that she and Jake knew there were people before one another, but they never got into who was in one another's pasts because it didn't matter—it was the past. And that knowing would just cause animosity they didn't need. Besides, who was I to tell her anyway—especially since she didn't want to know?

"Why didn't you say anything before?" I asked pulling my feet from their cemented spot on the floor to step out of the ladies room following Rose.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I was going to. But Edward called you and then I got so caught up in getting ready for tonight, I forgot to mention it, I guess."

"Forgot to mention _that_?" I asked in disbelief.

Rose just shrugged her shoulders, but otherwise didn't reply. We looked at each other and were overcome by a fit of giggles as we walked to the table. I couldn't help but smile. I was happy for her; after all she'd been through with Royce she deserved some fun and happiness.

When we arrived back at the table, I immediately sat back down, but Rose stood beside her chair and motioned to Emmett to leave. He practically leaped up out of his seat—and I now was pretty certain why.

With hasty goodbyes, they were gone.

"Did you want another drink while we wait for the other car so we can head to the next place?" Edward asked. "I just called for one. It'll be a few minutes. Sorry that we have to wait for it, I thought all of us were going. I didn't know Emmett was going to take off with Rosalie."

"That's okay, I didn't either until a minute ago," I promised. "A drink would be great."

Edward flagged down the server prompting him for another drink for the each of us.

The obvious reason Emmett and Rose left hung in the air and left questions of wants and expectations swirling around us, in between the quiet chatter and clinking of dishes of other couples enjoying their late evening meals. It was the first time that we had something of an uncomfortable silence between us.

"So, where did you grow up?" I asked wanting to dispel the awkwardness and restore the ease we seemed to find with one another.

Edward looked at me confused and taken aback by my simple question. His intensely green eyes bore into mine. "You're serious," he said finally, as the server delivered our drinks.

"Um, yeah, but if you don't want to share that, it's fine," I said worried that my seemingly simple and innocent question was treading on territory that was off limits.

"No. It's not that. It's just that it's been _so_ long since anyone has asked me that. It's been a long time where it has felt like the entire world knows every nuance about me that nothing is mine to share anymore because it's already out there, known by everyone," he said sounding baffled. Then he smiled my favorite crooked smile that made my heart practically leap from my chest. "I was born in Chicago. My family lived there until I was almost a teenager when my dad got a job over in London, England—he's a surgeon—so we lived there for a hand-full of years. Then we moved back to the US in California. Actually my dad took a job in California specifically because Em and I were already both getting serious about acting, and there's no better place to go if you want to act. My parents were amazing, doing that for us; we completely owe our success to their support and belief in us. It actually worked out for my little sister too—who at the time had pouted incessantly about leaving London. Alice ended up being able to get into designing clothes because of an opportunity she'd gotten in California, so she's since forgiven us," he chuckled. His face radiated with obvious pride of his little sister.

I could feel my jealousy instantly disappear over the Alice that was mentioned earlier, finding out that it was their sister and Emmett hadn't mentioned some ex of Edward's.

"It was when we lived over in London," Edward continued, "that Emmett and Demetri became friends, being as how they were schoolmates. And it was then, when I was, for a brief time, in a garage band with Dem and Felix—as you found out last night. Technically, Em was in it too for a while, but that didn't last long since he wasn't serious about playing," he laughed, "He just wanted to pick up girls."

"You never said," I asked taking a drink, "what instruments do you play? I would assume with being in a band like that, you play the guitar?"

"I do," he admitted. "I also play bass and the piano. My mom made all three of us kids take piano lessons. Alice plays exceptionally, but Emmett pitched such a fit to Mom when we were younger about it that she let him quit his lessons," he breathed a laugh at the memory. "But Em started guitar lessons when I started those. He liked the guitar fairly well, because 'chicks dig the guitar,'" he said impersonating his brother's voice, "so he did stick with that, and is actually pretty good at it."

"So who's better, you or Emmett?" I smirked raising an eyebrow in a playful challenge watching him take a drink, reveling in how a man's neck could be so beautiful arched back. I was instantly swirled into a flurry of dizzying images.

Edward breathed a laugh and ran his hand through his hair breaking me from my fantasies. "At the piano, I am without question, but then again Emmett's skills on the piano have only remained to the extent of chopsticks, as he refuses to acknowledge he remembers anything further than that. But as for the guitar, that remains to be seen for certain. Em likes to talk that he can keep pace with me or sometimes claim that he's better—depending on the day—but it's been years since he's agreed to go head-to-head to find out, because I think he knows I can kick his ass." We both laughed and he added, "Honestly, he probably would be a better guitarist than me if he played even half as much as I do. Emmett has down time and he feels like he has to go out, party, and see people. I have free time and I sit down and play."

"So do you travel with a guitar then?" I asked.

"Almost always, yes. Or I stay in a room that has a piano, if I can," he admitted. "I feel off if I don't have something to play for any length of time."

"They have pianos in hotel rooms?" I asked distracted, revealing how little I've traveled, and how I've never traveled "well."

"Some, yes," he laughed lightly and looked directly into my eyes. "Actually, there's one in the room where I'm staying."

"Would you let me come hear you play?" I asked eagerly. The words were out before I realized it. His eyes locked into mine made me blurt things without thinking.

Did he realize the power he held within him? His shocking green eyes alone were inhibition releasing.

"You want to go to my room to 'hear me play,' huh?" Edward laughed and my cheeks lit on fire when I realized just what I'd said and how it sounded like I was fishing for an invitation up to his hotel room.

Shit. Oh God, no! Well…_yes_ actually...

What was I saying? No!

"That came out wrong!" I insisted. "I mean, I really _would_ love to hear you play, but I wasn't trying to get you to—ugh. Forget I said anything. I'm such an idiot. God, I'm so embarrassed," I rambled and put my face in my hands.

"You are _not_ an idiot," Edward insisted, sounding upset. Then pulled my hands away from my face, and covered mine with his, as they laid on the table, causing me to look back up at him, "and while I can't imagine why you'd want to, because it's not nearly as exciting as it apparently seems like it would be—trust me—but if that's what you want, I'll play for you."

He smiled sweetly as he intensely stared into my eyes, making my knees go weak. My heart lurched and began to gallop.

I bit my lip to hide how big my smile was and nodded eagerly.

Edward shook his head and breathed a laugh. "Alright. But remember, I warned you," he teased with a grin.

His cell phone rang shortly after. The car was there to pick us up. He informed the driver of the change in plans that we were to head back to his hotel, pulled out some cash from his wallet, placed it in the bill folder at the edge of the table and stood. I moved to follow, rising from my chair as Edward pulled out my chair for me. I blushed, realizing I couldn't remember the last time—if ever—I'd had my chair pulled out for me. It made me feel... _special_. I bit my lip to hide my grin as I tried to discreetly tug on the hem of my dress.

I turned to him to thank him as we headed into the main area of the restaurant, but his expression caught me off guard as he looked past me with an expression of anger. He muttered a curse under his breath, and I followed his gaze.

Paparazzi could be seen milling about the exit and peering in the windows.

"I'm so sorry Bella. The car is out front, we're going to have to go through them," he whispered to me, glancing contemptuously at the growing number of cameramen that had spotted him and were trying to take pictures through the glass. "Just don't say anything, keep your head down so you're not blinded by flashes and stay right next to me. The car is right in front of the doors, we'll go straight for the car. It'll be okay. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I answered without hesitation. I did trust him. I trusted him implicitly.

Edward glanced down at me and his look of annoyance and worry that was spurred from the paparazzi, vanished as he met my eyes. A smile spread across his face that made him look so striking that it caused me to let out my breath.

He placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me out of the establishment, pausing at the doors flashing me an apologetic and reassuring smile before walking out.

The number of paparazzi felt like they tripled as they swarmed in on us. They were everywhere and were loudly asking question on top of question, every one of them talking over the other. Many of the questions I could make out were asking who I was and if Anthony and I were together, but he didn't breathe a word to them and neither did I.

He'd been right, even looking down, the bright flashes were disorienting. Panic flooded through me. Edward seemed tense too, but he must have still been able to sense my panic because just as my body stiffened, he began to rub soothing circles into my back with his thumb, that instantly put me at ease.

The driver—a different one than Charlie, as he had probably taken Emmett and Rose wherever they were headed—was waiting for us and quickly opened the door to admit us into the car. Edward had me go in first and quickly slipped in right after me. I could hear the driver beg off the photographers as he quickly shut the door behind us. Edward locked it as soon as it was closed and turned to me.

"Are you alright?" he asked grabbing my hand and studying my face. His concern was severe and for some reason it completely turned me on.

I nodded dumbly, finding my voice was caught in my throat. I was so completely overwhelmed and felt the burning of unshed tears behind my eyes. My emotions were everywhere.

The car pulled away from the curb and began rolling along the city roads.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that," he narrowed his eyes looking harder at me as if making sure I really was okay. "It's pretty unnerving, especially at first."

"I'm fine," I lied pushing past my flood of emotion the commotion had caused.

But then it hit me, my whole body felt alive—electric and I was acutely aware that we were alone. Even the partition that separated us from the driver was up. It was just Edward and me.

I could feel the electricity between us begin to hum as we stared at one another, as if the realization had become tangible. The photographers were quickly forgotten and all that was left was Edward. I found the knowledge of being absolutely alone with him, combined with how protective he'd been and now the way he looked at me, was so thrilling and turned on so much I seriously wondered if one simple touch from him would put me over.

Edward reached up and grazed my cheekbone with his thumb as if reading my mind, challenging the theory. I felt a surge in want, and gasped in a breath, but reigned control over myself holding it together. He looked into my eyes for a moment longer in hesitation, wearing that warring expression I had already become familiar with. He moved closer, just not touching me, still staring into my eyes. This time it was as if making sure that it was okay with me, as if not knowing if I'd want him to kiss me again even after the way I'd kissed him the night before. I didn't know what I looked like, if the raging want for him was as evident as it felt, but whatever he saw there must have convinced him to proceed because he closed that last slip of distance and his lips were on mine, relieving me of my need for him that had become so severe I ached from it. My tongue grazed his lips, and he quickly opened them to me reaching his out to meet mine. As our tongues twisted and swept against the other, I found that his mouth tasted even better than his lips.

He let out a sound something akin to a growl and then his hand slid around my waist pulling me closer to him deepening our kiss, pressing our bodies against the other as best as the seat would allow. Too soon, he pulled back, just enough to break the kiss.

"Bella," he breathed my name like a caress.

Breathing heavily with need for him, I opened my eyes to the sound of my name and was greeted with his, burning with want and flaming with desire.

It was then the realization hit me—Edward was taking me to his hotel room. And for the first time in my life, I wanted, with every fiber of my being, _everything_ that was typically insinuated with it.

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**Thanks, as always, MC for betaing!**

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	11. Chapter 11 Living in the Moment

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 11: Living in the Moment**

As we stared into one another's eyes, I watched the burning desire in his change, and the tortured look I'd come to know, return for a brief second before he closed his addictive green eyes, denying me my drug. His lips pressed together and he squeezed his eyes, as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he let out a long breath.

"I'm sorry," Edward muttered. But sorry for what, I didn't know.

Sorry for kissing me? I wasn't sorry about that.

Sorry for stopping? He could quite easily make that right.

Sorry for something else entirely? If that was it, I didn't know what that could be.

Then he opened his eyes, glancing at me quickly, not quite meeting my eyes, before turning to stare out the window. In that brief second as his eyes flashed to me, I saw that they were now cooled and controlled.

_Damn it!_ My inner floozy swore. Then she turned and grappled at Edward's collar, begging him to screw control; to let go of whatever it was that held him back, and take her _right then and there_.

I had no judgment for her this time. I found that I felt the same way she did and if I could figure out how to be as bold as my inner floozy was, I would have done it. But to my disappointment, I was not such a woman. Instead I sat there mute and wounded, staring at my lap, wishing I was able to understand him.

I looked back up to Edward, noticing that his demeanor was calm and casual, but his hands were balled into tight fists.

More confused than ever, I turned forward and clutched my purse in my lap and chewed on my lip. My self-esteem took a dive, as my insecurities flourished.

Had I done something wrong? I couldn't think of one thing I'd done that would be just cause for this behavior, but yet he was acting so strange, so I must have done _something_.

The car stopped, Edward unlocked his door just before it was opened by the driver. Edward exited the car and turned to help me out, but quickly dropped my hand and stepped away, keeping a small distance between us.

He was so hot and cold. I didn't know which way was up or down.

As I stepped away from the car, I looked around curiously. Whatever hotel this was, we were not at the front lobby entrance. My eyes swept the surroundings, finding it to be some dank, dimly lit, cavernous, cemented parking garage, of some sort.

The driver shut the car door and loped back to the driver's seat to drive away. The glass door ahead of us was opened by a uniformed man, who greeted us into a large, posh elevator waiting area that was warm and welcoming, complete with an edgy couch and end tables topped with fresh vases of fresh, exotic flowers that filled the space with a light, pleasant fragrance.

"Good evening Mr. Cullen," the man welcomed warmly. He then gestured for us to enter an elevator, already called and waiting. He entered behind us, holding a card in his hand and reached up to a reader near the floor buttons, but Edward shook his head and called him off, telling the man he was fine. The man stopped mid-motion, put the card away, and dipped his head, conceding the request, then stepped out of the elevator, back into the waiting area and bid us a goodnight.

The doors closed, separating us from the uniformed man, leaving us in the elevator, alone. I felt the electric hum—begging me to touch him, kiss him, feel him, anything to close the small space between us—heighten. Edward pulled out a card from his wallet, swiped it into a reader, then selected the very top button labeled PH and slipped the card back into his wallet.

He backed up and leaned against the hand railing that lined the walls in the opposite corner of the elevator that I stood, his eyes closed and his hands clasped the rail so tightly, his knuckles were white. He looked severe, almost angry. I couldn't help but wonder if he was regretting agreeing to bring me here. When he opened his eyes, but didn't look in my direction, managing to look everywhere but—quite the feat considering the small space we were enclosed in.

Confusion was my companion for the duration of the ascent, as Edward, distant and quiet, appeared to struggle with whatever it was that I couldn't figure out.

The elevator chimed, signaling that it was about to arrive at the floor. A few seconds later, the elevator stopped and the doors parted, opening to a light, quiet, generic but elegantly designed hallway.

I hesitated, not certain that I should exit, I waited for Edward's cue.

Edward drew in a deep breath and straightened upright. He then finally looked over at me, his features softened the very moment he did, and a crooked smile melted across his face. He lightly jerked his head toward the elevator doors and reached out his hand, sliding it across my low back. The hum I felt between us heightened and seemed to thicken to something almost tangible.

"Come on," he whispered softly. His sudden change of emotion sent me into another tailspin of confusion.

What was with him? Did the one guy that woke me up and turned me on in more ways than I could have ever imagined, have a multiple personality disorder or something?

I almost laughed aloud with how unfunny the possibility was, because that would be just my luck.

Leave it to me to go nuts over the nut job.

I sighed.

The hallway was quiet; the only sound was our movements as we walked down the short way to the door he stopped us in front of. He pulled out the same card he'd used in the elevator and slid it into the door, opened it and gestured for me to proceed ahead of him, as he slid it back into his wallet. I obeyed, walking into the dark room.

"Here we are," Edward said flipping on several lights.

The room was no room at all. I was in an entryway of sorts, of a place that looked much more like a large, posh apartment, than anything else.

I fleetingly wondered if my entire apartment could fit into just the living room of the place alone.

Lush, light carpeting draped across the floors, stretching in each direction of the place, giving it an inviting, homey feel—though I'd never seen a home this stunning.

The entry led up to a living room that had a corner built-in fireplace, with a flat screen TV above it, both nestled in to a beautiful, built-in surround. Up on a raised area, between the living room and dining room, sat a beautiful baby grand piano. Off the dining room was a small kitchen with a set of stools nestled up to the counter and on the other side of the living room stretched a small wet bar—the only two areas not carpeted, but beautifully tiled. Just past that was a semi-closed door leading into a dark room that I could only assume was the bedroom.

A shiver of desire spun down my spine at the thought of Edward's bedroom.

Multiple personality disorder or not; my entire being still wanted him more than I'd ever thought it was possible to want someone; no matter the cost, I knew I couldn't walk away from that. Though, to be honest, I was starting to almost hate myself for not being strong enough to be able to.

I shook off the thought. It did no good to hate myself for having feelings I couldn't control. I didn't need to make myself more miserably tortured.

Looking around the space, I noticed that lightly colored window treatments covered the entire wall opposite the door, running along the entire space from the fireplace all the way to the far side of the dining area. I couldn't help but wonder what the view looked like from up here and why he would have such a thing obscured.

Everything was eloquently decorated to the point that I was afraid to touch anything, for fear I might break or stain it. So, I stayed standing where I was, in the middle of the entryway, next to a small table. I heard Edward laid his wallet on the table beside me, which also housed a large, brown, crackle-stained pot with long, decorative, dried flora and fauna standing upright from it

"I know, it's a bit ostentatious," Edward laughed turning to me. "Come on in," he said touching my shoulder, letting his hand casually skim down my arm, setting the skin he touched ablaze, as he stepped away to head towards the bar. "Can I get you something to drink?"

An internal battle between my logical side and my inner floozy immediately sprung up with this question. My logical side argued that I should have a water or soda so I didn't get drunk and do something to embarrass myself. Floozy Bella insisted that another drink or two would help me loosen up and let her take control, which would do me some good.

I could feel the light warmth of the wine I'd been drinking at the restaurant and I knew just one more glass and I could be throwing caution into the wind.

"Sure," I said as I set my purse on the entry table and followed his direction to the bar. I opened my mouth to request a glass of wine, spotting the full wine rack, but the words, "water would be great, thanks," came out instead.

My inner floozy huffed, glared nastily, crossed her arms and tapped her foot at me. My logical side smirked, pleased.

I guess I needed an extra glass of wine to just simply have the courage to go for the extra glass of wine that would let Floozy Bella take the reins.

Edward smiled, pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to me.

"So, what are you going to play?" I asked, as my curiosity flamed while he pulled out a bottle of water for himself and walked around the bar to the side I stood on.

He chuckled lightly, "You actually do want to hear me play, huh?" he asked raking his hand through his unruly bronze brown hair. He smirked and then laughed again more freely this time. "Well, this is your request, so you choose," he said looking into my eyes, causing my jaw to go slack and my breath to let out. "Was there something you particularly wanted to hear?"

"I want to hear something that's yours, something you wrote," I said, dazzled by his eyes into speaking truthfully, remembering him telling me he's written songs. A blush quickly followed my overly truthful reply.

"Something I wrote," he repeated studying my face. I wasn't sure what he was looking for there, but he must have found it, because he then nodded once, as if satisfied with whatever it was. "Did you have a preference over the piano or guitar?"

His question took me off guard. My head jerked back slightly with confusion and then around the room to search for the guitar I'd not seen. When my eyes laid on the piano, I found it. The guitar lay propped up on a stand that sat between the piano and the shaded window; I hadn't been able to see it from the entryway.

Edward waited patiently, with amusement written on his face, for my reply.

"I suppose I'd be pushing my luck if I were to ask you to play them both," I said leaving almost a question at the end, cautiously hopeful that I wasn't asking too much.

"You can have anything you want, Bella," he said softly. His voice was casual, but there was an undertone of emotion there I couldn't quite name.

Edward took a drink and set his water down on the coffee table. He stepped up to the raised area and bent forward to grab his guitar, affording me with the most marvelous view of his butt.

Oh God.

There had never been another being that had ever graced the face of this earth that had a sexier ass than Edward. I was absolutely certain of it.

He then straightened with the guitar in one hand and turned around to face me.

I quickly pulled my composure together, just in time for him to look up at me through his impossibly long lashes. Then, he pulled the piano bench out and sat down, facing away from the keys. Feeling silly for standing there, I walked to the sofa that faced him and sat down, feeling glad I'd chosen water as that didn't stain if I spilled it.

Edward began to pluck at the strings, making minor tuning adjustments. There was something sensual with the way he moved; adjusting the guitar, plucking the strings. When he was done adjusting the sound of each string, he made one long strum along all the chords. Watching him went right through me and I found myself shifting in my seat.

"Something I wrote, huh?" he asked looking up at me with a playful narrowing of his eyes.

I nodded, forcing myself still.

"As you wish, Bella," he said, paused for a moment, readying his fingers on the strings and began to play.

I was mesmerized.

I hadn't thought that the beautiful creature that was Edward could become more so to me, but the way he lost himself in the song, and hearing the music he played with his long, nimble fingers was breathtaking and completely sexy. And then knowing he had written the beautiful sounds, made me feel awestruck and insignificant at the same time.

Was there anything he couldn't do?

When the song ended I had the urge to clap, but felt too silly to do so. Instead I forced myself to find my voice.

"Edward, that was… amazing," I breathed honestly, unable to come up with a better adjective to describe how extraordinary it really was.

"Thank you," he said, breathing a small laugh. He smiled, accepting my compliment gracefully, though seeming a bit embarrassed to do so.

"Really, I don't think there would be a soul who wouldn't fall in love with that song…" I trailed off unable to find words to express it right. "Do you have lyrics written for it?"

"That melody was stuck in my head like a weed, demanding my attention and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out. But the words to accompany it have continued to elude me. Maybe someday I'll figure them out," he said with an air of regret in his voice that he couldn't find the words to match with the music, "or maybe it just was meant to be as it is, without lyrics."

"Would you play another one, please?" I pleaded, realizing I had become addicted to his music. Just as everything else about him—I needed more.

He pulled his hand through his hair before glancing up at me, flashing my favorite crooked smile. He looked as in debate for a moment and then grinned mischievously.

My interest piqued as I watched him strum out the first several notes and tried figure out what the mischievous look was about. My debate was abruptly abandoned when I was distracted by the fact that I recognized the song—it was one of my favorite Rules of Caius songs.

I laughed. "Not fair! That's cheating!" I piped up, interrupting his playing. "You should have known I would be able to call you out on that one, that's a Rules of Caius song!" I rebuked him teasingly. "Did you really think I wouldn't recognize one of their songs? Or were you seeing if I was paying attention?"

"You're right, that _is_ a song Rules of Caius came out with," he laughed teasingly, clearly enjoying his own joke as he resumed playing the song.

His words took a moment to sink in. "Are you serious?" I asked skeptically. "You're telling me you wrote that?"

"You don't think I could have? I have to say I'm rather offended," he said sounding serious and hurt, but continued to effortlessly and flawlessly play the tune.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," I said a bit miffed.

He laughed again, breaking his façade of a wounded ego. It was louder and freer than I'd heard him laugh before. The sound was almost as beautiful as the notes he played and it annoyed me further that I couldn't stay angry at him for messing with me.

"I know," he paused. "You know, you're rather cute when you're angry?" He grinned.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"But yes, I am serious, this song is one of my favorite pieces," he admitted. "And this one," he added, picking his fingers over the guitar strings, changing the notes from the song he'd been playing, to another I too readily recognized.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Really," he said still playing. "I've written several of their songs." He clenched his jaw as if wishing he could take back what he'd just said.

"How did I not know that? They're one of my favorite bands. Besides, I would think that something like you writing songs for them would be something the media would have crawled all over by now," I challenged.

"Well, I've gone to great lengths to make sure that exact thing didn't happen. And immensely glad I did. You can imagine all too well, how they would pick apart every last one of the songs and what kind of garbage they'd claim that they each meant. I'm sure they'd claim I've had even more engagements, weddings, near-weddings, divorces, hookups and lovechildren than they've already fabricated," he groaned as he rolled his eyes and shook his head, disgusted at the thought. "No. One of the best things I've done was making sure I had a non-disclosure clause on my song writing. Plus, especially now, I love knowing that a song is a success because of the song itself, and not because it had my name attached to it."

"I'll take it to the grave," I vowed.

He continued to play out the song through the chorus and I got lost in the beauty of him playing, until he broke the spell over me by adding, "You know, I'm actually kind of surprised it's not come out. But then again, other than my family, maybe only a dozen people know—like Dem and Felix, of course."

"Not that I'm complaining… but if it's something you keep so guarded, why would you tell me then?" I asked unable to understand why he'd divulge something he obviously considered so protected and private with me; someone he barely knew.

He laughed without humor. "That's one of the problems, I seem to always say too much when I'm talking to you," was his simple reply. He sighed, finishing out the last few notes of the song and shook his head. Finished with the song, he set down the guitar.

Say too much? Was he serious? Other than the enormous confession he'd just divulged, I felt like I knew next to nothing about him. He always gave cryptic replies and stilted answers, or redirected the conversation away from himself and onto me. If he thought he said too much to me, he must really be the recluse that Emmett had accused him of.

Edward stood up and walked over to me. "Come here," he said softly, as a request, reaching out his hand in offering. I stood from the couch and took it; feeling the electric surge I'd expected, pass through our hands. He gave my hand a light squeeze, led me to the piano bench and then let go of it as he slid onto the far side of the bench facing the keys this time. He offered his hand to me again with a simple request, "Would you sit with me?"

"Won't I be in your way?" I asked feeling like I would be very much in the way.

"Not at all," he promised. "Besides, you were much too far away over there. I feel better when you're right beside me."

For the fraction of a second, I wondered if maybe that was one of the things he'd meant when he'd mentioned he said too much to me. But I was quickly distracted from that thought, when his emerald eyes looked up at me bashfully and a timid smile played his lips, causing my heart to leap up into my throat. It felt like I was going to choke on the thing, which worried me because I most definitely did not need Edward to have yet _another_ memory of me coughing and gagging—the one he'd already had was one too many. Thankfully, I felt it drop back down in my chest, but as soon as it did, it began to beat so ferociously loud, it was as if someone was holding a microphone up to the thing. I fervently hoped he couldn't hear it as I granted his request and sat beside him.

Edward hummed a sound of contentment.

"What?" I asked baffled, feeling self-conscious about my racing heart.

"You look especially beautiful when you're blushing," he admitted and then smiled wider when his compliment made my cheeks grow redder.

"Now, what to play for you next…" he contemplated, his fingers hesitating just over the keys.

Edward smiled softly and then his fingers began to dexterously move across the keys. The song was complex, but relaxing and tranquil. It was definitely one I'd never heard before, but very much hoped I could hear again sometime.

"This one is my mother's favorite," he admitted finally.

I felt a twinge, touched that he would think to play something as personal as his mother's favorite song that he'd written. I sat in awe watching the way he played and it held me captivated, as he played out the last of song.

"I can see why," I admitted. "It's lovely."

He smiled, breathing a small laugh, surely to a private joke that was brought about by something I said. But when I looked up at him to ask I was snared into his eyes. As they lingered on me, I could feel the humming between us ratchet up a few notches causing me to have to work harder at keeping myself from doing something rash.

"There's one that's brand new," Edward spoke, breaking the trance between us. "It's far from complete, but the little I have so far has been stuck in my head constantly the last couple days. You can be the first to hear it if you'd like, and tell me what you think," he said suddenly looking nervous, as if he almost wished he wouldn't have brought it up.

"I'd love that," I admitted, for some reason feeling suddenly nervous myself, but I had no idea why.

Edward looked over at me for a beat longer, as if debating on whether he was going to actually play it for me or not. I couldn't help but blush at his scrutiny of whatever he was searching for in my face. Seeing the blush stain my cheeks, he raised his hand to my face and dragged his finger along my cheek, smiling warmly; the feeling shot straight to my core, remembering his comment on my blushing. Then, he turned back to the keys and began to play.

The song—incomplete or not—was moving; it was melancholy but sweet, and somehow also haunting and sensual. I could feel the emotion emanating through the music, so much so that I didn't know whether it was going to make me cry or finally throw myself at him.

"It's not much, I know," he said in explanation when he drew his hands away from the keys and onto his lap, "but—"

His explanation was cut off by my lips that were suddenly on his.

Throwing myself at him it was, then. Apparently I didn't need more wine… or Floozy Bella, just Edward's enchanting songs.

He started in surprise to my sudden attack, but a second later I heard him hum lightly in contentment and felt his hand slide along my neck and into my hair.

I reached up to grab a hold of his bronze hair, to pull him more securely to me when I realized how rashly I'd acted. My hands, mid-movement to his hair, stopped and instead pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.

"I'm so sorry," I said feeling embarrassed, blushing crimson and covering my mouth with my hands.

Edward chuckled and removed my hands from my face, holding them in his. "Don't be sorry for that," he insisted. "And I must say that if this is your way of telling me you liked the new tune, I'll have to make sure to play you _all _my new works."

I bit my lip with embarrassment of my actions. And then a thought occurred to me, "You were wrong," I told him.

His eyebrows bunched in confusion. "So, that's your way of telling me you _didn't_ like it? What do you do for a song you _do _like then?" he laughed, wagging his eyebrows teasingly.

"No," I said rolling my eyes. "You were wrong when you warned me about my expectations of you playing for me."

Edward's playful smile faded. He looked at me as if he was painfully waiting for me to give my judgment, but yet wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it.

"It was even _better_ than I had imagined. I would happily listen to you play forever," I confessed.

His green eyes stared dubiously at me as if, despite my transparent honesty, he wanted to, but couldn't quite believe my sentiment. Then, as the gaze lasted, the electricity between us heightened. I found resisting the building urge to beg him to make love to me right then, was down to the last flimsy shreds of willpower I had left.

I watched as his eyes changed; intensified until all that was there was a strong wanting—consuming desire. His eyes further unraveled the last shreds of my willpower until it was down to a few lowly strands that were quickly snapping apart like overly tight guitar strings.

_Ping! Ping! Ping!_

"Edward." My voice came out as a desperate plea to end the pain I was in having to continue to deny myself from having him. I was to the point where I thought I would lose my mind if I had to endure any longer by holding back what I so hopelessly wanted, when he lifted his hand and tenderly pulled it through my hair and tucked it behind my ear. My eyes fluttered shut and my breathing stuttered with the simple touch that made the pain slightly ebb.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered.

My heart sank at his words, and tried to prepare myself for his rebuff. I opened my eyes, finding my vision was blurred by tears that had already formed, fearing his goodbye, threatening to spill over. I attempted to blink them away.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered wiping a trader tear that had leapt from my eye.

_No!_

"I can't do it anymore. I am _so_ sorry that I'm not strong enough for you," he murmured so softly, I wasn't sure if that was what he actually said.

For an agonizing second I waited for him to send me away and out of his life forever.

"Please," the word escaped through a hitched breath, surprising me for being spoken aloud. My one word was a plea, begging desperately for him not to say the next words; for him to want me as much as I wanted him; for him to end my suffering, so I could finally let go of all that I held back. I tried to communicate wordlessly exactly how my entire being came to life when I was around him; how my body had finally found its voice and sang—just for him. But I couldn't find a way to say any of this out loud, so I sat there mutely, hoping he could read my thoughts.

My heart pounded painfully on the verge of shattering, as I waited for him to say the words that would break me more than I realized possible, until that very moment. I turned away, closing my eyes, my head dropping forward. I couldn't look at him, not as he said the words that would destroy me.

But he didn't.

Instead, he grabbed my face, pulling it back up to his and kissed me.

His kiss was hard, without reserve. It was feral and full of raw need, as his soft stubble brushed against my face with the movement of his lips. It felt like a dam had broken loose in him; like everything that I had felt, that had been hidden below the surface, in our first kiss the night before, was now being set free. His kiss now, felt like it held back nothing. Overwhelming emotion and passion radiated from him, through his lips and spread throughout my heated body.

Just like that, my pain and fear of parting from him instantly vanished and the last few threads of my restraint went up in flames. I could feel my desire unleash and flood me. It consumed me and decimated all the restraint I'd had managed to have before then.

In one lithe movement—more quickly and gracefully than I'd ever moved in my life—I slid astride him, not breaking the kiss. Edward welcomed me there by enveloping me in his arms. He moaned when I pressed myself firmly against his lap and I gasped at the feel of him hard and ready for me between my legs.

Our mouths greedily kissed deeper, trying to consume one another. Our tongues caressed as if the other was the sweetest thing it had ever tasted—unable to get enough. Our bodies clutched the other unable to quite get close enough.

Edward's hands moved to grasp the outside of my thighs and slid them up under the skirt of the dress, pushing up the hem until it bunched at my waist. Then firmly, he clasped my exposed hipbones and pressed me down onto him as he bucked against me.

"Oh God!" I panted, breaking the kiss.

His mouth freed of mine, flew back to my skin like a magnet and went immediately to my neck and then traveled down to the exposed top curve of my breasts. He caressed my bare skin with his lips and tongue, driving me crazy as the feeling went straight to my core and fed the desire coursing throughout my whole body. I clutched his hair, holding his lips against me, not wanting to ever release him or the blissful sensations his touch brought with it.

Edward released his hold on my hips and trailed his fingers along the sensitive crease on the front of my legs, from the juncture of my hips down to my core. I shuttered and moaned, freeing my hands from his hair with a stronger urge. I didn't just want him inside of me, I _needed_ him there. I needed it as if needing air; like I needed his drug, his touch, his voice, needed everything else about him. I needed him to connect with me on the most basic, primal level. And I needed it now.

With shaky, but determined, fingers I began to unbutton his shirt, eager to shed every barrier that stood between us, trying to not simply rip the buttons straight off. Only after a few had successfully been undone, Edward slipped his fingers under the edge of my underwear and slid them directly along the outside of my sex. My breathing stuttered as he slowly dragged his fingers across me and a strangled moan escaped my lips.

Oh dear God.

I was about to come apart. I claimed his mouth again with mine, as his fingers hovered, pressing against my entrance as if waiting to be granted permission.

Did he not know how he already owned me? Owned every last bit of me? That he didn't need to ask to do anything? He could do anything he wanted to me. My body was his. I was his. Only his.

I nodded frantically. "Please, Edward," I begged painfully with anticipation pushing my hips against his hesitating hand.

Edward pushed past my entrance with his fingers, entering my core. The surge of feeling that came with any part of him moving inside me was nothing like I'd ever experienced—and I shuddered as I came undone.

"Bella," he breathed in reply, sounding in awe, as I rode out the unexpected and most heavenly climax I'd ever had in my life.

When I came back down from the high, panting, I opened my eyes to find his striking green ones locked on me. He was staring at me with a look of such reverence; it put my embarrassment of being so quick to go over, at ease immediately.

"You are so beautiful," he marveled. Then he licked his lips and claimed my mouth again.

My hands dove for his belt finding that the release I'd just had, had only heightened my desperate need for him, rather than abated it. Feeling my crazed inducing need for him more acutely than before, I let out a growl of frustration finding my hands weren't moving fast enough.

I'd just about ripped open his belt when Edward's hands were suddenly manacles around my wrists.

My head snapped up at him in surprise and frustration, considering mutiny. He wanted me to _stop_?

_No!_ Panic rippled through me.

"Bella," he whispered through his heavy breaths, gathering my wrists in one hand, pressing the palm of his other against my cheek. "I know. Believe me, I know," he breathed, sounding nearly as tormented as I felt. His sweet breath blew across my face, sending a wave of ease through me. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone," he said, his eyes still alight with desire as he stroked my face soothingly. "But we'll get there, okay? I want to savor it, not rush through it. Breathe. It's okay, we'll get there."

My panting slowed slightly, but my heart raced on from his blazing green eyes that were locked in mine. I knew he was right. But the problem was I didn't think I could handle much longer without connecting with him.

Though still feeling wild, I nodded and Edward leaned in to kiss me. This time his kiss was languid and sweet—reminding me to slow the pace. He released my wrists and I abandoned his belt—for now. Instead, I moved my hands back to finish working on the shirt buttons, slow and sensually this time instead of frantically like before—despite the fact that the need for him was still pricking just as painfully as ever. But his words kept me sane. His promise kept me from frantically falling to pieces and shredding the clothes that kept us apart.

We'd get there.

Edward's hands reached around me and lazily dragged down the zipper of my dress. He ran the palm of his hands over my bare back, both of us humming in appreciation of the release that came with the additional skin-to-skin contact. Then he wrapped an arm around my waist and the other under my bottom, pulling me tightly against him. He then stood up and gracefully carried me to the dark room, with as much ease as if I weighed practically nothing, where he gently laid me down on a soft bed.

Piece by piece, each item of our clothing was removed and dropped into crumpled piles on the floor around the bed until we were left with nothing between us.

Edward hesitated just outside of me and I bucked my hips urging him on. Instead, he pulled his mouth away from mine buried his forehead in the crook of my chest and let out a loud, frustrated growl, startling me. Then he leapt away. I let out a sound of protest and prayed that one of his cool, collected personalities didn't pop their head in right at the worst time possible. But he was back before I could gather my thoughts enough to form any words of question. I watched him in the dim light that shone through the curtains from the bright city outside the window, trying to figure out what was going on. Embarrassingly, it wasn't until he had it in place, that I realized he'd gotten and put on a condom.

I found a twinge of misplaced disappointment as I realized this, though it only made sense that we both should want him to use one. We'd not discussed one word of our pasts on that subject, including the very unsexy potential topics that went with it—he didn't know I didn't have anything or even that I was on the pill, and I had no idea about him. But I found myself not caring. I didn't care in that moment what the consequences were—I wanted _all _of him no matter what the cost. It was a good thing he was more level headed about it because I was sure I'd care later.

But as he nestled himself back between my legs that wrapped back around his hips like they were made to live there, laying skin-to-skin on top of me, my feelings of disappointment all but vanished. We were finally _there_ and my overwhelming need for him would finally be sated. This overwhelming, painful ache I'd endured every moment I couldn't have him, would now be eased.

Edward kissed me passionately. Then, he pulled back to stare into my eyes—making the electric current, that already enveloped us, begin to hum louder—as he pushed himself inside me, stretching and filling me in the most delicious way; like with everything else about Edward, it felt so heavenly I'd not thought it possible before that moment. It was as if he was made specifically for me and so right and pleasurable, it was otherworldly—absolutely perfect.

He moaned my name relief and pleasure while I, almost immediately, came undone beneath him.

In response to my fervor, Edward grabbed my leg, hitching it higher and moved in such a way that it made me gasp and my whole body shook as the thrill of the feeling rushed through me. My sensitive body was still coming down from my climax, making the heavenly feeling all the more intense.

Before I could regain my breath, he did it again.

I gasped at the overpowering sensation.

And again.

Oh God.

And again.

My breath stuttered.

And again.

A moan of ecstasy escaped my lips as he moved within me and clutched me even tighter. He continued, letting out his own moan of delectation in the form of my name as he moved himself within me again and again; until, once more, I came undone around him, even stronger than before—this time, Edward followed closely behind.

When we physically parted, Edward pulled my back against his hard chest and enveloped me tightly in his strong arms.

"Bella," he whispered into my ear. "I'm so sorry." His words burned with intensity as he tenderly stoked my face with the back of his fingers and kissed the top of my shoulder adoringly.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm no good for you," he admitted sounding tormented. "I tried. I really did—." He cut off and started again. "I don't think I'll be able to stay away from you."

I turned to face him, my eyes locking into his, trying to understand. His eyes in the dark light were torn. I didn't know what he meant about being no good for me but it didn't matter. I didn't care whatever his reasoning. I knew I didn't have the willpower to stay away from him and if he was saying he felt the same about me, it wasn't anything I wanted him to apologize for.

So instead of responding I kissed him passionately with all the emotion I had for him, trying to communicate the feelings I had that I couldn't form out loud, into words, telling him I didn't want him to stay away from me.

It didn't take long before our need overwhelmed us again and we rejoined as ardently as before.

* * *

**I have a Song Rec for you (paste into your browser and remove the spaces to have a listen). I heard this and thought it fit this Edward and Bella: **

**"All or Nothing" by Theory of a Deadman. **

www. you tube watch? v= kpUj0Y0N7C8

**Click [**Review**] and let me know what you think before clicking to the next chapter. I would greatly appreciate your feedback.**

**(And of course, thank you MC.) :)**


	12. Chapter 12 The Morning After

**Reminder: This fic is BxE, OOC, AU, AH. ****Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. This version of all human events, however, is mine**.

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: The Morning After**

A noise, I couldn't recall, pulled me into consciousness. The soft brightness of the day shone light yellowish-orange through my closed eyelids that didn't want to open. It felt as if I'd only just dozed off, even though it had still been dark when I had finally succumbed to sleep.

I lay sprawled out on my belly, comfortable and completely blissed out, luxuriating in the feeling of the soft linens draped over my tired, naked body. A smile, I couldn't stop, spread across my face as I noticed the light soreness between my legs that was present even in stillness. When I started to move and stretch lightly, I found that most of my body was laced with a similar light, almost pleasant soreness that reassured me, with absolute certainty, that the blissful memories of night before had been very real.

It had been a long time since I'd been intimate with a man. But not once in my life had it ever felt _anything_ like this experience with Edward. Not even close.

I found that same all-consuming need, that Edward made me feel, didn't wane even after repeatedly satisfying my incessant need for more of him. In fact, fully gratifying that need had only made me yearn for him more strongly than ever and I immediately wanted him again—and even better, it seemed Edward felt the same. Sheer exhaustion was the only reason we'd eventually stopped. Finally, my body refused to obey my wish to have him again, collapsing and forcing me under the heavy swell of slumber that washed over me and held me down.

I hummed contently as I snuggled my face into the mattress, letting my tired body win out and began to drift back into unconsciousness. As I did, I replayed the night before, hoping the details would spill into my dreams and continue playing there for me as I slept.

"Happy thoughts, Bella?" Edward's silky voice broke into my recollection of the night before. His voice caused a flash of heat to race across my body, as it brought a whole swirl of additional memories that began to cascade blissfully into my mind, on top of the rest.

I lifted my head and turned it to the sound, resting it back on the mattress. With great effort, I fluttered my eyes open a crack. The exertion immediately proved more than worth it; my eyes were greeted with a wet, practically naked, Edward who was wearing only a fluffy, white towel wrapped around his waist. He was truly a vision, as he stood in the doorway between the bedroom and bathroom, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed and an amused smile playing on his lips. I grinned at this being the first sight I was treated to for the day, thinking how I wished every day, for the rest of my life, could begin in this similar fashion. Edward's bronzed hair appeared dark brown and actually lay in a non-chaotic fashion, weighed down with the water that saturated it. I watched as a drop of water dripped down off of a lock of his hair landing just below his collar bone. It then trailed down over every gloriously beautiful hard curve of his chest and stomach.

Lucky drop of water.

"Mmm-hmm," I said sleepily.

"I'm sorry to have woken you," he apologized. "I had thought about seeing if you wanted to join me in the shower, but you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you. Seems I didn't quite succeed at letting you sleep."

"Mmm. I really wish you would have disturbed me," I garbled sleepily and sighed. I was enjoying the erotic hotness that was Edward, wet and practically naked standing before me, but my eyelids drooped heavily. They won the fight for a moment as my eyes closed against my will. I struggled against them—not wanting to give up my amazing view—until I succeeded in peeling them open again. I smiled at my success.

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time," Edward promised with a smirk at my struggle with my eyelids and let out a breathy laugh. "Go back to sleep, love. You're tired. Besides, it's still early and you've only had a few hours rest. There's no rush for you to get up, unless you have to be somewhere?"

"Nope. I don't have anywhere to be. If I go back to sleep, would you lie with me?" I asked; sleep dragging through my words, blending them together. I hoped I spoke clear enough through the sleep that threatened to consume me, so he could understand me.

"I don't think I could turn down that offer even if I wanted to. Besides I was about to climb in beside you anyway," he said walking to the bed. I turned over and felt a dizzying wave of vertigo sway my heavy head back down onto the pillow, eagerly pulling me back into unconsciousness. Edward must have literally meant I'd only slept a few hours because I felt like I'd only just gone to sleep. In the next moment, I felt Edward climb into the bed, slipping between the covers and then his naked body pressed against my back as he gathered me in his arms, pulling me in close.

I hummed, contented as Edward gave me a sweet, chaste kiss on my neck and dropped his head onto his pillow. Though his kiss held no expectation, I found his lips held a surge of energy with them that shot straight through my body. I instantly felt alert and completely turned on with the feel of his naked body lying next to mine.

My previous plans of sleep, abandoned, I pressed myself more firmly against him and pushed my hips into his, satisfied to find, despite his simple kiss, he was every bit as ready as I suddenly was. Edward sucked in a quick breath and gripped my hip.

Unable to help myself, I did it again.

This time, Edward's hand slid up to the dip of the side of my waist and skimmed along my belly; the pads of his fingers trailed along the sensitive line on the front of my hips where my stomach ended.

I moaned and then turned, intending to face him, but I was only to my back when Edward's hand, splayed out flat, wantonly pressed against my stomach and slid up, between my breasts, across my neck and up to my chin. My neck arched back to draw out the sensation longer and my throat let out a noise of yearning and pleasure. I could feel the burning desire for him race through my body, chasing away every last ounce of exhaustion I'd just been weighed down by.

As he slowly slid his hand back down the length of my body, every nerve was alight with desire and anticipation, eagerly begging for more of Edward's caresses.

He answered my body's unspoken need by swiping his palm up along the length of my body once more; this time his hand took a detour to attend to my aching breasts. I felt my body sigh in relief and I arched my back, pressing my chest into his hand.

I turned my head toward him intending to pull his lips to mine, but my face met his neck instead and my nose brushed along his throat. I couldn't help myself from drawing a in a deep breath of his heady scent, as it traveled. When the tip of my nose brushed against his Adam's apple—his insanely erotic Adam's apple—I, unable to help myself, ran my tongue softly over it and then caressed it with my mouth, before trailing my lips along the bottom of his hard jaw line. Edward's short, soft stubble that covered it, lightly brushed against my lips as I moved my mouth to his welcoming lips that kissed me back eagerly.

Finding confidence I never knew I possessed, I hitched my leg over his hip and pushed his shoulder with my hand, pressing his back to the bed. When I sat astride him—courage bolstered by Edward's enthusiastic groan and his hands that eagerly caressed my skin—I broke my lips from his and breathed, "Where are the condoms?" leaving no doubt as to my intentions with him. I didn't care that the unforgiving morning light shone through the window and highlighted the body I'd always had many insecurities about. I felt unusually confident.

"God Bella. You're perfect—absolutely stunning," Edward murmured as he gazed up at me, running his hands appreciatively over my body as I straddled him.

My mouth opened automatically to correct him. I was anything but perfect. The list of things that were very much not perfect about me sat at the edge of my tongue, ready to leap off. But his expression stunned me, stopping the words from tumbling from my lips. He wore a look of reverence and awe as his eyes raked across my body greedily and I was distracted by the absolute beauty of the man beneath me. Edward was the most beautiful creature I'd ever known.

I opened my mouth, once again, to tell him exactly that, but he suddenly reached up, grabbed a hold of me and flipped me over, pressing me into the mattress causing a squeal of surprise and laughter to escape my lips, instead. He grinned playfully at me before giving me a passionate kiss, and then dismounted to reach over the side of the bed, opened a drawer and returned with a condom.

Not sure where the confidence was coming from, I swiped the packet from him, flashing him a mischievous grin before I kissed him, demanding dominance again, pressing him to the mattress, as I opened the wrapper. Too bashful to have ever even dreamed of attempting this before, even if the urge had ever crossed my mind—and it hadn't—I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing, but I wanted any excuse I could have to touch him there. Besides, even in the short time I had known Edward; I found that, not only had he made me feel and want things that I had never before desired, I felt far more comfortable with him that way, than I had with any other man in my past.

I wiggled my way down Edward's body, my eyes wanting to roll back into my head at the sensation of our bodies sliding along the other. When I was down at his hips, I peeked up, suddenly having stage fright, feeling his eyes on me. As I feared, Edward's eyes were trained on me, but they were indulgent and amorous, staving off my panic, putting me at ease.

My courage bolstered, I looked down and it was all I could do to not drop my jaw and gawk at him. I didn't have much for reference, having a limited sexual history, but none compared to the beautiful piece of perfection that stood before me.

As I stared at him, I difficultly swallowed the sudden urge that came over me, wanting to take him into my mouth. I blushed, at the thought, realizing that for as bold as I was feeling, that was still beyond me. Yet anyway.

"I'm getting a bit self-conscious here," Edward's buttery voice teased, breaking me out of the spell I was under. Though his tone was light and playful, I could hear self-doubt in his words that he didn't quite successfully mask.

I guess I hadn't succeeded at not gawking.

My cheeks flamed.

"I'm sorry," I stammered, embarrassed. "It's just—I—you—Edward, you should know full-well that you have _nothing_ to be self-conscious about," I flushed even deeper.

Edward lightly snorted at my comment. I glanced up at him and felt my cheeks positively glow with warmth, when I caught his eyes. I quickly looked back down trying to convince myself he wasn't watching me and reached out with one hand, tentatively touching the skin at his hips, sliding it along the front where his hips met his stomach, knowing how good it had felt when he'd done that to me and seeing if it had the same effect on him.

He let out a humming sigh. I chanced a glance up at him again and found his eyes had fluttered closed. Feeling braver with not being watched, I picked my hand up and wrapped it around him, gripping him firmly.

Edward hissed out a breath, causing my eyes to flash to his, but his remained shut and I was relatively positive, the noise was not one of dislike.

I looked back to my hand and began to slide it up and down his firm, but soft and silky-smooth skin.

This time, he let out a deep hum.

I bit my lip in rapture, captivated with how my hand looked surrounding him, as it traveled back and forth, up and down. I found myself turned on even more, simply by that sight.

"Bella," he said in breathy plea, a minute later.

I snapped myself out of my trance and returned to the original task of putting the condom on him. After a few inexpertly fumbles and some difficulty, I finally got it in place; but he didn't complain, laugh, or lose any bit of stiffness, as he indulgently left me to the task.

I briefly wondered if it was uncomfortable. It seemed really tight and that fact was part of the reason for my difficulty with the thing. But I didn't have a chance to ask or wonder beyond that because as soon as the condom was in place, Edward sat up and grabbed me, pulling me on top of him, kissing me in earnest.

I eagerly parted my legs, sidling one on either side of him, hoping my inexperience with the position didn't show, as I lowered myself onto him. James had always taken control and having, at best only lukewarm feelings about the act, I was grateful that he had done what he needed to and got off of me. With Tyler, it was a little better and he had offered, but I declined; not having any desire to want to be in control, still not caring all too much for sex at all.

Hell, before last night I'd never even had an orgasm during sex. The few I'd had outside of that were alone and very few and far between. I just wasn't much of a sexual person in the past.

But Edward. Oh, God. When it came to Edward, I'd become the extreme opposite of my former self.

If I had known that it could be like this for me, I wouldn't have been willing to settle for the barely tolerable experiences in my past, as just simply the way things were. I would have actively searched for Edward and what he did to me, until I found him, no matter how long it took me or what the cost of it was. Edward was pure heaven—sexual ecstasy notwithstanding.

The release I was now becoming familiar with washed over me, as I pushed myself onto him. And as he entered me, we let out matching exclamations of relief with being joined, escape our lips.

I didn't know if I was doing it right—if there was even a right way to do it—so I just moved the way it felt good to me, hoping it was okay for him too. I rocked and pressed myself against him, rolling my hips, to take in everything he had to offer, as we kissed deeply and Edward's hands glided greedily along my body.

I could feel the sensation I was now familiar with, from the night before, building stronger. I started to rock faster, chasing that high I'd so quickly become addicted to. It was just within reach, when Edward's hands gripped my hips tightly, halting my movements.

I obeyed his restraining hands immediately with worry. _What did I do?_

My chest tightened, as my life-long insecurities, that had proved themselves accurate before, reared their ugly head and I was suddenly deeply regretting my brazen moment.

_I never should have done this. _

I looked down at Edward, dumbly watching his heavy breathing calm and his hands loosen from my hips, but my body was still frozen in place.

"Was that—? Did I do something wrong?" I whispered, while averting my eyes away from him.

He let out a breathy chuckle and held my face, forcing me to look into his now opened eyes that, to my surprise, held no judgment, no disappointment, no discomfort, but instead appeared adoring and heady. "Not at all. The problem was it felt far too good and I can't let myself be too quick to the trigger," he smirked playfully and mock whispered as if telling me a secret, "that isn't exactly something a guy wants to be known for, even if it's just because you do things to me I never before thought possible," he chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh with him, feeling better knowing that it wasn't because I was doing something wrong, apparently I was doing something very right. "Plus, this isn't just about me; I want to make sure that you to get there too," he said. Then he tacked on, "Well, maybe that is about me because I can't waitto watch you come undone. That has to be the _sexiest_ thing I've ever seen."

My face burned and I bit my lip. He was going to watch me? The ease I'd felt a moment before, knowing I'd not made a wrong move, washed away as chagrin flooded me. I suddenly wanted very much to not be on top anymore.

"Why are you blushing?" he asked, studying my face, holding it with his hands.

"I don't think I can do this if I know you'll be watching me," I said chewing on my lip again.

"I watched you while you came last night and you were nothing short of breathtaking," he countered, running his fingers along my cheekbone.

"But I didn't _know_ you were watching me," I argued, and then remembered opening my eyes, as I was coming down, when we were on the piano bench after my unexpected climax, finding his eyes transfixed on me and amended, "At least, not until after." I looked away from his eyes and moved to pull my leg from astride him, but he stopped me.

"Don't be self-conscious, love," he said and I felt my body thrill at his use of that term of endearment. "You have absolutely _nothing_ to be self-conscious about. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And when you _come..._" he hummed with deep pleasure. "...so sensual and sexy. You're absolutely stunning uninhibited like that. I've never seen anything so erotic in my life."

I was unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes in disbelief.

"You think I'm lying?" Edward challenged.

"Not lying so much as trying to calm my unease." I replied.

"You don't have a very clear picture of yourself, do you?" he quipped, his eyes turning hard with anger.

"No," I disagreed. "I know what I am and what I'm not. I've never been the knockout, I never will be, that's Rosalie's department, right along with models and actresses," I said sitting up, wrapping my arms around my stomach and chest, feeling very exposed, "and I'm honestly fine with that."

Edward let out a growl of frustration, shot up, grabbed me by the waist and flipped me over so my back was on the bed and he was lying on top of me. I was aggravated with myself, finding that the move completely turned me on and it was everything I could do to not let out a moan of ecstasy from the sensations it brought with it and just drop the subject that second. "Bella!" he chastised. "Neither Rosalie nor _anyone _else has absolutely anything on you."

"You can't tell me Rose is not gorgeous, that's the whole essence of who she is. She's the incarnation of beauty," I pressed stubbornly, refusing to back down on my argument. I knew that was the way it was. It was the truth, a simple fact and he wasn't going to get away with not admitting it.

_Crap!_ I wanted to kick myself. How did we get from blissfully having sex, to me trying to get him to admit to me that Rosalie was gorgeous? What the hell just happened?

"Why do you hold Rosalie up so high on a pedestal? Yes, she's pretty, but she could never even have a hundredth of the attraction you hold for me. I've never met _anyone_ else that has made me feel the way you do. Honestly Bella, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on," Edward insisted.

He sounded sincere. I wanted to believe him—I really did. But how could I when I _knew_ otherwise. I had years of proof and countless testaments to that very fact backing me up.

"You still don't believe me. I can see it in your eyes," he said making a frustrated sound. "I'll get you to believe me some day."

My heart fluttered manically at the mention of us and the future.

But that didn't change the fact that I doubted his words. We stared at one another, neither backing down from their side of the argument.

"Look, Bella," Edward said sweetly, breaking the stiff silence that hung around us. "If it really bothers you that much, I won't watch you until you're okay with it. I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. Alright?" He said as I watched his eyes soften and then fill with want. He stared at me so intently, I felt the air around us crackle and pop, thick with the thrill of electricity, just like the first time we locked eyes.

I could feel my argument melt and drain away; suddenly extremely insignificant when he was looking at me that way.

"Thank you, Edward," I said feeling the fear of being watched ease with his promise, as I kept my eyes on his, soaking in the sizzling feeling that radiated my body from the combination of our eyes holding each other's, as our bodies were connected. I reached up, rubbing my hand against his cheek, watching his eyes close as he'd promised and then pulled his lips to mine, where they belonged. He began to move inside me again, keeping up the steady rhythm that drove me wild. It was only minutes later that I couldn't take it any longer and with Edward's promise of not watching me, I once again found I wanted to get on top. I lightly pushed my leg against Edward's hip. He readily took my cue as if we'd had this unspoken communication for years and rolled us over to his back, without breaking our connection or our kiss. When I pulled my lips from his to better move myself in the position, I peeked up at him and saw he was dutifully keeping his eyes closed, as he promised.

God he was gorgeous. He took my breath away and I found it difficult to look away.

My desire spiked and I began to move with more determination, experimenting with what felt best, as I watched him move his body with me. I felt a little guilty staring at him, when I'd just begged him not to watch me, so, I closed my eyes too, letting my body just _feel_.

As I got close, I peeked up at him again, checking. I found his eyes were still closed but became mesmerized by his beauty and movements, unable to look away from the sight of him beneath me.

"That's not _fair_," he said grabbing my hips and accentuating the word with a rough thrust that shot through me.

I gasped almost going over.

"I can feel your eyes on me, Bella," he said snapping his vivid green eyes open, expectantly.

"You're paranoid," I lied.

"You're a bad liar," he said with a mischievous smirk, not letting me go from his gaze and thrust beneath me again.

Oh God. My eyes fluttered shut and rolled to the back of my head as my neck arched and I moaned loudly.

"Gorgeous," he breathed, sounding awed.

Gathering my composure, I opened my eyes and looked back down at him, still breathing heavily. Edward snared me in his emerald eyes and didn't let me go. A thrill shot through me, finding instead of being self-conscious, I was completely turned on with the way he looked at me. And my heart practically burst, filling with feelings I had never before known.

I began to rock myself over him again, still wrapped in his eyes, feeling the sensation heighten and build until it was almost overwhelming.

My breathing became heavy and disjointed.

Edward's hands clasped my hips tightly, trying to still me again, but I was almost there and I couldn't stop. His eyes flashed in warning as I ignored his hands and I pressed on harder, pushing my body against his stilling hands, finding the resistance to only help me get there faster. As I moaned, Edward came. The sounds he made combined with sight of him coming undone, instantly pulled me over with him.

I threw my head back as I panted and moaned with the influx of pleasure I was drowning in, until I couldn't hold myself up any longer and collapsed onto Edward's chest, trying to slow my heavy breathing. I could feel his chest rise and fall, as his breath calmed with mine.

"Okay, I see your point," I said breathlessly, feeling the weight of sleep bearing down on me.

I felt the shake of his near-soundless laughter. "My point that you're absolutely beautiful, especially when you come?" he asked with a smile in his voice, sweetly stroking my hair, knowing that wasn't what I'd meant.

"No, you know what I mean," I rolled my eyes.

"I do," he promised with a chuckle, kissing the top of my head.

A few minutes later, after Edward dealt with the aftermath of our tryst, he crawled back into bed beside me, holding me tightly to him. This time, I gave into my tired body and sank into his arms, dropping quickly into unconsciousness.

_I'm falling in love with you, Edward. _The thought wisped through my mind on the cusp of sleep, as I lie blissfully snared up in his arms, ignoring my rational side snapping her fingers at me, telling me it was far too soon. Instead of heeding her warning, I snuggled myself against him, trying to get closer. Then, I quickly sank deeper under, watching the yellow-orange glow of the early morning fade from the back of my eyelids, as I gave into sleep.

XXXXX

The sun was beating down on me, making me too warm and uncomfortable when I woke again later in the day. It now shone bright orange—almost red—behind my lids. I felt well rested, but it felt like it was late in the day and I wondered how long I'd slept. I opened my eyes, seeing the sun glowing brightly through the white gossamer, covering the large window in the bedroom, as it fluttered with the cool air being blown from the heating and cooling unit beneath it.

As I attempted to blink the sleep away from my eyes, I felt a bare body pressed to mine and the weight of an arm draped over me. Edward's body. Edward's arm.

A huge smile grew on my face, so wide it almost hurt, from the joy that radiated through me. I could feel its warmth spread throughout my entire satiated body; it was so strong I thought I might burst from happiness.

I turned to face him; Edward stirred slightly with my movement, but didn't wake. And I was greeted with a full-on view of the angelic Greek god that was Edward, looking breathtaking, even in sleep. I lie there staring at him, letting my eyes caress every nuance of him that I could, trying to commit exactly how gloriously striking he was to memory—watching as his chest rose and fell in a peaceful succession.

God, he was beautiful. I didn't think I would ever get used to exactly how striking he was, no matter how much time he let me stay in his life.

Not wanting to wake him, I suppressed the nearly overpowering urge to run my hand along his naked body, to make sure I had every swell and dip of hard muscle memorized. So, I contented myself with watching him sleep, marveling at the fact that I was in Edward Cullen's arms. Not Anthony Cullen, the famous actor who everyone thought they knew. No. _Edward_ Cullen; the guy who seemed to have a great friendship with his brother; the guy who used to be in a garage band when he was younger; the guy who played the piano and guitar with such skill it rapt your attention; the guy who wrote amazing pieces of music; the man who confused the hell out of me; the man who, despite his looks and success, seemed to not be too sure of himself; the man who wore a look of genuine fondness when talking about his family; the man who seemed protective of me and made me feel special; the man who made me want and feel more than I had ever thought possible; the amazing man I was falling in love with faster than a heartbeat. That was the glorious creature that I was somehow lucky enough to have lay before me.

I wanted to remain right where I was forever, but my body reminded me that I was human and could not. I slipped myself out from under his arm, as gently as I could, to go freshen up. But when I took his arm, set it down on the bed and let go, it shot out and quickly and wrapped back around me as fast as a sprung trap, causing me to jump and let out a squeal of surprise.

"Where do you think you're going?" Edward's said, his sleepy voice teased, muffled by the pillow. Then he pulled me tightly into him with a quick jerk, so I was again lying flush against his body and nuzzled my head in under his chin.

"Bathroom," I giggled with his playfulness and found that my entire body thrilled with his action and started to practically vibrate with want for him—warring with my bladder.

"Hmmm," he said as if in debate. "Alright, I guess I'll allow it, as long as you come right back to me," he said begrudgingly, humor and sleep both heavy in his voice. Then he kissed my head and unwound his arm from around me.

"Well, thank you very much for your permission," I replied teasingly, the smile evident in my voice.

Edward laughed sleepily, his eyes still closed, looking like he could fall back to sleep in an instant, as I slid off the bed and hopped to the bathroom.

I had planned to be quick and head straight back out to Edward's arms, where I wanted to be, but then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair was something to the liking of a haystack, while my smudged and smeared eyes—from doing up my eyes and not washing my face before bed—made me look like a crack whore. I hoped fervently that I hadn't looked like this earlier, when Edward had had a very good, long look at me.

Hmmm. As cringe-worthy of a thought as that possibility was, I couldn't remember earlier that morning with anything but bliss—even if I had looked this disheveled.

I walked across the cool, warm-brown colored, tiled floor to the glass shower door and opened it to turn on the water. I jumped in surprise when the water started spouting out of several different directions. I looked up to find multiple showerheads spraying warm water down in the large shower, that I noted would have more than easily fit both Edward and me.

I was sorely tempted to invite him to join me, but thought better of it, when I caught my reflection in the mirror again. I needed to get this make-up off first. So, instead, I found a couple of fresh towels on a rack, next to a large, lush potted fern and stepped in to the shower solo. It felt like I was standing in a very warm, summer downpour—it was luxuriously fantastic. The quick shower I'd meant to take, wasn't quick at all, finding I didn't want to leave the most lavish shower imaginable, even after I'd run out of things to do. I just stood there for several minutes, simply enjoying the water wash over me from every angle, before I finally decided I needed to get out.

I stepped out to dry myself and found a heat lamp shining above me, warding off the familiar rush of chill that usually greeted me upon stepping out of a shower.

Ostentatious or not, multiple showerheads and heat lamps were things I instantly decided I would add to my wish list for the house I was saving up for when I moved out of my apartment. I wasn't a person who had to have lavish things, but right then, fresh out of the most amazing shower I could have ever imagined, I decided that those two, relatively small, nuances were so phenomenal they would be worth saving up for—even if it wouldn't happen for a very long time.

I sighed.

Someday—though the savings account didn't seem to budge much, except to maybe go down. It seemed as soon as I started to get the amount to go up, something would happen and I'd dip back into it. _The Trip_ being one of those somethings, though I wouldn't trade this trip for any amount of the money I'd spent for it. Meeting Edward made it more than worth any gains I'd had towards the house I would have had if I'd not gone.

I wrapped a towel around my body and another around my head, wishing I would have had a toothbrush with me. Instead, I took a swig of mouthwash that was standing on the counter and swished it around, hoping it would be enough to stave off at least some of the morning breath.

It would have to do.

I opened the door from the bathroom, to find that the large bed that sat in the middle of bedroom was empty.

"Edward?" I called, but I heard no reply.

I padded through the bedroom and stepped into the living room.

"Edward?" I called, but all was still quiet.

I could feel my eyebrows furrow and my chest tighten with something close to panic, somehow suddenly fearing he'd been simply imagined, despite where I was. I turned to head back to the bedroom, unsure of where to go or what to do, when I saw my purse sitting on the entryway table. I walked over to it, realizing I didn't even know the time and should at least text Rose to let her know where I was and that I was okay. I opened my purse and pulled out my phone.

It was dead.

Stupid, crappy battery.

I chewed my lip and walked back to the bedroom, snagging my toe on the carpet, nearly falling as I went. I sat on the edge of the bed and tried a couple more times—in vain—to turn the phone on before huffily shoving it back in my purse, finally accepting that it wasn't going to turn on.

As I sat alone in Edward's hotel bedroom, reality started to set in and my mind started to race with doubt. Chagrin suddenly washed over me, as I unwrapped the towel around my head, letting my damp hair fall chaotically over my shoulders and down my back.

_What had I just done?_

I'd just slept with a guy after knowing him for, what, two days? What the _hell_ was wrong with me? Edward could say anything he wanted to me now, but the truth was; I was just a girl on vacation that had practically jumped him to get him into the sack and he was an unattainable icon passing through my life.

I tried to remind myself that it hadn't felt like emotionless sex. That the things he'd said to me, the way he looked at me, the way he touched me, didn't feel empty and detached. But without him next to me, it began to feel hollow and hard to believe. He could have told me anything he thought I wanted to hear. Convincingly, I might add; he was an actor after all.

_Edward isn't like that. _A small voice in my head pointed out to me. I wanted to believe her, but what the hell did I know? I barely knew him; I had no idea of his morals and values.

And to make it worse, I knew I'd not heeded Rose's advice, I didn't keep my emotions in check. I knew already that I was quickly falling in love with him. Every fiber of my being felt like it was saturated with that knowledge.

I sighed.

What have I done? I lowered my head into my hands, as I felt the threat of tears sting my eyes. I was such an idiot.

"Hey, you okay, love?" Edward's velvety voice broke my circling self-doubt. I looked up at him and felt my body stand at attention, all my doubts melted away at seeing him smiling softly as he walked towards me, wearing faded blue jeans and a white, threadbare cotton t-shirt making it look like the sexiest thing ever made. I could feel his nearness causing my body to cast all my self-doubt aside, telling me it didn't care what his motives were, what mattered was that he was there with me, looking at me with those intense, heady green eyes that instantly shot to my core. Who cared about tomorrow or the next day, today I had Edward. I would worry about the rest later.

God I was pathetically weak when it came to Edward.

"Hey, yes I'm fine," I said back, unable to contain my smile his presence conjured up.

"Em just called, seems your friend got pretty concerned when she couldn't get a hold of you."

"Oh no," I groaned at the thought of worrying Rose. "My phone died," I explained stupidly pulling out my dead phone from my purse to back me up. "I should head over to my hotel," I said as I stood up from the edge of the bed I was perched on, my eyes immediately searching for my clothes from the night before.

"It's alright," he said, closing the distance between us, brushing a wet strand of hair from my face, causing my stomach to tighten in the most amazing way. "I told him you were here and that you were fine. But you should probably talk to her yourself. You can use my phone if you'd like," he offered holding out his cell.

"Thanks, but like most people, since I never actually dial the number, I have no idea what it is."

"Actually, it sounded like Em was with Rosalie in a car, on the way to your hotel. I'll just call him back so you can talk to her. It sounded like she was pretty worried, I'm sure she'll feel better after talking to you first-hand," he said already holding the phone up to his ear.

No arguing with that, I guess.

"Hey Em. You're with Rosalie, right? Can you put her on? ... No Em," he said sounding annoyed. "Jesus. No. ... You've got to be kidding me," he sighed, resigned, "Fine, I promise. Okay? Are you happy? Good. Now can you put her on so she can talk to Bella?" Edward said sounding exasperated but yet, I detected an edge of wry humor in his voice. Then he handed me the phone wearing a small smile and shaking his head at whatever his brother said to him; my fingers feeling the thrill of warmth as they brushed his.

I wanted him again. Right then.

"Bella?" Rose's voice came through on the other end, as I recovered from the newest jolt of want and watched Edward rake his hand through his hair.

Focus. Best to not look at him so I can speak coherently to Rose. I closed my eyes.

Better.

"Hey Rose, sorry I worried you, my phone is dead, but I'm just fine," I said meekly, feeling like I was in trouble, opening my eyes, but dutifully staring at only my lap, so as not to be distracted by my favorite drug.

"You scared the shit out of me," Rose said sternly, but not really pissed at me now that she knew I was okay.

"Sorry," I said again.

"Well I'm glad as fuck you're alright," she sighed. "So," she said, drawing out the O sound that made it thick with implications, changing her tone, "you stayed with Edward last night, did you?" I could hear the Cheshire cat grin in her voice.

I could hear Emmett make some kind of exclamation in the background I couldn't catch. The only words I caught were "Edward" and "spin." But I didn't ask, as I was pretty sure that I didn't want to know.

Rose chastised him, but I heard Emmett whisper something into her ear that made her giggle. I sat there listening to their play, uncomfortable even at a distance. Then she realized she was still waiting for a reply to her question and prompted me to answer.

"Er. Yeah, I did," I admitted, blushing fire engine red.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she said with a grin in her voice, ruining her run of trying to act appalled, "are you telling me you finally did something reckless and impulsive for once in your life?! How was it?"

"So are you're heading back to our hotel room?" I asked dodging the question by trying to change the subject.

"Fine, don't answer me right now, but you know that you can't avoid my questions forever. Yes, I'm in a car on the way to our hotel to look for you. But you're not there, apparently," she said, a smile still coloring her tone. "Stop it," she laughed. "Emmett, I'm trying to talk on the damn phone!"

I was extremely grateful I was not in the car with them.

"I'll meet you there in a little bit, okay?" I said eager to be relieved from having to listen to the two of them play around.

Rose laughed again, weightlessly reprimanding Emmett one more time before speaking to me again. "Fine. Oh. Also, we can talk about it when you get to the hotel, but know that after we're done with whatever last touristy stuff we want to do today, I'm going to stay with Emmett again. So you might want to talk to Edward about shacking up with him again."

"Good-bye Rose," I said hanging up to what sounded like Emmett impersonating a grizzly bear and Rose's squealing laughter.

I looked away from my lap now that I didn't need to think straight and happily welcomed being pulled under Edward's spell, but found that Edward wasn't in the room any longer and heard the sound of music floating in the air.

I stood up and padded out of the bedroom to find him; the music, drawing me to where Edward sat, playing on the guitar. I recognized it immediately; it was the incomplete piece he'd played for me the night before. I noticed that it already sounded stronger, more solidified and complete than it had last night. And I liked the sound of the notes being strummed on the guitar.

Edward began to hum and softly sing along to the music, as he looked down at his guitar, deep into his song, not seeming to notice his audience. I couldn't hear most of the words—he sang them too softly for me to catch much—but the notes carried from his voice, in tandem with the guitar, made a powerful combination. I was simply awestruck by the talented, sexy man who sat before me.

It wasn't long before Edward looked up, sensing being watched and flashed me my favorite crooked smile that made my heart lurch and gallop.

"Everything alright?" he asked continuing to play seamlessly.

"Yeah, I told her I'd meet her back at our hotel in a little bit," I said setting his cell phone down on the coffee table, but unable to help myself, I added, "It sounds like the song has grown since last night."

He laughed lightly. "Yeah, it's coming together. I couldn't get it out of my head. It kept me up last night, so I played around with the song for a few hours until I could barely keep my eyes open, jumped in the shower and then joined you in bed.

"It's really beautiful, Edward. I hope to hear it all when you have it done," I admitted.

"You have my word," he promised as stopped playing and set the guitar down. "You have to be famished, I know I am. I was going to either order something up or make some breakfast for lunch. Which do you prefer?"

"I'm fine, you don't have to go through the trouble," I insisted.

"It's no trouble at all, Bella," he insisted.

I tried insisting I could feed myself when I got back to my hotel. I even refused to tell him what I wanted to eat, thinking he would just let it go and let me fend for myself, but all that accomplished was it prompted him to order practically an entire menu of food. I got angry and stomped off to the bedroom to get dressed, after hearing all the food Edward was ordering for just the two of us. But I couldn't even be properly mad at him. His triumphant smile and free laughter of his success was so endearing, I found myself wanting to rip his clothes off instead of being angry.

After the mountain of food was delivered and I begrudgingly ate with him, we both finally admitted that I had to go back to my hotel.

Edward called down to arrange for the car, we left the hotel room and descended the floors in the same elevator as the night before. As soon as we left the room, I noticed that Edward maintained a small distance from me, which honestly wounded me a bit because I didn't understand why. But at least he didn't look angry like he had on the ride up the night before.

A different man was keeping post in the lavish elevator waiting area and greeted us with a cheerful, "Mr. Cullen, Miss," as he held open the door for us.

We got into the waiting car and the moment the door closed, Edward pulled me snugly against him, sitting with his arms around me. I sighed contently. But even in Edward's arms, I couldn't chase off the feeling of a dream being dispelled and disintegrating the further we got from his hotel room. That combined with the fact that I knew I was leaving for home the next day, made me sit somberly as I watched the city pass by from the darkened car window.

"How much longer are you here for?" Edward asked, breaking the silence and pulling me from my sober reverie, when we were almost to my hotel.

"I fly out tomorrow afternoon," I said unable to mask my sadness about that fact, still staring out the window.

Silence sat between us for a minute; my words hanging in the air.

"I know it's probably a long-shot, because I'm sure you have something planned with your friend, but is there any chance I could I see you again before you leave? Sometime tonight?" he asked.

I felt my mood soar up and I turned to look at him.

"Yes."

"Yes?" he asked sounding happily surprised, his emerald eyes danced.

"Absolutely, I would love that," I said, blushing and grinning like an idiot.

The car arrived at my hotel and Edward's lips tenderly met mine for too brief a moment. Then he pulled back, kissed the tip of my nose and promised me we would see one another later that night. I reluctantly exited the car and strode into my hotel wishing for tonight to come quickly and tomorrow to not come at all.

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**AN: As always, thanks to MC for betaing this story and for being the biggest cheerleader for it.**

**I'd love to know what you think. Press [Review] to let me know.**


	13. Chapter 13 Explanations and Gestures

**Reminder: Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, this version of all human events, however, is mine.**

**Thank you to all reviewing & MC for betaing.**

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 13: Explanations and Gestures**

As I had anticipated and dreaded, Rose had hit me with a barrage of questions and requests, for information, the moment I'd walked through our hotel room door.

"I can't believe you actually spend the night with him! How did you end up back at his place? What happened when Emmett and I left? Holy shit, Bella, you're _glowing_," Rose exclaimed, as I walked into the hotel room and over to my phone charger to plug in my dead phone. Her tone turned careful, studying me, "like, post-orgasmic glow, glowing, what happened between the two of you?"

I blushed deeply as I set the phone down on the nightstand, suddenly very aware that I was still in the dress I'd worn the night before—something I'd never before experienced. I felt like what I'd done was written all over the dress I still wore. While I was embarrassed to confess it outright, I felt no shame as was usually associated with "the walk of shame." In fact, I oddly felt kind of proud of it, even if I wasn't shouting it from the rooftops because that just wasn't me.

"Holy shit! It _is_ a post-orgasm glow!" She exclaimed and I blushed deeper. "Well fuck me! A guy finally got you off," she grinned. "Congratulations Bell! Tell me, is it magic hands that Edward possesses?"

"Among other things," I mumbled and bit my lip, feeling my whole body flush with warmth with the admission, as I turned the phone on, now that it was plugged in.

Rose's eyes grew wide in shock. "What? No fucking way!"

I felt like I was blushing so hotly that I going to burst into flames at any moment.

"Bell, what happened last night?" she asked as if she needed me to actually say it to believe it.

I wasn't a woman who shared things like that. I figured that I'd just not been born with the sharing gene like my mother, sister and Rose seemed to possess. Much like I figured that before last night, I'd been born without a raging sex drive like everyone else. But now that I'd finally had an experience actually worth sharing, I found that I kind of wanted to talk about it with my best friend.

I, not being good at sharing, kept mumbling and blushing as I awkwardly confessed how we'd gone back to his place so I could hear him play—leaving out his secret of writing songs—and ended up having sex.

I swore Rosalie looked like her head was going to pop off out of shock, as she listened to my admission.

"Look at you! You're already dying to go back for more, it's written all over your face. I have to give it to him; Edward must have some major skills if he got _you,_ of all people hooked on sex like this."

My eyes flashed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"No offense Bell, but you're the least sexual person I've ever met. You've barely showed mediocre interest in anything physical, and this guy has you talking about how, with him, you completely understand _nymphomania_, for Christ's sake."

I'd confessed that part out loud? Well, shit.

It was true though. _Sigh._

I'd thought or hoped that my overwhelming need to have more of Edward would wane when I'd finally sated my need for him, but instead it had somehow, impossibly intensified. Even after having him multiple times last night and even this morning, I was only just out of his presence and my entire being was already begging to go back for another round. It was almost unnerving how unlike me this overpowering craving of a need for sex and even simple physical touch, with him was. It completely consumed me.

Before Edward, it was just something I never craved, something I never wanted, something I'd done simply because I felt I should. I was in a relationship so a physical relationship was expected of me. I wasn't one to cuddle, a hand-holder, a hugger, someone who wanted to just make-out or stay in bed all day to make love. To me, the physical stuff was almost a chore, something like doing dishes or laundry; you didn't really want to do them, but you needed to do them so you did.

My phone, now on, sounded with messages.

"Those are just probably from me," Rose piped up, "looking for your little ass that was probably getting thoroughly fucked at that very moment." She gave a knowing smirk the almost looked proud. "God, I can hardly believe it," she marveled.

I tried ineffectively to not blush while I rolled my eyes at her and picked up the phone.

Rose laughed, "What? Is it really so bad that I'm down right ecstatic that my best friend _finally_ got properly laid by a man who obviously knows what to do with his dick?"

I ignored her question and looked at my phone. Rosalie was right, there were several messages from her, but there were also a couple from Edward. My heart leaped into my throat as I pulled those up:

_**I can't wait to see you tonight. We can go anywhere you'd like, just tell me what you want to do and I'll make it happen. X**_

Mmm, I knew exactly what I wanted to do…

Wait. Was that "x" a kiss? Did he just send me a kiss?

My heart fluttered and I felt a smile creep across my face like an idiotically, over-excited thirteen year old girl, who was giddy and gushing about a boy who'd simply sent a suggestion of a kiss. But I didn't care. I'd take every last kiss he wanted to give me, real, or virtual.

I looked at the next one, still flying from the first text from him:

_**I wanted to warn you the pictures of us at the restaurant are all over the web. I am really sorry about that. But thankfully, at least they don't seem to have any clue who you are.**_

Thankfully they don't know who I was? My excitedly soaring heart dropped heavily from my throat, to the pit of my stomach.

He didn't want anyone to know who I was? Was he ashamed of me? Was he hoping no one would ever find out about me?

My eyes prickled painfully with threatening tears.

"Bell?" Rose said softly, interrupting my spiralling thoughts. "You went from looking like a kid on Christmas morning, to someone who was just told their dog died. What's wrong?"

"Oh," I said trying to shake off my disheartening line of thinking.

_You don't know that's what he meant, Bella. You're reading too much into it_. I heard a little voice chastise me.

I cleared my throat, chasing away the tears stuck there.

"Edward sent me a text asking what I wanted to do tonight, and then he sent another warning me that the pictures of us from last night were now all over the web."

"What pictures? Sex pictures?" Rosalie asked, wide-eyed, looking almost… hopeful. Apparently after the admission of what I'd done, she'd not thought anything was beyond me any longer.

"Ha ha, Rose. No," I said rolling my eyes at her, while covering up the strange feeling that swept over me at being intrigued with the idea.

My mind quickly jumped from just pictures to recording the entire act. I was shocked at finding I actually _liked_ the idea. A reel of Edward that way, rolled through my head, replaying all our intimate scenes that I had etched in my memory. He was so beautiful anyway, but in bed, he was captivating and hotter than hell: the way his naked body moved, how his muscles bulged and contracted as he moved himself within me, his expressions, his sounds, the way he'd touch me…

Oh God.

Desire raced through me, consuming my entire body that was instantly ready and begging for him.

I already knew just how engrossingly sensual it was first-hand. Just the mental replay was enough to instantly turn me on, the thought of being able to watch him at his best over and over instead of relying on fuzzy or fading memories sounded very appealing.

"Bell? Where'd you go just now?" Rose queried with a speculating look on her beautiful face that made me think she had a pretty damn good idea where I just went.

"Oh, um, nowhere. Sorry," I lied, reluctantly shaking off the surprising erotic thoughts that shot through me to focus.

A playful smile crossed Rosalie's lips, not buying for one second that I'd gone "nowhere".

_Damn me for being an emotional open book!_

"Um," I stammered again, still affected by those fantastically libidinous images I'd just been treated with. I'd realized in my recall of the night to Rose I'd completely forgotten to mention the paparazzi. "After you and Emmet left, Edward called for another car to pick us up, but when we left, there was a crowd of paparazzi outside the restaurant. We had no choice but to walk through them to get to the car. Apparently the pictures they took of us leaving the restaurant are now on the internet."

"Holy shit Bell! You're in the tabloids?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so."

"Well, get your little ass changed, I need to see this," Rose insisted.

Rose filled me in on her exploits with Emmett, as I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and pulled my hair into a ponytail. Leaving my cell in the hotel room to charge, we grabbed our purses and headed out to find a computer do a bit of internet research, then, a last bit site-seeing.

We made our way to a nearby internet café that the concierge directed us to. We grabbed coffees and sat down at a computer. Rose started the search and the images readily came up.

I'd expected the photographs of us coming out of the restaurant, but I hadn't expected the grainy ones, Rosalie had found, of us still inside the restaurant. My chest fluttered at one of them; with the way Edward was looking at me, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. The reverent look on his beautiful face took my breath away.

Rose laughed hardily, "What are the chances that Jessica _won't_ see these in her daily visits to the tabloid and Anthony Cullen websites?"

Oh no.

"Slim to none," I groaned, sounding deflated. "Maybe she won't recognize me, my hair is covering most of my face in the ones outside the restaurant and the couple inside are grainy and not very clear." I added with false hope.

"Fat chance," Rose sniffed, pointing to one of the relevant photos, "it's obvious who that is

"But you're looking at it knowing it's me already, of course you can tell," I defended.

"Really Bell?" Rosalie laughed and looked meaningfully at the grainy photograph that was up on the screen. "A random person on the street that saw these probably wouldn't be able to tell you for certain the same person, but there wouldn't be a doubt in my mind or anyone else's that knows you."

"Oh no. I'm so screwed," I moaned desolately.

"You really are," Rose laughed without solace.

Rose clicked through more search engines and websites. When the photographs began to become redundant she paused for a second contemplating something and then I saw a mischievous look flash in her eyes.

"I wonder…" she trailed off as she typed a new search. "Ha!" she laughed loudly drawing the attention of several people around us and I gave them an apologizing look before I turned to the screen.

"Jeez Rose!" I exclaimed seeing the poor quality photo of Rose and Emmett making out at the concert—practically screwing right there in front of the stage. It looked like another concert goer standing near the pair, recognized Emmett and snapped the picture of the amorous couple. "Did you see any of the concert at all?" I inquired flippantly.

"Mmm, nope not really," she admitted unabashedly, as a wicked grin spread across her face.

When we left the café, we headed to the very touristy Empire State Building, deciding it was one of the places we had to see before we left the city. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday afternoon in early June and the place was packed full of other tourists. Not wanting to spend the whole afternoon just waiting in line, we shelled out the exorbitant amount of money they wanted for the "express" passes that let you jump the line. It proved well worth the cost though and we got to go right up there and then got on our way.

After we left the Empire State Building, we decided that the one last thing we should do in the city that we had time for—because Rosalie was just as impatient to meet back up with Emmett as I was to see Edward again—was the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Despite my distraction, it was a fantastic place that I wanted to visit again when I wasn't so anxious to get out of there because there were so many wonderful things on display. I knew under other circumstances, I would have loved to just spend a day there, just browsing.

But I had other things on my mind.

Thankfully though, the afternoon passed quickly and in no time we were back at the hotel room getting ready for the evening. Rose was currently trying to dissuade my decision to just stay in the jeans and t-shirt I'd worn all afternoon, when my phone rang, singing out my ringtone of my newest favorite song—that I loved even more because now I knew that Edward had probably written it.

I checked the display; it was Edward.

My face lit up.

"Hello?"

"Bella," he said sounding quite relieved. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well," Edward explained, "when you hadn't gotten back to me from earlier, asking you what you'd like to do tonight, I wondered if maybe your plans had changed and I wouldn't get to see you tonight. But then you didn't answer your phone when I called and I got worried that something had happened."

"Oh, no we're still on if you still want to get together," I said hoping more than anything he still wanted to see me. "I had just left my phone at the hotel to charge when Rose and I went out sightseeing. Dead battery, remember?"

"Right. Sorry," he apologized. "So, have you decided what you'd like to do?"

_You._

"No, it really doesn't matter what we do, just nothing fancy, okay?" I requested, already feeling like he had spent too much money on me.

"Nothing fancy?" Edward asked dubiously.

"Yeah, nothing fancy, in fact, why don't I treat tonight? I'm afraid you might be getting the wrong impression of me with Rose having hand-picked my wardrobe for this vacation. I'm really a pizza and beer, and jeans and t-shirt kind of girl."

"Oh no! You need to wear that dress," Rose piped in then she stuck her mouth right up to the phone and added, "Edward, tell her you want her to wear the dress I picked out for her. I promise you that you _won't_ regret it."

"Knock it off, Rose," I said swatting Rosalie away from the phone.

Edward laughed. "How about we do the pizza and jeans another time? It can even be on you, if you insist." Edward promised making my heart leap excitedly at his mention of seeing me again. "But tonight is on me. And you should wear that _dress_" he said in a low, suggestive tone that shot straight to my core, "I need to see what your friend is talking about."

Edward's sex-infused voice melted away my readied defence, causing a lapse in judgment that had me conceding to wear another dress again tonight.

"What time should I come get you?" he asked, his voice still husky making me squirm.

"Um, we should be ready within an hour," I squeaked, trying to calm my breathing.

"We?" Edward asked, surprised. "Oh, of course, I should have realized. How rude of me, you're on vacation with your friend; of course you'll want to spend it with her. I'm sorry for assuming—" he broke off mid-sentence and started another. "I'll call Emmett and—"

"No!" I interrupted him, protesting a bit too strongly. I took a breath to calm my voice before I spoke again. "No. Just you and me."

"Bella," he protested, "it's perfectly fine—"

"No. I want to be with just you tonight," I whispered, afraid to speak the words any louder. It was as if I thought if I spoke the words softly enough, it would also make the admission I was making less blaringly obvious as to why I wanted to be with just him.

"If you're certain—" Edward began not quite believing me.

"I am," I promised firmly, my honesty obvious in my voice.

I could see Rose anytime I wanted to, I didn't know when or if I'd see Edward after tonight. I needed to be with just him, while I could.

He reluctantly conceded and then promised he'd see me in an hour.

When I went to hang up the phone I noticed that it was inundated with text messages and missed calls. One of the texts and one missed call was from Edward wondering what happened to me. But I had eight missed calls and about a _dozen _texts from Jessica, a missed call and a hand-full of texts from Jake, a couple of texts from my mother and even a text from my friend Angela.

What the hell?

My chest tightened, frightened that there was something wrong. I opened the texts from Jake:

_**I don't know what you did or how you pulled it off, but Jess has gone ape shit. She's hysterical. You don't know what we're suffering here at home. **_

It was a strange feeling, having one dread wash away while another one swept in at the same moment.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Jessica knows. _I thought desolately as I went to read the next text from Jake:

_**You are so going to pay for this stunt when you get back.**_

_**You know, I don't think I'm going to pick you up from the airport tomorrow. I should let you find your own way home just for the misery you're causing me.**_

_**Seriously Bells, make it stop! She's lost her God damn mind, and it's worse than normal because of the added pregnancy insanity. Show a little mercy! She's off her damn rocker.**_

Oh no.

I sent him a reply:

_**I'll try to fix it. Sorry. See you tomorrow at baggage claim. We both know you'll be there regardless, Chief, so don't even bother to pretend otherwise.**_

Afraid to open the ones from Jess, I opened the one from Angela figuring it was safer. I was relieved that her text was only about getting together for lunch or something when I got back from New York to tell her all about it. Another text from Jessica arrived, but still avoiding those, I opened the ones from my mom instead:

_**Jess said something about an 'un-freaking-believable' hook-up you're having in NYC. I didn't understand much else she'd said, but, good for you honey! Can't wait to hear about it! :)**_

_**Oh and don't worry about Jess, I think she's just upset that she never had a fling of her own. Glad to see you finally living a little. Fun isn't it? Just remember, always use protection.**_

I didn't even bother replying to Renee. Great sex or not—and it definitely was _great_—I still didn't think that should be a casual conversation topic between mother and daughter, no matter how much she and Jess thought it was.

Unable to avoid it any longer, I took a deep breath and opened the texts from Jessica, reading through the string of them:

_**Liar! You little lying…urgh! Wax figures my $$! What I saw today is definitely my sister with what is definitely NOT a wax figure! LIAR!**_

_**I can't believe you! You didn't TELL me? Your own SISTER? I had to find out from the internet? You lying little $#*t, Bella! F*cking wax figures my $$.**_

_**I hate you. I really hate you. Why won't you pick up your damn phone? Is it because you know you can only lie through text? Yeah, that's what I thought.**_

_**I can't believe you lied to me. Anthony freaking Cullen! Anthony FREAKING Cullen! OMG! This is so unreal! Pick up the freaking phone!**_

_**You should have taken me to NYC with you. Then it would be me with him in that picture. Me! It should be me with Anthony Cullen, not you! Urgh! So not fair!**_

I was surprised to find my thoughts turn dark and almost violent with possessiveness of Edward with reading that text from Jessica. The feeling that swept over me was almost like a child with a beloved security blanket that was being taken away; _No! Mine!_

_No Bella, he is not yours either._ I had to remind myself.

Wait. What? Hold on. He should have been with _her_? What the hell? _Jess, you're married with a kid and twins on the way, what do you mean it should be _you_ with him?_

I was starting to understand Mike's unadulterated hate toward Anthony Cullen, if Jess got this nuts about him all the time.

_**Okay. Fine. Tell me everything! You can make up lying to me by telling me everything. Every last detail. I need to know. Let me live vicariously through you!**_

_**OMG! I still can't believe it. MY sister is sleeping with Anthony FREAKING Cullen! I think I might be hyperventilating. Definitely hyperventilating. Where's a paper bag?**_

I let out a small laugh. I could picture my sister, texting me, pacing around her house, picking up her phone only to see I still hadn't replied, huffing angrily and texting me or calling me again.

Freak out. Anger. Text. Repeat.

My family was seriously unhinged. I didn't know who was worse, my mother or my sister.

_**He's good, isn't he? He's un-freaking-believable in bed, right? What am I saying? Of course he is, just look at him! Oh you lucky $#*t! I hate you.**_

_**No, I changed my mind. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. What am I saying? Yes I do want to know! I REALLY want to know! How amazing is he?**_

I smiled. _Oh God, he's more amazing than you could ever believe. But I'm not going to tell you._

_**OMG, I'm freaking out here! Call me back you little liar! Don't bother denying it! I have proof! You've been found out!**_

_**Hold on! Can I meet him? OMG! Please? I'll be good! I'll be on my best behavior. Promise. Please? OMG! I can't believe it! Anthony Cullen! Anthony FREAKING Cullen! Please?**_

_**Urgh! How the hell did YOU get so lucky? Un-freaking-believable! This is so unfair! Seriously, answer your freaking phone!**_

I had no idea how I'd gotten so lucky. I knew that I didn't deserve any of the time I'd spent with Edward, even if it did only last this weekend. But however I'd managed the luck, I was definitely thanking the gods for this one.

I smiled at my sister, the freak-out queen, shook my head and figured I'd better send her a reply before she riled herself up into early labor or something.

_**Not sure what you're going crazy about today, Jess, but I didn't lie about the pics the other day. Those were pics of us with wax figures. Calm down.**_

_**Oh and could you not tell the whole world everything you assume to know as correct? That's how rumors start & I don't need more of those. Jake & Mom are texting about your rant. We'll talk when I get home.**_

I had made sure I'd mostly stuck to the truth; the original pictures _were_ actually wax figures and I didn't tell her she was wrong with her assumptions, I just didn't tell her she was right either. That way I hoped she'd assume that she'd had it wrong and it wasn't me in the pictures with Edward. If and when I confessed to her that I did spend a good portion of my vacation in New York City with Edw—"Anthony" Cullen, I'd have to be there, so she could freak out to me, and not to the rest of the world. She was telling anyone and everyone about this because she couldn't get it out of her system by talking to me. I wasn't there to bear the brunt of the fall-out of it, so everyone else felt it. But I wasn't ready to confess it today, much less ready to sit and listen to Jess flipping out about it so that answer would have to do for now. Maybe someday I'd tell her that I had actually spent time with Edward, but right now, she didn't need to know even that because I had no idea whether I'd even ever see him again after tonight.

"Hey, what's up?" Rosalie broke my musings.

"Oh, just all hell breaking loose at home," I laughed without humor.

"Oh no. Jess saw the pictures, didn't she?" Rose ascertained immediately.

"Yeah, she definitely did," I said glumly sighing. "Well, hopefully the texts I sent will calm her down a bit, but regardless, I'll deal with that tomorrow when we go home and face reality because I'm not dealing with it tonight." I said putting down my phone on the nightstand.

I hopped into the shower so I could re-shave. When I got out, I quickly realized that my hair was not going to behave itself on its own. I was going to have to force it into submission by either curling or straightening it because Rose insisted that throwing it up into a ponytail was not an option with the dress.

"Hmm," Rose contemplated, holding the dress up to me. "Let's see. Either would work. If you straighten your hair, do up your eyes really dark and dramatic for an edgy look. If you curl it, leave your eye makeup natural and lighter, for a soft look that, like you don't need to try—because really, you don't."

I snorted at her compliment, but plugged in the curling iron. Both last night and the concert, I'd worn far more makeup than I normally ever wore, going out again, with dark, dramatic, smoky eyes again with Edward made me feel like I was giving him an impression of me that wasn't real. True, I was going to be wearing another dress, and that wasn't me either, but at least this way, I'd make sure he saw part of who I really was.

I zipped up the periwinkle ruched halter dress Rose had me buy and bring with me that had originally been meant for the previous night, when we went to see _Chicago_. I slid on the shoes that I'd bought for it, and grabbed my handbag I'd used the night before.

"Are you sure this goes?" I called to Rose who was in the bathroom finishing up getting ready. I looked down at my periwinkle dress with the black handbag and black shoes thinking it just didn't go at all. Shouldn't I have found a matching blue bag and shoes?

"Yes, I'm sure," Rose called from the bathroom. "You'll look amazing. If you don't believe me, look at the bow on the shoes, there's a stripe of the same color as your dress in it—and even if it didn't it'd still look great. It all ties together. Trust me."

Rosalie stepped out of the bathroom wearing a form-fitting, red dress that played up her already perfectly statuesque figure. Her lips were painted the same deep crimson, her eyes were done up dramatically dark and smoky and her flaxen hair spilled thickly in waves down her shoulders with a decorative comb neatly in her hair on one side. She reminded me of a beautifully dressed vixen from an old movie—if they had dresses that short and sassy back then, that is.

"Holy crap Rose!" I said wide-eyed, shocked that she'd impossibly looked more stunning than usual.

"That reaction is about right," she said with a grin. "Not bad yourself, Bell. That man is not going to be able to keep his hands off you looking like that. I actually think I might even like this dress more than the one you wore last night—something about that color with your skin tone just sets it off."

I blushed and mumbled a thank-you.

My phone sounded with a new text. It was Edward letting me know that he'd be here to pick me up in about ten minutes.

Rosalie and I started packing our bags. Neither of us knew how much time we'd have before the flight out the next day, so Rose suggested we just pack everything up and leave them on the bed so we didn't have to worry about it, we could just come grab them tomorrow and head off to the airport.

It was only a few minutes later and Emmett called Rose. She left and I was alone in the small, poorly lit hotel room staring at the made beds with packed suitcases on them that would very likely remain un-slept in until we left tomorrow.

I was wondering if I should just wait for Edward in the lobby, so I could see him that much faster, when I heard a knock at the door.

"Forget something, Rose?" I asked, swinging the door open without checking the peephole, certain she'd just knocked while she searched for her card key in case I was still in the room.

Instead of Rose, my eyes fell upon a gorgeous and very on-edge, Edward wearing a sharp black suite—sans tie. He looked so marvellous it should have been a sin that he wasn't editable because I wanted to devour him. I watched him stand before me as his bright green eyes flicked nervously down the hallway, his one hand shoved into his pocket and the other alternately clutching at and running through his bronze-brown hair. He looked about as nervous as a mouse staring down a serpent, realizing it was doomed.

I sucked in a sharp breath overwhelmed by a strong mix of delighted surprise, uninhibited desire and overwhelming confusion.

Before I could find my voice, Edward—still anxiously darting his gaze down the hall—spoke.

"This was a very poorly thought out idea," Edward said, his words rushed and his voice sounding on edge as he appeared.

I heard a noise down the hall that made Edward's eyes pop wide with wild fright.

"Can I come in?" he pleaded tersely.

I felt his apprehension seep into my body, making me as uneasy as he appeared, despite still not knowing the reason for his tense behavior.

I nodded mutely as I quickly opened the door wider and moved aside to allow him entry. Without a second's delay, he flashed into my room and hastily closed the door behind him, leaving our bodies practically pressed up against one another in the small area behind the door.

"What—?" I started to ask as I looked up at him, but the question was forgotten before it had even been fully formed. As soon as my brown eyes met his green one's that bore back into mine—no longer nervously darting away from me—my ability for coherent thought was lost. His apprehension was gone; in its place was the look that made me forget to breathe. The look that made me feel as though I was the only person in the world, the only one that mattered to him, the look that sent an electric current through my entire being.

I could feel my body instantly stand at attention and ready itself for him; the feeling only growing stronger with the passing seconds, as I watched his eyes grow darker as they filled more and more thickly with raw desire. He pulled his hand up to my face, my cheek sending shivers of heat blossoming out from his touch, while wearing that familiar torn look, I found him wearing so often.

A loud noise from outside the room startled me, pulling me from the hypnotic spell he held over me. My head snapped to look at the door as if I could see through the object to know what was happening on the other side of it. The loud noise was instantly followed by heavy, determined footsteps quickly heading down the hallway accompanied by a chorus if breathless giggles that went swiftly by the room.

"Where did he go?" a girl's voice screeched out of breath, the voices drawing closer again with hurried strides, but not at a run this time.

Accompanying breathy giggles from a couple girls answered her.

"It was the tenth floor, right?" another girl asked desperately. Their voices so clear, it sounded as if they stopped directly outside my room.

"I think so! Crud! I don't know! I thought it was!" the first girl said in a desperate shout.

"I don't get it!" said a third girl. "Why would he be _here_? Like, don't big stars like him stay at like fancy, super expensive places or something?"

"I'm sure this place has those big, fancy rooms too," argued the first.

"Maybe it wasn't him," interjected another.

"It_ was_ him," insisted the first girl. "I would be able to spot Anthony Cullen _anywhere_. Besides, who else in the entire planet has that color hair? No one, that's who. It was definitely him."

"Well, I don't see him here. Let's check other floors in case we were wrong about what floor it was," the third girl said with hopeful excitement.

Another round of squeals and giggles sounded off as they charged down the hallway away from my room, the way a gunshot started a track race.

Then they were gone.

I could feel the tension withdraw from the air surrounding Edward when the girls left for another floor and he began to relax.

"Frightened by a few girls?" I smiled dubiously, teasing Edward.

"You laugh," he retorted defensively, completely serious, "but they're completely crazy! I seriously think it should be considered for teenage girls to be determined as legally insane."

"I didn't laugh," I pointed out with a playful grin, barely holding back a laugh now.

"Maybe not, but you wanted to," Edward said with a smirk and rolled his eyes in humor. Then he sighed heavily, sagged back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why did you come up here instead of having me come down to car?" I asked still unable to understand why he had risked being seen to come up here in the first place.

"I didn't like that I wasn't doing things properly. I felt like an ass for not going to your door to pick you up for a date like I should. So, I'd gotten the 'brilliant' idea, that instead of calling you to come down, I'd come up to your door." I blushed with pleasure at his mention of treating me properly, loving how special it made me feel. I couldn't remember such a sincere gesture being attempted to be made for me before like that.

" I'd called Emmett," he continued, "and lucked out that he'd already picked up Rosalie and got the room number from her. I'd managed to slip into a lift undetected with the help of my driver and was marveling at my slyness until I got to this floor. Someone had just stepped onto the lift across from the one I was exiting and their doors were closing. Those girls noticed me, but thankfully they realized too late and the doors closed before they could stop it. I knew they had definitely recognized me because I could hear their screeches as they moved to a different floor—I feel bad for whoever had gotten onto that lift with them. So I all but ran to your room, hoping against all hope that I didn't have the wrong one or you hadn't left it for some reason."

I smiled with the way he used the term "lift" over "elevator" and how if I really listened to his voice, I could pick up the slightest hint of an English accent with certain words.

I stood there looking at the beautiful man in front of me, talking about wanting to pick me up for a date properly, and listening to his buttery, lightly accented voice; it took everything I could muster to not rip that incredibly sexy suit off his even sexier body.

I dragged my tongue across my lip and bit it.

"What?"

"Nothing," I blushed.

"You're a terrible liar," he called me out, flashing my favorite crooked smile.

I rolled my eyes but didn't reply, unwilling to confess the path my mind was entertaining.

Edward smiled indulgently at me and then, as if only just taking me in, his eyes raked my body; head to toe and back again. I swore I could feel the heat of his eyes caress every last curve he looked at, sending a fresh wave of burning want racing through me. It was all I could do to not moan.

Infuriatingly, Edward didn't move from the wall. Instead he stayed standing there, looking like Adonis, and watched me with those eyes that cut right through me in the most delicious ways imaginable.

"Bella, you look… breathtaking," he murmured. "Rosalie was right; I definitely don't regret seeing you in _that_."

I couldn't hold back any longer, I closed the small distance between us, pulling the palm of my hand to cradle his glorious stubble-covered jaw line and hungrily pressed my lips to his.

His response was instant and heated. I thought I could almost feel relief emanating from him the moment my lips touched his; like it was just as painful for him to not touch me as it was for me to not touch him.

Or maybe the feeling of relief was just mine, because my whole body was sighed with the return of the electrifying touch Edward gave off.

Edward groaned and stepped forward until I was pressed firmly against the opposite wall in the little space. He deepened the kiss, holding my face with one hand and the dip of my back in the other, gripping me hard against him, letting me fully feel his erection pressing against my stomach.

_Oh God. Please, Edward. Take me. Please._ I pleaded in my head as I kissed him back greedily.

Breathing heavily, Edward broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to the wall beside my neck.

I could feel his intensity begin to fade away like a phantom I couldn't grasp.

_No! Controlled Edward was_ not_ invited to this party! _I thought angrily, wishing I knew why he showed up and how to keep him away. _Damn it!_

"It's more than this," Edward mumbled into the crook of my neck. "I need you to know, it's more than just this."

I need to know what is more than what? Had I heard him right? He was still breathing hard and his voice was muffled from speaking against my neck. Either that or the Controlled Edward personality wasn't making any sense—as usual.

I stood there dumbfounded, unable to even figure out what question would make sense to ask him.

He snapped his head back and looked intensely into my eyes, as if willing me to understand something that was on his mind. His eyes heady—making me realize Controlled Edward hadn't completely taken over control—but they were also pleading, trying to communicate something that was the upmost importance I was unable to understand.

He looked so vulnerable. I wanted to fix it; I wanted to take away the sadness that riddled his eyes, but not knowing what tormented him, I didn't know how or where to begin. He saved me from trying to figure it out by speaking again.

"Stay with me?" he breathed. "Don't leave me tonight, stay with me until you have to go tomorrow. No expectations, I just want you with me for as long as possible. Will you stay, please?"

I nodded fervently, still unable to find my voice, wanting nothing more than to have as much time with him as possible.

Edward let out a breath of relief and gave an exalted smile before he kissed me with earnest passion. Our kiss was wrought with raw emotion; twisted with the knowledge that after tonight, it was all unknown.

My heart ached painfully with knowledge that tonight might be all I have left with him. The thought horrified me and unhindered my shyness, making me kiss him that much harder and led the way to my bed, my thoughts becoming singular. I needed him and he was there with his arms securely around me. Right now, that was all that mattered.

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	14. Chapter 14  Stealing Time

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 14: Stealing Time**

Edward smirked; amused by my balked expression to the place he'd brought me to for dinner tonight. Even in my semi-expensive dress, I felt out of place; I was definitely out of my element and I could have only imagined what it cost to eat at a place like this. I'd started to protest but he gently laid his fingers against my lips, cutting me off.

"I never promised that I wouldn't take you some place nice _tonight_," he grinned wickedly in response to my eye roll, effectively causing my breathing to hitch. "I told you, I wanted to take you out properly." Then he leaned in to me, bringing his lips to my ear, whispering low and sensually. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to have worn that pretty _dress_," he said dropping his voice to a deep breathy growl that shot through me and made my lungs pull in the air disjointedly, "for nothing."

His tone of voice instantly had my mind replaying what had transpired between us in my hotel room earlier.

"_Bella, I—." Edward began to protest in a low voice, when he caught onto my intended destination and intentions, halting us from our progress toward the bed._

_I cut off his protest with my lips. _

_He tried again, "Bella __I __meant what I said; no expectations. Not just with staying with me tonight, but now. You don't have to—"_

"_It's not that," I insisted—because it _wasn't—_shaking my head. How could I make him understand? "It's— Edward, I _need _you," I breathed, surprising myself with the confession I'd made aloud, and even more so, that I hadn't one twinge of regret about the declaration. "I just need you," I whimpered again, feeling almost relieved with confessing it again. I stared up into his piercing green eyes, pleading for him to understand just how much I needed him and I wasn't acting out of obligation; my days of obligatory sex were distant, fading memories._

_He stared back intently into my eyes, as I watched his brew another war—that familiar battle in his eyes that I still didn't know what the opposing sides were that had been staked. But just as quickly as I caught the turmoil there, it dissipated. His eyes softened and he swallowed hard. He slid his hand to the back of my head, slipping his fingers through my hair and running his finger along my jaw with the other, before kissing me tenderly._

"_You're making it very difficult for me to be a gentleman," he accused in a heady voice. His prurience filled eyes flickered with light amusement before he kissed me passionately and lowered me to the bed._

If what he had done to me was un-gentlemanly, well then I didn't want him to be a gentleman.

The memory effectively solicited a soft moan to escape my lips. Edward's keen ears heard the light sound and I watched his eyes darken with desire in response, making me want to take his hand and drag him back to bed that very moment.

My weak willpower was saved by the man who called our attention to follow him to our table.

When we were seated—in an attempt to hold my ground against the putty I seemed to turn into when Edward was near me—I stubbornly made sure he knew that I thought, regardless of wanting to take me out, it was still unnecessary for him to waste this kind of money on me.

Edward's eyes flashed hard for a moment angrily, and then he shook his head, "Bella, I can think of _nothing_ better to spend money on than on something for you. It would be a _waste_," he said throwing the word I'd used, back at me, "to not take you out and treat you properly. Not to mention it would be unforgivable for me to behave in such a way—especially since I'm failing miserably at doing this correctly in other areas."

He raised his eyebrows meaningfully. He held his hardened expression, but the anger was gone and a playful look danced in his eyes, causing flashes of fantastic, lascivious memories to greet me once again.

A shiver of heat flashed across my skin.

"Are you saying you regret it?" I challenged boldly, but felt my confidence in the question drop out from under me the moment the words passed through my lips. I was suddenly unsure. Maybe he had regretted sleeping with me.

My chest tightened painfully as I held my expression, trying to hide my uncertainty.

"No, not even if I live for an eternity," he said with conviction, then took a breath and continued, "but the fact remains that you deserve better than that, and I'm determined to make it right." His voice was determined and almost authoritative, as if closing the subject. I hoped fervently that he didn't plan to make it right by not about touching me again tonight because I knew if he did that, I would probably burst into flames.

After we'd gotten our drinks and ordered our food, Edward pulled out his phone that had sounded with a message. He laughed and shook his head.

"Sorry. It's Emmett," he explained typing back a reply. "He says to tell you, 'hi'" he said and then added under his breath, "...in his own, Emmett way."

"What do you mean, 'in his own Emmett way'?"

"Nothing," he breathed a laugh.

I would have pressed it, but the mention Emmett reminded me of something more pressing that I'd wanted to ask Edward.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" he asked looking up from his phone with those heart-stopping, green eyes of his.

It took me a second to catch my breath and remember what I wanted to say.

Holy crow. I was having trouble remembering my name.

Question. I had a question. I closed my eyes to regain linear thought.

Right.

"What's a spinner?"

He laughed loudly. "So _that's_ why you didn't object to Emmett's nickname for you."

I blushed, embarrassed by my ignorance.

Edward stopped laughing, noticing my blush. His expression turned wantonly; making me blush deeper and bite my lip.

"You drive me crazy when you do that, you know," he accused.

I looked at him confused. "Blush?"

"Bite your lip," he clarified and then added, "but yeah, that too."

He smiled at my obvious discomfort with the compliments, watching my blood stained cheeks continue to fire with his warm scrutiny, as if lost in thought. It was a long enough pause that I began to wonder if I needed to repeat my question, but then debated if I really wanted to remind him of my ignorance or just drop it.

"A spinner refers to a small, fine-framed woman," he said breaking the silence, keeping his eyes trained on me, watching my reaction.

Well that wasn't so bad. Why would he think I would have objected to that?

Edward smiled at my confusion that had to have been written all over my face. His smile turned into a smirk and then, watching me carefully as if anticipating my reaction to what he was about to say, added, "It's a sexual term."

Wait. _What_?

Edward breathed a laugh, amused by my increasing confusion and explained more thoroughly, "It's a term for a woman who's essentially so small and light, a guy could in effect pick her up and _spin_ her around to different positions in bed without breaking the, uh, _connection_."

"Oh."

_Oh!_

My face went up in flames, blushing deeper than I've ever recalled blushing before. I lowered my head; I was so mortified at my naivety.

Oh my God.

"What did you think spinner meant?" he asked curiously, unable to hide a wide smile, enjoying my obvious embarrassment far too much.

"I had absolutely no clue," I shrugged trying to will my body to stop flushing.

"None whatsoever?" he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly as if not quite believing that I could have had no idea, despite my transparent honesty.

I shook my head. Edward had no idea what a sheltered sexual life I had led.

"I wondered," I explained, "if the term meant I was short or small with the way he used it and wanted to know if that was right or not, but there never seemed an opening to ask. I didn't have any objections to the name itself and I heard Emmett tell you it wasn't a bad thing, so it didn't seem like something I needed to be concerned about."

"I can ask Emmett to start addressing you with your name," Edward offered.

"No, that's alright," I said.

"You're still okay with it even now that you know what he means by it?" Edward asked, surprised.

"I can't explain it right; coming from anyone else, I probably would be creeped out by the name knowing what it technically means. But coming from Emmett, it seems… fitting."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

"I told you I couldn't explain it right," I said frustrated with myself for not being able to find the right words and tried again. "I just don't think Emmett means anything by it, I get the feeling that to him, a spinner is just as benign a thing to call me as calling your sister—what was it?—a pixie? Emmett seems the kind to give people nicknames. Besides I figure, there are worse things he could have called me."

Edward laughed in amusement. "Well, you seem to have his personality pretty well pegged." He took a drink, and a mischievous look crossed his face. "Would you have been 'creeped out' if I had been the one to call you a spinner?"

"I don't know. I can't picture you deciding to call me that," I replied.

He smiled, but I couldn't read what the smile could have meant, then his eyebrows pushed together and he asked, "Is your full name Bella or is it short for something?"

I smiled with mirth. "Bella is short for Isabella—Isabella Marie Swan. But I don't like being called Isabella," I crinkled my nose in distaste of the name. "I've insisted on being called Bella since I was young. Only my mom still calls me Isabella sometimes, other than that, most people only know me by Bella. Why?"

"Curiosity. We were discussing names," he explained simply, but I had the feeling there was something beneath the question, though something told me I wouldn't get the answer out of him.

Dinner flowed in a similar fashion with light, easy conversation, making me _almost_ forget that tomorrow by this time we'd be more than a thousand miles apart and I'd be a distant memory to him, at best.

_Almost_.

Who was I kidding? The thought loomed over every moment like a creeping shadow that I was trying desperately to pretend wasn't there.

"Shall we?" Edward asked as he signed the bill with a flourish, grinning up at me.

"Where are we going?" I asked taking the last swallow from my glass, hoping fervently that we were going back to Edward's room. I didn't want to share any more time I had with him. I knew I was being selfish, but I wanted every last moment to myself, before I had to let him go.

"I was thinking maybe we could go dancing. There's this really great—"

"No dancing," I insisted, cutting him off, horrified at the prospect.

"Why not?" he chuckled, pushing his eyebrows together in curious amusement at how adamant I was about the topic.

_I don't want you to see me fall flat on my face._

"I don't dance," I replied simply hoping he'd drop it.

He quirked an eyebrow at me quizzically sensing there was more to it than just that. "Hmmm, I bet _I_ could get you to dance," he challenged playfully.

"Not a good idea."

He laughed. "Alright. No dancing. Where would you like to go instead?"

"I'm not really in the mood to go out," I admitted. "Would you mind if we just went back to the room?"

"You are completely insatiable," he accused, sounding serious, but his eyes flickered with humor. It almost looked like he _liked_ the idea that I couldn't get enough of him.

"No," I protested a bit too quickly. "I just don't feel like being around a lot of people. Maybe you could play for me again?" I asked hopefully. "I really loved listening to you play, you know."

Edward visibly fought against a playful smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Mmm-hmm. We both know where my playing for you got us last time. Nice try, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. That wasn't fair.

While it was true that my body was already tingling on edge from the fact that we'd just sat all through our meal, across the table from one another, close enough to touch but never did; it wasn't like I was trying to lure him back to the room just to get him into bed.

Floozy Bella snorted at me, as if telling me to sell shit somewhere else.

Okay, so it wasn't like I hadn't been sitting through the entire meal imagining vivid details of exactly what I wanted to do with him. But that wasn't to say that I _only _wanted to go back to his hotel room just for sex, because I didn't. I wanted to be alone with him; where he let down his guard some, where he relaxed and seemed more real. Besides, I'd never been very comfortable having attention on me and wherever Edward went, eyes were on him, therefore, it felt like they were on me. The feeling was unnerving and I didn't know how he did it all the time.

I pulled myself from my thoughts and responded to his playful accusation.

"No expectations," I promised, teasing back, using the words he'd said to me earlier, on him.

He smirked at me playfully.

Then turning my tone serious, telling him honestly, I said, "Edward, by this time tomorrow, I'll be back home in Port Angeles, I want to be with only you from now until I have to go, please."

I don't know what he saw on my face or in my tortured brown-eyes that pleaded with him, but Edward let out a quick breath, ran his hand through his hair and nodded, studying me, but said nothing. Then he got up from the table and quickly moved to my side to pull out my chair.

I looked up at him and murmured, "thank you," not used to that kind of attention.

Unlike the night before, we were able to get to the car without a flourish of camera flashes, to which I was grateful. But also unlike the night before, Edward didn't place his hand on the small of my back as we left; in fact, he kept his hands determinedly set inside his pant pockets the whole way to the car. I couldn't help but wonder why and my self-doubt reared his ugly head again, reminding me of his text to me earlier about being glad that no one knew who I was.

I couldn't shut up the voice inside my head that kept asking the question: _Is he ashamed of me?_

I shook off the thought; he wouldn't have taken me out again or wanted to go dancing with me tonight if he was ashamed of me, right? Besides, it didn't matter, I wouldn't let it matter. Nothing like that mattered tonight; nothing at all. I'd worry about everything I didn't want to face now, when I went home. Tonight all that mattered was Edward was with me and he wanted me to stay with him up until the minute I had to go home. _That _was what mattered. My doubts, worries, insecurities and the ramifications of what had happened here in New York, would all have to wait until then.

I thanked Charlie, Edward's driver, for opening the car door for me to which he returned with a crinkly grin. Then Edward offered his hand to help me into the car. I blushed uncomfortable with the fawning. Like Edward pulling my chair out for me in the restaurant, it felt overwhelming and unnecessary to me.

When Edward climbed in the car behind me, he pulled me over to him, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly against his side. Instantly I felt everything else in the world wash away except for him and me.

I let out a hum of contentment and rested my head on his shoulder. I couldn't help but smile at the knowledge that all my things should be waiting for me in Edward's room. And liking that fact far more than I knew I should.

...

Before dinner, after Edward behaved—to my satisfaction—very un-gentlemanly, when we were still hold up in my hotel room, Edward called Charlie up to the room, while I called up Rose and then the front desk to check out of our room. Charlie retrieved both my and Rosalie's luggage and took them to the car to deliver them to Edward and Emmett's rooms, accordingly.

Edward and I waited a few minutes in the room after Charlie left and then went down to the car ourselves. I didn't understand why, until Edward pointed out that, in the chance that someone had spotted him other than those thirteen-year-old girls and had tipped off the paparazzi; our being spotted in a hotel lobby together would be speculated and picked apart as it was. If we were spotted in a hotel lobby together with a couple bags of luggage in tow, a whole lot more could be construed from that. He insisted that I shouldn't be put in a situation where I could be pulled through the mud like that. In fact, he debated on having me go down separately from him for that same reason, but I stubbornly refused, telling him that if the only reason for going down separately was concern for me, I could handle myself just fine.

I couldn't help but laugh at Edward as we left the room, watching him turn instantly on edge, the moment we stepped into the hallway. He kept checking over his shoulder and down the hall to see if anyone else was there and jumping at noises I couldn't hear. He only relaxed minutely once we got into the elevator and started our decent, but he watched the numbers intently as if willing the elevator to not stop to pick up someone on another floor. Luckily, the hallway had been unoccupied and the elevator went directly to the lobby. However, when we exited the elevator we were greeted by a group of teenage girls, presumably the same girls from earlier, who were camped out there. They startled several people in the previously quiet space when they saw Edward step out of the elevator and rushed him with squeals, screams and incoherent babbling.

It was fascinating to watch Edward morph instantly into 'Anthony Cullen, the actor', before my eyes. It was like a switch he turned on. It was a lot like him, but somehow… not at all. He still pulled his hands through his hair and shoved his hands in and out of his pockets; something I was beginning to recognize as nervous mannerisms. But, to anyone who didn't know him, if they'd seen him at that moment with those girls, wouldn't be able to tell he was uncomfortable at all with the attention, as I knew he was. In fact, if I were to have told a stranger watching, that the Anthony Cullen that was smiling and posing with those girls for pictures, had been genuinely terrified of and desperate to hide from the same girls an hour earlier, they would have laughed in my face, thinking the idea was preposterous. But Edward looked like it was nothing, as he humored the girls and kept glancing at me apologetically. I just smiled back, enjoying the show, since they thankfully acted as if I'd been all but invisible—something I almost attained to in my everyday life. Edward finally excused himself, thanking the girls, saying he had to leave, and then escorted me out of the hotel to the waiting car, with his hand placed protectively on the small of my back.

...

I felt the car slow and turn, and looked around, noticing we were already entering that cavernous area of Edward's hotel garage, that we had been dropped off at the night before. I'd been lost in a comfortable silence as Edward held me; it had felt like no time at all had passed. I couldn't help but fear that the same would happen with the rest of the night.

I straightened up preparing to exit the car and felt Edward almost reluctantly release me from his arms before I reached for the handle the moment the car stopped. I started to open the door, but Charlie was there, in a flash, hurriedly opening the door for me, as if the thought of my opening my own door was not to be heard of.

I blushed and thanked him as he helped me out of the car. I paused until Edward was by my side and he placed a soothing, electric hand on the small of my back. The man standing in the elevator waiting area to receive us greeted us cheerily and surprised me by knowing my name this time. I'd wondered how he'd come to know it; I figured maybe Charlie had passed along the information, as I couldn't see Edward doing so.

The elevator ride up to his room held a comfortable silence this time; not uncomfortable and on edge like the night before when, for a reason I still hadn't figured out, Edward had seemed angry. Though the ascent seemed comfortable, I hadn't realized how on edge he had been until I almost felt his unease drain away the moment we stepped into his room and the door closed behind us.

He turned to me, as if to say something, but he stopped in his tracks, looking mesmerized by the sight of me, as if he'd not been looking at me the entire night already. He began to reach out his hand to take mine. But just before his fingers grazed mine, his cell phone sounded, pulling him from the moment.

Stupid, damn cell phone.

Edward withdrew his outstretched hand and pulled it through his disarrayed bronze hair, as he shut his eyes and shook his head as if pulling his thoughts together. He opened his eyes and flashed me an apologizing smile as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He looked at who was calling him, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed as if he didn't want to answer the call, but knew he had to.

"Sorry, but if I don't take this now, she'll be calling all night," he apologized to me and then put the phone up to his ear and turned away.

She? I could feel a pit in my stomach knot with jealousy and hurt.

Thankfully the feeling was short-lived though, as it all but vanished a second later when I heard him answer the phone, addressing the woman as "Alice".

I smiled and made my way to the bathroom to freshen up and to give Edward some privacy to talk with his sister. I felt a surge of excited satisfaction when I turned on the bedroom light, on my way to the bathroom, and saw my suitcase standing next to the dresser.

Edward really wanted me to stay with him tonight. I was really going to stay here with him again. It was almost too surreal to comprehend.

I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror when I entered the bathroom; I was grinning like an absolute idiot and couldn't help but laugh at myself. But really, I had every reason to grin like a total idiot. I was the luckiest person in the world tonight, being the one who got to spend it with Edward.

When I came back out of the bathroom, I could hear that Edward was still on the phone, so I walked over to my suitcase, took off my heels and set my purse on the dresser. I paused there, not knowing where else to go or what to do while I waited. I didn't want to interrupt his phone call and tried to not listen to his conversation. I pulled out my phone to check for missed calls or texts for something to do. There were both. I scrolled through the texts from my family—namely Jessica—but I couldn't say what they had said; I just couldn't give them any of my attention and energy tonight, as it was all completely focused on Edward.

_I'll deal with them tomorrow, like everything else._ I thought as I shoved my phone back into my purse. I found, despite my best efforts to not listen in on Edward's conversation, it was impossible to not hear him as he was standing just on the other side of the wall.

"It's a bit soon for that, Alice," he told his sister. "I haven't even talked with her about—" he let out an irritated growl with being cut off—the sound shot to my core. "Yes, my little omniscient sister." He chuckled. "But I'm not promising anything. No, Alice. It's not about _wanting_ to—" He sighed. "You know, you may be as little as a pixie, but you're irritating enough for a giant." He breathed a defeated laugh. "Alright, I'll think about it." Then Edward let out a sharp breath of a laugh. "Yeah, I know," he said with a smile in his voice and then laughed more heartedly. "I do. See you soon."

"Bella?" Edward called after a couple moments, pulling me from my statue-like stance, I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"I'm in here," I called back starting to walk toward the bedroom door, but Edward beat me there. Standing in the doorway, he flashed an impish grin when his eyes found me.

"Straight to the bedroom, love?" he asked quirking an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame with a playfully arrogant smile. "I was right. You _are_ completely insatiable."

"No, I just— you— I went—" I took a breath and tried again. "You were on the phone—I didn't want to—" I stammered sounding like a complete idiot, flushing tomato red.

Edward breathed a laugh. "I don't think I could ever tire of getting you to blush," he said flashing my favorite crooked smile as he straightened up and closed the distance to me sliding his hands along my waist. "So beautiful," he murmured as he reached up with one hand and slid the back of his fingers along my flaming cheek.

His eyes met mine and just like that, I was lost in them, I swam in their emerald depths never wanting to surface and as desperate as ever to have him again.

"I see your luggage arrived without issue," he said keeping his eyes on me, his voice thicker now than it had just been.

I nodded, fighting against Edward's eyes and natural, dizzying fragrance to find my voice again. "I guess you're kind of stuck with me now," I said without volume.

"Hmm. You make it sound like a punishment," he accused.

I bit my lip holding back my retort.

Edward wrapped his fingers under my chin and put his thumb to my lip, releasing it from my teeth and then tipped my head up further to him, our lips just not touching. "Well if it is a punishment, it's one I'll happily take."

I was stunned by the sweet smell of his breath, as it swept across my face. Then Edward closed the small distance and gently brushed his lips to mine, sliding his hand to cup my face, bowing my back with the other to press the length of my body firmly against his.

I groaned in relief and kissed him back eagerly, sliding my hands around his neck, desperately clutching him closer to me.

Next thing I knew, my hands moved to the button on his pants.

"Insatiable," he teased grabbing a hold of my wrists, smiling against my lips and sending a concentrated scent of Edward to blow across my face. I took a couple of breaths to steady myself, but was unsuccessful, as the air was laced with Edward. I opened my eyes to look at him and was instantly trapped in his.

"Only with you," I admitted, being far too honest with what I was thinking—affected, as always, by the drug that radiated off of him.

A blush swiftly followed a second later; it traveled across my face and dove down my neck in a flash, as I realized what I'd confessed aloud. I forced myself to pull away from his spellbinding eyes, directing them down with embarrassment of saying too much.

Edward put his fingers on my chin, tipping it up once again to force me to look back up at him.

"That makes two of us," he told me, his eyes burning with an intensity that melted me, making my breathing speed. I wondered if I was going to tackle him to the bed and rip off our clothes or continue to be rendered an idiot, speechless, like I was.

My heart was pounding fiercely with hope that what I had heard him say wasn't just one of my hallucinations.

Edward took a deep breath as if to calm himself. "Come on, love," he said stepping away and taking my hand, moving to leave the bedroom.

_Wait. What? _

I could feel my whole body whine in unison with a horrified protest. _No!_

A gentle laugh slipped through his lips as he looked back at me and caught my reaction. I knew my objection, to his suggestion, was written all over my face, as that was where all my emotions seemed to prefer to live.

"If we start that now, we're sure to not do anything else until you have to leave tomorrow," he said stepping back to me, dragging his thumb along my bottom lip, sending a fresh wave of want to surge through my body.

_And the down side to that is…?_ Floozy Bella piped up.

Edward laughed at my expression that I knew once again said exactly what I was thinking without me having to say a word.

"Believe me, I _want_ to…" he practically growled. Then he shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before looking back to me and continuing, "But why I want you here is not just how amazing you _feel_, Bella. It's _everything_ about you. I want to know more about you," his eyes burned with sincerity.

"What is there to know?" I asked, my voice sounding a bit too petulant.

"Tons," he insisted with a laugh at my tone. "I feel like I've barely scratched the surface."

"Trust me, I'm not that interesting," I scoffed.

"On the contrary, I find you as fascinating as you are beautiful."

I snorted a laugh for his infused meaning on both accounts.

"Like that," he said, his eyebrows pushing together with a mixture of concern, sadness and confusion. "What makes you see yourself in such a skewed light?"

"I see myself just fine, Edward," I defended. "I think I have a very realistic view of myself, actually. I know what I am and what I'm not. And I'm fine with it."

I felt my view of myself was very realistic and accurate. I had no misconceptions that I possessed beauty or ample sex appeal that often were delusions women frequently had about themselves, based on wishes and fantasy. I knew I was just another ordinary face, an average person. I wasn't ugly; pretty enough, but by no means was I a knockout or a head-turner—nothing out of the common way and definitely nothing along the lines of _beautiful_. But I didn't really have hard feelings about that fact. Actually, I sometimes figured that I was happier because of it; I don't think I would want to be as glamorously stunning as Rose; the attention that came with that level of beauty was something I would never desire.

"No, Bella," he disagreed, shaking his head. "You don't see yourself clearly at all and I can't figure out why. From what I've gathered of your relationships with your siblings, parents and friends, and what I've witnessed with your interactions with Rosalie, none of it speaks at all to why you'd have such an unfoundedly poor view of yourself. I know I only know a little about them, but none of them seem toxic or harmful to you. Instead, it's almost like you see something completely different than everyone else. It's frustrating because I'm not sure what it is or why. I can usually read people pretty well, but I can't seem to quite figure you out."

"You're kidding right?" I sniffed. "My mom has always called me an open book because my emotions are always written all over my face. And you seem to read every last one of them with unfailing accuracy."

"That's true," he conceded. "You don't hide what you're thinking and feeling well; like your easy blushes," he smiled when I blushed in response, but then the smile faded as he continued. "But your easily read emotions are deceptive; because I can't read what's behind the emotions. I've never met someone so difficult to figure out."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.

"What?"

"Even if what you say is true," I said in a way that said clearly that I didn't believe it was, "You still have me beat far and wide with the mystery department."

"What do you mean?" he asked, sounding like he genuinely had no idea what I'd meant.

"Despite your claim that you say too much around me, I feel like I know next to nothing about you. You're the master of selective response. Don't get me wrong, I understand why you do that, but out of the two of us, I'm the one who doesn't know anything about you, not the other way around."

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know everything about you," I admitted. My heart kicked into double-time with the admission and quickly added, "But I want to respect your need to not divulge things. You're obviously a very private person; I'm not going to push you to tell me anything you don't want to share."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know, Bella."

"Anything?" I asked. The question I wanted so badly to ask him, perched on the edge of my tongue, painfully aching to jump off.

"Anything," he said seriously, his eyes boring into mine—the look that usually seemed to hold some sort of truth serum. But when I opened my mouth to ask him, the words didn't come. They lay heavy on my tongue, refusing to budge from their spot in fear that if they leapt, the answer would most likely not be the one I wanted—the one I _needed_.

The ache in my chest told me I simply couldn't handle that conversation tonight. Or more accurately, I just couldn't face the answer to that question quite yet.

Edward smiled at my hesitation, mistaking it for being unable to think of something to ask him. "How about you figure out what exactly you want to ask me while I show you something."

I just bit my lip and nodded. I was afraid to speak, not trusting my voice as I fought the sadness and fear of what his response to that question would be.

Edward took my hand in his and led me out of the bedroom.

"Did you want something to drink?" he offered pausing at the bar.

I shook my head.

Edward continued making his way to the sheathed wall I'd pondered about the night before. He slid his hand behind a break in the covering. I heard the sound of a door sliding open and he stepped behind the curtain.

I hesitated.

"It's fine, Bella. Trust me," Edward called from the other side of the screen. He offered his hand and I took it, stepping through without another thought.

I gasped at the sight.

We were standing on a balcony, over-looking the city. The balcony was very dark as the sun had already set on the city and with all the light from the inside blocked off, I could only faintly make out privacy partitions on either side of it, as well as a table and a few lounging chairs. But the balcony itself wasn't why I gasped; it was the view of the city below—it was a phenomenal thing to take in. A chaotic smattering of lights stretched in every direction. Each small light stabbed into the black night; moving red and yellow-white lights from the cars below, sporadic clusters of lights blotted throughout the varied heighted buildings, and orange-white streetlamps dotted between the buildings—lights everywhere. Each singularly small light that would make very little impact on its own, together with all the rest formed almost a faint glowing haze, like an orange aura around the city.

"_This_ is the view you block off?" I asked with a mixture of amazement and disbelief still stunned by the sight I was taking in—there was _so_ much to see.

"It's not the view I have that I object to," he said pulling me around in front of him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head. My body wanted to purr in contentment of the moment. As it was, I smiled like a schoolgirl and leaned into his chest. "It's the view I'm potentially allowing to others."

Sensing my confusion, he clarified.

"The entire wall of this place—except the bedroom—is glass, which does have quite an effect, but also doesn't offer any privacy. I've learned the hard way on that one," he added with a bit of acid in his voice.

"Should we be out here at all then? Could someone spot you?" I asked, tensing up, on edge fruitlessly looking into the darkness to see if we were being watched and eyeing nearby buildings suspiciously. I wasn't concerned for myself, because who would care to watch me standing on a balcony, but for Edward.

"No, the blinds block all the light," he pointed behind us to the almost black wall. "It's dark enough out now that we can take in the view without worrying about that."

I relaxed back into his chest.

We stood there for awhile as we listened to the seemingly distant noises of the constantly moving city below; sirens of emergency vehicles sounded, car alarms were going off, horns honking, and the whole city seemed to constantly buzz with its infinite movement. Edward drew mindless designs gently on my arms and occasionally I'd feel Edward's short stubble catch in my hair followed by another tender kiss to the top of my head. It was peaceful and wonderful. I wanted to freeze the moment.

"I was going to bring you out here last night," Edward said softly, breaking the comfortable silence, "but we got a little… _sidetracked_."

I could hear the playful smile I knew he was wearing, in his voice.

"Hmm," I hummed with the wash of memories that flooded in with his statement and couldn't help but smile myself. "Well, I have to say, as fantastic as this is, I would take that sidetrack over the view, _anytime_," I said matter-of-factly, surprised by my blasé admission and even more so that chagrin didn't immediately follow my statement. The darkness must have been bolstering my boldness of confessions because, impressively, I didn't even blush.

"Insatiable," he accused with a laugh as he brushed his lips on the crown of my head. But then he moved his one arm down to wrap around my waist and pulled me in closer, holding the length of my body more securely against his.

I gasped. His pulling me closer to him effectively pressed the back of my hips to the front of his and allowed me to very noticeably feel, that despite his playful admonishment, he was actually very ready for me.

Instantly, the air around us thickened and crackled.

I felt a warmth spread through me that had nothing to do with the city's sticky night air and everything to do with Edward. My entire body unleashed its restraint and immersed itself in the desire I had for him. I shamelessly pressed myself against him and rolled my hips against his erection.

I heard a light rumble come from his chest in response and he trailed his fingers along my collar bone.

Anticipation warmed my lungs until they tingled, making my breathing shallow with the hope that he wouldn't find a reason to stop this time.

"I'm trying to behave myself, but you're making it incredibly difficult. I am a man, Bella, my willpower isn't superhuman," he murmured, his lips grazing my ear as he ghosted a hand between my breasts, down my stomach and back again, teasing me.

I moaned lightly in response to his touch and opened my neck to him in offering, leaning the back of my head against his chest. "I'm not asking for you to be superhuman, Edward," I said, my voice slightly unsteady.

He bent forward tipping his head over the sensitive skin just under my jaw line, hovering over it, barely keeping his lips from touching me. I could feel his breath caressing my skin with light, teasing licks each time he exhaled, driving me mad with desire for his actual touch. I could almost hear every cell in my body begin to vibrate, as if every part of me was singing out in tandem for him while he hesitated.

My breathing became heavy and disjointed with the painful anticipation.

"Edward," I whimpered, unable to suffer in silence any longer.

He gasped at the sound of his name. His mouth attacked me with a wild urgency that had every nerve-ending he caressed relishing in his gratifying attention. His arms gripped me tightly against him, moving greedily along my body until one hand plunged into my dress taking ownership of my breast and the other grabbed the bottom hem of my dress, gathering it up in his fist, dragging his fingers along the inside of my thigh as he slowly worked his way up—torturing me in the most delicious way, until they brushed along my sex.

"Oh God," I moaned as I ground into his hand greedily. "Please Edward. I need you in me. _Now_," I added, my tone betraying my sheer desperation. I felt wild with it.

I was so turned on that I couldn't find it in me to be embarrassed that'd just made such a bold confession. Because honestly there were a whole lot more things—far more colorfully descriptive—that were sitting on the edge of my lips begging to be said I had never before dreamed of, but wanted to beg for Edward to do to me now.

My breathing turned heavier when his fingers began to travel back and slipped under my panties, first sliding them against me and then diving inside, soliciting a well-earned moan of release.

"Christ Bella, you feel so good," he breathed.

I reached behind me, slipping my hands between us, grasping for the waist of his pants, fumbling in my blind desperation as he yanked down my underwear, almost ripping them in his haste. His mouth became more urgent against my skin, turning rougher with each kiss as it traveled along my neck and along my jaw. Finally I succeeded in freeing him and backed myself up against him.

_Oh God. Please._ I begged silently, pushing against him until he was lined up to me. I moaned and pushed against him, feeling a strange rush of increased frustration that he wasn't in me yet and the sweet edge of release that he nearly was. When he started to enter me; the anticipation was painfully tangible.

"Jesus Christ!" he cursed against my neck. "_Fuck!_"

Edward pulled away from me. Leaving me confused.

I held back a whine at the loss of his touch and turned to him just in time to see him stand up from a crouched position. I jumped at a dull thud that hit the table next to me unable to see what it was. Then I heard a familiar ripping sound as he cursed softly between heavy breaths.

I reached out to him blindly in the dark, barely able to make out his figure when he roughly grabbed me pulling me into his arms and kissed me forcefully. I could feel his wild desperation as our mouths frantically tried to consume the others. Then he stopped and flipped me around abruptly. His lips were immediately on my neck, kissing me just below my ear letting me hear his heavy, disjointed breaths that turned me on further. Then his hands grabbed my hips tightly pulling them back against him. He whispered my name in a desperate plea against my neck, as I reached back grabbing a fist-full of his hair.

Then I bent forward placing my hands on the table in front of me for support.

He quickly positioned himself behind me and thrust into me roughly.

I screamed out.

He stopped instantly wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling my back to his chest.

"Are you okay?" Edward breathed heavily into my ear, concern overriding everything else.

I nodded almost frantically. "Do that again," I begged breathlessly. "Please."

Edward let out a heady laugh that held a mixture of relief and desire as he let go of his hold around my waist and slid his hands back to my hips, letting me lean forward again.

He grasped my hips tightly and repeated the action making me scream out again.

"Like that?" he asked as he obeyed my command, knowing that was _exactly_ what I wanted.

"Yes, exactly like that," came a rough, breathless voice from my throat that I hardly recognized as my own.

He reached a hand around me as he continued to obey my request and slipped it between my legs, moving it back and forth along my sex, causing a string of expletives to stream from my mouth with the overwhelming combination of sensations. He continued until he put me over and followed immediately behind.

"What have you done to me?" Edward asked with his face in my hair when he lie hunched over me while we caught our breath, his arms once again wrapped tightly around my waist.

I bit my lip and looked over my shoulder, at him. Instantly I feared I'd done something wrong. I tensed up worrying how I'd failed to satisfy him.

"You're going to be the death of me," he said, turning me around, causing him to leave me. I whined in protest of the loss of connection, but he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. "But what a way to go," he murmured flashing a very satisfied grin causing my worry to melt away.

I sighed in contentment as he closed the distance, kissing me in earnest, making me seriously wonder if I'd somehow managed to find my own personal heaven.

XXXXX

We did end up spending most of the night in bed. We would lie together and talk, as we lightly touched and stroked each other's naked bodies until one of us couldn't take it any longer and we succumbed to our desires. They weren't like out on the balcony when we had tried denying ourselves and in turn making us almost crazed in our want, instead they were slow, unrushed and tender and charged with emotion; they were the embodiment of what was inferred with the term "making love".

It felt like there was this unspoken understanding between the two of us that we didn't want to fall asleep, trying to get as much time together as possible, neither willing to give up any of it if we could help it, forgetting everything else in the world but each other.

We succeeded in fighting our fatigue for many hours lying with each other—sometimes in comfortable silence, saying nothing, sometimes sharing things about ourselves we hadn't told the other yet and sometimes connecting once more. But eventually, despite our efforts, sometime around sunrise, we lost the battle to sleep, tangled up tightly together as if we were refusing to let go of the other until we were forced to.

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**AN: Thank you MC for betaing.**

**Feedback is highly valued. Click [Review] and let me know what you think.**

**I have a Song Rec for this chapter that I thought was fitting (don't forget to remove the spaces in the link below):**

"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

youtu. be / GemKqzILV4w


	15. Chapter 15 Nothing Good About Goodbye

**THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you who have reviewed! I know I don't always reply, I have no excuse other than lack of time, and I figure you'd rather me spend any spare snippets of time that I have on getting the next chapter written, right? Right. So, my wonderful reviewers; lots of love goes out to you. Keep it up, I love reading your thoughts more than I can express!**

**Thanks always to MC for your thoughts, suggestions and comma policing! ;)**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. This all human version, however, is mine.**

**Okay everyone, the chapter title says it all folks, its goodbye time. :( I know! I know! But it has to happen, it just has to. Don't hate me. **

**Let the sadness begin…**

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**Chapter 15: Nothing Good about Goodbye**

_He was gone. _

_I woke up and he was gone._

_He hasn't come back._

_My mind reeled dizzily._

_I've tried to call him, but he doesn't pick up the phone, it just keeps ringing and ringing, so I can't even leave him a message. He hasn't returned a single call._

_He's just…Gone._

_Like a phantom—like I had feared. He was gone and it was like he'd never been here at all. The only tangible thing I had to prove that he was real was his t-shirt I wore that still held his scent and the exorbitant hotel room I was still in. But nothing else remained to prove he'd ever even been here, that he'd ever existed._

_I sat at the edge of the bed and began to cry, holding my aching chest that blazed from my freshly broken heart._

_No. Shattered; it wasn't just broken, it was shattered. _

_And he was gone._

_Gone._

_Just… gone._

_I cried hard with painful, broken sobs. Like my life was broken. Because it was. He was gone and I was broken._

_I jumped when my cell phone rang out with my newest__ favorite__ song. __His song._

_My heart picked up and fluttered as fast as a hummingbird's wings, racing with overwhelming hopeful anticipation, chasing away the pain and tears. I reached out and snatched the phone up from the bed to see if it was Edward calling me; if he was finally calling me to tell me he wasn't really gone. That I was wrong, he wasn't really gone forever. _

_My insecurities flourished. I needed to re-connect with him; to know he had not really left me. But just as I pulled the phone toward me and looked down to see the display, the phone slipped out of my hands and fell to the floor, breaking apart. _

_The song cut off._

_NO! No, no no! _

_My trembling fingers fumbled with the pieces of my phone, as I picked them up and tried desperately to put them back together. How could he call me if my phone was in pieces? How could I call him back?_

_I tried and tried, but it was all in vain. I couldn't put it back together. _

_Who was I kidding? It wasn't him calling me. He wasn't coming back and now my phone was just like me; broken beyond repair._

_Fresh tears were now flowing in a torrent, down my face._

_I'd lost him. It was over. I'd never see him again. I just knew it. I could feel it. Could feel the void that his presence had filled; I was empty._

_I lifted my feet onto the bed, pulling my legs to my chest and began rocking back and forth. The action should have been soothing, but I only felt more manic._

_I knew that I didn't deserve to keep him, but it didn't soften the edges of the knife that seared through me and twisted, making the hole jagged and marred. The pain was frighteningly intense and I struggled to breathe._

"_Bella?" Edward's sweet buttery voice called from the next room._

_I froze and choked on the tears of relief and joy that rushed through me, chasing away the tears of despair that had just consumed me. He wasn't gone! He was here!_

_I tried to leap up and run to him, but I found I couldn't move. I was rooted in place. Somehow, I couldn't leave the bed._

"_Edward!" I tried calling out to him, but I couldn't pull sound from my throat._

_I tried again._

"_Edward!" Nothing._

_My broken phone, still lying in pieces, started to play his song again._

_I looked at it quizzically through my panic, momentarily distracted. I reached down and picked up the piece with the keypad and display. The display was black, showing no sign of life, but the sound kept radiating from it._

_In vain, I tried to answer the eidolon call. The phone continued to sound out the song, but there seem to be no call attached to it._

_I threw the piece of phone down on the comforter and looked back at the bedroom door, willing Edward to walk through it._

"_Bella, love?" Edward called._

_He was so close to me I could feel him. I could feel his presence, but I couldn't see him. I couldn't touch him. I needed both._

_I tried again to go to him like every cell in my body ached for, but I still couldn't move any part of my body from the bed._

"_I'm in here!" I tried to yell, but my voice still wouldn't work. I remained mute. "Don't leave me! Please don't leave, Edward. I'm right here!" I screamed in my head, trying to get my voice to work, but it wouldn't obey my will._

_It was tears of frustration that now raced hotly down my cheeks._

_I could hear him. He was right there on the other side of the wall, but he might as well be a world apart because he didn't know I was here, wanting desperately to call out to him, trying hopelessly to go to him. Something had me fixed to this bed._

_And he didn't know it. How _could_ he know?_

_He didn't know that I was here, wanting desperately to call out to him; he didn't know I wanted more than anything to be with him. So he would leave, thinking I wasn't here, maybe thinking I didn't care. Or maybe he thought that I'd left him. _

_My chest radiated with this aching knowledge; I was going to lose him. He was going to leave and be lost to me forever, because he didn't know._

"_No! Edward! Don't leave! I'm here! Don't leave me!" I tried desperately to shout, the sound of my words in my head shook with their desperation, but my effort still made no sound._

"_Bella?" he called once more._

"_Stay with me," I begged in reply, but only silence crossed my lips. _

_Panic invaded my veins, taking ownership. I was out of time._

_Then I heard the door close._

_Silence._

_He was gone. Forever this time. Gone._

_I broke down with painful ripping sobs that scraped fiercely at the already mangled hole in my chest._

"Bella, love?" Edward called gently, holding me to his chest, stroking my hair. He lightly shook my shoulder. "Bella, wake up, it's just a dream," he pleaded, sounding a bit panicked.

I woke with a start, gasping shakily for air, feeling like I couldn't breathe. My chest ached and was heavy and constricted. It was _so _real!

"Bella?" Edward asked tentatively, brushing away very real tears that were still streaming down my face.

I grabbed his hand that was caressing my cheek. I held it there, pressing my face firmly against it to convince myself that the hand I felt there was real, Edward was real and he was there with me. He wasn't gone. Everything was okay.

"Edward?" I rasped, my voice thick with tears I'd shed from my dream. I felt a small relief settle over me, finding my voice worked.

"Are you really awake this time?" he asked gently, stroking the side of my face with his thumb, wiping away the tears that still came.

I nodded, still trying to calm my breathing as he brushed aside a stray lock of hair and tucked it behind my ear. My bottom lip trembled and threatened that I would break apart any second. The emotions from my dream were still flowing heavily through my veins.

"Your phone has been ringing," he said. "I tried to wake you. You seemed to be having a bad dream."

"A bad dream?" I breathed trying to process the words. No, that was my _worst_ nightmare. It made any bad dream I'd had before seem like skipping through daisies. This had rocked me to my core.

I wrapped a desperate arm around Edward's torso and pressed my face more firmly against his bare chest. Edward welcomed me there by tightening his arms reassuringly around me.

He hadn't left me. He was still there. For now he was here with me.

A moment passed in silence as he held me and caressed me soothingly, while I clutched him to chase away the devastating feelings that lingered from the horrible dream that still felt so real.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward murmured brushing his lips to my hair.

I meant to nod a yes, but my head disobeyed my command and shook no instead.

"What is it, love? Is it the dream?"

Was it the dream? It was in a way. But really it was my very real feelings and fears that had fed the dream.

I drew in a rickety breath and opened my eyes. I pulled my head from his chest to look up at his face finding his shocking green eyes filled with care and concern for me. I looked into them for the courage to speak, but found they were somehow why the words got stuck in my throat.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he implored me grazing his fingers lazily along my face. "Please tell me, love."

I dropped my eyes away from his.

No. I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't face the chance that his response was what I'd feared, so I was going to miss the chance altogether.

But was that really the better option?

A flash of very real pain lashed at me with the memory of my dream; it definitely was _not _the better option. Was that what my dream was telling me?

"Bella," he pleaded, tipping my chin up to get me to look at him.

I got lost in his beautiful green eyes as they bored into mine. I could feel them trying to read, in my eyes, what it was I wouldn't say. I took a breath filled with the sweet fragrance of honey and sunshine—a fragrance I wanted to bottle up and keep with me always because it was all Edward. The scent settled my nerves and found myself confessing the question I had feared and ran from since the moment I had met him. Confessing it because I realized in that moment that there was one thing I was more afraid of than his potential answer; if I were to have lost him because I'd never asked it.

"After I go home today, am I ever going to see you again?" I whispered in a shaky, unsteady voice and then swallowed hard realizing the words were now out there. I couldn't take them back.

I closed my eyes to him, waiting for the answer I'd been avoiding all this time, preparing myself for the blow that would change me forever.

My chest burned with the mixture of fear and anticipation, drowning out any feeling of hope I might have had. Fresh tears threatened to break through the wall I struggled to keep up that held them at bay. My heart beat out a painful and disjointed rhythm.

I knew if he ended things here that it would end me. I could feel that truth resounding through my entire being with absolute certainty. I had gotten that invested without realizing it. I knew, without a doubt, that he would take a part of me with him if he walked away from me—I would never be whole again.

His silence hung in the air like heavy, black storm clouds—dark and ominous. It was like a blow to the chest. His lack of immediate answer felt pregnant with rejection and dismissal. My lungs felt constricted and I struggled to breathe.

I was wrong. This was not the better option. Not if he didn't want me. I couldn't do this. I needed to get out of here.

My chest squeezed tighter, and as a result, twisted my stomach into a tight, nervous, nauseating knot.

I had lied, trying to convince myself, during the last several days that I could ask the question and deal with potentially parting from Edward forever when the time came—that by then I'd be strong enough somehow. I realized now that I was wrong. I just couldn't do it at all. And I was wrong again; with thinking that not knowing would be worse. Waiting for his answer, I realized that his turning me away would be worse than never knowing. But it was too late, the words were already out and he was silent, trying to figure out how to let me down gently. He didn't realize that no matter how softly he thought he turned me away, it would ruin me.

I tried to pull away from him. He didn't need to see this. I needed to run somewhere, anywhere that I could lock myself away from him until I could pull myself together enough to leave with some dignity. But Edward held me where I was, securing a front seat to my upheaval.

"Bella, don't turn away from me. I can't—just don't. Hear me out, okay?" he pleaded to get me to stop fighting him; trying to flee. He took a deep breath. "It would be best for you if you didn't see me again," Edward said softly.

I choked back a sob, fighting it from escaping and clutched my chest, holding myself from falling to pieces as he held me next to him in the bed. I tried to pull in air, but it was like my body had forgotten how, my body went through the action, but no air was drawn in. I felt my world tipping on its side. Warping. Turning. Sliding. I could feel myself flirting with the blackness that was trying to pull me under. The room began to tilt sideways and spun dizzily. _No!_

"But the very thought of never seeing you again kills me. So even though I know I shouldn't ask this, and you really shouldn't let me, I really hope I can see you again," he murmured timidly.

Wait. What?

"What?" I croaked taking heavy breaths now that my body recalled how to do so.

I tried to beat away the threat of hope that ghosted along the edges, trying to break through.

"I hate myself for not being strong enough for you. I tried," he said as if desperate for me to understand, as if asking for forgiveness for something he thought he failed me in. "You have to know I really tried, but I just _couldn't_ stay away from you. It's almost as if there is some invisible force that holds me to you. I want more than anything to see you again and because of that I hope you'll let me, but for your sake, I hope you don't. So, before you say anything, you need to know something first."

I could feel my entire being cling to the sound of Edward's voice telling me he wanted to see me again. I clung to it like a lifeline.

"Bella," he pulled his fingers through his hair and then grabbed a fistful of it, "because of what I am, you're not going to get a happily ever after with me. It's not fair to you to mislead you into believing you could. Before you tell me if you'll let me see you again or not, you need to know that."

My lifeline slipped through my fingers and I couldn't breathe again. I began to flounder and sink. What was he saying? I didn't understand.

"Look, I know that sooner or later something will be too much," he said sounding tortured. "It will be my crazy and demanding schedule that makes it impossible to get a hold of me and drains me so hard I don't have enough energy to even make a simple phone call. Or it will be loneliness from all the time apart because I'll be away more than I am not. Maybe it will be jealousy or something you don't like that I have to do for a job. Or maybe it will be misunderstandings, or filling my open time between jobs at the studio working on music, or the media," he laughed without humor.

"God, the media," he pulled a hand through his hair again. "They'll twist, misconstrue and fabricate anything and everything to make a good story. Eventually there will be something they'll find or make-up that will play on some insecurity. Whatever it is will plant a small seed of doubt in you that will grow and fester until you believe it's true. The possibilities of _how_ it will happen are endless, but the result is almost as certain as the sun rising and setting; _somehow_ I'll hurt you. Sooner or later I will, because of what I do or who I am. You have to know that. I have to warn you that with me, eventually, it will all blow up, it's inevitable. But I'm selfish enough to ask you to let me see you again anyway."

My head was spinning again with mercurial changes, in extreme emotions, from despair to overwhelming hope that I failed miserably to block out.

He wanted me? Edward wanted _me_; plain, simple, ordinary Bella? Maybe I was still dreaming. I nearly asked him to pinch me to be sure, but I figured that might tip him off to my questionable sanity and he'd run.

My sanity aside; it didn't make sense and I tried unsuccessfully to fully grasp what he'd said.

"Bella, could you tell me what you're thinking before I go insane?" Edward pleaded breaking the long silence while I tried unsuccessfully to digest what he'd said and what it had meant. The humor of what he'd said was not lost on me, but I couldn't laugh. Not now. Not when my head was too busy trying to take an impossibility and accept it as a reality.

"I don't understand," I managed to say. That was true enough. I didn't understand. It didn't make sense.

"I know it's a lot to accept," he said in a defeated voice.

I shook my head. He was missing the point.

"You want to see me again?" I asked trying it out on my tongue.

"More than anything," he breathed. "But if you—" he paused and a pained look passed across his face. "If you need time to think about it—"

"There's nothing to think about," I breathed. I'd pay any price; take any risk and any condition to keep him in my life. "Not for me. But I don't understand why you—" I cut the thought short. "Never mind."

"What, Bella?" Edward asked, his eyes imploring.

"I just thought that for you this was just—" the words kept getting stuck in my throat.

"Bella, tell me, just what?" he said in a soft demand.

"I thought maybe I was just a distraction to pass the time," I mumbled my fear—well, one of them—out loud.

Edward's mouth dropped open in angered disbelief and his green eyes went from soft to hard in a flash.

My stomach knotted wishing I had stood my ground and refused to tell him.

"God Bella! How the hell could you ever think that?" he snapped. Definitely angry.

I shrugged. "I don't know. People disassociate emotions and sex all the time," I explained.

"Do you really feel that any moment I spent with you these last few days was devoid of emotion?" he spat.

I bit my lip in remorse of voicing my fear to him.

Crap! How do I always do this? I was leaving, Edward had told me that he wanted to see me again and somehow I'd ruined everything like I always did. I always ruin everything.

"No." It was true what he said, there wasn't one touch that felt like it wasn't riddled with emotion. I knew what emotionless sex felt like. Sex with Edward felt nothing the same. But… "But you're an actor, I'm sure you could pretend convincingly."

"You're grossly overestimating my acting skills," Edward said, exasperated.

"Besides, I'm just me. What do I have to hold you?" I just couldn't shut up, could I? I stubbornly pressed on even when I knew I should shut my mouth and let it go.

"God Bella, don't you get it already? You're—" he paused as if he was going to say one thing and decided to say another. "You hold more than you realize. Never doubt the hold you have over me, or we'll never get through this." His eyes burned hotly into mine.

I nodded. Not agreeing that I understood or necessarily believed it, but that I would try to. I wanted to.

"So, when?" I asked still trying to swallow the idea that Edward somehow wanted me.

"When what?" he asked still sounding angry, but now also about as confused as I felt.

"When do I get to see you again?" I asked in a small voice. "How will this work? I have a job and family; I can't just up and leave whenever I want."

"So you believe me?" Edward asked hesitantly.

"I'm working on it."

Edward's lips made a hard line. "What about everything I warned you about?"

"It would take a lot more than forecasts of doom to scare me away," I looked up at him with small hopeful smile.

Edward breathed a small laugh, whether it was because of what I'd said or my expression I wasn't sure, but I saw the anger draining from him as he did.

"I guess I wasn't scary enough because it's a lot to accept," he said with a sad smile, pulling his hand through his tussled bronze-brown hair again.

"Answer me Edward. When? Where? How?" I pressed stubbornly. I needed to know.

"Well," he sighed. "I have a press junket and another talk show interview while I'm here. And probably a lot more things booked that I'm refusing to acknowledge because it's going to be torture wishing I was with you instead."

I bit my lip. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Why is that so hard for you to believe?" he asked with baffled frustration.

I diverted my eyes and re-directed the topic back to when I could see Edward again. I needed to know how long I had to endure until I had my next hit of him.

"How long then?" I asked.

Edward narrowed his eyes at my avoidance, but didn't press it. "I don't know. I have to confirm what my schedule looks like," Edward admitted.

I could feel the realization that even though Edward said he wanted to see me again, that it might be a very long time before I actually had the opportunity.

Or maybe he was just avoiding committing to an actual date because he was just avoiding having to tell me to my face he didn't want to see me anymore. The thought felt heavy and lay on my chest, making breathing difficult again.

No. I refused to let myself believe that. I had to believe what Edward told me. I had to trust him.

Edward's eyes softened as they took in my expression, easily reading my emotions.

"This is what I mean, Bella," he said pulling his fingers through my hair. "It's not going to be easy. I'm not going to be able to be a proper boyfriend to you. I'll be gone a_ lot_. I don't think you realize exactly how much we'll be apart. It's okay if you change your mind."

His face looked passive, but his eyes flickered with what almost appeared to be fear and pain.

"No, I'm not changing my mind," I said firmly. "It's just," I took a breath almost backing out of what I was about to say, but the emotion I couldn't quite get a handle on that danced in his eyes, betraying his impassive expression, told me I needed to say it, "I haven't even left and I already miss you." I confessed quietly.

Edward gave me a small smile that looked more sad than happy, and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean," Edward said running the back of his fingers along my cheek and then paused while he thought for a moment. His eyes turned troubled like restless green seas. "Bella? Not that I want to press my luck, but why are you willing to agree to see me again after I told you how difficult this is going to be?"

"Because…" I trailed off not sure what to tell him. I had probably well over a thousand different reasons rolling through my head: because I need to be with you; because it hurts to even think of the possibility of never seeing you again; because I need your touch as desperately as I need air; because it's too late to try to scare me off with tales of inevitable relationship failures; because I've fallen in love with you. It was all true, but I didn't want to scare him off with being too honest, so I filtered, staying truthful, but not overly so. "I just…can't imagine never seeing you again."

"So it's not because of who I am?" Edward asked in a tentatively soft voice.

"It has everything to do with who you are, Edward."

"So it is because of my name?" he asked nodding solemnly, his eyes filled with pain, looking like I'd just told him the person he loved most in the world was dead.

"What? No!" I practically yelled understanding now what he'd meant. "Edward, it has nothing to do with you being _Anthony_ Cullen.

"Sure, I'd be lying if I said I haven't had kind of had a thing for you since I saw you in _Undone_," my eyes went wide as I blushed with the unexpected confession that I'd just made. Shit! I hadn't meant to say that. I quickly kept talking hoping it would be forgotten before it could resonate. "I can't deny that it might have played a part in the very beginning. But that's only because that was _all I knew at the time_. And really, even that first day I saw you at the talk show, it was more about the _real _you and the intense draw I felt to you more than anything else.

"Edward, I don't care about your _name_. I don't care about your fame and fortune; that stuff honestly means nothing to me. I like _you_. A lot. It's my desire to want to know more about _you, _to want to get closer to _you_ that I'm here, hoping I can still see you after today, not because you're 'Anthony Cullen'. I realize that it's probably hard to know if someone is sincere when telling you something like that, but honestly it's only _you_. I could do without all the attention that follows you around because I like it best when it's just you and me alone."

"I knew it was about the sex. You are completely insatiable," he smirked teasing.

I rolled my eyes if he even knew what my sex life entailed before him.

"No, not just the sex," I said sourly because he was making jokes, he wasn't_ listening_ to what I was trying to say.

Maybe he needed to know that my sleeping with him was not something I took lightly and feeling this way about the entire endeavour was a new thing to me. I decided I needed him to know it, so I explained.

"Edward, there's something you need to know—to understand about me. I… I have a _very short _sexual past. Sex is not something I have ever taken lightly or previously engaged in with much finesse; so, no. Believe me, it's not just sex to me.

"It's you," I continued, seeing he was regarding me seriously now, the words began to flow from me, honest and without reservation, not letting myself think about what I was saying or if I was saying too much, just telling him the truth. I knew I was beginning to babble, but it felt like it was all bubbling to the top. I started my confession with being honest with him and how I felt and it wasn't going to stop flooding out until it was all out there. "Wanting to see you again has _nothing_ to do with who you are to the outside world, Edward. If you were a complete ass it wouldn't have mattered how hot you looked or who you were. It has _everything_ to do with what the outside world _doesn't_ know. The more and more you've let me see of who you really are is what has pulled me in and held me. And now I've reached the point that I can't turn back. Who you are to the rest of the world is great and all, but I gotten to see that that's not who you really are. And it's the real you that owns me."

Edward kissed me soundly, preventing chagrin from creeping in for confessing the fact that he owned me realizing I'd let myself go unfiltered for a bit too long. True or not, it was almost as bad as if I would have confessed that I'd fallen in love with him.

"So you've had a thing for me, huh?" he said, while unsuccessfully holding back a smile.

"Shut up," I said blushing deep red and playfully shoved his shoulder.

He grinned wickedly and laughed. Then his face drew serious and he pulled me in to him, "You know, I like it when you're not wearing make-up like now. You should do it more often, I can see your blushes that much easier. Besides you don't need to hide behind make-up, you don't need it," he murmured.

I snorted.

I felt Edward shake his head in mute disagreement of my reaction.

"I don't want to go home," I sighed breaking the silence with my truthful confession.

"Then don't. Stay here with me," Edward whispered wistfully.

Part of me melted at his offer and I wanted to more than anything, but I couldn't live in my fantasy dreamland forever as much as I wished I could.

"I wish I could," more than he'd ever know, "but I have to go," I said feeling like my reasons I knew I needed to go back home just didn't seem very important any longer.

"You don't _have_ to," he said with a smile in his voice.

"I do, as much as I wish I could, I can't shirk my responsibilities," I insisted but began to feel that for the first time in my life, I was willing to do just that.

Silence surrounded us as we both absorbed the fact that I was really going home today.

"My family has seen the pictures of us," I sighed thinking out loud because I ran out of ideas of how to broach the subject with them, "I have no idea how I'm going to convince them it wasn't me and that I hadn't even met you."

"Why would you deny it?" he questioned with a funny edge to his voice.

"I thought you didn't want anyone to know."

"What would make you think that?"

"Your text."

Edward was silent like he didn't know what I was referring to.

"You said you were glad that no one knew who I was," I offered, reminding him of what he'd said.

"No Bella, I'm glad the _media_ doesn't know who you are," Edward said. "Once they find out who you are, they won't leave you alone. Your life will never be the same. I just dread that for you. You want to keep them in the dark as long as you can. But you don't have to lie to your family. Maybe leave out the details like my song writing of course, but you can tell them that we're together."

"We're together?" my heart ratcheted up a few notches.

"What else would you call it?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "You just met me, I didn't know if wanting to see me again meant you wanted to see only me."

"Bella, I don't understand how you don't get it yet. I couldn't see anyone other than just you if I wanted to, and I definitely don't want to."

"Really?" I said looking up at him through my lashes.

"Yes, really," he laughed. Then a flash of some emotion passed through his eyes. "Why? Were you planning to see other people when you went home?"

I laughed loudly. "Well, I probably will have to block off a couple of days when I get back to let them all know. It's going to take a while," I joked, unsuccessfully trying to sound and look serious.

Edward smiled back at me in amusement seeing straight through my ruse.

"How do _you _not get it yet? No. Definitely not." The idea of me dating at all, much less more than one guy at one time was laughable on its own; the idea that I'd ever see anyone else after Edward was absolutely preposterous.

Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead, holding his lips there for a while before he spoke again.

"So tell your family about us if you want to," he said finally. "You're a terrible liar anyhow, they won't believe you if you tried to deny it." He smiled full of humor. "Besides, my family already knows about you."

"Well, yeah, obviously Emmett knows about me," I scoffed.

"Not just Emmett; my sister and brother-in-law, as well as my parents know that I have been seeing you and him Rosalie. My parents have always encouraged open communication, so there isn't much we don't tell one another. Besides, it would be kind of hard to keep secrets from them with how Em's and my lives are now."

My body tensed up with nerves.

"What's the matter, love?" Edward asked.

"Nothing."

"Did you not catch the part where I know how terrible of a liar you are? It's not 'nothing', Bella."

"It's just—" I began, but my phone sang out interrupting me, making me jump.

"Saved by a phone call," Edward laughed. "I like your ringtone, by the way," Edward smirked—confirming my suspicion that he had written it—as he released me from his hold.

I blushed as I turned to grab the phone from the nightstand.

"Hi Rose."

"I just wanted to make sure you were up," Rosalie said. "I'll be leaving here shortly."

"What time is it?" I asked.

I heard Rosalie answer me, but I didn't catch what she'd said. I actually had forgotten the question, as I was distracted by the very naked Edward who had gotten out of the bed and was making his way to the bathroom, affording me of the nicest view of his very perfect ass.

My God it was _so_ much better than the wax figure. I knew now that whoever had constructed it had not been able to do it justice.

"Bell?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Pull yourself away from the boy, Bell," she laughed, "I know this feeling is new to you, but we have to leave for the airport."

"Yeah, um, okay," I said watching Edward walk back to bed, the frontal view being even more wit scrambling.

I licked my lips.

"I'll see you at the check-in counter shortly," she promised, making it sound more like a subtle threat, and hung up.

I looked at the clock on my phone, my lungs constricted like I'd just taken a blow to the chest when I saw the time and realized Rose was right. I had to get ready to go.

I was just about to sit up and get out of the bed when Edward, who'd crawled back into bed behind me, pulled his arm around my waist making a snare and pulled me against him.

"Everything alright?" Edward said as he pulled me in tighter to him and then hummed. "Mmmm, much better."

"Edward," I spoke trying to remain unaffected by the fact we were both stark naked and something mighty impressive was pressing against my back. Not to mention the way his breath hit my neck and the mindless designs he had begun drawing on my side and hip.

I tried desperately to ignore the effect he had on me. I had to focus. He was making it very difficult.

"Mmm-hmm?" his voice was thick and heady adding to his arsenal, weakening my resolve.

"Edward, I have to go. I need to head to the airport," my voice cracked at the end of the statement. The words I'd said aloud hit me like a wrecking ball and I fought the lump that sat in my throat.

Edward's fingers froze in place, halting the mindless designs he was drawing.

He held very still, even his breathing was shallow reminding me of an animal sensing danger. A minute passed before he finally spoke and all he uttered was my name in a strained voice that made me turn to look at him.

When my eyes met his, I found that they looked just as tortured as his voice had sounded and exactly the way I felt; wild and panicked. His face said it all; we were out of time and he wasn't ready to part as much as I wasn't.

But it didn't matter if we were ready or not, time was running against us.

I could feel myself losing my composure. The feelings that coursed through me with not wanting to leave his side was bad enough, but seeing the emotions I was feeling reflected in Edward's eyes, doubled mine.

I was going to lose it. My whole body tensed and began to ache. But I didn't want to lose it in front of Edward, so I took every ounce of willpower I had and pulled myself from the security of his arms. Edward's arm fell lifelessly to the bed as I pulled away. He lay frozen in place, as I went over to my suitcase, grabbed my toothbrush and some clothes, and then headed to the bathroom.

I knew I felt just as wild as Edward's eyes looked, but it still shocked me when I had entered the bathroom and caught a glimpse of my reflection. My self-control faltered.

I closed my eyes trying to grasp at some semblance of composure. Instead an overpowering sob tugged sharply at my chest, taking me off guard just as I felt I'd started to calm myself.

I leaned against the wall for support, as I desperately grappled with these strong emotions, threatening to literally knock me off my feet.

_I would see him again. I would see him again. This wasn't forever. _I chanted to myself against the choking sobs that kept relentlessly hitting me over and over again.

I could deal with this when I got home. I couldn't lose it. Not here, not now. If Edward saw how hard this was for me he would try to tell me that this was exactly why I shouldn't see him again, he would try to tell me that it would only get worse over time. He didn't need to know how hard this was for me. I had to be stronger than this. How much leaving Edward tore me up would have to be something I endured in silence until I was alone where no one could bear witness to it.

I told myself that I could do this. I could hold myself together for a few hours until I was alone at my apartment and could break down without witnesses. Then I stood up, but kept my eyes down, away from my reflection as I threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, washed my face and brushed my hair and teeth.

When I opened the bathroom door, I stopped short hearing the beautiful sound of Edward playing the guitar. I listened for a moment. Then I put my things away and stood in the bedroom doorway watching and listening to him as he sat on the piano bench and played. Occasionally he would stop, tinker with the sound of a chord or two and then play again.

It was another new one—at least not one I'd heard before. The tone of the notes coming from the guitar was so forlorn it drew out a few tears I'd been holding back, falling quickly from my eyes. I hastily wiped them away only to find my eyes replaced them with new ones.

_Keep yourself together, Bella_. I chastised myself. Then I took a deep breath in attempt to tune out the beautiful, moving music that fell upon my ears so I could do just that. I turned back to the bedroom, gathered the rest of my things and brought them to the door.

Edward's notes stopped short when he saw me standing in the entryway with my purse in hand, next to my suitcase and carry-on.

"You're leaving right now?" he asked surprised, his voice sounding almost panicked as he set down his guitar and walked over to me quickly.

I bit my lip and nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Did you want something to eat before you go? I could make you something quick," he offered taking a step toward the kitchen, but didn't leave my side. I should have been hungry, but the thought of eating turned my stomach.

"Thanks but I'm not hungry," I rasped. My lower lip started to quiver so I pulled it back into my mouth and bit down on it a little too hard to get it to stop, tasting blood.

Jesus. I needed to get out of there; I was barely keeping myself together.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked dipping his head to meet my eyes.

I nodded. My stomach twisted as a warmth of unease and sadness swelled in my chest, growing thicker with each intake of breath. It made pulling in air difficult and I struggled to swallow back a lump in my throat.

Edward eyed me for a moment, then straightened and nodded raking a hand through his hair and then shoving them both into his front pockets.

"I'll, um," he cleared his throat, "I'll call someone to get your bag and give you a ride."

He left the room so fast I couldn't even protest and tell him I was more than capable of grabbing a taxi.

When he returned, his face almost looked broken somehow and his eyes raged with conflict, making me wonder if it was an old battle or a new one that tormented him now. I wished I knew what it was that ate at him because I wanted to fix it.

"Someone will be up in a few minutes," he said in a hoarse voice.

I only nodded at the floor, using all my energy to not break down in front of him. I wouldn't do that, I couldn't do that.

Edward closed the distance between us and pulled me into his embrace, holding me tight against his chest.

A tear broke through and streamed hotly down my cheek.

Edward rested his cheek to the top of my head.

Another tear fell.

He squeezed me tighter and kissed my head, his stubble catching in my hair as he did.

I fought back a sob as another tear escaped.

A knock on the door saved me, allowing me the reprieve to regain control. I took a deep breath as Edward went to the door and I hurriedly wiped away my tears. I looked to the door and saw Charlie with his now familiar crinkly grin. He gathered my luggage and Edward informed him I would be down to the car shortly and needed a ride to the airport.

I gave a small, teary smile to Charlie. He flashed me a comforting, crinkly one in return and departed with my luggage.

Edward closed the door and turned to me, closing the distance with a couple long, determined strides. I noticed the spots of wetness on his chest from my tears and went to brush at them, but Edward tipped my chin up with his hand, distracting me.

In the next second, his lips were on mine; hungry and desperate, yet somehow unsure and seeking affirmation.

I kissed him back as he pinned me to the wall.

I couldn't fight him. It wasn't because he was so much stronger than me, pinning me to the wall. It was because I had no willpower against him, I needed him one last time like I needed air to breathe. I needed to connect with him one more time before I woke up from this dream. Because that was what I'd feared; the moment I walked out the door, Edward would disappear. That he would just be a dream, a phantom I couldn't hold onto. That he would slip through my fingers the moment I looked away.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and clutched him closer as he trailed kisses down my neck. Then he carried me back to the bedroom.

"We'll be quick," I breathed.

"Mmm-hmm, really quick," Edward agreed against my skin between kisses. Then he threw us onto the bed Edward-side-up.

We weren't quick.

We delayed it, trying to cheat time; trying to delay the inevitable.

It was amazing. It was raw and gentle; desperate and passionate. It was sensual and wrought with intense emotion. It was everything.

I tried to commit every last nuance of him to memory. What he smelled like. How he tasted even better than he smelled. I took in the way his hair looked with the sun from the window shining on it, the way every single strand seemed to want to insist on pointing in its own direction. I noted a scar on his face that had somehow escaped my notice until then and how unlike how scars usually diminished beauty, his only made him look sexier; more real. I studied the exact color of his eyes when they intently watched me right before I came undone, or how they seemed darker and wilder in a way that made my stomach tighten deep inside afterwards when I opened my eyes to him again. I tried to figure out exactly how long his impossibly long, dark lashes were so I could picture them perfectly in my mind. I ran my fingers over and over his short, bronze stubble covering his face that was somehow soft and rough at the same time to make sure I wouldn't forget how it felt. I watched and ran my hands over every last muscle as it bunched and elongated with his movements, I revelled in the hardness and strength. I took in the way his long, calloused fingers could be so soft and electric as they grazed my body, held me and moved me. I attempted to remember exactly how my body could feel his nearness, how it woke up and sang for him, how I felt in his arms. How every grasp of my hips or palm dragged down my back left tingling warmth of want blossoming in their wake and how every graze of his full lips felt against my skin.

I wanted to remember it all and I did my best to do just that. But finally we both had to acknowledge that as much as we both wished I didn't have to leave, the fact remained that I did.

Edward kissed me tenderly one last time before he pulled himself out of me. There was a whole new heaviness in the air that appeared the moment we broke our connection. I could feel it as I moved and it thickened with every piece of clothing I put on.

He followed me to the door, holding my hand, stopping me there for another desperate kiss as I whimpered softly that I was going to miss my flight, telling myself as much as I was telling him.

"I can't do this. Not yet. Can I ride with you?" he pleaded.

I nodded, grateful that I could steal a small amount of time. I would take anything I could get.

The decent in the elevator and the ride to the airport was spent in heavy silence.

I sat there in the car soaking up the feeling of Edward's arms wrapped securely around me, trying to commit the feeling to memory like all the rest of them so I could relive it in my head too. Every so often, his hold would tighten and he'd place a lingering kiss on the crown of my head. I would hold his arms tightly with mine in return and take a deep breath to savor my last hits of honey and sunshine, trying to etch that into my memory as well.

The car arrived at the airport far too quickly. It felt like we'd only just left the hotel when Charlie announced our arrival.

"I have to go. Rose will kill me if we miss the flight," I said knowing she was probably anxious to see Henry.

Edward nodded; his eyes glinted with unshed tears making my breathing hitch. "Let me know when you land, okay?" he whispered softly.

I nodded.

"I should know by then what my schedule is like and when I will be able see you," he promised.

I tried to smile and nodded again. Then I took his beautiful face between my hands and kissed him softly, revelling in the feel of his soft lips on mine one last time. Then I quickly exited the car knowing if I hesitated at all, I wouldn't do it. Edward kept his hand on me, letting it drag down my arm as I exited. When his fingers slipped through mine, I squeezed tightly for a second, almost changing my mind and settling myself back next to Edward where I desperately wanted to be. Instead, I continued to step out of the car and beyond his reach. The loss of his electric touch alone felt devastating.

I shut the door between us to prevent me from diving back in, to bolster my resolve. Instead when the car door latched, I felt was an intense pain shoot through my chest that nearly caused me to double over, feeling the finality of the separation it made between us. I took a breath trying to calm my shaky hands and forced myself to turn away.

I saw that Charlie already had my luggage out of the trunk and ready to go. He offered to bring them up to the check-in for me. I thanked him, but assured him I could do it myself.

He gave me a small crinkly grin and nodded before departing.

I took another breath as I gathered my things and walked toward the building. My steps faltered; it was literally painful walking away from Edward, even with his promise that we would see one another again. I could tangibly feel myself getting further away from him.

I fought the consuming urge to turn back when I got to the door. Instead, I pressed on. I knew I wouldn't be able to see him through the dark glass of the limo. And looking back would only make it harder.

I had to go. No matter how much I wanted to stay, I knew I had to go.

I felt the surge of pain spike again when I walked into the building, feeling the doors put up another barrier between us. I flinched at the feeling of another layer of separation come between us and felt a couple tears escape, while I struggled to regain control.

Every last cell begged me to turn around and head straight back into Edward's arms. But with every step I took, I gained determination to pull myself together. To do what I had to do instead of what I wanted to do. I had to go home. I had to keep myself in one piece until I could be alone. I had to find it in myself to do so. I had to catch my flight.

That was all I could think about. That was all I would let myself think about. I would fall apart if I thought about anything else, so I shoved it away and locked it up. I would let myself feel how much it hurt later.

I wiped away the tears that still lie on my cheeks and determinedly headed to the check-in desk ignoring the painful aching in my chest.

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**AN:**

**I'd love to know what you thought; send me a review!**

**Oh and I have a song rec for this chapter. Just take out the (dot)s and replace them with periods when you paste it into your browser to listen:**

"**Love Remains the Same" by Gavin Rossdale**

**http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=vkq4uypLTr4**


	16. Chapter 16 EPOV Outtake

**Hey everyone! First, thank you all for reading. And thank you SO MUCH for those who are reviewing! You rock and make me smile, keep it up. XO**

**So this wasn't supposed to be Chapter 16. I hijacked Chapter 16 with an Edward's POV outtake instead of posting the outtake somewhere else since it picks up right where Ch 15 leave off.**

**Thanks MC for putting the bug in my ear that got this outtake started. And for looking this over quick.**

**I hope you like getting a little glimpse into Edward's head. **

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**Chapter 16: -EPOV Outtake-**

**-EPOV-**

Bella kissed me with those full, soft, electric lips one last time. Instantly my body begged me to slide my arm around her hip, pull her tightly against me. I wanted to press her back to the soft, black leather seat, settling myself between her legs. A place where I felt like I belonged—something singular to Bella, no other woman has ever felt close to how things felt with her. It was a struggle to keep myself from turning into a predatory animal and bury myself inside her like I wanted to do every time I was around her. But I managed to.

Most of the time.

Keeping myself in check, I kissed her back not letting my greediness when it came to her take me over as I breathed in the sweet, fragrance that emanated from her skin.

When she pulled her lips away from mine, she slid her gaze immediately to her feet the moment she opened them, not even grant me one last glimpse into her soulful chocolate-brown eyes. I watched a shining tear race down her beautiful pink cheek, as she quickly turned her face away from me. I reached out to her to wipe it away and turn her face to me so I could look into her eyes, but she had slid to the far side of the car in the same moment and my hand landed on her arm instead. I caught the sound of her breathing hitch just before she opened the door and the rush of noise from the busy drop-off area flooded the previously silent car.

She hesitated, but only a moment, not long enough for me to collect my thoughts to figure out how to convince her to stay. My hand dragged down her arm as she pulled away from me to step out of the car. I felt my thoughts race wildly; desperate, angry, desolate and conflicting.

When my hand slid down to hers, she squeezed mine tightly and then quickly let go, taking her electric touch with her. My hand dropped lifelessly to the black leather seat in time with the door closing, cutting off the noise and separating us.

I felt empty and alone in a way I'd never felt before. It wasn't just the deafening silence that was highlighted by the drastic contrast with the cacophony of noise going on outside the car. It was more than that but what exactly I didn't know.

The silence quickly began to eat at me. I'd never been one for silence, never quite feeling comfortable unless there was some sort of noise. Growing up, I never lacked for noise between my hyper, chattery little sister and my boisterously loud big brother. And when I didn't have the commotion of my family or friends, I'd fill the silence with music; either listening to it or playing it. But Bella seemed to make silence comforting, comfortable and simply peaceful. I'd never felt that way with anyone before; to be able to just…be. The silence that had filled the car now was uneasy; the exact opposite of how the silence with Bella, on the way to the airport, had felt. Silence with Bella was comfortable; she'd made something I was very uncomfortable with and made it easy, contenting and even perfect.

Like her.

Albeit I had only known her a few days, but with her I didn't feel like I had to try to impress her. I never felt like she had preconceptions about me that I had to live up to. She seemed to be as uncomfortable with the attention I had a tendency to attract as I was. She was easy to talk to and fun to laugh with. And the more I let her in to who I really was—whether it was on purpose or by accidentally saying too much to her—the more she seemed to like me. She even loved the music I'd written, telling me it was some of her favorite things before knowing I'd had anything to do with their creation.

That was how _everything_ was with her; simple, perfect… right. I'd never before felt anything like how she made me feel.

And I'd just let her walk out of my life.

What the _hell_ did I just do?

I watched as Bella walked out of sight, through the sliding doors with her bags. Then Charlie returned to the car, pulled away from the curb and it dawned on me….

Fuck me. No.

"Stop! Go back! Go back!" I yelled sharply at Charlie, but I was too distraught to find it in me to get too torn up about being rude.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't. I've already pulled into traffic and it's a one-way," he explained as he continued on the road, obviously frazzled. Rightfully so; I'd visited New York on many occasions through the past several years, very often during those trips Charlie was charged with me and I'd never before addressed him in such a way.

"Go back around then," I ordered tersely watching him maneuver the traffic to get us back to the airport's check-in area.

What was I doing? What did I think I was going to do by going back around? I couldn't go after her. I was bound to this car. Besides, even if I was able to go after her, what would I do then? She'd told me that she had to go back home, that she couldn't default on her responsibilities and family so she would still end up leaving anyway. I couldn't hop on the plane with her either. As much as I wished it was that wasn't an option either. I had interviews starting back up tomorrow. I needed to be here in New York, I had responsibilities I couldn't ignore either.

I pounded the back of my head hard against the headrest in frustration.

Maybe I could convince her to stay one more night—just one more night before we had to be responsible. That wasn't asking too much, was it? Not when I compared it to how I'd already royally fucked things up for her, it didn't seem to be. I mean, I already failed miserably with trying to stay away from her. Thinking I could spend time with her but keeping her at arms-length was a disaster because I couldn't seem to do that. And then I royally pissed all over everything by giving in yet again to my all-consuming need for her by asking to see her again after she went home—even with warning her, it wasn't fair of me to even ask. I should never have asked. I should have ended it for her sake. I should have. But I couldn't seem to help it. Staying away from her was like trying to tell gravity to resist its own force; it was impossible.

Compared to all the other ways I'd failed her, asking for tonight was but a grain of sand on a beach. At this point, what was one more night before I gave her up for God knows how long?

That reminded me; I still needed to call Irina to find out just exactly how miserably long it was going to be until I could see Bella again. I knew it was going to be bad. I'd done a bang-up job making sure Irina kept my schedule packed to the hilt. After my relationship with Tanya crumbled—just like every other relationship I'd had, albeit in its own unique way—I finally saw that my success, in being able to do what I loved, had a high price. I realized that this career choice demanded singular attention. When it didn't get it, it got angry and spiteful. It lashed out whenever I came even remotely close to loving something other than it at the same time. It destroyed everything that competed with it until it had me back to itself again. This career did not share. I finally realized then that it was either the career or a woman, they could not coexist. Acting was a career that thought it was a person, and a person that demanded monogamy. Something I was finally willing to give it until Bella walked into my life and I couldn't look away.

I hated myself for putting Bella up against such a cruel, vindictive, vengeful monster—as much as I loved what I did for a living, I knew it was nothing but the truth. She didn't deserve that. But because I was too weak, she'd have to endure that pain and I truly hated myself for it.

Yet there I was heading back to the drop-off area of the airport to see if I could somehow convince her to stay just one more night with me. I was ashamed at myself, but not enough to suck it up and leave without trying to get her to stay. For some reason I didn't fully understand, I needed her more than I'd ever needed anyone in my life. I cared for her so much it frightened me and what did I do? I acted on my selfishness knowing it would ruin the person I cared for.

Maybe it was me who was the monster.

I truly didn't deserve her.

Charlie pulled the car back up to the curb of the drop-off area.

I called Bella's phone, but her voicemail picked up right away. I called it again. Voicemail.

Fuck me.

It was times like this, I wished I still smoked. It had been years and I rarely craved them any longer, but I could _really_ use a light right now; my leg was bouncing like a jackrabbit and my hands ran through my hair grabbing fistfuls of it, threatening to pull it from the roots.

I needed my guitar; that was what I really needed. It was times like this I would grab my guitar like a lifeline and start playing to keep myself together. I needed an outlet. My hands could never stand to be idle, they always needed to be moving, to be doing something; that was why playing and writing music was so perfect for me. Nothing else but playing really worked to calm me, not even smoking really nipped it—except for when I was with Bella. Bella was the exception. She somehow calmed me as well as playing did, in some ways better and above that, she inspired me. In just the short few days I had known her, she'd already inspired several songs. I couldn't keep up with them fast enough.

Another new melody flooded into my head; simple and longing.

I needed her back.

I called her cell phone again. Still there was no answer.

"What did you want me to do, Mr. Cullen?" Charlie asked looking back at me in the rearview mirror.

What did I want him to do?

Nothing. I didn't want Charlie to do anything. I wanted to not be a prisoner to this car and be able to go after Bella like I wanted to.

My cell phone rang. I could feel my heart race faster hoping it was Bella. I looked at the display and silently cursed my brother. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. He'd tell me to quit being a pussy about potentially getting spotted and get my ass out of the car to go after her if that was what I wanted to do.

**Emmett****: Hasn't the spinner left yet? Put her down and call me back. I gotta talk to you bro.**

My head was too distracted and disoriented. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I'd talk with him later.

"Mr. Cullen?" Charlie asked again.

No, Emmett would tell me I needed to grow some balls because it was just a girl. As much as I'd want to argue with him—because Bella wasn't just any girl—his implication would be right, I was being stupid and neurotic and needed to pull myself together. What the hell was wrong with me? Never before in my life had I ever been so hung up over someone. If I didn't get a fucking grip, I'd ruin this before anything else even had a chance to. I didn't need her scared off because I became an overly possessive guy, much less acting that way days into knowing one another.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, as I let out a deep breath in attempt to collect my thoughts.

"Go back to the hotel," I breathed, defeated.

"Sir?"

I opened my eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry about before. Just go. It's fine."

Charlie pushed his eyebrows together and studied me for a moment, but then pulled away from the curb for a second time. I needed to make sure to tip him really well for putting up with my neuroses when we got back, he'd always been great and I was being a complete ass.

I needed to let her go, as much as it killed me to do it, I did. Bella was already at risk of missing her flight because of my inability to do just that; I didn't need to guarantee that she missed it.

Her flight! I felt hope spring up within me. She might have missed it; she might have been too late without my going after her. I was determined to not do anything else to interfere with her getting to her flight on time, but if she'd already missed it…

She wasn't answering her phone, so I quick sent her a text:

**Me****: Call me if you didn't make your flight, I'll come get you and you can fly back tomorrow… it would be just one more day. X**

I hoped she had missed it so much I felt dizzy from it. I would have felt horrible because I knew it was my fault for keeping her, but I wouldn't have cared once she was in my arms again, in my hotel room, in my bed.

Fuck me. One thought of Bella back in my bed and I was instantly hard. It was like I was a teenager all over again when it came to her.

When we got back to the hotel, I had apologized to Charlie and my peace offering. He accepted the apology with an easy smile, and refused the money.

I'd still not heard back from Bella and knew at that point I had to accept that Bella was in the air and on her way to the other coast, thousands of miles away from me. During the ascent to my floor, after checking one more time to make sure she hadn't texted or called, I sent her another text:

**Me****: I haven't heard from you, so I'm guessing you made your flight. Let me know when you land safely. I'll get my schedule and we'll figure it out, okay? I miss you. X**

I called Irina and told her to get back to me with _any _breaks in my schedule. I didn't care if it was just one day, or even a half-a-day if I was on the west coast, I wanted every option. Then I headed for the piano bench, sitting on it backwards. I set down my cell phone beside me, picked up my guitar and began playing; keeping myself busy and giving myself an outlet while I waited for Irina to tell me how long my hell would last, and for Bella to call so I could hear her voice again.

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**AN: I'd love to know what you thought and hope you enjoyed the little non-chapter while you wait for the next "real" chapter. XO -TJE**

**Oh and I have a Song Rec for this non-chapter, chapter:**

**Here without You **_**by**_** 3 Doors Down**


	17. Chapter 17 Back to Reality

**Thank you MC for your betaing! And thank you to everyone who has been reviewing! I hope you continue to do so!**

**Reminder: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. This all human version of events, however, is mine.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 17: Back to Reality**

As the plane began its decent into SEATAC, we dropped into the grey haze that hid the ground beneath it. I found myself comforted when we sank into the clouds; it was almost as if they understood how miserable I felt. They blocked out the cheerful afternoon sun that had shone down on us above the cloudbank. The entire flight home we'd chased the happy sun, it had shined brightly in the sky as if it was mocking me. Maybe it was trying to cheer me up, but what it didn't understand was that I couldn't feel anything but lost and empty right now. I felt dismal; just like the grey, glowering haze we were now immersed in, the only thing that seemed to understand. It surrounded the plane caging us inside its dreariness, reflecting my feelings back to me; heavy, gloomy, grey.

No matter how many times I tried to reassure myself, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that, even though Edward had promised that I would see him again, I never would. The feeling was like a haunting hanging over me—heavy and chilling.

...

Rose and I had narrowly missed our flight due to my Edward-induced late arrival to the airport—something I wouldn't have taken back for anything. We had hurried through check-in, luckily got the short line through security and raced to our gate. Out of breath, we shoved our tickets at the attendant and boarded the plane as they shut the doors directly behind us.

"Okay, tell me," Rose said demanding as we plopped into our seats.

"Tell you what?"

"Don't play dumb Bella. I know you didn't listen to me. It's obvious that you got attached to him. So tell me what happened with you and Edward. How did you leave things?" she demanded.

She wanted it straight, exactly like she always wanted everything; no bullshit.

"He said he wants to see me again," I said trying the words out but they didn't feel right. It was what Edward had said and at the time it felt like he'd meant it, but now that I was going to be thousands of miles away from him, it didn't feel real. "Actually he said he only wants to see me. We even established that we're together."

"You sound skeptical. Do you think he was lying?" Rose asked carefully like she was trying to keep someone calm, like they might burst into hysterics at any moment.

Perhaps I wasn't keeping as good of a handle on myself as I had thought.

"No…" I said because it didn't feel like Edward was lying. But I could hear what Rose heard; I didn't believe that I'd see him again. The entire idea of dating Edward seemed so absurd… laughable really. I was nothing but plain, ordinary me. Edward was, well, _Edward_. It didn't make sense. "I don't know. He said that he wants me to call him when I land, so we can figure out when we can see each other again."

"Bell," Rose said my name with a sigh, "I still want you to be careful, because I don't want you to get hurt, but I also think you shouldn't discount what Edward said. If he said he wants to see you again, he probably does. You have this terrible habit of belittling yourself and it's completely unwarranted. Plus Emmett told me some things. Edward is not the kind of guy that just fucks around or does anything lightly. I know it quickly became more than hot eye-fuck lust and I'm inclined to believe that it wasn't just on your part."

"What did Emmett say to you to change your stand that they're poster children for unattainable, unavailable guys?"

"I still say they are, but let's just say there's more to Emmett than I'd first assumed. And as for you and Edward; for starters, Emmett really likes you. He thinks you're good for his brother," she said. "He said you'd brought something out in him he's never seen before."

Rose paused and a private smile crossed her face as her eyes went unfocused like they did when someone was lost in a memory.

"So, when are you going to see Emmett again?" I asked ascertaining that with the way sparks flew with the two of them and with her comment about there being more to Emmett; they would have wanted to see one another again. Plus, I wanted to redirect the conversation away from Edward. Talking about him wasn't helping me keep my feelings under control. I could feel that I was on the verge of breaking down into tears. I had been holding it in since before I left the hotel, and I was trying my damndest to wait until I was home in the privacy of my apartment, but my resolve was slowly breaking down, I knew I couldn't talk about Edward anymore.

"I'm not," Rose said, matter-of-factly, as her eyes refocusing on me and she composed herself, like she was trying to hide something. I felt my eyebrows push together in confusion—hiding what she thought or felt was not normal behavior for Rosalie. And the way she had just talked about Emmett… it didn't make any sense.

Or had I been right? Maybe Rose did still harbor feelings about Royce that she couldn't let go of.

"Bell," Rosalie elaborated, taking in my confusion, "I like Emmett. A lot. If it was just me, I wouldn't have thought twice about agreeing to see him again when he asked. But it's not just me; I have to think about Henry. I can't start dating a guy like Emmett. I need to find a man that will be a constant presence in my life, and eventually in Henry's life. It's bad enough that Royce and I failed to make it work. I can't get involved with a guy that will never be around; it wouldn't be good for Henry. No. It's best to just leave it as it is; a fun weekend fling, instead of complicating things by stringing it out and making it worse later when I would have to make the same decision. It just wouldn't work."

So it wasn't about Royce at all. I could tell by the tone of her voice it had really hurt her to cut things off with Emmett; but yet, she had.

I nodded like I understood her point of view, even though I didn't. Emmett was what I would consider Rosalie's perfect guy, and if she didn't still have a hang-up over her ex, then I didn't see the problem. So what if it wasn't the perfect situation? What relationship was ideally perfect in every way anyhow?

I spent the rest of the flight focused on attempting to detangle Rosalie's crux to keep my mind off of the securely locked Edward box that I wouldn't open until I was able to deal with it alone. By the time we landed, I decided that Rosalie was wrong; if she would truly be happy, it shouldn't matter that Emmett would be away some of the time. Shouldn't happiness and some time apart outweigh unhappiness and a constant presence? But then again, I had been ready to settle for a lifetime of mediocre love and lukewarm feelings for someone who was around, but when I looked back on it treated me terribly. But I wasn't a mother, nor did I ever intend to be, so what did I really know about her situation?

I decided I'd talk to Rose about that later, once she'd been away from Emmett for a while. I wondered if by the time I talked to her if she'd have changed her mind.

When we arrived at the baggage claim area of SEATAC, I spotted Jake almost immediately and felt myself smile involuntarily. I'd missed him more than I'd realized.

I raised my hand to wave to him, seeing that he still had the same facial hair look that he did when I'd left—something I'd half-expected to be different. He raised his head and looked directly at me, but he didn't wave back or flash me his Jacoby-warm smile; instead his eyes looked stormy as they bored into me as I closed the gap between us. Jacob looked intimidating, leaning against the wall near our flight's baggage claim carrousel with his arms crossed, tattoos on his arms peeking out from under his white t-shirt and a severe, contemplative look on his face. I watched as strangers gave him a wide breadth as they walked by him and, for probably the first time in my life, I could really see why.

"Hey Chief, glad you could make it," I greeted with a small smile in my attempt to hide my unease from the vibes Jake was throwing off.

"Tell me it's not true," he demanded point-blank as his brown eyes flashed to mine.

I stopped short. What?

"Is what not true?" I asked feeling my heartbeat quicken. I told myself that his question could have been about anything, and I wasn't about to admit to something I didn't know for sure he even knew about. As far as I knew, he still thought Jess had been going off the wall about more wax figures and was blissfully clueless that I'd actually spent time with the real thing. I'd tell him about that when I figured out what in the world I was going to say. He could have been talking about anything.

Jake let out an exasperated sigh as he unfolded his arms and held up a printed internet article I'd not noticed he was holding. It was a picture of Edward and me in my hotel's lobby the night before. The headline read: _Anthony Cullen Spotted at Hotel with Same Mystery Woman_.

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. There was no doubt in my mind that anyone who knew me, would know that the "mystery woman" standing next to Edward was most definitely me.

Oh shit.

Jake knew there was at least some truth to the crazed nonsense Jess had been spouting.

How the hell was I supposed respond to such a thing? I didn't have a clue. My mind was completely devoid of thought other than taking in the fact that the article in my brother's hand felt like it blasted the sound of Edward making me come undone just minutes before the photograph was taken. A neon sign detailing exactly what Edward and I had been doing on my vacation felt like it would have been less blaringly obvious than the article Jake held in his hand.

"I, um—" I sputtered feeling like I was standing in a sauna.

What the hell kind of lights did they use in this airport's baggage claim anyway? Heat lamps?

Jake's eyes went wide realizing I couldn't deny it.

"Jesus Bells," he exclaimed and turned the article back to facing himself, looking at it again with the knowledge of my virtual confirmation. Apparently up until that moment he had still held some seed of doubt. "What the fuck did you do?" he muttered under his breath, studying the photo.

Rose laughed loudly. "I believe the question you're looking for, is '_Who_ did you do' not '_What'_, and it appears the article in your hand is quite clear on that subject, Chief." Rose grinned widely.

Oh my God.

I felt myself blush so deeply, I began to sweat from its warmth as I watched my brother's complexion take on a slightly green hue.

The airport most definitely used heat lamps for lighting. Very powerful ones.

I glanced around for any holes in the ground I could crawl into.

Nope. Not even one. Damn it.

"Ugh Rose! Seriously, that's my sister. I did _not_ need to hear that," Jake grimaced.

Annoyance suddenly flooded in, overriding my embarrassment.

"You know what?" I piped up finding the bottled-up emotions had returned my voice to me. "You don't have any right to get all weird about _this_ because I know about what happened between you and Rose," I spouted angrily at him. It was about time he knew.

Jake's mouth dropped open and his eyes flashed to mine in surprise.

"Yeah," I continued. "I've known for years, every last _elaborate _detail about your hook-ups. Details I wish I never knew; things I can never un-hear; things that a sister shouldseriously _never _know about her brother. So don't get all weird over a damn photograph and an implication," I huffed and turned on my heel to the baggage carrousel that was beginning to dispense luggage from our flight, leaving Jake in stunned silence and Rose trailing behind me in a fit of giggles over my rant.

When our luggage appeared, Jake huffily pulled both Rose's and my bags off the carrousel and towed them to his car without a word. When he shoved the bags roughly into the trunk, he flashed Rose an angry glare, she snorted.

"Oh please Chief, don't give me that. You shouldn't be surprised. You know full-well I tell Bell everything; I always have." Rose stated unabashedly.

Jake slammed the trunk harder than necessary and shot her another glare in response, as he stormed to the driver-side of the car.

"Or is it something else?" Rose asked. "You're not worried about_ what _I'd said, are you?" She let out an annoyed sigh. "Boys! It's always about their dicks."

Rose slid sinuously into the back seat of the car. I less gracefully climbed into the front watching Jake flash Rosalie another glare in the rearview mirror; making sure she knew he was still pissed at her for telling me about what had happened between them.

Jake threw the car into reverse to back out of spot and snapped, finally breaking his angry silence, "No, I'm not exactly _thrilled _you told my little sister the details about that; _but that's not the point!_ The point is Rose, you were supposed to keep an eye on her!" he yelled shooting daggers at her reflection. "Where the _hell _were you?"

He held up the print-out angrily as if showing her she wasn't with me in the picture, whipped it angrily to the floor and then threw the car into drive.

Wait. What?

Jake wasn't pissed at Rosalie for telling me about them hooking up; he was pissed at her for not upholding_ babysitting_ duties he'd apparently appointed her to?

What the hell? How old did he think I was? Ten?

"Do I really have to remind you that I am an adult Jacob?" I seethed. "We're not kids anymore; I am quite capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much."

Rose laughed unperturbed.

"It looks like you know full-well where I was Chief," Rose said ignoring my spout as she picked up several other sheets of paper from the back seat. She held up one that had a picture I'd not seen yet; it was of Rose in the striking red dress with Emmett, from the night before. "Apparently what happens in _New York_ does not stay in New York."

Holy crow it was so strange seeing our lives announced like that. I wondered if it was something you ever could get used to. It didn't seem like Edward was used to it, but I'd have to ask him.

Edward.

My heart leaped as I dove into my purse and turned on my phone that had been off for the past six hours. I'd been so hell-bent on trying to not think about him, I nearly forgot my promise that I would let him know when I landed.

Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I waited for the phone to boot up ignoring Jake and Rose bickering. A thousand questions of doubt raced through my mind wondering if he would still feel the same about wanting to see me again. Now that I was thousands of miles away, would he wonder how he had felt that way about seeing me again, and change his mind? Would he have something akin to "buyer's remorse" after I left with knowing he could have me after my vacation ended? The chase was over, I was a guaranteed thing and he'd lose all interest?

My heart jumped when my phone indicated that I had both voicemails and text messages. I looked at the texts first because it was quicker. There were several from Jess, a couple from Jake, one from Mike (?), one from my mother and a couple from Edward. The texts from everyone else could have been about my apartment burning down or the world ending, it didn't matter and I didn't care, I went straight to the texts from Edward:

**Call me if you didn't make your flight, I'll come get you and you can fly back tomorrow… it would be just one more day. X**

He really did want me to stay. Sitting here a world away from him, I wanted more than anything to have missed my flight so I could be lying in his arms at this very moment. I could almost feel his arms around me; a feeling that was pure happiness and being without was agony. I missed him so much it hurt. I felt the tears begin to threaten. I hastily wiped away the one that managed to escape ignoring the feeling of Jake's eyes on me and composed myself.

_Just a little while longer._

I read the next text from him:

**I haven't heard from you, so I'm guessing you made your flight. Let me know when you land safely. I'll get my schedule and we'll figure it out, okay? I miss you. X**

He missed me too.

"Earth to Bella," Jake's voice intruded my thoughts.

"What?" I asked distractedly.

"I asked you how your vacation was other than what I already know. Or did you two waste the entire trip with the dude from _Army Force _and his brother?" Jake asked and then muttered, "That's seriously weird to even say."

"How did that even _happen_ by-the-way?" Jake asked before I could reply to his last question.

"We met them when we were at the Rules of Caius concert," I explained simply setting my phone in my lap.

"Technically," Rosalie scoffed.

"What do you mean?" Jake asked, looking at her intently in the rear view mirror; she'd caught his attention with the comment.

Was she really going to tell him about what had happened at the taping and my swallowing comment to Edward?

Oh God no.

I turned, begging her with my eyes to not go there. I didn't want to live the blowjob comment the first time when I'd said it to Edward; I _really _didn't want to re-live it with my brother.

"Well, we went to _The Late Show _taping, and E—Anthony was the guest, so—" Rosalie said simply, like that was all there was to tell. I silently thanked her.

"But the concert was the second night you were there, so you still wasted nearly your entire vacation with a couple of famous guys just looking to get laid?" Jake piped in angrily. "Nice. And what do you get out of the deal after they sent you on your way? Bragging rights and a couple of STDs? I'm so happy for you."

"Nice to know you think so highly of me and my standards," I singed.

This was going to be a long car ride.

Rose smartly bowed out of the argument between Jake and I, both of us knowing Jake's problem with what had happened rested solely on me not her.

"Come on Bells," Jake pleaded, his tone and eyes softer now. "I know you're not like that, but that doesn't mean they don't have the art of getting a girl into bed with them down to a science."

"It wasn't like that," I pressed stubbornly.

"Fine, if you say so. But I still don't like it," Jake said just as stubbornly, his words hardening again. "I don't trust hi—either one of them."

"I hate to break it to you Jacob, but no one asked for your opinion," I snapped. "Besides, why would he ask to see me again if he had just wanted to 'get laid'?" I asked impressed that my words sounded more confident than I felt in them.

"It wouldn't be the first time a guy misled into thinking something was different than what it was," Jake insisted eyeing me meaningfully.

"Ugh, that's a low blow Jake," I said stung by his words.

"Look," Jake pleaded, "I'd kept my trap shut about how I felt about James and still kick myself about it because maybe if I'd have said something you wouldn't have gotten so hurt. I'm not going to make that mistake again. Even if you end up hating me for it."

"Thank you for your concern Chief, but I assure you, I'm fine," I said through my teeth, closing the subject and drew my attention back to my phone. I needed to believe that Edward was telling the truth. I needed to hear his voice, and his reassurance, but there was no way I could talk to him with Jacob glaring at me, listening and analyzing everything I said. And I couldn't handle even thinking about what Jake would do or say if I called Edward and he didn't answer. I settled for sending Edward a text for now:

**I did make the flight (just barely) though I wish I hadn't. We've landed and my brother is giving us a ride from the airport now. I'll call you after I get home. I miss you too.**

Edward's reply came almost immediately making my heart flutter:

**I really wish you had missed it too. I'll wait for your call. I have my schedule. X**

I could feel his words form a foothold of reassurance inside me. His words weren't mind-blowing or exceedingly reassuring or anything of epic proportions. Rather, it was the simple fact that he was still _there_. Edward had felt more like a dream than reality and the fact that I'd been in a strange city, made the entire time with him feel even more unreal. Being in a familiar place and still have some sort of tether to him, made our time together feel more believable—especially after my doubts were festered by Jake. It was like waking up the day after something amazing happening and finding some sort of talisman that proved the amazing thing was real and not just a vivid dream.

I closed my eyes and smiled, pretending I had missed the flight and I was back in his arms the rest of the ride home.

When we arrived at my apartment, Rose quickly transferred her luggage to her car and immediately headed home to see Henry. Jake brought up my luggage and left; barely saying a word, still not happy with me. Jake had just left my apartment when Jessica was at my door assaulting me with a barrage of questions, squeals and incoherent ramblings. She took a solid hour to calm down, constantly vacillating between loving me because I was her link to "Anthony", to hating me out of unadulterated jealousy. It didn't help that the pregnancy hormones were running rampant through her body, making her bordering on manic insanity.

And all I wanted her to do was leave, so I could hear Edward's voice.

Eventually she calmed down and left, but not before I had to promise her that I would arrange for her to meet him. I couldn't help but feel like something of a liar, telling her that when I didn't know my fate of seeing Edward again much less promising one to someone else. But it got her to leave, reminding me we were all meeting at our parent's place for pizza in a couple hours.

Being back to reality sucked.

I closed the door behind Jess, took a deep breath and called Edward's number. I immediately felt the assault of butterflies much like I had the first time I'd called him and wondered if he would even answer.

"Bella?" Edward's voice graced my ears after the first ring.

I felt a wave of relief crash over me. It felt so _good _to hear his voice. I took a deep, full breath, realizing I'd not really breathed since I had left his side.

"You answered," I breathed stupidly in my surprise.

"That is usually how phone calls work Bella," Edward laughed. "One person calls, and the other person answers. Most of the time there's usually a conversation too."

"Shut up," I laughed at myself.

"Yeah, of course I answered, Bella," Edward said sending a round of tingles through my body. "Did you really think I wouldn't?"

"So you have your schedule?" I asked, dodging the question and biting my lip realizing I might not have wanted to know the answer to that as much as I didn't want to answer Edward's question.

"Yes, I do," he said hesitantly.

Oh God. This was going to be bad. I could feel my heart sink and my blood pressure ratchet up. My knees gave out beneath me and I sank to the ground. I could feel the swell of my unspoken emotions coming to the surface.

"I'm going to be in Seattle in a couple weeks for a family thing and I'd really like you to come," Edward said sounding wary.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief and then his words sunk in and a goofy smile spread quickly across my face.

"I know it's really soon to be asking you to meet my parents," he added quickly, "but I don't think I could handle being that close to you without being able to see you. Will you come?"

Had I fallen asleep on the drive home and was dreaming this? I had been half-convinced that I wouldn't ever see Edward again; hearing that I would be able to see him in just a couple weeks sounded almost too good to be true.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Did I scare you off? You don't have to come if you don't want to meet them, I'll figure out something else—" Edward's voice faltered. "Or if you changed your mind about seeing me again—"

"What?" I asked alarmed. Then I realized I hadn't answered his question. "No! I mean, yes. Yes, of course I'll come."

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that," Edward breathed.

"Did you really think I wouldn't?" I asked throwing his earlier question back at him unable to stop smiling. "Definitely, I'll get to see you. But," I paused and whispered one of my fears as if the low volume meant that it softened the question, "what if they don't like me?"

"Don't worry, love," he chuckled. "They're not as scary as they must seem. I'm positive that they're going to love you, I don't know how anyone couldn't."

My breathing hitched and my heart felt like it swelled filling with a warm tingling sensation I couldn't help from swelling over me at his words.

Edward and I talked until I pulled up to my parent's house and I was forced to say goodbye. But I found it was a little easier this time knowing he really was still there after I'd gotten home and even more, knowing that I would see him again in just two weeks.

That knowledge kept me together and gave me the strength to walk into my parents' house to face yet another inquisition that loomed before me.

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**Love to know what you think.**


	18. Chapter 18  Counting Down the Days

**Thanks to everyone who has added this story to their alerts and favorites. And a**** huge thank you to those who've reviewed! I suck at replying to thank you personally. I know this but know I think you guys are awesome and I hope you keep reviewing.**

**Thank you, MC, for all you do. **

**A quick reminder, **_**The Trip **_**to New York was in the beginning of June. I just thought I'd mention it since it feels anything but summerish right now where I am.**

******Reminder: Twilight and all its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. This all human version of events, however, is mine (with MC's magic touches to make it better).**

**Song Rec for this chapter: **

**-18 Days** _by_ **Saving Abel-**

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=UHcUEnmQ8AI

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 18: Counting Down the Days**

Supper with my family, the night I got home, had proved to be just as strange and irksome as my car ride from the airport with Jake, and Jess' assault on me at my apartment earlier that day. Renee and Jess bombarded me with barrages of questions; wanting details that I refused to answer, while I blushed profusely wishing they would just let it go. Leah laughed as she sat back and watched their attack and my discomfort—she was absolutely no help. Mike shot daggers in our direction as he tended to Riley; I wasn't sure if the looks were intended for Jess for her enthusiasm or me for giving Jessica a connection to her obsession. Either way it was obvious he wasn't thrilled about the topic of conversation. Jake and Charlie both grunted their disapproval of my vacation activities—of which I had never fully admitted to—before they took a box of pizza, a couple bottles of beer each and sat down in front of the television to watch a baseball game; Mike with Riley following behind them. Neither Dad nor Jake were exactly happy about me spending time with Edward on my vacation; they were both convinced all he was going to do was hurt me, as a result, they were determined to hate him.

Edward. Sigh.

I'd slipped and called Edward by his real name. It was difficult for me to remember to call him Anthony; it just didn't feel right. To me _Anthony Cullen_ was a fictional character now, it wasn't who Edward was, and it wasn't who I'd spent my vacation with. Edward was so much more than the Anthony facade. But that slip was a mistake of epic proportions, it set Jessica on another attack of questions and demands of information.

Their questioning made me feel like I was a defenseless animal cornered by wolves, they just wouldn't let up. They insisted that since I had never told them any personal details of past relationships, somehow obligated me to tell them about this to make up for it.

After I left my parents' place, I'd run to the grocery store to re-stock my diminished pre-trip food supply and immediately wished I hadn't. It had felt like all eyes were on me; judging, questioning, whispering and following me as I navigated through the store. Okay, so they probably weren't _all_ looking at me, but it sure as hell felt like it. I was so uncomfortable, I'd hurried out of there forgetting several things I needed. I'd might have gone back to brave the questioned scrutiny if Lauren's younger sister, who worked as a check-out girl, hadn't loudly gushed about my hooking up with "_the_ Anthony Cullen"; confirming my fears weren't completely out of paranoia. I poorly deflected, stuttering something incoherent to the effect that I didn't know what she was referring to and dashed out of the store.

I was completely unprepared to answer questions about him. Even though Edward had told me that I could tell people we were together, reassuring me again the night before on the phone that he had no intention of denying a relationship with me, even if he wasn't going to help the press figure out _who_ I was, I felt like I shouldn't expose any part of the real him—like it was a violation of his trust somehow.

Work the following day was just as taxing with all the looks and whispers from people—and it wasn't just because of the bouquet of flowers Edward had sent to the office. The note attached read:

_Bella - You'd said these were your favorite, right? I hope things aren't too terrible for you at home because of me. If you want to get away from it, you know you're more than welcome to come back to me any time you want. I'll see you soon. X_

While the fact that Edward had sent me my favorite flowers made my chest fill with warmth and put a ridiculous smile on my face, they definitely got the rest of the office's attention too. Not that the office wasn't already all-too aware. News spread fast in small towns—of course it didn't help that my sister was married to a co-owner of the company I worked for and Jess did a good amount of damage before I'd come home. I hoped that my conversations with Jessica would curb her gossiping; since I was back, I'd let her know that I didn't want her telling everyone under the sun about my personal life no matter who it involved and asked her to keep things strictly within the family, because this was hell. Though, there was an upside to the stream of questions; I had avoided so many questions from my co-workers throughout the day that I was getting the hang of the art of deflection and non-answers. But by the time I left work that day, I had succeeded in getting absolutely nothing accomplished for the day other than missing Edward even more with the constant reminder of him.

The next couple weeks without Edward dragged excruciatingly slow. I missed him so much it literally hurt—my body ached for him, screaming in protest with the lack of his electric touch. I couldn't sleep—my bed felt foreign, it was too big and too cold without him next to me. Altogether, I just didn't feel right, or whole.

Every morning I would wake in a panic, thinking for a moment that my time with Edward had all been a vivid dream. But that was usually when Edward would call to tell me good morning, as he'd made a habit to do after finding out what time I usually got up for work. His call would re-cement him as a reality, easing some of my panic and dulling the pain of being without his presence.

I'd never known it was possible to miss someone this much. So much that sometimes it even hurt to breathe.

Even worse, I realized I didn't have a single picture of him, which didn't help the feeling that ate at me that Edward was only a dream. Okay so that wasn't _entirely_ true, technically I had access to thousands of pictures of him if I did a Google image search. I even had several pictures of the two of us together in New York, but those weren't the same. I wanted a picture of him that was of _Edward_ not _Anthony_ and I wanted a picture that was mine not the whole world's. That was not to say I didn't have all the pictures of us together that had been published, I just wanted one that was _real _to only us_._

During our time apart I kept as busy as possible with work in attempt to keep Edward off my mind so I could stay sane—not that it ever really worked because he was always on my mind, but it didn't keep me from trying. The stretches of distraction were laced with bits of Edward where we would text one another throughout the day. They were usually about random things that had nothing to do with anything other than it was a way we could be connected. I looked forward to his texts. Though they weren't about anything in particular, they never failed to make me smile, knowing he was thinking about me as much as I was about him.

**That Press Junket was hell. I answered the same questions for hours. They should tape the first interview and play it back for the rest… the interviewers wouldn't know the difference.**

**You know they don't care about the questions; they're there to flirt with you. They would miss you if you weren't there. I should know, I'm kind of a reliable source on the subject.**

**Yeah I miss you too, love. X**

...

**I'm so tired this morning. It feels I could literally fall asleep standing up. But it's too unbearably hot out already for coffee.**

**Try an iced coffee. They're delicious. Why are you so tired? Out partying all night with Emmett?**

**Really? It's not like drinking coffee when it's sat too long and got cold? Because that tastes horrible… No partying, I just can't sleep.**

**LOL - No, they don't taste like that at all. They're really good. Try vanilla. –Yeah I know, I can't sleep either.**

**Alright. I'm trusting you. If I hate it, it's your fault… Sorry you can't sleep.**

**Fine. I'll take full responsibility, but you won't hate it. –Don't apologize. I'm fine, Edward. **

**Thanks to you, love, I found my new favorite coffee. These things are great, but they're gone really fast. I think I need to have another.**

**Insatiable ;)**

**No love, that's YOU.**

**Only when it comes to you, Edward. God, I miss you.**

**I know. Me too, Bella. So much. Just a few more days love…**

I was painfully aware of how much longer I had until I saw Edward. I was counting down the days until I saw him again and even though every day I got closer, it still felt like forever away. Two weeks away from Edward felt like a lifetime. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said that this wasn't going to be easy. But the alternative wasn't an option if I had a say in it, so I'd have to figure out how to do it somehow.

The next couple days followed in sluggish fashion, feeling like everything was set on slow motion; five minutes would pass and it felt like it had been an hour. But finally it was the afternoon before I'd see Edward again.

Edward was due to fly into SEATAC early in the morning. I had taken the day off work to meet him at the airport when he flew in. Edward was going to send a car to pick me up in the morning so I could be waiting for him when he landed. I had insisted on meeting him there so I could see him sooner, so he insisted on the driver because he said he was going to need my full attention. I happily complied given that reason.

I drove home from work completely keyed up. Even though sleep had been something I'd not seen much of the last couple weeks, I knew it had virtually zero chance of happening at all tonight with the knowledge that I would see Edward in about twelve hours. To hell with sleeping, I was going to be jumping in that car the second it pulled up in front of my place.

Edward had sounded like he was walking on the same cloud as I was when I spoke to him briefly on my drive home, which made me feel amazing that Edward, for whatever unknown reason, seemed to be looking forward to seeing me as much as I was him. The conversation was short, but his promise of seeing me soon sent my mood soaring, knowing it was finally true.

When I got home, in a cheery mood thanks to Edward, I changed into a t-shirt and jeans and pulled out my suitcase to pack. Edward had asked me to stay in Seattle with him while he was in town and I was more than willing to agree to a couple nights of Edward all to myself.

Floozy Bella was beside herself about the prospect, flashing all sorts of deliciously lascivious images of Edward in my mind making me want him even more if it were possible.

Edward had been vague about exactly what kind of family thing he was going to be in Seattle for; just that his parents lived in the area and his family was getting together. It wasn't a lot to go on for packing purposes, so I erred on the side of caution packing a variety of things and mostly opted for clothing that Rose had picked out for me during various shopping trips she'd dragged me to. I decided to bring along the blue dress I'd worn during my trip just to be prepared for everything. Well, that and the memory of the way Edward looked at me in that dress sent shivers down my spine in hopeful anticipation.

I felt only slightly guilty for not telling anyone I was going to be out of town over the weekend, but not guilty enough to come clean. I didn't like to bring Edward up to Rose because talking about him seemed bothered her; I knew it was because she missed Emmett, but she was too pigheaded to admit it. If my mom knew, she would just fret about me unnecessarily. Jess would freak out and find a way to stash herself into my luggage so she could meet Edward. And Jake would get moody and grunt his disapproval—something I've had more than my fill of since I'd been back from New York. It just didn't seem worth the headache to bring up to anyone, especially since I would be back in time to have our weekly pizza night on Sunday at my parents' place. Most likely no one would even know I was gone. If it was just a family thing, I didn't see how we'd be spotted by anyone. Besides, I didn't know why anyone needed to know in the first place, all informing anyone of anything seemed to do was make things worse. Edward was right to want to hide from all the attention.

A knock at my door interrupted my packing.

I momentarily panicked looking at the suitcase on the bed. It wasn't uncommon for Jake to drop by if he was in the area, just to bullshit over a beer, especially towards the end of the week. If he spotted the suitcase, it would raise questions. Of course he hadn't been by since he dropped me off from the airport because he thought I was being stupid and that I was just going to get myself hurt. But we've never gone this long without hanging out together, so it wouldn't surprise me if it was him. Well, Jake or Rose. Rose had been reluctant to give up any time with Henry since we'd been back, but it was Thursday and Thursday's were Royce's night to have him so even though she usually called before stopping, it could have been her.

Not wanting to explain myself to whomever it was, I quick shoved the suitcase into the closet, forcing the door closed, hoping it would hold.

I heard another knock and hurried out of my bedroom.

I peeked out the window that overlooked the street on my way to the door. I lived in an apartment that was on top of a business in the downtown part of Port Angeles. The lower level was the business and the upper level was an apartment. The lock on the street level never had worked and I never complained because I liked that I didn't have to deal with the hassle of having them call and me going down since there wasn't a buzzer. Plus I knew it was strange, but I found having people knock directly at my door; it felt more like a home. I didn't see Jake's squad car or his regular car, but the street was full of vehicles on a Thursday afternoon, so that didn't mean anything.

I looked out the peephole. My heart lurched and began galloping at uncharted speeds sending tingles through my body. I didn't see his face, he was turned away from the door, but there was no mistaking who owned the riot of bronze hair standing outside my door.

My phone began singing out my favorite song. His song. But whoever that was could wait. Everything could wait because he was here. Somehow, impossibly, he was _here_.

I fumbled with the lock, having trouble turning the simple mechanism and flung the door open in time to see him turn back around toward the door at the commotion I made trying to open the stupid thing. I vaguely noted that my phone stopped singing at the same time as he pulled his phone away from his ear because I was too entranced by his emerald green eyes that locked with mine.

"Edward," I gasped. My breathing quickened and tears fell from my eyes as I leaped into his arms. "Edward!" I repeated in disbelief.

He staggered, keeping his balance in his surprise as I wrapped my arms and legs securely around him, holding him prisoner there. He welcomed me, embracing me with his arms, holding me just as tightly, breathing a laugh at my exuberance.

"Bella," he breathed through a chuckle, sounding relieved as I breathed in a lungful of Edward's honey and sunshine smell off the skin of his neck.

He smelled even better than I remembered.

My body felt alive. Every last piece of it. Alive. Electric. Whole.

I cut off his laughter with my lips, pressing them firmly to his.

The mood changed instantly, his smile dissolved and he parted his lips moving them with mine, returning my urgency with his own. He quickly deepened the kiss twisting his tongue with mine, letting me taste his sweet breath as he walked us into my apartment, pushing the door closed behind us with his foot, keeping his arms firmly around me.

Questions raced through my head asking why he was here, _how_ he was here. But they would have to wait for later. I had more important things on my mind that shoved those questions back.

I needed him and I could very obviously feel that I wasn't alone in that need.

I unwrapped my legs from around him. He made a sound of protest as I slid down his body, and refused to surrender my lips. He slipped his hand through my hair and held me to him not realizing I was just as opposed to breaking the kiss.

I led our way to the bed, navigating through the apartment that was foreign to him, shedding our clothing hastily as we went. When the condom was in place he threw me roughly to the bed, grabbed ahold of my hips yanking me firmly against his as he stood at the edge of the bed, leaning over me, not yet entering. His eyes were dark and full of wanting need as they locked with mine; they looked exactly the way I felt, I needed him in that moment more than I ever needed anything.

I arched my back and ground against him greedily grasping his hard shoulders, whining his name, begging him to enter me.

Edward let out a shaky breath, "I know," but he didn't concede to my pleading. Instead he kissed my lips eagerly. Then he trailed the kisses across my jaw and down my neck making me writhe under him, begging for the connection, but he continued to withhold. His mouth found my left breast while his hand tended to the other, making me gasp and cry out. He continued his sweet torture by sliding his hand from my breast, trailing his fingers down my stomach and between my legs, pressing first one then a second finger expertly into my core making me quickly and loudly come undone the way only he could make me.

I opened my eyes, breathing heavily as I came down from my high to find the now familiar look of his eyes dark, wild and full of desire as they intensely watched me. He stared for a moment and then opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but instead quickly closed the distance between us; pressing his lips to mine, making me forget my name until he reminded me in soft murmurs.

Edward slid the palms of his hands up and down along the sides of my bare body soliciting a loud moan. The feeling of his hands on my body was pure heaven. Then he slid one arm around me, finding the curve of my back, splaying his palm on my spine as he slipped his other hand around the back of my neck. He laced his fingers in my hair, lifting me to him and finally pushed himself into me and I could feel all of the last two week's anxieties melted away.

XXXXX

"I just moved some things around so I could catch an earlier flight," Edward explained as if it were that simple. "I didn't want to tell you in case I couldn't pull it off. When you called after work, I was in the car on the way here. I was so close to ruining the surprise I knew if I kept talking to you I would," he said turning to me.

I was only half listening to the words coming out of Edward's sexy mouth. He was standing in front of the stove in just his jeans making us something to eat. I'd staked claim of his t-shirt while he insisted on being more than a foot away from me, so I could still smell his honey and sunshine scent, which left him without one.

I'd have to remember to steal Edward's t-shirts more often.

God it was sexy watching him cook without a shirt on—it was sexy watching him do anything—but I was enraptured by his hard, well-defined muscles moving as he tended to the food he'd insisted on cooking. I sat at the table, one leg crossed under me and the other bent upwards with the foot on the chair, drinking my bottle of beer watching him; marveling at him.

He was _here_. Edward was really here, with me, in my house and I found it cemented him as reality in a whole new way.

He turned away from the stove, leaning against the counter to face me as he grabbed his bottle of beer from the counter and took a pull. I stared at his rippled stomach, defined arms and sensual neck with the sexy as hell Adams Apple bobbing in the middle of it when he swallowed. My eyes continued up, running greedily along his porn of a jawline finding the sight of it all went straight to my core. We'd only just finished and I was ready for more.

Edward was right. I was insatiable. It was a feeling completely foreign to me, but it felt right, like everything with Edward. Nothing, especially sex, had ever felt right until Edward. Now, it felt so right, I simply couldn't get enough.

My eyes drifted down his muscular chest and stomach, when they made their way to the V that disappeared beneath the waist of his jeans, I licked and then bit my lip in want.

Edward pulled his beer away from his lips catching my gawking and smiled my favorite crooked smile.

"Insatiable," he accused teasingly, easily reading my thoughts.

I set my beer down, got up from the table and walked over to him.

"So, _I'm_ the insatiable one, but _you_ have a condom in your pocket," I accused with a grin tapping on the shape that showed through his front jeans pocket.

"I only made sure to have it on hand so I can be ready for your attack at any time because you, love, are insatiable," he smiled widely, his eyes dancing with the laughter he held back.

"It's not my fault I can't get enough of you, Edward," I said hoping he'd tell me he was willing to test the theory that I couldn't get enough.

"Oh really?" Edward laughed as he slipped his hands around me, pulling me against him. "Well whose fault is it then?"

"Yours, obviously," I teased back.

"How so?" he smirked, amused.

"Given the fact that never in my life has the word 'insatiable' been used to describe me until _you_," I explained with difficulty as Edward had slipped his hands under his t-shirt and were stroking my bare waist.

My breathing became disjointed.

"And what makes me so different?" Edward asked dragging his fingers down my stomach and running his finger pads along my underwear lines smiling innocently at me, pretending he didn't realize how crazy he was making me with his touch.

The words, "because I'm in love with you," popped up immediately in my mind, nearly leaping from my lips before I could stop them with their surprise assault. Honesty Bella had decided to make an appearance and apparently was nearly as impossible to hold back as Floozy Bella.

Where the hell did all these personalities come from? And where did Edward's go? I hadn't noticed them invite their unwelcomed selves to any of my conversations with Edward since I'd gone home and I seemed to be gaining personalities since meeting Edward. I knew you couldn't _catch_ multiple-personality disorder, but I found myself starting to question if maybe you could.

My eyes locked with Edward's as I grappled to figure out what to say. My breathing got heavier and I could feel the warmth of unease fill my chest.

Crap. What the hell was I going to say? The full, honest truth was far too much; I needed to think of something else.

A voice in my head snorted at the plan reminding me I was terrible at lying.

The silence lengthened. I could feel the air around us thicken with each passing second.

"I don't know, you just are," I breathed. My voice was unsteady, but I was relieved that I was able to keep Honesty Bella from blurting out too much too soon.

"You're a terrible liar, Bella," Edward challenged staring down at me intensely. His green eyes prodding for the answer I wouldn't say. I looked away, breaking the eye contact, trying to hide my emotions that were usually written all over my face.

Honesty Bella jumped up and down, yelling the words over and over, trying to shout them loud enough for Edward to hear.

Between her and Floozy Bella, it was beginning to feel like I had a multiple-personality cheerleading squad living in my head.

"It's okay. I get it," he tipped my chin up and brushing away a stray lock of hair, smiling softly. "Remember, I don't want you doing or saying anything you don't want to or aren't ready for. You don't have to tell me if whatever it is isn't something you're ready to say. You can let me know in your own time. Just know, I understand. I'm a bit scared and overwhelmed by this too."

I knew my emotions were easily read on my face but there was no way—had he read my mind?

Wait. Did he just say what I think he said? Was he saying he loved me too?

My eyes snapped back to his. My heart began racing with hope and want sending warmth from it.

No. I was crazy for even entertaining the thought. It wasn't possible.

Edward gave a nod as if answering my unspoken question, telling me he did, but it was so subtle I questioned if I really saw it. Still, my heart lurched out of rhythm and then continued its race as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine, my eyes closing with his contact. I felt tears sting behind my closed eyelids with unbridled hope that he did or that he could someday love me too.

I closed the distance of his lips to mine. Our emotions spilled into the kiss, quickly turning it into something more; the food next to us on the stove; completely forgotten.

Edward hooked his fingers on the sides of my underwear and began dragging his fingers down my legs, pulling my underwear until they dropped to the floor, then he lifted me up and set me on the counter. He pressed his hands on the inside of my knees, parting my legs and settled between them.

I reached for the button on his pants, and found with a small tug, it opened completely for me—button fly. I licked my lips realizing he wasn't wearing anything under his jeans. He pulled the condom from his pocket and then let his jeans fall to the floor with a swift "whoosh". I quickly snatched the condom from his hands looking for any excuse to touch him, satisfied with myself that I was able to do so much easier than the last time I'd tried.

He wasted no time, grabbing my hips, to line us up. Edward stared into my eyes. I wondered if I was just imagining the severe emotion that colored them or if it was what I'd wondered what he'd meant by the words he'd just said affecting my perception.

Edward leaned in, kissing me tenderly at first but the intensity grew quickly. When he pulled my hips forward, plunging himself deep inside me, our kisses deepened further.

He withdrew and pulled me against him again, harder this time.

Oh.

And again.

I moaned loudly in response to the feeling.

More aggressively.

Oh God.

Again.

I begged for more.

He complied.

Harder.

Again.

And again.

Over and over until he had me screaming his name as he finished with me.

Sex with Edward always felt strongly charged with emotion and sensation, but there was something more there this time, something was different. I couldn't put my finger exactly on what it was and I knew that it could have been just something I imagined. But I couldn't help but wonder if it was because of the words we didn't quite say; if he _did _know what I couldn't say was that I was in love with him and that he _had _meant that he loved me too. If so, maybe the difference I had felt was that we'd gone from having sex to making love.

I didn't know for sure. But I did know that for now, I would have to settle with simply wondering.

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	19. Chapter 19 Meet the Cullens

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**Chapter 19: Meet the Cullens**

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked as he turned off the road to a driveway sheathed so thickly in trees and plant life, the busy road behind us disappeared and quieted almost immediately.

"I'm fine," I assured him, not sure if I was lying or not as I looked out the window at the lush greenery. I'd been immersing myself in memories of the night before when Edward played to me on his guitar in my bed, trying to calm myself down. It was a very happy and soothing thought and something I couldn't help but hum in contentment when I thought about, especially when my thoughts rolled to all the other things Edward did to me in my bed last night.

Hmmm.

The problem was that even with those thoughts running blissfully through my mind, countless worries about meeting Edward's parents kept seeping back into my head; what would they think of me, would they like me, would they try to get Edward to realize just how out of my league he really was, should I have worn more make-up to show them I was trying, should I have worn less make-up to show them fully the plain me, was I dressed well enough…? The questions went round and round endlessly, torturing me, with no answers to shoo them away.

I looked down at my jeans and plain shirt with a grimace. When Edward and I had woken and finally pulled ourselves out of bed to get dressed this morning, he assured me no matter what I wore would be fine. He told me we were just going to be hanging out at his parent's place this afternoon and evening. Despite his assurances—and the fact he was wearing a rock t-shirt and jeans because he could wear rags and make them look amazing—I couldn't help but wish I would have picked something nicer, even though I couldn't think of anything I had that would have been perfect like I felt it needed to be.

"Bella," he said as he stopped the car and turned down the music.

Edward had just pulled off the road onto what appeared to be a long driveway. I was too nervous to look at him; instead I kept my eyes trained on the view outside my window. The peaceful quiet of the forest spilled out around us, blocking the sound and sight of both the road we'd just left behind us and the house I figured had to be somewhere before us.

"Hey, love, look at me," Edward ordered softly, reaching over, gently pulling my chin towards him with his electric touch.

I met his heart-stopping green eyes. The sight of him shot straight to my core. I had to remind myself to focus.

"Remember. Nothing you don't want to do. I mean it and that includes this," he said gesturing towards the house that I knew lay before us somewhere, his eyes earnest with honesty.

"I know," I assured him swallowing back my want. Because I did know that, I just never before wanted so much for someone to approve of me. The feeling was so overwhelming it was making me a little queasy.

"I shouldn't have even asked, it's too soon," Edward apologized in a mumble more to himself than to me after taking in my green complexion. Then more clearly he added, "I'm sorry. We'll go."

"No Edward," I insisted. "I'm fine. I'm _glad_ you asked and I want to meet them. Really, I do."

"Are you sure?" He asked eyeing me skeptically despite the honesty I knew was evident in my voice.

I nodded; taking and blowing out a deep breath.

I was sure. I did want to meet the rest of Edward's family. I wanted to know anything and everything about the _real _him. It was just that I felt like I had a tall order to fill. Thanks to Jess, I knew the long list of leggy, strikingly gorgeous women that were speculated—a few of which were confirmed—to have been in Edward's dating history the past several years. I didn't fit their mold at all. Every last one of them was not one eyelash shy of a brick-solid ten—and that was just basing the comparison on looks alone. It was intimidating to know that—especially when I was well aware that I hovered around a six on a good day. Besides, who knew what kind of amazing things those women had done or accomplished on top of being stunningly gorgeous? I was certain that they probably bested me in education, personality, sense of humor, charity and everything else down the line as well. I still had no clue why Edward even looked twice at me and I was certain that whatever blinded Edward to my flaws and draw to me, wouldn't blind his family.

I was in deep over my head, but yet I stubbornly refused to go up for air.

"Really, Edward. I'm fine. I just don't want them to hate me or think I'm not good enough for you," I assured him with the core of my anxiety.

Edward breathed a laugh and shook his head at me.

"There is no way they could hate you, love or think such an absurd thing. I told you, Bella, they're going to love you," he paused and added cavalierly, "I should know, I'm kind of a reliable source on the subject," he teased, using my own words I'd said to him about missing him. His eyes danced; light and teasing but yet I could see behind the playfulness there was something intense and serious dwelling there.

My breathing hitched and my eyes studied his. My limbs felt light and tingly and my breath let out shakily. My heart raced faster as if it was trying to outrun itself.

I sat there frozen in shock trying to gauge the chances that he meant that the way it sounded. And while Edward's words had immobilized me, my acquired personalities, who didn't surrender to the same shocked stillness, began working fervently. Floozy Bella began her attempts to get me to catapult myself onto Edward so she could have her way with him right then and there—the dirtier the better—while Honesty Bella struggled with my voice box, desperately trying to coerce the actual words from my mouth that Edward seemed to have hinted at once again.

I briefly contemplated the odds that I'd heard him say something that never actually came from his mouth. It wouldn't be the first time that my active imagination had run rampant. I determined that the odds that he'd meant what he had said were not in my favor—at least not the way it sounded.

Edward's expression fell and turned wary as he studied me like he was face to face with a wild animal that he'd just startled and he was afraid any movement would send it running.

"What—?" The word escaped my mouth, my voice quivered lightly and my heart was pounding.

_What the hell was I doing? Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!_

"Yes?" He asked softly still eyeing me warily.

"What do you mean—?" I heard myself begin to ask. The answer to the question terrified me, but I was unable to stop the words because Honesty Bella somehow had succeeded in taking over the reins of my voice box.

_At least she wasn't blurting confessions._ I tried to assure myself.

However, before the question could be completed, Edward's cell phone rang out; distracting Honesty Bella for just a fraction of a second, but long enough for me to regain control and shut her up, saving myself from an answer I most likely didn't want to know. I was a wreck enough as it was, I didn't want to have my embarrassment from putting words into Edward's mouth he never said or meant added to the pile.

I cursed at Honesty Bella and sent thanks to the gods for whoever called Edward in that moment.

Edward ignored the phone, waiting for me to finish my question.

"You should get that," I insisted, looking away from his intensely curious eyes.

Edward looked at me for a beat longer—reluctant to give up finding out what I was going to ask—before he pulled his phone out, let out a sigh of light annoyance when he looked at the screen and put it up to his ear.

"Hey Em, we're almost there."

"I know bro," Emmett's voice carried in a soft buzz from Edward's phone through the silent car. "You're in the driveway. Did you forget Mom and Dad have a buzzer that lets them know when someone is coming up to the house? It went off like ten minutes ago, dude. Want to hurry up your quickie with the spinner? We're all waiting."

Embarrassment flooded me and I could feel a blush start to stain my cheeks.

"We were just talking," Edward exasperatedly protested.

"You don't need to lie to me, bro," Emmett laughed. "No judgment here. I just figured I'd let you know that we know you're here before someone goes wandering down the drive to see if you're okay and finds you naked-ass-up, taking liberties with my favorite little spinner girl."

Oh God. My face just went up in flames. Not only was I meeting Edward's family for the first time, but now they all were now thinking I was screwing him just outside their house. I covered my face with my hands trying vainly to hide from the embarrassment.

_Fantastic._ I thought sarcastically. _What a great first impression._

Knowing it was futile, I looked around for a hole in the woods surrounding us that I could crawl into.

_Nope, no such luck. Crap._

"Thanks for the heads-up Em," Edward said dryly.

"Hey, that's what brothers are for," he said with a hardy laugh.

"We'll be there in a minute," Edward said, signing off, ending the call and then looked over at me. "Sorry about that. You were asking me something?"

"It was nothing," I said shaking my head. Edward might have been sorry for the interruption, but I was eternally grateful for it. "We can talk about it later."

"Why are you blushing?" Edward laughed with confused amusement.

"I could hear Emmett," I confessed.

Edward laughed understanding. "I told you, Em doesn't have a filter," he said and laughed again. "Don't be embarrassed, love. I'm not. Nor would I be if that was what we were actually up to out here."

Edward's eyes danced mischievously then he leaned over, kissing me tenderly. I kissed him back feeling all my worries almost instantly melt away when his lips met mine, like some kind of magic, electric anecdote to my apprehensions that coursed through me until all that remained was Edward and me.

The kiss quickly grew into more until our breathing was heavy and I was on the verge of begging him to take me right there, not caring where we were or who was waiting for us—not with Edward on my lips.

Edward hooked his arm around my hip, pulling me against him with a jerk.

I moaned as my body thrilled and my breathing quickened.

I turned and slid my leg behind him and pulled him over me as I leaned back and our kisses turned more urgent. I couldn't help myself; I wanted him—needed him—right then.

Apparently there was some sliver of exhibitionism in me that I'd never been aware of. I wondered briefly if it was Floozy Bella or a whole other personality I had to tame and keep under control at the reigns.

God help me if they all got out and ran rampant together.

Wait. What was I doing? I couldn't lie for anything. One look at me and they'd know exactly what we were doing out here. Emmett's speculating was one thing, but my poor lying skills confirming it was another. And our relationship being purely physical was not the impression I wanted Edward's parents to have because, while our relationship was an amazingly highly physical one, it was definitely more than that—at least it was for me.

I broke the kiss to catch my breath and regain my thoughts, but it was a challenge given my thought process was still scrambled because I was breathing in large amounts of concentrated Edward scent. I rallied against my severe need to connect with him and spoke.

"We, uh, should, um," I said unable to pull together a full linear statement.

Edward let out a calming breath. "Yeah, you're right," Edward said clearing his throat, sounding reluctant to concede. "We should go before Emmett decides to start making that stroll down the driveway—because he will, if he hasn't started already."

He kissed me again and then pulled back just enough to look at me. He eyed me greedily and licked his lips in want. His expression reminded me of a person forced to put down a book or walk away from a movie right when it was getting really good—regretting having to part with it. Then, his eyes softened, turning wistful and he drew the back of his fingers down the side of my face before kissing me chastely.

"Later," he promised severely; his eyes dark with want; a look that made my body stand at attention. My stomach curled in eager anticipation.

"Definitely later," I agreed, my voice betraying my desire.

"My insatiable Bella," Edward said approvingly as he straightened up. He glanced over at me, catching me still eyeing him wantonly as I righted myself and slid back to my seat.

He smiled and shook his head before he adjusted himself, took a deep breath and resumed down the drive.

Moments later the trees gave way to lush green grass, the house came into view. It was a beautiful stone accented house that somehow managed to appear grand and homey at the same time. It was nestled into the edge of thick trees that separated it from the road and neighbors on the outskirts of Seattle, offering privacy without giving up the convenience the city had to offer. As we drew closer to the house, I noticed that I could see the waterfront sparkling behind it, making it seem all the more surreal in its perfection.

When we got out of the car, Edward took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as we walked up to the door.

"Hey Spinner!" Emmett greeted jovially as he stepped out of the front door with his signature contagious smile.

"Hi Emmett," I smiled nervously and blushed deeply knowing what he thought we were doing—and, well, almost did—in the driveway.

Emmett quickly swooped his arms around me in a big bear hug as he picked me off the ground.

"Have a nice 'chat' out there, Bella?" he asked as he set me back down, flashing a wink and smirked down at me.

I blushed so deeply, I figured I could probably rival the color of a cooked lobster.

"Emmett, leave her alone," Edward pleaded on my behalf.

"What?" Emmett asked innocently.

Edward rolled his eyes at his brother and shook his head as he took my hand back into his. Then he led the way out of the heavy warmth of the afternoon and into the comfortably cool house. Emmett looked out past us to where Edward had parked the car as if hoping to see something. Then he turned and followed us in, looking disappointed.

Something told me he was hoping to see Rose and it made me feel guilty for not telling her what I was up to this weekend because maybe she would have wanted a chance to see Emmett again, despite what she'd said on the plane.

The inside of the home was beautiful, light, open—far nicer than any home I'd ever been in and kind of reminded me of the way I felt seeing Edward's hotel room that first time in that way. But this place was far more inviting and warmly decorated. Much like the house was outside, the inside was grandly decorated, but it was also homey somehow and begged you to curl up on the couch with a good book. Everything was beautiful, light and clean, without leaving a feeling of sterility and coldness in its grandeur.

"We're all out on the deck," Emmett said, pulling me from my gawking and stepped around us, giving Edward a light smack on the shoulder and lead the way through the house.

The reality of the situation seemed to hit me just then; I was really doing this. I was about to meet Edward's parents.

My heart immediately took off, pounding with the thought.

Edward gave my hand another squeeze and looked down at me as if to tell me that it was going to be just fine. I took a deep breath and gave him the best smile I could muster, but it ended up looking more like a grimace than a smile.

He breathed a laugh and headed in the direction Emmett had gone rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand.

We veered to the left of the grand staircase, passing through a large, but cozy sunken living room with a beautifully marbled stone fireplace and a baby grand piano nestled in the corner. I stubbed my toe on one of the two steps that took us out of the living room to where the formal dining table sat that was large enough for eight or ten people.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, as I cried out from the pain.

"Yes, I'm fine," I promised him through gritted teeth. "I do it all the time." I added with a smile trying to hide my embarrassment.

Edward breathed a laugh as he stroked my heated cheek with the back of his fingers.

My breathing hitched as I met his strikingly green eyes.

"Didn't you two get enough in the car?" Emmett's voice boomed with a laugh, surprising me as I hadn't realized he was still in the house with us. "Come on," he added before I heard him open a door letting in the sound of voices and laughter. Then the close of the door muted the sound again.

I blushed deeper and looked at the floor.

Edward slipped his fingers under my chin and tipped my face up, kissed my lips softly and smiled. "Come on, love."

The hardwood flooring of the formal dining room flowed right into a huge kitchen and breakfast seating area. It was then I realized that the entire back wall of the place was covered with huge windows leading out to the deck that overlooked the water.

As warm and welcoming as this place was, I couldn't help but feel like I did not belong here. Did Edward seriously think nothing of my little, run-down apartment when his parents' kitchen alone would swallow my entire apartment whole? I wondered how he had kept a straight face when he told me he liked my place when he was obviously accustomed to grandeur since his parent's house looked like this.

The lavishness pricked at a strange feeling I couldn't shake, a feeling that told me my coming from simple means made it appear to the world that I was just looking to get into Edward's money and fame. I knew neither was in any way true, in fact I would have much preferred the opposite, but the knowledge of the very real potential perception bothered me.

When we walked into the kitchen, I saw them; Emmett leaning against the deck railing, standing by four people I didn't know who were sitting at a table on the deck looking every bit as beautiful as Edward and Emmett, laughing and chatting animatedly. They all looked so perfect, sitting there at this beautiful house overlooking the gorgeous view of the water, that they seemed like they were people handpicked for a commercial—and I knew that whatever they were selling, people would be buying if it meant a life as wonderful as theirs. It was quite intimidating being surrounded by such perfection. Rose was one thing, a house-full of people her caliber was another.

I felt very insignificant in that moment, like there was no way I would ever measure up to them no matter how nice they might have been. I had a hard enough time wrapping my mind around the fact that Edward wanted me around; I didn't think that whatever luck I'd struck with that lottery would spread beyond him.

"Bella?" Edward's velvet voice broke my string of thoughts.

"Hmm?" I asked distantly, having a hard time looking away at the perfect family I was intruding upon as the odd duck that I was—my namesake dubbed me a Swan, but a swan, I was not, Jacob was the one in the family that filled those shoes.

"Look at me," Edward ordered softly again, something I eagerly complied with as soon as I figured how to look away from the people on the deck. The moment I did, I got sucked into his sexy green eyes that shot straight through to my core, making me wish we would have been up to exactly what Emmett had insinuated. Fears of meeting the people on the other side of the glass completely vanished as I swam in Edward's eyes

My tongue dragged across my lips, then realizing what I was doing, I drew my bottom lip into my mouth, trapping it between my teeth.

"You're determined to make this torture on me, aren't you?" he accused, his eyes narrowed as he released my lip from my teeth, but the amusement and want dancing in them gave him away.

"I told you, it's your fault I'm like this," I mumbled.

"Right, my fault," he said with humor as he smiled scratching his cheek with his thumb.

_Dear God._ Torture on him? Torture on me.

Then he cleared his throat and raked his free hand through his hair a few times before he spoke again. "They're going to love you," he said firmly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Trust me," he pleaded earnestly.

I did trust him. I trusted him far more than he realized. So I took a deep breath and nodded, even though it felt like I was being led into a room full of predators.

Edward led me to the door, opening it, letting the happy chatter from the other side spill into the house. Almost as soon as the door was opened, the chattering of voices quieted for the smallest fraction of a second as they all looked to the door and then they erupted loudly with welcomes, voices on top of voices.

I watched as their eyes slid from Edward to me, then from me to our hands clasped together. Various expressions that were gone far too quickly for me to read flashed upon their faces before they all settled into warm smiles. Edward let go of my hand and slipped his along the small of my back—a gesture I was becoming familiar with that seemed protective and made me feel special—and his thumb began drawing small soothing circles and I bit back a hum of contentment.

Edward's parents were the first to come to us, greeting their son with hugs and words of being glad that he'd made it home okay. Then they introduced themselves to me as Carlisle and Esme, both of whom initially went to offer me a hug of welcome, but then offered their hands as if they didn't want to make me uncomfortable by doing so.

Carlisle had blond hair, blue eyes and was the same height as Edward. I was struck with how handsome he was, remarking to myself that he could easily have been a movie star himself. Esme was slender but curvy and besides being very beautiful, she had one of the sweetest, kindest faces I'd ever seen, one of those faces you couldn't help but like the person immediately. She stood a few inches taller than me with caramel brown hair and brown eyes. Both Carlisle and Esme possessed a presence that made me feel immediately at ease and I could feel myself calm down with their warmness.

I took a deep breath thinking maybe I could do this.

The two other people I didn't know had stood from their chairs with smiles of their own waiting to greet us. The tiny woman I assumed to be Edward and Emmett's sister had dark, short spikey hair that was the same color of Emmett's, but reminded me of Edwards in the way that it seemed that each strand had its own personality, and also like how Edward's unruly hair suited him well, the same went for her. She enthusiastically hugged Edward and seemed to be almost jumping up and down with excitement to introduce herself to me, while the man standing next to her was absolutely still, making the pair look slightly comical. The man had wavy, golden blond hair, brown eyes and was slightly taller than Edward and Carlisle. He stood next to the tiny, excited woman calmly with a small smile of amusement on his face.

The very moment Carlisle and Esme left our side to get Edward and me drinks they'd offered us, she wrapped her delicate arms around me in a hug; surprised by her exuberance and strength, she was already letting me go before I could even think to return the gesture.

"Hi Bella," she said as she held herself away at arm's length , her hands resting on my hips, as if to get a better look at me; her wide, enthusiastic smile never left her face. Her smile reminded me of Emmett's in the way that it felt contagious and I found myself smiling back. "I'm Alice, Edward's sister."

I opened my mouth to reply the pleasantry, but Emmett piped in.

"My sister too, but apparently she's not claiming me today," he chortled. "I'm hurt, Pix" he teased flashing a wounded expression at his sister.

Alice turned to Emmett, letting out a tinkling laugh as she stuck her little tongue out at him, and then returned her attention to me. "It's so nice to_ finally_ meet you!" she exclaimed brightly saying it as if she'd been waiting to meet me for years.

I couldn't help but be struck by her emphasis on the word "finally."

I looked quizzically up at Edward, who shrugged his shoulders. I was startled when Emmett laughed loudly before cutting it off by taking a drink of his beer. My gaze moved to him to try to figure out if his laugh had anything to do with our exchange or something else entirely, but was left unsure.

"Bella, this is my husband, Jasper," she continued, drawing my attention back to her, taking a step back and gesturing to the tall man standing just behind her.

"Nice to meet you Bella," he said in a deep voice laced with a soft, smooth, southern drawl as he shook my hand and offered me a warm smile. I wasn't sure if it was because he was standing next to tiny little Alice or because he stood so rigidly straight, but he looked very tall and commanding. Strangely, at odds with his authoritative demeanor, as we shook hands, I felt suddenly at ease.

"Thank you, nice to meet you too, Jasper," I smiled awkwardly despite his calming presence as I could feel all eyes were on me and knew my cheeks had to be flaming red. I hoped their glow could pass as flush from the warmth of the afternoon.

When Carlisle and Esme returned with drinks for Edward and me, Edward guided me to a couple chairs at the table, surrendering his hand from my back to pull out a chair for me before sitting in the one next to it. I barely had grieved the loss of his touch as I sat down, when his free hand settled casually on my thigh.

Very high up on my thigh.

I very poorly attempted to not outwardly react to his touch, but my breathing still let out an audible hitch. In turn I felt my face grow hotter.

If he was trying to distract me from feeling like I was in the spotlight, it worked. While I still feared that the questions would start firing at me, making me feel like I was a prisoner in lockdown getting interrogated, the fact that Edward's very talented hand was only inches from my core was a pretty damn good diversion from that fear. Though now, all I could think about was trying to figure out a way to tie up and gag Floozy Bella so she wouldn't put on a show I was sure neither Edward nor I would want to give to his family.

It turned out my fear of interrogation was for nothing, however, because when we sat down, Alice began chattering, seeming to pick a conversation back up that they'd begun before we arrived, taking my fear of an inquisition away immediately, sending the weight of my anxieties away. Before I knew it, we were all laughing and joking together and I felt like I had known them forever. In fact, I felt like I really clicked with Alice—for some reason she reminded me of Rosalie, though they were nothing alike in looks or personality. I wondered if maybe it was just the simple fact that I'd felt like I clicked with her like I had with Rose or maybe it was the fact that they were both striking in beauty, then again maybe it had to do with the fact that Alice was very fashionable like Rose always had a knack for—I wasn't sure. But I really liked her; she was someone I could see myself becoming friends with.

After a few hours, the guys got the grill going and I attempted to help Esme and Alice in the kitchen, but there wasn't much to do, the table was already set, and most things were all ready to go as soon as the guys had the steaks cooked. It was kind of odd how normal it seemed. I wasn't sure why, but I somehow had gotten it into my head that they would be different than everyone else.

Esme checked the potatoes and put the rolls in the oven while she simmered mushrooms on the stove. Alice chattered while she darted around the kitchen gathering ingredients for a salad I was helping her prepare.

"You have no idea how shocked Carlisle and I were when Edward told us about you," Esme said looking out the kitchen windows at the men out on the deck as she sipped her wine. The comment seemed to be directed to me, though it seemed as if she said the statement more to herself than anyone.

I looked up from the large salad bowl in confusion, as she turned her head to me and she met my eyes.

My heart started pounding and despite how warm she'd been to me all afternoon. I couldn't help but assume this was where she was going to tell me what I already knew; Edward was way out of my league and I didn't deserve him. That fact should have been obvious to the entire world; most certainly Edward's mother would feel I wasn't good enough for him.

"You shouldn't have been," Alice reprimanded her mother chirpy tone as she loped around the kitchen. The way she moved it was almost like she was always on the verge of breaking into a graceful dance move. It was mesmerizing watching her.

Esme laughed. "I know. You intuition very rarely fails you," she said to her daughter indulgently.

Alice flashed her a bright smile.

I looked at them confused; distracted for a moment from expecting to be told I wasn't good enough for her son.

Esme, seeming to catch my confusion, explained.

"Alice has the most reliable intuition I've ever known anyone to have," she smiled turning her body towards us. "Before Edward headed to New York she told him that she had a feeling he'd meet someone there."

Alice looked up at Esme from the cupboard she was looking in. They shared a significant look that I didn't miss. I wondered what it was about but didn't ask; if they wanted me to know, they would have said something aloud to one another instead of a non-verbal exchange.

Then Alice looked back at me adding, "And he told me this was one time I was going to be wrong," Alice laughed again then sighed theatrically, "When will he ever learn?" She beamed.

I couldn't help but laugh along with her contagious laugh. Her personality was so happy and bubbly it was hard not to start feeling that way around her.

"I haven't seen him like this before," Esme said pensively looking at Edward through the window.

My moment of light humor from Alice vanished and I braced myself again for the knock down.

"I think you'll be good for him," Esme said and nodded as if affirming her words. "And I hope he'll be as good for you too, dear," she added, turning to me, smiling kindly. "The career my boys have chosen makes it difficult for relationships to flourish. I know it won't be easy, but give him a fair chance."

Wait. What?

I had been fully expecting her to tell me I wasn't good enough for her son—it wouldn't have been the first time I'd heard it, and this time, it was nothing short of true. Instead, it was as if Esme was giving her approval of our relationship and was hoping it was one that was good for the both of us, not just her son.

My head spun lightly and it wasn't just from the beer I'd been drinking all afternoon. I'd not expected that at all.

Edward came in from the deck with the now empty platter the raw steaks had been on. My breathing hitched taking in how gorgeous he was—something that I never seemed to get used to. Instantly I wanted him. My whole body began to beg for it and the only thing stopping me from pinning him down to the floor in that moment was the fact that his mother and sister were standing right there.

I shifted my weight trying to control the feeling that was coursing through me.

Edward's eyes went darker, easily reading my thoughts, and he gave me a sexy, lopsided grin. He stopped where I stood, placing an electric touch on my back. His honey and sunshine smell crashed over me. It had an edge of crispness to it from spending time outside, and was joined with the smell of beer and grill but it was still all Edward. I could feel the nearness of the length of his body lined up behind mine, almost touching but not quite. His smell and closeness made me have to wrestle Floozy Bella into a locked room to keep her from doing something that would make me never want to face Edward's family again and definitely would rescind the approval of me his mother just seemed to have given me.

"How are you doing?" he murmured softly, into my ear.

Oh God I wanted him. My breathing became shallow and disjointed in my efforts to not grin on him like a five dollar whore in front of his sister and mother.

I nodded to let him know I was fine; fearing if I spoke all that would come out was a throaty moan.

Edward rubbed a couple soothing circles into my back with his thumb and then left my side. It was only then I realized I'd closed my eyes. I opened them and took an unsteady breath that I knew couldn't have escaped the ears of the room's other occupants. I felt my face redden and I kept my gaze studiously on the salad as Edward went to the sink and washed the platter. On his way back with the now clean dish, he stopped by my side again. This time putting his hand on my hip, hooking his thumb in under my top and pressed against my bare skin.

Oh dear God.

My heart raced and I could hear Floozy Bella shouting from the room she was locked up in, begging Edward to slip his hand lower.

"Breathe Bella, they don't bite," he mock whispered, a smile evident in his voice.

Edward's breath wafted across my face, giving me a concentrated dose of his scent that both calmed me and turned me on even more at the same time. Then he rubbed his thumb against my skin a few times before he walked back outside.

I looked up trying to hide how forcefully Edward affected me and act as normal as possible. My poor acting skills apparently didn't work on them either because both were trying to stifle smiles making my cheeks flame even more hotly than they already had been burning.

I was so going to have to get back at him for that because I knew he'd done it on purpose.

XXXXX

I opened my suitcase that Edward had just laid on the bed for me as he shut the door to the room and returned to my side.

"Are you sure you're alright with this, love?" he asked snaking his arms around me from behind.

When Edward told his parents we were going to head to the hotel he'd booked for us to stay in Seattle for the night and be back in the morning, Esme tried convincing Edward for us to stay here. Carlisle tried to interject that we might have wanted to have a "quiet" night alone, making me blush, but the subtle mention wasn't caught by her. It seemed to me that Edward's insistence on going was more out of concern for my comfort and not getting a reprieve from his family than anything else, so I settled it telling them we'd stay. I knew Edward didn't get a lot of free time, so I figured that meant he didn't get to see his family too much. I didn't want to do anything that would pull him away from the family I'd both heard him speak of and saw him interact with such affection. I didn't want to be something that drove him away from them, especially since I already adored them all so much myself.

"I told you, Edward, it's fine," I smiled telling him truthfully.

I leaned back into him and letting out a hum of contentment as he dipped his head and began gliding his hands along the curve of my waist as he kissed along the underside of my jaw and down my neck.

My breathing quickly became heavy. I could feel my body fill with need, stemming from each point Edward's body touched mine and reached out to fill the rest of me then curled back deliciously into him. The parts of me that weren't receiving a concentrated dose of Edward began to protest, begging for his touch and attention—some parts more strongly than others.

"Is it still fine, knowing the things I wanted to do to you when we were alone in our own hotel room?" Edward asked in a deep, seductive voice that made my toes curl.

"Mmm? What sort of things?" I asked, my curiosity piqued as I felt my body try to stand even further at attention for him.

"I guess you're just going to have to wait to find out another time," he purred as he slipped a hand inside my shirt and began massaging my breast.

My breathing tripped over itself as I exhaled. I could feel his smile against my neck.

"Are you saying you can't do them here?" I managed to ask breathlessly, and then pointed out, "We are alone in this room."

"Hmmm," Edward replied as if considering my question as he expertly pulled open the button on my jeans and began guiding the zipper down.

My body completely forgot how to take a fluid breath in or out; both were now coming in intervals of short, staccato breaths.

"Well, I _could_," he continued reaching into my underwear, sliding his hand down until it curved, sliding along my sex.

I let out a moan.

"But I figured you might find_ that_ to be a problem," he said nibbling my ear as one of his capable fingers teased, pushing just past my threshold.

"What problem?" I asked in a loud throaty moan, leaning my head back against his shoulder as I reached back sliding my fingers into his soft, unruly bronze hair and grabbed a fistful of it. I couldn't think of one single problem with what was going on.

I felt Edward's breath hit my neck in short bursts and his chest shake in a silent chuckle.

"Nothing apparently, I just figured you would mind knowing that they could hear you. But if you don't mind, I certainly don't." He admitted kissing my neck with more ardor.

For a brief moment, I sank into him luxuriating in the feel of his body lined up against mine through our clothes; the feel of his body pressing against mine, showing me that I turned him on too; the blissful sensation of his hands on me—in me.

Then, his words caught up to me and I froze.

Edward noticed the change immediately.

"What's the matter?" he asked as he froze his body too, as if afraid he'd done something. I heard him swallow loudly waiting for my answer.

"Are you serious?"

"About what?"

"That they can hear us."

"Well, I don't know for certain. But if they couldn't hear you just now, they'll definitely hear you when you come for me," his grin evident in his voice, sounding eager, as he pulled me firmly against him again and ran his nose along the length of my neck.

My cheeks flamed and my heart picked up speed as chagrin flooded me and I swallowed loudly.

"I'm loud?" It sounded stupid saying it aloud, but it was the only question I could form through my apprehension.

Edward breathed an indulgent laugh through his nose. "Well since _you've_ been present through every one of your sexual experiences and in turn every orgasm, I would have thought you'd know the answer to that question, but yes, you're quite vocal."

I was? I tried to remember making noise or not, but all I could remember was how completely fantastic Edward always made me feel.

"Bella?" Edward asked, removing his hands from me and turning me around to face him.

I cast my eyes down in mortification of this information that was news to me. Edward tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him.

"What's the matter, love?" he asked, concern flooding his shockingly green eyes.

"I didn't know I—" my sentence cut off and I diverted my eyes away from his. I couldn't even say it I was so embarrassed though I wasn't entirely sure why. "I'm sorry," I apologized not sure what else to say.

"Sorry?" Edward asked affronted, stooping his face to make me look at him.

The sound of James' dog-like panting and loud pig-like grunts repeated itself over and over in my head making my stomach knot. It was a sound I was both disgusted by, but yet eagerly awaited for because it meant the chore of sex would be nearly done.

The sound twisted in my mind with a mental image of me and became the sound that came from my mouth when I came.

Ugh God no!

"Bella, why on earth would you be _sorry_? For making noise?" Edward asked sounding bewildered. "Love, look at me, please," he begged. Begrudgingly, I complied. "I _love_ the sounds you make. I told you, watching you come undone is the most erotic thing I've ever seen. I wasn't lying. And the _sounds_ you make when you do are part of that. The sounds that escape your mouth every time I touch you—it drives me crazy with how sexy it sounds, especially knowing _I_ was the reason for them. Don't be sorry for it, love. Hearing how hard I make you come is a huge turn-on."

I looked up at him, eyeing him doubtfully.

"They're my favorite sounds, Bella," he insisted drawing a finger down the side of my face. "I can't tell you how many times the past couple weeks I played them over and over in my mind. Just the thought of them—" he trailed off, closing his eyes, making a contented hum of a sound. "I just figured you would be opposed to _sharing_ those sounds with my family."

"Is it too late to change my mind and head to the hotel?" I asked and watched Edward's eyes grow darker as they filled with lust.

"No, it's not," Edward assured me and I swore I felt his dick twitch.

I stood there staring into his want-filled eyes, returning it back to him two-fold. But then sighed in defeat; as much as I wanted to go to the hotel—and dear God did I want to—I'd already committed to staying there for the night.

"No. We already told your parents we'd stay here. They miss you, we should stay," I said.

Damn me and my need to follow through with commitments.

"It's not like they're spending time with me right now. This is my time with _you_ and _I _miss _you_, Bella," he said slowly sliding his fingers down the length of my body, teasing me through my jeans.

My breath let out sharply in want and drew back in unsteadily. "I don't think I can wait that long," I admitted, swallowing back a pant. "Maybe I could be quiet," I pondered as I stroked the soft-rough whiskers on his face.

"You think you can?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

"You'd be amazed with the things I can do," I quipped in rebuttal meeting his eyes.

"Oh Bella, I already am," he confessed, swiftly closing the distance between our lips kissing me with ardor and then began pulling my clothes from my body.

* * *

**See you soon. Until then, let me know what you think.**


	20. Chapter 20 Family Bonding

**Thank you to all the readers, reviewers, rec'ers (yeah, yeah not a real word, whatever), people who have this on alerts and favorites. And thank you to the wonderful MC for never failing to amaze me.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. This all human version of events, however, is mine.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Family Bonding**

"Good morning," Alice chirped with a sly grin that made me blush deeply as Edward and I walked into the kitchen. I tried to tell myself I was just being paranoid, but even in my head it sounded like a lie.

"Good morning, Alice," Edward smirked unabashedly at her in return.

"Good morning," I mumbled back averting my eyes to the floor.

We should have gone back to the hotel.

I had tried to keep quiet since we were in the same house as Edward's parents, sister and brother-in-law, and succeeded to some extent, but with the things Edward was capable of, it was like trying to keep my heart from beating—I just couldn't control it.

Having it just brought to my attention, I could hear my heavy breathing, deep moans, whimpers and gasped oaths that escaped my mouth without command with each of his touches last night—things that, until then, I'd thought had only been admitted in my head. I had tried with some success to stifle my reactions to him to soft gasps and breaths, but when we came undone together, the sensation was so strong, it rocked through my entire body, lighting it on fire. So despite my efforts, I couldn't keep myself silent and in the moment I didn't care much who heard me.

Now, outside of that moment, however, I cared. A lot. And my cheeks were lit on fire as a result.

Thankfully, however, it appeared Edward's parents hadn't been privy to the sounds coming from Edward and my room last night because their morning greetings seemed completely devoid of awkwardness or knowing smiles. I felt myself relax a bit as I poured myself a coffee—Edward's sister and brother-in-law hearing us was one thing, his parents were another.

Emmett returned to the house just after we finished lunch. His usual boisterous disposition seemed further exaggerated than usual. When I had an opportunity to, I asked Edward if he knew where Emmett had gone the night before.

"I'm not sure, he never said," Edward admitted. "But if I were to venture a guess, I'd say he went to see your friend to try to change her mind."

"I was wondering that too," I agreed hopefully. "He looks happier than usual, so maybe he did change her mind."

I smiled at the thought for reasons both selfish and selfless; I wanted Rose to be happy and I honestly felt that Emmett, given the chance, could maybe do that, but also, a captivating image crossed my mind. It was one of Rose and I both sitting here, at this house together with Edward and Emmett and their family. I saw us all gathered on the deck, talking and laughing. The image came with an intense feeling of sheer joy, like the way a favorite memory felt when it came to mind—everything right, perfect and wonderful, making me want badly for it to happen.

"Yeah, maybe," Edward said pensively before meeting my eyes. "Why did she really tell Emmett she didn't want to see him again after you two went home?" he asked; his eyes wide and earnest.

"When I'd asked her why, she told me it was because she has to think about Henry and not just what she wants," I told him honestly and then added, "I think she feels like she failed him when she and Royce couldn't make their marriage work, so now she's making it a point to think about Henry first when it comes to getting into another relationship. I guess I don't fully understand it since I don't have kids, but I think she's just trying to look out for him, and trying to put Henry's needs before her own."

Edward just nodded, absorbing the information I'd given him.

"You ready to go?" Carlisle asked Edward with an enthusiastic smile as he approached us.

The guys were going to go out fishing and Carlisle seemed beyond excited at the prospect of an afternoon with his sons and son-in-law. Apparently it was something that didn't happen often.

"Yeah, let's go," Edward smiled at his father and then turned back to me as Carlisle walked away. He tipped my chin up with his hand and slipped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him.

I had to fight the urge to pin him against the wall.

"Are you going to be okay, love?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll be fine, Edward," I assured him with a smile and a roll of my eyes. "It's not like they bite," I added teasingly, using his words from the day before.

Edward breathed an amused chuckle as he closed the distance and gave me an all-too-brief kiss.

"I'll see you in a little while," he said and kissed me again before joining the guys who were packing up the last of the items before heading out onto the water.

Alice and Esme had decided they wanted to spend the afternoon shopping while the men were out, mentioning something about finding new dresses. Even though shopping wasn't exactly something I particularly enjoyed, I didn't know what I would have done alone at the house and it seemed rude to decline when they asked me to go with them, so I tagged along.

"Bella?" Alice sang, drawing me out of my peaceful collective of Edward musings I delved myself into to keep myself entertained, while watching the two women happily shop.

"Hmm?" I replied reluctant to leave the memory of Edward the other night in my apartment, playing me the now completed song he'd played the start of at his hotel room in New York. The sound of his voice, singing the words was incredible and the lyrics he'd written were powerful.

"You _have _to try this dress on," she insisted shoving a beautiful deep red dress into my hands.

I felt myself make a face as I shook my head. While the dress was beautiful, red was a bold, racy color that drew attention, and attention was something I didn't want to attract if at all possible—I had never felt comfortable in the spotlight, and it wasn't a good place for me given my ungraceful nature. Besides, red was not a color just anyone could pull off, it was made for someone like Rosalie.

"Thanks Alice, but I don't need a dress," I replied handing it back to her.

"Please Bella? Trust me; it will look amazing on you. It would be an injustice to the masterpiece this dress is if you didn't even at least try it on," Alice pressed giving me doe eyes.

I sighed in submission taking it from her, parting the fabric to see if the dress she grabbed was the right size.

"It'll fit," Alice assured me. "I have a knack for sizes; it's kind of an occupational necessity. Now go," she said looking like she was about to burst with anticipation as she shooed me into a fitting room.

"I thought _you_ were looking for a dress, Alice," I called to her on the other side of the door as I dutifully pulled off my clothes.

"I am, but sometimes, dresses find you," she sang back excitedly.

I slipped the dress over my body feeling silly in the "look at me" color and a bit naked with the length only dropping to my mid-thigh. It fit snugly around my chest and ribcage and then where the skirt took over, it flared out a little. It was sexy, fun and flirty—and completely not me.

"Here. Put these on with it," she said shoving a pair of shoes under the dressing room door. They were red like the dress with high, narrow heels and had long ribbons flowing from them.

"What do I—?" my question broke off because I was so confused I didn't even know what to ask about how to work the things.

"Open the door and I'll show you," she instructed, sounding like she was about to open a Christmas present.

I complied, letting her in. Immediately she crouched down, slipped the shoes on me and began expertly guiding the ribbons around my feet and finished by tying them into a perfect bow at the ankle. When she'd finished with both, she stood, eyeing me up and down, taking in the whole look; her face lit up excitedly.

"Well? What do you think?" She asked stepping back toward me, slipping her hands around my waist, tying a wide ribbon around me that I hadn't noticed was there. Then she stepped back to look me over again, now that the final touch was in place and waited excitedly for my reaction to my reflection.

I glanced in the mirror and shrugged. It was a red dress.

Alice let out a light, exasperated sigh and pulled me out of the changing room, out into a larger, raised area that had several mirrors on all sides of me, letting me see myself from every angle. Then she gestured to the mirrors as if asking, "how about now?"

"It's nice," I said, the statement coming out like a question, knowing another shrug of my shoulders wasn't going to be an acceptable answer.

I felt like I was out with Rosalie, one of the first few times we went clothes shopping together, all over again. She kept trying to get me excited about things, but I just couldn't see the appeal.

"Bella," the memory of Rose's annoyed voice played in my head as I stood in front of mirrors similar to the one I was standing in front of now. "_Look_ at your ass! Those jeans make it look fuck-hot. They hug your ass like they're wrapping themselves around a twenty carat diamond. How can you remain indifferent seeing that in the mirror? They make your butt look so good there is no way I'm letting you walk out of here without them. I would kill to have jeans make my ass look anywhere near that good."

I laughed inwardly. I could see Alice and Rosalie definitely getting along.

"I'm not really a dress person," I explained to her, scrunching my face, hoping she'd understand my lack of enthusiasm for something she deemed to be something appropriate to fawn over. "Or much of a shopping person in general, so—"

"But in the pictures of you in New York, you were wearing dresses," Alice insisted.

"Courtesy of Rosalie," I quipped with a laugh.

Alice gave me a look of confusion.

"My friend, I was in New York with," I clarified, but when her expression didn't change, I explained further. "She takes it upon herself to use me as her own life-sized paper dress-up doll, since I apparently lack fashion sense and am content in comfy jeans and an old, ratty t-shirt. Those dresses were all but forced on me."

"What girl doesn't like to _shop_?" Alice breathed sounding confused and horrified at the same time.

"Apparently I'm living proof that it is a mythical creature that does in fact exist," I said giving her a small smile that asked for forgiveness for something she obviously found terrible to consider a reality.

I watched her expression change. It was almost as if I could see her mind drop the horrid thought of a girl not embracing fashion and pick up another.

"What's Rosalie like?" Alice asked sounding casual, fiddling with the ribbon around my waist even though it was already tied perfectly. Despite her cavalier façade, I could see the intense curiosity burning behind it and I wondered if Edward and I were right, that Emmett had snuck off to see Rose the night before without explanation.

I had texted Rose this morning asking how her weekend was and if she wanted to join me for pizza over at my parents' house the following night hoping she'd mention it, but all she said was it was fine and that she and Royce were taking Henry somewhere so she couldn't make it for pizza. I didn't want to flat out ask her about Emmett in case that wasn't where he went. But despite her lack of confirmation, I still thought my gut feeling was right on, especially when she had tacked on a comment to have fun with Edward. When I asked her how she knew, all she said was that she had her sources and warned me that if Jess found out she might be trolling the streets of Seattle looking for him.

I returned my mind back to the present and tried to think about how to correctly describe what Rose was like to Alice.

"Well, you wouldn't have any trouble getting _her_ excited about shopping," I began with a laugh and earned a smile from Alice. "I'm sure you saw pictures of her and Emmett in New York," I ascertained.

Alice nodded.

"Okay, so I'll skip the fact that she's unfairly beautiful." I paused trying to think of how to explain Rosalie. "Rose is… a very upfront person, she thinks it's always better to get it out there; no guessing, no games, no filter," I laughed. "Usually people are put off by her brashness, but it's one of the things I like best about her, because with her, I've never had to wonder if she's telling me what she really thinks or if she really likes me. And while she won't win popularity contests because people misconstrue her upfront personality as just being a bitch, the few people she does surround herself with couldn't ever find a better or more loyal friend." I paused trying to figure out how to explain my best friend, because I didn't feel like I was saying any of it right. I let out a deep sigh of frustration. "I don't know, I guess, I can't articulate her very well. Rosalie is just….Rose…..she's one of a kind; special."

"She has a kid?" Alice asked after a beat of silence, though it was more of a prompt then a question.

"An absolutely adorable little boy named Henry," I confirmed with a nod and a smile. "She and her ex-husband had him when they were still together," I told her and waited for her to elaborate on where she was going with the question or follow up with another one, but she didn't do either. Instead her expression glassed over as if she was looking through me, turning over the information she'd just gathered with whatever information she already knew about her from her brothers.

"Oh Bella!" Esme gasped, her voice made me jump as it intruded my quizzical stare at Alice. "You should definitely get that one, because that dress is absolutely lovely on you, dear."

"Isn't it though? I was just telling Bella the same thing!" Alice pulled out of her trance and smiled brightly at her mother.

"Thank you," I blushed with the attention, wondering how close the shade of my cheeks were to the deep red color of the dress I donned. "But as nice as this dress is, I don't need one, so I'll have to pass," I said as I stepped off the raised platform in front of the mirrors; adding in my head that I really couldn't afford to spend the money anyway. Then I flashed them both a small smile and headed back to the partitioned area to change back into my beloved t-shirt, jeans and sneakers that waited for me there.

We continued shopping for the rest of the afternoon, and both Alice and Esme found several things to purchase. By the time we got back to Esme and Carlisle's house, the men, back from fishing, were playing two-on-two basketball on the half-court; Emmett and Jasper against Edward and Carlisle. I couldn't help but stop and stare at Edward in a tank-top and shorts as I helped Alice and Esme carry in their spoils. His skin glistened with sweat from the game they'd been playing, highlighting his defined arms and shoulders. I watched as they all laughed and harassed one another in camaraderie with the friendly but aggressive game.

"Have fun shopping?" Edward called breathlessly with a smile, picking up the basketball and resting it between his arm and side as the guys took a break from the game. The sound flashed a memory of Edward's voice just after a particularly vigorous session in my apartment the other day.

I clenched my legs together.

"Yeah it was nice," I called back watching the smirk spread across Edward's face knowing how little I enjoyed shopping.

"Looks like you found some things," he raised an eyebrow with curiosity.

"No," I laughed. "None of these are mine," I corrected holding up the bags.

I heard both Carlisle and Jasper let out theatrical groans taking in the load I was carrying, each probably figuring at least half to be their spouses while Emmett let out a boisterous laugh.

"Oh come on," Alice goaded the men, "don't pretend you don't like seeing us looking all beautiful for you." Then she smiled widely and followed Esme into the house.

I gave a shrug and smiled as I moved to follow the pair. Edward laughed and re-engaged himself in the game.

After a drink with Esme and Alice on the deck, I took a quick shower to shave my legs and then went to the guest room Edward and I slept in to get changed for our night out. When I walked into the room, next to my dress I'd lain out to wear, I saw two boxes lying stacked on the bed. Both of them were wrapped in beautiful, red, silky, satin ribbons, adorned with large, perfectly tied bows. Curious, I looked at the thick rectangular piece of paper lying on the top box.

_Bella,_

_My mom and I agreed that this dress needed to be yours—it really did look stunning on you. I know Edward will agree, so you're not allowed to be mad at me for buying it for you. Think of it as a thank you gift for enduring a day of shopping—Edward told me not to make you go. But I hope you had a little fun—maybe even enough to come with me again sometime?_

_Love, Alice_

I shook my head and smiled, realizing Alice must have slipped it in here when I was in the shower. I let out a sigh of annoyance as I set down the note and fingered the soft ribbon on the box, thinking it was far too much of a gift to give someone—I'd seen the outrageous price tag of the dress, I didn't even want to know what the shoes cost. But then, despite my light petulance, I found myself having to wipe the corner of my eyes from the emotion that filled me from the gesture of welcome and acceptance the gift represented and I felt the fear I'd had about Edward's family liking and accepting me begin to relax and fade.

My first reaction though still was to refuse the exorbitant gifts. It was far too expensive and I didn't need anything that excessive, much less yet another dress in my closet I'd never wear again. But then I thought better of it. If the gift represented Alice and Esme's welcome and approval, I didn't want to reject it, making myself seem rude or ungrateful because their acceptance was what I was hoping against all hope for.

I took a deep breath and moved across the room to sit in front of the vanity as I turned over the kindness and generosity the women had just bestowed upon me, not quite believing it to be real. I brushed on some make-up, darkening my eyes a bit for the evening out, and then added some blush and lip gloss. I then tamed my hair until it flowed in soft waves that cascaded down my back. Finally, I slipped on the dress, but I struggled with the ribbon-tied shoes, not being able to tie them perfectly like Alice had at the store.

Giving up, I pulled them off, padded down the hall and knocked on Alice's bedroom door, hoping she was in there to help me.

"I can't get the ribbons," I admitted sheepishly, holding up the shoes when Alice came to the door looking remarkable in her new silver slip dress.

"You're wearing it!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up as gave an excited clap and began bouncing up and down with excitement. Then she quickly pulled me into her room and helped me with the shoes.

"Thank you, for this Alice. Really, this is too much, you didn't need to—" I began but she cut me off.

"Nonsense. If anything, it's not enough," she insisted swiftly finishing one bow and moving to the other.

Not enough? Was she serious?

"I know you don't have a means of comparison," Alice continued, "but for the rest of us, it's blaringly obvious the change in Edward since he met you. My mom has worried more and more that he was too wrapped up in his career to ever let anyone in. She was afraid he'd never have someone," Alice said as she stood up. "I don't think you realize how taken he is with you." She added, fixing the tie around my waist, molding it into a perfect bow to match the ones she'd tied on the shoes.

I went to let out a laugh that was meant to counter her words, but it lost power when I caught the expression Alice wore on her face, and no sound escaped. I looked away, pretending to examine her handiwork as I tried to absorb her comment, but I couldn't seem to. It was like pouring a glass of water on a table and expecting the table to soak it in, but instead it just sat there lying on the surface, refusing to budge.

"You look perfect," Alice said breaking the silence, taking me by the shoulders and turning me to a full-length mirror in the room. "It'll be the best present he gets—he's going to love it."

Present?

"Ali?" a deep southern drawl called accompanied by a knock at the bedroom door. "Can I come in? Or did you ladies need a minute?"

"Come in Jasper," Alice called. "We're decent."

"That would be a first for you, Ali," Jasper drawled with a laughed as he walked into the room and locked his gaze on Alice.

I immediately felt like I was intruding; the intense way they eyed one another told me it was my cue to leave. I quickly thanked Alice for her help with the shoes and scooted out of the room, skirting across the hall to the bedroom Edward and I were staying in, causing me to nearly fall in my haste.

Catching myself on the doorframe, I righted myself and closed the door behind me. Then I walked over to the mirror and attempted to look at myself objectively; trying to see what Alice was saying about me in the dress. I stared at myself for a long time, trying to ignore the fact that it was me and pretend I was looking at someone else. After a while, I could see that the deep color of the dress did look striking set against the porcelain skin, flushed cheeks, dark eyes and dark brown hair. And in the brief moments I could disconnect the reflection from being my own, I could almost see what she'd meant. I could see in those flickers where I was able to turn my reflection into an unknown woman staring back at me, that she looked really quite pretty—beautiful even. But then, faster than she appeared, she turned back into me again and all I saw was my unsure, awkward self, trying not to look nearly as uncomfortable as I felt in a dress and heels.

Sigh.

I began tying my hair up, trying to decide if it looked better that way or down when the bedroom door opened. I jumped lightly from being jarred out of my reverie, dropping my hair in the process as it unfolded itself and swung against my shoulders and back.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called. He began saying something else, but he cut off whatever it was he was going to say, stopping mid-word when I looked over my shoulder and our eyes met. His face was cleanly shaved; the stubble gone. His sexy, defined jaw lay exposed and somehow it was more distracting than before with the rugged stubble. Edward's bronze hair was more unruly than usual; looking like a towel was thoroughly rubbed through it and was still wet, darkening the color to a deep auburn shade. He donned all black, from his collared shirt to his shoes and he looked striking; the sight of him shot through me. I watched with a thrill of satisfaction as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly at the sight of me before he recovered, cocking his head to the side and flashed me a crooked smile.

Edward closed the door behind him and eyed me wantonly.

"Now _you_, love, look like a present I can't wait to unwrap," Edward said in a low, voice that made me squirm a little before I could collect my thoughts enough to comment on his bare face and was distracted from the thought when his words caught up to me.

"What do you mean, 'present'?" I asked distracted by the term I'd just heard from Alice and now again.

Edward walked over to me, his vision seeming singular almost like a predator honed in on its prey. I felt my body thrill and warm with eager anticipation with his drawing closeness.

"You're all wrapped up in bows," Edward said with a smile playing with the bow at my waist. "I like it; it's very sexy," he said, want coloring the tone of his voice. "But I thought you said you didn't get anything today," he pointed out sliding his hands down around the curve of my waist and then firmly clasping my hips in each one, sending a rush of want coiling through me, concentrated in the area between where his warm hands held me.

"I didn't. Alice, however, did for me," I said looking up at him, giving him a small smile. My eyes felt torn, they wanted to swim in his deep emerald eyes, stare at his soft, full lips and ogle his naked jawline. They flickered between the three, unable to decide which one was the best.

For some reason, my simple explanation took him by surprise.

"Alice bought you the dress?" he asked as if he didn't quite believe he'd heard me right.

"Apparently," I reiterated. "Or Alice and your mom, I'm not completely certain. But Alice made me try this on at the store. I humored her, but told her I didn't need a dress and then we continued shopping. I thought the subject was dropped, but apparently she felt I needed to have it because when I came in here to get ready, it was lying on the bed with a note from her." I said gesturing to the ribbons of satin and open boxes on the bed. "Why?"

"Let's just say that," Edward paused, pulling the back of his fingers softly down the side of my face. I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into his hand as it opened for me as he slid his fingers into my hair, "if you were still worried about what they think of you, don't, because they wouldn't have done something like this if they didn't love you."

I hummed lightly with the feel of Edward's hands running through my hair.

"I'm going to have to thank her for it myself, because I've only seen you in it for about ten seconds and I'm already fighting the urge to have my way with you right now," Edward breathed.

I opened my eyes and eyed him wantonly.

"It's not nice to tease me with something you have no intention to follow through on," I insisted, feeling light with confidence fed by his statement that rarely filled me. I wondered briefly if somehow the bold color of my dress was affecting me by making me more brazen.

Edward let out a sound that was like a growl and sigh combined. I could feel it spiral through me, making me want him all the more.

"Don't think I'm not serious," he warned.

"On the contrary, I'm hoping you're dead serious," I confessed.

It definitely had to be the red dress because I didn't know where else this would have been coming from. But whatever it was, I liked it.

Edward's eyes snapped to mine, no doubt just as surprised by my sudden assertiveness as I was. When I looked back into his, letting him know I was indeed as serious as my words. I found his green eyes looked carnal, wild and full of desire. It sent a wave of wanting excitement through and left me wanting more.

I didn't have a chance to say anything further, the next thing I knew Edward had me pinned against the wall, sending a spike of want to shoot through me. He ground against me intensifying the sensation. One of my legs rose on its own accord, trying to wrap itself around him; to hold him to me. Edward grabbed it, wrapping it around him and then pulled up the other, suspending me, pinning me against the wall, pressing himself firmly against me, against my sex letting me feel just how hard and ready for me he already was.

I moaned with the feeling, unable to stop the sound from escaping my mouth, but Edward was faster. He cut off the noise with his mouth and brushing his tongue to mine, letting me taste him, keeping my mouth too preoccupied to release my moans of ecstasy into the air.

I reached down, trying to undo his pants, but had trouble; my body was in the way. Edward, realizing this, carefully dropped my legs, standing me upright, allowing me to succeed in my quest. His pants dropped to the floor as he slipped his hands up under the skirt of my dress, his hands sliding up my thighs then inward to my core. His fingers hooked my underwear, pulling them to the side, exposing my sex and dragged them along the outside of me, teasing.

"Edward. Please," I begged breathlessly against his lips as I pushed his boxer briefs out of the way; freeing him. I couldn't take any more; I needed to have him in me.

Edward grabbed ahold of my thigh when a series of knocks came from the door.

"Edward? Bella?" Alice's voice sang from the other side.

_No!_ I whined in my head._ Go away. Please just go away._

Edward continued to kiss me, ignoring the interruption, his mouth travelling from my lips and down my neck.

"Edward, I know you're in there," Alice called again with a playfully annoyed tone. "We have to get going if we want to make our reservation."

He pulled his mouth from my neck and dropped his forehead to the wall, hitting it lightly a few times and then took a deep breath to settle himself. I did the same dropping mine against the crook of his chest.

"Fuck," Edward let out a with soft growl.

"Yeah," he called a little too breathless to pull off as casual. "We'll be ready in a minute.

"I'm holding you to that," she called with a laugh.

"Annoying little pixie," Edward mumbled under his breath.

Then he sighed and pulled his head away from the wall to look at me.

"It's probably for the best," Edward said in a husky voice, slipping his finger into my underwear to slide them back in place. My eyes closed and I bit back a moan. "I just realized I forgot to pull out any 'Bella Emergency Kits' from my bag before I stowed it away in the car a few minutes ago and I don't have any on me. Because tonight, I want you all to myself so we're staying at the hotel." He smirked.

"'Bella Emergency Kits'?" I asked confused, distracted from Edward telling me we would be all alone tonight as I watched him redress, wishing the clothes were being shed rather than added.

"Condoms," he explained with a chuckle, kissing the tip of my nose and then refastened his belt.

When he looked back up at me from his belt, his expression turned confused. He reached up and released my lip from my teeth; something I hadn't realized I was doing.

"What is it, Love?"

"Nothing," I told him.

Edward flashed me a withering look that told me he didn't buy it.

"Really, it's fine. We can talk about it later," I said, thinking about Edward's family waiting for us.

"Bella, tell me," he pleaded, locking his hypnotizing, green eyes with mine, coercing the truth from me with their powers.

"Well, it's just, I am on the pill," I said knowing he knew this already having seen me take them this weekend. "And I don't have anything," I continued, loving and hating that I was powerless against the drug Edward's eyes emitted. I could feel myself blush, but didn't know why. "I mean, I don't expect you to take my word for it, so I could get re-tested and everything. But if you don't either and if it is just you and me, we don't have to—"

"What do you mean _if_ it's just you and me?" Edward snapped angrily, obviously offended by the suggestion that I would even entertain the thought that he might be indulging himself with anyone else. "Bella, you _know_ it is. I told you that," Edward said severely.

I nodded biting my lip and dropped my eyes. Yes, he had told me that.

_Yeah, James told you that too,_ someone in my head piped up snidely. I quickly shoved the thought back; tonight wasn't the time to rehash all of that.

"Love, look at me," he pleaded, his tone softened, the edge gone. Then when I didn't comply he placed his fingers under my chin, gently lifting it up so I would look at him again. "I hate it when you won't let me look into your eyes," he explained. "I love your eyes," he paused trailing soft caresses along my face and neck. My heart fluttered warmly. "Don't hide them from me," he requested.

"As far as getting re-tested, if you feel it's necessary to go in again, do it, but I believe you," he continued. "You're not exactly an expert liar."

He laughed lightly.

"And as for going without a condom," he continued, "you have no idea how much I _want _to with you," he said, his voice dropping into a wantonly carnal growl at the end of the statement that made my stomach flip in the most delicious way. "I don't have anything either, but that probably has something to do with the fact that I've never once wavered on using them. Though for your peace of mind I'd be happy to go in for you. But using condoms is something my parents engrained in us to _always _use, without exception. And when you have a doctor for a father, he can share some pretty horrifying stories of the countless reasons to make sure to use them that would scare even the most obstinate person into using them religiously. As a result, I became a bit paranoid about it. So, while it's good to know you're putting it out there as an option and despite how badly I want to, it's difficult for me to get past my reservations."

I nodded in understanding because I did understand, but yet I couldn't stop the feeling of rejection as it washed over me. Logically I knew it was silly to react such a way, but my emotions were not the best of friends with the analytical side of my brain and they more often than not, conflicted with one another.

"I have a feeling we'll get there, love," he said with a soft smile and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "Just give me some time."

"Kay," I said softly with a nod and a small smile before I gave him a kiss in return.

Then I straightened up; pulling myself from the wall I was still leaning against and walked over to the vanity to make sure I didn't look like Edward and I had done what we nearly had. I pulled my brush through my hair, hoping my natural waves would look good enough because I didn't have time to do anything with it now. Then, I put the dress I had planned to wear and the other few things I'd had out of my suitcase back into it and zipped it shut.

Belatedly I remembered the note from Alice. I quick scooped it up and slipped it into the front pocked of my bag, not exactly sure why I wanted it, but just that I felt like I needed to have it.

Edward watched me curiously, as I stuffed the card in my bag, but didn't comment.

"Ready?" Edward asked, grabbing ahold of my suitcase.

"Yes," I replied scanning the room.

Edward swiftly pulled the suitcase off the bed.

"So what is the occasion we're going out tonight for anyway?" I asked curiously. "You never did tell me."

Edward squinted his eyes like he didn't want to say or was afraid of my reaction, only making me all the more curious to know.

"Why do you look like you are going to tell me that you're moving half-way around the world?" I asked and as the words left my lips, my heart wrung painfully at the thought of him on the other side of the world, with any amount of permanence.

Edward laughed sounding relieved. "No, love, I'm not moving away. It's nothing like that. It's just—. We're getting together because of my birthday."

"Your birthday?" I asked with a mix of anger and incredulity that he hadn't told me and knowing he'd kept it from me purposefully.

"Yes, it's in a couple days; the twentieth," he admitted—to his credit—a little sheepishly taking in my anger. "I'll be twenty-eight."

"How could you not tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel like you needed to get me anything. The only thing I really wanted was to be with you this weekend, and you gave me that. You being with me is the best present I could have asked for," he explained.

Despite the honesty I saw clearly in his eyes that told me he meant it, I couldn't help but be upset.

"But what if I _wanted_ to get you something?" I demanded, though I wouldn't have a single clue what to give someone who had more than I could ever fathom.

"I don't need anything. And every_one _I need, is right here," he said, his eyes boring into mine, looking earnest and remorseful. "I'm sorry, love. I guess I should have told you, don't be angry."

Edward set down the suitcase. Then he closed the distance between us and slipped his arms around me.

"How can I make this right?" he pleaded looking down at me.

I thought for a moment about why exactly it bothered me so much before I answered, but the reason was quick to surface.

"Don't keep things from me," I told him. "Whether it's you thinking you're saving me from feeling obligated to do something or hurt feelings or whatever it is. Don't. Just tell me, okay? I'm a big girl, I can take it; I'd much rather know than not. Secrets are kind of a sore spot for me." I admitted honestly, James coming to mind again.

"Okay," Edward nodded solemnly, studying me for a moment and then asked coyly, "So do you forgive me?"

"I suppose," I said grudgingly. I couldn't stay mad at him. My anger fizzled as quickly as it flared. "And as long as you let me actually get you something for your birthday."

Edward breathed a laugh and nodded.

"Anything you want, Bella," he conceded looking relieved.

XXXXX

Dinner with Edward's family was fantastic, they were all so down-to-earth and I realized how comfortable I'd already become around them. It made the evening easy and perfect. I wanted a thousand more gatherings with them like that. So much so that I very nearly told Edward we should have gone back to his parents' place because I'd become attached to all of them.

But I didn't. I held my tongue because a stronger desire overruled that thought immediately. The thought of having Edward all to myself so we could finish what we started before we left the house effectively and thoroughly evicted the thought of going back to his parents' from my mind.

The only downside to the evening was the paparazzi showed up and snapped pictures as we left the restaurant. I felt just as disoriented and anxious about them snapping pictures with their blinding flashes and barraging us with questions as I had in New York. To make it worse, a few of them managed to follow our car to the hotel and since it didn't have one of those cavernous entrances like the place Edward had stayed at in New York, we had to walk through them again to get into the building.

I had groaned internally when I saw them waiting for Edward and Emmett outside the restaurant, not just because I knew how unpleasant it could be walking through them but also because I knew then that my "secret" weekend get-a-way with Edward was officially no longer a secret. Jess was sure to see the pictures. In turn, she would promptly freak out and tell the family, which would result in Jake most likely getting even more upset with me for allowing myself to be "used" again by Edward.

The thought infuriated me. I definitely needed to straighten things out with Jake and the sooner the better. I hated that his perception of Edward was so completely off the mark. But despite the fact I hated the way he acted and the assumptions he held about Edward, I knew it was only because he loved me and was trying to protect me from what he thought Edward was and how he could hurt me. His reactions and assumptions were misguided, but I knew his heart was in the right place, and for that I loved him. It had killed him when the whole James thing came to light. And also, quite simply, I missed my best friend. I would never survive this next stint of Edwardless days if I didn't have Jake either.

All these things swirled endlessly in my head as we headed to the room, but when the door to the suite closed behind Edward and me, all those worries, concerns, fears and frustrations instantly washed away. It was as if I could feel the world settle in its proper place, where all that was left was Edward and me.

Everything was right and perfect. Even if it was just for this one last night, it was. And I planned to enjoy every last minute of it while it lasted.

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**You know the drill: I like to know what you think. You click the button, write a few things down and make my day.**


	21. Chapter 21 Confessions

**Thanks to everyone who's reading, recing and reviewing. Thanks also to MC for letting me tap into her beta skills.**

**A quick A/N: Many of you have mentioned Bella's low self-esteem/self-image in the reviews; since it's come up several times, I thought I should address it. **

**The way Bella views herself is what she considers "realistic"—not bad or good, it's just what she feels she is. But no, even though Bella is beautiful, she doesn't see herself as being so. When she looks in the mirror, she just sees an ordinary, normal, average girl. There are many reasons for this, but most stem from some core things; she's a middle child. (No, middle children who are reading this, I'm not saying all middle children have warped views of themselves. This applies to Bella because she wasn't the first or the boy like Jake, and she wasn't the baby, demanding the attention Jess had from their parents. Although she had a good childhood, she flew under the radar for attention from everyone in her family; it was just her reality. She did not desire, search-out or receive a lot of attention. She was always self-sufficient and content not in the spotlight.) She's also introverted. She never received a lot of male attention—or rather **_**noticed**_** that she had—and never really felt any real strong attraction to a guy other than fictional characters (before Edward anyway). Plus, she's not a person who thrived on physical contact (again B.E.). Then add in the toxic relationship she had with James, which took her moderately harmless and neutral viewpoint of herself and threw it down the gutter; unrealized by her as to how much so. In turn, she doesn't see how someone like Edward, the idyllic/perfect guy in her eyes, would ever even notice, much less want, someone like her when he could have anyone.**

**That being said, I hope you've noticed that Bella has made some small successes through the story so far on how she views herself. She will continue to do so as we move on, but it's not going to just change overnight. This is a deeply engrained viewpoint she's held about herself, changing something like that isn't going to happen instantly.**

**I hope that helps.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. This all human version of events is mine.**

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 21: Confessions**

It was raining. Which really wasn't anything of consequence given it rained for some period of time almost every single day here, but today, it was coming down in thick sheets that coated the windows in chaotic rivulets of water, making the windshield wipers work hard to keep up. And today the down pouring of rain matched my mood perfectly. So perfectly, it was like the all-consuming power of them somehow managed to affect the weather.

Sure I knew that wasn't actually possible, but it seemed too accurate and exact in timing to be a simple coincidence.

The night before was nothing short of blissful. But this morning when I awoke, it hit me hard; we were there again, facing another painful goodbye. Even the small package from Alice that she'd sent to Edward and my room, containing copies of pictures of all of us from the night before for each of us along with a note to me saying we should get together soon and to call her any time, didn't cheer me up as much as it should have. It should have made me so happy to know I finally had some real pictures of Edward and me, but the knowledge that it was going to be _all_ I was going to have of him for some time starting in just a few short hours, smothered that feeling.

Now, I sat in the passenger seat of the rental car, as Edward rubbed soothing circles with his thumb into my hand as he drove. I stared out the window of the car, wishing he didn't have to leave; wishing I could go with him; wishing things could be different. I felt heavy with the weight of knowing he was leaving again. I didn't want to feel this way, especially since I felt like I was ruining our last bit of time together by sulking, but I just couldn't get past the fact that it just wasn't fair. But fair or not, the reality was, we both had obligations we had to follow through with and those obligations were separating us in just a few hours' time.

Edward had some more interviews to do and had to head off to start filming his next movie. I couldn't get off work to go with him to where the interviews were this week either. It was June and the summer months were difficult to get time off unless you planned for them at the beginning of the year, even if I were able to afford it or give in and let Edward pay for my flight. But the argument we had this morning over me letting him pay for a flight to see him was really a moot point anyway, because no matter who was footing the bill, I couldn't get off work during the week. And starting the following week, he was going to be on the other side of the country filming which wasn't a trip that could realistically fit into a weekend anyway.

It was looking to be longer than two weeks apart this time—a lot longer—and the thought made everything seem gloomy and dismal. It was everything I could do to not let the tears start falling as I sat miserably glaring at the rain sheeting down on us, because I missed him already. So I sat there wallowing in the knowledge that he was going to have to leave for the airport just a few hours after we arrived at my place.

Sigh.

_Edward told you this wasn't going to be easy._ A voice in my head told me in a chastising, know-it-all tone.

_Shut up_. I snapped back. I didn't need to hear it, even from myself.

Edward's phone sounded out.

He released my hand, making me bite back a whimper from the loss of his touch. Then he turned down the radio to a soft whisper and answered the call.

"Hello?" he said pulling the phone up to his ear.

I heard a woman's voice on the other end I didn't recognize. I wrapped my arms around my middle feeling my stomach drop at the thought of another woman calling him. I tried to fight the jealousy that whipped through me, distracting me from what she was saying to him.

"Are you serious?" Edward asked with excited incredulity. "You're amazing, Irina."

Irina? Amazing?

The jealousy that had flooded my veins began to gnaw at me.

"Hell, I could about kiss you right now," he laughed.

The gnawing turned into sharp bites and snaps I couldn't hold back.

"I know," he laughed. "Yeah, I'll let you know in a minute, don't go anywhere. Thank you!" he signed off and ended the call.

I tried to tell myself to not overreact as the jealousy continued to ripple through me, but it was difficult to rein in such an overpowering feeling when every cell of my body shouted its claim that Edward was mine and sharing him was _not_ an option.

"What would you say, love, if I told I didn't have to leave today after all?" he asked as he set the phone down, a smile evident in his voice.

"What?" I breathed incredulously as I stared at him, wondering if I had just imagined him telling me he didn't have to leave me yet.

"That was my assistant," he clarified. "I'd asked her to see if there was any possible way she could find to extend my time here with you. She was calling to tell me she was able to shuffle some things that would allow me to fly out _tomorrow_ instead of today. It's not much longer, but it's something. She's just waiting for me to tell her to go ahead with moving my flight or leave it as is, because it's completely up to you. If you want, I can stay a bit longer," Edward explained glancing at me from the road.

"_If_ I want?" I asked incredulously. "Edward, there's no 'if' involved. Of course I want you to stay. Call her back!" I insisted, grabbing his phone and shoving it at him.

The sky was still dumping thick sheets of rain, but for me, it was as if the clouds had parted and the sun began shining down on us brightly. Edward had given me more time with him. I didn't care that it wasn't much more time, it was still more. And that meant everything when every minute meant so much.

Edward laughed indulgently, pulled me towards him and kissed my forehead. Then he promptly called Irina back, telling her to go ahead and move his flight and to send him the new information. Then he thanked her once again before hanging up.

I took claim of his electric hand again and looked out at the rain, happily this time, unable to stop myself from smiling like an idiot because I didn't have to let him go; not just yet, anyway. I could tangibly feel the change in our moods, affecting the air around us. The air in the car now felt light and energized. It was as if it held the feeling of happiness that radiated from us and made it a tangible thing.

I was still swimming in my blissful moment a few minutes later when my phone sounded with a message. I pulled it from my pocket and saw Jessica had texted me.

_**So, Bella, what did u do last night? BTW—I'd advise u to not lie to me. Remember: pictures say a thousand words. **_

_Shit_. I thought. I could practically see her tapping her foot as she texted me, sitting in front of her computer, fuming.

I knew I wouldn't have been so lucky that she wouldn't find out that I was with Edward. I sighed and sent her a reply.

_**Sounds like you already know, so why are you asking?**_

_**Seriously Bella! U r my SISTER! I shouldn't have to keep finding out this stuff online!**_

_And there was the angry stomp of the foot._ I thought, shaking my head at my sister.

_**Sorry.**_

_**Why r u keeping him from me? That is SO not fair! U know how much I love him! & he was only in Seattle! U promised I'd get to meet him. :( U could have brought me with u!**_

_Yeah, that would have been fun._ I thought sarcastically as I replied back.

_**Sorry, he asked me to go there for a family thing. It wasn't exactly something I was going to bring someone with.**_

_**U met his FAMILY? Like, his parents? Holy $#it Bella! R u 2 serious?**_

_**It wasn't a big deal. He was going to be in Seattle and wanted to see me so he asked me to come.**_

_**Meeting his family IS a big deal! OMFG! My sister is serious with Anthony FREAKING Cullen! Or Edward - whatever. This is SO not fair!**_

I didn't know what to say to that, so I was just going to go with not saying anything, thinking it best to just leave her alone to cool down. But just as I slipped my phone back into my pocket, it chimed with a new message and I pulled it back out.

_**& I suppose u 'can't' introduce him to me now bc he's gone. Whatever. U better tell me all about it tonight. It's the least u can do since u made me promise to not tell anyone about u 2.**_

Shit. Mom and Dad's.

I nearly texted her back right then saying I wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it tonight, but I knew she wouldn't buy it. Even if she did, she'd still be at my apartment with chicken soup as a thinly veiled attempt to look genuinely concerned for me, before she began to barrage me with questions.

Except I wasn't sick and Edward was with me. I cringed at the thought of what Jessica would do if she came by my place and found Edward there.

Oh shit, shit, shit.

"Everything alright love?" Edward asked putting his hand on my thigh.

"Um. Yeah," I said, not sure what to tell him.

"You really are the worst liar I've ever met," Edward laughed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, everything _is_ alright. Technically," I mumbled and then took a breath. "I had just forgotten that I'm supposed to go to my parents' place tonight. Every Sunday we hang out and have pizza."

"Is that all? Bella, that's not a big deal," Edward laughed.

"It's not?"

"No," he assured.

"But what are you going to do while I'm there?" I asked.

"Oh," Edward's face fell. "You don't want me to go with you. I'm sorry, I misunderstood. It's okay. I'll just call Irina back then, I'm sure she can still re-book my original flight for tonight."

"What? No! That's not what I meant! I would love for you to come with me, but I just figured I'd save you from that horrifying experience," I explained, realizing what I'd said and how he'd taken it.

"Really Bella, it's not a problem," he said, his voice holding a sharp edge to it as he reached for his phone, not believing me despite his knowledge that if I was lying he'd be able to call me on it.

"No Edward! Don't!" I begged, panicking at the thought of him leaving today after I'd just found out I'd get to keep him for the night. "Listen to me, okay? I just figured you wouldn't want to spend an evening with my crazy family."

"You just spent two days with mine, what's the difference?" Edward said with an icy edge to his voice that I hated as he stared coldly out the windshield. "It's fine if you aren't ready for me to meet them, just tell me."

My stomach knotted tightly. He had put up a wall and it hurt knowing it was there, but who did I have to blame for making him put it up but myself? I'd succeeded in putting my foot in my mouth and made it sound like I didn't want him there with me, even though there was nothing I wanted more.

I turned to him with a sigh and placed my hand on his cheek. "Seriously Edward," I pleaded, "you know I'm a terrible liar, so you should know I'm not lying now. I want you there with me. My thought of you not going was more along the lines of keeping my family from _you_ not you from _them_. Edward, I love my family, but they're all a bit cracked."

Edward's mouth twitched upward. He quickly reined it in, but it was too late, I'd seen the smile flicker across his face before he had been able to hide it. And I felt the knot in my stomach begin to loosen.

"I'm serious," I continued. "Let's see, where do I begin? Well, my mom is far too open about sex, expects my sister and me to talk to her like girlfriends about it and will probably flat-out ask you if you're having safe sex with me."

"And how do you propose I answer that question?" Edward asked, chuckling despite himself. "Shall I assure her that I am dutifully stockpiling condoms to keep up with her completely _insatiable_ daughter?"

"No!" I said horrified. "Just _don't_ answer it. I have never told her anything and that does _not_ need to change now. Jess can go ahead and have that 'bond' with her, I don't want it."

"Okay, so your Mom is open about sex, I come from a family that's really open about pretty much everything, so that's not exactly going to scare me off. What else do you have?" He challenged.

"Well," I paused determining what to tell him next, "my dad is chief of police and feels the need to make sure any guy who comes around knows full-well that he's armed and knows how to use his gun with perfect accuracy."

"A protective father over his daughter?" Edward scoffed. "That's pretty normal. You really need to try harder, love."

"Fine, if that doesn't deter you, Jake will," I went on. "Putting you in the same room as my brother would be like throwing you to the wolves. He is convinced that you're just some no-good sleaze-ball who used his fame and smooth talking just to get me in the sack."

"So you don't share your sex life with your mother, but you do with your brother?" Edward asked confused, thrown off with this detail.

"God no! I've never admitted to sleeping with you to anyone," I told him and then realized it was a lie. "Okay that's not entirely true," I amended. "I've never admitted to sleeping with you to anyone other than Rose. Jake just jumped to conclusions, it didn't matter that I never confirmed or denied anything, he's convinced that's what happened."

"As scary as you claim he is, I think I'll be alright… with him and your father," Edward said confidently, not the slightest bit deterred by my warnings. "Having a sister, I have insight into where they're coming from. You're not exactly bringing home some twenty-year-old guy who's just fucking around, planning his next conquest. When they realize I'm quite serious about you, they'll back off. Trust me."

My stomach fluttered happily hearing Edward's affirmation.

"If you say so," I said feeling his confidence was misguided; he didn't know how well two cops knew how to intimidate, "but as if those three aren't bad enough, I'm sure my sister, Jess, will be enough reason to want to stay away on her own. That woman is _fanatically_ infatuated with you. I'm honestly afraid of what she'll do if she is put within jumping distance of you."

"Unfortunately, it wouldn't be the first time I've had to deal with someone like that, love."

"You don't know Jessica," I insisted.

Edward laughed, brushing off my warning.

"You know," I laughed, "I think the only one that I wouldn't be afraid to introduce you to is my sister-in-law… so we could stay at my place, away from everyone else and I could tell Leah to come over. Because even my brother-in-law is not your biggest fan, since Jess is so obsessed with you. Really Edward, I don't want to put you through the freak show of hell because you'll surely run away screaming and I _can't_ handle that," I confessed, surprised at myself for uttering the words. I waited a beat for the regret of them to sweep over me, but they didn't. I needed him to know that and felt better knowing that he did now. "I was hoping to wait until everyone settled down about me being with you before I let them near you, so I'd have even half a chance in hell that they would act semi-sane."

"You're serious?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm very serious. I hate to admit it, but it appears I'm related to a bunch of nut-jobs," I admitted closing my eyes with a sigh.

Edward laughed. Surprised, I opened my eyes and looked at him confused.

"No Bella," Edward corrected, "are you serious that's the only reason you don't want me to go with you? You're supposed 'crazy' family?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"Love, I don't think there would be anything big enough to make me walk away from you now," Edward said decelerating the car as we approached the outskirts of Port Angeles.

My stomach leaped.

"Besides," he went on, "if I'm going to meet them eventually anyhow, I don't need for you to protect me from them. I believe that all families are a bit off their rocker in their own way to some degree or another."

I nodded as a warm flutter flashed through my chest with the mention of us and a future together. I took in a broken breath from the emotion that filled me with the thought.

"So if that is all you have," he continued, "your concern is unwarranted. I am quite certain that I can handle it."

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you," I told him wondering if he wasn't a bit crazy himself to willingly walk into all that knowingly. But finding I loved him all the more because of it.

XXXXX

Later that afternoon, given the mood the rainy day set, we decided to curl up and watch a movie. Of course Edward began browsing through my movie collection and noted teasingly how many movies I owned with him in it.

I pretended to ignore his playful goading as I put in an old favorite movie of mine—one he was definitely not in—and sat on the couch with a huff.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to watch _this_ one?" Edward asked as he held up _Undone_, wagging his eyebrows and flashing an impish smile. "Didn't you say you had a thing for the guy in it? Something about thinking he's really hot…?"

"Shut up," I retorted, biting my lip trying unsuccessfully to not smile at his adorably playful banter. Of course I turned bright red as got up from the couch, yanked the movie out of his hand and shoved it back on the shelf.

As I turned to stomp away from him and back to the couch, Edward snared his arms around me, trapping me there.

"Agh!" I let out a sound that was a mixture between laughter and surprise.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Edward asked through his laughter, as he held me against him, my back to his chest.

"Very," I pouted trying very hard to use an impressively angry tone.

"Aw, you can't stay mad at me, love," he said play biting my neck until I laughed.

Then he through our laughter, he turned me as I squirmed unsuccessfully to get away from him, lowering us down to the floor, pinning me by straddling my hips and holding my wrists. I struggled again trying my best to act mad.

"Try me," I bluffed, trying my hardest to keep a straight face and keep myself from laughing.

I saw a flicker of mischief flash in his eyes, telling me he had caught my lie. He gathered my wrists into one of his hands and smirked.

"You can, huh?" he asked squeezing his free hand just above my hips.

My body jerked and I squirmed, but I somehow managed to bite back the laughter my body wanted to eject. My hands jerked trying unsuccessfully to wrap around my stomach to guard it in defense but Edward held fast to my wrists.

He laughed triumphantly finding my weakness.

"Are you still mad?" he challenged, letting go of my wrists, sliding both hands around my middle undeterred by my arms trying to protect my ticklish sides.

I nodded seriously, lying the best I could.

"You're so stubborn," he marveled.

Then he began attacking my middle making me burst out in a session of breathless laughter.

"Tell me you're not mad at me," he commanded as his hands continued their assault, tickling my sides until I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe; my defenses useless.

"You're cheating!" I accused in gasps.

"Knowing how to defeat your adversary is not cheating," he laughed along with my forceful giggles.

"This is _so_ cheating!" I managed between laughs.

Edward paused his assault, letting me breathe.

"And it's not nice to tease me," I chastised him, calming my breaths, feeling my body begin to relax under him again.

"But I like that you had a thing for me," he insisted, his voice still a little breathless from the round of laughter. "On you, it's sexy."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Very sexy," I scoffed. "If that were true you'd be drooling after three quarters of the population."

"Just three-quarters?" he asked, feigning offense. "Ouch. I must be losing my looks."

"Whatever," I retorted, rolling my eyes just as much at myself for not being able to mask the smile that wanted to burst through my weak facade, as I was at his comment.

"The general populace is one thing, _you_, Bella, are another," Edward defended. "Like I said, 'on _you_ it's sexy.'"

"Then why do you have to give me crap about it?" I asked trying once again to scowl impressively and once again, failing miserably.

"Because you're cute when you're angry," Edward smirked playfully, giving a quick squeeze to my side, making me jump and let out another laugh. "And so I can see you blush."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's one of the many things I love about you," Edward smiled.

Then his smile faded and his face turned serious. I felt the electricity running between our bodies begin to spiral around us, getting stronger; pulling us together. My breathing sped and my chest warmed as the moment lengthened, our eyes locked into one another's.

"I love you, Bella," Edward breathed softly, but his words were concrete, unwavering and honest.

I gasped at the feeling of my chest filling with tingling warmth and the sensation that my heart had just expanded to a size that shouldn't be able to still fit inside my body.

Edward watched me intently, evaluating every last feature, searching for how I reacted to the confession he'd just made to me. The air around us crackled and stilled; the moment frozen with the words that he'd said still hanging in the air.

I struggled to recover from the impact the words had on me, but found myself mute with the disbelief that it could even be a possibility to be true.

Edward drew a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, love," he said, his eyebrows pushing together. "I shouldn't have—. It's too soon. I—" he rambled half formed sentences, shook his head and began to pull away from me.

Edward's disengaging finally drew me out of my stupor; unable to stand him pulling away from me.

I grabbed his hand and held it tightly, making him turn back to me, though he didn't meet my eyes.

"I love you too, Edward," I breathed feeling my eyes well with tears of joy.

Edward's downturned eyes flashed to mine, skeptical and ready to call me out on a lie.

But there was no lie to be found.

It was the truth in the most basic level; I felt my body lived and breathed on the knowledge. I felt every action, every word, every look I'd given him, every touch had said it. Hell, every personality that lived in my head had already been screaming that simple fact to him for what seemed like forever before this moment.

Realizing the truth of my words, a smile began spreading across his face and I realized then, the same goofy smile was forming on mine.

Edward leaned down and kissed me soundly, with purpose and conviction. That kiss fed the next and we began to laugh between kisses. But soon the happy laughter faded and I could feel the emotion that coursed through the kisses as they went from light exaltation and deepened, turning into something more serious.

We slipped off our clothing slowly and unrushed, relishing in every slip of skin revealed. Each touch was gentle and sensual, tracing the lines of one another, engrossed by every contour, peak and valley. Each kiss was languid and unhurried.

The feeling I'd gotten the other day that had made me wonder if we'd gone from having sex to making love was just a faint whisper of what was rocking through me when he pushed into me this time. I knew then that I'd been right, that this was the something that had changed. But now with the confession out in the open from both of us, I realized the feeling before that had ghosted, just hinting at the emotion. Now that emotion had been opened and unleashed, it radiated between us intensely; demanding to be heard, felt, seen.

Edward loved me. For reasons beyond me, he did. And he now knew I felt the same.

I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay there tangled up with Edward forever. If I could have done it, I would have, and it seemed Edward felt the same way too, dragging it out, delaying the end.

When we did finally finish, we curled up on the couch, intertwined for quite some, talking, kissing, touching, unwilling to pull away from one another until we absolutely had to.

"I love you Edward," I told him when I could no longer ignore the fact that we had to head to my parents' place and I slipped out of his arms. I reveled in how good it felt finally being able to say it out loud.

"I love you too, Bella," Edward told me in return, caressing my face, his eyes burning with the intensity of his words.

I stared back into his eyes, and I could feel it; I knew with absolute certainty that he did.

* * *

**Here is a song rec for this chapter.**

**Falling In** _by_ **Lifehouse**

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=7Az8lNQ4wdg

**I would love to know what you think. Leave a review and tell me.**


	22. Chapter 22 Close Encounters

**Thanks everyone for reading, reviewing, recing, and adding this to your alerts, favs, and communities! Thanks to MC for your beta skills and funny chapter title among other things.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters; this all human story, however, is mine.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Close Encounters of a Third Kind**

"Turn left here," I instructed. "It's the last house on the right. You can just pull past the driveway and park at the end of the street."

I noted that neither Jake's nor my dad's cars were there, but Jess' new vehicle was already parked in the driveway.

_This might be good_. I thought optimistically. _Ease Edward into the crazy._

I didn't want to assault him with it all at once because I couldn't allow myself to hope that my family would surprise me by acting even remotely normal.

Edward followed my directions and shut off the engine.

"Remember, I warned you," I told him again before getting out of the car.

"You warned me," Edward nodded with a laugh, pulling his hand through his hair, still not understanding how serious I was about what he was getting himself into. Unfortunately, he was about to find out.

We got out of the rental car and Edward came around to meet me, taking hold of my hand as if he was the one trying to reassure me when it should have been the other way around.

"Breathe Bella," he reminded me, sliding his fingers through my hair and gently tucking it behind my ear, then kissed me softly.

I nodded and took a deep breath as I wondered why I was the one who was so nervous.

"I love you," he whispered stepping into me again and dipped his head down. I could feel his warm breath on my skin and then his lips as they brushed the curve of my neck.

I felt a thrill go through me hearing him tell me he loved me and I couldn't help but smile like an idiot because it wasn't just that he said the words, I could _feel _them. His words were like something tangible that I could hold onto, they felt true and real. And it was like he knew exactly what to say to calm me down, the effect from his touch and words were almost immediate; my breathing became easier and I felt my body relax, melting into him.

"I love you too, Edward," I said as he pulled away to look at me. "And I apologize now for anything any of them do or say."

Edward laughed lightly, "I doubt it will be nearly as bad as you think it will be."

I looked up at him doubtfully, knowing it was going to be at _least_ as bad as I envisioned and began walking up to the house with my one hand firmly clasped with Edward's.

_Here goes nothing._

I opened the door and walked in ahead of Edward.

"Hey Mom?" I called hearing my voice quiver lightly and sound not quite normal. "I hope it's okay, I brought someone with me."

"Is Rose with you?" she called excitedly over the commotion of Jess and Mike arguing over whether or not to feed Riley something.

"I'm still mad at you, Bella for keeping himfrom me!" Jess yelled to me from the kitchen and then resumed the conversation she and Mike were having.

If I wasn't so nervous, I would have laughed knowing Jessica wasn't going to stay mad at me for much longer.

"Of course it's okay Bella, you know that your friends are always welcome!" Renee continued. I could hear her get up from a chair and begin walking towards us from the kitchen, as we made our way in from the entryway and past the living room. "Did Rose bring Henry? Oh, I haven't seen them in what feels like forever! And you know you're father always orders more than enough—"

My mom's sentence cut off the moment she saw Edward and realized it wasn't Rose who I'd brought with me.

"Oh!" she breathed, stopping short, as her eyes bugged out and her mouth dropped open for a brief moment before she recovered. She shot me a reproachful look for surprising her with something like this. Then she smiled warmly at Edward, her eyes distractedly flickering to our hands intertwined.

"As you can see it's not Rose," I said stupidly as Edward smiled, pulling his free hand through his hair and shoving it in his pocket.

Catching his nervous cue, I realized then that he was more anxious about this than he had let on.

"Mom, this is Edward. Edward, this is my mom—"

"It's Renee," she interjected over my introduction, not waiting for me to get to add her name. She reached out to shake Edward's hand looking slightly star-struck.

I could hear Jessica grumbling about something in the other room and Mike talking to Riley, none of them hearing our exchange.

"Nice to meet you, Renee," Edward said pulling his hand from his pocket to shake hers and then ran it through his hair again and grabbing a fistful before shoved it back into his pocket. I gave his hand I held a gentle squeeze of reassurance feeling a bit guilty for finding his nervousness adorable.

"Come in," she insisted waving us past her as she attempted to shake off the shock. "Jake and Leah are on their way and Charlie will be here shortly with the pizza." As soon as we passed by her she put her hand on my shoulder to catch my attention. When I looked back, she flashed a look of impressment to Edward and then back to me mouthing, "Wow."

_Yes, Mom, I know. Believe me, I know._ I thought as I gave her a tight smile and nodded, not wanting to encourage her. Then I flashed her a look, begging her to not to do or say anything to embarrass me. She raised her hands in submission and mouthed, "Okay."

I was only slightly mollified by her wordless promise, part of my mother's problem was she didn't seem to realize some of the things she did or said.

I had a few more steps to go before I walked around the corner into the kitchen that would put Edward in view of Jessica. I took a deep breath, bracing myself, feeling like I was walking into my doom.

"Chee-os!" Riley demanded excitedly, standing next to Jessica who was crouched down in front of Riley's diaper bag digging through it and didn't see us immediately. "Chee-os! Chee-os! Chee-os!" he sang, trying to jump with his excitement, but hadn't yet figured out how to get his feet off the ground, so he was bending his knees then launching himself up onto his tip-toes and back again like a grounded pogo stick that just couldn't get airborne.

"Mommy's looking for them," she told Riley sounding flustered as she shoved things around the bag because she knew our mother never remembered to have them on hand. Every time Jess was over with Riley, since he was about six months old, she would mention that she should get some Cheerios for him, but every time they came, she had forgotten to buy them again. It didn't take long for Jess to just make sure to have them in Riley's bag, knowing despite our mother's good intentions Renee was just never going to remember to have them.

Thinking about it, I realized it was a small miracle she'd had those kinds of things on hand when we were growing up.

"Hi Mike," I greeted my brother-in-law and he looked up at me from Jess and Riley. His eyes barely paused at me giving him a small wave before his wave stopped short, registering I wasn't alone. He stared at Edward for a beat, as the realization of who was with me sank in.

Mike's shoulders sagged and he looked back at me giving me a defeated look that said, "Are you fucking serious? You've _got_ to be kidding me."

I mouthed, "Sorry," to him, took a deep breath, relishing in the last moment of peace I would most likely have for the rest of the time we were here and then tore the bandage off.

"Mike, Jessica? I'd like you to meet Edward," I said biting my lip, bracing myself for Jess' reaction. The moment Edward's name crossed my lips I saw Jessica's back, which had been stooped over the bag, straighten sharply. Then she slowly began to turn around as if she was trying to act cool, suspicious I was just messing with her. "Edward, this is my sister, Jessica, and her husband Mike."

Mike immediately—although reluctantly—stood and shook Edward's hand, shaking his head dreading, just as I was, Jess' reaction.

When Edward spoke to Mike, exchanging pleasantries, Jessica's slow-motion movement snapped into warp speed. Her head whipped around so fast it was a wonder she didn't hurt herself in the process. When her eyes landed fully on him, they bugged out and she dropped the container of Cheerios on the ground. Riley, excited for the snack, cheered, picked them up and began shaking them. He giggled at the noise they made and walked over to his dad to open the container for him, shaking it the whole way.

"Oh my God," Jess breathed looking too shocked to freak out in high-pitched screams like I'd expected.

"Hello Jessica," Edward smiled an easy, amused smile as Jessica righted herself. "It's nice to meet you," he added stepping forward, holding out a hand in offering to shake.

Jess tried to look cool and casual as she walked across the kitchen over to him, though unsuccessfully as I could see her shaking. She held out her hand as she unsuccessfully attempted to stifle a giggle.

"Oh my God!" Jess said again through a face cracking smile when her hand met Edward's. The volume of her words was just barely more than a whisper, but her voice had also jumped a couple octaves, making her words come out in a squeal.

_Oh shit_. I thought as I eyed her warily debating with myself on whether or not she was going to go into hysterics. _Please don't freak out. _Please_ don't freak out._

Her free hand went up to cover her huge, giddy grin while the other refused to surrender Edward's.

"I'm such a huge fan," she gushed and I cringed for her.

"Thanks," Edward said simply, smiling calmly.

"Can I ask you a _huge_ favor?" she asked, her eyes lit up. To her credit, she hadn't screamed or jumped and latched herself onto him yet; for that I was impressed. She was keeping her cool far better than I'd ever thought she would—so far anyhow.

"What's that?" Edward asked, smartly not agreeing to anything before knowing what it was.

"Could I get a picture with you?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and bright with hopeful anticipation and her body bouncing up and down, with the excited anticipation of his answer. I could only imagine the willpower it took her to contain herself to just that.

I flashed Edward a look of apology.

"Um, sure," Edward chuckled lightly and cleared his throat. His surprise with her request made his compliance sound like a question rather than a statement.

Jessica bounced a little higher and let out a squeal of excitement before she finally surrendered Edward's hand, dashed from the room and out of the house to get her camera.

"Thanks a lot, Bella," Mike grumbled in a chuckle under his breath.

Riley's ears perked up at the mention of my name. He looked up from his beloved Cheerios, previously too occupied by them to realize I was there before, and spotted me. When he did, his eyes lit up.

"Aunnie Bewa!" he cheered, quickly sliding off of Mike's lap. He began to toddle across the kitchen with a big chubby-faced grin, holding up a handful of Cheerios, dropping several on his way. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

Jess burst back into the house, distracting me from Riley, her pace too fast to pull off her poor attempt to look cool and nonchalant.

"Here Bella," she said shakily, shoving the camera in my hands. Then she wedged herself between Edward and me, giving me flashbacks of the night I'd formally met Edward at the concert.

Edward reluctantly surrendered my hand he still held, as I stepped away to take the picture.

"I usually look cuter than this," she insisted and then shot me a look as I turned the camera on, as if it was my fault she had a ponytail in and was wearing stretch-waist pants and one of Mike's t-shirts to accommodate her rapidly growing stomach. "And I'm not fat; I'm pregnant," she clarified to him.

"Oh, congratulations, that's great," Edward told her politely.

"Thanks," she glowed and then quickly followed up, "It's twins. That's why I'm so huge."

"Ready?" I quickly interjected, saving Edward from figuring out how to reply to that comment.

"Make sure you don't get my stomach in the shot," Jessica ordered.

"Of course, Jess," I said, rolling my eyes and shook my head. I couldn't help but grin widely when I saw Edward holding back a laugh.

"Uppy!" Riley demanded pulling my leg as I snapped the photo.

"Just a second Riley," I told him as I held out the camera for Jessica to take from me so I could pick up my nephew.

"Take another one," Jess said quickly, sounding slightly panicked, realizing if I was done with pictures, she'd lost her reason to snuggle up next to Edward. "I think my eyes were closed."

Her eyes were definitely not closed. She knew that as well as I did, and I could have proved it in two seconds by pulling up the picture, but I dutifully took a second picture deciding it wasn't worth it to argue.

"There," I said putting the camera in Jess' hand and letting go of it, not allowing for argument this time.

Jessica looked like she was going to pout, not being able to think of another excuse to keep her arm around Edward, but then she turned the camera back on and pulled pictures up on the display to look at, letting out a muffled squeal and a tiny little happy dance as she did so.

"Thank you so much!" she gushed at Edward and threw her hands around his waist excitedly in a tight bear hug. After a beat of surprise, he lightly hugged her back giving a few pats looking a bit uncomfortable.

Jessica's eyes rolled back as she held him, her head resting on his chest, and mouthed to me, "Oh my God!" looking like she was dipping herself into heaven.

Then Jess met my eyes, narrowed hers and mouthed to me, "I hate you."

I had to hold back a laugh at her comically dramatic display because I felt like I shouldn't. I mean, I of all people, knew the effect Edward had, but really, her overt reactions seemed a bit much. But then a beat later I started to worry about how I'd acted around him at first—other than the unintentional blowjob reference and nearly falling on my face walking down the stairs, that was. Those were mortifying enough; I seriously hoped I'd not been anything like this and tried to reassure myself that I hadn't.

I was grateful that I was standing between Jessica and Mike, though, so he hadn't seen her mouth those things to me. I knew her obsession with Edward—"Anthony"—was already a sore spot with him; I didn't want to have any arguments between them stem from my bringing him here.

I wasn't sure who I felt worse for at the moment; Mike or Edward.

Edward gingerly extracted himself from Jessica's grasp, ran his hands through his hair and then shoved them back into his pockets.

"Uppy Bewa! Uppy!" Riley demanded at me again, this time tugging impatiently at my pant leg, tired of waiting and upset that I hadn't picked him up yet.

"Okay, Riley," I said indulgently as I crouched down and picked him up and settled him on my hip. As soon as he was within reach, he put his hand to my mouth, pushing a Cheerio between my lips.

"Mmm, thank you Riley," I said as he grinned, looking so proud of himself for sharing the joy of his favorite food with me. Then he shoved the remaining few that were still clenched in his fist, into his own mouth and grinned as he chomped on them.

"This," I told Edward when I cleared the Cheerio from my mouth, "is Mike and Jess' son, Riley." Riley looked over at Edward, curious about the new face. "Riley, can you say 'hi' to Edward?" I asked him.

"Hey little guy," Edward smiled; taking one of Riley's chubby hands and doing a playful shake.

Instead of saying "hi" as I'd requested, the moment Edward dropped his hand, Riley threw his body towards him with such force I almost dropped him as I let out a sound of surprise. Edward's hands jutted out in response, to not let him fall, but I had secured my hold on him in time and Edward, seeing this, dropped his hands.

Riley didn't like that though and attempted to launch himself at Edward again, trying to leap into his arms, frustrated with his lack of success since I had a better grip on him now.

"Eh!" he insisted, reaching out to Edward. "Eh! Uppy!" he said again, clenching and unclenching his fists at him, like he was trying to grab ahold of Edward.

"Did you want to come here?" he asked skeptically.

Riley dove again to Edward.

"Woah! Okay," Edward laughed catching Riley and settled him into his arms. "Hey there little man. Is this what you wanted?" Edward smiled.

Riley sat there, tipping his head, studying Edward for a minute while Edward smiled amusedly back at his serious little face. Then, Riley reached out grabbing ahold of Edward's nose, making Edward and the rest of us laugh. Riley giggled in return, impressed with himself and his ability to produce a reaction from everyone. Then he placed his chubby little hand on Edward's cheek wearing a look of anticipation that almost asked, "what will you do with my hand _here_?". Edward broke the expectant filled silence by attacking Riley's hand, pretending to try to bite it, accompanying the action with playful growling sound effects. Riley jumped, jerking his hand back and squealed with delight, giggling excitedly making all of us laugh hardily from Riley's contagiously jubilant laughter.

When Riley's fit of giggles settled, he put his hand back on Edward's face, excitedly waiting for him repeat the game. When he did, Riley's giggles erupted again just as exuberantly. After several replays, Riley smiled winningly at Edward and then turned to me. The happily satisfied look he gave me was as if he was giving me his approval of him.

It was watching the exchange between Riley and Edward that a strong, unfamiliar feeling pricked at me. A feeling I tried to swat away. But like an incessant insect, it kept nipping back at me until it succeeded in breaking through, producing an image. It was one of Edward playing around with another little boy like he had been doing with Riley, but the little boy in the vision looked like a carbon copy of Edward in miniature size.

I felt my world twist, turning on its side, as I took in this image and the realization that hit me with an almost violent force; I _wanted_ that. I didn't just love Edward and want to keep him forever. I wanted to have children with him someday; to be a family.

And I wanted it badly.

I grappled with the knowledge, trying to come to terms with it.

The sudden desire was so altering to my reality; I was surprised I was still standing upright. The shockingly strong feeling that derived from the image, was so opposite of the way I had always felt on the subject, that it jarred me.

I'd never before wanted to have kids. _Ever_. Children had never appealed to me in that way. Having kids was something other people did; like Jess, who seemed to have been made to have kids. I never minded being around children—obviously or I never would have nearly become a teacher—but I happily handed them back to their parents. I had never had that yearning so many women claimed to have when it came to wanting a baby. I had just figured it was yet another thing about me that made me different than most women. The lack of desire to have kids was so definite when I was with James, in fact, that I'd asked my OB about getting my tubes tied so I wouldn't have to deal with birth control. But she wouldn't let me. She said she wouldn't do a permanent procedure on someone as young as I was who had never had any children. She had said that if I still felt the same ten or fifteen years later, she would possibly be willing to discuss it as a potentially plausible option then, in the meantime, temporary methods would have to suffice.

Now, to my shock, I found myself feeling overwhelmingly _relieved_ that she'd not agreed to do the procedure. I was glad that I had the _possibility_ of it, even if it was something that never happened.

Where the hell was this coming from?

Edward looked up from Riley, still wearing the smile he'd been giving him, and turned to me. When his eyes met mine, his smile faded and his face turned serious, just like it had earlier when he'd told me he loved me for the first time. My heart leapt and took off racing with worry that my thoughts were written all over my face and it had scared him. I bit my lip and felt myself blush with the fervent hope that they weren't, earning a curious look from Edward.

"Eh! Down!" Riley demanded diving away from Edward, for the ground and almost succeeding. But Edward quickly grabbed ahold of Riley with his other hand to prevent him from getting his wish head first, and then set him down on his feet.

"Who has the Mercedes parked out front?" Jake's voice boomed as I heard him and Leah open the door and walk into the house.

Edward stood back up as Riley toddled away from him and I grabbed a hold of his hand firmly. I wasn't sure if I was trying to reassure Edward it was going to be okay, or if I needed his hand to reassure me, but I found myself able to take a breath as soon as I could feel the familiar current race through me again from his touch.

"Jess, did you get Mike to buy you _another_ vehicle?" Leah called with a laugh.

_Here we go, round two._ I groaned nervously in my head.

Oh God. Breathe.

_Please let Jake behave. Please let Jake behave_.

Edward began rubbing his thumb against my hand soothingly and I flashed him an apologetic look. My mother, Mike and even _Jessica_ had behaved _far_ better than I thought they would have so far, but I had a feeling that Jake wouldn't be quite as painless.

I prayed to every deity I could think of that I was wrong.

"Very funny!" Jess called back sarcastically to Leah in the other room.

Leah walked into the kitchen. Spotting Edward immediately, her eyes went wide with surprise, and then she covered her mouth, holding back a laugh with the realization whose car it was parked in front of the house and her husband's potential reaction to it. Her shoulders shook with laughter she held back before she recovered, leaving a knowing smirk plastered on her face.

Two steps behind Leah came Jake, his jovial smile dropped instantly as his eyes landed on Edward. Then they shot to me incredulously.

Oh shit.

"The car in question would be mine—well, my rental anyhow," Edward spoke up.

"Leah, Jake, this is Edward," I piped in, using introductions as an excuse to look away from Jake's penetrating gaze. "Edward, this is my brother Jacob and his wife Leah."

Leah was quick to shake Edward's hand and warmly greet him and then walked to the fridge and pulled out a soda. I relaxed for a second, seeing how normal she was acting around him, just like I was introducing her to anyone.

_Thank you Leah._

I looked back over at Jake to find him glaring at Edward and my hands clasped together, he was staring so hard he could have bored a hole right through them. But more than that, he was shaking his head incredulously, almost like he wanted to be pissed but wasn't sure if he should be or not.

"So what brings you here, Edward?" Jake asked as if in challenge, his eyes flashing to Edward's, ready to pick apart any reason he was going to give. He didn't shake Edward's hand; instead, he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

"My family was getting together in Seattle," Edward replied sounding completely unruffled by Jake's unfriendly actions, intimidating demeanor and confrontational tone, "and I asked Bella to join me in spending the weekend with my parents."

"Bella, you met his _parents_?" my mom gushed, raising her eyebrows, impressed.

"I know right?" Jessica complained to Mom, throwing her hands out in frustration. "That's something you _tell_ your family! Not something your sister has to find out, oh, gee, I don't know, _online_," she griped as she glowered at me.

I closed my eyes and pulled my free hand up to my face in mortification then braved a peek up at Edward who to my surprise didn't look like he wanted to bolt from the room as I feared. Instead, I found he was smiling and chuckled silently at my family's exchange as if he found it amusing rather than horrifying. He let go of my hand, slipping his arm around the curve of my waist, pulling me closer to him, rubbing reassuring circles in my side with his thumb and then he pressed his lips to the top of my head. When he pulled his head back so he could look at me, the expression he wore on his face looked like… like he loved me.

My chest tingled with the warmth Edward's look sent through it and I could feel myself relax despite my siblings' behavior.

"Seriously Bella," Jessica continued her chastising as she sat down at the table and pulled Riley onto her lap, "that's just not cool."

Mike rolled his eyes at his wife. Leah laughed as she leaned against the counter adjacent to where Edward and I stood, in front of the sink and took a sip of her soda, enjoying the entertainment. And my mom looked a little confused, probably not knowing about the most recent article Jessica had found on Edward.

"You didn't find out _that_ online," I defended weakly, knowing she didn't know about my meeting Edward's parents from the internet.

I couldn't help but feel frustrated; Jessica knew that I was never the sharing type. Did she seriously think that that part of me should just suddenly change now that I was dating the celebrity she was obsessed with?

Wait. That was a stupid question. Of course she thought that it should change. In her mind, it was only logical that it should change because it was "Anthony" and in turn I should suddenly share everything with her.

"Technicality," Jessica scoffed sourly. "Had I not found out _online_ that you were with Anth—Edward this weekend and called you out on it, you never would have told me you met his family. Which, by-the-way, I'm sure you didn't mean to divulge," she said, talking about Edward like he wasn't in the room. "So it's not really a defense."

Edward chuckled amusedly beside me and I chanced a glance at Jake who, despite having his arms folded across his chest, no longer seemed to be angry. Instead he looked deep in thought, like he was turning something over in his mind as he stared at Edward and me.

I allowed myself to feel the relief that came with that observation, hoping he'd be civil the remainder of the night.

Edward's phone sounded with a text.

"Excuse me," Edward said unwinding his arm from around me and pulled his phone from his pocket. Then he smiled indulgently and let out a chuckle, shaking his head. "I know you got Alice's number this morning, love, but would it be alright if I give her yours?" he asked me. "Apparently half a day is as long as she can go, to wait for you to call or text her first."

"Yeah, of course," I told him, more than fine with Alice having my number, but confused as to why she wanted to get ahold of me.

"She wants to talk to you about possibly getting together sometime in the next few weeks," he elaborated as if reading my mind, but then realized, my confusion must have been written all over my face.

"Oh, I'd like that," I said honestly, realizing how much I would like that. I really liked Alice; it would be nice to see her again. Plus it would give me a link, however obscure, to Edward while he was away.

I suddenly realized the room was deafeningly quiet and I felt very aware that everyone in the room was watching Edward and me, listening to our conversation instead of conducting their own.

"Impatient little pixie," he laughed affectionately as he texted her back.

Edward no more than slipped his phone into his pocket when mine chimed out, from my purse that sat on the counter behind me, with a new text.

"I think I should have given you better warning about what you were agreeing to," Edward admitted sounding a bit sheepish as he glanced in the direction of the sound. "She's taken to you. You'll be right lucky to escape her now," he said not quite managing a laugh.

"No need for escape, I like Alice," I assured him, nudging his side lightly with mine. "I'm glad she wants to get together."

"Hey Jake?" I heard my dad called from the door as he noisily made his way through it. "Wanna grab these so I can go get the beer from the car?"

Jake stood up from the wall and walked out of the room.

"Hey, do you know who has the flashy car that's parked out front?" my dad asked Jake in the other room.

I heard Jake answer him, but he spoke too low for me to hear what he said.

"What?" I heard my dad exclaim before he controlled the volume of his voice and I couldn't make out what they had said over Leah, Jessica and my mom who'd begun chatting, so I went to pull out plates and napkins, frustrated.

"Stop undressing him with your eyes, it's creepy," I whispered in Jessica's ear seeing her staring at Edward, nearly drooling.

Jessica flashed me a pointed glare, covering up her embarrassment for being caught. "You realize you are the luckiest person that ever lived, right?" she whispered back through her teeth.

"Oh believe me, I know," told her honestly even if it was for completely different reasons than she'd meant and stepped away from her.

"Can I help?" Edward asked.

"Nope. All done," I smiled at him setting the stacks of paper plates and napkins on the table and walked back to him, finding myself blush with the way he watched me.

A crooked smile crossed Edward's face at the sight of my blush, which only made me blush even deeper. I dipped my head in a poor attempt to hide my blush as he wrapped his arm back around my waist. He chuckled, and then kissed the top of my head.

Jake came back into the kitchen, setting down four extra-large pizza boxes and two containers of garlic bread and garlic cheese bread on the table.

"I swear, I don't know why Charlie always buys so much," my mom exclaimed clicking her tongue and shaking her head watching Jake open up the boxes.

"Sure you do," Mike laughed. "He knows how much guys eat. That and he looks forward to the leftovers probably more than he does the first round."

"Ain't nothing better than leftover pizza," my dad chimed in as he entered the kitchen, carrying a case of his favorite beer.

"Dad?" I interjected, getting his attention. "I'd like you to meet Edward. Edward, this is my dad, Charlie."

"Chief Swan," Edward greeted, offering his hand. I was surprised, trying to recall when I'd told him that my dad was the chief of police and then trying to figure out if I hadn't even remembered mentioning it, how Edward would have remembered me saying it.

"Edward," my dad said gruffly. It wasn't lost on me that my dad didn't correct Edward to call him Charlie. He met his hand, eyeing Edward up and down shrewdly, still in his uniform—gun included.

I eyed the gun warily as my dad walked to the refrigerator. I wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me, but could have sworn that my dad's hand twitched toward the gun, making me jump when Edward put his hand on the small of my back.

I was glad that the first thing my dad usually did was change out of his uniform; the gun was putting me on edge.

Jake and Mike had already dished up and were heading out to the living room, beers in hand. Jessica was busy cutting up a piece of pizza into little bite size pieces for Riley who was eagerly bouncing at her feet. And my mom was asking Leah when she was going to start giving her grandchildren—for the hundredth time that year.

After Edward and I grabbed some pizza ourselves, I moved to sit down at the table, but Edward began to walk out of the kitchen. My eyes went wide with alarm and I started to rise from my seat but Edward waved me off and shook his head. I felt like I was letting him walk into his doom; my dad hadn't changed out of his police uniform. In fact, he was still armed, never even removing the gun belt when he went to join the guys in the living room, not to mention what Jake would do or say to Edward with me not in the room.

Edward smirked and rolled his eyes lightly as if I'd said my fear aloud before he left the room—I must have looked as petrified as I felt—and it took everything in me to not bolt after him. Not because I couldn't handle being outside of touching distance from him, but because, no matter how irrational a thought it was, I somehow felt I needed to protect him. I resigned my thoughts with a sigh and ate my pizza while Jessica gushed to me about Edward and how much she hated me for getting to be with him.

"Some warning should have been called for," Jess sniffed.

"No, warning you wouldn't have helped anything," I disagreed.

"I could have at least made myself cuter!" she shrilled loudly enough it made Riley who was sitting next to her jump. I couldn't help but laugh as she took a hasty breath.

"Why do you need to impress him?" I asked taking a bite of pizza.

Jess just looked at me like I was an idiot because it should have been obvious. "Anth—Edward is someone you need to look good for," she said tersely.

"But you're married," I pointed out.

"So?"

I just shook my head realizing I needed to shut up because I was never going to be able to decode my sister.

"But oh my _God_, Bella, you were right, he is totally hotter in person," she gushed, quickly dropping her petulance, and the sighed dreamily. "Mmmm,he's totally and _completely YUM,_" she practically moaned, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

"And he's totally and completely _mine_," I said back matter-of-factly, feeling my stomach warm with the satisfaction of saying it out loud for the first time.

Edward was mine. As impossible to believe as it was, I knew it was true, and knowing that felt amazing.

"Urgh, I hate you," Jessica spat back with jealousy.

"Yeah, I'm good with that," I retorted with a smile.

XXXXX

I slumped against the seat as Edward pulled away from the house realizing how on edge I'd been the whole night, now that I let myself relax. I suddenly felt exhausted; feeling how much my stress over the evening with my family had worn me out.

"Are you alright, love?" Edward asked.

"I'm just glad that's over," I breathed.

"Do you regret bringing me?" he asked in a light tone, but I could hear the real fear of the answer to that question he tried to hide behind it.

"No, of course not Edward," I assured him. "I just couldn't relax between wondering about what Jake would do or say and my dad keeping his _loaded_ _gun_ on him the whole night. God, you would have thought I'd brought home an ex-felon or something; I think they forget my age."

"Yeah, I have to say an armed father was a first for me," he admitted with a laugh. "And I see you weren't kidding about your brother being intimidating; he must be even bigger than Emmett," he marveled sounding impressed rather than intimidated. "He's definitely taller than him and probably just as built. But as for their actions, they're just looking out for you, love."

I laughed once in annoyance.

"You don't think they are?" Edward challenged.

"Oh I'm sure they think they are and I am also sure they mean well, but I'm not as helpless as they think I am," I bristled.

"Being surrounded by people who act in a way because they love and care about you doesn't qualify as a weakness. Nor does it necessarily mean they think you're helpless; you just mean a lot to them," he explained. "And meaning a lot to someone isn't a bad thing. So if they're not so friendly to me at first because they love you that much, how can I let it bother me?" Edward paused as if considering the question he posed and shook his head. "I can't. Try to not take it negatively; they just want to make sure you'll be alright."

"Yeah, well sometimes they show that they care just a little too much," I disagreed stubbornly knowing they never used to be _this_ overbearing. I knew it was because of James and their perception that it was their fault they didn't weed him out before he had hurt me. Maybe that was why it bothered me so much; it was an unwelcome reminder of James when I was realizing more and more how horrible he was to me with the more Edward showed me just how _good_ things could be. I wanted to forget about James, not be reminded of him.

Edward laughed. "Well, I must admit, I'm starting to see Alice's petulance with Dad, Em and me trying to look out for her. And why it took her so long until she finally brought Jasper around to meet us."

"It sounds like the two of us will be able to compare notes," I said dryly.

"Well, I can't say any one of us were ever _armed_, but I'm sure she has her own list of things we did that aggravated her when we felt we were just looking out for her," Edward smiled.

"Regardless, they didn't need to be so rude to you," I griped.

"Bella, honestly, I'm not bothered by it," he disagreed. "Really. Give them some time. Besides, your family wasn't nearly as bad as you led me to believe they'd be. They actually all seemed pretty normal."

"Uh, huh. Interrogation with a loaded weapon. Completely normal," I said in a tone that said I thought he was a bit crazy himself.

Edward laughed shaking his head.

"And the way you talked," he added, "your sister was going to be like this super crazed fan or something. She wasn't like that at all."

"I have to say she completely floored me. I thought she was going to freak out screaming and go into hysterics—no exaggeration. But still, she completely _groped_ you!" I challenged.

"You know you're adorable when you're jealous?" he smirked.

"I'm not jealous, I'm embarrassed," I clarified.

Edward laughed like he didn't believe me. "Either way, your sister got excited and gave me a _hug_, she didn't _grope_ me. It wasn't like she nearly tackled me to the ground like someone else had, when I showed up at her doorstep a few days ago."

"That's different," I muttered, blushing deeply.

"Yes, it is," Edward conceded with a smile, grabbing ahold of my hand. "It's very different. And it's something I hope will never change."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that I hope you will always be that excited to see me," he explained. Then as if an afterthought, he tagged on, "Though it probably wouldn't be a good idea for you to jump on me like that when we're in our eighties, broken hips are terrible to recover from I hear, especially at that age."

Eighties? My heart did a flip.

"Eighties?" I breathed staring at his heartbreakingly beautiful face, feeling my breathing and heart pick up their pace as if trying to race one another.

"What? Does that frighten you?" Edward asked glancing over at me looking worried.

"No," I told him. "Not even a little."

Because it didn't.

XXXXX

"I am going to be a complete zombie tomorrow for work," I complained weightlessly as Edward, who had just climbed back into bed, dragged his fingers through my hair, pulling tendrils from my face and neck, and then began trailing soft kisses along the skin he exposed as I laid curled up facing away from him.

He hummed against my skin. "I'm not starting anything…this time," I could feel his smile against my neck. "I'm just enjoying this while I can," he corrected.

But the problem was my body was quick to respond to his electric touch, wanting more. Always wanting more.

I turned over, lying on my back.

"How long?" I asked looking up at him, my eyes meeting his. It was the question I had purposely been avoiding and refused to hear until that moment. I didn't want to know, but the time had come that now I needed to know.

Edward sucked in a breath and he squinted his eyes knowing exactly what I was asking. He sighed deeply.

"If you don't come to see me, it'll most likely be a few," he paused, swallowing hard, as if saying it was going to physically hurt him, "months."

My breath let out as if his words held the physical weight they felt emotionally. They landed hard on my chest, knocking the wind right out of me, weighing me down. I struggled to pull in my next breath as I choked on the lump in my throat and tears stung my eyes.

How was I ever going to survive _months_ without him?

There was a long stretch of silence that filled the space between us as I digested this fact. I stared into Edward's eyes in the dim light of my bedroom as he stared back into mine.

"You could come with me," he offered quietly, breaking the silence, beginning to draw designs on my skin with his finger.

"I can't," I managed to breathe out after a few beats.

Edward nodded looking like he'd held hope that I might have considered that option and now that hope was shattered. Disappointment colored every last feature of his face and it broke my heart seeing it there.

I wanted to fix it, to take away the pain I saw there in his eyes, but I couldn't just leave my friends, family, job... I couldn't leave who I was to tag along after him like some accessory without a personality or a life of their own. I couldn't give up being me. I wanted to go with him more than anything, but not if I had to sacrifice my identity. I knew Edward wasn't asking that, but I also knew that if I sloughed off my commitments here, to follow him around, it would happen. I'd only just _begun_ to realize who I was, what would I become if I abandoned it now?

"I want to Edward, I really do." He had no idea how badly I wanted to. "I just can't."

"It's okay," he murmured, forcing a small smile as he stroked my hair. "I know. I just had to ask."

I nodded, understanding. It was the same for me with wanting to ask him to stay; I knew he couldn't, and in a way I didn't want him to, because acting was a part of him. But yet I was selfish enough to want it anyway.

"Besides," I said, turning on my side, facing towards him, "you'll be so busy you wouldn't have time to see me anyhow." I'd said it to try to make myself feel better about not going, but not really succeeding.

He'd told me most days while he was filming were long and tedious where he'd spend all day on set, only having enough time at the end to maybe go over the scenes for the next day, before collapsing in bed until it was time to get up to do it all over again. I knew that my being there wouldn't work for that reason alone, but it still didn't make it any easier to stay.

"Well, not properly anyhow," he conceded as a flicker of mischief flashed through his eyes.

"I think the wrong person has been tagged as 'insatiable'," I teased, dragging my fingers down his chest and stomach, hoping to lighten the mood.

Edward caught my wrist when my fingers began to drift below his bellybutton, just before I reached him, and flashed me an impish smile.

"Oh no, love," he admonished, "we can't have you showing up to work a zombie, now can we?"

I looked up at him through my eyelashes and gave the best pouting face I could.

"Completely insatiable," he marveled, shaking his head at me. "At this rate, I think I'm going to _need_ the next few months just to recover from this weekend."

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes, trying to look mad at him for the comment; glad the darkened room hid my blush that would have ruined the little effect I succeeded with.

"Very impressive," Edward mock commended, sliding his hand along my face and tipping my chin up until my lips met his, kissing me tenderly for a moment and then pulled back.

"It's going to be completely miserable," he admitted with a sigh, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Yes, it will be," I agreed, my voice cracking, breaking through my barrier I'd been trying to hold up to prevent the realization of just how hard it was going to be without him from hitting me. I would have thought the knowledge that Edward loved me would make facing being apart easier—having that reassurance. But it wasn't easier at all.

"Bella," Edward said softly, his eyes intently locked with mine, beseeching. "I know you can't come with me for the entire time. I understand that. But would you at least reconsider letting me buy you a plane ticket to come see me, even if it's just for a day, even if it's just once."

I sighed, feeling my resolve on not letting him spend that kind of money on me weaken with the knowledge of just how long it was going to be until he could come back to see me again painfully fresh in my head. I knew that even if I could get off work for any amount of time, I didn't have the means to buy airfare to go to him because I'd exhausted my spending money to go to New York. I knew waiting months to see him again would be unbearable so I didn't see any other option but to concede.

"Okay," I whispered laying my hand on his cheek.

"You'll let me?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"Yes," I nodded and pulled him to me for a kiss. My fingers curved around his jaw and drew themselves along the underside of his jawline to his chin. Then my hand slid against the stubble that was breaking though from his shave earlier in the day, along the side of his neck and around the back of his head, my fingers twisting into his hair, grabbing a fistful.

My body seemed to be pulled by some invisible force that rolled my hips, pulling my body flush against him. I quickly found it wasn't enough and my leg began drifting over his.

Edward groaned and grabbed ahold of my thigh, hitching it higher and then pulling me over him as he rolled to his back.

"I'm going to miss you, Bella, so much," he breathed grasping my hips in his hands.

I sighed feeling downtrodden; missing him already

"I know. Me too," I told him. "I love you," I confessed as he slid his hands up along the sides of my body and hooked them around my shoulders, pulling me flush against him.

"I love you too," he murmured as his lips met the skin under my jaw, and began working their way down my neck, as his hands slid forward and curved around my breasts, gently pulling me up taking one into his mouth greedily.

Oh God.

And then the other.

A moan escaped my lips and Edward let out a groan in response that shot straight through me.

Edward slid his right hand down the length of my body and I pulled myself up off of him to allow room between us as he drifted it inward and between my legs.

I arched my back trying to press my chest against his mouth and rolled my hips, pressing myself against his hand, wanting more. Always wanting more. Needing more. Needing him. Just him. Always him.

I groaned with a mixture of pleasure and frustration. I needed him in me, but I didn't want to surrender his very talented hand.

Edward rolled me to my back, solving my conundrum for me by taking control. His lips trailed openmouthed kisses down the length of my body down to my hipbone. He then traveled across the sensitive skin at the juncture of the waist and over to the other hip. His hands pressed against the insides of my thighs, opening me up to him further as his lips trailed along the inside of my knee and began traveling inward.

Oh God.

I felt a strange twinge of conflict; Floozy Bella moaned and urged him on, while another part of me cringed at the memory of the one time in my life I'd experienced this before, distracting me from my want.

Angry at the reminder, I shoved aside the horrible memory that had me vowing "never again"; Floozy Bella hip-checking the image out of my head; finishing the job leaving me shocked but quite satisfied with myself.

Now with nothing left but want and Edward, I rolled my hips and begged for him to keep going in breathless pleads. Floozy Bella took a seat, letting me take over, with a proud look on her face.

I gasped as Edward's lips brushed against me.

When his tongue made its first sweep across me, I sounded out and my breathing turned heavy. He hummed at his first taste and the sound mixed with the vibration of his mouth pressed against my sex nearly sent me over with the intense feeling that burst through me. Instead, my body shivered with a burst of heat and I let out a deep throaty moan I couldn't have kept in if I wanted to.

I should have known it would be mind-blowing. It was Edward. It was us. It was everything. Just like all the rest.

After I came, he crawled up my body leaving another trail of kisses in his wake. When his lips met mine, they were rough with raw need and I could taste the tang of myself mixed in with the familiar taste of him as our tongues twisted together. I was surprised to find not only did I like it—the taste of me on him—even better than the taste of him alone, I found it was a huge turn-on.

We joined together one last time before falling asleep, exhausted, tangled up together. I knew morning would come too soon and it was only for one last night before a painfully long time apart, but I fell asleep feeling contented, because in that moment, I had him here with me and everything was perfect.

* * *

**Phew! Bella's family wasn't nearly as horrible as she had anticipated. I don't know about you but I'm relieved. ;)**

**Love to know what you think. Leave a review and let me know.**

**TJE**


	23. Chapter 23 Reality Bites

**Hi everyone. Sorry for the chapter delay. There were many reasons for the delay, but the biggest reason had to do with struggles with ongoing health issues and it's difficult to be creative when you're distracted or in pain. Thanks for understanding.**

**For all of your reviews, recs, alerts, communities and favorites, I can't thank you enough, but, THANK YOU.**

**Thanks MC for your beta skills and fantastic ideas, including the gift—floved it.**

**Also, I posted a short outtake, I'll tell you at the end of the chapter how to view it if you'd like to read it.**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. This all human story, however, is mine.**

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 23: Reality Bites**

Edward and I leaving one another again was hard. I had hoped it would be a bit easier facing time apart knowing that he loved me, but it wasn't. Somehow it seemed to make it worse. Three months was a scarily long time to be separated in any relationship, much less a new one or even more so, one as unique as ours.

Work had been brutal with trying to keep my mind from thinking about the fact that Edward was on his way to Atlanta to begin filming his newest movie; _Strange Days_. But not only that, more people seemed to be suspicious that I was the woman "Anthony" Cullen was seeing, making it even harder to not think about Edward and concentrate on work. Admittedly, I'd not accomplished much that day.

When I got home that evening, mentally and emotionally exhausted from my day, I headed straight for my bed. I plopped myself down dramatically, wanting to give into the temptation to just go to sleep so I could escape my reality and swim in my dreams where I could be with Edward no matter how far apart we were. Even if it was for just a little while. But when my head landed on the pillow, I felt a lump underneath it, intruding on the comfort I'd sought in my bed. I huffed as I sat up, ready to shove whatever it was, making me uncomfortable, aside so I could feel sorry for myself until my body succumbed to sleep.

I was surprised to find Edward's t-shirt that I had thrown on that morning when I crawled out of bed, and a Post-it note stuck to a blank CD jewel case:

_Bella,_

_I don't know if these will be anything more than this, but I wanted you to have them, because they're yours._

_Love,_

_Edward_

_PS – I loved how you looked in my shirt this morning. Incredibly sexy. I just had to leave it with you._

I brought the shirt up to my nose and closed my eyes as I breathed in the honey and sunshine smell of Edward. Suddenly my clothes felt restrictive and uncomfortable. I set down the CD case, pulled my clothes off, slipped on a pair of cloth shorts and pulled Edward's soft, cotton t-shirt over my head. I couldn't help but smile as Edward's scent enveloped me as the fabric glided over my face.

I hummed contentedly with the feel of Edward's shirt around me, picked the CD jewel case back up and brought it over to my stereo. I slid the disc in and pressed play. After a couple seconds of silence, a piano began playing. I recognized the melody instantly; it was the song Edward had played for me in his hotel room, the song he'd said he had just started at that time and one of the songs he'd played for me this weekend. After a few bars, Edward's rich, velvet voice began to sing the words.

My hand went up to my face, covering my mouth listening to Edward singing to me, singing a song that not only he recorded for me, but one that was apparently… mine.

My knees felt weak as I sank to the floor, tears instantly spilling over the rims of my eyes, overwhelmed with emotion. I sat there and listened to the whole thing, enraptured from beginning to end.

And then another began. This time it was Edward playing on his guitar—the words no less moving than the last, the song every bit as incredible.

And then another. And another.

My chest filled with warmth, loving him even more than I already did.

Six all together. Six songs. Six incredible songs. Most of them I knew, because he'd played them for me, right here in my apartment, but one of them, I didn't; the last one was new. Though whether I'd heard the song before or not, they all moved me just as much, his words saying that they were _mine_ staring back at me with the note in my hand. He'd written them for me. Inspired by me. About me.

I felt loved, cherished and completely unworthy of such a grand gesture.

Edward had alluded to the fact that he'd written them about me when playing some of the songs for me this weekend, but there was something concrete in seeing it written in his handwriting, that hit me and made it sink in.

When they were done, I pulled in a shaky breath, wiped my eyes and got up to find my phone so I could call him. I had no idea what I was going to say to him, but I needed to somehow tell him what they meant to me, how they made me feel, to thank him for something so beautiful. Somehow, I had to, despite the fact I felt like I couldn't even pull together a linear thought much less figure out how to articulate the… magnitude of emotion I felt with what he'd given me, but felt I needed to tell him.

"Hey there love," Edward's voice greeted me wrapped in a smile on the first ring. "I was just thinking about you. About to call you, actually," he amended, "figuring you were home from work by now."

"Edward," I breathed. I intended to say more but the words were stuck in my throat.

"Bella?" Edward's voice now alarmed. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I croaked, swallowed and tried to tell him something, anything. "Thank you. For the songs. They're incredible," I murmured because they were nothing short of incredible.

I heard him let out a breath of relief. "I'm glad you liked them," Edward murmured.

"No," I corrected. "I don't just like them. I love them. They're—." I broke off unable to conjure the words to describe just how I felt about them, the words stuck again hidden behind a veil in my head because there were no words adequate enough to articulate just how they made me feel. Instead my eyes began to spill over again with the emotions that flooded me when I thought about the songs. I sniffled as my nose decided to follow my eyes' lead. "Thank you," I choked out instead.

Edward let out a breathy laugh and I could almost guarantee he was running a hand through his unruly bronze hair.

I smiled with the fact that I knew that about him, as I wiped my cheeks and tried to settle the swell of emotion that had washed over me.

"My mistake," he offered. "I stand corrected. I'm glad you _love_ them."

I laughed at Edward's correction and at myself for crying.

"How was your day?" Edward asked after a beat of silence, changing the subject, knowing I'd want him to.

I bit my lip and smiled that he knew that.

"Absolutely terrible. Hell actually. Yours?" I asked; my voice still thick with tears.

"Wretched," he laughed. "Though tomorrow will be worse because I'm positive I'm not going to sleep decent tonight. My body is too accustomed to sleeping wrapped up around you now; it just won't feel right without you beside me."

"Will it help knowing I'm wearing your shirt right now?" I asked.

Edward hummed. "Maybe leaving that behind was a bad idea," he groaned. "I think that's just going to keep me up, torturing me with that image."

"I can send it to you if that will help," I offered.

"No, keep it. I think I like the torture," he laughed.

"Good," I said relieved, not really wanting to give up the shirt.

"Good you like me tortured?"

"No," I laughed. "Good because I like the shirt. It smells like you," I admitted.

"That must mean I don't stink. That's good," he teased.

"Definitely not," I laughed. "Plus it makes me feel like you're still here."

"I wish it was me there instead of the shirt," Edward confessed with a heavy sigh.

"Mmm, you without a shirt; I like it," I mused wantonly.

"You really aren't making this any easier being apart from you," he teasingly chastised.

After I hung up with Edward, I walked back over to the stereo and began playing Edward's songs all over again. In the middle of song three—just before my favorite part—there was a knock at my door.

My heart jerked and then raced at the split second wonder if it was Edward surprising me again. I quickly chastised myself for the thought even flashing through my head, knowing it couldn't possibly be Edward.

I got up and walked over to the door hoping whoever it was would be quick because I wanted to get back to Edward's voice.

"Hey you little brat," Jacob said in an apologetic voice when I answered the door.

"Hey you big jerk," I replied blandly, staring at him holding the door open only enough for me to stand, blocking him from coming in. While he still behaved better than I figured he was going to the night before, and Edward said he wasn't bothered by it, I still was upset with him for acting rude to Edward.

"Can I come in?" he asked tentatively. Jake never had to ask, but he asked tonight because he knew he was on fragile ground with me.

I stood there and thought about it for a minute, in debate, wanting to get back to listening to Edward's voice and trying to gauge whether or not he had come over to give me another lecture, because if that was what I was signing myself up for by letting him in, I wasn't going to. I didn't need another lecture or more of his negative assumptions about Edward. Besides, jumping down my throat with his assumptions was one thing, being unnecessarily rude to Edward was another and he needed to know I wasn't okay with it.

"Come on, Bells," Jake pleaded with a sigh and rolled his eyes. "Don't be like that."

"Edward's not here for you to sneer at for no reason and I'm not really in the mood for another lecture from you right now," my words coming out even more tersely than I'd intended from my miserable day, and miserable forecast for the next few months without Edward, but I didn't need for Jake to tell me I was stupid again too.

"I didn't come to sneer and no lecture," Jake said quietly taking in the way I looked—which was probably red, blotchy and miserable—holding his hands up in surrender. "I promise."

I reluctantly opened the door further and stepped aside, letting him in and then sat down on the couch, curling up on the end and pulling the fabric of Edward's t-shirt to my nose. I smiled despite myself at the scent the fabric still clung onto.

"Want something?" Jake asked holding up a bottle of beer he'd grabbed from my fridge for himself.

"Sure."

Jake opened the beers and walked over to where I sat, but three of the photographs Alice had given me, that sat framed next to my computer, caught his eye. He stopped, looking at them for a moment.

"Who are all the people?" he asked pointing to the one picture. "Well, other than Edward and the _Army Force _dude Rose hooked up with."

I didn't miss that despite his placating tone and promise to get me to let him in the apartment, his voice still held a resentful tone when saying Edward's name.

"You mean Edward's brother Emmett?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

"Their parents, sister and brother-in-law," I replied. "And me, obviously," I tacked on.

Jake looked a moment longer before taking a deep breath and sighed heavily.

"Look Bells," he said looking up at me, "I owe you an apology." He walked the rest of the way over to the couch, handed me a beer and sat down next to me, taking a drink of his.

I raised my eyebrows and took a drink of my beer. I knew I was being ungenerous but he didn't have to treat me like a child or treat Edward with such unfounded distain.

"I jumped to conclusions and wouldn't consider any other scenario," he continued. "I just don't want to see you go through what you had to with James again. I know that's not really an excuse, but it's the truth. It killed me watching you go through that."

"I know," I conceded with a sigh, because I did know. I didn't like Jacob's approach, but I knew that was his intent—protecting me. "You were just doing what you've done your whole life; looking out for me. But this time, you took it too far. I mean, I can handle you, but that was not okay to act like that to Edward, no matter what you assumed. He's not like James; he really is a good guy, Jake."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and not listening to you. I shouldn't have blown up," he said. "At either of you," he added.

"At either of us?" I asked taken aback, confused by what he meant.

Oh, maybe he meant both Rose and me when he'd picked us up from the airport. I opened my mouth to validate my theory but Jake spoke before I could.

"He didn't say anything?" Jake breathed, baffled.

He?

Wait. What? Jake blew up at Edward? My anger at my brother flared back up immediately**.**

"I take that as a no," he said seeing my face go red with anger.

"What did you do?"

"Accused him of some things, tried to scare him," he admitted.

"Dammit Jacob! What the hell!"

"Come on Bella!" he huffed standing up, towering over me in agitation and defense. "Some of the stuff I read that's out there about him doesn't exactly make him seem like a guy you should get involved with," he defended.

"Right, because everything you read is true," I spat sarcastically. "Take the stories I've read about me since I came back from New York, speculating who I am. One article I read said I was Edward and Emmett's long lost sister. Another said I was the mother of Edward's baby and had tracked him down to get him to pay child support. And another said I was his new personal assistant slash plaything. So, going by your theory, I guess Edward and I had an incestuous relationship that resulted in a lovechild, am now working for him and blowing him for good measure. I hope Mike isn't mad at me for not giving him any notice of leaving the company."

"Look," Jake said trying to make peace. "I said I'm sorry! And, while I still don't trust him yet, I realized that I'm going to have to just trust _you_ to know what you're getting into because, as much as _I_ don't want you to have to go through what you did again, I know that _you_ want it even less. So, if you don't think he's like that, I'll work on trying to believe that too."

"Thanks," I said semi-sarcastically. "For—you know—finally remembering I'm grown up and have maybe learned from my past mistakes," I said giving him a pointed look.

Jake rolled his eyes at me. Then he plopped back down beside me.

I sighed, and sat there for a moment until my petulance had drained before I said anything else.

"Don't let this give you any ideas, go to your head or make you think acting like a complete and total _ass_ was okay, because it wasn't," I qualified after a few moments of silence, "but it _is_ nice to know you care that much about me."

I nudged his shoulder with mine.

"Anytime you little brat," he said softly nudging my shoulder back and smiled one of his big Jacoby smiles.

XXXXX

It was Wednesday, two days after Edward left—not that I was counting—and it was also his birthday.

It felt wrong that I wasn't with him for it. It was his first birthday that we were together and I was thousands of miles apart from him. Instead of spending the day with him, or planning something for us to do together that night, all I could do was send him a text to tell him "happy birthday" because I couldn't get ahold of him on his phone. I'd called when I'd gotten up for work, but Atlanta is four hours ahead of Port Angeles in time, so he was already unreachable, probably working on a scene or something.

I understood it, but it still… sucked.

I walked into my apartment after work, threw my phone and keys on the table and headed over to the computer to check to see if the gift I'd bought Edward had arrived at his hotel yet. Then I turned on the CD that Edward had left under my pillow for me.

The sound of a piano filled my apartment, followed by Edward's velvet voice a few bars later. His voice was beautiful, powerful and enigmatic; it was a voice that was made to be heard and marveled at by the world, but no one knew it, and no one probably ever would.

I smiled at the memory of Edward playing the start of that very song to me in his hotel room in New York. And what followed.

The next thing I knew bittersweet tears began pooling in my eyes. Hearing Edward's voice made me both extremely happy and painfully sad at the same time. I needed to hear his voice to feel like he was still there with me, like he had just been a few nights before when he played for me in my bed, but hearing his voice also shot a sharp pain through my chest. On top of that, there were the lyrics he'd written. Knowing they were for me—that he'd written them with me in mind, written how he'd felt about me—was an overwhelming feeling. I didn't feel worthy of such a grand tribute, and it never failed to blow me away, no matter how times I listened to the songs. But the sound of conviction in Edward's voice, as he sang the words he'd written, said that he felt I absolutely and undoubtedly was nothing short of worthy.

I sat down and stared at the framed photographs on my desk that Alice had given me the other day, as my computer woke up. One was of Edward, looking especially heartbreaking, with his arm around me. I marveled at the fact that I didn't look like the extremely plain woman that had always greeted me in the mirror my whole life. It seemed especially surprising I didn't look ordinary with someone as strikingly handsome as Edward next to me. Instead, I looked closer to the stranger I tried to find in the mirror just before we had left Carlisle and Esme's earlier that same night. I couldn't help but smile at Edward in the photo, looking like he thought _he_ was the lucky one. The second picture was one of me with Alice and Emmett. I laughed remembering Emmett and how he had gotten upset after Edward had taken a picture of Alice and me, per her request, and then set down the camera on the table. Emmett told his siblings that it wasn't fair that he didn't get a "photo op with the little spinner girl" too and made Edward take another picture of me with him in it that time. The last framed photograph was the one of Edward's whole family with their genuinely happy smiles that seemed to come from simply being together. It was my favorite of the three. In that one, Edward and I weren't looking at the camera, but at each other, not realizing the person taking the picture was ready, giving secret smiles that screamed the words that neither of us had said out loud to one another yet.

My fingers dragged down the group photograph wishing I could reach through and relive that moment all over again.

I sighed and picked up the stack of all the other snapshots Alice had given me from that night, laughing despite myself when I got to the one of Emmett and me. Right after the picture of Alice, Emmett and me, Emmett had swiftly pulled me onto his lap saying something about an exclusive picture. Edward quickly snapped the camera, capturing my surprise and Emmett's playfully mischievous laughter.

It had only been a few days since that night, but it felt like it had been an eternity, like it was something far away and not quite reachable. But I realized that fact shouldn't surprise me because there was something about Edward that made everything around him feel like a fairytale; like something that I'd wake up from and find it had only been an amazing dream.

At this moment, as I sat sifting through snapshots in front of my computer, I had him all around me—his voice, his music, his photographs—but he was nowhere to be found; evanescent.

I took a deep breath to clear my thoughts as I set down the photos, opened the browser, pulled up the website and entered the tracking information. My stomach fluttered with a round of nerves seeing the status indicated, "Delivered" with a time stamp of 2:17 pm that day.

I steeled myself with the reminder that just because the package had arrived at his hotel, didn't mean he had it—I didn't know if he was even back to the hotel yet from the set.

Or that he'd even like it.

I felt my stomach knot with worry that he would hate the gift and feel like he had to tell me he liked it anyway. My worry was fed with the fact that I'd had no idea what to get him. For one, he was a person who was want for nothing. But also, I knew I still had a lot to learn about him.

What I had ended up deciding on giving Edward was a beautiful looking leather journal I'd found online and had the leather embossed with his initials in the corner. I thought he could use it to write his songs in as they came to him, especially if he didn't have an instrument handy.

I felt nervous enough about the gift anyway, but even more so because I didn't get to see it first to make sure it actually was as nice in reality as it had appeared on the site. But I didn't have any other choice but to send it to him blindly. I barely had enough time to get it to him on his birthday shipping it directly to his hotel, so I just had to use blind faith that it was as nice as it appeared on the site.

This morning I had called the hotel. After passing all the security steps proving I wasn't some crazed fan or the media and actually someone Edward had cleared to know his whereabouts, I'd let them know that a package should arrive sometime during the day for him. Then I instructed them to open the shipping box—as I'd had the journal giftwrapped—and if he wasn't back to the hotel yet, to put the wrapped package inside it, in his room.

It felt uncomfortable, task managing another person like that, but the man made it seem like it wasn't the slightest trouble, saying he was more than happy to help. Actually the man had even asked me if I wanted to have him include a note with the package. I was rather glad he'd mentioned it because I hadn't thought about it. But after he had, it seemed obvious; I mean Edward should know who the gift came from.

A new song began playing on the CD, filling my apartment with the sound of a guitar.

I closed the browser and went to my bedroom to slip on a comfy pair of cloth pants and Edward's t-shirt. I again sucked in a deep breath as I pulled the shirt over my head, inhaling the honey and sunshine smell of him that lingered on the fabric, noticing the scent was already fading. I held the fabric up to my nose and took another deep breath trying to get as much of my drug as I could while it lasted.

My phone sang out with what had been my newest favorite song, until I heard the songs Edward had given me, but those weren't available for ringtones. I walked back into the living room, paused the CD and then walked over to the table to grab my phone.

My heart leapt. It was Edward.

Nerves assaulted my stomach with fears about him receiving his present.

"Happy Birthday Edward," I greeted, smiling despite my nerves.

Edward let out a long humming sigh. "It's so good to hear your voice, love," he said, a smile evident in his voice.

"I guess I have the advantage there, I've already been listening to yours," I admitted.

"Funny you should mention that," Edward said breathing a laugh. "I sent a copy of those songs to Dem and Felix to see if they wanted to include any of them for their next album. Dem texted me today saying something like, 'these are some brilliant songs man,'" he said, slipping into an impression of Dem's voice, "'but whoever turned you into a sappy little pansy needs to piss you the fuck off because we can't have an entire album full of this,'" Edward laughed more hardily.

"I guess… I'll work on that?" I said laughing with him.

"I'm glad to know you're willing to sacrifice for the greater good," Edward joked. After a beat, he continued. "So I just got into my room and found something lying at the foot of my bed that looks a lot like a present," he said in a playful tone. My heart began to pound. "And there's a note on top that says it's from… _you_."

"Interesting."

"Interesting is right," he agreed. I could hear the smile in his voice. "I thought I told you all I wanted from you for my birthday was to spend the weekend with you, and I already got that."

"And I told you that I wanted to get you something for your birthday," I reminded him stubbornly, noticing my voice quavered lightly with nerves begging him to just get it over with and tell me if he hated it or not. I took a deep breath to try to settle them.

"Yes, that you did," he admitted. "So, in that case, I guess I should open it then, since you're not here to watch me open it. Unless, that is, you are…?" he asked sounding hopeful.

He hadn't seen it yet? Suddenly I felt a lot of pressure for this gift to be perfect. I could feel my blood pressure rise.

"No, it's just the package, I'm still here in Port Angeles," I admitted sadly.

"Hmmm," the sound was filled with disappointment. Then he took a breath and continued. "Well I have to say, I'm impressed you were able get something delivered not just to the hotel but onto the foot of my bed. I believe someone here at the hotel must be a fan of yours," he teased.

"I told you that you'd be amazed with the things I can do," I quipped, trying to shake my nerves, glad he couldn't see me. I was certain my cheeks were cherry red.

"You did. And I am. Every day," he said. Then I could hear the sound of paper rustling and crinkling as he removed the wrapping paper.

My heart raced.

I heard the sound of cardboard paper scraping against each other; he was opening the box.

I held my breath.

Next came the sound of tissue paper shuffling and crumpling. Then nothing.

I closed my eyes, though I wasn't exactly sure why.

"I thought you could use it as a music journal of sorts; you know to write down your songs," I blurted, the words spilling out when I released the breath I'd been holding, trying to save him from giving an instant reaction.

"Bella, this is…" he trailed off. "It's beautiful. I love it," his words dripping with sincerity.

"Really?" I asked scrunching my nose, regretting the question instantly. I wasn't sure I really _wanted_ to know if he really meant what he'd said.

"Yeah, really," Edward breathed. "You had my initials put on it," he said noticing the detail, sounding like he'd liked that.

"Yeah, I wanted to personalize it for you but I didn't want to use your name, for obvious reasons, so I figured I'd use your initials," I babbled feeling I sounded lame.

"You put a lot of thought into this" he marveled.

"Well, as much thought as I could with the short notice I was given," I couldn't help but tease him, feeling myself relax a little.

"Thank you Bella, it's perfect," he breathed sounding completely sincere.

"You're welcome, Happy Birthday Edward. I love you," I murmured, smiling.

"I love you too, Bella."

XXXXX

Rose came over that Saturday and practically dragged me out of the apartment to shed Edward's shirt that no longer smelled like him and go to a kickboxing class with her. I'd not seen her or barely even talked to her all week. I really hadn't done much of anything outside of go to work, which wasn't too productive with half the day seeming to be spent on dodging questions from suspicious, over-curious co-workers and everywhere else I went it felt like eyes were on me, speculating and wondering if I was the woman seen with "Anthony" Cullen. It felt like I wore a sign that said, "It's me!". So I stayed at home, wrapped up in Edward's shirt, listening to him singing in his velvety voice.

I was pathetic. I knew this, but damn it I didn't much care. I missed him so much it hurt, so I immersed myself in the things that made the pain a little less.

As much as I complained and resisted, if I was being honest, I had to admit that I was grateful for Rose kicking me in the ass to pull me out of my doldrums, because I needed it. I needed to stop wallowing because, while it seemed to dull the ache from missing Edward, I knew all it really was doing was highlighting and underlining the fact he wasn't there. And, if this was going to be way of life for us for a while, I needed to find a way to deal with it that didn't isolate me from the functioning world. I needed a distraction and Rose knew it and she also knew I wasn't going to be able to yank myself out of my wallowing.

She'd done it after James and there she was, doing it again because that's what Rose did.

We went to class, grabbed a late lunch and got caught up. I thought she was going to drive off the road when I told her Edward told me he loved me. And of course she knew before I even told her, that I loved him too. I also told her all about Edward and Emmett's family, how it went when I showed up with Edward to pizza night with mine and how Jake had come over the following night and apologized.

In turn, Rose told me how Royce flipped out when he'd gotten wind of her vacation tryst with Emmett. They had a huge argument about it. Royce apparently got on her about how the picture of her and Emmett at the concert made her look, saying something about how she was going to have a hard time explaining _that_ to Henry when he got older.

"I don't know what bug crawled up his ass and died; it was a picture of me kissing a guy. It wasn't like it was a sex video for Christ's sake," Rose spat.

"Maybe it's because he still has feelings for you," I offered.0

Rose let out a scornful laugh. "No, it all started because Royce had Henry on Friday, but he swung back to my place because Henry forgot his blanket and couldn't sleep. Emmett got to the door before I could."

"So that _was_ where Emmett disappeared to!" I said. "But wait. So Emmett answered the door to your place? Why would that matter?"

"He didn't have a shirt on," she admitted.

"Okay, that makes it maybe a little more awkward, but..." I trailed off, still not understanding the reason for Royce to get so upset other than my theory that he still had feelings for her.

"After Royce recovered from his shock at who answered my door," she continued, "and got the blanket, he got all high-and-mighty and made some sarcastic comment about the 'great' example I was setting for our son," Rose's anger at the insinuation was obvious. "Then the next day he came back while his mom had taken Henry to the park. He was a total fucking dick. After his run-in with Emmett, he'd gone online that night and found all the pictures from New York. He told me I made myself look like a slut and how it was going to make Henry embarrassed to call me his mother. What an ass. I should 'accidentally' upload a compromising photograph of him to the internet just to get to tell him to try to explain _that_ to Henry.

"I won't. But I should," she added after a few beats of silence. "I mean really, how old is he? Seventeen for Christ's sake? What an asshole."

"So what happened with Emmett?" I prompted.

"Besides the obvious?" she qualified.

I nodded.

"I told him I'd think about it," she said. "God help me I want to. But I can't see how it could work."

I winced. That remark stung.

"I didn't mean it like it sounded," Rose said quickly, seeing my reaction. "I meant I can't see how it could work for me. I'm in a different situation than you are with a kid to think about."

"Yeah, I know," I said, knowing that was what she meant, but her words still prickled at me because I knew the odds were stacked against Edward and me. "And while I know you're trying to think about Henry, but how do you think he'd feel when he's grown up, if he finds out that you missed out on your chance at happiness with a guy, passing it up because of him?"

"You don't know that," she retorted, but her words were thin.

"No I don't know that for sure, but are you really willing to _wonder_ the rest of your life?"

XXXXX

"Meet me in LA?" Edward asked, his words sounding more like a plea than a question when he called me during a break on set a couple weeks later. He'd been gone almost three weeks; I swear it felt like three years.

I was ready to meet him anywhere not caring if work would say okay or not and it wasn't just because the media found out who I was. Now instead of speculating glances and suspicious whispers, it was abrasive attention and full on gossip. Plus it was like the media had dug up every last minute of my life, twisted it and then published it for the world to see and judge. And judge they did.

Sigh.

Edward, after making sure I was okay with it, finally answered the incessant requests from the media, now that they knew my name, to comment on what I was to him. He had his Publicist release a statement saying that he and I were indeed together.

_He released a statement about our relationship status to the press._ I marveled at how completely bizarre it sounded, but at the same time somehow made it all seem official in some strange way that everything else hadn't yet.

"When?" I asked, getting my mind back to Edward's question. I could feel my heart pick up its rhythm at the mention of LA. I could do LA. LA meant I shouldn't have to beg, borrow and steal an entire week of vacation or quit my job to be able to see him before he was done filming.

"A week from Tuesday," he said, a smile of excitement in his voice. The same excitement I could feel rising up in me at that moment. "_Love of Ire_ is having their Premiere and they've agreed to release me on good behavior."

I laughed. "You make it sound like you've been held against your will or something."

"It kind of feels like I am," he admitted laughing with me and I knew he was running his hand through his hair. "Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but I'm having the hardest time being away from you. God, I miss you, Bella."

"I know the feeling," I breathed.

"So meet me in LA."

"How long are you going to be there?"

"Just a day," he admitted. "I'm going to fly over Tuesday afternoon, going to the airport straight from the set and have to fly back Wednesday evening to be back on set Thursday morning. Apparently the longest they can survive without me is a day-and-a-half."

"I'll make it work," I promised knowing it should be easier to get a couple of days in the middle of the week off than Fridays and Mondays.

Who was I kidding? I was almost to the point of doing something rash and saying to hell with work. I found myself seriously questioning if I'd be able to live away from Edward like this again and I was finding it becoming almost impossible to convince myself I could keep doing it, which meant I had some serious thinking to do before he went away again to wherever he would be off to next.

"I was really hoping you'd say that," he said with a smile in his voice. "I already had Irena book everything for you."

"Edward," I began to admonish.

"You said you'd let me pay for you to come see me," he pointed out smugly.

"I did," I admitted sullenly, though I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

"Yes, love, you did," he repeated victoriously.

"Yeah, well you seem to be my weakness," I told him. "Plus missing you has made me a little crazy."

"I know what you mean," Edward agreed.

"Well, I guess Rose will get to take me shopping," I said realizing I had nothing to wear to a movie Premiere, I didn't even know what I _should_ wear.

"No need. Alice has already insisted that she'll take care of that."

"I guess I should talk to her about that then," I said. "She doesn't need to do that."

"Actually, I think it's already done," Edward admitted sheepishly. "Besides there's really no point in reasoning or arguing with Alice, I learned that years ago."

"But she doesn't have to—"

"Trust me Bella, she _wants_ to."

"Okay then, I guess," I said, having a hard time conceding to gifts of any kind.

"Good. It's settled then," Edward said and I could hear his smile. "I'll tell Irena to send you the details. I have to get back but I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah, I'll call you when I get home from work."

After we said our goodbyes and "I love yous", I set down my phone, letting the feeling of happiness fill every last bit of me; soaking in the feeling for a moment before I came back down to earth. I felt I radiated with my happiness. I needed to see Edward. And in just over a week, I would.

* * *

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**Curious about Jacob and Edward's exchange of words? I posted that short outtake separately as it didn't fit in the flow of the story like the last one had. You can access it here: http: / / www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7799303/1/ **

**(Just delete spaces and replace the "(dot)"s with periods.) Or by going to ****my profile page.**

**The black leather journal was MC's brilliant find. Here's a link to it: ****http:/ / www(dot)aspinaloflondon(dot)com/eshop-catalogue/albums-and-books/leather-journals-and-notebooks/italian-wrap-leather-journals/italian-wrap-extra-large-leather-journal **

**(Just replace the (dot)s with periods.) Thanks again for that, MC, it was absolutely perfect.**


	24. Chapter 24 The Premiere

**Hi everyone. MC just sent me an email letting me know that The Trip has been NOMINATED for The Hidden Star Award of "Hottest Lemon"!**

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**Voting is only this weekend (February 10-12) so head over there now and vote for The Trip. Copy and paste the link below into your browser, take out the spaces and replace the (dot)s with periods to get to the site. To see all the nominees, click the "Nominees" tab at the top. The Trip is under the "Hottest Lemon" section. TO VOTE: Click the "Vote" tab at the top.**

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**Thank you again to whoever nominated The Trip. XOXOXOXO**

**I hurried up and finished getting Chapter 24 ready to post as a thank you. So here it is. (Thanks MC for betaing and thanks to all of you reading, reviewing & recing.)**

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. This AH version of events is mine.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 24: The Premiere**

My flight landed at LAX just after noon. I was so excited to see Edward that I felt like I was going to begin bouncing off the walls. Actually it felt more like I was a drug addict twitching uncontrollably from withdrawal of a highly addictive drug, because I was and my highly addictive drug was Edward. I was so close to seeing him again, I could almost smell him, taste him, feel him.

Hmmm.

I made my way across the airport with my carry-on luggage. Despite my argument, Edward had a car pick me up at the airport. A man with a suit and hat greeted me, smiling warmly. He insisted on taking my small carry-on bag despite the fact that I told him I could do it myself. He then led me to the car. Well, I thought it was going to be a car, but it was actually a small limo.

I shook my head, sighed petulantly and weightlessly cursed Edward in my head. He knew I didn't want silly extravagances. I didn't need them.

I slipped into the limo, feeling out of place—especially when I was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans—then the driver closed the door behind me. I sent Edward a text, so when he landed he'd know I had arrived without issue, as the driver began navigating the busy highways taking me to Alice—apparently she had staked claim over me for the next several hours until the Premiere.

I groaned at the thought. I was in for an afternoon of make-up, hair and dresses. It slightly soured my excitement to see her because it wasn't my kind of idea of fun, and I didn't need to be doted on and fawned over.

The driver stopped in front of a glass-front salon and spa. I grabbed my phone, shoved it in my purse and then went to grab the handle, but the driver was faster, already opening the door for me.

I mumbled an awkward thank you as Alice came bounding out the door of the place.

"Bella!" she greeted excitedly with her signature bubbly smile and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

"Hi Alice," I laughed hugging her back lightly.

"Come on!" she said, her eyes wide and lit up with excited anticipation as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the spa.

I was about to protest that I needed to get my bag, but the driver already had retrieved it and was following behind us, bag in hand.

Alice chippered at me the entire afternoon as we both got massages, manicures, pedicures, hair, make-up and several other things I wanted to protest to, but didn't. I knew it would be futile to argue, so I just did my best to enjoy my time with Alice and not get hung up on all the things I really didn't need.

After we were done at the spa, Alice took me to her studio. Even as a person who was fashion challenged, like I was, it was an impressive thing seeing all the remarkable creations she had designed that were on display; she was truly talented.

"Ready?" Alice asked beaming, looking like she was about to burst when we made it to the back of the place that contained large tables filled a variety of things like sketches, fabric and pencils.

"Ready for what?" I asked stupidly, feeling like I should know what she was referring to.

"To see the dress I made for you," she said like it should have been obvious. Admittedly, after she'd said it, I realized it _should_ have been obvious. "I just did the finishing touches to it last night. I hope you like it."

"Alice, you really didn't need to do that," I began but she cut me off, rolling her eyes.

"You really are going to have to get used to people doing things for you," she admonished. "It's in the Cullen DNA. Besides, anyone who was able to crack through my brother's cynical view on relationships is more than worthy of anything I could ever do for her."

I was a bit confused by her statement, but my confusion was overridden by her affectionate words. I felt my face flush with warmth from my blush as a result, causing Alice's smile to radiate brighter than before. My eyes turned down and I bit my lip, embarrassed, though I wasn't exactly sure why.

"To be honest, I still don't understand why he even looked twice at me," I confessed. "Much less why he loves me."

"He's right; you really don't see yourself clearly, do you?" Alice said making me look back up at her dark brown eyes, seeing her shake her head with a small disbelieving smile. "We'll work on that," she added narrowing her eyes at me. "But first, the dress," she beamed again.

I couldn't help but giggle at the way her eyes lit up and sparkled with the mention of clothing.

"That's the spirit!" she cheered, clapping. And then she pulled back a curtain that divided the room, revealing a beautiful, deep blue colored dress that was so rich and bold, it looked silky, but yet wasn't overly dressy.

"Alice," I breathed, looking over at her and then back at the dress.

"Put it on," she prompted, shooing me toward the dress and then pulled the curtain between us.

I slipped the dress over my body, zipping it up my side, marveling in the feel of it. It fit like she'd had a mold of my body when she made it. I'd never felt so comfortable in a dress in all my life, not to mention how stunning it looked; it really was incredible.

"Well?" she prompted from the other side of the curtain.

"It's beautiful," I told her honestly.

Alice pulled the curtain aside and beamed when she looked at me.

"You like it?" she confirmed.

"I love it, it's perfect," I nodded earnestly, tears of gratitude welling in my eyes. I actually did love it.

Me. Loving a dress. That was new.

"Don't cry!" she said, grabbing a tissue and shoving it at me. "You'll ruin your make-up!"

I dabbed my eyes, realizing only after she'd said it that I was on the verge of crying and began laughing at myself for getting emotional, feeling stupid for crying over something so trifle. The thing was though; I was already an emotional mess from being away from Edward for a month and anything on top of that seemed to elicit quick tears.

"I can't believe you made this for me, Alice. It's… wow," I marveled looking back to the mirror feeling beautiful just being in it. The front cut straight across my chest and then angled in as it made its way up to my neck with short feminine cap sleeves. The dress hugged me as it trailed down my body and fell a few inches above the knee. The skirt of the dress had a slit a few inches long running up the front of my right thigh, hidden by a small ruffle that ran up the front, right side, peaking out only when I walked.

"I picked the color because I knew it would set off your light skin tone," she explained. "It looks even better on you than I imagined!" She smiled the same satisfied, glowing smile she gave me when I had on the red dress, looking like she was about to start clapping and jumping up and down. Then she added, "Though, it would have been hard to make something that didn't look fantastic on you," as if it was an obvious fact.

"Thank you, Alice," I murmured, blushing again with her words, biting back my kneejerk reaction to correct her; that plenty of things looked far less than fantastic on me. But the strange thing was, when I stared at my reflection, I could see the woman in the mirror I'd seen in glimpses at the Cullen house and in the pictures Alice gave me staring back at me now. I couldn't help but smile, realizing she was starting to become familiar; that she was becoming a little less of a stranger and a little more a part of me.

I smiled at my reflection despite myself.

"Here," Alice said handing me a pair of heels.

I slipped them on, not even wanting to know how much they'd cost, and surveyed the whole look.

"Perfect," she said satisfied. "Okay. So tonight," Alice instructed as she fiddled with the dress and looked at my reflection with me, "there will be a lot of cameras, a lot of noise and a lot of questions. It's completely chaotic; especially since you'll be next to Edward the whole time because they're all going to be trying to get his attention. Try not to get overwhelmed, Edward will help you navigate through it," she assured me. I nodded and took a deep breath, already feeling overwhelmed, despite her assurances, trying to keep me from feeling that way. "The media that are there will likely ask you some questions too because of showing up with him and the recent confirmation that you're together. Answer only what you're comfortable with. Short, concise answers are all you need to give them. Simply just smile and look away if you don't want to give one—it sounds rude, but it's really the best way to handle it because if you say anything about not wanting to answer a question, no matter what you say or how you say it, they'll find a way to spin it into a scandal. Edward will help steer the person to another question or move on. The questions they ask you will likely revolve around your relationship, but they'll also almost certainly ask you what you're wearing, just tell them you're wearing 'a one of a kind _Mary Alice_'."

I looked at her confused.

"Mary Alice is my actual name, but more importantly, my designer name," she giggled at the fact I didn't know that.

"What is it with your family and going by different names?" I pondered aloud.

"It's our way of being dark and mysterious," Alice said dipping her voice deeper for effect and the laughed at her own joke. "Oh and one more thing; don't forget to call Edward _'Anthony'_ when you're not alone."

"Right," I said nodding, a bit overwhelmed by all the information she'd just unloaded on me

"Don't worry. You'll do great," she assured me.

XXXX

The limo arrived to pick me up from Alice's studio a short time later; a larger one this time with windows so dark, they looked as black as the body of the car. It was to pick up Edward after me and then head to the Premiere. I thanked Alice again as she gave me one last hug before I hurried out to the limo. I nearly fell—catching my shoe on the lip of the doorway in my haste to see Edward because the faster I got in that limo, the faster the driver could take me to him—but was able to recover preventing the ruin of Alice's dress and my becoming a bloody mess.

I mumbled a thank you to the driver when he took my suitcase and opened the door for me.

"It sure is good to see you, beautiful," Edward's velvety voice greeted me as I slid into the seat.

"Edward!" I exclaimed in surprise and launched myself at him. I took a deep breath of his honey and sunshine scent, relishing in the trill of electricity that came from his touch, humming in contentment with the feel of his arms slipping around me, pulling me into him, swimming in the feel of his soft, full lips kissing mine and marveling at the delicious way he tasted.

An overpowering feeling washed over me that told me I was home. It was a feeling that answered why I had been struggling so much with being away from him since he'd left. I knew now, without a doubt, that I was exactly where I needed to be and that place was wherever Edward was. Everything aligned in my world and it was perfect and right again, the world settling back into its axis making me want to never leave that moment.

It didn't take long, though, until it wasn't enough just sitting next to him and I turned, sliding my legs astride him, my dress bunching up around my hips. His hands moved to my thighs, touching my exposed skin, sending a flash of warmth through me from his electric touch and settling deep into my core. I cried out in want as he slid his hands up my thighs to my hips bunching the dress up further as he grabbed them firmly.

"God, I've missed you," I murmured between kisses, humming in contentment as I slid my fingers through his soft, unruly hair.

"I missed you too, love. So much," Edward said and then pulled my hips forward roughly, bucking his hips, sending a thrill through my entire body as if showing me how much he missed me too.

Oh God I wanted him. I needed him.

My hands slid down over him, moving to unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper. I held myself up while he pulled out a condom, and shoved his pants and underwear down, out of the way, but not surrendering his lips.

When he got it in place, he trailed his fingers along the side of my underwear, drawing them to the side, exposing me and slipped a finger inside me, soliciting a moan to escape my lips. I was so wired, just that nearly threw me over; realizing how close I was, he didn't surrender his hand. Instead, he slipped in another finger, making me cry out again, and massaged me expertly with his thumb and fingers until I came. I was still coming down when he slid his hand out of the way and pushed himself into me.

He let out a moan matching my cry of pleasure and relief I felt when we connected, and we both took a couple of deep, almost ragged breaths.

"I'm not going to be able to last long," he warned; his voice dark with desire, "especially not after watching that."

I kissed him fervently, our tongues moving together in tandem, and began rocking my hips, making him groan in pleasure at the feeling.

"I don't care," I breathed, because I didn't. "I just need you." It was nothing short of the truth, I needed him, needed this, no matter how long it lasted. Besides, he felt so good, I knew I wasn't going to last long either. I could feel it; I was almost there again. My body soaked up the feel of him; vibrated with my want.

I moved faster, chasing the high I sought.

Oh God.

Almost there.

It feels so—

"Mr. Cullen," a man's voice came through the speakers.

I stopped mid movement in surprise, looking around in panic as Edward let out a growl of a groan in frustration and threw his head back against the headrest of his seat, pinching the bridge of his nose. I didn't think to check if anyone could see or hear us or even thought of the fact that someone else could have been in the car with us. I wouldn't have realized it if there had been; my thoughts had been singularly on Edward and nothing else.

"We're approaching the venue," the man's voice continued.

Edward pulled his hands over his face, rubbing it, letting out another growl of frustration and then looked up at me with a sigh. He smiled softly and shook his head as if reading my thoughts of panic, but I looked around again anyway, noting that the partition was up between the driver and us. I looked out the windows to the darkening city outside, reminding myself that I hadn't been able to see inside to know Edward was in here, so no one could likely see us now.

"We're right on schedule and will be there in less than five minutes," he finished.

I dropped my forehead on Edward's shoulder in defeat that we'd have to finish this later, trying my best not to let out a whine of protest and worked on calming my breathing.

"I need a few minutes. Go past and back around," Edward instructed after pressing a button next to him and then released it.

"Yes sir," the driver called back through the speakers without question or implication in his voice.

Chagrin flooded me, realizing, despite the neutral tone of his voice, the driver probably knew exactly what we were up to back here and I felt my cheeks light on fire.

Edward grasped my hips, giving them a push and pull, making my breathing come in short gasps with the feeling that the movement sent through me. I pulled my head off his shoulder, to look at him. His green eyes were playfully dark colored by both want and love. He pulled his hands from my hips and slid them on either side of my face, pulling me in for a kiss.

If distraction was his tactic, it worked, because all it took was about two seconds for the world and all my worries to disappear, leaving only Edward and me. It was just us was all that existed again and all that mattered.

"I love you," I whispered, pressing my forehead to his as I began moving my hips again, unable to keep them still; helpless against the feeling of him in me.

"I love you too, Bella," he murmured softly trailing his thumb along my cheekbone and pulled me in for another kiss, a kiss that began as sweet and gentle and quickly deepened turning almost desperate with need as I rocked my body.

Just like that, I was close again.

Closer.

Oh God.

"Please," I heard myself plea breathlessly.

I felt myself begin to move faster as the feeling intensified.

Oh God, it felt so good.

Even faster; chasing again.

My breathing became heavier.

Oh God. Almost there.

Edward called out, going over. The sound of him coming was all it took to pull me over with him, crying out in loud moans over his now all too aware at just how loud I was but not finding it in me to care one bit if anyone heard me.

When we came down, I collapsed against his chest, both of us breathing heavily, catching our breath from the swell of sensation.

Edward let out a hum of contentment as he wrapped his arms around me lovingly, my cheek resting on his shoulder. I didn't want him to ever let go.

After a few minutes, the driver's voice interrupted our blissful moment, letting us know we were again approaching the venue. This time, Edward pressed the button again replying with a simple, "thank you."

Edward kissed my hair before I reluctantly pulled myself off him, hearing an involuntary whine of protest escape my lips with the feel of him leaving me.

Edward chuckled softly and leaned over kissing my forehead as I pulled the dress back down over my hips. Then he took off the condom, looking a bit panicked, unable to figure out what to do with it, obviously he'd not thought that far ahead.

I quickly offered the small zippered pocket inside the small clutch purse Alice had given me to go with the dress, hoping it wasn't something I was supposed to give back to her, thinking about how awkward it would be for me to do so now. He quickly tied off the condom and I wrapped it in a tissue stowing it away; I laughed to myself feeling like I was keeping it for a memento or something.

"Thanks," he said giving me a kiss and finished re-dressing himself; making me realize I should make sure I looked okay. From what I could tell, looking down at myself, I was fine, though my knees were red. I hoped they'd fade enough by the time we exited the car; I didn't want to make my first official appearance with Edward looking disheveled like I was just his bed buddy. The freshly fucked look was not what I was supposed to be sporting on the red carpet.

I searched my clutch for a compact mirror in the sea of beauty items Alice had left in there to make sure our tryst wasn't evident anywhere else.

_First loving a _dress,_ now fretting over make-up; I'm turning into such a girl_. I thought laughing at myself.

"You look beautiful," Edward said, seeing me pull out the mirror.

I flashed him a small smile but looked anyway to be sure. My lips were a little red and swollen and my cheeks flushed, but other than that, there wasn't any tell-tale sign of our tryst. I reapplied my Alice supplied lip gloss and checked my hair; it was as good as it was going to get.

I let out a sigh of relief and stuffed the compact back in the clutch.

The car turned and slowed to a crawl. Edward glanced out the window and then back at me.

I looked back down at my knees; still red. I groaned and made a face, feeling my cheeks warm as I rubbed them, though I didn't know why I thought that would help make them look less red.

Edward chuckled.

I looked over at him and into his eyes, feeling panic stricken about the red marks from the stupid leather seat, my pale skin wasn't helping mask the color.

"Don't worry about it, love," he smiled pulling his fingers over my heated cheek.

But then I had an idea. I pulled out some of the make-up from the clutch purse and touched a little onto my knees to mask the redness until it faded, earning another chuckle from Edward, but I didn't care. I felt slight ease in my worry now that they at least weren't as noticeable.

The car came to a stop. Edward took my hand, rubbing it soothingly with his thumb as he looked into my eyes. "You ready?"

"Absolutely."

Edward laughed, readily catching my lie and then his face turned serious and reassuring.

"You'll do fine," he assured me. "Irina is waiting for us. She'll stay next to you the entire time."

"What about you?" I asked him confused.

"Well, I'll be next to you as much as I can, but I'm guessing you're not going to want to be right next to me for some of the things, so she'll stand with you during those times. Not that I'll be far."

"Like what things?" I asked, unable to think of anything that would make me not want to be next to Edward.

"Well," he said, "I might be asked to step onto an area for a live broadcasted interview, and knowing you, I'm guessing you would rather bow out of something like that. But I was thinking more about when I interact with the crowd of people; sign autographs, take pictures." He took in my blank expression and then continued. "Remember that night in New York when we had to walk through the paparazzi to get out of the restaurant and to the car?"

I nodded.

"Add in screams and multiply that by about, oh, a thousand."

Oh. I could feel my eyes widen and my stomach turn uneasily, realizing he was right; I wouldn't want to deal with that.

"It's loud and overwhelming, even for me still and I've had enough time that I should be used to it, but I'm not. So I figured you'll probably rather hang back for that."

I nodded, understanding. I definitely wanted to stay away from that.

The car moved forward a ways and then stopped again. I heard the driver's door slam shut and then saw him stand waiting outside the door, facing away from it.

"You really do look beautiful," he said eyeing me appreciatively. "It looks like I owe Alice another thank you—that dress looks incredibly sexy on you."

I blushed.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I flirted, unable to help but eye him wantonly. Edward in a dark, blue suit with an open-necked crisp white dress shirt was indescribable.

God, I wanted him all over again right then.

"Insatiable," Edward scolded with a playful smirk, instantly catching the path my mind had jumped on as he pulled my bottom lip from my teeth—something I hadn't realized I was doing.

"Your fault," I retorted feeling more than just my cheeks growing warmer.

"Right," Edward said breathing a laugh that made his green eyes dance with a mixture of amusement and want, making me squirm; anxious for us to be alone again.

Then he raised his hand and knocked on the glass window twice. In response, the driver turned and opened the door.

The moment the door was opened, a flood of noise greeted my ears. Noise comprised of hundreds if not thousands of people screaming; some names, some just trills of excitement.

Edward stepped out of the car and I heard a spike of cheers and screams from those who could see him exit the limo. He turned back to me, offering his hand to help me out of the car. He could tell that I was nervous. I was fidgeting and probably looked like I was going to throw up because I knew felt like I was.

"Breathe, Bella," he told me in my ear as he brought me close to his side.

I nodded and he hooked my arm in his, smiling at me that same secret smile he had given me in my favorite picture sitting on my desk at home. The same smile that told me he loved me without having to say the words.

I felt my body thrill with warmth as I felt myself smile that same smile back at him. Then Edward began walking, making me look away from him and around. We were walking on a sea of red carpet and there were bright lights everywhere amongst masses of people fenced off. Those who could see Edward were still screaming loudly, trying desperately to get his attention. Around us, in the open area we were in, I could see several people in especially bright areas with microphones doing interviews or talking to cameras. And there were people drifting about everywhere, looking like they were working, corralling stars, guiding people, security standing on this side of the barricades looking foreboding; each seeming to be on their own particular mission.

"Alright 'Anthony' Cullen," I heard a woman's voice say.

I looked away from the commotion and saw a beautiful blonde woman walking towards us smiling. I fought a grimace at how striking she was—reminding me that this was the kind of woman that surrounded Edward all the time.

"You must be Bella," she ascertained, extending her hand when we approached one another.

I took it, forcing a smile, trying to fight the irrational ribbon of jealousy of this woman knowing Edward and managed to smile as Edward slipped his hand securely around my waist.

"I'm Irina. I've heard a lot about you," she said throwing Edward a teasing wink.

"Nice to meet you," I mumbled taking in the blue-eyed, light-blonde haired woman before me. She had a beautiful, slightly rounded Nordic-looking face and appeared to be a little shorter than I was, though it was hard to tell true height when I was wearing heels. I couldn't really get an idea of her age, she looked younger than me, but I felt like the roundness to her face made her appearance of youthfulness deceptive.

"Irina tells stories," Edward said, running his hand through his hair.

"Strictly non-fiction," she insisted.

I wasn't sure why, but felt myself I blush.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining," she continued, addressing me. "You'd never know this man is the same as the sullen creature I worked for before he'd met you." Then she flashed Edward a look, daring him to dispute it.

Edward just laughed and raked his hand through his hair again.

Catching his nervous cue, I studied him curiously. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was blushing. I smiled, touching my hand to his cheek.

"Alright, dear 'Anthony'," Irina said as if quotes around his actor name was like an inside joke—which, I guess it was. "The natives are getting restless," she laughed putting her hand on his bicep as I tried to ignore the irrational urge to rip her hand off of him and tell her he's mine and she should keep her hands off.

Great. Did I have a Possessive Bitch Bella living in my head too?

Sigh. There were too many of them already, I didn't need any more.

"We'd better get you out there before they begin to riot," Irina continued.

Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"You darling, will stick with me," she said to me. "We get to stand safely back and watch the cannibals devour him and spit him back out—it's quite entertaining." She laughed as she led the way towards the crowd.

I laughed and felt myself hope Possessive Bitch Bella backed off, especially with Irina, because I realized I kind of liked her.

Edward took back ownership of my hand, kissed my temple and told me he loved me.

"I love you too, baby," I told him back, turning my face to his, rising up to my tiptoes and giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but I thought I could vaguely hear cameras clicking in the background. I realized then that it was a real possibility and felt my cheeks instantly warm.

Edward cocked an eyebrow as I rolled back on my heels, catching the new term of endearment I'd used. I watched his sexy crooked smile cross his face, making me bite my lip in want.

Then, though seeming reluctant to look away from me, he moved to follow Irina keeping a firm hold of my hand as we made our way toward the loud screams that grew louder as Edward approached and more people caught sight of him. It was quickly so loud that it wasn't long before I was wishing for a pair of earplugs.

As we moved from the drop-off area we came from to the official Red Carpet, I was mesmerized by the sight unfolding in front of me, like it was its own little world. Cameras flashed in rapid fire at Edward. Screams erupted. Countless people were yelling and screaming for Anthony. I couldn't find a way to think around the noise and commotion.

I suddenly felt dizzy.

Edward's grip on my hand tightened slightly and then he began rubbing the back of it with his thumb, bringing me back to earth, grounding me, allowing my body to remember how to breathe. When I did, the light breeze happened to be in my favor, because I was greeted with my favorite honey and sunshine smell that had an edge of crispness to it that came with being outside. I could feel my body calm from my anxiety with the smell of him, but also excite with want, which I found just as distracting, but a feeling I was becoming blissfully familiar with.

Edward went from one interview to another, each always asking or affirming it was true that I was the lucky one who had taken 'Anthony' off the market. Edward always answered a seemingly proud, resounding "yes" and looked at me like he couldn't quite believe he was so lucky.

_No baby, _I'm_ lucky._

As Alice had predicted, I was asked what I was wearing several times. The first time, I was so nervous, I nearly forgot what Alice had said, but managed to meekly say "a Mary Alice Original" into the microphone held out to me, realizing belatedly I said it wrong. The interviewer laughed and told me that I was going to have to break out of my shell if I was going to be with Anthony Cullen. I smiled politely with fiery cheeks but wondered if that were possible for me to become accustomed to _this_.

After several interviews, I did go stand back by the wall with Irina while Edward signed autographs and smiled for countless pictures with extremely excited fans. I marveled at how different he was in front of a camera, in front of a crowd. He seemed so charismatic and at ease, like he wasn't fazed at all by any of it. Actually, he looked like he was _enjoying_ it. I couldn't help but chuckle when I realized he acted just like Emmett, seeming to soak up the attention, loving every minute of it.

If I didn't know him better, I would have believed his façade, but I could see his nervous "tells" that gave him away. I watched him as he constantly ran his hands through his hair; I knew he did it because he was uncomfortable and nervous, but to the screaming fans that ate it up, swooning over it, it seemed like they thought it was something he did specifically to drive them crazy. I noticed when he was stopped to answer questions he'd shove his hands in his pockets; something I knew was also a sign of nerves. And I watched as he smiled and joked with people, but every once and awhile I could see his mask crack for the briefest of moments and I could see the look on his face that told me this was all overwhelming to him and as much out of his comfort zone as I knew it to be. Watching him like this, made me want to go to him and try to put him at ease, but I knew it wouldn't help, he needed to stay in his character, he needed to show his appreciation, because he did appreciate it all; he just didn't swim blissfully in the attention.

I stood there next to Irina, mesmerized by the unbelievably sexy creature in front of me, amazed by him, how he moved, his expressions, mannerisms, and how well he could pull off the role he needed to play. But even more, I loved the fact that I could watch and pick out the moments that broke through the character he was portraying and knowing that I was possibly the only person who saw it.

"Hey there Spinner!"

I jumped from being jarred out the trance Edward had me in just as a couple of strong arms swept around me.

"Rumor had it you were going to be here," Emmett said to me. "Hey 'Rina," he called over to Irina. I heard her laugh, probably from seeing me swim in Emmett's massive arms as she returned the greeting.

Emmett released me and flashed me one of his contagious smiles. I felt a smile spread on my face in return. I really liked Emmett.

"Hi Emmett, it's good to see you," I told him honestly finding myself hoping that Rose changed her mind and did end up giving him a chance.

"How's he doing?" He asked, jerking his thumb toward Edward.

"He's doing well, I think," I told him as I looked back at Edward, hearing several screaming calls for Emmett's attention. "Though I'm seeing his nervous mannerisms more and more the longer he's been entertaining them. I'm beginning to wonder if he's going to find a hand-full of hair in his fist each time he runs his hand through it at this point, so I'm guessing he's pretty close to his limit."

After a beat, I looked away from Edward and over to Emmett with a lack of reply finding he was looking down at me with an expression that almost looked puzzled, but not quite. Impressed? Confused? Maybe. I wasn't sure; but that probably was in part to do with the fact that I wasn't sure what I'd said to evoke such a look.

"What?" I asked him, finally, giving up on my guessing.

A smile began to spread across his unnamed expression and he shook his head.

"He better hang onto you, spinner girl," was all he replied and stooped down, giving me a kiss on the cheek and left my side, heading into the building, leaving me just as answerless as I was before.

XXXXX

The movie, like Edward had indicated on _The Late Show_, was intense. I enjoyed it at first, it seemed to be a really good movie. But it didn't take too long until I had a hard time watching it—and it wasn't just the fact I was sitting next to Edward in a dark room with his hand on my bare thigh, causing a surge in my need for him. The movie was primarily about his character's volatile relationship with the lead female character, named Maria, who was played by Tanya Denali. Watching the volatile side of their relationship wasn't a problem, the problem I had was watching the flipside of that volatility that spun into a provocative sexual chemistry between the characters and watching them as they lusted, kissed and groped one another.

I never expected myself to react this way. I never once imagined that the characters I watched on TV sitcoms or in movies were actually anything like their real self, they were characters I was watching, that was it. But for whatever reason—despite still knowing it was all staged, scripted and played out for the movie—I couldn't handle watching this.

Logically I knew it wasn't real and it was all acting; that I was watching Edward playing a guy named Will and it was that character I saw on screen. But I couldn't kick the nauseating knot that formed in my gut because my mind couldn't seem to let go of the important fact that it wasn't 'Edward' on the screen. It was like my brain refused to acknowledge it wasn't him, that I wasn't watching a recording of Edward kissing Tanya, of him touching her, of him screwing her. Instead, it felt like I was being force to watch an old sex tape of my boyfriend with his former lover. Of course it didn't help that I knew Edward had dated Tanya.

I had been doing relatively fine until Will grabbed Maria, pinning her to the wall as she breathed heavily. Want filling the entire screen, seeping out, spilling into the room.

My stomach turned restlessly.

E—Will kissed Maria roughly, saying an angry, lust riddled line or two, into her ear and she retorted one of her own.

My stomach knotted.

Edw—. No. _Not Edward_. Will. _Will_ hastily undid his pants and shoved Tanya's skirt up hungrily, grabbing her, showing she wasn't wearing anything beneath.

The room began to spin.

Edward picked her up, pinning her between the wall and himself. Then he thrust himself against Tanya roughly, making her call out in pleasure.

It literally felt like I'd just watched him actually bury himself inside her.

Oh God. My stomach flipped and squeezed and I gagged, barely swallowing back the heave.

I couldn't breathe. My vision blurred feeling a cold sweat flash across my skin.

I clenched my jaw, keeping my hand in front of my mouth and stood up abruptly from my seat, unable to make up an excuse to Edward as he looked up at me questionably, because I knew if I opened my mouth, it wasn't going to be words that came out. So I quickly made my way to the door, out of the theater as casually as possible—knowing I didn't succeed—and desperately sought a restroom as a stream of irrational tears began falling down my face.

The moment I passed the bathroom door, I couldn't hold back any longer, barely making it to the toilet as my body forcefully expelled the contents of my stomach.

* * *

**Some of those sex scenes in movies are pretty realistic looking. Poor Bella. :(**

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	25. Chapter 25 Baggage Claim

**Love and thanks to all the readers, reviewers, rec'ers, community adders and thanks again to, AA'sW, who nominated me for a Hidden Star Award. :) That was wonderful of you and fantastic for me.**

**Thanks MC. xo**

**Reminder: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer.**

**As I'm sure you expect from the last, this is a heavy chapter…**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 25: Baggage Claim**

"Bella?" I heard Alice's voice call into the bathroom.

Alice was here? I didn't realize she had come to the Premiere. I should have realized though that Edward's family would be here, not just Emmett. I guess I had gotten kind of caught up in the moment and it didn't register.

I shook my head at myself; it didn't matter, I didn't have any intention of replying. I wanted to be left alone.

I sniffled reflexively due to my running nose as I leaned over the toilet, still nauseous but hoping the purging had subsided. I felt absolutely awful.

I rolled my eyes at myself, realizing that I'd just given myself away. I felt embarrassed enough as it was that I reacted the way I had, I didn't want to have any witnesses to my neuroses.

I heard the door close. Then it opened again a brief moment later, followed by the sound of heels clicking on the floor, walking toward the stall I was hold-up in.

"Bella?" she said gently.

"Just leave me alone, Alice," I pleaded. "Give me a few minutes. I'll be fine."

Alice didn't reply, but I didn't hear her move either.

I glanced back at the stall door that was still cracked open from not having the luxury of time to lock it in my haste to make it to the toilet; she was still there. I sighed with petulant resignation.

"You're not going to leave, are you?" I ascertained, annoyance coloring my tone, knowing it was true.

"No," she replied gently. After a few beats of silence, she added, "Please come out here Bella and let me help you."

I sighed, leaning into my hands, my elbows resting on the seat. Then I stood and took a deep breath, making sure I was relatively certain I was done throwing up before grabbing some toilet paper to wipe my face and mouth. I flushed the toilet and opened the door all the way.

The look on Alice's face when she saw me told me I looked as awful as I felt.

I quickly averted my eyes from her as I walked past and headed to the sink.

Catching my reflection in the mirror, I confirmed what I'd gathered from Alice's reaction; I looked like hell. My eyes were red and puffy with smudged eye make-up blotching out and running down my flushed and swollen face. I tucked my hair back and leaned over the sink, splashing water on my face, in attempt to wash off at least some of the ruined make-up.

"Did you want to talk about it?" she asked gently as I toweled off the water with one of the small cloth towels that were rolled and stacked in perfect little baskets by each sink.

"No," I replied tersely as I threw the towel into the ornate hamper and turned back toward the counter, finding I couldn't face her. I _really_ didn't want to talk about it. Talking about it would only evoke the images that were so much worse than the original one that I wanted locked away forever.

I took a quick glance at the mirror and saw Alice's reflection nodding.

"Okay. You don't have to talk to me about it, but you do really need to talk to him about this," she urged, still speaking soft and calm; something that was odd coming from Alice. She always seemed to be permanently stuck on cheerful and bubbly; it was strange to see her outside of that norm.

"There's nothing to say," I told her. "It's stupid."

"Whatever caused that isn't stupid, Bella," she argued.

No, it _was_ stupid. It was stupid that something so unrelated to Edward would weed its way into my head when I was least expecting it, turning into something about him. Something I was convinced he wasn't capable of, but now was seriously affecting my relationship with him. And I was completely pissed that it'd happened.

"I'm fine," I insisted with a roll of my eyes, wishing she'd drop it. I didn't need for her to pretend she understood or pretend that I hadn't had a complete overreaction.

"He's worried about you," she said softly, trying another tactic. "When you left the theatre so abruptly it scared him; I've never seen him so upset."

I spotted a package of mints in the large basket on the counter that contained a large variety of things from tampons and nylons to sewing kits and breath mints sitting there ready for anything a woman might find she needed unexpectedly. I grabbed one of the packets of mints and opened it, popping a couple of them into my mouth, keeping my eyes on the package as if I was going to be tested on every last nuance of it later.

I paused momentarily, wanting to lie to her, wanting to tell her my bout of illness must have been something I ate—food poisoning—but then thought better of it. I knew she wouldn't buy it. She would know immediately I wasn't telling the truth as soon as I opened my mouth to speak.

I stood there, trying to articulate myself into words and found it angered me more and more the longer I thought about it. My words came out angrily.

"He's worried about me?" I scoffed, finally replying looking up at her. "I had a completely irrational reaction to a _movie_, Alice. Who does that? No one. That's who. No one sane anyhow," I ranted and saw Alice's expression change—she had thought it was something else that had sent me bolting from the room—but I was too angry at myself to worry about it and kept venting, my words bubbling thickly with my anger and embarrassment. "No. What he _should_ be worried about, is what kind of _nutcase_ he got himself involved with and which direction will take him as far away from me as possible," I clarified, my eyes finding the package of mints in my hands again, ashamed at myself.

How was I ever going to face Edward again after behaving so irrationally?

It was just a _movie_, I knew it wasn't _real_. What the hell was wrong with me? Well, I guess I was living proof that the saying "once betrayed never truly forgotten" was very much true.

A warped image speared through my mind with remembering the movie, not quite a memory, not quite reality, not quite the scene I'd just watched on screen, but enough to make me swallow back a threatening heave. My hand flew to my mouth. I closed my eyes, trying to shut off and push the image out, trying to block it from my head.

"Bella," Alice said in a soothing tone, "to be honest if it were Jasper on that screen, I don't think I could have handled watching that either. Real or not, it would have been a hard thing to stomach."

I breathed a disbelieving laugh through my nose doubting her confession making it seem as if she could understand. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but what she didn't know was it was so much more than just that. Had it been simply what she'd described, it would have been uncomfortable and difficult to endure having to watch, sure, but not something to elicit such a violently strong reaction. It would not have been something that would have sent me running from the room, literally sick to my stomach.

The images threatened again, testing my barrier I'd put up to keep them out. I swayed under the assault, but managed to beat them back before they took over my head. Though even just the threat of their re-appearance brought on another wave of nausea I had to overcome.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, biting back the unstable feeling in my gut.

"Bella?" Alice's concerned voice interrupted my attempt to pull rank over my body.

"I'm fine," I said through my teeth.

"Okay," she said as if in concession, but the way she said it told me that she was doing anything but. She knew I wasn't fine.

So much for her being taken with me, after tonight, she was going to be the one guiding Edward which way to run away from me and then follow close on his heels.

"I'm going to go," I said out loud, not sure if I was telling Alice or myself, but I needed to get out of there.

"What do you mean, 'you're going to go'? Where are you going?"

I opened my mouth to reply but I had nothing. I hadn't thought of that. Where was I going to go? I didn't know. I bit my lip unable to come up anything. I didn't even know where Edward's place was to either retreat to or retrieve my suitcase from. I didn't even have my purse, I'd stuffed it in my suitcase.

Her reflection nodded as if I'd spoken aloud.

"He's waiting for you," she said as if to deter me from bolting without a word to him, which, to be honest, had crossed my mind; I was too mortified. Instinct to run home and crawl under my covers to hide from this was overwhelming. I didn't want to face him yet. I wasn't ready.

I closed my eyes in resignation. Shit. Of course he was waiting for me. I wasn't going to get to go crawl into a hole and hide from this. I couldn't be the coward I was, I had to face him.

"Here," she said, her heels clicking on the floor toward me.

I looked up at the mirror to see she had the clutch purse she'd given me in her hand, something I'd left behind me in my haste to find the bathroom.

"Let me help you touch up," she said setting it on the counter and opening it up. "You very well might have an audience when you leave," she explained as she pulled out the contents. "There are still people with cameras everywhere. If they see you like this, they're going to pick it apart. With not being a person who exactly lives for the limelight," she said beginning to apply the makeup, "I'm certain you wouldn't want the extra attention that would bring you, especially since even most people who do, wouldn't embrace that."

She was right, it was true. I didn't want any attention, much less noxious attention like that. So I helped Alice hide how much of a wreck I was at the moment.

When we were done, I surveyed our work. It wasn't even close to the flawless perfection I had been when I'd left the spa that afternoon but the purse only held a few key things. Still, it was a vast improvement from how I'd looked just minutes ago.

I took a nervous breath knowing there was nothing left to do but go out and face Edward. Realizing this caused a flash of nervous sweat travel across my body and my cheeks light up.

"Come on," Alice said, grabbing the door handle. "It'll be alright," she assured me.

I felt myself make a face, but I walked forward when she pulled the door open, stepping past her as she held it for me. I forced myself to pull my eyes from their downcast position when I walked into the open space, past the partition that obscured the restrooms from immediate view. My eyes fell on Edward in the otherwise empty space, who was mid-pull through his hair with one hand and had the other shoved into his pants pocket, pacing agitatedly. When he turned caught sight of me, he strode hastily to my side.

"Bella, are you alright?" he asked me intensely and then his deep green eyes darted to his sister, as if asking for her to tell him what he figured I might not.

"I'm fine," I assured him and his eyes darted back to me. "I'm just not feeling well," I lied. It was a kneejerk reaction with desperately not wanting to delve into the truth. I knew he would catch the lie easier than Alice would have caught the one I nearly told in the bathroom, but my aversion of telling him the truth—that I was apparently a complete nutjob—was so strong, it had me going for the slim odds he'd buy the lie.

Edward pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, catching my lie but didn't call me on it—though he did flash Alice another look, lingering at her face for a moment. I was sure she was relaying some unspoken communication to him, but I didn't look at her. I already knew that I wasn't; I didn't need to see her confirm that fact to Edward.

"Let's get you out of here, alright?"

I nodded, not even wanting to claim I could go back into the movie for fear of anything else that might stir another unwelcomed reaction.

After two steps, I stopped short, a realization dawning on me, "What about everything else you're supposed to go to tonight? Like the after parties? You can't miss all that, Edward."

"Don't worry about that, love. You are far more important. Come on, let's get you home," he replied, his tone and expression full of grave concern.

I tried to protest, but he was adamant.

Edward thanked Alice and slipped his hand around my waist, guiding me to the back of the building without another word. I abashedly stared ahead, forcing myself to raise my eyes from the downcast position they desired to set into.

I was grateful he didn't press for answers, make accusations, or ask me to stay as we walked in silence, though I could feel his concerned and questioning glances against my skin along the way.

When Edward opened the metal, unmarked door at the back of the venue into the muggy night, I saw that there was a limo already there and waiting. The driver moved quickly upon our appearance and opened the car door. Edward gestured me ahead of him and then slid in behind me.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I told him honestly as the limo pulled away from the curb, wanting to make sure he knew at least that. Hot tears quickly spilled over my eyes, running rapidly down my face, ruining the work Alice and I had just done.

Damn it.

"Don't be sorry, love," he told me futilely wiping at the tears with his thumb before tucking my hair behind my ear. "Just help me understand. What happened?" he asked, completely unsure of what _had_ happened or why and sounding—understandably—frustrated. "The truth this time," he added.

"I don't know," I told him, my voice cracking helplessly with the tears that wouldn't stop, sounding as desperate and manic as I felt. It was the truth but it was a lie too. I did know—at least kind of—but I didn't know why it happened now, with Edward, with something completely separate. "I'm so sorry, Edward," I told him again, not sure what else to say other than that, because I was, more than he'd ever know. I took a breath, closing my eyes. "I can't believe that happened. It's so stupid."

"It's not stupid, Bella."

Why wouldn't anyone believe me? It was stupid; it was all so horribly _stupid_.

"I—" my voice quivered but I couldn't continue. I looked at him with manic, beseeching eyes as silent tears rolled down to just drop the subject. I felt my head start shaking back and forth, communicating what I couldn't; I couldn't rehash this. Not now. Not yet. I just couldn't.

"Come here," he murmured softly, pulling me into his arms, where he held me silently for the rest of the ride to his place, understanding that I needed time.

XXXXX

It was peaceful, laying there with Edward in his bed. I really liked his place. No, I loved it. It held the same feeling Edward's presence held; like I was home.

But that could have been just because I was there with Edward.

Edward had complained that even though it was a condo, it was still too much for what he needed or wanted. But in order to be afforded the privacy a person such as him sought, it came with a price tag and all the amenities he thought completely unnecessary associated with the adjective "luxury" that was attached to the place.

While there was no doubt the place was beautiful, that wasn't at all why I liked it so much. It was how Edward had made it so _him_ that made me love it instantly. Like he had entire walls full of shelf after shelf stacked with vinyl records and CDs. And it was that he had a room dedicated to just his music—a place that was obvious he used to both write and play where the disheveled chaos of the room seemed to still be symphonic—but maybe it felt that way because the chaos was symphonic in the literal sense of the word. He had countless scribble-filled papers I knew were songs—whether full or bits and pieces—dotting the room that held a beautiful, black baby grand piano and countless guitars of all kinds—acoustic, electric, bass—that were surrounded by speakers, amps and things I couldn't name much less know the purpose of.

I couldn't help but laugh in loving adoration of the man who held me in his arms.

"What?" he asked curiously at my sudden found humor, something he'd not seen since before the viewing of the movie.

"Nothing," I promised with a smile, "just _you_."

"You find me funny, do you?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow, quirking an eyebrow at me in the dim light.

"More like adorable," I amended as I gently dragged my fingertips across his face and grabbed his chin toyingly.

"I don't get it," he said after studying me for a minute as if he was trying to pull the explanation from my face.

"You don't have to," I countered. "I do and that's all that matters."

"You're not going to tell me then?"

I lightly rolled my eyes, "Just how every last corner of this place is so _you_."

Edward flashed an annoyed look telling me the vague answer I'd given wasn't going to be answer enough, even if it was true. In turn, my smile grew wider as I stared back at him. He was more than gorgeous in so many more ways than just his appearance and I loved that I knew that. I loved the adorable quirks he had, how loving he was with me and with his family. I loved how much he cared about others. And I loved how, despite everything his life had brought him, he still had this boyish vulnerability about him that was so incredibly endearing.

"I still don't get it," he pressed, not satisfied by my enamored gaze for an answer.

"That's why I love this place so much," I elaborated, telling him honestly, "because of all the things that make it you. Like how there's music everywhere in every form. You have more sheet music, records, CDs and instruments than I ever thought one person would ever have. You have guitar picks scattered in every single room and pencils and sheets of paper that have notes scribbled on them with lyrics you don't want to forget or pieces of melodies jotted down because you just need to get it out or it'll drive you mad, tossed aside because with it being written down you're freed of them, the paper holding them for you until you turn them into something more than that. Each slip of paper is like its own snippet of genius disguised as chaotic, senseless ramblings and indiscernible tunes because they don't make sense to anyone but you until you pick one up again, adding to it until it becomes something the whole world can understand and finds just as captivating as the first few notes or words were to you," I paused for a beat. "It's aweing," I concluding, taking a deep breath, because I was, once again, finding myself in sheer amazement of the man who lay beside me.

"I don't have guitar picks in every room," he countered, picking out that detail instead of how remarkable I knew he was. "You're exaggerating. Most of the time, I don't even use them."

"Go check," I challenged confidently with a laugh.

Edward looked at me, gauging me with my challenge. He apparently didn't think I was serious.

"Alright then, where was one in the bathroom?" he quizzed instead of leaving my side, sounding confident that I'd not included the bathrooms as part of every room.

"Which one?" I retorted raising my eyebrow because I knew where one was in each, but depending on which one, depended on the location of the pick.

"This one," he said nodding his head to the en suite bathroom for his bedroom, calling my bluff. Or so he thought.

"Sitting upright, leaning against the back of the faucet," I smiled smugly.

Edward narrowed his eyes at the obvious fact that I wasn't lying.

"Kitchen," he fired.

"There is one next to the package of cookies on the counter," I said, my smile growing bigger. I could play this all night. "But I spotted two others besides that one in there too if you'd care to know their whereabouts as well," I said cockily.

Edward laughed, scratching the far side of his cheek with the back of his thumb, surrendering, knowing I wasn't spouting stories.

Mmm, I could feel his simple mannerism send a slow warmth to spread through my body.

"I think you might want to start picking them up," I added. "You probably have quite the collection accumulating, hiding in all the crevices of this place. What do you do? Just keep buying guitar picks to feed to your house that seems to have a healthy appetite for them?"

"Something like that," he laughed and reached over and began drawing mindless designs on my body, making me hum in contentment.

"I love it here," I confessed.

"I love you here," Edward replied.

I smiled a lazy smile in response as he continued to graze his fingers over me, my eyes softly closing with the feeling.

After several moments of blissful silence, enjoying being wrapped up around Edward and his electric touch, I broke it with something that had been sitting at the back of my throat for hours.

"I'm really sorry about tonight," I whispered softly, feeling Edward's fingers pause for just a second before they resumed their trek over my side in their soothing patterns.

"I told you, love," he replied just as quietly, as if we were both afraid to wake the bed we were laying on if we spoke too loudly, "don't apologize. It's alright."

I nodded silently, choking back tears of frustration brought back up to the surface that it had even happened in the first place. It _wasn't_ alright. I knew that. And it shouldn't be alright. Edward had it wrong. It never should have happened. And I was angry that he had to deal with something he had no part in contributing to, that he had to accept this baggage I hadn't even realized I was carrying.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked, in a low voice.

I took a lightly broken breath in an attempt to calm myself, trying to ward off the threatening tears and then I forced myself to continue, hating that my tear ducts were hard wired to every emotion I had.

"I'm not really sure _what_ happened. God!" I spat, breaking the quiet stillness the room had held with my frustration and anger. "It was like my mind was unable to separate what I was seeing from reality, despite the fact that I knew it wasn't real," I continued, trying futilely to sum it up, trying to say it right, but knowing after the words were spoken, I'd failed to.

I saw realization sweep over his face with my inadequate explanation. Edward pulled in a breath to reply, but I cut him off before he fed me another line of placation. No matter what he tried to tell me, it wasn't okay and it wasn't fair to him.

"No, that's not exactly right," I continued, pulling my hands to my face in frustration, because it wasn't right, though I didn't even know myself what _was_ exactly right, so how I expected myself to explain it to Edward was beyond me. I let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl. "I mean, it is what happened," I amended. "But I don't know _why_ it happened— "

I stopped, realizing as soon as the words were out that that wasn't entirely true. I _did_ know why I had trouble stomaching what I'd seen. Literally. But Edward was completely different. Why did my mind make it about him? It didn't have _anything_ to do with him. That, I didn't know.

"I—" I tried to continue, but a lump in my throat set up a road block. The memory ripped through me—the hurt, the betrayal, the anger—it burned in my chest and sat in my throat. But it was amplified, turning into something so much stronger than the emotion of that day ever held, a past that I thought I'd finally left behind only to find it creep back to ruin what I had now.

I struggled to find a way to navigate past it. I was frustrated that it was still so difficult to think about. I was so angry that I could not get the vision of James and that woman out of my mind and that Edward had to deal with this crap because of something so wholly unrelated to him. I wanted to scream out with how unfair it was to Edward that I'd broken down at the Premiere. Scream because I had this baggage. Baggage I'd not realized I'd had. Instead, I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes.

I wanted to hit something. No, I wanted to hit James—the jackhole ass crack.

Damn him to hell!

I didn't deserve this. _Edward_ didn't deserve this.

_I was so goddamn frustrated! _I thought as I let out a growling scream I couldn't hold back any longer.

Fuck James! Fuck him for ruining not only our relationship, but tainting my relationship with Edward with the memory my mind now sickly altered. I hated him far more than I ever had before.

"Hey," Edward said soothingly, tugging at my wrist to pull my hands from my face. When I resisted, he turned, sliding a knee over me, so he could grab ahold of both wrists, successfully pulling my hands from my face this time, holding them down against my ribcage. "Look at me," he whispered in soft demand, his body on mine, straddling me.

I took a breath, wishing the tears that had wet my face weren't there, and then obeyed him, opening my eyes to look back into his heart stopping, green eyes that stared intently into mine.

"This is my fault, Bella," he began, shaking his head and placing his fingers on my lips when I began to protest. "I should have warned you. I guess I didn't think to, since part of that scene was in the clip that was shown at _The Tonight Show_—" he let out his own aggravated sigh. "Who am I kidding? Even if it would have come to mind beforehand to warn you, I was so focused on the fact that I had you _here, _with me, that I didn't think of anything else from the moment I saw you. If anything or anyone is responsible for this, it's me for not giving you warning. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." I shouldn't _need_ a warning.

"We've never really talked about that part of my job and if you can be okay with that or not," Edward murmured carefully, as if bracing himself for an inevitable but dreaded reply he thought I'd give him. "I know it's something not everyone is able to deal with."

"It wasn't really that," I told him. "I didn't have any false beliefs that the moment we started seeing each other, that would mean the roles you had would suddenly no longer have any romantic interests. It didn't particularly thrill me, but I knew that. But—" _then I completely freaked out._ I finished in my head.

Edward nodded as if he had read my mind, followed by a long silence filled with the both of us trying to figure out what to say and how to say it to the other.

"I wish you could be on set when those scenes are filmed," Edward growled in frustration, "then you could see that there really isn't anything romantic about them when they're being filmed. They're usually really quite sterile. It's mostly camera angles and editing that makes them look like _that_. I think seeing what actually goes on would help you understand that what those are, is nothing the same as this," he said sliding the palm of his hand tenderly along the side of my face. I turned my head slightly, pressing my cheek into his hand. His eyes intensely locked with mine as he leaned forward, closing the distance between us ever so slowly, until our noses touched. Edward paused there for a moment before he closed his eyes and pressed his electric-charged lips softly against mine, making me hum in contentment. He pulled back just enough so our lips only brushed lightly before he came back in, pressing his lips harder against mine as our mouths moved together. Then his tongue slipped across my top lip before he went in for one more kiss. "They couldn't be more different from that," he insisted when he pulled away.

I opened my eyes and stared back at him for a moment, enjoying the charge in the air between us that lingered from our kiss.

"But didn't you date Tanya?" I blurted the question that I'd been trying to ignore but had kept tugging on me, refusing to be shoved aside.

The mood changed instantly, like a book you were deeply engrossed in being abruptly slammed shut on you.

Crap. I was just full of golden moments tonight.

Edward's eyes tightened with the question as he pulled his face back further from mine. I bit my lip in regret.

"Yeah," Edward said, his eyes hard and guarded, making me regret my question further. "Unfortunately, for awhile, until it became apparent to me the kind of woman she was and that was the end of it."

"So sometimes it turns into more," I ascertained searching his face for answers. "Right?"

"It happens," Edward admitted making my stomach knot uncomfortably, "but that could be said with co-workers at any workplace. Though I've never begun a relationship that way," he assured me. "And if you're concerned about _that scene_ you saw tonight, whoever was able to make _that _into something that looked believably something other than the distain for her I was unable to hide deserves some serious noteworthy recognition."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It shouldn't matter _who_ you've been with, no matter who it was," I said trailing off, pulling my eyes from his.

"Don't apologize," he said, shaking his head. "It was a valid question given the reason behind it, especially since the media makes it seem like it happens on set far more often than it actually does."

"Would you just promise to tell me?" I asked, feeling desperation around the question. "If it comes down to that, no matter the situation, I just need to know that you'll tell me. Before…" my voice cracked and my hands began to shake.

Silence stretched out as he looked intently into my eyes.

"Is that the problem?" Edward asked and then rephrased his question. "Is that what he did to you? He cheated… and you caught him, didn't you?"

I didn't answer. I didn't think I could. Besides, from what he'd just said, I knew he could read it all over my face without me having to saying a word. At least he now knew my issue—just without all the horrible details.

Edward's eyes hardened with anger that was not targeted at me.

"Bella, I could never do anything like that to you. I promise, I never will. But you need to learn how to trust me on that," he said, his eyes honest and searching. "How can I get you to believe me?"

"I don't know," I breathed, honestly. "I know I have no reason to doubt you, but yet I have trouble believing, trusting. Then when I saw you and Tanya," an involuntary shudder ran through me, "it was like it all came rushing back," my voice broke. "But believe me Edward when I tell you that I love you and I am working on getting past my insecurities."

Apparently I just had far more work to do on that than I'd previously thought.

"You know, you don't have to tell me exactly what happened if you don't want to, but I hope you do someday so I can fully understand. But regardless if you do or not, you need to remember that _I'm not him_," Edward said in a way that brought tears to my eyes though I wasn't certain what emotion carried them there. "Remind yourself that, okay? Because you need to learn to trust me or this isn't going to work."

I nodded.

Edward slipped his fingers into my hair, drawing it back, away from my face, stroking the strands. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," I said in return, pressing my face into his hand.

"There's only you," he affirmed sternly stroking my cheekbone.

I nodded. "You know that it's just you too," I replied softly, reaching up to touch his face.

A small, crooked smile cracked through his expression as he nodded.

"Are you okay?" he confirmed.

"Yeah, I think so."

An ebbing silence draped over us, creating a calm that came with resolution and understanding. I could feel both of our bodies relax under the feeling of it.

"I know people say this all the time, but I _really_ don't want to go to work tomorrow," he admitted in a whisper, as he continued to draw the backs of his fingers down the side of my face and along my jawbone.

"Why's that?" I asked sleepily as my eyes closed heavily. The day had exhausted me.

"Because it means I have to leave you again. I thought the reason would be obvious. Apparently not," he said sounding slightly offended, smiling softly.

Immediately a smile I couldn't hold back, spread across my face from something I knew and hadn't shared with him yet.

"What the hell is so amusing?" Edward asked with a mixture of worry and cautious anticipation.

"You don't have to," I said, opening my eyes, my smile getting wider.

"'I don't have to' what?"

"Leave me tomorrow," I said, biting my lip, trying to hide my smile.

"What do you mean?" he asked taken off guard. I could see the guarded excitement brewing in his eyes.

"I took the rest of the week off work," I said, my voice an octave higher than normal with my excitement about the potential of not having to have another month or longer of not seeing Edward in front of me just yet. My smile growing so big it hurt as I watched a goofy grin spread across Edward's face. "So if you want, I can go to Atlanta and spend the next few days with you."

Edward kissed me soundly on the lips. "You're coming with me tomorrow?"

I giggled. His excitement turned him into a young boy on Christmas morning.

"Yes, if you want me to join you, it's all set thanks to Alice and Irena," I told him.

"I have a feeling that the three of you getting along so well is going to be trouble for me some day," Edward teased. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I didn't know if I'd be able to manage getting the time off or not," I told him. "I didn't want to say anything if I couldn't get the time off. So I mentioned it to Alice and next thing I knew she told me Irena booked me on your flight before I'd even secured the days."

"But I thought you told me that getting time off would be impossible."

"That's why I didn't tell you beforehand. I had to beg, borrow and steal to get these days off," I told him, impressed with myself in my ability to negotiate. Though to be honest, I was pretty much ready to say screw my job anyway, but until I decided anything for certain, I'd keep that to myself.

Edward let out a joyful, disbelieving laugh as he rolled onto his back and pulled me with him, settling me on top of him, grasping my hips in his hands as I pulled my legs astride him. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're coming with me," he breathed.

"You don't have to, I can tell," I teased leaning forward, rotating my hips, pressing myself more firmly against him, ready for me.

"Your fault," he murmured with a smirk.

"Hey!" I huffed teasingly. "You can't use that, it's mine!" I demanded, failing horribly at giving him an angry face.

"Sure I can," he said with a mischievous grin as he slid his hands up from my hips, grabbing my sides, tickling me, making me laugh out, loudly. "But only because it's true."

I was still giggling when Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in tightly against him and began kissing me thoroughly.

I hummed in contentment feeling I could swim in this moment—of me surrounded by Edward—and live there happily for the rest of my life.

* * *

**As always, I hope you let me know what you think. Click the [Review] button and tell me.**

**TJE**


	26. Chapter 26 Revelations

**Thank you, as always, for reading, reviewing, rec'ing and adding The Trip to your communities and, of course, thanks MC. XOXO**

**Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. This all human version of events, however, is mine.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 26: Revelations**

"Aw, look at you," I teased after Edward was done with hair and makeup. "You look so pretty."

Edward smiled an embarrassed smile as he got up from his chair, diverting his eyes from mine and shook his head. It was hard to tell with the makeup on his face, but it looked like he was actually blushing from my comment.

I looked harder and I giggled when I realized, I had actually just made him blush.

Edward pulled his hand up to his hair and then stopped, upon seeing the horrified look on the hairstylist's face, jerking his hand away. Instead, he cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets and gave me a withering look that made me wonder if he was always this nervous on set or if it was just because I was there. I hoped it wasn't because of me. I didn't want my presence to be a hindrance to his ability to do his job.

Attempting to abate his nerves, I walked over to him and slid my arms around his waist, smiling up at him.

"You think this is funny, huh?" he asked, smiling down at me before giving me a soft kiss.

"Nope," I giggled, realizing he probably kissed the way he had so he didn't mess up his makeup. "I just think you're quite beautiful… with make-up on," I tacked on with a squeak, a fit of giggles quickly following.

Edward rolled his eyes at me and then flashed a glare at the stylists who'd joined me in my laughter.

"Oh, don't get crabby. I'm just teasing, baby," I placated him trying to stifle my giggles. "To be honest, you look incredibly sexy no matter what you're wearing."

Edward flashed a sexy smile of amusement.

"Or _not_ wearing…" I tacked on raising my eyebrows suggestively, licking my lips.

"Don't start," he warned me. But his desire was evident in his eyes, making his reproachful scowl less impressive. "I have to work."

"Fine," I conceded sounding impressively petulant—probably because I kind of was. "But it's your fault."

Edward shook his head at me with a smile and let out a sharp, defeated laugh.

"Anthony?" a tall, brown-haired woman called, getting Edward's attention. "They're ready for you." And then she was off to whatever other task she had to do.

I found it so strange hearing everyone call him _Anthony_ there on set. I guess I'd half expected that the people he worked with, who knew him personally, would just call him Edward. But then again, he was a pretty private person, so it made sense to me why he would maintain his stage name on set. It was his work name, and he was _at work._

I realized then that it answered why it wasn't known by the general populous that he went by Edward in his private life—not many people knew it and those who did, guarded the fact. But that was the way it was with so many things about him.

Edward grabbed my hand and we walked over to where he needed to be. He pointed things out and explained a few technical things along the way. Being on set was really something to see. While everyone had a "let's get this job done" vibe, they mostly seemed pretty laid back. It was like everyone was busy, but they all had this effortless way of doing things quickly and efficiently. And there were so many "moving parts", everything seemed as if it was in constant motion—it was a bit overwhelming.

"You alright?" he confirmed before turning to the director.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grinned holding the cup of iced coffee he'd had someone get me just a little while before, shaking it so the ice rattled. "I've got my iced vanilla latte. I'm all set," I said pulling the straw into my mouth and taking sip.

Edward laughed. "Alight then, I'll leave you to your iced candy in a straw," he said and then playfully stole a sip of my coffee, making me laugh with him. "Just don't OD on caffeine, alright? Those things are a lot more powerful than they seem."

"Speaking from experience?"

Edward chuckled. "If you get bored, you know where to go, right?" he asked, diverting the conversation away, not answering my question.

I narrowed my eyes, letting him know I'd caught him, which he returned with a sexy smirk, causing a fresh thrill of want to zip through me.

"Yes," I answered simply with a nod, trying to hide the direction he'd sent my mind to. He had already shown me around the set earlier, including his trailer, telling me to make myself at home and feel free to do whatever there. In response to his offering, I had eyed up the small bed with significance, earning a teasingly reproachful smirk from him as he shook his head at me.

I couldn't help but think of that bed again…

"I love you," he whispered with a smirk that told me I hadn't succeeded in hiding the direction my train of thought had headed as he pulled me into him. He reached up, releasing my lip from my teeth—something I'd not realized I was doing—and gave me a kiss, chuckling lightly. Then he turned to the director and another guy who immediately commanded his attention before I could tell him the same.

I stepped away from the group of people surrounding the set, not wanting to be in the way, finding a place away from the commotion, contenting myself with watching Edward. I stood back, studying his mannerisms and gestures as he nodded his head, listened, spoke and reviewed things with the other men, and I giggled to myself each time I saw him catch himself about to pull his hand through his hair and then shove his hand back into his pocket.

"Bella, right?" a voice asked.

I jerked lightly with the surprise of being addressed. I looked over and saw a tall, dark haired woman standing next to me smiling. She was the same one who had flagged Edward indicating that they were ready for him on set.

"Yeah," I replied curiously, returning her smile.

"It's going to be a long day, you'll want this," she offered holding a director's chair. "And you know you can sit closer if you'd like. You aren't going to see much from all the way back here," she added as if anticipating my decline.

"Oh. Sure," I conceded. "If you're sure I won't be in the way."

"It'll be absolutely fine," she assured me.

"Thank you," I told her sincerely as I followed her. "What's your name?" I inquired as she unfolded the chair for me.

"Heidi," she said with another smile. "There you go. Let me know if there's anything I can get you, alright? I'll be around to check with you in a bit."

"Okay, thanks," I said feeling awkward, receiving such attention.

And then she was off before I could say anything else; quick and on the move, like everyone and everything else.

That afternoon, after helping myself to some assorted fruits, cheeses and crackers that had been lain out, I was walking back to my chair, hoping Edward and the other actors in a particular scene were finally done with it. I'd lost count of how many times they'd began it, made some adjustment and went again… over and over. I hadn't even been all that hungry, but I needed a break; even I was getting frustrated with the scene and I had just been watching it.

I was almost back to the set, taking a pull from my bottle of water when I heard the voice of a boy sounding utterly frustrated.

"I don't know," he said obstinately.

"You're not even trying," she snapped.

"I _am_! I just don't _get_ it," he insisted.

My feet stopped, planting themselves in their place, though I wasn't sure why. I just had a feeling I should.

"Okay," she said letting out a sharp sigh. "Tell you what, Seth," a woman said, sounding flustered, "let's take a break, and start back fresh in say, twenty minutes?"

"'Kay, whatever," he mumbled obviously exasperated.

"Oh! Sorry!" I apologized, nearly colliding with the woman as she flew around the corner.

"Excuse me," she replied with hasty politeness, sidestepped me and kept walking.

I turned the corner and found a brown-haired boy, around sixteen, sitting at a table outside a trailer with a couple books and notebooks. He was flipping his pencil, tapping it on the table, as he looked at his book, aggravated, but still trying.

My heart went out to him. His inability to not understand the material obviously wasn't from lack of desire. I could see the concentration in the posture of his body and the serious expression on his face.

I stepped forward, wanting to help, but then stopped short. It wasn't my place. I tried to turn away from the brown-haired boy in front of me, but I couldn't do it because I knew that I could help him if he gave me the chance. Then before I could stop myself, I called his attention.

"Hey," I said softly so as to not startle him.

He looked up at me. He stopped tapping his pencil and sat up straighter in his chair.

"Hey," he said, still eyeing me curiously.

"What subject are you working on?" I asked, not able to see from where I stood.

"Biology," he said in a scoffing tone. "So much fun," he added, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

I smiled, relieved. I did pretty well with Biology, which was good, since it'd been awhile since I'd referenced the subject, I'd need that on my side for what I was about to do. Or try to do anyway.

"Having trouble?" I asked, even though I already knew it. Telling him I knew he was having trouble would only make him defensive, and then he wouldn't listen to a single word I said.

"Kind of hard to understand," he grumbled petulantly, "when I don't have a microscope to actually look at what they're talking about. These crappy drawings they have in the books aren't really helpful in identifying what it is in the pictures."

"Did you want some help?" I smiled, hoping he would see my genuine interest in helping him.

"It's alright, my tutor will be back soon," he said with a shrug.

"I was pretty good with Bio," I added, almost craving a try at it; wanting to help him learn.

I held my breath as he hesitated. It was only for a beat, but it felt like forever.

"Yeah, sure, why not," he said with a heavy sigh, shoving his books away from him slightly. "I don't understand it the way she's explaining it to me anyway."

I smiled at him, trying to mask just how excited I was about this, as I walked over to his side of the table and took the vacant seat next to him. I had him quickly catch me up to what section he was working on, telling me what he did understand and what parts specifically he didn't get to help me gauge what way might work to best explain things. Then I went from there.

I'd all but forgotten how _good_ it felt to teach, and how amazing the small rush was when I would get someone to understand something they didn't minutes before. When I saw things beginning to click for Seth, it reignited something inside me that I'd snuffed out years ago. I could feel the already brewing feelings to ditch my job begin to bubble, growing more rapid by the minute and quickly threatening to boil over with the passion for teaching beginning to blaze in me once again.

Like how Edward made me feel when I was with him, I began to feel alive and whole—just in a completely different way. It was a fantastic feeling that filled me when I got through to Seth, and I knew he understood the lesson, a feeling spurred from the joy of watching the elation emanating from him with finally understanding something he'd been struggling with. It was such a satisfying thing to see.

When the tutor returned a short while later, I was quick to realize she didn't share our joy. She was angry and seemed almost horrified to find some strange woman "bothering" her student when he should be studying. To her credit, we'd progressed from studying to chatting animatedly. So to her, it probably did look like we were just goofing off. But what she _didn't_ notice was the discussion was about biology—Seth, finally understanding, seemed to have begun to catch my enthusiasm for the subject. The tutor demanded to know who I was and why I was there. I quickly flushed, apologizing for apparently overstepping and trying poorly to explain who I was and that I had been trying to—and did—help him with his lesson. But she didn't want to hear an explanation from either of us. Instead, she just snipped, interrupting us both as we tried to reason with her, telling me to leave and not to bother _her _student again.

Only a minute with the woman and I was pretty sure I knew what Seth's contention was with his tutor; she was too intimidating. How could he learn in that environment? My brain was a jumbled mess just trying to articulate to the woman what I _knew_, how could someone obtain an education from someone who treated them like that?

"Well, I see you didn't goof around with _that_ _girl_ the _entire _time I was gone," she said in a huff looking at Seth's notebook as I timidly walked away, feeling sorry for my apparent overstep. "You got these questions right."

_Of course they're right._ I thought sourly to myself, causing my regretful feelings to fade. Seth was a smart kid, he just wasn't thriving with the tutor he'd been given.

I chanced a look back at Seth. Seeing the woman's back was turned to me, I smiled, giving Seth a thumbs up, mouthing "good job!" wanting to make sure he knew I was proud of him for the work he'd done. He looked back at me with big vibrant eyes and an adorable smile and I felt his pride, at a job well-done, beaming through me.

My phone rang, making me jump and I quickly I skittered away before the woman yelled at either of us for that too, afraid her anger would flare at the sound.

"Hey Rose," I answered, still smiling despite just getting reamed. I was too thrilled about the fact that I'd just taught someone again and sitting on that cheerful cloud made it hard to remain affected by the horrid tutor.

Excited to talk to Rose, instead of heading back to watch Edward, I went over to his trailer to catch up with my best friend.

XXXXX

When Edward found me in his trailer reading a book at the end of the day, I could sense something was… off with him. I wasn't sure what it was, but it made me feel on edge. I tried to brush it off, figuring it was probably just the long day he'd had, remembering that frustrating scene from earlier that I couldn't even handle _watching_ any longer. As much as I wanted to ask him about it, I decided it was best not to press it regardless of whether it was just his day, or if there was something bothering him—he would talk to me about it when and if he was ready. So we walked to the car in an uncomfortable silence, as I tried to bat away the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"So, I heard you were causing trouble this afternoon," Edward said when the driver closed the door to the limo. My chest burned, causing my fingers to tingle, and my face flushed as I felt tears immediately prick my eyes. Edward was angry, he was never angry. And worse, he was angry with _me_.

Wait. "What?" I breathed caught off guard.

The car began to move, pulling us off the lot, heading to the freeway.

"Seth, the kid who plays my little brother in the film, I heard you were distracting him from his studies," he elaborated tersely, cocking an eyebrow at me. "You know, I never thought having you on set would be like having Emmett around," Edward added in a frustrated tone, letting out a heavy sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hold on, distracting him?" I snapped, offended, my hackles rising in defense with the anger that rolled through me. It was one thing for that woman to refuse to listen to me and believe what she wanted, but for her to spout around crap that made Edward mad at me was _not_ okay. "Says who?" I demanded, though I was certain I knew. "I was _helping_ him! The poor kid had no clue what the hell his tutor was trying to teach him—or 'drill into him' would be more accurate," I corrected with a scoff. "I came walking by when the tutor had taken a break and merely offered to help because it was obvious how frustrated he was, I couldn't just _not _help him when I knew I could!"

"Well, Charlotte saw it differently," Edward pointed out shortly.

"Yeah well, she saw it differently because she didn't listen to me or Seth trying to explain. Maybe she needs to listen once and awhile, teaching isn't all about lecturing people," I seethed crossing my arms. "Though she seems to think so," I added indignantly under my breath.

"I know you were probably just trying to help," Edward replied with a sigh, attempting to drain his anger through it, "but like you seem to be aware, Charlotte isn't exactly the nicest person in the world. She tried to get you banned from the set—and almost succeeded—it was everything I could do to convince her to drop it. How about you just steer clear of her from now on, alright?"

"Fine," I conceded sourly. "But what about Seth? It doesn't seem like he's learning anything from her. He's a smart kid, he just isn't flourishing under the 'bark and intimidation' method she seems to be so fond of."

"Will it make you feel better if I mention it to someone?"

I considered that.

"No," I sighed sourly in defeat. "I don't want to possibly cost someone their job if I've got it wrong," I backpedaled. No matter how wretched she'd been to me, I didn't want that—though my intuition told me that I wasn't wrong about her. "Maybe I just caught her on a bad day," I added generously, not believing it.

"With Charlotte, I doubt it," he laughed without humor. "She's been varying degrees of that load of sunshine since she arrived on set," Edward said, reaching across his face to scratch his cheek with his thumb. I licked my lips with want in response. In an instant, I felt my petulance about Charlotte deteriorate and all that remained was Edward and how much I wanted him.

Charlotte who?

Edward chuckled, easily reading my swift change in thoughts.

"Maybe I'll bring it up with Seth and see what he says, alright?" Edward asked with a playful smile on his face at my easily read thoughts.

Wait. What? Oh, right. Seth. Charlotte. Teaching.

Focus Bella.

"I'm sure I'm just overreacting," I began to babble with a sigh, trying to recover from the mind-scramble effect Edward had on me. "It just felt so good to teach someone again. I can't believe how much I've missed it. Maybe that's what's bothering me," I confessed, hearing the longing in my voice.

"What do you mean, 'teach _again_'?" Edward asked curiously.

"What?"

"You said it felt good to 'teach someone _again_' and that you miss it," he elaborated.

"Oh," I blushed, though I wasn't exactly sure why. Edward, noticing my blush, reached up, dragging the back of his fingers down my heated cheek. "I went to school to be a teacher so I did some student teaching. It was great."

"You did?" he asked sounding like he found this fact interesting.

I nodded.

"How come I didn't know that?"

"Because I never became one," I said. "Well, I guess that's not really true. I got licensed, so technically I am a teacher, I just never got a job doing it," I said biting my lip and shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I changed my mind while I was still in college, got a business degree and then got a job at Newton's," I shrugged, chewing on my lip again.

"But you still finished your teaching degree and got licensed?" Edward clarified.

I shrugged, nodding.

"So, why bother with the trouble of doing all that if you had changed your mind?"

My cheeks flamed hotter.

"I don't know," I said quietly. "I'd done student teaching for my degree and I really loved it. So I guess since I knew I was going to be giving it up, I wanted to at least be able to say I was one, if only on paper."

"Hold on, I thought you said you changed your mind. What do you mean, 'give it up'?"

Shit.

I bit my lip again and sighed heavily; better out with it before I chew a hole through my mouth. Besides, I did promise Edward I would trust him, and I wanted to be open and honest with him.

"Ever since I was little, I wanted to become a teacher, just like my mom," I laughed lightly at myself. "And when that desire stuck with me past childhood, I had every intention to do just that. But then when I was in college, I met my ex," I said, like his mention was last week's garbage. "He'd never really particularly understood why I ever would want to become a teacher. In fact he had countless objections, but mostly it was that it was a waste of my potential and the salary was 'shamefully crappy'. None of his complaints about it were ever a factor for me, though. I mean, I didn't pick that career to try and get rich," I rolled my eyes. "At first, I stuck with the plan to become a teacher but it became the source of several arguments between us. A lot of arguments, actually. He wanted me to get a degree in business like he was and kept on me about it, telling me all the long list of reasons why I should, over and over again. Eventually… I caved in," I said, feeling my face burn hotly with embarrassment of admitting that James had been able to dissuade me from pursuing my dream job. "But I couldn't bear dropping my teaching classes. I tried to, but I just couldn't do it. So I kept them and just tacked on the classes I needed for a business degree, graduating with both. He hated that almost as much because not only did it erase pretty much all my free time, it meant I was taking classes through the summer and I didn't finish in four years like I 'should have'. He thought it was stupid that I didn't drop my teaching classes all-together so I could graduate on time, and even dumber that I would waste the money to get licensed afterwards. But when I graduated with that business degree and secured a job at Newton's, the fact that I'd continued the teaching classes didn't seem to bother him anymore."

I remembered how he had smiled, satisfied, when I told him the news about my job offer at Newton's that day, telling me it would be good work experience for a few years until I got a job at some large corporation in Seattle.

Yes. James had big, corporate ladder climbing dreams for me. Dreams that I had pretended were mine too, to make him happy. He saw me as his key to being something of an unstoppable powerhouse—a power couple.

I realized right then that _that_ was what was stupid—not that I'd clung to my dream, no matter how "pathetically", like James had always told me, but that I'd let someone else drive the direction of my life in such a way that it meant I had to abandon it.

Edward looked at me stunned with what I'd just unloaded on him. "Wow. Um, I'm not sure what to even say to that," he breathed, running his hand through his hair. "I have to admit, I'm pretty in awe of you tackling two different degrees at the same time, that's not something most people could do."

I shrugged. "Not to sound boastful, but school always came pretty easy to me. I was always in advanced placement and graduated at the top of my class—not that in a small town like Forks that's saying as much as a school whose class sizes exceed Fork's entire population. And it wasn't like I completed both degrees within four years; it did take me a little longer than that, since I was insistent on 'wasting my potential' continuing with my teaching classes," I tacked on with a bitter laugh, James' voice, saying those words, ringing through my head, making me hate him all over again.

"Bella," Edward said softly, dipping his head to look at my face, "was that the same guy who—"

Edward stopped his question seeing me close my eyes and nod.

I swallowed loudly and took a breath. "Yeah, but he's pretty much the whole list, so…" I told him, trailing off with a dry, uncomfortable laugh, not sure why I'd said all that.

"Don't_ ever_ do that for me," Edward told me after a small length of silence, sounding almost desperate, making me open my eyes and look up at him. When I did, I was met with his bold, green eyes blazing with emotion as they stared into mine, looking just as desperate as his voice sounded. "Don't _ever_ give up something you want for me. I want to give you things, not take them away from you. Especially not something that's your _dream_."

XXXXX

Later that night, an idea came to me—which in itself was saying something because in that very moment, Edward and I were naked, tangled together in the sheets of the hotel bed, so the fact that anything outside of Edward and sex had been able to come to mind was a pretty remarkable thing. I had been contemplating on whether I should do the right thing and let Edward get some sleep, since he had to get up early to be back on set or whether I was going be greedy, climb on top of him, like I wanted, and make love with him again. We were lying there, talking about nothing really. It was that lazy talk after sex, where you were both contently spent and words were spoken in slow murmurs. I wasn't sure what Edward had said that triggered the thought, but what I did know, was the thought was so outside the serene little bubble Edward and I were laying in, that it felt like it had slammed into my head with a crash. I tensed and froze, considering… _seriously_ considering the idea.

"What's the matter, love?" his eyes narrowed with concern**.**

"Nothing," I breathed honestly.

Edward waited silently for a moment, letting me gather my thoughts. But when one moment bled into two then three, he prompted me.

"Bella, could you please tell me what you're thinking before I go mad?" he pleaded tilting my chin up to look at him.

"Sorry," I blushed. "I was just thinking I should do that," I breathed feeling the revelation.

"And what is 'that' exactly?"

"Teach."

"You _should_," he agreed adamantly. "You said it was what you really wanted to do."

I beamed at him, loving him even more for giving me unconditional support—something that, prior to Edward, was foreign to me in a relationship. The feeling resonated with me, helping me believe and trust in Edward in a way that was closer to what he deserved from me.

"But I was thinking, more specifically, being a tutor for kids like Seth," I elaborated, feeling out what he thought about that.

"It would mean a lot of travelling," he warned.

"That's kind of the point, baby," I said with a laugh like it should have been obvious, placing a hand on his cheek, realizing he hadn't caught up to my reasoning. I stared into his eyes, waiting for him to catch up to where my mind had just leaped to moments before.

Then, I saw it. Edward's eyes brightened in the dim room, locking with mine and an excited smile began to grow across his mouth.

"You'd be able to come with me when I'm filming," he breathed happily.

"Ideally, yeah," I nodded, my face beginning to hurt, my smile was so wide. "Of course that's all in theory. I don't know if my license is still good or if I'd need a special one to do this. Or even _how_ to get into doing such a thing, much less managing being able to get a job on the same films you're doing. Plus I've never _actually_ taught officially outside of my student teaching jobs, I don't know if they'd even want me…"

"We'll figure it out, okay?" he said nodding as if doing so would get me to agree more quickly.

It worked. I began nodding with him before consciously doing so.

"If that is what _you want _to do, we'll figure it out. I'll make some calls and mention it to some people on the set tomorrow," he added, "and see what I can find out."

I marveled for a moment at how _alive_ I felt. I had found a way not only for Edward and I to potentially be together more without him giving up his career and dream, but also for me to actually get mine. It was a dream I'd given up on, stuffed to the back of the closet and shut the door; forgotten. I was so happy that I could feel tears of joy and relief threaten to spill over.

And then reality hit and I could feel my face, my whole body, slump under its weight.

I had a job I couldn't just quit; I had an apartment I had four more months left on the lease that I needed to keep paying on. I didn't know how long this would take to set up or even if it would bring in enough money to cover my rent, much less food and other things.

I felt… stuck. Like I had come just within reach of everything I ever wanted only to have a wall dropped between it and me.

Those tears of joy quickly turned into ones of sadness and frustration as they fell quickly down my face.

When Edward asked me what was wrong, I told him, feeling even more defeated hearing the words out loud.

"Bella, that's nothing," he chastised in a loving tone as he wiped away my tears. "Let me help you, I'll settle your lease. That's not a problem at all. Then you can be free to quit your job as soon as you want and focus on this."

I didn't want him to do that. I opened my mouth to tell him just that, but he anticipated me, easily reading my thoughts.

"Bella, you're going to have to get over this issue you have to me spending money on you. We're together, you can't keep thinking about it as _my_ money or as it being separate from _yours_. The way I see it, it's all _ours_."

I knew he thought my aversion to him paying for things, that made him far beyond generous, was absurd, but it was difficult for me to accept money that I hadn't earned.

"Fine," Edward said, in response to my expression, which I was certain betrayed my thoughts. "You can pay me back for it, if it will make you feel better," he added with a defeated laugh when I didn't answer immediately.

I considered it. I wanted this more than anything in the world; getting to be with Edward and have my dream job.

"Besides," Edward added, "I've been debating on asking you something. Not because I'm unsure, but because I'm unsure of what you'll say."

Diverted, I eyed him curiously.

"What's that?"

Edward pulled his hand through his hair and cleared his throat looking down at the sheets.

He was nervous.

"Move in with me?" he asked, his eyes looking back up at mine.

Wait. What?

My stomach tightened and I took a sharp breath and held it, forgetting how to exhale. And it was as if I could feel all my inner Bella's shaking me frantically, demanding me to say "yes".

"What?" I breathed, unable to manage anything else.

"Move in with me," he breathed again, less a question this time. "I've been wanting to ask you purely for selfish reasons, but now… now it just makes _sense; _especially if you're going to quit your job and pursue teaching…" he trailed off.

It did make sense. It made a lot of sense.

But I shook that thought off; I refused to let that drive my answer. I'd spent too much of my life letting what "made sense" and what I felt I _should_ do drive my decisions. I wasn't going to do that anymore.

No. This had to be on what I _wanted_; what would make me happy. And if this was a decision I was making solely on what made me happy, there wasn't a doubt in my mind.

"I know, it's really soon," Edward added, filling the silence. "But it doesn't feel like it's too soon—it just feels… right."

A huge smile spread across my face; I didn't need persuasion. I knew what I _wanted_. I knew that without a shred of doubt. And like he'd said, it felt _right_, us being together. I began nodding frantically—feeling as if it were in time with my headful of Bellas doing the same—too full of sheer joy to speak.

"You will?"

"Definitely," I breathed, finding my voice, feeling fresh tears spill over. My emotions were all over the place tonight. "Absolutely. Yes."

Edward grabbed me, kissing me in earnest. Our kisses quickly turned into more, making it apparent that sleep was not going to happen any time soon, as he rolled himself on top of me and we detangled ourselves from the sheets slid between us.

I froze and my eyes flew open when I felt him push himself against me, beginning to push himself past my threshold—he hadn't put on a condom.

Edward looked down at me, meeting my eyes as if acknowledging my concern. His breathing was heavy with desire as he kept his eyes locked with mine for a moment, and then brushed his nose against mine as his lids closed heavily and he went in for another kiss.

"Edward—" I breathed, pulling back as he rolled his hips lightly, just barely entering me. I looked desperately for his eyes, my breathing heavy, wanting it, but knowing Edward's reservations.

"I know," he replied, meeting my eyes, before closing his again to deliver another kiss.

"Are you sure?" I murmured between kisses.

He opened his eyes again, smiling softly. "I've never been more sure about anything, as I am about you, Bella.

"I know what you mean," I smiled, marveling at the man I was somehow able to call mine. I knew this was a big thing for him, and the significance of what he was doing because of that made it mean that much more. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too," he said, kissing me again, but didn't proceed.

After a moment, I began softly nodding, letting him know I wanted him to keep going, I was ready. My hips rolled lightly with impatience as I held his head in my hands, greedily keeping his lips on mine.

Edward breathed a light chuckle, holding himself from me. I knew though, he wasn't hesitating because he was having second thoughts about what he was going to do, the smile I felt on his face gave him away, he was hesitating to tease me because he knew my body was begging for him.

"Your fault," I breathed petulantly as I relaxed my hips back down to the mattress abruptly.

"Don't tell anyone," he whispered into my ear with a smile of amusement in his voice at my petulance, "but I love that I do that to you."

I began to laugh, but it was cut off by Edward's lips, eager and wanting. Then just when I felt I couldn't take one more minute not being connected to him, he pushed himself into me causing me to gasp and Edward to let out a curse, both of us pausing for a moment, taking in the feel of nothing between us before we resumed with ardor.

"I'm _really_ glad I never knew exactly how much better it felt not using a condom," Edward confessed when we were done.

"Oh no, baby," I laughed. "It's only me that feels _that_ good," I bragged jokingly.

"I don't doubt that for a second," he replied hungrily and completely serious, kissing my temple.

* * *

**Hmmmm…**

**Oh, I'm sorry. Hi. Yeah. Ahem. I kind of forgot you were there for a moment, distracted by the warm, fuzzy happiness that I got with this chapter.**

**Anyway. **

**When I sent this chapter to MC, I realized I hadn't had a song rec for any chapters recently. I tried to think of a song that might fit this one and came up short. But then, kismet happened. I was listening to my iPod on my drive to work this morning, having it shuffle all the 6,000 songs I think I have on there now, and this song came on. **

**It was perfect. **

**Have a listen and think… Edward singing this about Bella and what he's learned about her and James… I think you'll agree… sorry I couldn't find a better vid of the song:**

**http: / / www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch?v=G504KJCc93A**

**As always, I love to know what you think. So, click the [Review] button and let me know.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**-TJE**


	27. Chapter 27 Tying Up Loose Ends

**Thanks for reading, reviewing, rec'ing & adding to communities. I appreciate it more than I can say.**

**My sincerest apologies for the delay in this update; I had another bad stint with my ongoing health issues. The last few weeks have been difficult to manage. And creativity, at least not for me, doesn't exactly flourish when you're exhausted and in pain. Hopefully my body will behave and let me get back to my, usually manageable, biweekly update I'd been doing until this fic is done. Thanks for understanding.**

**Some of you voiced a note of …petulance with Edward and his anger towards Bella in the last chapter so I wanted to quickly address that:**

**First, let me put this in Edward's perspective; he just finished a long, tedious, aggravating day filming when he's bombarded by Charlotte and set security, whom she's wrangled up to get Bella kicked off set. Then after fighting to get agreement from Charlotte to drop it, who finally does, as long as Bella "doesn't get anywhere near Seth again", he then goes to get Bella, now in a justifiably foul mood.**

**Let me ask you a question. Have you **_**never**_** been short with or gotten angry at someone, even though they themselves really did nothing wrong and you know that they don't deserve to get snapped at, but your anger and frustration bleeds into the way you treat them? I can't say I know anyone that hasn't happened to. **

**It wasn't like Edward really believed that Bella was goofing off with Seth or purposely distracting him from his studies—or did anything wrong at all—because he didn't. But his day and the events that took place just spilled over and he, unintentionally, took it out on Bella. He does catch himself doing it and makes a point to wrangle his unrelated feeling of aggravation in (I think you can pick out where that is if you re-read the previous chapter).**

**I said it earlier, but I'll say it again; Edward isn't perfect. Yes, he's kind, caring, sweet, patient and very understanding. But he is human.**

**Thanks MC. XO**

**It's a full chapter.**

**Enjoy**

* * *

**Chapter 27: Tying Up Loose Ends**

When I got home from work Monday, the day after I'd gotten back from Atlanta, I felt good.

No. I felt absolutely fantastic.

Despite the fleeting remarks that I'd received from my co-workers about being a 'big star' now because I'd been on the Première red carpet with "_the _Anthony Cullen", the feeling I got from giving my boss notice that I was quitting my job, that I never wanted in the first place, was completely liberating. It wasn't like I hated working at Newton's, I actually didn't mind my job—my soon to be _former _job. I grinned. It was more the fact that it was never something I'd _wanted_. It was a job I'd gone after for James and kept because I didn't loathe it and it paid the bills. And to be honest, for some reason, at the point our relationship ended, the idea of becoming a teacher, like I'd always wanted, just didn't feel like it was a possibility for me any longer. By then I just felt like I _couldn't_ do it; I didn't feel like I could do anything.

My boss had taken it well, telling me that, while he really didn't want to lose me, he understood and was glad that I was giving a two week notice to give him a chance to get my responsibilities handed off to other employees until they could find a replacement. I blushed when he then added that he wasn't surprised, elaborating that from the moment it was confirmed about me that I was with "that actor guy", he figured I wouldn't hang around for much longer. My brother-in-law, on the other hand, didn't take the news quite as well. He seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack from the time I spoke the words, to the time I left his office. He worried out loud about the projects I was running and how they were going to manage finding someone else who could take over for me. I knew I did my job well, but I had to admit, it felt nice knowing that he felt I was so integral to keeping the company running. Mike had enough to stress out about though—Riley, the twins on the way and a pregnant wife who was putting a strain on his bank account—without my telling him I was leaving on top of it, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

But not bad enough to stay.

Definitely not that bad.

I threw my keys on the table, and noticed my phone was blinking when I set it down next to them, indicating I'd missed a call.

It was from Edward. My bottom lip jutted out slightly with the knowledge that I'd missed him, but then couldn't help but smile widely seeing he'd called. I realized I must have had the music volume turned up too high with my great mood I was in leaving work, celebrating a bit, to hear the song my ringtone was set to. I listened to the message.

"Hey love," he began and my stomach fluttered with the sound of his voice. "Um. Give me a call when you get this, would you? I—" He paused and my stomach dropped. He sounded …angry. No. Not quite angry. Short? Aggravated? Upset. He sighed, heavily, his voice relaxing with the action. "I really wish you were still here with me. I love you Bella," longing coloring his tone now, making the good butterflies return, fluttering around with the bad.

I swatted at the feeling in my gut that worried if something was wrong. If something was wrong, it wasn't something wrong with us. Not with the way he said he wished I was still there with him.

I called him back, but got his voicemail.

Crap.

"Hey baby," I said hearing my voice quivering; apparently my efforts to reassure myself that nothing was wrong, not quite taking. "Just returning your call. Sorry I missed you. You sounded upset… is everything okay? Call me back when you can. Love you."

I hung up the phone and set it down on the table next to my keys, staring at it for a minute, willing Edward to call me back so I could hear him tell me I was worried over nothing. Finally giving up on telepathy, I turned to the fridge and pulled out a beer. I twisted it open and let the fridge door close behind me. When I threw the cap in the trash, I jumped with the sound my phone let out with an incoming text message.

It was from Edward.

_**I just got back on set to do some night scenes and can't talk right now. Can I call you later, when I'm done? It might be really late, even your time but I really need to talk to you.**_

He needed to talk to me? My chest felt heavy. That couldn't be good.

I texted him back with shaky fingers, my stomach uneasy again, my earlier reassurance to myself no longer abating my concern.

_**Okay. Yes, of course you can call me. Whenever.**_

His reply came quickly.

_**I just listened to your message. I'm sorry if I frightened you. Don't worry love, everything with us is great. Alright? I'll talk to you later tonight. I miss you. X**_

I took a relieved breath, holding onto his words. Then I chastised myself for letting old insecurities creep up on me. They weren't warranted when it came to Edward. I knew that.

Old habits…

_**I miss you too baby. Talk to you tonight. xo**_

I just began walking away from the table when it sounded again. I smiled as I turned back anticipating it was another text from Edward. I was right.

_**I'll have you know, I've been smiling like a complete idiot whenever I think of you all moved in by the time I return from filming. (Which is all the time.) **_

Followed quickly by another:

_**I realize this means Dem is right, you've turned me into a "sappy little pussy" …is it terrible that I like it? X**_

I smiled, my worry fading away completely with his last texts. Whatever was wrong, if there was anything at all, definitely didn't have anything to do with us. I quick replied:

_**Only if the fact that I find it adorably sexy is terrible too. xo**_

_**Well that just makes me like it all the more. Talk to you tonight love. X**_

I smiled as I set my phone back down and walked through the apartment. I took a sip of my beer as I walked and turned on Edward's CD, longing to hear his voice again. I was already missing him madly, but I found it wasn't that gut wrenching, horrible feeling of loss like I'd had; the feeling that accompanied a head full of doubt and insecurities before. Insecurities I felt I was finally able to begin to shed because of Edward and how he went out of his way to prove to me he was nothing like the man in the only other real relationship I'd ever had.

Edward's voice came from the speakers; sensual without trying, velvet and masculine.

A sound of mixed pleasure and longing vibrated from my throat as I stood there in front of the speaker taking in the swell of his voice. The sound in my throat came with the light, floating feeling of blissful warmth that spread through me whenever I heard him sing. It was like a hum of half contentment, half a sigh of resignation, knowing that I was going to have to suffice myself with Edward's voice and my memories for now. Then I turned from the stereo and my eyes landed on the boxes lying on the couch, waiting to be filled.

I bit my lip and shook my head in pleasant disbelief; I was going to pack up my apartment because Edward had asked me to move in with him. I couldn't believe I found someone far more amazing than I'd ever thought I'd ever find in a man, not to mention that he thought I was pretty amazing too. So amazing, in fact, he continued to want more of me, so much more, he wanted to live with me, to be with me all the time.

The smile I already wore from thoughts of Edward grew to the point I thought my face was going to split in two.

Edward had that effect on me.

I took a deep, breath to settle my overwhelming bubble of bliss and grabbed a box, trying to focus my mind at the task of packing. But my mind rounded back, unable to let go of the thought, marveling; Edward and I were going to live together. And on top of that, I was actually going to pursue becoming a teacher, just like I always wanted to do. And, if it worked out the way I hoped, we should both be able to do what we love without sacrificing much, if any, time together to do so.

It all seemed like it was coming together, fitting perfectly, like he was the missing puzzle piece in my life I'd never known existed and I was his—like it was meant to be.

But it was so perfect I found it was difficult to wrap my head around—too good to be true, maybe.

I had never thought there was someone like Edward out there for me. I'd contented myself with the fact that I just didn't feel the connection or urges others did with the opposite sex. I'd come to the conclusion that I wasn't ever going to experience relationships like others seemed to. But then Edward came into my life and turned that theory completely upside down, being everything and more than I'd ever thought I would never have.

My phone sounded with a text, interrupting my thoughts. I left the place I stood in front of the speaker, walked over to the table and picked up my phone, hoping it was another from Edward.

It was from Rose. I couldn't help the small disappointment that it wasn't Edward, but was still excited to hear from her.

She had been the first to know about the news of me moving in with Edward, finding out while I was still in Atlanta. Well, technically Alice was the first one to know, but Rose was the first person_ I_ had told. I opened our text thread:

_**So, the past few days I've been wondering what the appropriate "I'm ecstatic for you but want to make it perfectly clear I'm also pissed as hell that you're leaving me" going away gift be.**_

I laughed and my phone sounded with another text from her:

_**I think I figured it out; a framed picture of the two of us.**_

_Oh, I'd like that._ I thought; touched by the sentiment. No matter how much I paled in comparison next to her, the meaning would supersede the contrast.

Wait.

How would giving me a picture of the two of us say she's pissed at me leaving her? I began replying to her with that question when my phone sounded with another text from Rose. I swiftly abandoned my text and read hers:

_**See, on the surface it seems sweet and sentimental. But really it's so you have to look at my face every day and feel incredibly guilty that you moved so far from me. **_

I was still chuckling in amusement when another text beeped in.

_**Which, I'm banking on will result in more frequent visits from you to come see me, because I'm going to miss you like hell, Bell.**_

I laughed out loud again and replied to her, telling her the gift idea was perfect, and I promised to make sure to come see her all the time, warning that it might be so much it'll be like I never left because I was going to miss her too. I also reminded her that since she was seeing Emmett now, that fact alone made me certain we'd see one another often. It seemed Edward and Emmett, despite their polar opposite personalities, were not just brothers but best friends. I doubted if too long of time went between them seeing one another, and if we were with them, naturally the assumption would prove accurate.

It had been an eventful last few days. Apparently when I went flying off to Atlanta with Edward, Emmett had flown from LA to Port Angeles to see Rose and got her to give in to what she wanted, but reluctant to give in on—to be with Emmett. Though the concession apparently came with caveats around Henry and what was best for him. Rose had told me that those stipulations included the fact that Rose wasn't going to let Emmett meet Henry until she felt certain he was going to be more of a constant presence, instead of just a few days here and there just stopping through.

I was happy for them. Rose needed to move on from Royce—no matter how much I liked him and had previously been vying for their rekindling—because their relationship was over. Besides, I really liked Emmett and I had a feeling he would be good for her.

I headed to the bedroom to slip into Edward's t-shirt I took home with me, breathing in deeply as the fabric glided across my face, humming in contentment as the smell of him filled my lungs. Then I put on some sweats and threw my hair up; deciding the job of packing would be better tackled in comfortable clothes. When I walked back out to the living room, I picked up one of the boxes off the couch that I'd snagged from work—with Mike's blessing, of course—and began putting my apartment into one of four determined categories; throw, donate, store and take to Edward's place.

No. Not Edward's. _Our_ place. He made that very clear to me. With my agreeing to move in with him, it was no longer his place but _ours._

I smiled at the memory of his aggravation over the fact that I kept referring to it as _his_ place for the rest of my duration in Atlanta. It was a difficult thing for me to consider it as anything other than his. I figured that after I had lived there for a while, I might start feeling like it was _our_ place, but I just didn't feel like I had any ownership of it yet.

I tried the words out in my head. _Our place. _My_ place_.

I felt a thrill roll through me. Holy crow.

Then I laughed as a thought outside the fact that I was moving in with Edward came to me. I was going to live in LA with a movie star. How surreal had my life just become?

A set of knocks rapping at the door made me jump; the noise yanking me from my thoughts.

I turned the music off and checked out the window to see if I could figure out who was at my door, because I hadn't been expecting anyone. But there weren't any familiar vehicles on the street below.

I felt my eyebrows push together in confusion.

Another set of knocks sounded as I walked to the door. I rolled my eyes at the person's impatience figuring it had to have been one of my siblings. I looked out the peephole and found I was right; it was Jake.

"Hey you spoiled little brat," Jacob greeted me with one of his contagious, Jacoby grins, when I opened the door, his whole face was freshly shaved—I'd guessed he finally couldn't handle having the patch of hair on his chin. I had to say, though, he had kept that look for a lot longer than he kept most of the other variations.

"Hey you big jerk," I grinned back automatically in reply to his contagious smile, stepping aside as he walked into the apartment.

"So, the rumor's true, huh?" he asked eyeing the boxes as he walked past me, heading to the kitchen.

I closed the door, picked up a vase I had on my end table and began to wrap it in newspaper. I fervently hoped the unexplained blush I felt heat my face would fade before he looked up at me from the refrigerator where he was crouched down, grabbing a beer.

Why was I blushing?

"Yeah," I said, putting the paper covered vase in a box to take to Edward's pl—, to take to _our_ place. "I was going to tell you tonight. I should have known that as soon as I told Mike that I was quitting my job at Newton's, he'd tell Jess," I rolled my eyes. "Though I'm surprised she hasn't called me if the word is out. I guess I figured the impossible was true and Mike hadn't said anything. Sorry Chief, I should have told you sooner."

"Yeah, you should have," he agreed opening the beer bottle, tossing the cap into the garbage and taking a drink. "Jess is _pissed_ at you that she had to hear about all this from Mike. She was ranting something about she shouldn't have to find everything about your relationship from everyone and everywhere other than you. So she's giving you the silent treatment." He shrugged with one shoulder, giving a playful smirk.

"Doesn't she realize that's not a punishment?" I quipped with a laugh. I felt bad, but I just couldn't resist the jibe.

Jacob laughed with me and took another drink of his beer.

"So what's going on Bells?" he asked pushing the stack of empty, flattened boxes on the couch to the side, before he plopped down on the cleared space. "I knew you said you guys were serious, but moving to LA to move in with him? You've only known him for—what has it been?—a couple months? And most of that time has been spent with you two in separate states. Isn't that kind of quick to be quitting your job and moving two states away to live with a guy, no matter _who_ he is? I mean seriously Bells, I bet he hasn't even experienced the 'joy' of what you're like PMSing."

I glared at him in warning. Jake breathed a laugh, catching that the comment bothered me, like it was designed to do, and smiled back mischievously.

"I'm serious, no guy should ever live with a chick before they _know_ that they can handle what she's like PMSing," he continued trying to keep a straight face, as my face heated with anger. "And I can speak from years of experience, living in the same house as you, it is _not_ pretty. He doesn't know what he's signed himself up for."

That was when I picked up the marker I was going to use to write on the boxes and chucked it at his head. Jake pulled up his arms and turned his face as it made a hard "smack" when it hit the wall, narrowly missing his head. He looked at the wall where the marker hit and laughed hardily.

"That's _not_ funny Jacob."

"Aw, come on, not even a little bit?" he asked still laughing.

I could feel my scowl deteriorating. Jake's laughter was contagious. But I was _not_ amused.

"No," I insisted, working hard to keep the smile from my face.

Jake laughed harder, noticing my efforts to keep my scowl. Then he took a breath and sighed.

"Okay, okay, I get it. It's not funny," he said with a grin, holding up his hands in surrender. "But if it's any consolation, Jess is way worse—poor Mike." He added shaking his head.

I shot him a look and rolled my eyes at him as I resumed packing.

"Seriously though, Bells, you really think moving in with him—moving states away from all your friends and family—and up and _quitting your job_ is a good idea?"

"Honestly, I think it's the best idea I've ever had," I told him, grabbing my beer and taking a drink.

"How the hell do you figure that?" he asked, truly baffled by my reply.

"It's the first time in a _long_ time that I've done something because it's purely what I _want_ to do, not something that I think I should do or what someone else wants me to do," I told him.

"You want to quit your job to follow a guy around?" Jake asked disbelievingly. I knew it wasn't because he was trying to mock me, he was honestly trying to figure it out with the information he had because that was not me. "Jess, yeah, I'd accept that, but you...?"

"No, I want to quit the job I'd gotten for James, to pursue the job I've always wanted to have," I corrected. "And hopefully, as a bonus, it'll mean Edward and I will be able to see one another more."

"You've always wanted to work on a movie set?" Jake asked, disbelief coloring his blatant confusion.

He was so lost.

"No, a teacher."

"A teacher? I thought you changed your mind about teaching?" he asked, even more confused.

I had to remember, that to him, this was coming out of nowhere.

"No," I laughed without humor. "I didn't become a teacher because James didn't want me to be a teacher, not because I changed my mind about becoming one," I began grabbing my CDs, shoving them into a box roughly, accentuating my points with the clamoring of the plastic CD jewel cases crashing against the others, my petulance at both James and myself running into the tone of my voice. "I got a business degree because that's what_ he_ _wanted _me to do. I found and secured the job at Newton's because that was what _James_ wanted. I was going to get a job at a corporation in Seattle, after being at Newton's for a few years, because that was what _he_ wanted me to do. _I_ never stopped wanting to be a teacher." I paused breathing another humorless laugh, holding a few CDs in my hand. Then saving them from the brutality I had just put the others through, I set them softly on top of the stack. "I guess I must be a better liar than I thought if you believed me when I told you I didn't want become a teacher anymore."

"Oh no! You suck at lying," he retorted quickly, stating what he felt was obvious. "And I didn't believe you at first. Remember?"

"Oh yeah, Chief, I remember," I told him laughing once because I did remember that—clearly. I remembered when I'd told Jake I had changed my mind about becoming a teacher and was going to go for a business degree instead, Jake had called me on it. He hadn't bought my lie. We ended up having a huge fight about it too, one that started with the abrupt change in college direction and ended with Jacob telling me what he really thought about James.

It was a horrible fight—one that haunted me after I found James cheating on me. I berated myself over it, thinking of how I should have listened to Jake when he'd told me I was making a mistake, instead of stubbornly holding my ground—something I did because I thought it was to be good for me, listening to James. And then I had worried when Jake had been proven right, that he'd tell me he told me so. He didn't though. Instead he brought over beer and a couple movies to my place in an attempt to cheer me up. Or at least just be there for me in the guy way he could.

I laughed, realizing just then that one of the movies Jake had brought over was the movie Edward and Emmett were in together, _Off the Record_. Jake had figured bringing an action movie about cops and a horror flick were the safest choices for things to have me watch that wouldn't make me cry even more.

It was so odd to think of that moment now, watching that movie, knowing now what I know and where I was now—emotionally, mentally and relationship wise with one of the main actors in that movie none-the-less. I never would have believed, much less would the thought have ever come to mind, that I'd be not only with Edward—or Anthony as I knew him as then—but packing up my apartment to move in with him. It would have been as unbelievable of a concept to accept as the world being flat or gravity pulls things away from the ground.

"But then you kept saying it so many times," Jake continued, breaking me from my muse, "that you _wanted_ to get a business degree, that you _wanted_ to get an office job—it started to sound like it was the truth."

I nodded, because I understood. I'd told Jake, and everyone else, the same lie I had told myself. And he was right, after a while, I had said it so many times that it began to sound believable; so much so that I actually, almost believed it myself.

"Hold on," Jake said. "Didn't you say becoming a teacher would mean you'd see one another _more_?" he asked but immediately followed it with a follow-up question, rephrasing his first before I could reply. "How is becoming a teacher going to allow you two to see each other more? It's not like you can go get teaching jobs here and there around the country for a month or two wherever he's filming," he scoffed, throwing out something he thought was a farfetched, impossible idea.

"Actually, it's exactly like that."

"You're cracked," Jake said looking at me like I'd lost my mind.

"No, I'm not," I insisted. "When child actors are on set filming, they still have school, it's law that minors have to do so much schooling each day, so they hire tutors to teach them on set between shooting scenes. I still have to figure out the details, but that's what I've decided I'm going to do. And, Edward is in full support of this for me. He knows it's what I want to do and is making some inquiries about it for me right now."

"How long is that going to take though? You don't even have your degree."

"Actually, I do."

"What?"

"It didn't take me longer to get through school because I switched majors in the middle. It took so long, because I didn't actually drop any of my classes I needed for my teaching degree. I got both degrees."

"How come I never knew that, you're my sister for God's sake? Shit Bells, I suddenly feel like I don't even know who you are anymore; you have a degree you never told anyone about, you quit your job out of the blue, you're up and moving away with some guy you barely know. None of that is the Bella I know!"

"You say it like they're bad things."

"I just don't like that he's changing you."

"Edward is not changing me," I disagreed with a shake of my head. "_James_ changed me into someone he wanted, and even that ended up not being enough for him," my voice slipped into a resentful tone as tears burned my eyes.

Jackholeasscrack.

"Right now, what I'm doing is quitting a job and, in turn, a career path, I _never_ wanted," I continued, "and pursuing one I always did. Edward hasn't changed me. He's helping me realize that there wasn't ever anything wrong with whom I really was—and am—in the first place, and that he loves me _because_ of it. Not in spite of it."

Silence filled thickly through the room as Jake mulled this over.

"Why didn't you ever tell me—or anyone for that matter—that you still got your teaching degree?" Jacob asked, breaking the silence.

"I knew it would just raise questions, about me and James I didn't want to answer, and in turn persuasions from everyone that I should still go into teaching. It was hard enough as it was to give it up; trying to convince everyone else on top of myself that I could be happy with this other route would have just made it so much harder," my voice broke, but I quickly recovered. "So, I just told everyone the overview and left the rest alone; deciding that the details were best kept to myself. I'd already made up my mind on it, so I didn't want to make the decision more painful by telling everyone else things they didn't need to know.

"And as for Edward, you really shouldn't worry about me with him…" I paused, trying to figure out the best way to describe it to him. "Remember when you met Leah?"

Jake rolled his eyes at me like I'd asked him the stupidest question in the world.

"Come on, I'm serious, just answer me," I pressed.

"Yeah, of course I remember when I met Leah," he said impatiently.

"Remember how you'd told me that there was something about her that was different than everyone else; something that had you unable to think about your life without her in it from then on?"

"The way you say it, you make me sound like a ball-less pansy," he grumbled.

Men and their egos.

"Ball-less pansy aside," I said with a chuckle and rolled my eyes, shaking my head at my brother with a smile of amusement, "that's the way it is with Edward. I can't look away and I can't imagine my life without him or a future where he's not in it."

"Maybe so," Jacob conceded after a brief pause, "but I still think that it's a really bold move to leave everything you've ever known behind in a bat of an eye over a guy you barely know."

I took a beat to answer him, not because I wasn't sure about moving in with Edward, but because I wanted to word my answer in a way that said it right.

"I was with James for _years_ and it turned out I didn't actually _know_ him," I disagreed. Jake's eyes hardened and his jaw clenched with a fresh rush of anger at my ex rolling through him. "I didn't really know him _at all_. And while I haven't been with Edward for a long stretch of _time_, it feels like I know him and relate to him better than I ever have with anyone."

_The first couple days aside._ I amended with a smile, thinking back to the first couple days with Edward and how I felt like he told me nothing and was so hard to read, frustrating me to no end.

"Time does not exactly equate how well you know someone," I added.

I felt had every reason in the world to run headlong towards Edward and I couldn't think of one single reason not to.

"Apparently not," Jacob interrupted in a grumbling mumble. "I've known you your whole life, and just today found out there's a _lot_ about you that I don't know."

"No Chief," I said, walking around to sit on the coffee table in front of him, beer in hand. "I think you knew. Maybe not a lot of the 'whys' or specific 'whats,' but you knew. I think that's why you never got over hating James. You begrudgingly held your tongue a lot because you didn't know all the details I never shared to back up your gut feeling, but I think you knew," I paused. "But the problem now is, you're taking all those feelings you didn't act on with James and taking them out on Edward. Think about it," I pleaded. "Are your issues with Edward really about _him_? Or left-over from James?"

Jacob's eyes tightened as he looked at me. When he didn't reply right away, I spoke again.

"I know that it's taken me quite a bit of effort these past couple months to get past it too," I nodded, taking his silence as acquiesce. "But Edward is _nothing_ like James. Trust me on that." I laughed lightly.

A flash of the reasons why shot through me; Edward's green eyes piercing through me with want, the way his expression would change when he told me he loved me—his expression telling me his words just as easily as the words themselves now I knew what to look for. His smile that was different for me than for anyone else. The way he'd hum in content when I touched him or how every cell in my body came alive when he touched me. How sorely I missed him when he wasn't near me. The way Edward wanted in me what I was…

The differences went on and on. The only thing James and Edward had in common was they were both men. But even that wasn't really true because I wouldn't classify James as a _man_. For him only the loosest definition of the word applied.

"Alright," Jake conceded, sitting back, relaxing into his seat, taking a swig of his beer.

"Alright?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

"Alright," he repeated. "I know you really think that. And yeah, you might have a point with the whole, 'taking out on Edward things about James,' whatever." He waved his hand in front of him accentuating the "whatever" and took another drink from his bottle.

"Something like that, yeah," I laughed. "It hurts to admit when I make good points, doesn't it?"

"I do hate it."

"You must be miserable a lot then."

"I must."

We sat in companionable silence for a couple minutes.

"Okay, I have a condition," Jacob piped up.

"A condition?" I laughed.

"Yeah, a condition."

"Okay…?"

"Can we go back to messing with one another like we used to? Ever since you met Edward, we haven't really joked around."

"That's not my fault Chief."

Jacob rolled his eyes and shook his head, taking another drink of beer, deciding my comment did not warrant a reply.

"I know that picking on me is one of your greatest joys in life, Jacob. What kind of sister would I be if I denied you that?" I smiled as I took a drink of my beer.

"Exactly."

XXXXX

A few hours later, I had finally gotten off the phone with Jessica, making up to her for neglecting my knowledge of the fact that she needed to be in the know, filling her in on every last detail of what my life with Edward was like. Including all the gory details of what happened at the movie Première, and I have to say she was very supportive and said she understood saying she didn't think she could handle it either.

Well. I didn't fill her in on _every_ detail. Not to say she hadn't tried to get details of what it was like with Edward like that, because she did—repeatedly—I just didn't cave to her persuasion on that subject. That was private and all mine.

By the time I hung up with her, she was mostly mollified—still a bit petulant that I refused to share details about what Edward was like in bed, but mollified all the same. She would have to live vicariously through her imagination, because I was _so not_ discussing my sex life with my gossipy, fan-girling sister.

I checked the face of my phone as I hung up to make sure that I hadn't missed a call from Edward.

Nope. He still hadn't called. He wasn't kidding when he said it would be late.

I pulled a soda out of the refrigerator, deciding another beer would only make me tired and I didn't want to miss Edward's call.

I debated on what to do while I packed up and decided to watch a movie instead of playing Edward's CD again, beginning to feel my obsessive playing of it was a little past plain "girlfriend missing him" and more like crazed teenager obsession.

How embarrassing would that be if I actually wore the CD out?

But then my eyes fell on the movie _Undone_ a private smile spread across my face and I pulled it off the shelf, deciding to watch that one while I packed. As I popped the movie in, I couldn't help but remember Edward's playful tease and then his following confession, telling me he loved me for the first time. And then what followed…

Hmmm.

The movie started and I resumed my packing. When I walked past the box of CDs I'd already taped shut, but hadn't yet been categorized—initially planning to take them with me to Edw— to _our_ place but then wondered if I could possibly own any CD that Edward didn't already own himself—leaving it left homeless for the time being until I decided what to do with it, curiosity struck me.

I ripped the box open with some effort and pulled out all the CDs I'd already packed away. I quickly found the handful of Rules of Caius CDs I had been searching for, putting them aside in a stack. When I had all of them, I gathered them up and took them over to the couch, not bothering to re-pack the other CDs that were now scattered all over the floor.

Edward's voice pulled me from my task. I looked up and his piercing green eyes greeted me accompanying his voice on the television screen.

I sighed with a mixture of content and longing before I returned my attention to the CDs, reluctantly pulling my eyes away from Edward's face.

I opened up the first jewel case and pulled out the jacket sleeve, unfolded it and looked at the writing credits after each listed song. I knew I wouldn't find Edward's name, but I wondered what penname he had used, and some burning curiosity had me wondering which songs he had written. I knew he'd said he had at least some part in writing most of Rules of Caius' songs, as he'd said as much, but I wondered which ones beyond the ones he'd played for me in his hotel room in New York. Part of me wanted to see if I could guess, like a self-test of how well I knew Edward, and if it was enough that I could guess if he'd been involved in the writing. Another part of me, wanted to simply unlock another piece of him, however obscurely.

There were several names on the writing credits, many of them were Rules of Caius band members, but every single one in the first CD I opened had the name, C. Ayden appended to it.

C. Ayden?

I opened the next CD and the next. Every single song, but one, had the name, C. Ayden, in the credits and the song he didn't have credit on was some non-song of the band members talking and messing around with a few bars of music. Edward was being modest. He'd written _all_ their stuff. The second most popular name was Demetri's, and it was listed on maybe half of the songs, at most. Edward must have been the C. Ayden person.

I wondered how he had come up with that penname.

My phone sounded with a text, interrupting my quandary. I picked up my phone I'd had sitting next to me and saw Edward had sent me a text.

_**Everything alright there? You okay? I'm so sorry. X**_

I laughed.

_**LOL - Yes, Edward. I'm fine. I'm busy packing. :) xo**_

_**Good, keep packing. I want you moved home already. I'm sorry for this. We're very nearly done. It should be another hour at the very most and then I'll be able to call you. Okay? X**_

_**It's fine. Really. **_

Then I added.

_**Maybe you could help me with something. I came across my Rules of Caius**_ _**CDs while packing. So that name I see attached to their songs, you know something about that? xo**_

_**You found me out. The mystery's gone. There's nothing left to keep your interest now.**_

_**On the contrary, there's plenty to still keep me interested about you baby. ;) But I don't get the name.**_

_**Think first and last letters of mine and I think you'll figure it out… Talk to you soon, love. X**_

_**You know where to find me—somewhere buried in this mess of boxes. Love you baby. xo**_

First and last letters of his name?

It took me awhile because they weren't in order, it was like a word scramble; Ed, Ay & Cn scrambled together make C. Ayden.

Clever.

A loud knock on my door gave me a start.

It couldn't have been Rose with it being her night with Henry.

Jake? Maybe, though I couldn't think of any reason he'd be back when we'd just talked hours before.

Jess? Hmm. Possibly. She would have kept asking me questions all night if I would have let her, my excuse to pack not really qualifying as a reason to stop talking to her, as far as she was concerned. But even that seemed unlikely at this time.

Out of habit, I checked the street but was too dark to see if I recognized any of the few cars that still lingered, parked along the sides when I peered out the window on my way to the door. Most businesses on the street closed for the night so there wasn't much for traffic now.

Who was I kidding? I knew it was Jessica. It had to have been.

Certain in my prediction, I opened the door without checking. To my surprise it wasn't Jess but another all too familiar face. My stomach crumpled uneasily into a heavy ball that dropped and rolled nauseously and my heart began to race making my chest burn and fingers tingle.

"Hello Bella," James greeted with a sneering smile.

* * *

**Sorry for the cliffe. It wasn't intended, but just the way it worked out. :/ I'll do what I can to get the next update to you as quick as possible!**

**As always, love to know what you think. Press [Review] and let me know. **


	28. Chapter 28 Old Ghosts

**Chapter 28: Old Ghosts**

The air left my lungs in one fell swoop, like I'd been punched in the gut and the air had been knocked out of me from blindsided shock.

I'd thought—or rather hoped—I'd never see James again.

James stepped forward, sliding past me into my apartment, acting like he belonged there, like he was coming home and had simply forgotten his key, locking himself out of his own place.

I wanted to stop him, but I was too stunned to act in time, shock of his appearance superseding my ability to think on my feet. It was like I'd stepped back in time. He was exactly the same as I remembered him; shaggy dishwater blonde hair, grey eyes, confident smirk, swagger of a walk, and a commanding presence.

"Going somewhere?" he asked haughtily, pointing with a rolled up piece of paper in his hand as he walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer, like it was his own.

"What are you doing here James?" I managed to ask in a strained voice, unable to apply the seething tone I wanted because it came out in an almost choked whisper. I still hadn't fully caught my breath.

I hadn't seen him since the day I moved out of the apartment we had together and into this one. He hadn't stayed there much longer than I had; waiting only until the lease was up, then following the whorish redhead he had been screwing on the side to Seattle.

_Why Jessica is so bent up about favors was beyond me. What the hell favors were, I hadn't the slightest clue, but Jess insisted they were a necessity and we _had_ to do them._

_Whatever they were. _

_I laughed in impressed annoyance at my sister. She was one who knew how to get what she wanted; I had to give her that. _

_Poor Mike looked so uncomfortable telling me to finish up or hand off what I was working on and get out of the office. That boy was whipped._

_Whatever _thing_ Jessica insisted he'd had for me in high school, causing their first break-up—if it even was true—wasn't there any longer. He did anything Jessica wanted. It was all for her._

_The bonus two-and-a-half days of vacation he had gifted me would have been a great surprise had it not come with the contingency of spending time with my sister—and mother—doing wedding things I didn't think mattered. I was supposed to walk down an aisle in a dress, James and I both would say "I do", and then have a party in my parents' back yard; it should have been as simple as that. But no. _

_Wasn't a wedding supposed to be about what the _bride_ wanted? _

_Not in my family apparently. In my family it was all about the mother and sister of the bride._

_Sigh._

_I turned off the road and pulled into the small parking lot of James__'__ and my apartment complex—something my father and brother weren't pleased about. They didn't like that we had moved in together. It didn't matter to them that we had waited until after we were engaged. They were being stubborn and pigheaded. Besides, it wasn't like they had any ground to piffle about James and I living together before we were married; my parents got married only six months before Jacob arrived at a healthy eight-and-a-half pounds, and Jake just moved in with that Leah chick he had only just met about two seconds beforehand._

_Double standards. Men._

_I opened the door and the thick, sticky heat of the late July sun nearly suffocated me as I stepped out of the car. Sweat began to bead on my skin by the time I closed the door behind me. I pressed the button on my keychain and heard the locks on my little white Honda click in place._

_I missed my truck._

_Sure I had to hit the dashboard to get the fan running and had to roll the windows down to cool the cab more often than I was able to get the fan to work—not that it helped much when it did—but I loved my truck. I loved the faded red color, the big, round fenders full of rust, the cracked leather seats. It had personality. Something the Honda would never have; all that would happen when it got old and began to rust, was that it would look and feel like a piece of junk._

_But James had insisted on giving up the "unreliable" truck—that actually ran great thanks to Jake—for the new-to-me Honda, I had lukewarm feelings for. The truck was one of the few things I had ever felt strongly about and it was gone._

_Sigh._

_I guess it made sense to get rid of it. Something I felt that strongly about just didn't belong in my lackluster life. The okay feelings I had toward the Honda were more appropriate._

_I walked quickly to the apartment entry door, eager for the small relief the un-air-conditioned room would provide. And then I unlocked the main door, disappointed in the facility's general temperature control, the hallways were only __marginally __better than the entry had been and hurried to the cool apartment, unlocking its door quickly. _

_The dark coolness of the space greeted me like I stepped into an alternate world._

_Ah. This was great._

_I left the lights off as I walked into the apartment, shutting the door behind me, not wanting to disrupt the serenity of the cool, quiet apartment. It felt as though flipping a light on would somehow cause the temperature in the place to instantly swell by ten degrees. My eyes quickly adjusted to the dark space, the persistent rays of light pushing through and around the heavy curtains of the living room, giving just enough light to navigate through. I set my keys on the table and found the counter and sink full of trash left there by James._

_I rolled my eyes and groaned but cleaned up all the garbage, throwing it into the trash that was within arm's reach._

_Why he couldn't just throw things away was beyond me. It drove me nuts. But after the first couple months, I gave up on reminders and complaints. They didn't help and I ended up throwing it away myself anyway, so I stopped trying to get him to do it and just did it myself._

"I was in the neighborhood," he said pulling the corners of his lips down, raising his eyebrows and giving a shrug, like it was as simply as that, like it wasn't an odd thing for him to just drop by, even though I hadn't seen or heard from him in two years. "And I thought I'd stop by to see my famous ex-fiancé. You're all over the internet, you know; a celebrity by association."

The refrigerator door closed as James twisted off the cap. Then he reached over and threw the beer cap in the sink, even though the trashcan was visible and within as easy a reach as the sink. He'd always done things like that. It had always bothered me, but today I could feel my blood pressure rise to dangerous levels in response to the action, anger replacing my surprise of his appearance. I knew now that it was one of his many ways he degraded me, how he had made sure to make it clear to me in every action, every word, every everything, that he was above me. Before I would have said nothing and later thrown the beer cap in the trash myself.

Not now. Not anymore. Not in _my _home.

"The sink is _not_ the trash container," I seethed. I could feel my face burn red hot with anger.

James scoffed, crumpling his face that said, "yeah whatever," and took a long drink of his beer. Then he took a step to leave the kitchen. I moved, blocking him.

"Put the cap in the trash," I said, the level of my voice controlled, but my tone was serious, concrete. "This is my house, not yours to disrespect." I wasn't budging on this. He needed to know I wasn't putting up with his bullshit. Not anymore.

He laughed and lifted his beer to take another drink.

I yanked it out of his hand, spilling beer all over my hand, on his shirt and the floor.

"Put the fucking beer cap in the _goddamn_ trash, James."

He glared down at me in defiance, his eyes asking how dare I talk to him like that. Because I had _never_ talked to him like that before and I never would have in the past. Not the Bella he knew.

But this wasn't the me I was from a couple years ago. I didn't waver; I kept my eyes locked in his flat, shallow, grey ones as I held the beer away from him.

"When I told you that I wanted you to be more like Rosalie," James said reaching into the sink, grabbing the bottle cap, showing it to me, and then leaning back and tossing it into the trashcan with far more force than necessary, "I didn't mean you should turn into a raging bitch," he spat. Then he snatched his beer back, splashing his shirt in the process and walked around me, plopping himself onto the open space of my couch where Jacob had sat earlier. "You're pretty Bella, but not _that _pretty where you can get away with that kind of shit, the way Rose can. It's amazing that famous guy puts up with you pulling shit like that. Or has he not yet seen this new super bitchy side of you?"

_I rifled through the fridge for a quick bite to eat before I succumbed to Jessica's version of torture; wedding stuff._

_At this rate, I was going to melt as I walked down the aisle and there'd be no wedding with the bride lying in a puddle. You couldn't marry a puddle. So why fuss with details, like favors—whatever they were—when they weren't going to matter? This thick, sticky heat wave was apparently sticking around._

_Miserable late July weather._

_I found a container of leftovers. After a small debate I decided the cool, cave-like sanctuary my apartment was, made heated food still palatable even with the suffocating temperature outside and popped it into the microwave to heat up. I walked to the bedroom to pull out my wedding dress from the closet and laid it on the bed, deciding I'd stop by the seamstress shop on my way to Jessica's house. I needed to drop it off to get pressed and had planned on dropping it off tomorrow but since it was on my way to Jess' house, I might as well do it today._

_Then I headed to the bathroom __for a quick visit, __while I waited for my lunch. _

_As I washed up, I scrutinized myself in the mirror wishing to see someone else as a reflection. I was disappointed that all the drastic lightening I'd done to my hair had still left me not quite past the mark of being blonde. _

_I watched the corners of my mouth turndown with that realization. I could hear James' voice in my head with his constant remarks about blondes—Rosalie mostly—but blondes in general. He had been asking me to go blonde since we first started dating, telling me how sexy it would be if I did. I liked my brown hair though. It might have been plain, boring brown, but I was comfortable in it. It was mine. It was me. Blonde—or rather blond_ish_—just felt like I was wearing someone else's hair and left an uncomfortable feeling behind upon seeing my reflection. But James approved of it, encouraging me to keep going lighter._

_When my eyes moved from my not quite blonde enough hair to my eyebrows, I gritted my teeth in frustration; they gave me away anyway. They were dark brown. I didn't particularly like the blonde on me, but the brown eyebrows made me feel like I looked ridiculous. Like they were telling me I shouldn't try to pretend to be something I wasn't._

_Turning to the side, away from my mocking eyebrows, I pressed my hand, flat against the front of my ribcage, under my chest. My thoughts turning sullen as I did; wishing my boobs were as large as Rose's who apparently had the "perfect size". I had never minded my smaller breasts before. They weren't really something I'd given much thought to, they seemed to fit my body—they didn't look too large or small for it—and that was pretty much as much attention as I'd ever given them. James liked them too, well enough, so he said—and he played with them any chance he could—he just said he'd like them better if they were bigger._

_I guess he had a point. Rose did have pretty much the perfect body; the perfect _everything_. Still, I really didn't _want_ to have the surgery that was James' "wedding gift" to me—we weren't going to go anywhere for a honeymoon, instead I was going to Seattle get a boob job._

_Sigh._

_I looked petulantly at my reflection wishing my breasts were already bigger on their own so I didn't have to go through surgery in order for them to gain "perfect" status._

_I supposed he had a point though. I _guessed_ they would look better if they were bigger…_

"Oh no James, you're special. Bitch Bella is reserved _just_ for you," I said in a sweetly venom-filled voice.

Bitch Bella nodded firmly in agreement, smiled slyly and flipped him the bird in my head.

"You've earned it."

"You've sure changed," he scoffed with a humorless laugh as he tipped back his beer. It wasn't a compliment, but it wasn't an insult either, more like a comment of observation. "I liked you better before; light hair, didn't act like a bitch, fifteen pounds lighter—though it looks like the weight gain has made your boobs bigger, so that kind of makes up for the little extra flab."

"Screw you!" I snapped. "I won't stand here and let you belittle me like you used to. I know I don't have to put up with it, so if that's all you're here for, you can get the hell out of my house."

I'd gotten really thin before the almost wedding, trying to be thin enough for James. I was so thin, in fact, that I'd stopped getting my period when I was on the placebo week of birth control pills. A good scare slash chastising by my doctor, when I went in shortly after James and I had broken up, had me get back to a healthy level. That, and the fact Rose and Jake practically force fed me, whenever I was in the same room as either one of them, for a while**.**

"Oh, don't be like that, Bella. Take a compliment, I'm saying they look good," he nodded in approval, staring at my chest, "even hidden under that baggy t-shirt I can tell that. Of course they'd look better if you'd used that money I'd saved up for the boob job, but better than when I last saw them."

_Ugh I hate you! Jack hole fucking ass crack._ I thought as I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling violated knowing James' eyes were on them.

My blood pressure had my entire body in flames, I was sure my skin was beet red. I'd forgotten how horrid he had been to me, or maybe just never fully realized it before how his "compliments" were always underhanded; containing some insult or example on how I wasn't quite good enough, to make sure he kept me in my place. Then experiencing what it was like being with Edward—what it was like being with someone who treated me really _well_—made it crystal clear how abhorred James acted towards me. And it glared like a bright spotlight now that I was in his presence again, finally used to what it was like being treated well.

No wonder I'd had major self-esteem issues. The only real relationship I'd had was with a guy who, on a daily basis, basically told me that the reason I hadn't had any guy ask me out before him wasn't because I had been shy and introverted, but because I just wasn't good enough. I was pretty, but not pretty enough. My hair color was okay, but it would be better if it was different. I was thin but not thin enough. I had nice boobs, but they weren't big enough. The degree I was going for was wrong. Where I wanted to live was wrong. What I wanted to do was wrong.

Never good enough. Never right.

Never.

I wanted to smack him. Hard. Not Bitch Bella—though she was in agreement, egging me on—but me. _I_ wanted to hit him—badly. Actually, I wanted to beat the living shit out of him. I didn't consider myself as a normally violent person—throwing markers at Jacob when he made jokingly jerky comments aside—but finally realizing, when I had Edward, just how horrible of a person James was, made me want to inflict pain on him for what he had done to my psyche.

"What the hell do you want James? You're wasting my time and I have things to do," I said giving an impatient sigh.

_Things that left you far, far in my distant past._

I clenched my fists at my sides, trying to overrule my desire to hit him. I knew violence wouldn't be a good idea no matter how much I wanted to do it.

"Yeah I see that. Looks like you're moving," he said looking around the apartment, taking a drink of his beer.

I rolled my eyes, impatient for him to get to whatever it was that brought him there tonight, and leave.

He got up, but didn't head towards the door. Something seemed to have caught his eye and he headed over to my computer.

"Does this move have anything to do with the new actor boyfriend I've been reading all about you having? You sure are dating up, you know," he quickly added shooting me a pointed glance. "Bit of a reach don't you think, Bella?" he scoffed condescendingly picking up the framed picture of Edward and me. "He's _way_ out of your league. Hell, he's out of _Rosalie's_ league. Same as that brother of his she's supposedly fucking," he added, trading the picture of Edward and me for the group picture from Edward's birthday dinner.

I could feel tears threaten. Tears from frustration and self-doubt that seemed to go hand-in-hand with James' presence, mixed with fresh tears of hate. I gritted my teeth. I didn't want to cry in front of James. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction that he'd gotten to me that way.

"Whaddya do? Sell your soul to the sex Gods to get a guy like that in the sack?" he asked waving the picture. "Or is it some sort of publicity stunt staged by his handlers to make all the _average_ girls like you think they too could have a shot with him, or is he gay and poorly trying to cover it up?"

_The microwave sounded, pulling me out of my displeased contemplations of all the things I needed to change about myself. My lunch was ready._

_Who was I kidding? I should skip lunch. I needed to fit into my dress._

_Sigh._

_I leaned forward, examining my eyebrows quickly one more time before I gave up my scrutinizing. I wondered if I thinned them even more, maybe they would seem like they were lighter. Hopefully even light enough to pass as belonging to this light brown, semi-blonde hair._

_Sigh. Maybe. I'd ask Jess to pluck them for me._

_The sound of the apartment door opening made me start. I had thought James was at a job interview in Seattle this afternoon._

_I groaned internally. If he was home __then __it had gotten cancelled and he'd be in a __shitty __mood._

_At least it made the prospect of spending the afternoon with my sister and mother doing wedding stuff sound infinitely better by comparison of an afternoon of James in a foul mood._

_I reached out to grab the bathroom's door handle with one hand and flip the switch with the other, hoping that maybe I had it wrong and the interview had been this morning. I just turned the bathroom light off with my right hand as my left closed around the door handle to suck it up and go talk to him, when I stopped short in the pitch blackness._

_I heard a woman's voice. No, a woman's light, sigh of a moan._

_My chest tightened with a warm uneasiness as I held my breath, debating on opening the door or not._

"_Fuck it feels so good in here," she crooned._

_My heart raced._

"_Oh I bet it does feel good in there," James__'__ voice said seductively._

_The woman giggled__,__ followed by the sound of the apartment door slamming shut. A moment later, the woman's laughter faded, dipping into a deep, throaty moan._

_What…! _

_My heart raced. No. _

_No, no, no, no, no. This wasn't happening. No. I couldn't be…_

_I couldn't pull in a breath. I felt dizzy and my chest felt tight as I tried to convince myself it couldn't __be __what it sounded like. My hand clung to the doorknob it still gripped for support and the other clutched to the counter, unsuccessful in my attempt to assure myself._

The anger that was rocking through me from his snide comments had an oddly calming effect, one that felt dangerous.

I liked it. It made me feel brave and strong.

"Nope," I smiled coolly and a bit smugly too because I knew just how much Edward appreciated me in the bedroom, but I wasn't going to give James the satisfaction of a rebuttal to his crass remark. "Sorry to disappoint you James," I said in a way that said I wasn't sorry at all, "but there's no stunt involved and E—Anthony is _definitely not _gay." I couldn't help but smirk with just how _well_ I knew it. "We're actually very much together," I continued, feeling relieved that James didn't catch my near-slip, "not that it's _any _of _your_ business."

"Well," he scoffed, "you must have vastly improved in the sack if you got him to fuck ya," he laughed.

_You have no idea._ I thought triumphantly with a fresh roll of anger from yet another insult. _It's amazing the difference it makes being actually attracted to your partner._

"Oh and for the record, Anthony and I are in _exactly _the same league," I informed him, my voice superior and snippy with his patronizing remarks, belittling me. "I finally realized that the slime-filled cesspool of jackholes like yourself rot in, is _way_ below mine and found an equal, for once," I retorted.

Bitch Bella gave me a pat on the back as she smirked and nodded her head sharply once at James in agreement with my words.

James laughed cockily.

_Ooo! Fucking smack him!_ Bitch Bella shouted to me.

"Right," he scoffed looking over at me, his eyes traveling up and down contemptuously like I was nothing. "Look at you. You're just quite the catch, aren't you?" he sneered sarcastically. "Sweatpants, baggy t-shirt, hair up, no make-up on. You're dreaming, if you think you are _anywhere _close to being in the same league as an A-list celebrity like Anthony Cullen. Take a look in the mirror, Bella. You need a reality check. You're as plain and ordinary as the day I met you. You're just _not_ _that_ _pretty_."

"Screw you James," I retorted, my words sounding like steel, unable to hold in my anger any longer from the barrage of insults he kept flying at me. "You can't pull that shit over on me like you used to. I know better now."

"Really?" he asked skeptically, grinning like he had an ace up his sleeve. "Seems to me, you shouldn't have gotten on that high horse you're riding, and should have kept a closer ear to the truth of what I've told you instead."

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth angrily, tired of his games.

"Tell me what the hell you want and get out," I challenged.

Out of my sight. Out of my head. Out of my apartment. Out of my life. Out.

"Alright," he nodded, and took a languid drink of his beer, letting out a satisfied "ah" when he pulled it from his lips and set it down on my desk. "Let's just say," he said slowly, and made a clicking sound with his tongue when he paused, "that I'm guessing that you're not going anywhere." He gestured around with that rolled piece of paper he held between his fingers to my half-packed apartment. As he did, the voice of Edward's character, Ian, came from the television speakers, filling the small silence.

"No, I think I am," I argued concretely.

James raised his eyebrows in challenge to my retort and leaned back against my desk. He picked up his beer again, took a swallow, set it back down and smiled smarmily at me.

"I was right. You haven't seen it, then," he ascertained, smiling wider, cocky now as he waved the rolled-up piece of paper in his hand back and forth in front of me. His tone seemed like it was supposed to sound surprised, but didn't succeed in that effort. "I suppose, you've been too wrapped up to see the obvious. Hmm… Sounds familiar."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, angry and impatient.

"See for yourself, Bella," he said, his grey eyes lit up with excitement as he handed me the rolled up piece of paper. "I brought you a little present—since you're so certain you're moving, you can think of it as a going away present."

_A cold sweat flashed across my skin. I turned my body towards the counter, hoping I was imagining things as I leaned over the sink. My breathing was heavy and it rang back to me loudly bouncing off the bowl of the sink._

_I listened to them. James and the woman. I could hear the sound of them kissing. Her moaning. His unmistakable heavy panting. I heard them make their way through the apartment and to our bedroom as she asked him flat out if he was going to fuck her already, and his affirmative reply, leaving no question as to what was going on._

_I swayed, nearly getting sick hearing the unmistakable sound of clothes falling to the floor._

_I didn't know what possessed me to leave the bathroom, maybe I just couldn't handle listening to them any longer, maybe I'd meant to confront him, maybe I was going to run from there. I hadn't a clue._

_With a shaky hand, I wrapped my fingers around the doorknob and turned it quietly. I opened the door silently and stepped out of the bathroom. The sound of them louder with no door between us to muffle it; her mewing moans and his heavy pants mixed in with the sound of their mouths moving against one another and rustling of their remaining clothing being discarded. _

_For a moment I stared down the hall to the open bedroom door. It felt like I was frozen there; I knew I did not want to see this. But then I felt my feet shuffling noiselessly forward __on their own volition, driven __by the morbid need to see it. __Subconsciously I believe __I knew that if I didn't __see it with my own eyes, __I __wouldn't __believe it was true._

_As I slowly drew closer the first thing I saw was her bare leg; bent, up in the air. Then his bare arm holding himself up by his forearms. Then his bare side laying over hers, pressing her to our bed. Her arm as she ran her hands down his bare back. Then, when I came into full view, standing in the doorway, I saw her head thrown back. Her eyes closed, mouth hanging open and her curly, bright red hair was splayed out on top of my wedding dress._

_On top of my _wedding_ dress; the dress I was supposed to wear in two days for my wedding to… _

_James. __I watched as __he __kissed her neck, and then down to her flat chest sucking on them fervently like they were the greatest things ever as he reached down, tugged off his briefs before he worked his way back up and shoved roughly against her without warning. Entering her. Screwing her._

_She screamed out. It was a sound that was meant to be one of pleasure, but her face pinched together like it hadn't been pleasurable at all._

_Or maybe that was just the way I wanted to see it. I didn't want to think that sex with him was any more enjoyable for her as it was for me__,__ because the alternative fed my insecurities that something was wrong with me._

_There were no words to describe what I felt as I watched him pump himself into her, so caught up in what they were doing they didn't realize they had an audience. It didn't feel like it could be real. It felt like I had to have been watching a bad movie, because it couldn't possibly be happening. It couldn't have been real; James wanted _me. _James had told _me_ that he loved me. James told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with_ me_. It couldn't be that he wanted someone else. _

_Could it?_

_I was in shock. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't… breathe… _

_Because as much as it _couldn't _be; it was. And it was happening _right _in front of my eyes. James was thrusting himself into some redhead in non-rhythmic jerks on top of my wedding dress; the dress I was supposed to get married to him in within a couple days._

_My struggles to pull in a breath finally paid off but my breath caught, making a small, hiccupping sound in my throat._

_James didn't notice but her eyes flew open and her pale green eyes flashed to me, meeting mine. Instead of stopping him, calling his attention to my presence, she smiled at me like an alley cat; satisfied. Then she turned her face back to him and moaned louder, arched her back and egged him on until seconds later, he came inside her grunting loudly as he jerked chaotically._

_I felt the room spin and I nearly fell, catching myself on the doorframe, making a loud noise as I stumbled._

_James looked up at me then. His face wasn't mortified, or remorseful, it was _angry. _And when he opened his mouth, it wasn't an apology that was spoken; instead he began to yell at me like it was my fault, demanding to know what the hell I was doing home. He yelled at me like it had been me who'd done something wrong as he hurriedly pulled his clothes back on and the redhead just smirked at me in silence, satisfied. _

_He was angry _at me_._

_Everything had been for him. I had done _everything_ for him since the day he approached me; the day he chose me over everyone else. I'd done everything to be what he wanted, to be who he wanted._

_I had thought I was what he wanted. He'd told me I was, but that obviously wasn't the case. He was screwing someone else, and not just someone else, but someone who was _nothing_ like he'd told me he wanted me to be. _

_He'd lied and I'd bought it. I'd bought each and every lie out of his vile mouth. I wasn't someone James wanted. It was a lie. It had always been a lie._

I unrolled the smashed piece of paper with difficulty; it slipped from my fingers twice, quickly spinning itself back up before I could see what the hell it was. The third time, I bent the paper widthwise slightly to keep it from rolling up again and read the large title at the top, "New Romance Quickly Fizzled Out – Old Flame Rekindled." It was dated today, but I barely registered the words because under it was a photo that demanded my attention. It was a picture of Edward and Tanya in Atlanta, I recognized the place; they were on set, near the entry. Tanya's strawberry blonde hair was flying back away from her in the wind, her hands were on the back of Edward's neck, pulling him to her and Edward's hands cupping her face… kissing her.

No.

My breathing turned shallow and I felt dizzy.

No, it couldn't—. But yet it was.

My chest burned hotly.

No. Please God, no.

I didn't realize my legs had gone out from under me until I felt James' hands, holding me upright.

I jerked back away from his touch like it was painful, which wasn't far from the truth; it made my skin crawl. I didn't want to be touched by him. I felt dirty just having been. It was something I'd made sure he never did again after I'd caught him with that redhead.

I made my way to the coffee table with some difficulty and sank down on it, not thinking I'd be able to make it two more steps to the open spot on the couch. As soon as I sat, my attention was caught by the television directly in front of me. Edward's character and the female lead in _Undone_ kissing passionately, and I knew the scene that would follow.

My stomach turned uneasily, the sight was more than I could take right now.

Some deity out there had one sick sense of humor or really hated me.

"Seriously, Bella?" James' self-righteous voice interrupted my journey down the twisting black hole I was rapidly sinking in to. "Did you really think in a million fucking years that you could keep a guy like _that _satisfied when you couldn't do that for a normal guy like me?" James asked me condescendingly. "Christ, Bella, with all those books you always have your nose in, I thought you were at least a _bit_ smarter than that."

As if in agreement, Edward's character was leading the woman in the movie to the bed.

I choked back a heave and desperately searched for the remote beside me on the table. I fumbled with the buttons, wondering what the hell made me think watching that movie would be a good idea, as I seemed to be unable to remember how to work the damn thing. Finally, I managed.

James snorted a laugh when I closed my eyes and took a relieved breath when the television was black and silent, visibly shaking.

My eyes flew open to glare at him, but were quickly drawn back down to the paper in my hand. I stared at it, unable to piece it together.

It didn't make sense.

Edward wouldn't do that. He swore to me I could always trust him. I _knew_ he wouldn't; I could feel the truth of it that he wouldn't.

But the picture said otherwise.

I could feel him watching me as I clutched the paper shakily in my hands and studied it, willing for something to indicate to me that it wasn't exactly what it looked like. I tried several times to read the words of the article beneath it, but was unsuccessful. I couldn't register the words to any meaning, so my eyes went back to the picture. My body filled with uneasy warmth and swayed when I realized… I couldn't find anything.

But it couldn't be. No. It just _couldn't_ be.

I fought the tears that wanted to rip through me, determined to not cry in front of James, determined to not give him any more satisfaction than he already had gotten with the simple fact of delivering this to me. I folded my arms around my chest to keep myself together, the action pulling the picture of Edward and Tanya kissing out of my view. I fought against the crushing heartbreak that burned painfully in a way that I never felt from what I'd seen James do, which was so much worse of a thing than this.

No. I wouldn't' give him that. I wouldn't let him see me cry.

James laughed with smug pity.

I glared at him belligerently, focusing on my anger towards him to distract myself from the ripping, all-consuming pain.

"I mean, sure," James continued, ignoring my glare, "you were always a nice, tight piece of ass I looked forward to, but a man needs more than that. He needs variety. And let's face it, Bells, you may have been an alright little lay, but variety wasn't your thing. And the pool of variety he can tap is virtually endless.

"I think you need to revisit your newly found idea about leagues because there's no universe out there where _you_ would be in the same league as Tanya Denali. _That_ is the type of woman that's in Anthony Cullen's league. Not you. Not even fucking close. You just can't compete with that."

"Get the hell out of my goddamned house," I demanded, feeling my control faltering at the stabs he'd made into my recently found self-assurance.

James continued to stand where he was, not moving.

"You've had your fun, knocking me down just like you always did," I seethed, glaring up at him, my body shaking heavily, about to fall apart under my feeble control. "So, if you're done, get out. Get the hell out!"

"I was trying to do something nice for you, babe," he grumbled; almost as if he was pouting.

"Yeah, I'm sure you were," I said sarcastically, the shaking getting worse and I felt nauseous.

_Please leave James. Just leave._

"Fine, be an ungrateful bitch about it," he spat. "I thought you'd rather hear it from me now than find out later after you'd made the mistake of committing to another guy whose life you couldn't fulfill."

He chugged his beer.

"Whatever," he said glaring at me as he set the empty beer bottle on my bookshelf. "Last time I do something for you."

_Yeah, I'm sure this was all for my benefit._ I sneered sarcastically as I watched him walk to the door. _When have you _ever_ done anything for me?_

"Don't say I didn't warn you," James said opening the door and looked back at me. "But it's your own fault thinking _you_ could be with a guy like _him_."

I didn't reply. I didn't move. I just stared hatefully at him and waited for him to leave, clenching my teeth together so tightly I wondered how they could handle the pressure without breaking.

James made a contemptible scoff, "You are such a fool, Bella, always were so gullible," he laughed and left, slamming the door behind him.

My body tensed in the stillness, unsure of what to do, unsure if it could let go or not, unsure if everything was actually okay now that James was gone.

I didn't know.

I closed my eyes, trying to reason with myself that Edward wouldn't do something like that. There _had_ to be an explanation. A logical explanation.

I pulled the piece of paper into view, searching again for something, anything to tell me I was right.

_You didn't think James would do that either._ A small voice reminded me, when once again, I found nothing. The reminder was accompanied by the feeling of the sharp pain in my chest searing and twisting, causing tears to begin cascading down my face, falling with audible drops as they hit the piece of paper I held in my hand.

No. I wouldn't believe it. Edward was _nothing_ like James.

My phone sang out in song. I looked at it next to me on the coffee table; it was Edward.

I picked it up to answer it, a mixture of relief and terror rocking through me.

_What would he say? What if he told me it _was_ exactly what it looked like?_

Panic hit me with my questions of doubt and just as I was about to hit the button to answer the call a loud, ugly sob tore through me; the picture of Edward kissing Tanya at the set in Atlanta in one hand, staring balefully back at me, my phone ringing with a call from Edward in the other. I pulled in a loud, painful breath, trying to get myself under control but another sob hit me harder than the first.

It hurt. Just the simple idea that it could be true was literally _painful_.

It was overwhelming just how much the idea of the simple possibility of Edward cheating on me hurt, when witnessing actual betrayal with James had never felt like this.

Not even close. James' betrayal had been painful, yes, but this was excruciating.

My hands sunk limply into my lap, defeated. I was so emotionally exhausted.

I couldn't answer the phone, not with hysterical sobs rolling through me, making me sound like I was literally ripping in two. I was unable to control them as they rocked through me.

In submission to my sobs, I clutched the phone to my chest, wishing I could answer the phone, wanting to hear Edward's voice to bring me back to reality; needing to hear him tell me everything was alright and completely terrified that if I answered it he wouldn't.

The action stirred up Edward's scent that clung to his t-shirt I was wearing. I took in a deep breath of it, the smell, calming me down, backing me away from the edge of insanity I was teetering on.

The song stopped. I pulled the fabric to my nose and took another breath, feeling the smell reassure me, slowing the sobs, clearing my head.

And then I remembered Edward telling me that everything with us was fine and my breathing began to calm, stuttering as it slowed.

As my phone sang out again, I crumpled more of the fabric against my face, taking another breath and I remember Edward's upset message from earlier, needing to talk to me.

He was upset.

I took another deep, calming breath, Edward's scent talking me down from hysteria.

He was _upset_ when he'd called me earlier. I clung to that realization like I needed it to live; the picture didn't tell me anything to contradict what it appeared to be, but _Edward did._ He had called me, upset about something. He'd told me that everything _with us_ was fine.

I could feel everything within me slow, calm and relax by infinitesimal amounts as this sunk in that my world might not be crashing in. Everything might just be alright.

Tears still streamed down my face, but I was no longer in hysterical, gasping sobs. I needed to talk to him; I promised him I would trust him and that I would communicate with him and I needed to keep that promise.

I hit the talk button, but I was too late, the call went to my voicemail.

I pulled up Edward's number suddenly needing to call him back and talk to him, but before I could, my phone broke into song once more.

Edward. Again.

My heart picked up speed and this time, I answered it.

"Edward," I breathed.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So I think a lot of questions surrounding why Bella's self-esteem is so messed up have now been answered; James is a complete asshole who's verbally and emotionally abusive to her.**

**I hope that you're proud of Bella in this chapter, I know I am.**

**As always, I love to know what you think. Click the [**Review**] button and let me know if you want to join the mob that would like to kick the crap out of James for Bella.**

**Thanks for reading & reviewing,**

**TJE –aka "The Cliffe Bitch"- (sorry, I realize this is kind of another…)**

**(PS: Thanks MC.) :)**


	29. Chapter 29 Sorting Fact from Fiction

**Thank you all for your reviews! I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. Thanks for taking the time to submit them.**

**Sorry for another delay; same reason as the others. Thank you for understanding. xo**

**As always, thank you MC for betaing. xo**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 29: Sorting Fact from Fiction**

My voice, hoarse from the sobs that I had just mostly settled, sounded desperate and pained.

"Bella?" Edward breathed, alarmed.

"Edward," my voice cracked painfully; turning his name into a desperate plea this time. "Tell me what's going on; tell me James was playing a really bad joke," I begged, my voice thick from crying and quivered with the tremor rolling through me that I couldn't calm. I ran my fingers nervously through my hair, the paper I held in it, crumpling with the action, the noise drawing my attention back to it.

My eyes locked on the picture as I limply dropped my hand to my lap wondering why I still held it, but unable to command my fingers to release it.

A roll of nausea caused me to sway and I looked away and closed my eyes fighting the tears that rolled hotly down my face.

"James?" Edward asked affronted, his voice hard, distracted by the mention of my ex. "What the hell, Bella?"

"Yeah, James," I breathed bitterly and sniffled. I opened my eyes looking around wildly, feeling weaker and less of a person just having his name in the air, like he wasn't really gone after all. "He so kindly graced me with his presence tonight for the first time in two years. He degraded and insulted me for old time's sake, and then gleefully handed me a photograph of you outside the set in Atlanta…" I cleared my throat, "kissing Tanya." My voice twisted painfully by the end of the sentence.

Instead of the instant rebuff I'd hoped for, I was met with silence.

My stomach knotted uncomfortably, wringing tighter and tighter as the seconds ticked by.

"Edward," I pleaded again, unable to bear his silence. "Just..." I paused closing my eyes, bracing myself for the blow, "tell me… the truth, please."

"Bella," Edward began and cut off. Silence filled the space again, thick and painful.

_Oh God. No. Please. No._ I thought feeling the confirmation in his reply. _Not any more. Please. _I begged silently. _I can't take any more tonight. I just… can't. Especially not this. No. No, not this. No. Not Edward._

"I'm sorry," Edward pleaded. "I am so sorry, love. I tried to call you— If I would have known about the picture I would have made sure I spoke to you immediately— I tried to call you," Edward spoke in desperate, stilted sentences.

The windows framing my world violently imploded and I began choking on my sobs as they barreled into me with unprecedented force, taking Edward's choppy apology as affirmation.

No. It couldn't be true. No. I didn't want to believe it. It hurt to even consider…

I saw the picture in my hand began to turn. Move. Reel; like I'd watched first-hand, Edward and Tanya in the throes of passionate kisses. Twisting; as their clothes melted away. Morphing; turning into something far too close to the movie scene of the two of them. Watching; as they took it further.

Oh God, no.

My stomach heaved.

"Fuck me!" Edward cursed in an angry growl of a yell and the sound of a loud smack of something getting hit hard.

The outburst startled me and, in turn, my stomach, causing it to halt its violent protest to the images my brain produced.

I swallowed forcefully, fighting against my stomach's protest, knowing I had to calm myself; I had to keep myself together.

"Love, I know what the picture looks like, I saw it. I know why you're upset and what you must be thinking," he pleaded desperately, "but I did _not_ kiss her," he finished, his voice turning angry, almost a growl.

I waited for him to continue, holding my breath with fresh hope that it was yet another thing rooting through the media that wasn't true; needing to hear him say just that.

"Bella?" Edward asked, his voice softer now. "Are you still there?" His question pained and vulnerable, like he wasn't sure I'd listen to him, unsure whether I'd even let him explain.

My name on his lips seemed to be my body's cue to let out the breath I was holding and dragged in a ragged breath.

"I'm here, Edward," I whispered in a raspy voice.

"I'm so sorry, Bella, I should have tried harder to speak with you before this to explain. I should have made sure I did."

"Tell me Edward. What _did_ happen?" I asked cautiously, my voice sounding small and frightened, betraying my emotions. It was the question I desperately desired to be answered but was yet afraid of at the same time; stemming from a lifetime of insecurities weakened further with the countless hits to it I'd just endured at the hand of James.

I reminded myself that most of what was out there on him was either partially or completely false for reassurance, trying to hold myself together until I heard Edward explain. I myself had witnessed first-hand that most of what had surfaced about me, since I had been spotted with Edward, was inaccurate to some degree or another, so I told myself the chance that this too was not what it seemed was highly likely. Besides, I knew down to the core of my being that Edward wasn't anything like James; whose showing up tonight proved that with blinding confirmation. Edward had given me every understanding, took on every bit of baggage I had, given me every bit of truth I'd asked for up until this point and given me no reason to doubt him; I had to listen to what he said now and believe him.

"Anthony!" a female voice called sharply in the background accompanying the sound of a door opening sharply. "What the hell are you doing? You can't just walk off in the middle of a scene! You need to get back on set," she said in a firm, exasperated voice.

"Give me a few minutes," he snapped back.

"Peter said they need you _now_," she lashed back at him, her voice full of steel. "We need these shots and we only have so much time—"

"Give me ten goddamn minutes!" Edward barked more sharply than I ever remember him speaking to anyone. "Trust me, it'll still be dark enough for the shots. This call is more important than that scene and I need to finish it."

"Anthony," she protested angrily. "Please, now."

"I said, I need to finish my call. I'll be there when I'm done," he said angrily through clenched teeth.

I heard the woman let out an agitated sigh followed a second later by the door slamming shut.

He'd walked off set to call me?

I could feel that knowledge settle me, setting me at ease about whatever he had to say about the photograph. Edward wasn't someone who sloughed off responsibilities. This was important to him. _I_ was important to him.

Fluttering warmth spread through me.

Edward sighed heavily into the phone.

"Are you still there?" he asked me softly as if expecting I wouldn't be.

"I'm still here," I promised, my voice less of a whisper, more confident, now that the painful ache that had been owning me ebbed ever-so-slightly.

"Good," he said, relief coloring his tone. He paused for a beat, took a breath and began, "I was on set earlier today, rehearsing for the night shots we're doing tonight and got called to the front gates. To be honest, I was excited, thinking maybe you'd come back," he said sounding hopeful in just relaying it. "Instead I found Tanya," he said, his voice hard; all traces of the light wistful tone vanished.

My heart dropped suddenly heavy as it swiftly fell to my gut and my breathing quickened uneasily with her name, despite my recent reassurance and the tone he'd use to say it.

"She'd managed to talk one of the security guys into letting her in and she wouldn't leave until she talked to me. I told her I didn't want to see her and I sure as hell didn't want her showing up, interrupting me at work. We began to argue," he paused and I knew he was running his free hand through his hair and pulling at it. The memory of the hair stylist's horrified reaction to Edward nearly doing this on set popped into my mind and brought a small smile to my face and nearly made me laugh, thinking of the reaction she'd have after seeing Edward had actually messed it up. "I told her to leave," he continued pulling me back to his explanation. "But then she began to actually apologize for the things she'd done when we were together. I was in such shock that she was acknowledging fault to _anything_ that I didn't realize what she was doing until she was already kissing me. I did _not_ kiss her back!" he said, sounding repulsed by the idea. "I reached up to push her away from me, wanting her off of me—," he broke off. "The picture Irina sent to me that's up—. Look love, I know what it looks like. I can see what you would see. It kills me knowing what you must think, but it's not that _at_ _all_. I can't stand Tanya. I wish that we didn't have a past at all. Bella, I love you. I would _never _do anything like that to you; I would never be unfaithful to you. Please believe me, love."

His voice sounded desperate and tortured.

I sat as I soaked in his explanation, staring at the picture as he spoke but even with Edward's explanation, I still couldn't see by simply looking at it, if what he'd said was right or not. I could, however, _feel_ it, and that meant far more than what a picture appeared to show. I'd seen many pictures taken out of context to make a story seem factual first-hand; many of them, appearing to validate the story captioned even though in truth, it was all completely made up.

"I called you immediately to tell you what had happened," he continued to ramble. "You were right, I _was_ upset when I left the message; I was infuriated with Tanya and I wanted so badly to talk to you, to see you... But when you called me back, we'd already started filming and I couldn't talk; I wasn't going to tell you something like that over a text message and I didn't want to alarm you, so I decided to wait and tell you when we wrapped up tonight, when we could talk about this for as long as you needed."

I could feel the truth in Edward's words strengthen in me with every word he spoke. I had gotten really good at reading Edward in the short time we'd been together, I could read his nervous tells and among other things, found, funnily enough, he was a horrible liar. I could feel the proof of what the picture showed to the accompanying article fall flat because, no matter how little the photograph appeared to have left for interpretation, it didn't add up to what I knew about Edward. And I could tell he wasn't lying to me about what actually happened.

"And then Irina sent me this article that was posted with that picture," he went on, his voice sounding more and more frantic as he went. "I called you as soon as I saw it because it looks like—. Fuck me! I'd never do that to you Bella. If I would have thought that you would have seen or heard anything about this before I had the chance to explain what really happened, I—, I don't know, I would have found a way to tell you sooner; made time to step off set to talk to you before you saw it and it hurt you. I am so sorry, love."

Edward paused and silence drifted between us as I let this settle in, feeling it calm me, still my fears, my insecurities, my self-doubts.

"Bella," his voice cracked making my heart go out to him. "Love. Say something. Please," he begged. "I just need you to say something."

"I," I began, but my voice faltered, and it was all that came out. I cleared my throat, took a deep breath but found I couldn't talk. The feeling of relief was so strong, it was overwhelming and I began to cry.

"Bella?" Edward breathed, alarmed. "Oh baby, please don't cry. I'm so sorry."

"Edward," I gasped against the strong force of tears. "I'm okay, baby. It's okay. I believe you," I managed with a shaky voice.

"Really?" he asked in a small, tentative voice.

"Really," my breathing hitched as I struggled against my body unraveling.

"Why are you crying then?" Edward breathed warily, like he was talking to someone holding a gun at him.

"Relief, I guess? I don't know, I think I'm just a bit over my limit. It's been quite a day," I said with a shaky voice. "But I guess it has been for you too. Apparently it was The Night of the Exes."

"That's right. What was it that _he_ wanted anyway?" Edward's voice was steel.

"I told you, he seemed to have missed making me feel like crap and felt the opportunity to get the satisfaction of being the one to give me the picture of you kissing Tanya was just too good for him to pass up," I said.

"First off, I did _not_ kiss her," he said, sounding like the idea was repugnant. Then his voice softened, "and second, Bella I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. Quit apologizing."

"But I am. I don't ever want to be any part of the reason you're hurt," he explained and then added, "I wish I was there so I could remind you how wrong he is; you're _everything_. Actually, I wish I'd been there so I could have punched the guy for treating you the way he did, and honestly, I have half a mind to go find the son of a bitch just to get the satisfaction," he said, sounding quite pleased with the idea.

"Edward, don't be stupid. Just leave it alone, I handled it, he's gone. He accomplished what he wanted, I don't think he'll be back," I insisted, panicked.

"If it would make you feel better, I could bring Em with me," he offered. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind helping me out on this."

"Edward, no. He is not worth your time, or effort."

"The asshole deserves far worse," he insisted angrily.

"I don't disagree with you. But that doesn't mean you should do it, just let it go… I am," I persuaded.

"You are?"

"I am," I said again, feeling how true it was. I was letting it go, even as I spoke, it was all becoming insignificant, distant, like it was another lifetime, another person. The feeling was rather freeing. "It doesn't matter what he said or did tonight or back then; they're done. I don't want to waste any more time or energy on him; he doesn't deserve it."

"Why were you ever with a guy like that?" he asked, baffled.

"Basically…," I trailed off, the word sounding like a question. "I didn't think I could do better, I guess," I shrugged. I wasn't completely sure myself, but it was the best summary I could verbalize.

"I told you, you don't see yourself very clearly. You deserved so much better than him," he breathed, sounding almost pained by saying it.

"Someone like you, perhaps?" I teased, smiling despite myself.

"Well, I don't know about that. But I do know I love you, and am doing my damnedest to be deserving of you," he whispered.

"I love you too, and I'd kind of like to think that we deserve each other," I sighed.

"I'm glad that you feel that way," he said in a way that I could almost see the smile that spread across his face.

"I am the luckiest woman in the world to have you," I insisted.

"And I am the luckiest man to have you," he said resolutely. "Thank you."

"For what?" I laughed, at a loss.

"Oh, for quite a large number of things," he said, his tone lightening slightly.

"Oh really?" I smiled, finding my mood following his. "Do I dare ask what exactly?"

Edward laughed.

"Well for starters, believing me about what actually happened with Tanya," he said, his voice turning somber. "And, for trusting me. You have no idea what that means to me, Bella."

"You've given me every reason to believe you and to trust you," I pointed out.

"But that photograph gave you every reason not to; I saw what it looked like. I can't imagine how hard that had to have been for you to see."

"It was," I admitted. "But I've found that, while pictures are said to be worth a thousand words, it isn't very often that they tell the whole story. And, I am learning very quickly that is particularly true for Pap pictures."

"Very true."

After a beat of silence Edward continued ticking off his list.

"Another is truly believing you're lucky to have me," he pointed out, his infliction was serious.

"Really, that one really is a no brainer, Edward," I laughed. "You really are quite a catch, once you get past all the sparkle and lights."

Edward laughed loudly. It was so good to hear.

"That. Right there. That's another," he said as his laughter faded but the smile in his voice remained. "The fact that it's the real me you like, not the façade."

"Well, your alter ego isn't so bad, he has his good points and I have to confess, I do like the character you've created well enough. But there is a strong distinction between you and the Anthony Cullen persona," I pointed out.

"Oh yeah?" he chuckled. "And what is that exactly?"

"Well, besides the fact that you're real and he's fictional—"

"Minor detail."

"Very minor," I laughed. "I'm in love with you, not Anthony," I said smiling to myself.

"You're not?" he asked, playing.

"Nope," I said holding back a giggle.

"I have quite the fan base that would call you right crazy for saying that."

"Yeah, well, I'm aware that I might be a bit cracked—genetics, you know. Apple, tree and all that—"

Edward let out a burst of a laugh.

"But," I continued, smiling, "the only reason that fan base of yours would think that is because they don't know how much better the real you is," I said. "And really, it's a good thing they don't."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"Yeah. If they're this crazy over the pretend you, imagine the insanity that would ensue if they ever got wind of how incredible the real you is."

"Manic hysteria," he mock agreed.

"Riots in the streets!" I gasped theatrically. "The term 'craze' would be brought to a whole new level."

"You're right, it's a very good thing they're all in the dark," he said, the sound of barely held back laughter in his voice.

"Definitely," I agreed. "Besides, I rather like having you all to myself."

"That's good because I rather like you having me all to yourself too," he said, the smile still evident.

Then a moment of silence slipped by, where I could almost feel his smile fading until he spoke again.

"Are you really alright?" he asked quietly; seriously.

"Yes, Edward," I told him honestly. "I think I am."

"Are you sure? Because I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me that because you think you have to let me get back to the set. I'll make all the time you need, love. After what happened at the Premiere, understanding now a bit more as to why and everything, I'd completely understand if you needed more than a five minute conversation about this."

"Twenty," I corrected with a smile looking at the time. "But really, I'm sure. Yes, that picture hit a little too close to home, especially given the circumstances in which it was given to me, but I'm good. Promise."

"And moving in?" he asked uncertainly.

"I'll be there when you get home."

"That's about the best thing I've ever heard."

"Good because you're not getting rid of me that easily."

"Keep talking, I like the things you're saying, love."

I laughed freely and Edward quickly joined in.

"Oh, before I forget, Alice mentioned helping you with moving," Edward said and I could hear the scratch of his thumb against his cheek as he mentioned it.

Mmmm.

"I warned her that she would need to ask you and not just show up uninvited." He continued, pulling me out of my most recent swoon. "So expect a call from her… or possibly an unexpected knock at your door; she's never really been one who listens well, plus, she's excited."

"About me moving in with you?" I asked disbelievingly; I couldn't understand why it would be such a big thing to Alice.

"I told you, she's taken to you. Well, that, and she's also a bit excited about the fact that I've finally met someone I'm willing to move in together with and make a commitment to," he confessed.

"You've never lived with anyone?"

"No. Other than my family, just you—well, as soon as you get moved in, that is," he confessed. "I can't wait to come home to you every night, Bella."

"Me either," I agreed. "I miss you, Edward," I confessed, fresh tears—of longing this time—rolled down my face. "So much."

"Christ Bella, I miss you too," he replied. "Even worse now with the day I've had."

"I know what you mean," I sighed. "There's nothing I want more than to be curled up with you right now."

"Then get your beautiful self on a plane and come here!"

"Which is it, Edward? I can't do both."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't move from my place to yours—"

"Ours," he cut me off.

"_Ours_," I amended, rolling my eyes and unable to help but smile, "_and_ go see you. So, you decide. Which do you want more?" I challenged, surprising myself with the question.

"Both," he pouted and I burst out laughing with how much he sounded like a sullen little boy; it was adorable.

"How about you get back to set and finish that movie before you get in trouble, and I'll get back to packing so I can be ready and waiting when you're done."

"You'd be moved in faster if you just let me hire the movers."

"My moving in faster won't get you done with your movie faster."

"It's good incentive."

"Besides, I can pack my own things Edward, I told you that."

"You're so stubborn."

"No more than you are."

"Fine, get packing."

"As soon as someone stops distracting me, I will."

"I think you like me being a distraction," he teased.

"You're right, I do."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, love," he said breathing a light chuckle. "And, thank you for letting me explain and trusting me."

"Of course. I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella."

I hung up the phone and sat there for a moment letting the wonderful feeling of the truth settle in. I took a breath and got up, the article of Edward and Tanya, crinkling as I did. I crumpled it, smashing it into a tight ball and tossed it in the trashcan almost feeling disappointed I hadn't thrown up because it would have been so much more satisfying throwing the picture in there if I had.

My phone sounded with a text. It was from Edward and I couldn't help but grin widely; like a complete idiot as I pulled it up on my phone.

_**Goodnight, love. x**_

I giggled, feeling my heart flutter in my chest and I quickly texted him back:

_**Goodnight, baby. Get back to work. ;) x**_

Setting the phone down, I went back to packing, wanting to get a little more done before I headed to bed for the night. As I did, I felt like I glowed with the excitement that filled me once again, knowing everything with Edward and me was perfect.

* * *

**I have a couple Song Recs for this chapter. I couldn't decide which one fit better so I'm going with both. To listen, paste the URL into your browser window. Remember to remove the spaces:**

**"Wait for Me" **by** Theory of a Deadman  
**www. youtube .watch? v=DluELMLYdlA

**-and-**

**"Dear God" **by** Avenged Sevenfold  
**www. youtube .watch? v=n0kmnmxuRH0

**I hope you feel they fit as well as I do. Anyway, j****ust a few chapters left, I think (give or take). **

**As always, I love to know what you think. Click [**Review**] and let me know.**

**xo  
****TJE**


	30. Chapter 30 A New Life

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the great response to the last chapter! You are all simply fantastic! I hope you keep reviewing.**

**I know the updates have been slower lately. I wish I could get them done faster but I'm trying. And DON'T WORRY, I'm not going to abandon you! I want to get to that HEA as much, if not more than you do. I'm finishing this, no question. Thanks a million for your patience.**

**Staceleo (a fellow author on FF, check out her stories) made a banner for The Trip and it's now my story image. Thanks Staceleo! And thank you MC for betaing this fic.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 30: A N****ew Life**

I didn't think I would ever get used to flying first class. It was nice, but it felt strange being so catered to. But of course Edward had made sure Irina had booked me in first class for my flight from SEA/TAC to LAX that Saturday evening, despite my attempts to tell him I didn't need it.

Sigh. I doubted I'd ever get Edward to change his mind on giving me such things, so I guessed I would have to learn to accept and get used to them.

When I landed at LAX, walking through the first class lounge, and into the baggage claim area, I was rather shocked and admittedly shaken when a paparazzo spotted and recognized me. He quickly rushed to my side yelling 'Isabella,' snapping pictures, following me as I walked, and began flinging questions at me; if I'd seen the picture of him and Tanya, if I was still with Anthony and why I was in town. The commotion he caused, attracted the attention of another pap with a video camera, who quickly came over, following me on the other side with his own string of questions, which resulted in many airport patrons to turn my way, gawking.

My cheeks had to have been a blazing color of scarlet from embarrassment and I felt like a cornered animal with no way to run, wanting to just get out of there. I could feel my heart racing frantically as I kept my eyes straight ahead of me and projected downward as I walked. I didn't reply to any of their questions or comments, no matter how much I wanted to tell them to leave me alone, to go to hell or that Edward and I were just fine, thank you very much. All of it would have been skewed and turned into something completely devoid of what I had said, so I clamped my mouth shut and kept walking—trying not to run as I'd surely trip and fall—hoping they'd lose interest and leave me be.

Thankfully, though, I didn't have any luggage other than my carry-on since everything had already been brought to Edward's place through the moving company, so I didn't have to endure standing around at a baggage carrousel while they harassed me. I quickly spotted the driver waiting for me—holding a sign that said "I. Swan" like a beacon to me—as I came around the corner, who, to my relief, swiftly recognized me as well and ushered me out of the area and into the waiting car. I had to admit, at that moment, I was grateful for Edward's insistence on such extravagances, because I was relieved for the quick getaway I was able to manage from the barrage of questions.

As soon as the driver pulled away from the curb to Edw— _my_ new place, I began texting everyone to let them all know I had landed safely, feeling myself relax in the quiet car, watching the city through the darkly tinted window.

Replies from Rose, Alice and Jess came quickly, with ones from others like Edward—since he was on set—and my mother shortly after. I tried to not take it too personally that neither Jake nor my dad replied back to me. I knew neither was completely convinced on Edward's explanation about the photograph of him and Tanya.

Jessica had surprised me when she found out about the photo the following day by turning into a protective mama bear, telling me Edward was "a no good prick" and that I should just forget about "the asshole". I was impressed; for Jess to say anything skating along the edge of negative about her beloved Anthony Cullen, much less full-blown slander. I felt it said quite a bit about how much she really did care about me.

As for Rose, she was ready to castrate him herself when she saw the photograph.

Jess had been the easiest to calm down though and accepted the explanation Edward had given me immediately. Rose had not been so easily swayed, but did finally come around after a few days, mostly in part to Emmett's defense of Edward's character and insistence that he knew for a fact Edward was completely serious about me and wouldn't do something like that with anyone, least of all Tanya. So thankfully, she finally believed he wasn't a "fucking bastard" after all.

When my dad and Jake had seen the photograph, however, they wanted blood. And when they found out I still had every intention to move to LA with him they were furious, to say the least. I had tried to explain it to them what had actually happened and, after some help from Rose, they calmed down. Though not before taking the opportunity to point out to me that they thought this was a perfect example of how I didn't know him well enough or been with him long enough to drastically jump states to go live with him. Finally, though, they grudgingly conceded they had to trust my judgment on this and since I believed him, maybe he wasn't a "lowlife scum bucket who deserved to painfully rot in hell alongside James" and they would have to let it go.

Their lack of reply to my text letting them know I was in LA, however, told me they still weren't happy about it or completely on board with me in trusting Edward. As painful as that was to endure, a small part of me was glad, because I knew it meant they were only so fiercely protective of me because they loved me so much.

When the car came to a stop and I stepped out, I found the doorman holding open the door for me. I was startled when he greeted me by name with the familiarization I would have only expected him to have with someone who'd been a resident of the place for years. I quickly searched for his name and returned the greeting to him as a wistful memory of Charles, the driver in New York City, came to mind. I found, strangely enough, that I missed his friendly, crinkly smile and hoped someday Edward and I would go back so I could maybe see him again. It seemed such a silly thing to miss someone I hadn't really known but I did. Or maybe it was simply the nostalgia he represented.

I was greeted again by name by another person who retrieved the elevator for me and offered to help with my bag. I declined, graciously, feeling silly to accept help for something I was quite capable of doing myself.

It was going to be difficult getting used to this catered world.

When I arrived at the floor I stood in front of Edward's door, fumbling through my purse in a panic looking for the key he'd sent me, terrified I'd done something like left it in Washington.

I breathed a shaky sigh of relief when I finally found it.

But then, to my surprise, my nerves spiked again, as I slid the key into the lock. When the key easily turned it though, my breath, I'd not realized I'd been holding, let out in a loud whoosh.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at myself as I opened the door.

_Of course the key worked Bella._ I chastised myself. "Old habits die hard" was the saying. I guessed there was a reason the saying had become used so much it was now cliché and it was a very apt statement for me in that moment.

I walked over the threshold into the dark, cool stillness of the empty space and the smell of Edward mixed with the scent of cardboard in the stagnant air filled my lungs; welcoming me to my new home. A soft hum of contentment swirled in the back of my throat in response to the inviting fragrance.

I flipped on a light feeling odd being there when Edward wasn't. I'd only been there once before when I'd been in town attending the movie Premiere, and no matter how much Edward wanted me to think of this place as my own too, it didn't feel like it. Not yet anyway.

I laughed at myself aloud realizing whether it felt like it or not, technically, at that moment, it _was_ my place and an incredulous smile of excitement swept across my face. It was truly, actually happening; I was here, moving in with Edward.

I looked around the gorgeous space soaking that in seeing my boxes strewn about everywhere thanks to Alice who had been here to receive them when the movers had arrived with my things.

I walked through the huge place I wondered errantly where I might put some of my things for when Alice came over the next day to help me unpack. And then I noticed that she already seemed to have had the boxes clustered, placed into specific rooms.

I laughed. _Well, that saved me from having to figure it out._ I thought.

Not that there really were very many boxes to contend with for unpacking.

I had discovered as I had packed that there wasn't much I wanted or felt I needed to bring with me, so there really wasn't too much to go through. After Edward had straightened things out with me about the whole Tanya thing, instead of feeling more doubtful, I found that I'd felt a whole new level of security in Edward and my relationship and decided against keeping anything in storage at all. I had either thrown or donated anything that I decided I didn't want to take with me to LA. In the end, the only things I had kept that didn't fit in a box were my bed—which was far too comfortable to bear parting with—and my bookshelf.

My new packing strategy had made the chore simple and quick, leaving very little for my family and Rose to do to help me.

Those two weeks had gone by surprisingly fast and before I knew it, it was the Friday morning of my last day at work. The movers arrived to pick up all my things; one truck heading to Good Will, the other destined to LA. I had laughed as I got in my car to head into work for my last day; it had seemed an awful large truck for the very little I ended up deciding to take with me. I actually wondered if I would have been able to fit it all in my Honda, had I not been leaving that behind as well since Edward convinced me I wouldn't need it.

I had been taken by surprise though, at how much more difficult it was, leaving the job and career I'd never really wanted, behind then I figured it would be. The office had thrown me a farewell lunch and a few people got a bit emotional at the gathering, but, for me, it was shutting off my computer and walking out the building for the last time that actually got me choked up. It was an odd feeling being so sad about leaving behind the job I always just considered simply something that paid the bills and coworkers I never really was very close to. But then I figured it was because any ending, was sad in its own way.

After work that night, I had swung by the apartment to do one last walk through, hearing the sound of my footsteps echo from the emptiness of the small place as I did. It had been bittersweet leaving the simple, little apartment that sat overlooking the main street of Port Angeles behind for many reasons. I had stood, looking out the window to the street and realized just then how much I was going to miss the place. But the wistful feelings were quickly chased away by the excitement of moving on to my future with Edward, and I knew I was ready to run headlong towards that.

I had stayed at Rosalie's place that night. We had stayed up most of the night talking, crying, laughing and drinking. It was that night she had confessed to me that she'd fallen in love with Emmett and she didn't think it would be much longer that she'd be able to keep him and Henry in separate worlds. She also told me that after dropping me off at the airport, she was going to meet Emmett at his parents' place so she could meet and have dinner with them. Her confession had recalled the vision I'd had of her and me at Carlisle and Esme's with the rest of Edward and Emmett's family, gathered around, talking and laughing. I'd smiled to myself, thinking maybe the wishful image I'd conjured up wasn't only going to be fantasy after all.

When we had headed to my parent's place for lunch the next morning, we still hadn't quite recovered from all the drinking the night before but my parents had decided to have everyone over for pizza one last time before I flew out that afternoon. The men remained dry faced, but every one of us women were in tears at one point or another. Despite that, when it was time for Rose and I to hit the road, Jake hugged me so hard I thought he was going to break a rib and he made me promise to let him know if I needed him for anything at all. He had then used his authoritative, police officer voice to order me to come back and see him often. And as for my father, I'd had to practically fight to get him to let go of me from his bear hug and when he did, he actually looked little choked up…

I shook off the thought of moving away from my friends and family and the state I'd always called home because leaving them was difficult. Besides, I knew I'd still see them—Edward and I were planning to go over there in a couple weeks—and more so, there was something I wanted more than to be with them; to be with Edward.

I walked into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water and then realized I was hungry. It was late in the day and I hadn't been able to stomach much of the pizza for lunch before I'd left. I wondered what I was going to do for something to eat, as it just occurred to me that Edward wouldn't have much of anything in the house for food with him being away for months shooting his film.

Crap.

I guessed it was time to take Edward's Volvo for a spin—which he insisted I use, leaving my Honda at my parents' place for now—and blindly learn LA.

Yikes. The thought tightened my stomach with nerves at the thought of trying to navigate through the fast city. By the time I entered the kitchen I'd lost my appetite as quickly as I'd recovered it.

Maybe just a glass of water was best.

But as I walked past the refrigerator to the cupboards for a glass, a bright green Post-it note stuck to its handle caught my eye. I stopped to read it and found it was actually addressed to me:

_Bella,  
__I knew there would be nothing to eat in the house, so I picked you up a few things.  
__See you tomorrow!  
__Love, Alice_

I smiled, feeling my nervous stomach relax. Leave it to Alice to anticipate what I would need.

XXXXX

"I'm curious," I said, lying in Edward's bed—in _our_ bed—breathing in the crisp scent of clean linens mixed with the smell of Edward later that night.

Hmmm. Practically heaven.

"And what exactly are you curious about?" Edward prompted playfully.

"Your closet," I explained, trying to make it sound like a genuinely innocent question. "Have you always kept one side of it completely empty?" I bit my lip to hold back a giggle.

"Why of course," he said in a serious tone.

"That's very odd. You know that, right?"

"I've always had this thing about the right-side of closets. I've been frightened of them since I was a child. Emmett hid in one dressed as a monster and popped out, frightening the daylights out of me when I was little. Scarred me for life."

"You should really see a shrink about that," I teased. "Oh, and your clothes are all on the right, it's the left-side that's empty," I pointed out.

"Fifty-fifty shot of getting that right," he breathed regretfully with a chuckle.

I laughed loudly.

"The part about Emmett hiding in a closet with a frightening mask and scaring the piss out of me when we were little is totally true though," he insisted. "That ass! I had nightmares for months."

"The curse of having an older brother," I said knowingly.

"Exactly," Edward laughed. "The real reason half the closet is bare is I asked Alice when she was over there yesterday, if she'd be willing to rearrange my clothes, so you had a place to put yours away," Edward explained. "I wanted to do it myself, but since I'm stuck here for another week, I had no choice but to ask Alice to do it for me."

"Yes you did."

"I did what?" he asked confused.

"Have another choice," I explained. "I could have done it."

"Oh I know you could have, but I doubt you would have actually done it," he challenged. "I think, no matter what I told you, that you would have felt too presumptuous to go ahead and take half, or any of the closet for that matter, without it being specifically cleared for you. You're not the kind of person who easily feels entitled to anything, even if it's rightfully yours."

"I have you fooled," I scoffed with false bravado. "I was going to tell you I was rather offended I was cleared only half; I feel I should get whole thing."

"Done," he replied immediately. "My clothes can go to the spare room."

"Edward! I was joking!" I said, horrified.

Edward laughed hardily. "I know," he said through his laughter and then continued as it calmed. "But if you need more room, take it."

"I don't see that happening in my lifetime. That closet is huge. I doubt my stuff would fill a small fraction of that space."

"You'd be surprised what a little time around Alice can do," he pointed out. "She's personally supplemented more than three quarters of my wardrobe. She's an unstoppable force."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Be warned, she'll probably start immediately," he cautioned.

I groaned.

"She means well," he added softly.

"I know," I sighed.

A comfortable silence drifted between us.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"How did the doorman—and everyone else here for that matter—immediately recognize me and know my name?"

"It's a secure building, love, they have to know who all the residents are," he explained.

"Oh."

I tried to digest that; I was a resident of the building. That thought would take some getting used to just like all the rest.

"But that reminds me, you'll probably want to talk to security tomorrow to have a list of your friends and relatives you want on the visitors list."

"Do I have to do that?"

"No," he laughed. "But they won't be allowed to come up to the house without you accompanying them if they're not."

"Hmm, I kind of like the sound of that—for now anyway."

Edward laughed.

I yawned loudly; the day quickly catching up to me.

"Am I boring you?" Edward teased.

"No. It's just been a long day and your bed is really comfortable."

"You're in bed?" he asked, his voice taking on a sultry tone. That got his attention.

"Mmmhmm," I said with a sleepy smile, feeling exhaustion creep heavily over me, quickly pushing me under.

"You love to torment me," he accused.

"Nope, just giving you good incentive to hurry home," I said shifting to my side and curling up in the blankets.

"What are you wearing?"

"I'll disappoint you if you were hoping for my answer to be 'nothing,'" I warned, my eyelids closing, feeling like they'd been filled with lead and I tried to stifle another yawn.

"Actually, I must say I'm relieved, I don't think I could handle hearing that you're wearing nothing in our bed when I'm not there," he murmured.

"Good, 'cause I'm wearing your t-shirt," I said with a smile, knowing for some reason I couldn't comprehend, he found that incredibly sexy. His reaction did not disappoint.

He let out a deep humming groan. "Fuck, Bella."

I giggled sleepily. "I suppose I don't need to wear it here, since the whole place smells like you, but I like sleeping in your shirts; they're comfy. I've gotten used to sleeping in them." It made me feel like I was wrapped in Edward.

"You're killing me here Bella," he moaned.

"I told you, I'm giving you incentive," I insisted, my eyes closing out of their own accord.

"You're incentive enough, everything in addition to that is just—"

"Icing on top of the cake?" I offered, feeling my head sink lower into the pillow as my body relaxed into the bed.

"I was going to say, 'unnecessarily cruel' but now I've got this image of you and icing…"

"Hmmm. Icing sounds good. I'll pick some up at the grocery store," I said sleepily thinking I really should shut off the light I'd left on in the other room, but I couldn't get my body to pull away from the mattress. My hand couldn't even hold the phone, my head was laying on it.

Edward started laughing, there was no sound other than his breath exhaling in short bursts for a few seconds before he took a breath and the incredulously sounding laughter was audible. It was a wonderful sound I could listen to for the rest of my life.

"I better let you sleep, Bella. I don't think you know what you're saying anymore," he said through his laughter.

"Kay. But don't forget; you, me and icing when you get back. It sounds interesting. I'm curious now," I said, my voice garbled with sleep that was pulling me under.

"Goodnight, Bella. I love you."

"I love you too, baby," I said skating so close the edge of consciousness I wasn't entirely certain I'd said it out loud.

XXXXX

Unpacking my things the next day was significantly less chaotic than packing my things up at my old apartment had been with my family. Alice was a pleasantly chipper companion, placing my things in just the right places in their new home; my crystal vase making an end table look complete, the framed picture of Rosalie and me set perfectly on a shelf, and a throw blanket my Grandma Swan had sewn for me folded and lain over the back of the oversized chair giving the room a homier feel. She seemed to have a knack for knowing the perfect place for everything, making them look like they belonged there all along—which was a good feeling because it made me feel like maybe I had too.

"Do you care if I mix your CDs in with Edward's?" Alice asked looking up from the box of CDs she'd just opened.

I shook my head as I looked up from the grocery list I was constructing to supplement what Alice had left for me.

"No, I don't," I said with a small smile. "But do you think Edward would?" I posed.

Alice flashed me a reproachful look.

"What?" I asked defensively. "It's not like I'm asking you if he'd mind my toothbrush being laid next to his, it's his music. It's different."

"I suppose you make a point," she conceded grudgingly as she reached in to start pulling the jewel cases out. "But no, Edward won't mind. This is your home too and like I told you before Edward's birthday dinner I don't think you realize just how taken he is with you. I've never seen him want anything so much as to be with you."

"No, I think I'm starting to grasp it," I smiled. Because I felt like I was. For some unknown reason, Edward felt the same way about me as I did about him and I could feel that I believed that.

Alice let out a laugh that made her positively glow.

"Yes, I suppose you are," she admitted and I watched her face turn serious again and she let go of the jewel cases, pulling her hands from the box, empty. "I know about what Tanya did, and how you were shown the picture," she said looking at me carefully, probably easily seeing how my body stiffened and face contorted with the memory of the picture flashing through my head with the mention of it. The image of Tanya's lips on Edward's still hurt, even though I wished it wouldn't because I truly believed what Edward said really happened. I figured after I saw Edward again it would be easier to toss the image aside but for now, it still stung whenever it came to mind.

I nodded as I bit my lip.

"I also know that you believed Edward immediately when he told you what actually happened," she continued. "I can't tell you how much that means to Edward… and to all of us that he has someone like you in his life," she said softly.

"Like I told him; he's given me every reason in the world to believe him and no reason to doubt him," I shrugged.

"Bella," Alice said, giving me a withering look, "are you forgetting I found you at the Premiere? And that I know, at least the basics, of what happened with your ex? Even with your reasoning, I could imagine it was nothing short of difficult to see that photograph."

"Yeah. It was," I admitted quietly, dropping my eyes back to my list, willing myself to not cry. I had no reason to cry. What the image looked like didn't happen. It wasn't real. I fully believed that. So why my eyes started to well with tears, I had no idea and that bothered me.

"You're one strong woman," she said sounding awed.

I didn't feel strong. While I no longer felt frail, weak and worthless like I had at one time, I still didn't feel necessarily _strong_. Not in that moment anyway. Not while I was standing there, fighting back threatening tears because of a simple mention of a photograph that had zero merit; that didn't feel strong to me.

"You're right though; Edward isn't that kind of a guy," Alice continued. "And I can't tell you how happy I am that he has someone like you who can look past all the Hollywood crap and see the real him."

I glanced up at her and met her smiling face, completely serious about what she'd just said. I smiled back and blushed brightly—for what, I didn't know.

"I'm sorry you had to be at the receiving end of one of Tanya's schemes," she added. "She's one conniving little bitch."

My eyes locked with hers with question and surprise of Alice's harsh statement that seemed so out of character for her.

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "She's a piece of work. She always has some ulterior motive running. I never trusted her and thankfully it didn't take long for Edward to realize it too with all the things she was doing behind his back. I hate her for hurting him the way she did. You know," she added, angrily, "I'd bet everything I own that she had that whole photograph staged."

"What do you mean by 'staged'?" I asked, confused. To me, "staged" sounded like something orchestrated where Edward played a willing part in and I knew that wasn't true.

"I mean," she explained, "I think Tanya had set up someone to be there taking pictures, and had them submit the one that made it look like Edward was kissing her back. It's not like she hasn't done that kind of crap before," she tsked. "That woman was always desperate for attention, needing to be in the center of it. There's been so much chatter in the media about Edward being with you—far more than there ever was when he was with her—I don't think she could handle it."

I stared, unfocused, in Alice's direction, not really looking at anything, just taking in what Alice had said as she returned to her task beginning pulling out the CDs again. Alice's hands stopped in mid-air, holding the first few CDs she pulled from the box. She looked at them closer, turning them over and began to giggle.

"What?" I asked, blushing as my eyes refocused, wondering what CD I owned she found funny.

"It really was just a matter of time before you two crossed paths, wasn't it?" she asked, dividing the stack into two, and holding up the Rules of Caius CDs in both hands to show me. "You have _all_ their CDs," she laughed again. "I heard you and Rosalie regularly went to their concerts," she said like a question.

"Um, yeah, whenever they were in the area we almost always went. After that first concert at some hole-in-the-wall place in Seattle back in college, we were hooked," I admitted. "They've been my favorite band ever since."

"What place?"

"The Attic."

"Edward was there—Emmett and me too, in fact," she laughed. "It was Rules of Caius' first concert in the Seattle; the only place they could get into back then. They had played a few places in New York and then played at The Attic before they went down to LA for a while and started getting really popular here in the US."

My phone rang loudly from the counter, sounding out with that newest favorite Rules of Caius song. Alice let out a chiming giggle as I went to answer it.

"Hello?" I answered in a laugh without looking at the display, distracted by Alice's amusement of my ringtone.

"That is one beautiful sound," Edward's voice answered me.

"Hey baby," I said, biting my lip, trying unsuccessfully to hide the giddy grin Edward's voice evoked. I could feel my cheeks heat up, knowing I had an audience.

"Something funny?" he enquired.

"Alice," I said, simply.

"I'm glad she's not only helping you settle in, but providing entertainment as well," he laughed.

"I think I'm the entertainment, to be honest," I corrected as Alice returned to pulling out all my CDs and stacking them on the coffee table. "But yes, she's been expertly finding new homes for my things," I said, flashing Alice a smile as I walked out of the room and into the bedroom.

"Good. Though I'm sorry it's not me helping you unpack. I wish it were," he apologized.

"Edward, stop. It's not a big deal, really," I assured him as I sat on the edge of the bed. "I've really been enjoying spending time with your sister."

"Well, good then," he laughed. Then he let out a deep breath. "Just a few more days, love," he reminded me, but it sounded like the statement was just as much a reminder for himself.

I hummed. "I can't wait," I sighed longingly. "It feels like ages since I've been able to touch you."

"You're telling me," he agreed making me giggle, which evoked a breathy laugh from him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes."

"Good. I don't want you falling asleep on me again when we talk later," he laughed lightly. "Though I always enjoy listening to you talk in your sleep—I've missed that. You're rather amusing," he added.

Wait.

"What?" I felt my insides freeze and twist.

"I'm pretty sure you fell asleep on me last night," he said with a smile in his voice.

"No. What do you mean you 'always enjoy listening to me talk in my sleep'?"

"Just that. Didn't you know that you talk in your sleep?" he asked.

"Yes, but…" My cheeks were on fire. I'd thought, or rather hoped, I'd outgrown it. "What have I said?" I squeaked hesitantly feeling mortified.

"Numerous interesting things," he said vaguely. "Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Edward, just tell me," I pleaded.

"Most of it is nonsense words or phrases that are mumbled so I can't make them out," he began. "But you've mostly said my name, that you love me, that you don't want me to go, things like that."

I began to breathe. "What did I say last night that made you think I was talking in my sleep?"

"Something about icing," he admitted, the smile returning to his voice, hearing mine relax.

I laughed loudly as my whole body heated with embarrassment. "I wish I could blame that on sleep talking. I do remember that. Though I don't know what possessed me to say it; I've never found the appeal of bringing food into the bedroom. I'm claiming Temporary Partial Consciousness."

"Temporary Partial Consciousness?" Edward laughed incredulously.

"It's a state of mind where you say things you normally wouldn't," I said defining it like it was a real thing.

"Interesting," he laughed. "That's alright about the icing, love. I wasn't planning to hold you to it; there's nothing better than the taste of you anyway," he said. "And besides, you're sweet enough on your own."

I laughed. "I'm glad you think so. Though I might have to pick some up… just in case."

Edward laughed loudly. "I can't wait. Either way."

"Good," I replied. "Because I'm going a little crazy here without you."

"Well, I actually might have just the thing for you to pass the time," he offered changing the subject.

"And what is that?" I asked inquisitively.

"What do you plan on doing tomorrow?" he asked.

"Well, at the rate Alice and I are going, we should be done unpacking today, so I have no idea. Grocery shopping probably. Why?"

"Feel up for doing an interview?"

Wait.

"What?"

"I told you that I've been working at finding more out for you for on-set teaching," he said, like my surprise was unwarranted.

"Well, yeah," I replied. "But, I wasn't expecting you to get me an _interview_."

"Well, I did," he said smugly. "I just got off the phone with Siobhan at the agency that supplies the majority of on-set teachers in Hollywood. She wants to meet with you. She said if you're available, she could make time to talk to you tomorrow."

"Are you serious?" I breathed incredulously, covering my mouth with my free hand. My dream job was actually within arm's reach. Just like that. I was stunned. "Oh Edward, _thank you_!"

"Oh, I can't take all the credit," he insisted. "I may have reached out to her, but it was Seth's glowing feedback about you that got her to stop and really pay attention to how wonderful a teacher you are."

"Seth?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, Seth," Edward confirmed. "Siobhan told me that if you're even half as wonderful of a teacher as Seth insisted you were, they'd be lucky to have you. And I wholeheartedly agree."

"He said that?"

"If you were able to see yourself properly," Edward rebuked, "it wouldn't surprise you that he had. Bella, Seth told me that he learned more from you in that half hour than he had from Charlotte since he arrived on set. He adores you—actually I think he has a crush on you," I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of that comment, "but that's beside the point. You're obviously a natural at teaching."

"Tell him 'thank you' for me," I requested, tears welling with gratitude and starting to spill over. What a fantastic kid.

"Of course," Edward replied softly. "So, if you want it, you have an interview set up with Siobhan tomorrow at two o'clock. She's holding that time for you. If you can't or don't want to—."

"No! I do! I want to!" I insisted, cutting him off.

Edward laughed and I would have bet he was racking his fingers through his hair. Then he gave me Siobhan's phone number to confirm the meeting and the address of where in LA the agency's office was located.

"Thank you, Edward. This is…" I trailed off, at a loss for words. I was trembling.

"Bella, you don't need to thank me," he assured me. "I'll do everything in my power to help you realize any and all of your dreams, baby. You deserve every last one of them."

Tears raced down my face now. I still wasn't used to this kind of encouragement and support, at least not from my significant other. And this was my _dream_ job; something I had quite literally tossed away, giving up on it. Now, it was staring me right in the face.

"Why are you crying, love?" he asked, at a loss, hearing my sniffles.

"I'm just so _happy_," I explained my overwhelming rush of emotion.

Edward laughed, "Good, I want you happy."

I smiled and thanked him again, telling him I'd make sure to be all ready for the interview.

We hung up, Edward promising to call again later tonight after he got back from the set.

I sat there, on the edge of the bed and let myself cry for a minute or two. My emotions felt so overloaded—moving in with Edward, an interview for my dream job—I felt like I just needed to let them out; to escape and drain. When the tears calmed, I composed myself and called Siobhan's number, leaving a message to confirm my meeting with her the next day and thanking her for the opportunity.

Lost in thought, when a round of soft knocking at the bedroom door sounded, I gave a start.

"I don't mean to pry," Alice said, peeking her head in, "but are you alright? I heard you crying…" she trailed off, stepping into the room and hovering by the doorway.

"Everything is great," I told her honestly. "In fact everything is completely perfect," I marveled at just how true that statement was. Then I explained I was crying because I was happy and told her about my interview the next day.

"We have to go shopping!" Alice gasped and immediately grinned widely.

"Why?"

"To buy clothes for your interview!" Alice said, like it was obvious. It was, of course, but that wasn't what I'd meant by my question.

"I realize that's what you meant, but what I meant was, why do I need new clothes? I have plenty of work clothes. I'm sure I could find something in there," I insisted.

"_Please_ Bella?" she begged, her eyes wide like a young child asking for their birthday present.

"Fine," I said with a laugh, unable to resist her, just like I was rarely ever able to resist Rosalie when she wanted to take me shopping. Besides, I didn't want to hurt my chances at this dream job because of my inept fashion sense.

"Really?" she asked, in an octave higher than her usual bell-like voice as her face lit up. "Thank you!" she said jumping up and down with excitement. "Come on, let's go! We can finish unpacking later!"

I couldn't help but join her in her excitement as she towed me out of the house and down to her car. Not for the shopping, of course, but for the fact that I was actually going to interview for my dream job.

I felt incredibly blessed and happy, like the universe had shifted and become a place where things went right for me. It was an incredible feeling accompanying all the countless life changes I'd had in such a short time.

* * *

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**TJE**


	31. Chapter 31 Reunited

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* * *

**Chapter 31: Reunited**

It was late Wednesday night. I looked at the clock that hung on the living room wall.

Nope.

It was Thursday morning, just after midnight, and I was fidgeting in the normally comfortable oversized chair. I'd been sitting there, under the quilt from my grandma Swan, trying futilely again to get into a book because I couldn't sleep.

I was too keyed up from my callback interview I'd had with Liam to be able to drift to sleep.

The interview with Siobhan I'd had Monday had gone wonderfully. My first reaction to the tall, buxom woman with black hair and shocking blue eyes was intimidation. She had a very commanding presence that probably came mostly from her height that was easily over six feet. But she was friendly too and seemed quite impressed by the things she'd heard of me. It actually felt like she was trying to impress _me_ which was extremely flattering, especially since I had no real _actual_ experience. She even had me sit down with a friendly sprite of a woman with bright red ringlets named Maggie to fill out paperwork for background screening after we were through with our meeting.

The whole interchange had gone so well in fact that, as I slipped into Edward's Volvo and began driving back to the house, the same uncomfortable feeling crept over me that I'd get when I finished a test I'd found to be surprisingly easy in a subject I wasn't my strongest in. It was a cold sweat feeling, realizing it shouldn't have been nearly that simple and easy; the feeling that came with worrying I'd been horribly wrong about how great it had gone.

A few miles down the road though, I got mad and cursed myself for my horrible old habits of self-doubt and attempted to shake off the feeling. I had to remember though, I'd spent years of my life convincing myself that any type of teaching job just wasn't going to happen for me, and then a couple more feeling like there was no way I could have anyhow. So to have teaching become something that was so close to a reality with a fantastic interview, felt too good to be true—like everything else in this alternate world I'd been spun into since meeting Edward.

My self-castigation about my old habit of self-doubt had been quickly supported when Siobhan called me a couple hours after we'd met, asking for me to come back for another interview. She wanted me to meet with Liam, her boss, who hadn't been available to meet with me that day and set me up for an interview with him Wednesday.

When I'd left my interview with Liam, however, I didn't feel nearly as confident about the potential employment. He too had a commanding presence, but his didn't soften like Siobhan's had once we started talking. He'd been forthright in telling me quite frankly that they really didn't have an opening for a teacher at the moment and seemed rather annoyed that he had to meet with me because of that fact. He also took the opportunity to point out some holes in my credentials I'd need before being able to proceed with this unique and rare career path; items that seemed far more concerning to him than they had to Siobhan, who'd all but brushed them off as minor details easily and quickly remedied. I'd left, holding back tears of frustration, thinking I'd just blown my chances at getting into this field of teaching.

I found my mind going over and over the interview with Liam, zeroing in on the worst parts and picking apart what I had said and how I could have said it better or different. I wished he would have told me as I left that I wasn't going to be considered any longer, instead of telling me I should hear from Siobhan within a week.

It was driving me insane.

Between not knowing for certain what my fate was with them and the fact that Edward had said he'd hoped to be home the following night, I couldn't shut my mind down to be able to fall asleep. I quickly realized my second attempt at reading was as futile as my first and shut my book with more force than necessary out of frustration.

I looked around the large place, searching for inspiration for something else to do. I'd tried watching TV earlier, but there wasn't anything on that interested me—even with the thousand channels Edward had. I'd already tried and failed watching a movie to kill time, finding I couldn't sit still long enough to get absorbed in the story. I'd even baked a batch of cookies while listening to music as a distraction. I loved how baking made me feel more settled, and I could feel myself begin to think of the place as my home, but I was disappointed that the task was done too quickly. I had nothing left to unpack, no groceries to purchase and even though Edward's Volvo was fun to drive, I had nowhere to go at this time of night. Plus, I didn't yet feel comfortable finding my way around this new city to drive randomly in the dark. I hadn't heard from Edward, so he was likely sleeping or working on the last few scenes he had left to shoot, and Rosalie, Jake and Alice were all likely to be in bed, having to work tomorrow. And as for Jess, while I would have loved a midnight chat with my sister, she was now very uncomfortable from being pregnant with the twins and had, in turn, become exceptionally moody. And I wasn't about to rattle that lion's cage ,even two states away.

Sigh. I knew I was getting desperate if I was wishing for someone to just talk to for absolutely no reason.

Hmm.

I needed to do something until I found unconsciousness because I couldn't stop thinking about my botched interview or the fact that Edward hoped to be home the following day.

I sighed heavily. Inspiration lacking.

Then an image of something I'd come across in the kitchen the other day while looking for dishtowels flashed through my head. I had giggled at the time when I'd found the junk drawer instead of the towels, because I found a few additional guitar picks in there, remembering my amusement at the number of them lying around the place. There were other music related items in there as well, along with pens, a pad of paper, Post-its and a sheet of fine stock paper. It was the memory of that sheet of stock paper I'd barely glanced at in that moment that caught my attention now.

I reached forward, setting the book on the table next to the chair that was the new home for my crystal vase, shoved my quilt aside and padded over to the kitchen's junk drawer. As I walked, I felt the soft, warm carpet between my toes and when I reached the kitchen the tile, that should have been shockingly cold, it was warm too. The place had something I'd never heard of before called in-floor heat throughout that chased away the chill that hardwood and tile usually held. It was a luxury, I had to admit, I really liked. The feel of it left a nice, cozy feeling in me and was especially appreciated in the morning when the floor usually felt its coldest.

As I slid the drawer open, its contents slid around from the motion. I pushed a couple pens out of the way and grabbed the sheet of thick stock paper:

Amenities. I looked through the long list.

Pool? No. I wasn't completely certain I owned a swimsuit any more.

Bar? Hmm. It was true that alcohol could lull me to sleep, but I could drink in the house that had plenty of liquor should I wish to indulge in it. Besides, drinking alone at a bar didn't exactly sound appealing.

Spa? No. Definitely not. I wasn't ready for something like that, even if it had been open at that hour.

I continued to skim the long list of things, hoping something would catch my interest, realizing there were so many things available right there that a person could find themselves rarely needing to ever leaving the building.

Gym. I felt my interest flicker. While I was in the running for one of the world's most uncoordinated people, I'd found that lately it didn't plague me quite as acutely as it had.

I wondered why that was. But the question dissolved as quickly as it formed, my thoughts back on my quest for a distraction.

The gym actually sounded like a good idea. I did regularly attend self-defense classes, thanks to my dad and Jake, and went to yoga and kickboxing variety classes with Rosalie without sending myself to the emergency room anymore. I'd even used elliptical machines a few times without catastrophe.

The sheet even indicated the gym was open twenty-four hours and it would be a good outlet to expend my body's excess production of energy. Besides, if I exhausted myself, it wouldn't matter if I couldn't shut my head off, I'd be out before I hit the pillow.

In theory anyway.

I had nothing to lose. So I threw on my workout clothes and headed down to the building's gym.

An hour later I returned to the house completely and thoroughly exhausted, dripping with sweat. The gym had a locker room with showers, but I had been too focused on my goal to think about bringing a fresh change of clothes down with me to change into afterward.

I was relatively optimistic that my workout had done the trick. My whole body felt like jelly and I could barely form a coherent thought. I headed straight to the en suite bathroom, peeled off my sweaty clothes and stepped into the shower, every bit as luxurious as the one had been in Edward's hotel room in New York.

I smiled with the realization, as I stepped into the shower, that my wish to have one of my own like this someday was now actually a reality. It felt strange knowing that was true, even if I was becoming used to the idea of calling this place home.

I shook my head in utter disbelief at how completely my life had changed in the span of only a couple months.

As soon as the water hit me, every semi-coherent thought weaving through my head fell away. I sagged under the steamy multi-headed streams flowing down over me, finally feeling bliss in the fact that my mind had ground to a halt. Then I swathed myself in Edward's shampoo, conditioner and soap. I'd been favoring his products over my own since moving in, covering myself in the smell of him while he was so far away. It wasn't exactly his fragrance, the missing ingredient seemed to be the smell of sunshine his skin somehow naturally held, but it was as close as I was getting to him until he returned.

I continued to stand under the water after I'd run out of things to do, simply enjoying the relaxing thrumming of it beating down on me, finally letting go of my stressful day.

After some time, a draft of cold air hit me. I shuddered with the unwelcome chill that ran across my body, pulling me from my semi-conscious stupor. It was then I realized I had actually drifted off while leaning against the tiles. I stood upright, took a deep breath, and decided the draft was my cue to head to bed. I sleepily pulled my hand up, barely opening my now heavy eyes, and reached for the handle to shut off the water, missing several times.

I jumped at the sound of the shower door opening. My eyes flew open as my head jerked towards the source of the noise, abandoning my listless attempts to shut the water off.

"Edward!" I gasped when my eyes fell upon a pair of striking green eyes and a mess of bronze hair. My chest warmed with its frantic pounding, sending tingles of heat flooding through the rest of my body; charging it, waking it up.

"You have to be the most beautiful sight in the entire world," he marveled, staring at me with an excited wonder, his eyes danced wantonly as they raked over my bare, wet body.

I stared back at him, knowing he was wrong; it was the sight of _him_ standing before me that was the most beautiful sight in the world. Edward looked tired and disheveled, but gloriously naked, every muscle etched to perfection, wearing only my favorite, crooked smile that seemed to glow, just for me.

He looked sexier than anyone ever had in the existence of man; I was absolutely certain of it. And somehow, he was _mine_.

I bit my lip as we stared at one another. I was in disbelief that he was actually here, standing in front of me, within reach, and we were finally together. I hoped the tears that began to fall from my eyes were camouflaged by the water falling over me and I prayed to every deity I could think of that the sight of him wasn't just my overly tired imagination running on a loose spindle.

I didn't think I could have handled that.

"Edward," I breathed as I reached out for him—not just to prove to myself that he was real but also because I was hopelessly addicted to his touch and it had been too long since I'd felt it. I felt hollow having been without it—I needed the drug he was to me. Edward quickly stepped into the shower with me, closing the glass door behind him.

Our bodies crashed against one another's with the eagerness we had, thrilling my body with the touch of his, taking away any lingering exhaustion with it. The relief I felt when our hands, our chests and our lips pressed impatiently together, felt so strong it could have been tangible. I slid my arms around his neck, trying to anchor him to me, never wanting to let him go. And the smell of sunshine that was all Edward greeted my nose when I tried to catch my breath between ardent kisses. It made me realize how everything else I'd thought smelled like him, sufficing myself while he was away, was but a poor imitation of the real thing.

He smelled _so_ much better. It was like nothing else in the world.

Edward slid his hands from my waist, up along my sides, reaching around my arms, slipping them firmly along the sides of my face and pulled back. I opened my eyes wildly with the removal of his lips from mine—the drug I'd needed so desperately—as a whine of protest escaped my throat.

"I am so sorry, love," he murmured, his eyes blazing with sincerity as he dipped his head to give me another all-too-short kiss as he rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs. I knew his apology wasn't for breaking the kiss, but for what had happened with Tanya. "I know you said not to be, but I am. I'm so fucking sorry for what it looked like and for what it must have done to you to see it," he said, brushing the back of his fingers tenderly down the side of my face. My eyes closed reflexively as I leaned into his touch and a light moaning sigh escaped my lips. "I'm sorry you had to find out about it from anyone but me, before I could even explain," he added, flipping his hand back so the palm cradled my cheek. I opened my eyes, looking back up at his green ones that were burning with intensity as he began lightly rubbing my face again with this thumb. "But worst of all, you had to hear about it from your incorrigible ex. Bella, you have to know that it means everything to me that you believed me," he voice cracked and his eyes bore into mine, looking lost and wild as water continued to cascade over us. "I was certain that I was going to…" he closed his eyes and took a breath, shaking his head, before re-opening them and he began again. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

I slid my hands from behind his neck to the sides of his face mimicking his on mine, making the water bunch, twisting over my fingers and rolling down my arm. Edward dipped his head and I rose up onto my toes until our foreheads were pressed together, wanting to take away his unwarranted guilt. My eyes fell closed, soaking in the feel of him close to me, reveling in completeness of it as the water fell off his face and dripped onto mine. I could feel the vibrating electricity swirling around us; a feeling so powerful, I wondered if there were any other two people on the planet who could feel such a pull between them. After a moment, I pulled back and he opened his eyes to me.

"You make me feel things I never thought possible for _anyone_, least of all me. I never knew this intensity of feeling existed. I never knew I could want or love someone the way I do with you," I confessed. "And even more than that, the way you look at me, talk to me, treat me and touch me…" I stopped. Edward had begun to skim his hands along my body, distracting me, leaving me grappling in my head for what I was trying to say, suddenly unsure of how to continue. I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them again to the most gorgeous sight I'd ever known that had only a fraction to do with how heartbreakingly handsome the man standing before me was. "I know the way it feels to be with someone who doesn't respect you, who doesn't care about you, who doesn't love you—not truly anyway. The simple _lack_ of feeling that exists there—. As incriminating as that photograph _appeared_, believing that what _we_ have is anything the same as what _that _past 'experience' in my life—," I stopped, at a loss for words and started again. "It didn't feel _possible_ that you could ever do that to me too."

Edward closed his eyes and let out his breath, his jaw clenching. He was trying to hide it, but I could read the anger on his face.

"Edward, don't—" I began, shaking my head, knowing where his thoughts had traveled because of my poor articulating skills. I had wanted to explain to him how I knew I could trust what he said, not point out what a jackhole asscrack my ex was—that had already been established. Besides, it wasn't what I was trying to say.

"No, Bella." Edward's nostrils flared as he opened his now stormy eyes that flickered wildly with anger. "I have _every_ right to hate that fucking bastard. The thought of him near you the other night. The thought of him treating you that way—"

"I know," I cut him off, watching his face turn murderous. "But that's not the point. Hey," I said, commanding his attention—pulling him away from the brutal train of thought his mind was charging down—and making him look into my eyes. "The point I was trying to make was that I know the difference now; I _know_ that you're nothing like that. As horrible as his surprise visit was, it was probably the best thing for me." Edward's eyes flashed with anger at my words, not yet understanding what I meant by them. "It made what I was struggling to believe in, you, me, us… become so blaringly obvious, I couldn't deny or doubt it. And seeing him again only highlighted the fact that there is _nothing_ similar in the two of you. And besides," I added unsuccessfully holding back a smug grin, "if you hadn't been telling the truth, I would have known it. You're a really horrible liar."

I raised my eyebrows playfully from my tease and I completely lost my battle at holding back my smile when Edward's expression looked offended in reaction to my comment. Then he rolled his eyes and smiled, knowing I was right—at least when it came to me.

"When did you get so self-assured?" he marveled at me. "I have to say it's incredibly sexy on you," he added dragging his fingers down my neck and between my breasts.

"When you showed me that I have every reason in the world to be," I replied smirking up at him. It was true. It had taken James toxicity shoved back into my face to realize just how severe the contrast was, but it was Edward who showed me what I'd been lead to think and believe about myself for the past several years was completely wrong.

Edward laughed indulgently, chuckling as he shook his head, holding my face in his hands, then pulled me in for a kiss as I smiled against his lips. It started light and playful, but quickly my smile faded as it turned serious, deepening with each pass. All the remaining questions surrounding the unanswered hows and whats were casualties of the reaction my body had to his touch, quickly melting away; washing down the drain with the water as it poured around and over us.

Within seconds I was wanting—needing—more.

Our hands became desperate as they traveled hungrily over one another's body, my need to connect with him was so consuming I felt delirious.

Being in his arms again was nothing shy of wonderful. It was as if every last piece of him radiated with need, want and love for me. I felt it with every pass of his lips… every graze and clutch of his fingers… each sweep of tongue… If I'd still had any lingering doubt of the truth of what had happened with Tanya, the raw emotion in his touch would have instantly disintegrated them. And it was more than just unhinging desire, but love and devotion too; all so strong it felt like it was a current twisting around us, holding us together.

Edward's kissed me intensely and he pinned me against the shower wall—need taking over, ringing through me like the vibration of a bell.

Oh God.

I moaned with the thrill that shot through me with the knowledge that the need was all for _me_ and he trailed his mouth down my neck.

"Please," I pleaded.

He grabbed my hips roughly and pressed me flatter against the wall, shooting a jolt of desire through my core.

But then, he stopped abruptly and pulled his face back to look at me. When our eyes met, the whirlwind of emotion emulating from us stilled, leaving only the sound of the streaming water and our heavy breathing. He held my face as I looked back at him, watching the water drip from his nose and lips, taking in how his hair was so deep of an amber it almost seemed black as drops of water fell from the ends, and how his green eyes scorched and glowed with love and passion that was all for me. I marveled at him, this man I loved more than I ever thought possible and that he was all mine. And I exulted with the knowledge that he loved and wanted me exactly the same way.

A sexy, lopsided smirk stretched across his face as if he could read my mind.

I bit my lip and dropped my eyes as I felt myself flush with the scrutiny, but Edward quickly swept his fingers under my chin, pulling my face back up to him and pulled my lip free with his thumb.

"No. Don't you dare hide your eyes from me, love. I've gone far too long without seeing them already," he pleaded. When I complied, he smiled, satisfied and ran his hands greedily along my body making my eyes flutter shut and my head tip back.

I ground against him reflexively; needing him inside me.

Edward leaned in and kissed me, lingering his lips sensuously against mine. I went in again for a deeper kiss, needing more—always needing more—but he pulled back again.

"Let's go to bed," he murmured softly against my lips, the vibration of his words on my skin went right through me, winding inside me, making my toes curl.

"No," I breathed a whine in protest, feeling my face crumple with panic. My breathing sped wildly and my grip around him tightened as I rolled my hips, pressing them against his. "Here," I pleaded desperately trying to reach for him. "Now," my voice cracked.

"I know, love," he smiled softly. "And we will. Soon," he promised, his eyes sparkling with anticipation of it. "But right now, I want to make love to you properly, in _our_ bed," his voice was low and rough, sending shivers through me that made me agree to anything he wanted. And when he said it like that, I wanted it too. Our place, our bed…

_Ours._ Hmm…

Edward kissed the tip of my nose and released me from the wall, leaving me panting and disoriented from the sudden removal of his touch. He kept his eyes trained steadily on me as he reached to shut off the water. The stillness when it was shut off mixed with the anticipation of what was to come made the air around us crackle.

I moved first, unable to wait a second longer, eager to get to bed for a completely different reason than I'd wanted to just an hour before. I stepped out into the space just outside of the shower, staying warm from the heat lamp overhead, grabbed my towel and began hastily drying myself off.

"In a hurry to get someplace?" Edward smirked, cocking his head to the side.

"Should I not be?" I challenged, suppressing a giggle from his adorably sexy playful side.

Edward shrugged nonchalantly and began meticulously toweling himself dry ever-so-slowly.

I bit back a smile, knowing better even if his body wasn't very obviously betraying him.

Okay, I could play that game too.

I wrapped the towel around myself, secured it and walked over to the sinks, feeling Edward's eyes on me the whole time. I leaned down, opened a drawer and pulled out my hairdryer, slowly unwound the cord and plugged it in. Then I grabbed my brush and turned on the hairdryer, beginning to carefully brush through and dry my hair.

It took about two seconds until I felt Edward's strong arms wrap around me, lifting me from the ground. I yelped out in surprise and Edward began pulling me away from the counter.

I hastily flipped off the dryer and tossed it at the counter where it landed loudly and my brush clattered to the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded, his face buried in the crook of my neck, the vibration of his voice and the scrape of his stubble tickling me, causing me to burst into a fit of laughter.

"I thought there wasn't any reason to hurry," I managed between giggles, trying futilely to protect my neck.

"You really think the second I was done filming I got on the first flight home because there was no hurry to get back to you?" Edward accused with a playful laugh and lightly bit at my earlobe. And then he grabbed my sides, tickling me, making my body jerk wildly and the giggles turned into hard, gasping laughter.

I managed to answer, "No," in between breathless laughs.

Satisfied, he spun me around, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, causing me to let out a squeal. He carried me to the bed, and then tossed me onto it like I weighed nothing, making me call out in surprise. When I landed, my towel loosened and fell away exposing most of my body and when I looked up at him, meeting his triumphant gaze in the dark space, I could feel the mood change, snuffing out my laughter but leaving the buzz of desire swimming through me.

"I've been waiting for this moment ever since you agreed to move in with me, knowing when I came home it wouldn't just be mine any longer, but _ours_," he vowed, his playful eyes darkening as they raked along my body.

He reached forward, parting my legs and kneeled on the edge of the bed between them. Then his hands traveled slowly, but purposefully, from my knees up and inward until his fingers skated along my sex. My hips rolled in response and he paused there, teasing me, before moving on. He dragged his palms along my skin, heading outward along the juncture of my legs and body and then grabbed my hips, pulling them off the mattress as he bent forward, kissing each one in turn, just inside the hipbone.

My breathing hitched with each kiss.

Still holding my hips up, he then drew his lips over my stomach, planting kisses as he traveled up my body, like he was worshiping it; worshiping me. When he reached my ribs, he wrapped one arm around my hips, continuing to hold me up, and drew his other hand up and grabbed the towel, pulling it off and away from me, exposing me completely.

He hummed. "Much better," he grinned, setting me back down, gazing appreciatively at my breasts before palming them and leaning down, kissing them sensually, pulling me so close to the edge.

My back arched pushing them into him and my hips rolled, searching for him, wanting, _needing_ the connection.

When he stopped, instead of complying with my body's silent plea, I looked down finding his eyes locked on my face with intensity. And then he moved forward, slow and determined, sliding his body along mine, until he was directly over me on his elbows, lightly pressing me to the mattress, never surrendering my eyes.

My breathing shook with overpowering anticipation, feeling him lined up to me.

"I love you, Bella," he murmured brushing his nose to mine.

I reached up, running my hand against his strong, stubble-covered jaw and looked into his drug-emanating eyes and marveled, feeling the familiar jolt of electricity course through my body.

"I love you too, Edward," I said, feeling I meant it far more than words could ever do justice and pulled him down to meet my lips, needing to feel his on mine. I wasn't disappointed, Edward kissed me with such ardent enthusiasm I was gasping for air between passes, refusing to relinquish his lips for the trade.

When we finally connected, the overwhelming surge of feeling that was equal parts relief and need for even more caused both of us to call out.

He moved again, slow and purposefully, savoring in the feeling.

Oh God.

Again a little faster.

My eyes rolled back.

He rocked again, finding a tortuously sweet rhythm.

And again.

I joined him, finding his pace.

Edward reached down, hitching my leg over his arm, holding it beside him and languidly rolled his hips.

I gasped. Holy—!

Edward froze. "You okay, love?" he asked, burning with concern, loosening his arm that held my leg, holding lower.

"No, don't," I protested to his letting go, reaching out to hold his arm, bulged and hard, in place. "I'm…," I let out an unsteady breath, feeling my cheeks light on fire. "That was—. Do that again."

Edward laughed lovingly at my lack of ability to articulate and kissed me, a smile still on his lips.

"I wish I could see that blush on your gorgeous face right now," he murmured regretfully, somehow knowing I was flushing, kissing me again. And then he made a show of pulling my leg up higher, resting it on his shoulder this time—making me ever grateful for all those yoga classes I'd gone to. And then he very deliberately emphasized it with a deep roll of his hips, repeating the gloriously mind-numbing movement over and over until we both found our release.

XXXXX

I could feel the edges of my dream falling away, the details blurring and smudging, signaling me that I was waking up. But I didn't want to leave the dream filled with warm streams of water, desperate hands and, best of all, Edward.

Hmm…

But the dream continued to lose focus, becoming indistinct as I floated back to consciousness and it quickly fell from my grasp.

I moaned regretfully and attempted to replay as much of the dream that I could remember in my head, hoping it would somehow pull me back into the unconscious world, bringing back the visions of Edward and me together back into focus.

My mind halted and pulled attention when I heard a sharp intake through the nose, seemingly in reply to my moan.

I froze as my body felt the area surrounding me and my mind redirected its thought processes from the dream world to the conscious one. But before I could form any conclusions, an arm I realized was draped over me, tightened and pulled me in close.

"Hmmm," Edward's voice hummed in content. "Morning, love."

The previous night—or rather the realization that it wasn't a dream—rushed in over me. I flipped around so quickly, it startled him and he quickly pulled his top arm into the air.

"Woah," he chuckled as he laid his arm back down and I settled in facing him, taking him in.

"You're home," I marveled excitedly with a face-splitting grin and stroked his rough cheek with the palm of my hand, distracted from the light aching soreness I felt in my legs from my workout the night before.

Edward chuckled. "Indeed I am," he said. "As are _you_," he added, his green eyes dancing with satisfaction and maybe even pride in the statement.

"I am," I agreed, glowing with that knowledge. "Second thoughts about that?" I challenged teasingly.

"Not a chance," he vowed. "You?" he asked playfully narrowing his eyes.

"Not a chance," I vowed back and closed the distance between us, my hand sneaking its way down his stomach.

"Insatiable," he teased, catching me by the wrist for a moment before he released it and kissed me.

"Your fault," I smiled against his lips and rolled on top of him, the feel of him hard from just waking up greeted me between my legs.

"Right, my fault," he laughed against my lips.

"So I was thinking," I began after a minute, shifting my hips, pressing against him.

Edward laughed, rubbing his hands lightly up and down my thighs.

"Yeah? And what were you thinking, exactly, love?" he asked already knowing, his hands drifting inwards.

"I think I could use a shower," I said trying my best to sound serious, but failing completely; the smile in my voice gave me away.

"Oh really?" he asked incredulously continuing to kiss me as he slipped his fingers through my hair and slightly pushed himself against me.

"Mmmhmm," I smiled, kissing him once more, and pulled back to look at him. "I'm a little sore from going down to the gym last night," I said truthfully. I knew that the soreness would really hit me that night, but I did ache a little. "Among other things," I added as if innocently with a smirk.

"Among other things," he repeated under his breath holding back a grin.

"Anyway, I think I heard hot water is great for that," I ascertained.

"I believe you may be correct on that," he conceded, and even though he knew what I was getting at, waited for me to say it.

"Well, I thought maybe you might want to join me in our shower, but…" I trailed off shrugging nonchalantly, getting personal satisfaction when I saw his expression darken with want.

Then, before I realized what was happening, Edward grabbed me by the hips and flipped us over so he was now on top.

"Let's go," he said; the excitement in his eyes, childlike. Then he gave me a quick kiss and stood up, offering his hand to help me. And when we stepped into the shower, we picked up where my dream left off, quickly making up for lost time.

* * *

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**xo  
****TJE**


	32. Chapter 32 Settling In

**Thanks for everyone for reviewing! I hope you continue to do so, they're fabulous. And t****hanks for continuing to let me use your beta skills, MC. :)**

**Now, who's ready for some fluff? Yeah, me too.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 32: Settling In**

"You never did tell me," Edward asked after we'd gotten out of the shower that morning, rubbing a towel through his hair, dark amber from the water, "How'd that second interview go?"

My whole body tightened and froze for a second before I finished wrapping the plush towel around my midsection and secured it. I felt myself make a face.

"What? It couldn't have been that bad," he insisted.

"No, it was," I said, nodding. "Worse, actually," I added with a sigh, and then gave him a rundown of my interview with Liam.

"Oh baby," Edward said and enveloped me in his arms, my cheek resting on his bare, damp chest. I held him back, feeling a tears threaten; the ecstasy that had just passed, replaced by fear of losing something I so badly wanted. "If Siobhan was so impressed with you that she immediately called you after your interview with her to have you see her boss, I don't think you should panic yet. She wouldn't have done that if she hadn't seen for herself how great you are."

I nodded against his chest, but the action was filled with doubt. Liam was right, I was lacking some key components to enhance my teaching license; things I should have had—_would_ have had if I'd not given it up for James.

"Besides, he's a tosser if he can't see how wonderful you are and we'll just find someone who can," he added kissing the top of my head.

"A tosser?" I asked pulling my cheek from his chest, amusement effectively chasing my fears and frustrations. I looked up at him, biting my lip to hold back a giggle. It was such an odd term. Edward's English was very Americanized considering he'd spent a few year stint as a teenager "across the pond". But every once and a while he'd throw in an odd term and his ever-so-light accent would strengthen—like it had the night in New York where he was agitated and kept using the term 'lift' instead of elevator. Admittedly, I found it completely sexy when it happened.

Edward's eyebrows creased together and a reserved smirk played on his lips in confused amusement. "What's wrong with 'tosser'?" he asked cocking his head . "Would you have preferred another adjective? Jerk? Asshole?... Wanker, perhaps?"

"No," I said, a giggle escaping from a conjunction of both the term 'wanker' and the accent that grew thicker when he'd said it. "You're right. Tosser's perfect," I conceded, putting my hands on his cheeks, feeling the hard line of his jaw, and pulled him in for a kiss. "Say it again," I pleaded, giggling against his lips.

"Isabella Marie Swan, are you laughing at me?" he demanded pulling his face back to look at me sternly but the effect was lost because he was unsuccessfully trying to hold back his own laughter.

"I would never think of it," I swore, my eyes wide, feigning innocence.

"Lies, love. Pure lies." He shook his head at me in mock disappointment and then kissed me.

XXXXX

With Edward home, we began settling in to life together; learning one another's habits and routines, and spending time getting to know one another better. It was only later that first day together though, as Edward went to work on some songs, that I found I enjoyed watching him as he went through his writing process the most.

Well. Second most.

It was fascinating to me; watching him as he took a phrase, a bar of melody that popped into his head, or a beat and turned it into something more. I found that, while he rarely did use a guitar pick to play an instrument, he constantly fiddled with them, seeming completely unaware that he was doing it most of the time. But more so, the picks appeared oddly instrumental to him in his songwriting process.

Edward wandered through the house, guitar pick in hand, mindlessly tapping the rhythm or melody on any and every surface as he worked out a song out in his head. He'd hum along to the beat, setting one pick down one place, stopping to do something, and picking another up somewhere else in the house making me smile brightly, loving him all the more. But even more, it was incredibly sexy watching him and I often found I would be blatantly staring at him instead of doing whatever I'd been in the middle of. I tried to not disturb him; afraid to interrupt his creative flow process, but I simply couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I'd start doing something while he worked, but then get distracted by his mesmerizing movements. Usually he'd catch me, feeling my eyes on him. He'd look up, run his fingers through his hair, and give me that smile of his that warmed me from the inside out and had me fighting my urge to climb on top of him right then.

My phone buzzed with an incoming text, pulling me from my lascivious train of thought.

My new phone. Sigh.

I picked it up from the table next to the oversized chair I was sitting in—it was intimidatingly technical. There was just so _much_ it could do compared to the simple one I'd had before and I had no idea what to do with it. I had tried to protest when he'd given it to me that first morning back, but Edward convinced me to accept it when he'd told me that if I had it, we could video chat whenever we had to be apart. The feeling of being apart was so fresh in my memory, the idea of being able to _see _him while he was away had me readily agreeing to the exorbitant gift. Next thing I knew, Edward was transferring my number to his plan and I had a new phone that was more like a computer; Edward wearing that triumphant smile I couldn't help but find endearing as he spoke on the phone to the agent. I wanted to be angry because I felt hoodwinked into him paying for my monthly bill on top of a new phone, but looking at him, practically glowing with my consent, all I wanted to do was to rip his clothes off.

It was so frustrating being unable to be mad at him.

I opened the text, amused at its conversation bubbles:

**Jess:** R U really coming home next weekend?  
**Me:** That's the plan.  
**Jess:** Just U or is Edward coming too?

I smiled both at the fact she was starting to call Edward by his real name—most of the time anyway—and the fact she was unsuccessfully trying to be sly about ferretting information about him from me.

**Me:** Edward too. :)

I could just about see her face splitting grin and celebration dance.

**Jess:** Yay! :D Thx for at least warning me this time. :( U know, I still can't wrap my head around that – my very own sister is living with Anthony Cullen. That's so crazy.  
**Me:** I'm sure you will eventually. I'm quickly settling into the reality that I'm living with Edward.  
**Jess: **Hey, am I ever going to get to see his place?  
**Me:** Our place. And yes, I'm sure you'll see it sometime, but with the pregnancy I'm guessing it will be a while before you can visit.

I couldn't help but smile at my correction because it was becoming automatic now; thinking of this place as mine too.

**Jess:** Stupid doctor's orders. :( I'm sure I'd be fine. It's just a short flight.  
**Me:** Stupid or not, you need to listen to them. If they say no flying, then no flying.  
**Jess:** Whatever. They r only trying 2 scare me by throwing terms like 'high risk' around. The only actual thing at high risk w/ this pregnancy is the irrecoverable loss of my waistline.  
**Me: **LOL – We'll see you next weekend.

I laughed setting the phone in my lap and picked up the book I'd been, unsuccessfully, trying to read in the comfy oversized chair I favored since moving in. The chair that cemented its spot as my favorite place to sit in the house when Edward came home and I realized it afforded me a direct view into the music room, allowing me to watch the enchanting creature Edward was when he worked on his music. However, the view the chair offered did mean that whenever I tried to get into a book, my eye kept wandering off the page and over to the music room where Edward was working—it'd never taken me so long to get through a chapter before in my life. But before I could finally find a way to focus on the story—or find myself distracted again by Edward—my phone buzzed with another text. I picked up my phone again, expecting it to be from Jess.

It was from Jake.

**Jacob:** Turn into a Hollywood snob yet?

I smiled, happy to see his humor return. He had finally returned my prior text letting him know I'd landed safely in LA hours later, but it was just a one word reply of, "good." It warmed me seeing not only an unprompted text from my big brother but one containing something actually resembling humor.

**Me:** I'm trying to stay grounded, but it's tough in a place like this. It's already getting hard to remember all the little people I knew, esp. when they all but stopped talking to me since I arrived.  
**Jacob:** Not funny.  
**Me:** Aw, come on Chief. I thought it was hilarious. You're telling me you didn't find it even a little funny?  
**Jacob:** Maybe. A very little.  
**Me:** Thought so. :P  
**Jacob:** You doing alright out there? Really? You know you can always come back home. You can stay with Leah and me if you need a place to crash for a while.  
**Me:** I'm great. Outside of all the extravagances I don't think I could ever get used to, this place already feels like my home now - especially now that Edward's back from filming.  
**Jacob:** So I take it you two are good.  
**Me:** We're great.

I could feel his skepticism of my reply in the seconds after I hit send and I wished I could erase it for him. Maybe after some time Jake would believe Edward isn't the kind of guy that he's worried he is.

**Jacob:** Are you still planning to come back soon to visit?  
**Me:** Yep. We'll see you next weekend & a few weeks after that too b/c Edward is insisting on bringing me to see you guys for my birthday. You'll see me so much you'll be sick of me.  
**Jacob:** Nah, it'll be good to see you, even if you have turned into an actual spoiled brat. I just had to make sure you were alright.  
**Me:** I'm sure you'll set me in my place if I have turned snob. ;) And I'm better than alright. I've never been better or happier. But I do miss you, Chief.

Being with Edward felt better and more right than anything had in my entire life, I was fantastic. I just wished that Jacob could see that. I understood his concern, but I knew it was unwarranted. I hoped that seeing Edward and me together would help. Even just the way Edward looked at me, told me so much. I hoped that maybe Jake would see it too and let go of his lingering doubts about what had happened in Atlanta.

**Jacob:** Yeah, I miss you too Bells. Oh, and call Mom before she drives Dad and me up the wall with her worrying. I think if you talk to her more often it'll help.  
**Me:** lol - K. I'll call her tonight.

I set my phone down and glanced over at Edward who was talking on the phone with someone—sitting in his chair, guitar still in his lap. He was laughing and talking animatedly with whomever was on the other end. A moment later Edward hung up the phone, reached past the guitar in his lap, leaning over the journal I'd gotten him for his birthday—already heavily utilized and set the phone down. Then he picked up his guitar pick and placed it between his fingers and tapped out a beat with it on the table he sat in front of as he studied the paper filled with lyrics and notes, nodding, ever-so-subtly, along to the music in his head. Then, he pushed the guitar pick between his lips, picked up his pencil, and wrote down an addition or amendment before he positioned the guitar in his lap and played it out—molding out a song. Once he worked out the notes, he began to hum words around the guitar pic in his mouth, his voice still beautiful, even wordless.

I smiled watching the stunning creature before me, letting out a breath of a laugh at how completely adorable and mind-blowingly sexy he was at the same time with that pick trapped between his teeth.

Then his eyes caught mine—sensing me watching him—holding me there, sending a thrill through me just as strong as the first time, but I was prepared for the feeling now.

"Entertaining, am I?" Edward challenged, pulling the guitar pick from between his lips and smirked. Then he quickly scribbled something else in his journal and met my eyes again.

"I think engrossing would be more accurate," I corrected with a smirk. "But yes, entertaining," I conceded, feeling my face flush as I kept my eyes locked in his. The flush had nothing to do with embarrassment any longer, and everything with how this man made me feel. "Why? Is my watching you distracting?" I asked, hoping it wasn't.

I watched a playful smile tug at the corners of his lips and his eyes danced with amusement as he stared back at me. Then, after a moment, his smile faded slightly. He pulled the guitar from his lap, set the pick and pencil down, got up and walked over to me, his eyes darker as he took me in. I shoved the phone, book and blanket to the floor, eager to exchange them for him.

"Yes, you're very distracting," he said as he knelt on the cushion, one knee on either side of my inner leg, and leaned over me. Looking up at him, I opened my mouth to apologize but he continued before I could. "I keep hoping I play something that gets you to react the way you had in New York. It's driving me mad because I want you to and you haven't yet. It's very frustrating. I must need to improve my writing, but I don't know what it is I need to change." His face was serious, but I could see a hint of humor in his eyes.

I felt myself blush deeply with a light twinge of chagrin, remembering how I'd thrown myself at him after practically just meeting him.

Edward pulled his fingers down my burning cheeks. "You really are especially beautiful when you're blushing," he marveled licking his lips. "But I don't know why that mention embarrasses you."

"I'm not sure exactly either," I admitted. "Maybe because it was something far bolder than I'd ever acted before," I confessed. "I still have a hard time believing I did something like that, much less with someone I'd just met."

Edward chuckled. "So that was that the flip of your switch from sweet and innocent to insatiable? The start of the first song you inspired for me?"

"No." I shook my head, considering it, trying to pinpoint when it was. "I think that 'switch' happened the first time your eyes locked with mine at _The Late Show_. I've been hopelessly addicted to you and what you do to me ever since and had a hard time holding myself back but you were so cryptic and mercurial, it fed my self-doubt. But then, sitting there in your hotel room, listening to you play, that was just the tipping point where I couldn't control myself any longer despite how hard you were to read that I couldn't figure out what you really thought of me."

I felt my face light on fire realizing I'd actually just admitted all that.

Maybe the drug Edward's eyes emitted contained some sort of truth serum because it was looking into them that always made me confess more than I'd meant to.

Edward stared down on me, his expression was unfathomable, and then he kissed me hungrily, sending the familiar, all-consuming current of want scorching through me.

"I'm so sorry, love," he murmured.

"For what?" I was lost, still twisting in the passion that coiled through me. My head spun trying to catch up.

"For my behavior in New York," he elaborated. "No wonder you didn't believe me when I told you I wanted to see you again. I was trying—and failing miserably—to not fall for you because I'm painfully aware my line of work destroys relationships. I didn't want to do that to you."

"Do what to me?"

"Potentially bring you into a relationship that was destined for failure before it began," he said, his eyes lined with sadness.

"You don't think we have even a chance to make it?" I asked, a sharp pain hitting my chest and I slumped down into the chair.

"I honestly didn't think it was even possible," he admitted sadly shaking his head as he slipped his hand along my face and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. "But with you? Everything changed. With you, love, I don't think _failure_ is even possible," he confessed, marveling at me.

My eyes caught his in surprise in the change in direction his confession turned. In that second, I felt the pain in my chest turn into a soaring leap and my heart began to race.

I didn't even have to ask him to confirm his sentiment; I could see it in his eyes that he really believed it.

"I know what you mean," I nodded. "I feel the same way." The happiness running through his eyes with my words made my heart soar.

I pulled him down to me, our kisses passionate with the confession of faith in our relationship we'd both made; the air thick with our emotion. It was only moments later I pushed against Edward's leg, mine begging to be freed so I could have him settled between my mine, where I needed him to be. When I let out a frustrated whine because he didn't immediately move it out of the way for me, Edward chuckled, breaking the kiss.

"You're always so insatiable," he accused as he pulled back slightly, locking his green eyes in mine for a moment. His eyes were playful and full of love and adoration. Then he closed the distance, kissing me again with a grin still across his lips.

"Well your self-control is always so irritating," I retorted petulantly against his smile, trying futilely to hold back a grin myself—his was so contagious.

Edward chuckled again. "No love. Actually, when it comes to you, my control is all but nonexistent," he corrected and kissed me again, sliding his hand around my waist, pulling my body flush up against him soliciting a moaning sigh I couldn't help escape my lips.

"I don't believe that," I teased between kisses, feeling a thrill roll through me, knowing he was being truthful.

"That's because you, my love, are completely insatiable," he smirked, commanding hold of my eyes again as if daring me to dispute it. "But believe me. It's true—to the point of being unsettling."

"Well, you have no one to blame for my insatiability but yourself," I said feigning a haughty air, as I reached down, hooking my fingers inside the waist of his jeans, sliding them across his skin and reached for the button on his jeans.

"And I love that with every piece of me," he admitted unabashedly, tightening his hold around my waist and then began kissing my neck. "Even if I've created a monster," he added snickering against my skin.

"Hey!" I protested, abandoning his jeans, pushing his shoulder—making him look at me—my eyes narrowing and lips set pursed together, trying very hard to be mad at him and failing miserably.

"A very sexy monster," he amended, his voice dipping seductively. His eyes flashed with want, and then he slipped his outer leg between mine and pressed his hips to mine.

My breathing sped and I felt my body flame, part of me soaring wildly at the compliment, the other still unsure what to do with it. I pulled my bottom lip in, biting it, finding that the commendation made me feel uneasy—not quite disbelieving, as I knew Edward wasn't lying, but not able to really believe either.

I found myself annoyed that that was the case. But it was just still a very new thing to me.

Edward pulled the back of his fingers down the side of my cheeks and then released my lip with his thumb.

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes" he murmured, his fingers stroking my face. "So you knew what I see when I look at you," he added as he brushed a stray hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear. "Not just how beautiful you look, but how beautiful you are. All of you."

My breathing hitched.

"No baby, I think you're doing a pretty good job at painting the picture for me," I whispered back seriously, smiling softly. "I'm just not… used to it yet."

"Well, that's a new goal then," he grinned leaning down, "to get you used to hearing how wonderful you are…" Edward ran his lips along my jaw to my ear.

Mmm. My eyes closed.

"How beautiful you are…" He kissed my neck all the way down to my shoulder.

Oh God.

"And how sexy you are," he whispered roughly as he dragged his teeth back up the path on my neck he'd just kissed.

"Sounds like a plan," I laughed shakily, breathless from his ministrations. As the laugh faded I turned my face to him and added, "I only hope that I'm doing the same for you." I eyed him knowingly. "I don't think you quite realize how wonderful you are yourself—the _real_ you." Because I really didn't think he did.

The "Anthony" persona by far and large was on the receiving end of the majority of compliments; _Edward_ got shuffled back, unnoticed. While I knew this was what Edward wanted, I suspected that maybe it'd worn on his psyche more than he realized, and I wanted to make sure he knew how great _he_ was.

"You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Edward said his voice sounding serious but then he flashed his crooked smile. "I'm not really feeling the love over here." And then he wrapped one arm around my waist, lifted me up against him, and flipped us over so I was on top, straddling him.

I squealed out in surprise.

"So get going on that," he instructed in a playfully cocky manner and lightly swatted my butt causing me to yelp again, making us both laugh as he pulled me in for a kiss.

So I, very gladly, did.

XXXX

"Hi Alice. Jasper," I greeted, answering the door Friday night.

Jasper nodded and gave me a soft but authoritative feeling Southern "hello". He was looking sharp dressed in a grey suit. Alice went in for an enthusiastic hug, wearing an elegant, but fun, strapless, light-yellow chiffon drape dress that hung just above her knees. In her hands she held a gold clutch that sparkled nearly as much as her personality and in the other, a garment bag.

Alice had stopped over earlier, insisting on getting us out of the house and go out to dinner with her and Jasper. When we tried to object—not quite ready to share one another with anyone else yet—she flashed Edward the biggest doe eyes I'd ever seen. She argued, saying it wasn't fair because she wanted to see me too, and besides he really needed to show me some of the city I was now living in. And then she added, with a scowl, that he couldn't hold me hostage in the house and have me all to himself forever. What Alice must not have yet understood about me was that I was quite content to be hold up in the house, even if it wasn't because I was happy to spend twenty-four hours a day wrapped up around Edward. I liked the quiet a home provided; I liked the solitude, listening to music, reading books. I wasn't much of a social bug; I could have taken social interaction or left it.

But Alice was determined. And while I wasn't too excited about the interruption of Edward and my catch-up time, I was looking forward to seeing Alice and, admittedly, experiencing a bit of this big city I'd seen very little of in my short habitation of it.

"I just finished it," she said excitedly, releasing me with a bounce and gestured toward the garment bag, making my head spin.

She finished what?

Wait. Another dress? I felt my eyes pop wide.

Alice had said not to worry about what to wear, that she would take care of it. I'd tried to protest, but I found arguing with Alice was useless. I'd resigned myself to the fact that Alice was going to supply yet another dress for me to wear, even if I didn't like it because I knew she'd get me one that probably cost more than my last paycheck, but another she _made_ for me? I'd found out that any dress by _MaryAlice_, much less a one-of-a-kind—like the one she made for me to wear at the Premiere—was at least hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.

"Alice—," I began to protest.

"I can't _wait _to see it on you," she interrupted. "And I have something else for you too," she sang looking like she wanted to bounce around the room. Then she turned to Jasper, whom I just realized was holding a bag himself, and took it from him. "But that's for later," she corrected as if reminding herself to hold off on whatever mention she'd begun to make. "Come on," she said, tugging me towards Edward and my bedroom. "You're going to love it!"

Edward chuckled from the kitchen, I looked back at him as I was drug to the bedroom and saw him shrug indulgently as if to say "Alice will be Alice" and pulled his fingers through his hair. So I followed Alice as she lithely crossed the house and entered the bedroom, hearing Edward offering Jasper a drink as she shut the door behind us.

The next thing I knew, Alice was opening the bedroom door, as if showcasing me to Edward and Jasper as I stepped through, made-up and in a green dress she'd made for me. It was crafted out of a dark green fabric with overlapping curvy shapes in a lighter green color—taking up more of the dress than the dark. The pattern made a haphazard design that somehow felt more romantic than chaotic—and I'd balked at Alice when she told me that she not only designed the style of the dress but the fabric pattern as well. The dress had a wide neckline that lightly curved along the collarbone. The edges of the dress were lined with a rich, dark green ribbon matching the dark color of the fabric. It hugged my body perfectly and, just like the other dress she'd made for me, it was like she'd had a mold of my body to work with when she'd made it. The short skirt of the dress puffed out flirtingly in curvy folds from the, surprisingly soft, dark green crinoline layered underneath, that hung a couple inches lower than the hem of the skirt's fabric that still only dropped to about mid-thigh. The shoes—also supplied by Alice—completed the outfit. Their exaggeratingly high heels made me feel tall and the thick strap of the shoe that slung around my ankle somehow looked both industrious and extremely feminine at the same time.

I felt beautiful in it.

But then my eyes met Edward's and I didn't feel only beautiful, I felt sexy.

Like _sexpot _sexy.

That was new.

There was a deep satisfaction that rolled through me as I watched his eyes pop wide and his mouth drop open, a bit of beer escaping as he tried to recover mid-drink in the process.

I couldn't help but giggle.

"You're welcome," Alice sang to her brother, wearing a knowing grin, as she walked past him to stand aside her husband.

Edward shook his head slowly. Then he set down the beer on the counter and strode towards me, closing the distance, his eyes—dark and carnal—trained in on me.

"How about we _not_ go out tonight," Edward growled into my ear when he reached my side.

My eyes fluttered closed and my breath hitched. His suggestion hit me hard. Right. There. And I felt myself nodding in concession.

"No," Alice piped in, popping the private bubble of lust we'd shrouded around ourselves. "We're going out," she said firmly; end of discussion.

I sighed lightly.

"Later," I promised looking at him, licking my lips, my eyes intently locked in his as I dragged my fingers along the underside of his jaw hungrily. It was everything I had to not pull him into our bedroom and close the door to everything and everyone but the two of us, but somehow I managed to contain myself and instead turned to follow Alice and Jasper out of the house.

On the way to the restaurant Alice prattled on about all the different places Edward should take me or places she promised to take me herself, but honestly I couldn't say what any of them were. I was too distracted with the way Edward looked in his charcoal suit and the delicious way he looked at me that had me fervently wishing we were heading to the house instead of away from it because I wasn't hungry any longer.

Well. Not for food.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Edward groaned and I craned my head to see what for.

Paparazzi. My stomach tightened sickly.

Edward cursed under his breath and then turned to me, "Remember love, just keep walking and try not to look at them or you'll be blinded by the flashes, okay?"

I took a breath and nodded with a smile, confident. I was fine. I could do this. This was going to be a regular part of my life with Edward, and I was going to have to learn to deal with it.

"They're almost certainly going to ask about us since we're here together," he continued, eyeing me carefully. When I didn't react the way he'd been expecting, he added, "And they're going to likely prod you about why, because of what it looked like happened between Tanya and me."

My smile faltered and Edward nodded. I didn't want to think about that.

"It'll only be but a few seconds until we're inside. Just tune it all out, don't let any of it get to you. They can think whatever they want—," Edward continued taking my hand, squeezing it gently and then linking our fingers.

"And they will," Alice chimed in an irritated tone and rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't matter, as long as _we_ know what's really going on with us," Edward said, turning my attention back to him. "Right?" he asked, his eyes pleading.

I took a deep but shaky breath, feeling a little less confident. But my eyes locked in his gaze, and then nodded my assent and I could see Edward relax slightly.

He opened the car door and it seemed as soon as he stepped one foot outside the limo, they began to fling questions at him; one person's question overlapping the other's and then flashes began to flicker.

I cringed. Edward was right; their questions were almost all angled at the assumed break-up with me, his seemingly flagrant rendezvous with Tanya and if he and Tanya were officially back together.

Edward turned back toward me, ignoring the paparazzi, offering his hand to help me out of the car. I saw his jaw clench and anger brewing in his eyes from the line of questions. It was really upsetting him regarding what was assumed had happened, and he was barely biting back what he wanted to retort, but knew it was best to say nothing.

Locking eyes with Edward, I gave him a reassuring smile—hoping it didn't betray my nerves—and winked at him. Edward's tense expression softened slightly, and an amused smile played at his lips. I could have been mistaken, but it looked like he breathed a chuckle, and then winked back.

When I stepped out of the car, there was this beat of stunned silence. It was true, I could have imagined it—I knew my imagination did have a tendency to be on the widely inventive side—but it felt very real. And then the questions came so quickly I couldn't process them much less would I have been able to answer any of them, even if I had wanted to.

Thankfully, the door was only a few steps from the car and we were greeted by several serious but pleasantly smiling uniformed men who held the door for us. The soft buzz of the patron's conversations took over my senses when the doors closed behind us. It was such a drastic difference to the barrage of questions flung at Edward and me a second before, the comparatively quiet sound felt deafeningly loud.

Edward squeezed my hand.

The concierge immediately greeted "Anthony", and escorted us to the table. Edward let go of my hand, placing his on the small of my back as we walked in that familiar gesture that always felt comfortingly protective.

I couldn't help but smile at how loved and cherished such a simple gesture made me feel.

As we made the way to our table, I looked around the restaurant that glowed in soft, low light. Music lulled quietly in the background, mingling with the sounds of conversations, clinking silverware, glasses and plates. The dark, muted colors mixed with the deep cherry stained wood made for a romantic ambience, enhanced with realizing nearly all the tables were set to seat two and four.

I noticed several conversations pause and heads turn, noticing Edward, though it wasn't as many as I would have assumed. But then, I figured, this was LA, the place Edward lived, I was sure it wasn't the first time many of the people in this elite restaurant had seen him in person.

I paused uncertainly when the host moved to pull out a chair for me at a table set for six.

Confused, I glanced at Edward, but he was looking at Alice.

Alice simply lifted her shoulders and shrugged slightly with an expression that told us she was up to something, but wasn't going to say what it was. She then sat down in the chair being held out for her without any word of explanation.

"Who's joining us, Alice?" Edward pressed; half curiosity, half older brother command as he sat down. He was handed a menu, but he didn't look away from his sister as he took it.

Alice pretended she hadn't heard him, studying the menu diligently as if there would be a quiz on it later in the evening.

"Alice," Edward prompted, lightly tugging on the corner of her menu.

"Hmm?" she asked looking up, wearing an innocent expression as if she'd not heard him before.

"Who are the other two seats for?" he asked again.

"I don't know, Anthony," Alice lied—only narrowly better than Edward—but my mind dropped that thought quickly and on to one more pressing. Anthony?

Wait. What?

It took me an embarrassing second to catch up. We were in public. Alice's transition from calling her brother Edward to Anthony was seamless and it, more importantly, reminded me to do the same.

"They must have mixed up the reservation," she concluded simply.

Jasper silently chuckled, smirking into his menu.

"You are a rotten liar," Edward laughed indulgently at his sister who smiled widely back at him. He didn't have the opportunity to press further in that moment because we were being prompted for our drink orders.

We had just received our drinks when I heard a very familiar voice in my ear. "Holy shit Bell, I hardly recognized you!"

Rose!

My head whipped around and was greeted by the sight of Rosalie in a dark blue, bandage dress, looking as stunning as ever. I practically jumped out of my chair and flung my arms around my best friend.

"Don't tell me you've finally taken to dresses just as soon as you moved away from me," she continued with a laugh, hugging me back.

"They have grown on me some," I blushed, remembering the benefits to them in the limo ride to the Premiere, something that didn't go unnoticed by Rose. "But no. Alice has taken the task of joining your efforts with dresses and shopping," I said gesturing to Alice which prompted introductions as Rosalie hadn't yet met Jasper and Alice.

"Hey there Spinner," Emmett grinned and swooped me into his arms for a hug, nearly pulling me off the ground.

"Hey Emmett," I laughed.

"So you know," he said in my ear, his voice turning serious, not yet releasing me from his hold, "Ed wouldn't _ever_ do anything behind your back."

"I know," I told him, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I guess you do," he smiled at me, looking proud, "you're still here," he said winking at me.

I nodded.

"I knew you were a good one, spinner girl," he said kissing me on the cheek.

I laughed and we all settled into our chairs, Rosalie next to my vacant side.

"So Rose, what are you doing here?"

"It's good to see you too Bell," she snorted.

I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes and then pushed her arm lightly, making not just Rose, but everyone at the table, laugh.

"She's using me for the free flight to see you," Emmett piped in.

"Nah," Rose quickly replied, "I thought you knew that I'm using you purely for the hot sex. The trip to get to see Bell was just a nice bonus." She deadpanned.

Emmett, Edward and I erupted in laughter. Jasper tried to stifle his laughter, tipping his head to the side, shielding his face with his fist. Alice's eyes drew wide in shock for a beat, not used to Rosalie's personality, and then covered her mouth with her napkin, lightly blushing as she laughed into it.

"Yeah, okay, that makes sense," Emmett said, nodding, acting as if he was piecing it together in his head. "I'm glad we got that squared away," he added, putting his arm on the back of her chair.

Rosalie smiled playfully at him and then turned to me, "It's Royce's weekend to have Henry and Emmett asked me about spending it here with him," she shrugged nonchalantly.

Emmett shook his head at Rose's explanation, leaned in and stage whispered, "Rosie can't stand you being this far away from her—worried if you're okay. I barely suggested it and she was ready to jump on that plane."

"Shut up," Rose said, flashing the, "you're in trouble" look at him and then rolled her eyes. "He exaggerates," she explained petulantly.

The conversation flowed easily through the meal. Rosalie and Alice seemed to hit it off, finding their common love of fashion and shopping as a solid base. They quickly arranged for the three of us to go shopping the next day. Edward squeezed my leg his hand was resting on when shopping was the determined activity for the three of us to do, knowing my lack of enthusiasm for it. But I didn't mind so much given my company, eager to spend some time with Rose—and as long as they didn't force me to try on a bunch of things. I seemed to have minded the plan significantly less than Emmett did who looked positively deflated, finding out that he didn't get to keep Rosalie for himself the entire day. Edward quickly suggested they and Jasper get together and do something while we were out, succeeding in lightening Emmett's spirits slightly.

It was a great night with a fantastic surprise of getting to see Rosalie, especially since I could see the glowing possibility of my two worlds melding together in the best way I could have imagined. But by the end of it, I was ready to have Edward to myself again, even if I was so exhausted it was likely we'd just simply curl up together and fall asleep because all that really mattered was that he would be there with me.

* * *

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**xo -TJE**


	33. Chapter 33 Together

**Apologies for the delay. Reasons are plenty but what matters is it's here now.**

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**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 33: Together**

The next several months felt like they flew by with Edward and me wrapped up in our own little blissful existence together; getting to know one another better, getting closer. Before I knew it, it was December and I was flying with Edward to New York for the Premiere of _Strange Days_ and for him to do some interviews he had scheduled. Oddly enough, one of the interviews he had set up was for _The Late Show._

I sat there, next to Edward, still not used to being in first class—even with all the flying we'd done in the last few months—thinking how amazing the last six months had been since I'd met him, with what had happened and changed, and how great things had been since I moved to LA to be with him.

Siobhan did end up hiring me at the teaching agency. She had laughed at my enthusiasm with the news, since all she was offering was to have me on their "on-call" list for substituting or filling in when they were in a pinch on set. She'd told me all it would entail for now was a few, sporadic, short-notice hours, explaining I would be at the bottom of the list to be called, as if reminding me my exuberance was too much for what she was offering. She said since I didn't have much experience it was lucky for me I'd been recommended so highly or she wouldn't have been able to offer even this. But I was thrilled and determined to prove I was a great teacher. Not only did it mean I had my foot in the door and it would help give me experience I lacked and needed, it meant I was going to actually have a job in teaching. Besides, I didn't have any problem starting from the bottom and working my way up, earning each step on my own and working towards filling the gaps and soft-spots in my resume. In fact, in some way, I almost preferred it; there was something to be said about the satisfaction of earning something outright.

I quickly shared the news with Rosalie and Jake, and Edward, who surprised me with a new car in congratulations.

Seriously, who did that sort of thing?

I'd tried to decline the gift but he made very good points that were hard to argue with regardless of my rebuttals. He'd said he was going to need his car for a number of press interviews that would soon be starting up, and the guys from Rules of Caius were due to be in the city to work with him on his songs for the next album and insisted that if I got called in to work, I was going to need my own car to get around in. I made him think I was caving when I conceded he had a point, but I followed it up with telling him I would just go pick up my Honda from Forks, a vehicle I already owned outright and worked just fine. I thought I'd had him at that, but Edward didn't fight fair. He knew when it came to him my willpower vanished and before I knew what was happening, he persuaded me to at least take it for a test drive and I found myself accepting the little Audi Coupe.

Damn him and that adorably conquering, boyish smile of his.

Siobhan had been right though, the hours weren't much—and had yet to prove Edward's argument valid about the car he'd bought me. I very much enjoyed my job, even when I found that not all the child actors were as fabulous as Seth, or that dealing with their hard-to-take parents would be such a large part of the job. It wasn't long, though, and Siobhan was able to begin getting me onto the substitution list at some of the private schools many of the child actors attended when they weren't filming, so my hours were increasing. Siobhan told me it was because I was proving I was every bit as good as she was told I was from my references. It was a compliment that had me floating on a high and boosted my confidence immensely… I had come a long way, and was proud of myself because I'd gotten this promotion of sorts on my own merit.

In between my sparse days teaching, Edward's interviews and his days in the music studio—which was pretty fun for me to get to see—we spent a lot of time in the air. Mostly, it was flying back and forth from LA to Washington to visit our families, but there were several promotional commitments Edward had agreed to for _Strange Days_ that allowed me to see several cities, including Chicago, where Edward took the opportunity to show me the house he lived in during his early childhood.

"_Edward?" I asked as we sat in the warmth of the idling car. The street was lined with dried, snow-dusted leaves that fluttered along the curbs in front of the cheerful light yellow house on a grey November morning._

"_Yes?" he asked, looking away from the comparatively modest, but pristine, home of his youth and over to me._

"_I was wondering, with such very famous kids, how does your dad find himself able to practice medicine outside of Hollywood?" I asked a question I'd been meaning to for some time._

"_How do you mean?"_

"_I mean, I'd think every female in all of Washington would be clogging up the hospital he works in, rendering him unable to work."_

"_Funny thing, that," Edward said, running his hands through his hair. "He's completely disowned his children at work and denies any relation to us at all."_

_I burst out in a loud laugh, surprised by his retort and the petulance in which he said it as if he was hurt by the fact—though I could tell he was lying. I was grateful I hadn't just taken a sip of my coffee I had been bringing up to my lips._

"_Don't laugh," he said looking wounded and sounding serious. "It's terrible really that he would deny even knowing his own children. My mother too," he continued, shaking his head in disgust. "Even she denies us. She decided to start going by Platt, her maiden name, at work, just to stop the questions."_

_I'd become overcome with giggles and couldn't stop._

"_What?" He asked, sounding offended. "How would you like it if your father denied claim to you at his place of work? Or your mother? It's quite the travesty, Bella, and nothing to laugh about," he continued, playing on my laughter, and then, unable to hold it back any longer, he broke out laughing too._

_I wiped tears from my eyes from laughing so hard._

"_No," Edward continued, smiling, tipping his head back onto the car's headrest, when our laughter began to fade, "it's a necessity really that they both claim no relation at their respective work, if asked." He looked over at me. "Obviously you can understand why. Of course, if you do enough digging you could figure it out, and occasionally the hospital gets bothered, but for the most part their denial of their offspring seems to have evaded most issues."_

"_You and your family with names," I marveled._

"_How do you mean?"_

"_You going by Anthony. Alice's real name is Mary Alice. Your mother goes by her maiden name. You pretend to be someone else publicly," I ticked off, laughing._

"_What about Em?" Edward pointed out._

"_The only honest one in the group," I teased._

"_Including you."_

"_What do you mean, 'including me'?" I asked affronted._

"_I mean you're not one to talk, _Isabella_," he pointed out._

_I opened my mouth to argue that a nickname wasn't the same, but really, how different was that to someone who went by their middle name like Edward and Alice did? So instead I made a face at him._

"_It just shows you fit into the family perfectly," Edward laughed endearingly at my inability to dispute his point, sat up and put the car in gear and pulled it from the curb, leaving me in stunned silence from the thrill in my chest that came from him saying things like that. It was true that Edward's family made me feel like I fit into it, but the thought of being an actual part of it was an idea I liked far too much for my own good._

My family in regards to Edward, however, was not nearly so welcoming of him. That first time back home with Edward to see _my_ family had proven how resistant they were to let Edward fit into a part of theirs.

While I knew their uncomfortable and embarrassing behavior was really just their way of showing they cared about me, I just wished they would have shown they cared by supporting me and giving Edward the benefit of doubt on what had happened in Atlanta. And I knew they were still reluctant to believe Edward had my best intensions at heart; taking me to LA with him to live, throwing me into the Hollywood limelight with the Tanya drama, so everyone was stilted toward Edward. The worst were Jake and my dad who were arctic cold; obviously still not convinced that he hadn't cheated on me.

My mom, Jess and Leah all seemed to warm up to him after a few minutes in Edward's company—Jess leading the way of de-thawing. But that was mostly because she was unable to be anything less than gushing longer than thirty seconds in Edward's company—and quickly found reasons to be near him all night.

Well, technically Riley truly lead the way in warmth towards Edward since he ran—in his awkward, toddling run—up to him the moment he saw him walk through the door. He demanded Edward pick him "Uppy!" and excitedly offered his fistful of Cheerios to share. But Riley wasn't privy to the whole Atlanta debacle, so in his world, nothing had changed from the last time he'd seen Edward where they'd bonded over his favorite cereal.

As far as the "aware" members of my family, though, they quickly shed their stiffness to Edward because it was obvious just watching us how deeply he cared for me—pointed out to me more than once by my female family members—and that chased away doubt of what he'd said happened in Atlanta.

That was the same thing Rose had told me during our shopping trip with Alice in LA, anyway. I'd told her I was nervous about going home the following weekend, knowing they didn't completely believe him about Tanya. She'd assured me it'd been obvious to her almost immediately when she and Emmett met us for dinner. The way Edward looked at me proved to her there was no question of there being anyone else, adding it wasn't just the eyefuck we still constantly gave one another—which made me blush profusely given Alice was with us. She'd said that anyone watching the two of us together would be hard-pressed to think otherwise.

Rose had proved right when it came to the female members of my family, but what really irritated me was that Jake and Dad—and Mike, though his behavior had been closer to sulking—continued to be incorrigibly rude to him in a way that was completely uncalled for no matter how resistant they were to believing Edward was faithful to me. It wasn't long until I'd had quite enough of their behavior and finally told the pair of them to knock it off because the way they were acting didn't exactly make me want to come back anytime soon. In turn, they glared at me angrily like sullen boys for playing the not visiting card. It was a lowball play, but so was their behavior. I told them that I didn't _want_ to stay away, but I wasn't going to come home if this was what was going to greet us. Adding that while I knew that they were showing me they cared about me and were trying to be protective, in their own way, enough was enough; Edward wasn't James. I'd gotten past that, and it was time they had too.

That got them to settle down, and by the end of the visit, it seemed as if they were trying to make an effort to not hate him. Even if it was just to appease me, I liked seeing it and hoped that eventually they could try to get to know him and find out for themselves that he was a really great guy. I knew that would take time, though, now that I was coming to realize just how much both of them blamed themselves with what had happened with James. With Jake it was not speaking up to me about his suspicions, with Dad it was for not having any, thinking he didn't like the guy simply because no one would ever be good enough for his little girl.

It was also during that first trip back to Washington that Edward drove me a few miles outside of Forks and showed me why, when he'd met me, he had been so shocked to find out that I was from this area.

_When he turned off the highway onto a path that was so obscure, I hadn't noticed until he started to turn onto it, it had me wondering how many times I'd driven by throughout the years without ever realizing there was a driveway there. The smooth dirt path wound back into the woods, the trees canopying over us like a living tunnel and reminded me vaguely of his parents' driveway. And then, after several lazy twists down the very long drive, the trees finally gave way, opening up into a large meadow-like lawn, overgrown from lack of inhabitation, decorated with about a half-dozen large shade trees. At the end of the meadow, behind where the path looped around, was a huge, old white farmhouse and a couple outbuildings set further back. It was then that Edward told me that shortly before his trip to New York where he'd met me, he had bought this place and the hundred acres of land surrounding it. _

_I had just stared dumbfounded out the windshield of the car._

_He continued to explain, likely due to my lack of reply, that he'd bought it, primarily for the privacy, especially since it was surrounded by state parkland forest, which meant no future neighbors. He said he'd planned to use it predominantly as a place for him, Dem and Felix to work together on his songs in privacy. The logistics of setting up studio time with him wanting his song writing to remain anonymous was becoming trickier each time they got together, since both him and Rules of Caius' were becoming increasingly more successful. He'd hoped this would be a good solution and would enable more flexibility too._

"_When I bought it, it was more for the land than the house. Actually, I was going to just tear it down, but when my mom saw the place, she said she would have disowned me if I would have done such a thing to this 'wonderful old home'," Edward said letting out a nervous laugh, babbling with my silence lengthening. _

_I wanted to say something, to ease his discomfort, to voice my opinion of the sheer beauty of the place I never knew existed so close to where I'd lived my entire life, but I couldn't find the words. _

"_I've already converted the garage into a studio. The house is quite rundown but functional, which served well enough as a place to crash, which was all I wanted, but Mom convinced me to redo the house. Apparently, immediately after I showed it to her, she started on designs for the renovations for the entire place," Edward let out a nervous laugh and then paused. _

_Silence filled the car again; chirping of birds and rustling of wind in the trees filled the car with their soft sounds and casted serene, dancing shadows in their wake. _

"_And now, I've started to think maybe, we'd like to live here…eventually…especially if we decide to start a family."_

_My head snapped over to look at him, my eyes wide and heart pounding, aching with hope and joy; a feeling that seemed to be hardwired in my head with Edward mentioning long-term future plans with me._

"_Only if you want, of course," he added quickly, his eyes squinting slightly, unsure about my thoughts as I still hadn't breathed a word._

"_Are you kidding?" I breathed incredulously. This serene, dreamlike place someday my home?_

"_No," he replied hesitantly. _

_I looked back to the old house with cracked white paint, nestled in a meadow surrounded by woods, like it belonged there, like it was happy to be there, and I felt myself wanting very much to belong there too._

"_I know the house isn't much to look at but—" _

_I shook my head vehemently, and cut him off. "The house is—." I swallowed trying to find the words. "I love it. I would love to live here. I would love all of that," I breathed, looking at Edward and then back at the house. I did love it. It had a certain unquantifiable charm to it. I loved the large porch, the homey feel the structure emanated, I loved that it wasn't grand or lavish and most of all, I loved that it wasn't perfect._

_Edward began to chuckle. "Don't get too carried away, love, you haven't seen the inside. I wasn't kidding when I said it's in poor shape."_

_I shook my head. "It doesn't matter," I told him. _

_Because it didn't. It didn't matter at all because it would be our home._

_Then, an image struck me, unbidden. It was one of Edward and me, sitting on that big front porch curled up next to one another, relaxing on a lazy summer afternoon, Edward with a guitar in his lap, playing to me, while we watched a couple of beautiful little green-eyed, bronze haired kids play in the meadow-like yard._

_I sucked in an unsteady breath; unprepared. It hadn't been the image that caused my reaction so much as how severely my entire being ached for it and how intense the feeling of joy it emanated. Never before the day Edward had first held my nephew, Riley, had I felt any desire towards having any kids of my own, and now the desire to do just that had tugged at me again. _

_Hard._

_I tried to shake it off as Edward reached for the car's door handle asking me if I wanted to look inside. He then chuckled, saying something about testing me about my claim that it didn't matter how bad of shape the house was in._

_As we made our way up to the house, he explained that he'd let his mom have free reign over the restoration and remodeling since he hadn't cared much one way or the other how it looked. He laughed indulgently as he told me about her exuberance over the project and that she already finished a few rooms insisting she wanted him to be able to be comfortable if he was at the place. But then he added that after I had agreed to move in with him, he'd asked her to not proceed with making any further changes because he wanted me to have a say in everything else that was done._

"_After all, it is your place now too," he added, holding open the front door for me, flashing me a shy smile that warmed me from the inside out. I smiled back at him before stepping into the house, fighting back the surge of want that was coursing through me because as much as I wanted to, I couldn't just have sex with him every hour of the day._

_I found that Edward was right, the house did need work, but it wasn't uninhabitable—discounting all the construction mess. The existing structure was beautiful and charming, and I felt grateful for Esme's interjection on demolishing it. She'd been right; a place like this should not be destroyed. As we walked through the rooms, I found that Esme had pinned up design proposals on the walls for me to review, many rooms already prepped for the planned changes. The detail of each design was amazing. Not only were Esme's artistic abilities incredible, but there were even samples of fabric, tile, flooring, rugs and paint, even photographs of things like mirrors, fireplaces and furniture already selected to sit inside each room._

_When we stood in what was to be the master bedroom, I ran my fingers along a snippet of thick, silky fabric that Esme had picked out for its curtains and turned to look out the window overlooking the backyard. The view was incredible—from up there I could see that just past the edge of the wood line was a creek running along it._

_This was all so wonderful and beautiful… surreal and overwhelming._

_Edward, sensing my tension, pulled my back against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. Then he assured me that nothing needed to be decided on at that moment and kissed the crown of my head._

"_I'm really not one to be asking design input on, Edward," I replied, "and I haven't seen a single thing your mother has put up that is anything shy of beautiful." It was true, and to my delight I saw she had used the house's existing style, framing her designs in complement to it, rather than trying to make it something it wasn't, and making it so much better than it ever had been, incorporating fresh ideas and current influences. It was all so much more than I could have ever dreamed up or put together. "She can do whatever she wants to the house as far as I'm concerned. These designs are incredible."_

"_She does get a bit overzealous when she gets excited about a project," Edward had mused, reaching out, touching the fabric samples proposed for the room himself. "But I want it to be what you want."_

"_If that's what you're worried about, Edward, what she has planned is better than anything I could ever come up with. She can go ahead with whatever she wants," I said shaking my head._

_A beat of silence slipped by as we looked out the window down at the view before us and I let my thoughts wander._

"_Edward?" I asked feeling my body stiffen and my eyes with a sweep of nerves that wracked through my body, realizing I'd spoken out loud, prompted by the thought that had bubbled to the top._

"_Yes?"_

_I took a shaky breath._

"_You know how out in the car you mentioned about eventually having a family?" I could hear my voice shake as I continued to stare out the window, but I couldn't see it any longer, my vision had gone blurry; unfocused._

_A beat of silence._

"_Yes," Edward asked apprehensively, most likely thinking my nerves meant I was going to tell him something he didn't want to hear._

_I took another breath and tried to continue, but my words caught in my throat and I swallowed hard trying to dislodge them. _

_I felt Edward's body stiffen as he continued to hold me against his chest. When he spoke, his voice sounded so sad. "So it's true what your brother had said about you not ever wanting—"_

"_No," I interrupted, finding my voice. "Well, it _was_ true. It's not anymore—"_

"_Bella, I don't want you to tell me you want something just because you know it's what I want," Edward protested softly, sounding heartbroken and I found myself glad I couldn't see his expression even though he was because he was wrong with his assumption._

"_I'm not," I disagreed firmly and I turned to look into his beautiful green eyes, placing my hands on his chest. "I'm not saying this for your sake. It's true that I never before in my life thought I'd ever honestly say this, but I _want_ to have a family—one with _you _anyway. I didn't think I wanted kids, but with you, I do. …Very much so," I added breathing a laugh of disbelief of how much I wanted kids with this man I was lucky enough to call mine. "And I can't think of any better place for us to have them than here."_

_I watched as it sunk in with Edward that I was being completely truthful and quite serious. Then a breathtaking smile slowly spread across Edward's face and he kissed me soundly._

"_Really?" he asked, as if needing the confirmation for his head to accept t._

"_Really," I smiled up at him._

"_Maybe I'll tell my mom to hold off on the other bedrooms up here then," he smiled shyly with the suggestion despite the confession I'd just relayed to him. It was adorable how vulnerable he seemed with the mention of a family and I loved him all the more because he wanted one. And it made me unbelievably happy that I could honestly tell him it was something I truly wanted too._

"_Yeah, I think that's a good idea, so long as your mom helps decorate them later. I won't be any more useful in that department than the rest of the place," I laughed. "I have nothing to contribute for input."_

"_I'm sure we wouldn't have to do much to convince her to do it," Edward chuckled._

_But then a thought crossed my mind of one input I did have. _

"_Actually I _do _have one request for the house," I added quietly, biting my lip._

"_And what's that?" Edward chuckled again, kissing me lightly as he settled his hands on my hips._

"_Can the bathroom that's planned to go in here, have a shower like the one you have in LA?" I blushed, unsure why._

_Edward laughed loudly and lifted a hand, tipping my chin up until my face was square with his again. "The shower _we_ have in LA, love," he'd corrected. "And yes, you can have anything you want."_

"_Then, can I pay for it?" I bit my lip again._

"_You want to pay for the shower?" Edward asked incredulously like he thought I'd lost my mind._

_I'd nodded, seriously. "I obviously can't really contribute in paying for the rest of the house—at least not yet—and the only thing I really want is that shower, so I want to pay for it."_

"_I told you, Bella," Edward had admonished, "I don't want you to think of it that way. I consider my money is just as much yours now too. I have more than I ever could need."_

_Edward released my lip I was chewing on nervously._

"_But I didn't earn your money," I argued softly._

"_Sure you have," Edward wagged his eyebrows and winked._

_I rolled my eyes suppressing a laugh at his playful argument._

"_Please?" I breathed._

"_Fine," Edward chuckled, shaking his head, conceding. "You can have anything you want, love," he added kissing my forehead, making me grin ridiculously with my small victory._

Our next trip was a couple weeks later when we came back to Washington for my birthday. After we spent the day with my family, Edward drove us to the house, opting to stay there for the night, utilizing the finished bedroom, bathroom and now completed kitchen, since Esme was given the go-ahead to continue her remodeling—besides, I loved it there. I couldn't wait until we lived there for any degree of permanence and it wasn't just because it was within easy distance of my family, because I honestly didn't think I would love the place any less if it had been located half a world away from everyone besides Edward.

_Edward parked the rental car in front of the porch and I started to head to the house, but he redirected me, telling me he had a surprise for me out back—a birthday present. Curious, I followed him to one of the out buildings wondering what kind of present could possibly be out there. As he led me in through the door, a knot formed in my stomach, worried he had bought me another outrageous vehicle, like the Audi he'd just given to me. But then he turned on the light._

_My breath hitched. I couldn't believe what I saw. There before me stood… my truck._

"_I'm having it restored, but there wasn't any way to have it finished in time for your birthday and I didn't want to wait to show you," he explained, his eyes tightening, unsure, scrutinizing my reaction to the gift. "Your dad and Jake offered to take it in next week when the restoration place in Seattle is able to start working on it."_

_The shocked look on my face had Edward backpedaling._

"_I'd called Jacob and asked him what you'd want for your birthday since you kept telling me 'nothing'. He said you used to have this truck and—," Edward cut off. "Oh shit, he was fucking with me wasn't he? I should have known, because I know he doesn't believe what really happened in Atlanta. He—"_

_I'd managed to shake my head as I stared at the dented fender that told me it wasn't just a truck like the one I used to have, it was actually my truck. My hand flew up, covering my mouth. It was the dent I'd gotten junior year of high school when a classmate slid on the ice in the school parking lot and collided with my truck only a second after I'd stepped past the point of impact, heading into class that morning._

_My truck! It was really my truck!_

"_How did you—?" I began to ask, my hand sliding down to my chest, but I couldn't finish the rest of the question; I was in too much shock. I reached out to touch the faded red hood, just to make sure it was real._

_Edward eyed me warily. "Jacob," he'd explained. "When I asked him if he had any ideas on what to get you, he told me about this truck you used to have. He offered to track down the current owner for me."_

_Jake had known._

_Of course Jacob had known. He knew how much I had loved that truck. Of course he'd seen through my dismissal of trading it for the old Honda I never cared for. And telling Edward about it, helping him with getting me something he knew I'd love was Jake's obscure way of telling me he was trying. For me, he was trying to get past his doubts about Atlanta and was at least beginning to believe Edward wasn't lying._

_I would have to call him…to thank him._

_I threw my arms around Edward, squeezing him tightly._

"_Thank you," I breathed, my words thick with feeling from the threatening tears, and then I pulled myself up on my tip-toes and kissed him enthusiastically. "I love it, Edward. Thank you."_

"_You're welcome," he chuckled in relief, holding me against him tightly. "I'm glad you like it."_

"_This is the best birthday present ever," I swore._

"_Well maybe after it's restored," Edward amended. "Then it will be perfect."_

"_Nope, just the way it is," I grinned. "Do you have the keys?" I asked excitedly._

"_Right here," Edward said releasing me with one arm and pulling them from his pocket._

_I grabbed the keys from his hand like an excited child and climbed into the driver seat. Edward pulled open the garage door and then settled in on the passenger side of the truck. He made a face when I turned the key and it sputtered loudly to life as I revved the engine to keep it idling. And then he laughed taking in my glowing smile that was so wide it hurt my face. When I pulled out of the shed I vowed immediately to sell the hateful old Honda parked at my parents' place to the first person who looked at it._

It wasn't long after that trip to Forks though that Edward's schedule began to fill up with press junkets and other promotional things—mostly in LA—for the release of _Strange Days_ which kept him quite busy and made the time fly by.

And now, it was already December and Edward and I were on this plane, flying to New York City and, right after, to London for the Premieres of _Strange Days_. It was odd how it felt like time had flown by so quickly, but yet it had seemed like forever ago that all this had started—so much had happened in so little time.

"You alright, love?" Edward asked squeezing my hand, pulling me from my reverie.

"I'm great," I assured him. "I'm just thinking about the last few months," I smiled and earned one in return.

"Well, I hope they're good thoughts," Edward teased, smirking and drawing up the hand he was holding, pressing his lips to the back of it and then began playing with my fingers. Though his tone was light, I could sense a light undertone of seriousness with his comment, as if he was uncertain.

"Eh," I said, faking indifference. "They're alright," I said hoping I pulled off sounding disappointed.

"You're a wretched liar, love," Edward laughed and poked at my side making me jump and laugh loudly.

"I learned from the best," I giggled and pulled Edward in for a deep kiss he eagerly returned, not caring if we had the whole cabin watching.

XXXXX

"Please welcome our first guest, Anthony Cullen!" Aro announced.

The crowd erupted in cheers and clapping that I could hear from the greenroom—that actually had scarcely a snip of green anywhere—back stage of _The Late Show,_ even with the buzz of the hand-full of other people in the room chatting.

I'd found that the back stage wasn't nearly as exciting as I would have thought it would be. Just beyond the few rooms and long, pale and undecorated hallway behind the set, there was no glamor about it. There were light sets, scaffolds, pipes, cords and exposed beams, the floors were concrete and the "guts" of the walls were uncovered; it felt more like a manufacturing building than the set of a long-running, successful late-night talk show.

From the worn black, L-shaped couch, I watched the television screen on the wall displaying what was being taped and sipped a cup of bad, but hot, coffee to warm me up from the cold room. I was also still trying to shake off the creepy way Aro had looked at me when he introduced himself just before the show.

My body shuddered. I still didn't know what it was about him that gave me the heebie-jeebies, but he did. Up close he was even worse than watching him from the seats of the audience like I had six months before.

I pulled myself from that thought and brought my attention back to the screen. I giggled hearing the cheers and screams of the audience continue, through both TV's speakers and walls, as I watched Edward appear from behind the partition wearing a muted green t-shirt and washed-out jeans that hung perfectly on his hips. I smiled to myself, remembering back to June watching him come out from behind it and my silent, but embarrassingly strong, reaction to him. I marveled in wonder at just how much _more_ attracted to him I was now with discovering the real him than I was then when he was just Anthony Cullen to me.

And now he wasn't that person at all, he was Edward and he was mine—a fact finally cemented in me in a way I could no longer question or deny.

I smiled widely, looking at him from the screen admiring his jaw porn and the only sexy Adam's apple in existence.

_Holy hell he's sexy._ I marveled. _And he's all mine._ I added in wonder, feeling my chest filled so full of love and happiness I wasn't sure how my body was able to contain it.

I watched as Edward ran his hand through his hair out of nervous habit as he walked up to Aro, uncomfortable by the attention. I bit my lip, wanting him, loving him for being so unaffected by his success.

"Anthony! Welcome back! Good to see you again, my friend!" Aro greeted, shaking Anthony's hand and they both sat down. "How are you doing?"

"I'm great," Edward smiled widely, still riding the high I was on, not yet fully locked into his Anthony persona.

"You look it!" Aro laughed and a few audience members voiced and applauded their agreement.

I giggled. _Yes he does_.

"Thank you," Edward laughed and I could see him settle himself and begin to settle into his interview mode.

"I just heard you had some big news," Aro prompted. "It seems to be the only thing anyone is talking about these past couple days!"

My chest tightened with nerves, why exactly I didn't know.

Edward laughed and nodded, scratching the far side of his jaw with his thumb.

Mmm…

"Yeah, I do actually. I just got engaged," he beamed and I beamed right back at him on the television screen.

"_Charles!" I exclaimed, grinning happily to see the familiar driver again as he held the car door open for us, immediately forgetting about the paparazzi's camera flashes and questions they were prompting Edward with. _

"_Miss Bella," he nodded and gave me his signature crinkly smile. "It's good to see you again."_

_For some strange reason, I had the oddest urge to give him a hug, but instead I just smiled at him and squeezed his arm as I climbed into the car._

"_Should I be worried about you two?" Edward asked as he settled in beside me. _

_I laughed, rolling my eyes and shoved his shoulder teasingly and leaned in to him. Edward chuckled, putting his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder, smelling his comforting honey and sunshine smell I was now well familiar with but still couldn't get enough of._

_It was the best smell in the world._

_We arrived at the same hotel Edward had stayed at in June when I'd met him, pulling into the cavernous parking area, greeted by a man in a suit with a black folder when we stepped out of the car who had Edward sign some paperwork within it and handed him two cardkeys—one of which he passed to me, the other he slipped into his wallet. Then the man added a note about the kitchen being stocked and something else that was in the room for him as he'd requested, thanked "Anthony" and gestured for him to proceed ahead of him into the lavish waiting area before us, where a uniformed man was waiting with our luggage to take us up to the room. I wondered fleetingly if anyone had ever actually sat on the furniture in that room when there was someone always waiting to bring people to where they needed to go._

_The uniformed man followed us in the elevator with our luggage and we headed up._

_Once we reached the room and Edward closed the door behind the exorbitantly tipped hotel employee, he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I leaned back into him in welcome._

"_I hope you don't mind we're not staying somewhere different," he murmured dipping his head, kissing the curve of my neck. "I couldn't help myself and asked Irena to book the same room."_

_I hummed in contentment, tipping my head up so I could press my lips to his._

"_Actually, I'm glad you did," I admitted. "I was just enjoying the on slot of memories that greeted me with being here again."_

"_Hmm, yes, at the time I was kicking myself when I'd offered it, but agreeing to bring you up here to play for you was the best thing I ever did."_

"_Play for me again?" I pleaded, turning around to face him._

_Edward breathed an incredulous laugh. "You hear me play all the time at home, love. I'm rather shocked you're not thoroughly sick of hearing me play."_

"_Never! Please?"_

"_You can have anything you want, Bella."_

_I laughed at the memory of him telling me those very words the last time I was here. Edward shed his jacket and disappeared into the bedroom for a moment, as I pulled my jacket off too and laid it on the back of the couch. Edward reappeared, picking up his guitar case along the way and grabbed my hand, leading me to the raised floor the piano sat on across the room._

"_Was there something in particular you wanted to hear?" he asked, his eyes full of amusement with the replay of the conversation we'd had the first time here._

"_Something you wrote," I said holding back a grin._

"_Something I wrote…" Edward echoed in a whisper as if considering, suddenly looking nervous. "Well, there is something new I've been working on. Something new…" he said shifting his eyes to his guitar, his offer hanging in the air for a beat._

"_Have I heard it?" I prompted, genuinely curious if he was serious or if he was pretending it was that first night all over again._

_Edward shook his head and swallowed._

_Why did he seem so nervous? Did he think I'd not like the song? I had yet to dislike anything he'd written, and many times they had completely opposite sounds from one to the next._

_Or was he just anticipating what was going to come with him playing a new song for me? A thrill shot through me. Maybe I was misinterpreting his hope that playing for me would result in something like the first time as nerves._

_Hmm. I bit my lip in anticipation. Now besides being curious to hear the song, I was eager for the aftermath._

_Edward pulled out the piano bench, sat on it the wrong way and pulled out his guitar. He reached out for my hand and gently pulled me over to sit down next to him. Then he plucked at the strings, adjusting the tune until it was right and then brushed his fingers across them all._

_The sound was beautiful._

_Edward looked up from the guitar and over at me, as if in debate on whether he was going to play it for me or not for a beat. But then he turned, situating the guitar and began plucking out a tune._

_He was right. I hadn't heard it. It was beautifully melodic and soft. _

_When did Edward write this song? How had I not heard it if it was new? How had I not heard everything he'd written at this point?_

_Then Edward's voice, velvety and rich, joined in._

_I sat there, staring at him, equally in rapture and shock. It was a very simple but gorgeous song. The words were simple, honest and heartfelt it had me grinning and caused tears to well up in my eyes at the same time and spill silently down my smiling cheeks. I knew immediately it was about me…us…and our story. It was, by far, not the first song he'd written about me or us, but something about it just hit me harder than the others. Maybe it was being here again, maybe it was me, finally confidently accepting the reality of the fact that Edward was all mine. I didn't know._

_I only made it to the end of the first chorus—Edward had just begun to play a few notes transitioning between it and the next verse—when my mouth was on his. Edward quickly surrendered the guitar, trading it for me, pulling me to his lap, holding me tightly as I straddled him. I held his face in my hands, wishing I was wearing a dress instead of jeans that effectively blocked me from him._

_For the first time in my life—that I could think of—I was desperately wishing I was wearing a dress._

"_I'm sorry," I breathed, pulling back abruptly, my actions catching up with me. I'd interrupted his song and wanted to hear the rest._

"_Never for that," Edward breathed, shaking his head, his green eyes full of want as they looked at me, before he quickly pulled me in for another fervent kiss._

_I giggled, smiling against his lips. God, he could kiss…_

"_I take it you like the new tune," Edward concluded, between kisses._

_I nodded, my hands on the sides of his neck, my fingers twined in the soft hair at the nape._

"_So it's obvious that it was about you and me, then?" he laughed, softly kissing my cheek._

"_Not at all," I smiled teasingly, sitting back, calming myself, Edward's hands settled at my hips, his thumbs under my shirt rubbing against my bare hipbones, holding the sides of my waist._

_Then he reached up and dragged the back of his hand down my flushed cheek and the expression on his face changed._

"_You know, I've been thinking about this for a while; trying to figure out how to do it," he whispered, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. "But nothing I came up with felt like it was exactly right."_

_I looked at him, lost. Was he talking about playing me the song he wrote about us? It wasn't the first one. Why did this one worry him about me hearing it?_

"_At first I wondered if it was because I wanted it to be absolutely perfect for you, but it all felt…" he sighed and looked up at me with the sweetest expression on his gorgeous face, "I don't know, forced. Nothing I came up with felt like it was something that fit you and me. I know why now. This," he said putting his palm against my cheek and I reflexively leaned into it, his eyes blazing with intensity for something I wasn't quite clear on yet, but I let him continue his thoughts, interested in what it was he was getting at, "is you and me; easy, natural, unrehearsed… perfect. We're not traditional or planned out at all," he breathed a laugh, "and I love that about you…us."_

_I smiled, my chest warming with his words, feeling they were right on. He was exactly right…we were naturally meant for each other._

"_In the moment is best," he added, nodding to himself. _

_I looked at him curiously again, in the beat that passed before he spoke again, feeling suddenly uneasy, but I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because I was lost about where he was going with his sentiments._

"_Isabella Marie Swan, I love you," he simpered and I couldn't help but grin back at him using my full name. _

"_I love you too Edward Anthony Cullen," I replied grinning._

"_I love you more than I ever thought it was possible for a person to love another," he continued causing me to flush at his words, "and something tells me _now_ is exactly the right time to make sure you know I can't imagine my life without you and I don't want to ever have to. I want, more than anything, to spend the rest of my life with you, to have everything with you."_

_My eyes grew wide, finally catching up to him. My heart thrummed in triple-time._

"_Will you marry me?"_

The crowd applauded and cheered as Aro congratulated Edward.

A beat later I realized the room had gone quiet. My stomach flipped and cheeks flamed, feeling all eyes in the room move to me. I glanced at the others in the room and saw their eyes on the ridiculously large ring that now sat on my left hand and it immediately felt heavier.

They must not have heard Edward's official confirmation he announced earlier today to the press in response to the speculation. Otherwise, the reminder of Edward voicing the news now had sent their eyes searching with the opportunity for an up close view.

I tried to ignore the eyes on me and turned my attention back to the screen, and my gorgeous, smiling fiancé.

"Isabella, right?" Aro confirmed and my cheeks felt like they were on fire from being the topic of conversation.

"Yes," Edward's eyes lit up with humor.

Isabella. I grinned.

When the press had finally discovered who I was after Edward and I first met, they uncovered my full name, not my preferred, so I was always referenced as Isabella in any article. Edward went with it, and always publically referred to me as Isabella. He was right; I did fit in with his family when it came to the whole name thing.

I giggled realizing we were both someone else to the world than what we really were. To them we were Anthony and Isabella, but in reality, we were simply, Edward and Bella.

"She came here with you tonight," Aro prompted, knowing very well I had since he'd met me.

Edward nodded, smiling. "Yes, she is traveling with me while I promote _Strange Days."_

"Is she out here?" Aro asked looking out to the audience, hopeful.

"No, she's watching from backstage," Edward corrected, gesturing back behind him.

"Oh," Aro said looking a bit deflated. "Well, I did have the pleasure of meeting her before the show. She is a very sweet woman, and I must say Anthony, she is absolutely stunning!" he gushed.

"I have to say I quite agree," Edward laughed.

"I'm sure you do," Aro laughed jovially and the crowed joined in. "How did the two of you meet?"

"We met here in New York, actually."

"She's from the Seattle area though, right?" Aro confirmed.

"Yeah, she is." Edward nodded.

"So how did that happen?" Aro asked baffled. "You're in LA, aren't you?"

Edward nodded in affirmation.

"And she's from Washington…" Aro continued, trailing off for Edward to fill in the blanks.

"She was here in New York on vacation with her best friend at the same time I was here promoting my last movie," Edward said. He paused and laughed adding, "You know, she was actually in the audience the last time I was on the show."

I let out a short laugh and covered my mouth, earning a few curious glances from everyone else in the room. I couldn't believe he'd admitted that fact.

"No!" Aro laughed in disbelief. "Really?"

Edward nodded, running his hand through his hair and pulled on it. "We hadn't met yet, of course, but yeah, she was," he laughed.

"That's incredible. Where did you two meet then?"

My eyes went wide and for a very brief, but terrifying, moment, I worried he was going to admit my choking and inadvertent blowjob comment.

"We crossed paths another night at a concert," Edward said simply.

"And, the rest is history," Aro concluded looking as if he thoroughly enjoyed happy endings such as this.

Edward's smile was bright and showed how happy he was about that fact as he agreed.

I took a relieved breath, chastising myself. I knew Edward would never have told him that exchange we had where I embarrassed the hell out of myself, no matter how cute he thought it was and lovingly teased me about from time-to-time.

"Do you have a date set?"

"No," Edward replied and laughed. "Not yet."

I giggled. He was such a terrible liar.

XXXXX

"Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" a thickly sarcastic voice rang in my ear as I waited for Edward and my drinks from the bartender. I'd excused myself from Edward's conversation he was having with Emmett, who'd come to the Premiere of _Strange Days_.

I looked to my left and found none other than Tanya Denali standing next to me, swaying slightly, looking rather drunk and a bit disheveled. Her boobs were practically hanging out of the sparkly white dress she was donning—not that it was much less of a threat earlier—making her look trashy.

I had cringed when I'd seen her arrive at the after party. Apparently she was currently dating one of Edward's cast mates from the movie and I had wondered if it wasn't really just a ploy to get close to Edward. I had hoped she had left since I'd not seen her for a while and I'd managed to escape running into her.

Apparently I wasn't that lucky.

"You know what?" she asked and then continued without waiting for a reply. "I think you _honestly _believe that you two are going to last forever," she sneered condescendingly, her words slurring slightly. "Please," she scoffed. "Don't let that rock he put on your finger fool you. Tony's never going to stay interested in some simple little average nothing like you…_Isabella_."

Wait. What? _Tony?_

"I would have thought you would have realized _that_ when Tony and me were _together _in Atlanta, after you'd gone home," she pointed out. "Or doesn't it bother you that he's still fucking me?"

"Oh, really?" I derided, laughing to myself at the thought as the bartender set my drinks in front of me and I threw some money into the tip bowl.

Tanya had to sell her shit somewhere else because I knew better now.

"Don't you ever wonder where he is when he's not with you…when he _says _he's working? The nights he's not sleeping beside you? Off somewhere else without you?" she asked insinuatingly.

Edward and I hadn't spent a night apart since he got back from Atlanta and were together nearly all the time. Tanya was playing on an assumed insecurity with a card she thought was an Ace, but what she didn't realize was it was really the Joker. Six months prior her words would have jarred me. Now, it was laughable.

"Well it's only fair you know; when he's not with you, he's with me," she continued with a slurring air of self-riotousness.

I stared at her ridiculous statement. Was she serious? How deluded could she be? I held back my laughter, not wanting to let myself laugh in her face just yet. I was still calculating what the best reaction would be and wanted to hear what else she had to say first.

"You're adorable, really," she kept on, "but you're out of your depth here sweetie. You need to go back to that little rink-a-dink town you came from, find some nobody to marry and pop out a dozen kids. Leave Tony to me."

I took a deep breath, wanting to think of something to say that would knock her back to reality. And then inspiration hit me.

"Yeah…" I trailed off, as if her words seemed to click things together for me, thinking about lonely nights that didn't exist. I knew that what she'd done to Edward wasn't any better than what James had done to me. Edward would willingly touch her again about as quickly as I would James. "You know what?" I asked grabbing a cocktail napkin and pen from the bar top. "Here," I said as I scribbled down a phone number. Then I turned to Tanya and held it out in offering.

"What?" she scoffed in a seething tone, seeing the phone number on the napkin, refusing to touch it. "You think my giving you a desperately needed wakeup call, means that you and me are going to be BFFs or something?" Tanya made a disgusted sound. "Please."

Tanya rolled her eyes pompously and downed the contents of her martini before loudly and very rudely demanding another to the bartender.

"Oh!" I said as I turned the face of the napkin to me, as if reading it and realizing that I'd only written the phone number. "No. Wait. Hold on."

I set it on the bar and added "James" over the number, set the pen down and handed it to Tanya trying hard not to smirk. Looking away from the bartender to the napkin I held in front of her face, she took it from my hand this time, yanking it from my fingers hatefully, flashing me a glare as she did. She angrily flipped it so she could see what I wrote, obviously annoyed and read what I'd added.

"What the fuck is this?" she demanded disdainfully.

"You should call him," I insisted not having to fake my sincerity. "I really think the two of you would be perfect for one another."

Tanya made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat and glared at me contemptuously as if she couldn't believe I had the audacity to think I would know someone worth her time.

"I figure since you're both so good at it…that you could just fuck over each other," I sneered, "and leave _Tony_ and me the hell alone."

And then I picked up my drinks, turned on my heel and headed back to Edward, to the man who I knew would always be mine and I always his…without a single doubt.

* * *

**Our Bella has come far, don't you think? :) **

**Just one chapter to go...**

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**Thanks for reading,**

**TJE**


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